Just how deep does my
soul go?
Does my...
Xavier, this is your special
day!
Today you will finally be
recognized for the great
achievements you've made as the
world's number-one guardian
angel!
Please.
I don't do it for the accolades.
Here's the orphan whose life
you saved!
Oh. Well...
This is the priest you rescued!
That's the wino who mouthed
my bottom!
We're all dead!
You haven't saved any of us.
Well, he's about to, uh...
Save this baby!
I have
to do my laundry.
I've fallen asleep on my
dream catcher again.
Judging by the amount of dream
goo, it was some powerful stuff.
Dreams... they're the hurricanes
that wash the soul filth from
the super do me of our night mind.
I know people out there are
dreaming for my cleansing rain
to rinse away all suffer age.
I dream hard of helping people.
Oh, yeah. Helping people...
Helping people...
Oh, god.
Oh, gonna pop...
Pop, pop, pop...
People!
There's a lady being raped!
A man is raping a lady!
And this lady is named
mother earth.
And the man...
Feel that beef right there.
...she is man.
Hey, you, shut up.
Shut up, freak!
Yeah, yeah.
Shut up!
Yeah!
The earth ain't fleeting in her
plentiful bounties!
Shoot!
I ought to punch his
vacation-raping face from here
to the local bus station.
What you ought to do is take
care of that frisky wife of
yours.
You're right!
You're embarrassing me, honey!
Young one, we must care for
our mother earth, for she is the
brain of the universe.
Come.
Tune in to the wavelength of our
global consciousness.
If the earth is a
brain, does it have dreams...
Dreams, dreams,
dreams, dreams...
Hey.
Beats workin'!
"Darfur doodle" will be right
black!
TV... the devil's
dream box.
Yeah. TV... Really rots your nud.
Whoopsie doodle!
There was a mix-up at the cookie
factory!
We made the cookies way too big,
and the chocolate chips
b-b-b-b-blue?!
My god!
No one deserves a mix-up that
bad.
I've got to help those poor
bastards.
Clumso the cookie chef really
popped a boner into these yummy
snacks!
Blue chocolate Whoopsie doodles!
Available for a limited time
only!
Damn you, clumso!
How many times am I going to
have to clean up your messes?!
For this is my destiny...
Now there was a factory mix-up!
We accidentally mixed up the
cookie factory with the tampon
factory!
Now our cookies absorb up to
2 pints of flavor!
Yummy!
And the light floral scent keeps
me feeling fresh all day!
These blue-chocolate-chip
tampons are goo-ably, chewably
huge!
So huge, it hurts!
Just slice and insert!
They make it safe to wear
white pants, and they're nice
and huge!
I gobble them while they
gobble my filth.
What do I care?
It's my time...
For my yummy... period.
Exclamation point!
Question Mark.
If left in mouth more than
three days, cookies may cause
toxic shock.
Two factory screw-ups
in one town!
Something smells fishy, and I
intend to get to the bottom of
this barrel.
It is my destiny.
Everything looks prettier on TV.
I heard about your tragic
mix-ups, and I'm here to help.
Sir, this is private
property.
The company has a policy of not
cottoning to freaks 'round these
parts.
You've obviously got
something to hide.
Maybe you're doing damage to
this beautiful ecosystem.
Well, I'm gonna go above your
head and find out.
What's that, mother earth?
You say this factory is
poisoning you?
And you need my help?
What's that?
You want me to repeat everything
you say?
What?
Sure.
I'd love to hear a joke.
Who's there?
Banana who? Banana...
Banana who?!
Orange-na whom?
I am pretty glad.
I'm gonna let you go.
Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Okay. Bye.
It's been good times,
dream catcher.
That takes care of that
nightmare.
I just did a solid in the creek,
everyone.
No need to thank me.
What you talkin' 'bout,
freak?
We all just lost our jobs!
That was the last job in
town.
Now my poor family will have to
live off my farm.
It not mu...
I'm on a helping
roll, and I'd be glad to do a
solid all over your family.
