怎么了 What?
-失陪下 -宝贝 不不不 - Just a sec. - No, baby, no, no, no!
在被窝里放吧 Just do it here. Come on.
如果你现在出去了 就不回来了 You won't get back in if you get out now.
说真的 安东尼 让我走 Seriously, Anthony, let me go.
我快憋不住了 It's going to come out on its own!
不 你必须学着来 No, you have to learn.
安东尼 我要打你了 Anthony, I'm going to hit you.
待在床上 Stay in the bed!
把屁股伸到床边去 放了就完了 Just put your bum out over the edge and just let it go.
拜托 就是个屁 Please. It's just a fart.
天呐 Oh, my God.
好害羞 别看我 It's shy now. Don't look at me.
你很美 You're beautiful.
天啊 Oh, God.
好极了 Excellent.
-那是... -天呐 出去 - Was that... - Oh, my God. Get out.
天啊 Oh, my god.
-天啊 你刚刚是... -别看它 - Oh, my God, did you just... - Don't look!
别看 出去 Stop it! Get out!
宝贝 是块油毡 是块油毡 Baby, it's lino, it's lino!
原创翻译 双语字幕
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情 迷 意 乱
第一季 第四集
情 迷 意 乱
第一季 第四集
我帮不了你 除非你告诉我发生了什么 I can't help you unless you tell me what happened.
唯一重要的细节是她生我的气了 The only significant detail is that she's annoyed with me
原因完全不是我的错 for something that wasn't in any way my fault.
但有可能是你的错 But it probably was your fault
干嘛不改改臭习惯 主动道歉呢 so why don't you break a habit of a lifetime and apologize?
-你还留着我弗兰克福特的上衣吗 -对 - Do you still have my Frankfurter shirt? - Yes.
说一句对不起 不非得是真心的 Just say you're sorry. You don't have to mean it.
-换床罩真的很复杂 -翻个面就行了 - This is really complicated. - Just turn it inside out.
而且死不道歉的人是你 And you're the one who can never apologize.
你把我的T恤怎么了 What the hell have you done to my T-shirt?
是我的T恤 而且我总道歉 My T-shirt. And I'm always apologising.
翻译 克里斯 Santolalla 冬影
大家真每个月都换一次床罩吗 Do people really do this every month?
你能跟我解释下你穿的是什么吗 Can you explain to me what you are wearing, please?
校对 克里斯 Eunice
是连体衣 很时髦 It's a onesie, it's very chic.
-告诉我怎么回事 -你看着像个小屁孩 - Tell me what happened. - Well, you look like a child.
谢谢 告诉我怎么回事 Thank you. Tell me what happened.
时间轴 想念Gallifrey的Wholock
你说我不道歉是怎么回事 What do you mean about me not apologising...
-老天 翻个面就行了 -好的 好的 - Jesus, just turn it inside out! - Oh, OK, OK, OK, OK.
后期 雷鸣
好了 Ok.
总监 克里斯
告诉我发生了什么 Just tell me what happened
我就告诉你是不是你的错 and I'll tell you if it was your fault.
拜托 我穿着连体衣要恐慌症发作了 Well, come on. I'm getting panicky in my onesie.
我再也不要告诉你什么事了 I'm not telling you anything ever again.
你到最后会传遍整个医院 You just end up telling the whole hospital.
这是误会 That was a misunderstanding.
而且你应该像我那样道歉 你个混球 And you should have apologised like I did, you arsehole.
我不会开玩笑 或者告诉别人 I won't take the piss or tell anyone,
我保证 I promise.
她... She was...
放屁中途 Doing a fart
变成了屎 掉在了床边 and it turned into a poo over the side of the bed.
而她责怪我 And she's blaming me
因为我不让她下床放那个屁 because I wouldn't let her out of the bed to do the fart.
如果你在笑 我就掐死你 If you're laughing, I'm going to suffocate you.
你在笑 你在笑 You're laughing. You're laughing!
我没在笑 I'm not laughing!
把四个角给我 把四个角给我 Give me the corners, just give me the corners!
想要拉屎 Tried to do a poo!
你跟管理处说门的事了吗 Did you tell management about your door?
-管理处 -对 注册登记的地方 - Management? - Yeah, when you registered.
注册登记 Registered?
