COWBOY: Hey, wire. COWBOY 2: Wire. They've drawn a fence.
Them plow-pushers must have put it up there last night.
I'll fix this.
(COWBOYS SHOUTING)
FARMER: Cow herders!
COWBOY: Hey, cornhuskers!
JUDGE BEAN: Shad Wilkins, you've been tried and found guilty
of the most serious crime west of the Pecos,
to wit, shooting a steer.
Got anything to say for yourself before the sentence of the court is executed?
I told you they shot at me first!
I didn't mean to kill that steer on purpose! I was aiming at the man.
It's your bad luck you missed him. That's the trouble with you sodbusters,
you can't shoot straight.
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Shad,
may the Lord have mercy on your soul. Hey!
Buck, I want to see you.
COWBOY 1: Well, how's the hanging, there?
COWBOY 2: Well, his neck didn't hardly stretch a foot.
Here's to the greatest woman in the world,
- Lily Langtry. - Miss Langtry.
Did you hear the toast, stranger?
To Lily Langtry? I thought you meant your friends.
That includes every man that drinks at my bar.
Glad to join you. Have you ever met Miss Langtry?
No, I never met her. I never met the sun, I never shook hands with the moon,
and I've never been introduced to no clouds.
That's all right. Too bad Lily Langtry couldn't have heard that.
No, I was in England once, but didn't get around to it.
Oh, you was in England once, and you could have seen her,
- but you never got around to it, eh? - Yeah.
- Get out of my bar. - Huh?
- To the Jersey Lily. - COWBOY 1: Miss Langtry.
All right, Mort, if Shad's good and cold, you can have him.
(EX CLAIMS)
$4, that's all he had. I'll make it up to you on the next one.
Get off.
- What you got there? - A horse thief, Judge.
- Get in there. - JUDGE BEAN: Chickenfoot, the law.
CHICKENFOOT: Hear ye, hear ye, court of Vinegarroon is now in session.
We caught him on Chickenfoot's horse that was stole last week.
- My horse Pete? Where's he at? - Right outside.
Well, so it is. Pete.
No, Your Honor. I was just trying to get the lay of the land.
- You will, too, at the end of a rope. - JUDGE BEAN: Southeast, no anticipating.
Hey, Judge! Judge, that is my old sabino pony. He's tied right out there.
People of Vinegarroon again... You can use any name you like.
JUDGE BEAN: What are you doing in Vinegarroon?
- Oh, just passing through. - Homesteader?
- No. - JUDGE BEAN: Where do you hail from?
- No place in particular. - JUDGE BEAN: Where are you heading for?
- No place special. - Oh, saddle bum, huh?
Well, it's all right to live on a horse if it's your own horse.
Bart, turn loose the prisoner's hands. Chickenfoot, swear him in.
(MUMBLING) Do you swear to tell the truth... So help you?
JUDGE BEAN: Well, now, I'll tell you, son... Are you Bean?
- Judge Roy W. Bean. - My name's Jane Ellen Mathews.
Yes, Miss Mathews, what can I do for you?
- What have you done with Shad Wilkins? - Shad Wilkins?
When some of your wranglers came up and took him away.
Oh, yeah, he was hanging around out there a while back, but he ain't around now.
Your men not only took him away, but they tore down the fence.
Not a stick of it was left standing. JUDGE BEAN: That so?
Yes, that's so, and you needn't pretend you don't know about it.
Well, it don't surprise me none. It's against the law.
- What law? Whose law? - Mine.
- Now, you listen to me, Mr. Bean. - Judge Bean.
You're no more a judge than I am. Just call yourself a judge.
I wouldn't say that if I was you. I might consider it contempt of court.
It's contempt, all right. You call this a court?
I do, and it happens to be in session right now.
Now, you sit down, Miss Mathews, and I'll tend to your case in a minute.
You're charged with stealing a horse. Guilty or not guilty?
- JUDGE BEAN: Where's exhibit A? - Huh?
Where's the horse? Bring in the horse, Chickenfoot.
Miss Mathews, when cattle can't get to water, they die.
There's miles of river on each side of our homestead.
This country's unfenced rangeland. It always was, and always will be.
CHICKENFOOT: Get in there. All right, give me room there, you guys.
Whoa, Pete. Come on in here.
Come on, get over there. Give us a little room.
