Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org M_I_SForEver
Hey Tom, how you doing?
Tom, I told you I don't speak Polish.
Besides, I'm not Angie.
I'm Anthony and you know I came to this country years ago.
Anyway, what's up?
Hey by the way, do you know where Matt is?
No, I haven't seen him for a long period of time.
Yeah, me too.
That's the problem, he just disappeared.
Oh come on. It's Matt, he should be fine.
By the way, do you want to hit the bar?
Nah, I'm exhausted.
A lot of work, important projects, you know?
You on a little bit tighter?
- I really need some rest. - As usual.
Hey, what about that girl you met a couple of weeks back?
You should go with her.
Nothing.
Why? She's cool.
You know, she's strange.
- She picks her nose too often. - Gotcha.
You are definitely unlucky with girls, dude.
Yeah, beautiful. It looks like it.
Okay. Hey, we'll see you bro.
Yeah.
See ya,
bye.
And would come back to the United States.
Okay.
It was lovely meeting you.
- Michelle. - Thank you.
- Am I special? - Yeah, I like that one.
That's Matt's apartment.
You see life? Look at his blood.
The crazy bastard split his head open.
What shall we do now?
Call 911 I guess.
Do you want us to call you an ambulance?
No, thanks.
Okay, let's help him to his feet then.
Come on.
So, here we are then.
Where have you been, man?
I haven't seen you for a week, no messages, no calls.
I was ready to call your mom.
Ha, yeah, I can just imagine
how that conversation would go.
I almost called ICE and told them
you were Mexican so they would know how to find you.
You know that's not true.
- They don't care. - Guys.
Drinks for the guys.
- Thanks, gorgeous. - Thank you.
So, are you gonna tell me where you've been?
Oh, sorry mate.
So, get this.
The other week, I'm watching TV,
this documentary, right, about Russia.
Are you serious?
Yeah, Russia.
Honestly, it's the best place I have ever been.
Bars are open all night,
insane nightclubs and well, the women.
Stop, okay. For example, Russia.
But how did you communicate with them?
They all speak English there. It's so easy.
What's wrong with your face?
You having a stroke or something?
- Oh, oh, Natasha. - Shh.
- Yeah, Natasha. - Crazy story, right?
I went to the restaurant one night,
you know, hoping to sink a few.
I see this girl, Natasha.
She's there with one of her friends.
Our eyes met from across the room.
It was like one of those scenes from a movie.
So we're getting a couple of drinks, having a bit of a dance
and she took me into the bathroom
and you know, we had a bit of a rendezvous.
Oh my god, that's disgusting.
What are you, 15 years old? Come on.
Hey wait, I know. You should go to Russia.
You'd love it there.
I'll even go write down the name
- of the place I met Natasha. - Are you serious?
Yeah of course, why not?
I have a job. I have important projects.
I don't know, because I have-
- Because, because, look at me.
I'm Anthony, my wife left me.
I'm always so depressed and upset
and I stay in my apartment all the time.
Okay, come on.
Come on, mate.
All you do is sit in your apartment all day
and worry and complain about how she left you.
Darling?
Ah, coming, gorgeous.
Anyway mate, the best thing you could ever, ever do.
You can meet a girl like Natasha yourself.
You'll be all right, mate.
Coming, gorgeous.
And here we go.
Why can't you ever fry it a little more?
But you like it this way.
I like it fried a little more.
Honey, I'm off.
Mario's here.
Hey sweetheart. I forgot my-
People refer
to me and I get really upset about it.
- Well, I'm 42. - 42?
And they call that young.
Oh, Tony. Tony, over here mate.
- Hey guys. - Hello.
Gorgeous, you remember our Tony from yesterday?
Here he is trying to keep himself in shape.
Hey.
You see Tony here, he's always working on that
body of his but not really for the right purpose.
Don't be so rude, pumpkin.
Look, ducks. May I go feed the ducks?
Of course, darling.
So, did you think about my holiday idea?
Oh man, I don't know.
That's too hard to leave it all
behind and go, especially to Russia.
When did you start playing football?
This, approximately one hour ago.
Impressive.
Mate, it's because of this girl,
It's honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I mean I'm trying new things
I never would have thought I'd done.
I've always wanted to play football but how insane is that?
On that note, check this out.