抱歉 抱歉 I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
抱歉 抱歉 抱歉 I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
请原谅我 Oh, please forgive me.
原来是你 So, it's you.
是紧急情况 It's an emergency
而且这是我第一次这么干 and this is the first time I've done it.
科林走了 Colin has gone.
去看牙医了 To the dentist.
-他会回来的 -万一不回来了呢 - He'll come back. - What if he doesn't?
我他妈要画什么 What the hell am I supposed to paint?
科凯地产
这是我们目前手头最棒的一间房 So, this is the sexiest property we have on our books.
两张床 一个厨房 几面墙 大窗户 Two beds, one kitchen, bunch of walls, big window.
淋浴水压很足 And the shower has excellent pressure.
便宜不等人啊 朋友 A screaming bargain, mate.
-房主呢 他们... -在伊维萨岛 - What about the owners, are they... - In Ibiza.
梅子干 Ooh, a prune!
-想吃点啥吗 -不用了 - Do you want anything? - No, I'm good.
谢谢你大周末带我来看房 Hey, thanks for sneaking me in on a weekend.
我欠你个大人情 I really owe you one.
那个小贱人的朋友就是我的朋友 Friend of the little bitch is a friend of mine.
伙计们 Guys!
抱歉我迟到了 I'm sorry I'm late.
这地方不错 这地方不错吧 This is a nice place! Is this a nice place?
悠着点 伙计们 Smooth, guys.
瞧瞧这地方 Whoa, look at this place!
有台面 壁脚板 橱柜还有... Surfaces and skirting boards and cupboards and...
烤箱 An oven!
你能相信真有人住这样的房子吗 Can you believe people actually live like this?
我知道 很棒吧 I know, it's super cute, eh?
所以 So...
吃午饭吗 Lunch?
真的很感谢你帮我插队 谢谢 I really appreciate you bumping me up. Thank you.
一名守护人能加快其他守护人的申请流程 A guardian can fast-track another guardian.
这能维护社区的荣誉感 It keeps the community-feel strong.
-确实 -确实 - Indeed. - Indeed.
好了 你清楚如果露易丝出状况 OK, you are aware that if Louise does make a tit of herself,
你作为推荐人是要承担责任吧 you will be accountable for her as her referee?
明白 她不会让我失望的 I am. She will not let me down.
好极了 Great.
那么把所有文件材料和押金交给我吧 Now, if we can have all your documents and the deposit.
不好意思 什么 I'm sorry, what?
恐怕你得预付押金 I'm afraid we need the money up front.
恐怕我没钱 I'm afraid I don't have any money.
我现在就需要这笔钱 Well, I need the money now.
这个名单上 There are a lot of people
有许多人能掏出这笔钱 on this waiting list who do have the money.
你能等几个小时吗 Can you hold on for a couple of hours?
你去筹钱吗 可以 For the money? Yes.
我只是想要这笔钱 我的主管也非常想 I just want the money and my superiors want the money very much.
主 楼
你有什么具体的创作方向吗 Are you working towards anything in particular?
最近看了什么好电影吗 Seen any good films recently?
你能把上衣脱了吗 Can you take your top off?
-为什么 -这样更好 - Why? - It's just better.
不 抱歉 之前没说要脱衣服 No. Sorry, that wasn't the agreement.
我不... 这不... I'm not... That's not...
我不习惯脱掉... 裸上身 I'm not comfortable taking my... Being naked.
我明白艺术讲究淡化性特征 I understand the whole desexualised art thing, yes.
但就是... 不行 But I'm just... No.
不行 OK... No.
没问题 D'accord.
我知道我不该在意 这种情况下不必 I mean, I know I shouldn't care, not in this situation...
但我讨厌我的身体 我希望能有那种自信 But, I hate my body and I wish I had the sort of body confidence
光着身子随便往那一瘫 但就是... to just drape myself all over everything, but it's just, well...
不是说我不... 不行 It's not like I don't think I'm... No.
你讨厌你的身体 You hate your body?
当然了 大家都讨厌 Of course I do. Everybody does.
大家都讨厌你的身体 Everyone hates your body?
不 可能是吧 如果他们诚实的话 No, I mean... Well, probably, if they were honest,
我就不是那种人 I just... I'm not the sort of person to just,
爽快地把上衣一脱 you know, take my top off
一点不在意 and then not care that my top was off.