Mr. Harden, it's my duty to inform you
that the larceny of an equine is a capital offense, punishable by death,
but you can rest assured that, in this court,
a horse thief always gets a fair trial before he's hung.
- Chickenfoot, that's your horse? - Oh, why, Judge...
Can you prove it's your horse?
Why, Judge, anybody here... I can prove it by Pete himself that he's my horse.
Pete, you're my horse, ain't you?
Ownership of horse clearly established. It belongs to Chickenfoot.
Well, I don't contest it, Your Honor. Maybe the horse does belong
to Chickenfoot here, but I didn't steal it.
- How'd you get it then? - I bought it.
- JUDGE BEAN: Order in the court! - That all you got to say?
No, it's not. I'm not going to stay here and see anybody railroaded like this.
Miss Mathews, I don't recollect you was summoned as a witness in this trial.
What kind of a trial is it when a prisoner
isn't even allowed to have anybody speak for him?
You an attorney, Miss?
I'm as much an attorney as you are a judge.
- You know this man? - No, I don't.
- You ever see him before? - No, but...
- Can you prove he didn't steal the horse? - No.
Then he don't need no lawyer then. This man was caught on a stolen horse,
and in this jurisdiction, that's prima facie evidence.
- The case is closed and that's my ruling. - Yes, and it's just like all your rulings!
The courtroom will now be cleared of everybody,
excepting the judge, the jury, the prisoner, the witnesses and...
I guess that means you. All right, I'll go.
It's murder, that's what it is. Murder. This man hasn't got a chance,
but you never give anybody a chance.
You didn't give us one when you stampeded the cattle over our crops.
You thought you'd starve the homesteaders out, but you didn't.
You can pester us and rob us and kill us, but you can't stop us.
'Cause there'll always be more coming. More and more.
And we'll stay on our farms in spite of you, and your courtroom and your killers!
By gobs, she's all right. She'd make a good cattleman.
If it wasn't for Lily, I'd marry her.
Giddap.
You heard the case against the accused, pro and con.
Now I guess maybe you'd better retire to consider a verdict.
(HORSE HOOVES CLOPPING)
Chickenfoot, you'd better take Pete out for a little fresh air.
Take him out, Bart. I got work to do.
And while you retire, there'll be a recess for them that's thirsty.
Well, I guess you can't take it with you.
It's got to be strictly understood
you ain't making no effort to influence the sober judgment of the jury.
- Certainly not. - There you are.
- Compliments of the prisoner. - Jury to the rear!
Bull's-eye.
- Join me, Your Honor? - Don't mind if I do.
Don't spill none of that liquor, son. It eats right into the bar.
To the unfortunate lady with the bullet in her face.
The man that fired that bullet was hauled out of here feet first.
Any man that'd shoot at a picture of Lily Langtry ought to be killed.
It's just retribution. It's justifiable homicide,
Right.
You an admirer of Miss Lily's, too?
Well, that's putting it mildly.
She's the most beautiful woman I ever met.
Met?
You mean to tell me you met Lily Langtry, the real her, in the flesh?
What an actress.
How'd you get to know her?
Well, that's a long story, Judge.
Bart, you and Blackjack get yourself a drink, huh?
- Mighty fine liquor. What do you call it? - Rub of the brush. Go on.
- Did you get to know her real well? - It's got character.
I said, did you get to know her real well?
Now, Judge, you forget a gentleman never discusses a lady in a barroom.
Who said it's a barroom? This is a courtroom.
Say, tell me, is she as pretty as them pictures?
Why, the picture's never been made that can do justice to Lily Langtry.
Is she good-natured?
An angel.
- I'll never forget the night we met. - Yeah?
I'll never forget it as long as I live.
Who was that? Oh, that's Mort Borrow.
Go on about Lily.
Oh, yeah, Lily.
How about a verdict? Can't you see.
SOUTHEAST: Two aces. COWBOY 1: Bet a dollar and a half.
Get away from here. You smell of formaldehyde!
You been down around Lanno Bay, ain't you?
Well, you know how it is at sunset.
You can look out and that water ain't exactly blue, and it ain't exactly purple.
It's a kind of color a man can feel, but he can't put a name to.
Yeah.
Well, that's Lily's eyes.
By gobs!
COWBOY 1: I'm out. COWBOY 2: I'll stay out. Here we go.
