来了 Coming!
把你女儿送回来了 我受够她了 Here's your daughter. I'm done with her.
事实证明我很愚蠢 我不懂 我以后也不会懂 Turns out I'm stupid, and I don't get it, and I never will.
等等 我把她送回你那里的时候 Wait a minute. When I dropped her off at your house,
是我很愚蠢 我不懂 我以后也不会懂来着 I was stupid, I don't get it, and I never will.
天呐 我还以为我很特别呢 Man, just when you think you're special.
你们都是非常糟糕的人 You're both horrible, horrible people.
是"愚蠢"的升级版吗 Is that an upgrade from stupid?
你介意我看一下球赛比分吗 You mind if I check the score of the game?
不介意 但你可能想要闪人 I don't mind, but you might want to bolt.
你前女友Lori在厨房里 Your ex-girlfriend Lori is in the kitchen.
等等 "不节育"Lori Wait a minute. "No birth control" Lori?
叫着不顺嘴 她现在改成Lori了 That didn't catch on, so she just goes by Lori now.
别担心 我们没事 Don't worry about it. We're fine.
就算她觉得心理治疗是骗人的 Even though she thinks psychotherapy is a scam,
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我当时很喜欢她 I really liked her.
你们俩干什么呢 So what are you guys up to?
我们做生意呢 We're working on a new business.
-咖啡茶 -咖啡茶 - Cofftea. - Cofftea?
你厌倦了在到底是喝咖啡还是喝茶 Are you tired of having to decide
两个选项中举棋不定吗 between having a cup of coffee or a cup of tea?
没有 No.
我懂你 我也举棋不定 I know, I can never decide either.
咖啡茶能让你摆脱选择障碍症 So say goodbye to painful indecisiveness with cofftee.
冲一壶新鲜的咖啡口味茶叶 Just brew-steep up a fresh pot-kettle
即可两者兼得 of coffee-flavored tea and you can have both.
听着怎么样 How's that sound?
我宁愿忍受选择障碍症 Like I'd rather live with painful indecisiveness.
Jen 有个问题 Jen, there's a problem.
字幕 The pot-kettle's acting weird and it isn't brew-steeping.
那你赶快在它冒烟之前赶紧回去看看吧 Then you better get back in there before it starts fire-smoking.
我就知道不该听 I knew I shouldn't have listened
美甲店那个棒子的话 to that stupid Korean woman at the nail shop.
要是这么靠谱 她怎么还刮脚呢 If it's such a sure thing, why is she still scrubbing feet?
Charlie Hey, Charlie.
见到你很高兴 Lori 你漂亮极了 Nice to see you，Lori. You look great.
谢了 Thanks.
这真是个奇怪的巧合 This is such a weird coincidence.
前些天我正想给你打电话呢 I was just thinking about calling you the other day.
但是当月相第二阶段在摩羯座时 But you can't use the phone
你不能用电话 when the moon is in the second phase of Capricorn?
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不是 我只是不喜欢我们分手的方式 No, I just didn't like how we left everything.
我不该说我不相信节育 I shouldn't have scared you off
把你吓跑了 by saying I didn't believe in birth control.
别自责了 除此之外还有好多呢 Oh, don't beat yourself up. There was a lot more to it than that.
比如说 Uh... Like what?
如果你不让我说谎 我就不能让你感觉好点 If you won't let me lie, I can't make you feel better.
我刚才那么说是处于防卫机制 I think I just said that as a defense mechanism
因为我有亲近恐惧症 because I have a fear of intimacy.
防卫机制 亲近恐惧症 Defense mechanism? Fear of intimacy?
听起来有人对心理治疗改观了 Sounds like someone is changing their mind about therapy.
我读过一期《今日心理学》 当我在等待 Well, I did read a "Psychology Today"
while I was waiting to be fitted for my new diaphragm.
字幕 Fitted? I thought those things were just kind of off the rack.
Goodson先生 你要学的还很多 Aw, Mr. Goodson, you have so much to learn.
我周三去你那 How about I come over Wednesday
给你私人辅导一下怎么样 and give you some private tutoring?
你是指上床 对吧 You mean sex, right?
上次有个女的要给我私人辅导 'Cause the last time a woman offered me private tutoring,
产生了相当大的歧义 there was a huge misunderstanding.
结果我学微积分来着 I wound up learning calculus.
《愤怒管理》第二季第十一集
这叫咖啡茶 It's called Coffee.
天呐 Oh, my God.
Jen怎么没发明过 How come Jen never invents...
天呐 还有余味呢 oh, my God! There's an aftertaste.
以为没味了 结果还有 You think it's gone... but it's not.
那是茶味 That's the tea.
我得走了 I've got to get going.
还记得Lori吗 Remember Lori?
你是说那个"你梦想中的浪漫女孩" You mean "The romantic girl of your dreams"
"只是她是个疯子"Lori "Except she was a lunatic" Lori?
是的 叫起来不顺嘴 她现在改成Lori了 Yeah, that didn't catch on. She's just going by Lori now.