我不会这么做 I would just never do that.
胸罩我就留着了 I'm leaving my bra on.
没问题 D'accord.
准备好让我画你了吗 Ready for me to paint you?
别吸气 Don't breathe.
科 凯 地 产
别打自己了 牙签屌 Stop hitting yourself, poodle dick!
停不下来 没力气了 Can't stop it, haven't got the energy.
你失控了 快停下 停下 You are out of control. Stop it, stop it!
天啊 快住手 Oh, my God. Stop.
你们太有趣了 You guys are just too funny.
这房子出售多久了 So, how long's this been on the market, then?
有28年了吧 I'd say about 28 years.
存储空间这么小 I mean, there's minimal storage space
还有几个发臭的角落 and there's a couple of smelly corners,
但因为随房附赠这个小混蛋 所以完全值得 but it's worth it for the little willy that comes with it.
你在做什么 What's on the menu?
我旅途中学会的一点菜式 Just a little something I picked up on my travels.
-他做饭非常好吃 -太棒了 - He is a really good cook. - Oh, coolio.
他还会自己买些小公司 He also buys himself small companies
让他们更壮大 更具有商业价值 and makes them stronger and more commercially viable.
这么厉害 Well, that's impressive.
你说得好像我做慈善一样 You make it sound like I work for a charity.
是的 他在闲暇时非常乐善好施 Oh, yeah, he's a Samaritan when he's got the spare time.
真棒 Cool.
别说了 真的 说得我好像傻缺一样 Stop it! Really. Makes me sound like a knobber.
别告诉他报刊的事 Don't tell him about the paper.
弗雷德 Fred?
对了 他还为金融报刊写专栏 Oh, yeah, he also writes a column for a financial paper.
而且他还会烘焙 And, and he bakes!
谁不喜欢家里自制的面包呢 Well, hey, who doesn't love a home-made bun?
其实我个人不怎么喜欢吃碳水 Not big on carbs actually, myself.
-小混球 把我的包拿来 -好的 - Hey, shitty tits, get my bag. - OK.
言辞注意一点 Don't say anything inappropriate.
-把屌掏出来 -什么 - Get your cock out. - What?
我听见了 I heard that!
只是个测试 It was a test!
你通过了 You passed.
勉强通过 Just.
好了 你们两个无赖 开饭了 All right, you muckers, grub's up.
-准备好了吗 -好了 - OK. Ready? - Yeah.
-别离开房间 -一言为定 - No leaving the room. - Deal.
进去 散发魅力 拿钱 出来 In. Charm. Get the money. Out.
简单 我们绝对没问题 Easy. We're going to nail it.
-只要别喝... -金糊 我知道 - Just don't drink... - The Golden Goo. I know.
-露露 -格拉迪斯阿姨 - Lulu! - Aunt Gladys!
你真美 You are a vision.
还有安东尼 真难得 And Anthony, what a treat!
小礼物 Little pressie!
你们俩快进来 我有好多酒给你们喝 Well, come on in, you two. I have drinks to drown you in.
科凯地产 待售
你打算买下来吗 So, you going to put an offer in?
我会考虑的 是的 I'll think about it, sure.
你有时间吗 Hey, have you got a second?
-现在吗 -是的 - Like, now? - Yeah.
-有时间 -多谢了 哥们 - Yeah. - Thanks, man.
你和弗雷德说话的方式很不好 It's not cool how you talk to Fred.
叫他"婊子" "牙签屌"或者"小奶头"之类的 Calling him "Bitch" and "Pencil prick" and "Freaky tits."
我不是犯浑 我知道只是玩笑 I'm not a gaping arsehole. I know it's just for laughs,
但这种玩笑实际上是有害的 but that sort of language is actually pretty insidious.
我只是觉得你该稍微控制一点 I just think you should just dial it down a bit,
免得真的伤害到他 before it starts making a dent.
你是个聪明人 你知道我什么意思 You're a smart guy, you know what I mean.
该死 抱歉 Shit, I'm sorry.
当然 我从没有... Yeah, of course. I've never...
-从没这样想过 -多谢了 哥们 - Never thought of it like that. - Thanks, man.
-我就知道你会理解的 -当然 - I knew you'd get it. - Sure.