COWBOY 3: Got 10. Got a nine.
You know how bright and coppery and gold-like
a young chestnut horse is running in the bright sun?
- Yeah. - Well, her hair is something like that.
In the daytime.
You mean it's different at night? Well, not different,
- How so? - Well...
Well, you know how it is at dusk when you see a prairie fire reflected in the sky.
A sort of a deep... A beautiful kind of blushing...
- Red? - Red.
- Well, that'll give you a rough idea. - By gobs.
I got a lock of her hair.
(JUDGE BEAN STUTTERS)
You mean to tell me you actually got the real... From her head?
I don't suppose you'd ever part with that lock of hair,
no matter what a man was willing to give?
A man don't trade things like that.
You see that sword up there?
I wore it in the civil war. Always meant to be buried with it.
Now, if you was willing to swap, why...
Would you really like to have it?
I'd rather own it than the state of Texas. Let's have a look at it.
I haven't got it with me.
Where's it at?
It's with my stuff in El Paso.
So, you was in the civil war, huh, Judge?
- El Paso, huh? - Yeah.
- Cavalry, huh? - I suppose you could write for it.
Yeah.
Wouldn't take long to get here by mail coach.
Oh, two, three weeks.
- Two or three weeks, huh? - Yeah, about.
But I wouldn't part with that lock of hair for anything in the world.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
The jury's ready, Judge.
JUDGE BEAN: That bottle of whiskey gone already?
Yeah, and if he ain't paid for it, you better start collecting now.
- What's the verdict? - You know what the verdict is. Guilty.
There's only one thing I can do.
You're sentenced to hang, that's my ruling.
- But, Judge, you just ruled... - I didn't finish my ruling.
The court sentenced the prisoner to hang,
but the court didn't say when. So long as there's reasonable doubt...
What reasonable doubt, Judge? We just caught him.
- Ain't any room for doubt. - Order!
I been talking to the prisoner. He's a friend of Lily Langtry's.
Stands to reason no friend of Lily Langtry goes around stealing horses.
Leastways, there's a reasonable doubt. You mean,
That ain't what I said. When I make a ruling, it stands.
But, Judge, you just sentenced the man. His sentence is suspended
for a couple weeks until I can look into the matter further.
- Hi, Mort. How's business? - Just lost a customer.
Well, I'll be down for a shave in a minute. All right, you're next.
- Howdy, Judge. - Hello, Evans.
Jersey Lily special.
Pardon me, you don't happen to have a twin brother, do you?
No, not me.
Well, you'd better pay me that money you owe me:
You're loco, brother. I don't owe you nothing.
$60.
If you're interested, that's the man that sold me the roan horse.
Then, he's the man that stole
$84 and 6 bits.
Fined $80 for disorderly conduct, and $4 and 6 bits.
Now, you men get some rope and string him up.
We hang horse thieves, don't we? String him up!
Come inside, son.
You can have his horse and outfit.
- Rub of the brush? - Rub of the brush.
- El Paso. - El Paso.
(SNORING)
(SNORING STOPS ABRUPTLY)
(SNORING RESUMES) (JUDGE BEAN MUMBLING)
(CLANKING)
Good morning, Judge.
Who are you?
Who are you? What are you doing here?
(JUDGE BEAN GRUNTING)
Stranger. Stranger, come here.
Straighten out my neck, would you? Grab a hold of my head.
Now, jerk it quick. (CLICK)
Thank you. It's my neck.
You see I was hung once, but my friends cut me down in time.
Now when I don't live right, why, the crick comes back on me.
(WHISTLING SOFTLY)
Now, who are you, anyhow? And what are you doing here?
Why, don't you remember?
Why, I'm the fellow that filled the inside straight,
So long, Judge.
Hey, Pete, are you glad I won you from Chickenfoot?
Well, that makes it nice.
Here.
Wait!
That lock of hair, Lily's hair,
you promised to write to El Paso for it. Don't you remember? We drank on it.
When are you going to do it?
Huh?
- You ain't going to crawfish? - No, the first post office I come to.
Straighten her out, would you, son?
Thank you.
You mangy old scorpion, you might have got us both killed.
(LAUGHING)
- What you want to go to California for? - See the Pacific Ocean.
It's just like the gulf down at Lanno Bay.
It's bigger.
Why don't you stay around Vinegarroon awhile?
