Excellent work on the role-play, everyone.
How should you have responded to your junior colleague Sara’s insistent plea, "I need you right now!"?
Let's analyze your responses together as we review the skills this role-play was designed to practice.
The core skill for this role-play was the assertiveness technique known as the "Broken Record," combined with its application, "Presenting a Flexible Proposal."
Specifically, you were asked to practice the following two skills simultaneously:
Broken Record: The skill of calmly and repeatedly stating your non-negotiable boundary—in this case, "I can't deal with this right now"—even if the other person becomes emotional or insistent.
Flexible Proposal: The skill of demonstrating consideration for the other person's situation and feelings by presenting a feasible and specific alternative (a compromise) while still protecting your own boundaries, thereby showing a cooperative attitude.
The goal was neither to simply reject the request nor to give in to their demands.
It was to find a middle ground that respects both yourself and the other person by communicating: "I want to help you, but I can't right now. So, how about we do this instead?"
Now, let's compare NG (No Good) and OK examples by looking at specific scripts.
First, let's examine a common NG example.
Sara: "Pip! This is serious! There’s a huge problem with Project B! Please, I need 30 minutes of your time right now!"
Pip (NG): "Oh, right now!?
Well, but...
I'm in the middle of final checks for Project A and can't step away...
I'm not sure how long this will take...
Hmm...
maybe just for a little while..."
Sara: "Great, thank you!
Let's start right away!"
Why is this response considered NG?
This response has three major problems:
Failure to Protect Boundaries:
Overwhelmed by Sara's intensity, Pip ends up sacrificing their own priorities by agreeing with "maybe just for a little while."
This will interfere with their important task (final checks for Project A).
Vague Language Creates Openings for Negotiation:
Ambiguous phrases like "Well, but..." and "Hmm..." signal to someone like Sara, who is determined to get an immediate resolution, that "if I push a little harder, I might get my way."
This can cause the other person's demands to escalate.
Potential Damage to the Long-Term Relationship:
If you create a precedent where "unreasonable demands are met," Sara may continue to bring urgent requests in the same manner.
If you repeatedly accommodate her by overextending yourself, you will eventually burn out.
Other types of NG responses include:
Emotional Confrontation:
Responding emotionally with "I'm busy too! Just do it later!" will only intimidate the other person or start a conflict, doing nothing to solve the problem.
Making Unnecessary Excuses:
Giving detailed excuses like "The manager told me to finish Project A by 5 PM today..." provides an opening for counter-arguments, such as "Okay, so after 5 PM is fine, right?" or "This is more important than that task!"
Next, let's look at two different patterns for an OK response, which was the goal of this role-play.
OK Example #1: The Pattern of Proposing Asynchronous Support and Scheduling a Time
In this pattern, you first propose a compromise that allows you to maintain your focus, and then flexibly shift to the next proposal depending on the other person's reaction.
Script example. Sara: "This is serious! There’s a huge problem with Project B! Please, I need 30 minutes of your time right now!"
Pip (OK): "Sara, you sound really stressed."
"I can tell you're in a rush."
"But I'm sorry, I absolutely cannot stop what I'm working on right now."
Sara: "But this is an emergency!"
"I need to explain it to you verbally...!"
Pip (OK): "I understand you need to discuss it verbally."
"But I'm truly sorry, I can't break my concentration right now."(Broken Record)
"How about this: could you send me a summary of the issue on chat?"
"I promise I'll review it during a break and reply with possible solutions." (Compromise #3: Asynchronous Support)"
Sara: "It's hard to convey the nuance over chat!"
"I'd really prefer to talk in person!"
Pip (OK): "I see, you want to talk directly."
"Understood."
"In that case, how about I set aside a full hour for you at 3 PM today?"
"Can you wait until then?"
"Until that time, I'm sorry, but I really can't help right now.(Broken Record)"
Why is this response considered OK?
It Shows Flexibility with Phased Proposals:
First, Pip offers a win-win compromise: "chat support."
This is less disruptive for Pip and allows Sara to take immediate action.
When the other person is not satisfied, Pip doesn't get emotional but calmly presents the next option—"scheduling a time to talk"—which prevents the negotiation from breaking down.
It Communicates the Situation Honestly and Clearly:
Instead of just repeating "I can't," Pip concisely explains the reason: "I can't break my concentration."
This helps the other person understand that the refusal isn't personal.
The key is to state the reason briefly without making long excuses, while clearly conveying the intention not to comply.
It Addresses the Core of the Request:
In response to Sara's request to "talk in person," Pip doesn't reject it outright.
By promising, "I can't right now, but I will make time for you later," Pip shows a sincere attitude of wanting to address the essence of her request.
OK Example #2: The Pattern of Encouraging Self-Service and Referring to Others
This approach provides a perspective of solving the problem as an organization while encouraging the other person's problem-solving skills.
Script example. Sara: "This is serious! There’s a huge problem with Project B! Please, I need 30 minutes of your time right now!"
Pip (OK): "Sara, I can see this is an emergency."
"Take a breath."
"But I'm truly sorry."
"I absolutely cannot stop what I'm doing right now."
Sara: "But I can't handle this on my own...!"
Pip (OK): "I understand."
"It's tough to face a problem alone."
"About that issue, isn't it similar to the one Jake handled last month?"
"There should be meeting minutes he left in the 'Project B Troubleshooting' folder on the shared drive."
"Could you check that first? (Compromise #4: Information Provision)"
Sara: "Oh, I didn't know about that document..."
"I'll take a look."
Pip (OK): "Great."
"And if that doesn't solve it, I think consulting the manager would be the most reliable option."
"Shall I let the manager know you have an urgent issue to discuss? (Compromise #5: Escalation/Referral)"
"In any case, I'm sorry, but I can't interrupt my work right now.(Broken Record)"
Why is this response considered OK?
It Promotes the Other Person's Growth:
By providing information ("check the document first") instead of an immediate answer, Pip creates an opportunity for Sara to solve the problem herself.
This respects her autonomy and contributes to her long-term growth.
It Offers a Higher-Quality Solution:
When you cannot handle something yourself, suggesting the next best action—"consulting the manager"—communicates that you are prioritizing the best possible solution for Sara.
It's a powerful approach that shifts from a "I have to fix this myself" mindset to one of utilizing the best organizational resources.
It Is Crafted to Avoid a Dismissive Impression:
By adding safety-net phrases like "And if that doesn't solve it" and "Shall I let them know for you?", Pip offers multiple options and clearly shows a cooperative attitude, ensuring the message isn't perceived as a brush-off or delegation without support.