大家都还开心吗 Everyone happy?
从没更高兴过了 大黑菊 Never happier, cummy bum.
天啊 Oh, God!
-回家吗 -好的 - Home-time? - OK.
这一瓶超级猛 This one is a real goer.
我在丝绸之路上找到的 I found it on the Silk Road.
亚洲吗 In Asia?
不 不 不 No, no, no.
是个暗网 It's a dark Internet.
可怕的地方 什么都有卖的 Awful place, all sorts of things for sale,
但偶尔会有好东西 but the occasional delight.
-来一口 -不了 多谢 - Sip it. - Oh, no, thanks.
-来一口 -我们真的不能待太久 - Sip it! - Uh, we really can't stay long.
拜托 亲爱的 Oh, please sip it, darling.
你们能来我真的太开心了 I'm just so touched you popped round.
这年头没人会无缘无故来拜访了 No-one ever just pops round for no reason these days.
当然 Sure.
实际上 我有点事要跟你说 I was actually going to ask you for something...
别说钱 Don't say money.
拜托 Please.
我受不了 I couldn't bear it.
第十杯 为了我们未来十年的生活 干杯 And ten for ten more years of life ahead. Chin-chin!
好了 那必须是最后一杯了 OK! Now, that has to be the last one,
你这个小淘气 you naughty thing, you.
亲爱的 你穿的到底是什么 Darling, what is this that you're wearing?
-简直可笑 -是连体衣 - It's ridiculous. - It's a onesie.
太美了 It's divine!
但从哪儿开呢 But where does it open?
这衣服怎么穿 And how does one get in?
想脱下来一定很费劲吧 Isn't it a nightmare to get it off?
不 不 我有诀窍 Nope. No, I've got the knack.
说实话 我几秒就能脱下来 阿姨 Honestly I can have it off in seconds, Auntie.
这些是小纽扣吗 Are these little poppers?
所以... 我最近怎么样 So yeah, what's... What's up with me?
我在餐厅上班 I'm working in a restaurant.
你终于谈恋爱了吗 So are you finally in a relationship?
是的 Well, yeah...
露露总是说你们俩最终会在一起的 Lulu always said you would end up together.
住一起 Living together.
最终会住一起 End up living together.
瞧我这张嘴 Have I said a whoopsie?
算了 Oh, never mind.
我终于遇到我的另一半了 I have actually met someone.
-我们订婚了 -真好 - We're engaged. - Oh! How lovely!
她长什么样子 身材很好吗 What does she look like? Is she a curvy girl?
不 她很瘦 No. She's slim.
是吗 Is she?
小鸟依人那种 是吗 Sticky little thing, is she?
娇小型吗 她个子很小吗 Petite? Is she a tiny little thing?
她很聪明 She's very smart.
那她是个小肥猪吗 So is she a porker, then?
真好 Oh, lovely!
亲爱的 这件衣服 Oh, darling, this outfit!
我真喜欢 I simply love it!
听我说 阿姨 我们真的... Listen, Auntie, we really...
我最好的朋友今早死了 My best friend died this morning.
洗手间在哪儿来着 Where is the toilet again?
当然 Oh, yes.
在楼梯的最上面 It's at the very, very, very, very top of the stairs.
-你可能会耽误好一会 -好的 - You might be some time. - Yup.
抱歉 亲爱的 I'm sorry, darling.
你们俩最终总会在一起的 You two will come to each other eventually.
我能借点钱吗 Can I borrow some money?
只是... It's just...
你回顾你的一生... You go through your whole life...
然后你拉在了男朋友的地板上 And then you shit on your boyfriend's floor.
他喜欢吗 Did he like it?
世事难料 每个人都有奇怪的癖好 You never know. Everyone finds something weird sexy.
你觉得什么性感 What do you find sexy?
我都快想不起来我为什么有阴道了 I can hardly remember why I've got a vagina.
-你们不做爱吗 -不 我们做 只是... - You guys don't have sex? - No, we do, just...
下面很少会有反应 The downstairs response is rare
而且很特定的情况下才会高潮 and very specifically prompted.
你觉得它想要什么 What do you think it wants?
你想要什么 What do you want?
天啊 Jesus!
我们看看 她会不会回答我们 Let's see if she gets back to us.
你喜欢做爱吗 Do you like sex?