Hey darling, catch.
Ooh.
Is she okay?
She's tough. She can handle it.
Listen, I know that you've gone through a divorce
but I'm starting to think that the issue is with you
and not with that stupid cow of an ex-wife of yours.
You have to get out there and meet someone.
Mate, I know, I know but you do nothing but
work behind your desk 24-seven on those silly projects.
You just need to take a bit of time off.
Get out there. See the world, have a vacation.
Even for a week, get out there and find your own Natasha.
I don't know, dude. It's too hard.
Come on mate, you're my best friend.
I'm worried about you.
I need you to be happy. I want you to be happy.
Hey gorgeous, Natasha, come over here.
Hey, gorgeous.
Don't you think my friend here
is an attractive single young man?
You are single? I can't believe this, how come?
I don't know.
And you've never been to Russia?
Nope.
You have to go there. You won't regret it.
But I've heard so much crazy stuff.
We have amazing places, bars restaurants,
anything a person can wish for.
People are so hospitable and open too.
That's what I've been trying to tell him.
Absolutely, many people get scared about
how many witches we have but it's all grandma's tales.
Maybe, maybe you're right.
You've gotta do it.
You know I love you. I want you to be happy.
Seriously, I'd love to stay and chat longer
but we've got abseiling at 1:00 p.m. today.
We've gotta get going but I'll talk to you soon, okay?
It's been great to see you, mate.
- Talk to you soon, okay? - Okay.
- Are you ready, honey? - Bye, bye, Anthony.
Okay, bye guys, take care.
I've always dreamed of somebody like you.
You're 1,000 times better than Matt.
As soon as I saw you,
I decided to dump him.
People refer to me,
I get really upset about it.
- How old are you? - I'm 42.
- Oh, 42. - Oh my-
I'm so glad you decided to go.
Natasha must've made quite an impression on you.
Yeah. She's great.
But tell me the truth. Did you like her?
What do you mean?
Well I bet you've already been imagining how you'd
steal her away from him, dreaming about her day and night.
What are you talking about? I never thought about this.
Come on. Your eyes totally gave you away, dude.
You didn't think about this? You little bastard.
Wait, wait a second.
My favorite t-shirt.
What's going on?
Dude, you still there?
To be honest, I'm not sure
if I'm making the right decision right now.
Of course you are.
It's better than sitting and waiting there at any rate.
I'm sure you'll find an excellent girl for yourself
and Natasha will have company here.
Well, maybe you're right.
Hopefully it'll work out.
- Okay, see you later. - Okay.
See you later, pal.
Hey, keep me posted on everything.
Excuse me, sir. How long will it take to get there?
A little under an hour, mister tourist, yeah.
Okay.
If there is a picture at the entrance to the city.
Okay. Thank you.
Now,
I can see
you are foreigner, mister tourist, yeah?
Yes sir.
Where from,
American,
Englishman?
Minneapolis, USA.
Minneapolis?
America, yeah? Minneapolis, America.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Very good, Minneapolis.
Good for the body, yeah?
Yes sir.
Excuse me, a sportsman.
A sportsman, yeah, yeah? A sportsman.
Here
for business or for a break, hmm?
Kind of business but maybe I'll meet some beauties too.
Oh, good for the American, yeah, yeah.
You'll meet for sure. You'll meet for sure, yeah.
I understand, mate.
The main thing
is not to meet a witch, as my wife was.
Not witch, not witch.
But it's
all the time lack of money.
Lack of money,
lack of everything
all the time.
Everything all the time.
Lack of money.
A lack of money.
Is everything all right, sir?
Well, well, I love very much ,
so much that I drank a lot of juice
and can't stand it.
Can't stand it.
Captain, captain,
can I stop the car?
- Can I stop the car? - Of course. No problem.
Thanks.
Bro American, bro.
Do you need help?
It's fine.
But your pee is red.
Red?
My pee is red.
Red.
And so what?
I just drank
too much tomato juice, so it's red.
What color liquid we drink, such the color we pee.
Stop.
Is that what you say when you're there?
- Nope. - In America.
Take a seat.
Take a seat, let's go.
♪ And we go ♪
Come on, let's go.
Your room is 321,
there you go.
Thank you.
If you have any questions or problems,
please feel free to call anytime.