We could have a lot of fun together. We could talk about Lily and...
Listen,
it's a great country here, west of the Pecos.
A fellow could really make something of himself.
Why, when I first come here, I didn't have nothing.
Well, that's mighty fine, Judge.
You know, I cottoned to you the first time I seen you.
Well, I tell you, Judge, it's nice of you to ask me,
but I'm heading for California, and nothing short of hanging can stop me.
Wait a minute. You can't go. You're under suspended sentence.
- Why, you hung Mr. Evans for that. - Huh?
Who are you? What do I know about you? How do I know they ain't looking for you?
You're under arrest for disorderly conduct, for disturbing the peace, vagrancy,
and you're on the way back to town with me, and that's my ruling!
By gobs, he stole my gun.
We hired out for farm work, Miss, not a civil war.
Land's no good when there's always lead flying over it.
If you'd shoot back, maybe they'd stop bothering you.
And so did Shad Wilkins, and he ain't trying it no more.
What about your own quarter section?
- If you leave, you'll lose it. - We don't want no part of it.
All right, Hod. If you feel that way,
we'll try to get along with just Eph and Henry.
Henry, if we only had one man, it'd be a big help.
Sorry, Mr. Mathews.
JANE ELLEN: Call themselves men.
Wade, what do we do?
- I know what to do. - No, no, wait. That's not the way.
Don't even think of it.
Wade, aren't you going to stay for supper?
I'll be back.
Well, they left.
Of course they have. What did you expect?
My hands quit, too. You can't blame them for leaving.
There won't be a hired man left in this part of the country
if we don't do something about it. We hire new hands,
What's old Mathews going to say about it? He keeps passing the buck
I say, let's do something about it ourselves.
- That's right. - That's what I like to hear.
Let's give the judge the same thing he gave Shad Wilkins.
Maybe if some of us went down and appealed to Roy Bean for justice...
Justice. If you'd seen him yesterday, pretending to try that prisoner...
- The man didn't have a chance. - I wonder if they hanged him.
He was the same as dead even while he stood there.
(EX CLAIMS)
What is it, Daughter? The man I told you about,
I saw him plain as day, looking in the window.
You're seeing things, Jane Ellen. There's nobody out there.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Come in.
Good evening.
Pardon me for intruding like this.
(STAMMERING) Oh, no, you're not. It's just... Well, I thought you were a ghost.
Well, I guess you're partly to blame I'm not.
- I just stopped in to thank you. - Father, this is Mister...
- Harden. - Welcome, Mr. Harden, welcome.
Glad to meet you.
Oh, Mr. Harden, this is our neighbor Wade Harper.
This is the man I told you about.
You mean to tell me Bean tried you, and let you go?
Well, she was my lawyer. I guess she's the one that got me off.
- I knew you weren't a horse thief. - Thanks.
How did you know that?
I just knew.
Are you working anywhere?
No, I'm heading for California.
Mr. Harden, I suppose a body that's just been hanged is apt to be a bit hungry.
You must stay for supper.
- Well, I don't want to put you out any. - Oh, no, not at all.
Matter of fact, we had some company that just disappointed us.
Uh-huh. We were hoping somebody'd show up to take their place.
Make yourself at home, now. Make yourself at home.
Wait till you sink your teeth into some of Jane Ellen's stew.
CALIPHET: Oh, Lord, for that which thou hast sent us in our hour of need,
make us truly grateful.
Bless this food to our use and ourselves to thy service. Amen.
Let me help you.
How about some hominy?
- Here, Wade. Give him some milk. - All right, all right.
I think he likes it here. I think we got him.
- What's he doing now? - Feeding his horse.
Wade, he could probably take the place of two men. He's so big and strong.
- Well, I don't know how strong he is. - Strong enough, Wade.
Now, Jane Ellen, we'll leave you alone with him,
and you kind of add on a little more welcome.
- What'll I say? - Oh, just keep smiling at him.
And, Daughter, if it should come up natural-like,
you might hint what a handsome man he is.
Handsome?
We need him terribly bad, Daughter. We got to get that corn husked.
We need him terribly bad.
Listen, your father don't mean for you to...
Shh.
- Everything all right, Mr. Harden? - Fine, thanks.
- Oh, don't trouble. - No trouble at all. Come on, Wade.
- Can I give you a hand? - Oh, no, thanks.