这问题真傻 Silly question.
是吗 Is it?
你还好吗 Are you all right?
这里有洗手间能让她用一下吗 Do you have a toilet she could use, please?
她不会用太久的 She won't be long.
不 不 不 No, no, no, no.
让我出来 Let me out!
不好意思 Excuse me.
什么事 Yeah.
好的 再见 OK. Bye.
失陪一下 Excuse me.
你为什么想要成为地产守护人 Why do you want to be a property guardian?
是的 Yes.
好吧 Ok.
钱带来了吗 押金 Have you got the money? The deposit?
你们收现金吗 Do you take cash?
是钱都收 有钱就成 Any money. Just the money would be great.
把钱给他吧 露 Just give him the money, Lu.
我不相信他 I don't trust him.
棒 守护人计划谢谢你的参与 Great. Thank you for joining the guardian programme.
我看你是个完美的候选人 You seem like the perfect candidate.
你好美 You're so beautiful.
嗯 Oui.
你是怎么做到这么自信的 How are you so confident?
我妄自菲薄又没什么用 Well, it's not useful to anyone for me to be ashamed of myself.
他们想让我们厌恶自己的身体 They want us to hate our bodies.
以此来控制我们 It's how they control us.
-天哪 -赞 - Oh, my God. - Super!
我靠 你奶子也太美了 Oh, fuck off, they're amazing!
现在我简直更郁闷了 I'm even more depressed than ever now.
你真的喜欢科林吗 Do you really like Colin?
-当然了 -为什么 - Of course. - Why?
因为他已经了无生趣了 Because he's given up.
这让你着迷吗 And that's attractive to you?
对 Right.
他只想要平凡和安生 He just wants to be small and good and...
这让他伟大又美好 Because of that he is huge and beautiful.
每个人都想做大人物 Everyone wants to be big.
简直扯淡 It's bullshit.
而且他不想上我 我就爱这点 And he won't fuck me. Which I love.
你为什么喜欢安东尼 Why do you like Anthony?
还有红酒吗 Have you got any more wine?
有 Oui.
还有颜料吗 Have you got any more paint?
奶子脸 你在干什么 Yo, titty-face, what are you doing?
想给我按个摩吗 Do you want to give me a massage?
我给你买了特殊冰淇淋哦 I got your special ice cream.
我们在看《蓝色星球》 We're watching Blue Planet.
-鲸鱼真是太神奇了 -鲸鱼真是太神奇了 - The whales are extraordinary. - Whales are extraordinary.
它们是强大的生物 Oh, they're powerful creatures.
弗雷德 你在吃普通冰淇淋吗 Fred, are you eating normal ice cream?
他不能吃普通冰淇淋 He shouldn't be eating normal ice cream.
我给他买的是无糖的 I've got him the sugar-free variety.
我有不少患糖尿病的朋友 所以... I've got quite a few friends who are diabetic so...
当然了 Sure.
所以我知道要去哪买味道好的 So I know where to get the good stuff.
你要尝点吗 Do you want to try some?
不用了 那种冰淇淋就是奶油少了点 Nah, no. That stuff's just a little less creamy.
萨姆 要一起看吗 Hey, Sam. You want to join?
什么声音 What was that?
别担心 Don't worry,
-我来看看是什么 -我来确保我们的安全 - I'll find out what that is! - I'll make sure we're safe!
这不是遇险的尖叫 That's not a danger scream.
是快活的尖叫 That's a jovial scream.
拜托别告诉她我抽烟了 Please don't tell her I'm smoking.
她不让我看她的身体 She doesn't show me her body.
因为她褶子里藏着不能见人的小鸡鸡吗 Because of the secret willy she hides in the crease?
要是这么简单就好了 If it was only that simple.
她衣服要在被子里脱 屁要去走廊里放 She gets undressed under the duvet and she farts in the hall.
你就总在床上放屁 You've always farted in bed.
我现在就在放屁 I'm farting while I'm saying this.
我就是希望她能放开点 调侃一下自己 I just wish she'd let go a bit, you know, laugh at herself a bit.
我就是希望她能更... Just wish she was more...
真挺臭的 是吧 That really smells, doesn't it?
我从没闻过这么恶心的味道 That's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted.
谢谢 Thank you.