We've been through enough.
Hey.
You're that freak who warned us
about the fleetingness of
earth's plentiful bounties.
Well, I'm a good
farmhand, and I don't need
much... just five hots and a cot
and a queen-size lazy-bread bed.
And a flat-screen ITV.
And a Wi-Fi hotspot.
And a breakfast nook.
A sauna, a conversation nook,
some of them crazy cookies.
Orange you glad I didn't say
"banana"?
We're in a drought.
I can give you a plate of
weevils every day.
Deal.
Sucker.
I would have settled for every
other day.
Daddy!
At least this brutal
drought hasn't taken your poor
grandma.
That's my daughter.
She 14.
Nice and legal.
We don't got much, but we can
let you stay in the dust room.
Why don't you just leave, skip
town, and abandon your family?
I was born in this house, and
I'll die in this house... both
of starvation.
We been working this land for
six generations.
This whole land used to be as
fertile as a Nicaraguan slut.
This crop looks
strong.
It's all dust corn... flaky
as a Filipino granny in a
pyramid scheme.
If we don't get rain soon, we
might have to tighten our belts
tighter than a Jew in a...
Oh, shoot.
One of my boys got hold of my
belt!
Aw, he's just showing off for
company.
Folks are even starved for
attention 'round here.
Feel my bicep.
Grab that man meat.
We know the lord will
provide.
And if our lot is to shrivel and
die, well, then he'll provide
that.
Oh, if we only had rain!
Rain... it's just
god's tears.
I know a shamanic navajo rain
dance that hasn't just blown
minds, it's blown ducts...
Tear ducts.
I'm willing to try any
precipitation boogie you got.
Hey-ya-ho-oh,
hey-ya-oh... oh, shucks.
I forgot it.
But we can jog my memory with
the lakota memory-jogging dance.
Just show me how.
Hey-ya-Hoo...
I... can't remember the
memory-jogging dance.
I know... the irony is rich.
So all we have to do is the
iroquois irony-melting dance,
and we'll be golden.
Do you remember that one?
Of course.
This noodle is a steel cage.
But only god can do that dance,
and it has to be raining.
That's the irony part.
Damn this circular logic!
Just do it, weirdo!
Just do your dance!
Not at me!
God has to do that dance.
Dance, god! Dance!
We made you up, and we can take
you down!
It's working!
Wait. This 'Tain't rain.
It's god's blood.
Papa! You shot god!
What have I done?
So you admit it is
your fault.
You kill off the corn mutants.
I'll stay back and protect the
womenfolk.
Society's about to end, girl,
and it's up to us to start
repopulating the planet.
I suppose.
Really?
I just repopulated my pants.
Wait. "Pop." That's it!
Time for a snack attack!
Pop 'em, papa! Pop 'em!
Got 'em!
I'm a crop stopper!
Spread the word 'round
town... there's blood popcorn
for everyone!
I'll order a movie!
Better put a hold on
the movie.
The trees are clear-cutting all
of downtown!
Nature is out to make us pay
for our sins against the earth!
Nature is alive... And it's
angry!
I know what to do.
Hop on.
I can't look!
Hand cramp!
You better take over.
I'll do my best to try.
So, what's your plan?
I think we should,
uh, you know, uh...
Pack all the maxi bites in
the smokestack?
Don't just stand
there.
Chop, chop my plan into action.
We've only got one shot to plug
up god's drippy heaven crevice.
Hey, godsteress...
Suck on this!
It stuck!
I did it!
I stopped god's heavy flow, and
her cycle of madness is over.
At least for this month.
I guess dreams do come true.
So god is a lady.
I know because I got her sopping
wet, and then I gave god's junk
her just desserts.
Someone's gonna have to mop up
all this Booty sauce.
Booty sauce?
Yes.
You see, son, god is a woman.
And every woman has a special
hole that's the source of all
life.
It's called the Booty hole.
Really?
Yep.
You can read all about it on my
blog.
I got to ramble on.
You can find your own way home.
Whoopsie doodle!