- Won't you sit down, please? - Well, I won't argue with you.
If I had to wash dishes, I guess I'd give up eating.
Well, what do you do about the dishes when you're home?
Well, you live in a house, don't you?
No. No, my house is all out there, all one room with a sky for a roof.
- Well, it's a big place. - Got some space to rent.
Well, I guess California's your next stop, huh?
California, but I don't stop. Oregon next, I guess.
Well, all places aren't just the same.
Wouldn't you rather stay a little longer in some places?
No, they're all the same, beautiful when you leave them.
Well, it's like the turtles. Carry their houses with them.
If I had to build me a house, I'd have it on wheels.
Not me. I'd want my house so that nothing could ever move it.
So down deep that an earthquake couldn't shake it,
and a cyclone would be just another wind going by.
Well, you say, "Who wants to be a turtle?"
And I say, "I hope you'll be very happy in your house."
- Well... - Oh, say, wait a minute.
What?
I'll bet I know something we could agree on.
Well, in about a week now, we're going to husk the corn,
and I'll bet you'll agree that that's fun. (EX CLAIMS QUESTIONINGLY)
Well, you know, I think husking corn's the greatest fun in the world.
- Husking corn, fun? - Oh, yes!
- Well, I'd rather wash dishes. - Oh, no.
It was a fine supper, and good cooking.
Oh, Mr. Harden.
What a handsome man you are.
(SIGHS)
I doubt that, but I'm a tired one. Well, I hope I see you.
Get out of here! Hey!
If anybody'd told me yesterday I'd be playing tag in a cornfield.
If we had some men that would ride fence, there wouldn't be any cows.
You were sure cute last night.
Now you're making fun of me. Well, that's...
Hey, look at your father. I wonder what's up.
I tried to stop them. They wouldn't listen to me.
Yes, yes. It's the wrong and lawless thing to do.
- I begged them not to. I told them. - Who? What happened?
Wade Harper has rounded up some of the men.
- When did they leave? - About an hour ago.
Thunder and lightning! You back from California already?
You got to get out of here, and don't stop for nothing.
Did you write to El Paso?
Listen, just get on your horse and get, because they're after you.
Did you write? Who's after me?
The homesteaders. They're going to string you up.
They're outside right now, a whole wagonload of them.
A wagonload? Why, I can handle a train load of them.
I'll tear their livers out.
What'll it be, gentlemen? It'll be Roy Bean. Where is he?
He's out for a while.
That's because you came down here and warned him.
Make a move and I'll kill you.
Cole, start collecting them shotguns,
uncork them rifles now and set them down this end of the bar,
Go on.
Get back. Get back.
Now, I'll take yours, Judge.
The drinks are on me, gentlemen.
We're not drinking with you, Harden, nor him, either.
I ain't serving none of my liquor to no bunch of tomato-kissing,
- plow-pushing... - Now, Judge,
we don't want any harsh words to spoil this friendly little get-together.
JUDGE BEAN: Get-together?
Why, this pack of weasels invade the dignity of my courtroom,
come in here armed with malice aforethought to kick up a rumpus...
Now, look, you being a judge, you know there's always two sides to any question.
These men have come here with a legitimate grievance.
We're not asking you to speak for us, Harden.
Well, that makes it unanimous. I'm going to talk for the both of you.
There's a law here against fencing land
that seems nothing short of murder to people raising crops,
but it's common sense to men running cattle.
I've seen this kind of war before. It's happening now,
The cattlemen came in first, then the homesteaders moved in.
They had crops for one year, and then a dry spell, drought,
so the homesteaders moved out, and the rush and thistle.
And the big spaces were all broken up by little quarter sections,
and the homesteads left empty,
and the houses caved in, and the land, no good for man or cattle.
You spoiled the land, then you came here to spoil this land.
Yea, but it ain't big enough for cattlemen and homesteaders, and it never will be.
Now, clear out here. That's my ruling.
All right, Bean, we're going.
We're going back to build our fences.
If you do, you better build coffins along with them. Now, get.
You sure told them off, son.
Yep, and now I'm going to tell you off. I'm sorry I stopped them.
They got a right to defend their homesteads.
You know this ain't homestead land. You just said so yourself.
- The government didn't say so. - I'm the government here.
Judas Priest, I don't see how you can talk up for scum like that.