对不起 I am sorry
指责你想上萨姆的事 我没向你道歉 that I didn't say sorry about accusing you of trying to fuck Sam.
我想上谁就上谁 I can fuck who I like.
不行 得经过我的同意 No, you can't. I have to have approval.
-去你妈的 -去你妈的 - Fuck you! - Fuck you!
真的 去你妈的 No, really, fuck you.
今晚别睡 一起大醉一场吧 Can we stay up all night and get really drunk together, please?
好 Yes!
你知道我们俩最悲剧的是什么吗 You know what the greatest tragedy about us is?
我的鼻子 My nose?
不是 No.
你更像个女孩 That you'd make a much better girl
而我更像个男孩 and I'd make a much better boy?
不是 No.
你永远不知道什么时候该闭嘴 是吧 You never know when to shut up, do you?
派对 Party!
我操 凯特会发飙的 Shit. Kate's going to flip!
他们在干什么 What are they doing?
-宝贝 -你上身怎么光着 - Baby! - Why are you topless?
我在放飞自我 你怎么光着 I'm being free. Why are you?
不如一起光吧 Why aren't we all?
来啊 Come on!
你完了 You did not just do that.
-你 -别惹我顶你屁股 - You! - Stop making me bum you!
科林 Colin!
淘气科林 Naughty Colin!
别跑 淘气 No! Naughty!
科林 你给我马上回来 Colin! You come back now!
科林 Colin!
-小心点 -你去哪了 - Careful. - Where have you been?
-看牙医 -看了一整天吗 - The dentist! - All day?
你嘴巴有什么毛病 What is wrong with your mouth?
你又去看卡拉和布莱恩逛街了吧 Were you watching Cara and Brian shopping again?
没有 对 没事的 No! Yes! It's OK!
我把我家钥匙还给卡拉然后让她滚了 I gave Cara my house keys back and told her to budgie off.
我不敢相信这是我的家了 I cannot quite believe this is my home.
现在你是我们的一员了 You are one of us now.
是啊 看来没错了 Yes, I suppose I am.
科林 Colin!
晚上好 Good evening.
-谢谢 -把这个穿上 - Thank you. - Put this on.
不要 我的胸想要见识下这个世界 No! These are my boobs and they want to see the world.
对 Oui.
洗澡的时候再见识吧 They can see the world of the showers.
我想留下来 I want to stay!
不要 拜托不要 No, no, please!
我知道你在悼念你父亲 I know you've been grieving your father,
所以有时候会有点... and that can sometimes make you act a little bit...
你小子挺混蛋的是吧 You're a bit of a prick, aren't you?
是啊 Yep.
-喜欢吗 -不喜欢 - Don't you like it? - No.
一点都不喜欢 Not at all.
可惜了 That's a shame.
因为我的小贱狗爱死了 Because my little bitch loves it.
别逼我 萨姆 Don't push me, Sam.
别这样 Just don't.
想来一炮吗 Want to fuck?
我不能 I'm not allowed to.
-来一炮吗 -来 - Want to fuck? - Yeah.
-好 我先尿个尿 -好 - OK. I'm just going to pee first. - Sure.
我听说过你 I've heard things about you.
我也听说过你 Well, I've heard things about you, too.
我听说你要脱光才能拉出屎 I've heard you can't poo unless you are completely naked.
我听说你以为德国是个大洲 所以 You know, I've heard you thought Germany was a continent so...
安东尼会不高兴的 Anthony's not going to like this.
安东尼不会知道的 Anthony's not going to know about this!
怎么了 What happened?
我在地板上拉屎了 长本事了 I shat on the floor and I grew some tits.
我不该让你在床上放屁的 I shouldn't have made you fart in bed.
我爱你 I love you.
我 Oh, I...
我知道你爱我 I know you do.
好吧 OK.
宝贝 Baby...
我觉得我一直在假装 I think I've been pretending.
什么 高潮吗 What? Orgasms?
别啊 那个不是解决了吗 Come on, I thought we'd nailed that.
我哭个鼻子什么的 With the crying and the...
不是 假装... No. Pretending to...
什么 What?
假装爱上你 Pretending to be in love with you.
假装吃醋 Pretending to be jealous.
假装被你逗笑 Pretending to find you funny.
假装爱你 Pretending to love you.
对不起 Sorry.