我俩想要再给彼此各机会 Her and I are gonna give it another shot.
真的吗 Really
我们俩的关系暂时停一停比较好 So it would probably make sense for us to put our thing on hold.
我很尊重我们的约定 Look, I have no problem honoring our agreement
as long as it's va
但是你已经努力过想抓到这只独角兽了 but you've already tried capturing this unicorn,
我肯定她相信独角兽页是真的 然后你失败了 which I'm sure she also believes in, and failed.
你为什么就不能满足于我们的约定呢 So why can't you just be happy with our amazing arrangement?
我满足 但我想要的更多 I am, but you know that I want more...
更多的咖啡茶 more cofftea
Jen 你必须给Kate来一杯咖啡茶 Jen, you've got to make a big cup for Kate.
她会爱死的 She's gonna love it.
我得开始小组治疗了 I've got to start group.
-Kate -Jen - Hey, Kate. - Hey, Jen.
没时间和咖啡茶了 我要走了 No time for Coffeetea. I'm on my way out.
好吧 别忘了 Okay. Oh, hey, don't forget
我们要来一个"闺蜜之夜" we've still got to do that girls' night out.
你准备好了告诉我就行了 Just let me know when you're ready.
这个"闺蜜之夜"包含钓凯子吗 Does this girls' night out involve picking up guys?
如果不包含 我们为什么要去 If it doesn't, I don't know why we're going.
真棒 Great.
那我准备好了 明天怎么样 Then I'm ready. How about tomorrow?
太棒了 我正想要去【】酒吧呢 Awesome. I was going to 【Elto Startas】.
全是男的 街上有个吉他店 It's loaded with guys. There's a guitar store down the street
隔壁就是消防局 and a fire station next door.
很好 因为我不期待有深度有意义 Good, because I am not looking for anything deep or meaningful.
如果你想要有深度有意义的 No, if you want deep and meaningful,
你得去法学院那的【Elto Startas】 You have to go to the Elto Startas by the law school.
做什么都围绕着协商 但是很值得 Everything's a negotiation, but it's worth it.
抱歉我来晚了 Sorry I'm late.
我是走来的 I had to walk here.
为什么 我还以为你得开车来回绕呢 Why? I thought you were driving everywhere
因为你在你的车上贴广告了 because you sold advertising space on your car.
我绕来着 车没油了 I was. I just ran out of gas.
现在停到一个酸奶店外面了 And now it's stuck in front of a yogurt studio.
Vagisil今天这钱花的值 Well, Vagisil is really getting their money's worth today.
Lacey 你想分享些什么 Lacey, anything you'd like to share?
我厌倦了一些男人总是认为自己很富有 Yeah, I'm sick of guys misrepresenting themselves as rich.
太肤浅了 It's so superfacial.
我没有让气氛中 But instead of getting stuck in anger,
我在"保证全是大款"网站上注册了 I registered on richguyonlyforsure.com.
这个网站专门面对想要傍大款的女人 It's a website for women who want to date rich guys only.
保证是 For sure.
Lacey 你看人相当不准 Lacey, you are a horrible
这个网站不会对你有帮助的 judge of character and this isn't going to help.
就算没有在酒气熏天酒吧里挑到屌丝 Instead of picking losers in gin-soaked bars,
改成在你酒气熏天的家里挑屌丝了 you'll be picking losers in your gin-soaked home.
你这话太 对了 Hey, that is so... true.
我就想要别人想要的 I just want what everyone else wants...
和一个亿万富翁谈一场有深度有意义的恋爱 A deep meaningful relationship with a billionaire.
你就是不知道你想找什么样的人 You just don't know what to look for.
我保证我进入那个网站后 I bet I can get on that site
能不费吹灰之力给你找一个好男人 and I can find you a great guy like that.
我赌100美元我找的人比你的好 I'll bet you 100 bucks that I can do it better than you.
我一点都不关心Lacey 我只喜欢赌博 I don't care nothing about Lacey, but I just like gambling.
得了吧 好想你们比我自己还了解我似的 Oh, please. Like you guys know me better than me.
我整天都在想我自己 I spend all day thinking about me.
你们呢 You spend, like, what,
可能一天花两三个小时来想我 maybe two or three hours a day thinking about me.
那只是因为Nolan每天的18小时 That's only because Nolan's 18 hours a day
提升了大家的平均值 Messes with the average.
但我觉得这会是个很好的试验 But I do think this is a worthy experiment.
有事旁观者可以更客观地 Sometimes other people can be more objective
了解我们的需要 About what we need than we are.
我一拿到Vagisil的支票 As soon as I get my Vagisil check,
我给没人发20美元不让你们这么做 I will pay everybody $20 not to do this.
好吧 按计划来 我把我的密码给你们 Okay, so here's the plan. I'll give each of you my password,
你们假装是我 谁钓到最好的金龟胥谁赢 you pretend you're me, and whoever picks the best catch wins.
你们大家要记住 Remember, guys,