They proved up on their land, and they got deeds to it.
When you make war on them, you're making war.
Those people were starved out last year.
I heard about those cattle being stampeded over their crops,
and there's too many strays running loose in that valley right now,
only they're not strays.
What do you want me to do? Arrest them cattle,
and fine them a couple dollars apiece for trespass?
Now, look,
those people don't take up much room with their little shirt-sized pieces of land.
Why don't you be a real judge for all of the people?
Why don't you try to see their side of it, and help them instead of fight them?
Make peace around here instead of war.
There's plenty of room for everybody, then everybody'd look up to you.
And then someday, maybe they'd put up a statue out there in the street,
a statue with a carving on it. "To Roy Bean, the real judge."
What are you doing? Catching a fish?
I guess I'm wasting my time. Hold on, wait a minute.
- No! - You promised. We drank on it.
I didn't have to write it. I had it on me all the time.
You did? Well, why didn't you give it to me then?
You old bullhead, if I'd have given it to you, you'd have hung me.
I might've at that. Let's have a look at it.
I haven't got it with me.
Suffering, bleeding Chickamauga! Where's it at?
- How is she? - Huh?
- I'll ride right over with you. - No, no.
You mean you're gonna crawfish? You ain't going to give it to me?
- Sure, I'll give it to you. - When?
When the last steer's out of the valley.
All right, I'll pass the word around to the boys.
No, you don't. You're going to help run those cattle out,
and I'm going along with you to see that it's done.
Don't you trust me, Cole?
When I was a kid, I had a pet rattlesnake.
I was fond of it, but I wouldn't turn my back on it.
(LAUGHING)
You're all right.
I'm going back now, and gathering my stuff for the roundup.
- And that lock of hair. - Yeah, yeah, the lock of hair.
WADE: He defended Bean. He said he was right.
Said the homesteaders spoiled this land for the cattlemen. We all heard it.
JANE ELLEN: I don't care what you heard. He couldn't be two-faced.
If he took Bean's part, he only did it to stop trouble.
Looks like every time I get into trouble, you always speak up for me.
They're trying to tell me you spoke up for Bean.
Well, I did try to tell them Bean's point of view.
There you are.
It's always been my experience
that when you know the other fellow's point of view, you usually get together.
Well, why didn't you tell him our point of view?
You won't have to patrol your fields any longer.
Judge gave me his word they'd round up all cattle in this valley
and take them out of here. (WADE SCOFFS)
You think he'd keep his word?
Well, I'm going along with him to see that he does.
Well, what makes you think we'd take your word?
Take it or leave it.
Harden,
you're a sneak and a liar.
(COUGHING)
Miss Mathews!
I'll be back.
California's that way.
I got something to tell you before I go.
- Well? - How's Wade?
He's fine, just fine.
You know, you're not the prettiest girl I ever saw.
Well, that's great news. Who asked you?
But you've got the prettiest hair I ever saw.
Why do you like to make fun of me?
'Cause I like you, I guess.
- And you think my hair's pretty, huh? - I never saw anything like it.
- Oh, could I clip a lock? - No, you can't.
- Will you clip one? - No, I won't.
Come around here, take sides with Bean,
and knock out my best friend, and...
Tell you how much I like you,
and how much I might miss you?
- All right? - No.
Here, these are yours.
Well, thanks a lot.
WADE: Jane Ellen!
Go on, Cole. Go on.
Well, so I says to her... I said, "Miss Langtry",
"do you plan to go back to England when you finish your American tour?"
And she said to me... She said,
"No." Said she loved the United States too much.
- Yeah? - She planned to stay here.
She told me that when she got all through her work in the theater,
that she wanted to settle down some place out here in the West.
Some quiet little place way out on the range,
away from all the lights and the crowds.
She kept asking about Texas especially.
She says that ever since she was a little girl, she'd heard about Texas,
and it'd always been the dream of her life to have a home here someday.
- She did? - She did.
Last herd just come in, Judge.
Well?
Huh?
Oh.
By gobs!
A lock of her own hair!
It's kind of dark, ain't it?
Yeah, she uses lots of shampoo on her hair.
It's beautiful. Beautiful.
I'll never forget this, Cole. Never.
- Let me see it, will you? - What for?
I ain't going to keep it.
I'd like to see you try.
- All right? - All right.
I know how you feel, son.
