我现在不能面试 I can't do a job interview right now.
我头脑不清楚 My head's not in the right place.
进监狱的应该是我 不该是蕾西 I should be in jail, not Lacey.
蕾西在缓刑期 Lacey was on probation.
她不应该在商店偷窃的 She should've known better than to be shoplifting.
我一直在想 I just keep thinking,
我应该把棉花糖放进我的衣服里 "I should've put the marshmallows in my clothes."
但是 没有 But, no.
我一看见她把手放进她的裙子里 I watched her put her hands in her dress
我想要说"停" and I tried to say "Stop,"
但是能发出的声音只是"妈呀" and then the only sound that came out was "Oh-hh."
你不能闲着没事就想着蕾西 You can't sit around thinking about Lacey.
你要向前看 最好的方式就是找份工作 You gotta move forward. The best way to do that is to get a job.
蕾西也会让你这样做的 It's what Lacey would want you to do...
如果她不是只想着自己的话 if she ever thought about anybody other than herself.
凯特为什么要雇我 Why would Kate even hire me?
因为你符合做一个接待员的 Because you have all the qualifications
所有资格 to make a great receptionist.
你会说话 你会按钮 You can talk, you can push buttons,
你是个有机的生命体 you're a carbon-based life form.
但是如果凯特和我相处不好怎么办 But what if Kate and I don't get along?
你一直以来都喜欢追求 Look, you have a history of seeking out women
冷血 专横和有虐待倾向的女人 who are cold, domineering, and borderline abusive.
你会喜欢她的 You're gonna love her.
你觉得她会对我大喊大叫吗 So you think she'll yell at me?
为什么不呢 I don't see why not.
快点 我还有很多工作要做 Hey, come on. I got a lot of work to do.
整理一下头发 这是个面试 Fix your hair. This is a job interview.
我喜欢她 I like her.
《愤怒管理》第二季第十六集
诺兰 介绍一下你自己 So, Nolan, tell me about yourself.
我觉得我的简历不言则明了 Well, I think my resume speaks for itself.
98年至98年 From '98 to '98,
我在塔可钟工作 I worked at Taco Bell.
塔可钟:美国连锁快餐
然后98年至98年 And then from '98 to '98,
我在捷飞络工作 I worked at Jiffy Lube.
捷飞络:美国连锁汽车快速保养店
-然后在98年 -我能看一下吗 - and then in '98, uh... - Can I see that for a minute?
我还有14年没说呢 But I still have 14 more years to go.
说你的简历还是98年的东西 On your resume or to tell us what's left in '98?
你介意去接待处等一下 Would you mind waiting in the reception area
我和凯特谈谈 while Kate and I talk?
我给告诉你 Oh. I should tell you.
我有偏头痛 I do suffer from migraines,
所以有几天办公室必须是漆黑的 so there'll be days that the office has to be pitch-black.
留下这个人要多少代价 So what's it gonna take to land this guy?
我知道 他一团糟 雇他吧 我欠你个人情 I know, I know. He's a mess, but hire him and I'll owe ya.
好吧 我有什么好处 Okay. What do I get?
一整晚激情做爱听起来怎么样 How does an entire night of passionate lovemaking sound?
-挺累 -那就雇他 要不然累死你 - Exhausting. - Then give him the job or that's what you'll get.
这还不够 Uh-uh. You're gonna have to do better.
这家伙就像像个被拯救的小狗 This guy's like a human rescue dog.
很可爱很温柔 但是我一出门 He's cute and he's sweet, but soon as I leave,
他就会开始呜呜叫 然后在沙发上撒尿 he'll whine and pee on the couch.
好吧 这样如何 Okay, how 'bout this?
我把信用卡给你 你去"大内密探"血拼 I give you my credit card and you go crazy at Agent Provocateur.
大内密探:内衣品牌
我能买那件渔网塑身衣 还有那个马毛鞭吗 Ooh, can I get the fishnet bodysuit with the horsehair whip?
-你要是雇了诺兰就好了 -好吧 - You can if you hire Nolan. - Fine.
你知道鞭子不用用来表演的是吗 You know the whip isn't for show.
我知道 I know.
花了4个小时让这个女人有点时尚理念 After four hours of trying to lead this woman to fashion sanity,
她却选了件粉色豹纹大衣 she picks out the pink leopard-skin coat.
我就想"她肯定是个妓女" I thought, "She has to be a hooker."
帕特里克 你真的不能在这么毒舌了 Patrick, you really gotta work on being less judgmental.
就因为她的时尚感非常大胆 Just because she has a bold fashion sense
不意味着她是个妓女 doesn't mean she's a prostitute.
她要用嘴付款 She offered to pay me with her mouth.
那确实意味着她是个妓女 Well, that does mean she's a prostitute.
这让我想起了 蕾西在拘留所怎么样了 That reminds me, how's Lacey doing in the hoosegow?
昨晚跟她说话了 她在监狱里很不好 I talked to her last night. She's having a hard time in jail.
不出意料 And, big surprise,
她和其他狱友相处得不好 she's getting into it with some of the other inmates.
所以我在监狱里安排了一期愤怒治疗 So I've arranged to do an anger management session at the jail.
你要考虑做一些防护措施 Might wanna consider wearing some protection over your, eh,
保护你的私人部位 private parts.
否则那些野猫会挠你的 Otherwise, those cats will be scratching at your post.
谢谢你的朴素智慧 Well, thanks for that homespun wisdom.
诺兰 你喜欢为凯特工作吗 So, Nolan. How do you like working for Kate?
我从未如此满足过 I've never been so fulfilled.
我煮了咖啡 整理了一下文件 I made some coffee, did some filing,
看了她一些半裸的照片 saw some crazy half-naked pictures of her,
浇了花 watered some plants...
等等 什么照片 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this about pictures?
我的错 That was my bad.
我不小心打开了她的发件箱 I opened up her outgoing mail by mistake
然后出现了一张内衣照 and a lingerie photo fell out.
摇了几下售价 With a lot of shaking...
一些其他的照片也不小心出现了 a bunch of other photos fell out by mistake, too.
你是怎么分得清发件箱 How can you not tell the difference between outgoing
还有收件箱的 and incoming mail?
你面对着桌面时 When you're facing the desk,