Hopefully I won't have any problems, thanks.
Okay.
You're so handsome.
So strong.
So real.
Its time to look
for a bar.
It seems like this trip should be nice.
Oh man, you are goddamn sexy.
All the girls are gonna be yours.
Good evening. Are you feeling okay?
Can I help you with anything?
Oh, everything's great. Thank you.
I need a taxi to get to this place.
It's a nice bar.
You know this great theater performance
playing now in our city, ,
it will be more exciting than the regular bar.
Thanks but I'll stick with the bar.
Okay, taxi will wait in five minutes.
Oh, thanks a lot. Great.
- Have a nice day. - Bye.
- Yeah, hello. - Follow me, please.
Sure.
- Excuse me? - You are not from here.
Handsome man, are you alone?
Right now, I'm alone.
By the way, your dance was impressive.
Thank you.
What is your name?
Anthony, and yours?
My name is Nina.
So, where are you from?
Just a moment, "I am from America," right?
You are absolutely right.
Minneapolis, USA
and please, let me be very straight with you.
You look stunning.
Your lips are so soft.
You're a good kisser.
I'm good at many things.
Oh, I don't doubt that.
So sweetie, how long are you staying in Russia?
For one week
but I love it here so much, I would stay here forever.
Sounds sexy.
Just let me go to the ladies room
to fix my makeup and my lipstick after you.
Don't go anywhere.
Of course. No problem.
Wow.
Do not kiss her.
What? Why?
Anyway, it's too late. We've already kissed.
She's a witch.
A witch? Witches have gone for 500 years.
I warned you.
Wait, you have-
Feel free to order anything you want.
Waiter, the best vodka you have please.
You are so generous, brave, sexy.
Yeah, I've got this department covered.
Then we will go to mine then?
To yours, and where do you live?
On the moon.
I've never been on the moon.
Let's go.
Be careful.
I think I drank too much.
I think it's okay.
Darling.
- Interesting neighborhood. - Yes.
- Lots of fun around here. - Are we there yet?
Are you running out of patience?
Is anybody here?
- Which floor do you live on? - Third.
What a long staircase, are we close?
It seems to me like we've been going up forever now.
We are almost there, just a little more.
Three or 400 steps left.
No, no, no, handsome man.
Take a look.
Okay, I have some power.
Welcome.
It's pretty dark in here, isn't it?
Wow, you have that cool thing.
You can wait for me there.
I'll be back in a minute.
Okey-dokey.
Okay.
Let's play.
Wow.
Wait a second.
It's Matt.
That's Matt in the picture. Do you know him?
Who doesn't?
He is very popular around here.
Seriously? What for?
Doesn't matter.
Tonight is not about him, but about us.
Neat.
Come on, that's just vodka.
Keep it together.
Okay.
You know, I actually am a professional in this kind of game.
Yeah.
I like it.
You're so sharp.
Oh yeah.
You are so hot.
I can't wait anymore.
Gotcha.
You're all mine.
Please help, let me in.
Come on, come on, open up.
Please, please, please, let me in, let me in, let me in.
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much for the help.
Nice apartment.
Get off.
How long have you lived here?
Has anything strange ever happened here before?
Maybe we should call the police.
Okay, I think I will go. Thank you again.
You are mine.
What's the matter? I haven't seen you for ages, eh?
How are you?
Did you manage to find a bride, not a witch, eh?
To hell with the brides. Please take me to the hotel.
Yeah. Come on, come on, come on.
Yeah, that's it.
You have to be careful, my American buddy.
You have to be careful.
- Didn't anybody warn you, huh? - About what?
I understand you, I do understand,
I do understand you very well.
That happens, that happens.
What does she want from me?
What does she want? What does she want?
She wants your balls, my American boy. She wants your balls.
If a witch
makes a foreigner
from every part of the world
fall in love with her,
cuts his balls and eats them,
she becomes immortal,
yeah.
I understand, mate.
When
I imagine that...
It makes me sweat.
- She wants your balls. - Okay, okay.
For example, witch, my balls
and what am I supposed to do right now?
Right, you're right.
What should you do?
You should remove the malefice, my American boy.
Yeah, the malefice.
- I'm gonna help you, yes? - Yes.
- Please, please. - Yeah.
Fine.
Come on.
- Go? - Go.