CALIPHET: Almighty God, we offer thee thanksgiving for thy help.
Thou has poured thy blessings on our land.
Thou hast visited the Earth and made it plenteous.
Thou hast made it soft with drops of rain,
and the land that was desolate has become like a garden,
and the waste places are become fenced and are inhabited.
Thou hast made the tree of the field yield her fruit,
and the Earth, her increase.
Thou hast broken the bonds of our yoke and delivered us out of the hands
so that we shall dwell here safely, and none shall make us afraid,
and for this, thy divine bounty, Oh, Lord, we thank thee. Amen.
- HOMESTEADERS: Amen. - Amen.
(SINGING) One foot up and the other foot down.
- JANE ELLEN: Here it is. - What?
Tell me something first.
Where do you keep my lock of hair?
Oh, uh...
Show me.
Nobody can see that, not even you.
Look, Cole, the best piece of homestead land in the whole country.
It used to belong to one of the hired men that left us,
and now it's anybody's. You just claim it.
Yeah, that's a fine piece of land all right.
Yeah, look at the feed on those slopes over there,
and that strip along the bottom is just fine for wheat or corn.
And, Cole, look, that little knoll right there,
it's just begging for a house.
- Do you know how to build a house? - No, how?
Well, you... You...
Well, you have the kitchen there,
and the bedroom over there, and the living room right in the middle.
It would have to have the right things in it, too.
What sort of things?
Oh, fires and lamplights, warm beds,
the smell of coffee in the morning, the sound of rain on the roof.
Gee, that's a nice house, Jane Ellen.
Jane!
Look!
FARMER: Go to your homes! Protect your houses!
We'll take a section of rail fence and knock down a strip of corn.
Maybe we can start a backfire.
Take the two end sections, Wade!
WADE: Cole! Cole! Cole!
Hey, get out of here! Move!
Look, the house!
(JANE ELLEN SCREAMS) Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Father!
Help! Help!
FARMER: Come on, hurry up!
- Watch out for his leg and shoulder. - FARMER: All right.
- FARMER: Take it easy. - Have you seen Jane Mathews?
So I hereby christen this town Langtry!
No man ever gave a woman a whole town afore, but I'm doing it,
and from now on, this whole section's going to bloom like the Jersey Lily herself!
Quiet! I ain't through yet.
Miss Langtry's coming soon to play a night in Fort Davis,
and I want every legal resident of Langtry, Texas,
to go over and see the godmother of this here town,
a town of cattlemen, for cattlemen, and by gobs, run by cattlemen!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Now, in honor of this great occasion, I'm dishing out free beer to one and all,
and anybody found sober after sundown
is liable to arrest for disorderly conduct, and that's my ruling!
Start the music!
(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)
JANE ELLEN: "And man that is born of woman has but a short time to live."
"He cometh up and is cut down like a flower."
"He fleeth as if it were a shadow, and never continueth in one stay."
"In the midst of life, we are in death."
The wagon train's left. The people have all gone, Jane Ellen.
I'm staying. Nobody's going to drive me away from my land,
not with cattle, or fire, or killing my father, or anything else.
I'll be here long after Bean and his gang of murderers are gone.
Sure you will, and me, too.
I don't want you.
I don't want any of Roy Bean's friends around.
Wade Harper was right. I didn't believe it then, but I do now.
You knew we were going to be burned out. That's why you herded all the cattle out,
so they wouldn't be burned with our crops.
No, I don't need your help. Not now.
I can do what I have to do alone.
I'll be back.
(SOBBING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Why, Cole!
By gobs, man, I'm glad to see you.
Why, I never wanted to see a man so much before in my life.
- What for? - What for?
Don't you know what for? She's coming to Fort Davis.
- Lily Langtry's coming to Fort Davis. - Langtry?
Langtry, yeah, and you and me are going over there together.
You're going to introduce me to her. By gobs, I'm going to meet her.
- I just can't believe it. - I want to talk to you, Judge.
Yeah, all right. And look what I got to tell her when I see her.
Langtry, that's the name of this town, a great town after a great woman.
- I said I wanted to talk to you, Judge. - Sure.
Cole, it's a great day. I tell you, it's the greatest day.
- Some fire, huh? - Yeah, wasn't it, though?
- Yeah, too bad. - Yeah.
Yep.