- Go straight ahead. - Thank you, sir.
I don't know how to thank you enough. Thank you very much.
No thanks. No.
You'll pay it back.
Thank you. Okay, okay, you got it.
Right you are.
Good luck.
Good luck, American.
- Go? - Come on.
- Go? - Go.
Thank you, thank you.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
Yeah.
Hello.
If somebody put a spell on you,
you did the right thing coming to me.
- Do you have cash? - No.
All right, you'll transfer it to me later.
Uh-huh.
Come in, our guest.
Your case isn't easy.
It will cost you 10,000 rubles.
But how do you know what happened to me?
I'm a fairy, I know everything.
Take your clothes off.
Why?
I will lift the witch's curse.
Okay, as long as it helps get away from Nina.
Nina is a rare witch but this will help.
I will prepare everything and you take your clothes off
but make sure you are completely naked.
Why do I have to be naked?
Otherwise, it might not work.
Naked again.
Don't worry.
All my remedies are organic.
Come on, get up and come closer.
Turn your back to me
and now bend over.
- Are you serious? - Absolutely.
Don't stop now.
Okay.
Don't be afraid.
Believe me.
You'll never go away from me.
Excuse me. Can you help me please?
I am picking mushrooms.
And what are you doing here, eh?
A smart witch has come for you.
Fight for it.
Shit.
Can I help you with anything?
Yes you can, please call the police.
Please, a crazy woman is after me.
It seems like you had one too many.
Maybe better to call a doctor.
No, I'm dead serious. A crazy woman is after me.
All right.
I understand what you are talking about
but not police, not a doctor can help.
Then who can?
The red matrix stone.
Huh?
Are you kidding me?
All these dark powers, witches, it's all bullshit.
It doesn't exist, just help me.
Yes it does and you have to know how to fight them.
Okay, okay.
How will it help me and where do I get it?
You need to go to the bath house at midnight and take it.
The owner of the stone have extra power.
Damn, Nina.
Oh, her name is Nina?
- Yes. I think. - I know this
witch.
So what does she want from me?
Immortality of course.
I heard that if she makes seven men
from seven different countries fall in love with her,
cuts off their balls and she will be immortal.
Brilliant.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
You don't have any other choice, I'm afraid.
How do you know all that stuff?
It happened before.
Don't lose the time
and when you take the stone, don't lose it.
You're not the one to put it here,
so you're not the one to touch it.
Who's here?
Nobody's here. Just you.
Just me?
Just you and yourself.
The voice sounds too familiar.
I don't understand.
Me neither.
Who are you?
I'm you and you're me.
You're not me and I'm not you.
Is that right?
The looks, the voice, the face.
Everything is the same.
Looks like there's too many doubles in this world.
It hurts, mate.
Screw you. I'm not your mate.
This stone's really good.
Bravo, handsome.
You are really very strong.
But we are wasting too much time on you.
Nice try.
I told you, you won't get away from me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Tell me darling, how do you like me best?
Like this?
Or like this?
Let's play.
Goddammit.
You're only mine.
Eat my fricking balls, witch.
It looks like hallucination from strong fall.
- Oh, it might help- - Please take her away.
Sorry.
Gorgeous, give the man some breathing room.
Where am I?
Did I fly back home?
Not exactly, mate.
You've definitely been on a bit of a trip.
Didn't I fly away?
Mate, you're in your apartment.
Look around, you're in your lounge.
I mean, a bit of a knock on the head.
Honestly, you had a concussion but I think
with a few days rest on here, you'll be back to normal.
But I saw her in the hotel.
You need to have some rest.
All will be fine.
Tony, honestly mate, you're in great hands.
Look at the doctor.
Look at Gloria.
She's here all night.
She said she'll look after you until tomorrow.
She's from the private clinic down the road.
Mate, how lucky are you?
So.
Rest up.
- See you, doctor. - See you.
Maybe just a little knock next time, mate.
Honestly dude, I hope you're all right.
Feel better soon, yeah?
- Okay. Ready, darling? - Mm hmm.
Gloria, could you please bring me a glass of water?
Sure.
I will bring you much more than that.
Nina?
I told you you're not getting away from me.
It seems like it's better
to look for a bride in your own country.
I'm fine!
So beautiful.
Oh my life,
so beautiful.
Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org