- I wonder who was behind it? - Oh, a fire don't need nothing behind it.
Fire has a way of moving on its own. Here's how.
Before I drink with you, Judge, I want to know you had nothing to do with it.
Me? Why, how can you say a thing like that?
Wasn't I right here in the saloon when the fire broke out?
Well, I was, and what's more, I ain't got no idea who done it.
Now, drink up.
- Don't you believe me? - No.
Now, listen, son, I told you how it was, and I don't want you calling me no liar.
Now, drink hearty.
Will you swear by that?
There ain't no reason I should, but I'm willing.
All right, I swear by my sword there I had nothing to do with it.
I swear by the revised statutes. By gobs, if there was a Bible in town I'd...
Where's that lock of hair?
- Right here with me. - Let me see it.
Swear on that?
All right, it was me. I burned their houses and crops.
- I run them varmints out. - Nice going.
If you think I'm sorry, you're crazy. I'm proud and glad I rid.
It was either them or us, and now the range grass will grow back,
and some day, the cattlemen will put up a statue of me
out there on the street, and they'll write on it,
"Judge Roy Bean, he give us back the land."
You get warrants in Fort Davis, don't you?
Yeah, that's where they get them,
but they don't know how to spell my name.
- It's been tried before. - I'll get one.
This time, you're going to get what's coming to you, Judge.
Cole!
You and me's friends. I done what I had to, and you think it was wrong.
But if it was my own son come over here with a warrant,
I aim to be, unless I get it in the back before I get out of here.
So long, Cole.
Make out a warrant against Roy Bean.
Raise your right hand.
Do you solemnly swear to carry out the duties of deputy sheriff
in Jeff Davis County in the state of Texas?
Thanks, Sheriff.
How much are tickets? $2 apiece, all over the house.
- How many seats in the house? - Four hundred.
- I'll take them. - How many?
Much obliged.
MAN: Let me have two tickets.
If I was you, Judge, I wouldn't set foot in Fort Davis to see Adam and Eve.
BLACK JACK: Me, either. JUDGE BEAN: A deputy's star makes.
How you know you're not heading into a trap?
Sure looking for trouble, going over to Fort Davis.
Taking an awful chance, Judge. Them hombres.
Why, you pack of yellow bellies, give me them tickets.
You mean, you're going to Fort Davis alone?
You're all going with me as a guard of honor,
right up to the opera house, but I'm going in alone.
I don't want nobody in there with me no how.
Now, come on, we got a day's ride ahead of us.
I'm going to dress, and you fellows proud yourselves up a bit.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
I ain't wore this uniform since Chickamauga,
but it still fits right smart.
MAN 1: Bean and his men are coming! Get off the street!
Bean and his men are coming!
MAN 2: Bean's coming! Bean's coming!
JUDGE BEAN: Hey, look!
They must have heard I was coming.
All right, boys, take your places.
Hey, this is the stage entrance.
Now, remember, I want strict privacy all during the show.
Third seat in.
- Pardon, sir, your seat is back here. - No, it ain't. It's right here.
Say, when does Miss Langtry go on the play?
Right after the curtain. She's about to go up now, sir.
- Go up? - The curtain, sir.
Now?
Yes, now.
Now.
(ORCHESTRA PLAYING OVERTURE)
Don't make a move, Judge. I'm coming down to get you.
Come shooting.
(GUN FIRING)
- The war's on. - Yeah.
- I bet the judge is having a good time. - Yeah.
(GUN FIRING)
Hey!
Let's you and me stand up and shoot it out.
That suits me, Judge.
JUDGE BEAN: Put up your gun. We'll draw.
COLE: All right.
- Ready? - Yeah.
Now, you see what you done?
You stopped the show.
I was going to see Lily.
Now it's too late.
No, it isn't, Judge.
She's back there now, waiting to see you.
What?
She knows all about you, Judge. She wants to meet you.
Come on, let's go back and see her.
My hat.
Where's Miss Langtry?
Put me down. I can walk.
Put me down, I tell you. That's my ruling.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Miss Langtry, I'd like to present an old admirer. Judge Roy Bean.
I'm pleased to meet you.
(GASPING)
(THUD)
Cole, come here quick!
Look!
See, what did I tell you? They're coming back.
Wagons by the score.
It's the promised land.
Jane Ellen,
Someday, Texas is going to be the biggest and the finest...