1 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:28,040 [music plays] 2 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,520 - [giggling, cooing] - There. That's better. 3 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:39,760 - [# Seals & Croft: Summer Breeze] - [laughing] 4 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,440 - # Summer breeze # - All clean. 5 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,200 - [giggling] - # Make me feel fine # 6 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:50,080 - # Blowing through the jasmine in my mind # - [sighs] 7 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:51,920 # He sees you when you're sleepin' # 8 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,840 - # He knows when you're awake # - What are you doing here? 9 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,240 - What are you talking about? - I'm talkin' about Santa Claus! 10 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,520 There's only 159 days left till Christmas, so you better be good. 11 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,560 I'd better be good? How 'bout this? You better be scarce. Now go on. 12 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,520 I don't care about Christmas. 13 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,240 - # Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way # - Ah! 14 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,160 - Donkey! - 51 days left till Christmas. 15 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,600 Get your green butt in gear and go get your marshmallows, 16 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,880 because without marshmallows, sweet potatoes are nothin'! 17 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,680 Aggh! Enough! I don't care about any of this nonsense. 18 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,560 - Now shoo! - OK, OK. But don't say I didn't say I told you so. 19 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,480 [sighs] 20 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,400 - # Smashing through the snow # - Ah! 21 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,480 - # And laughin' all the way # Ha-ha-ha! - [sighs] 22 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,800 It's finally here. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! You got everything ready? 23 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,640 - [Shrek] No. - Trimmed stockin's 24 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,680 - or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree? - No! 25 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,760 - Or figgified your puddin'? - Donkey! 26 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,640 Will you get it through your thick head? 27 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,960 No one here gives a hoot about Christmas! 28 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,880 A white Christmas! Oh, how perfect. 29 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,440 And it's our first one together as a family. Isn't this exciting? 30 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,120 Uh, oh, yeah! How 'bout that? 31 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:03,920 There's somethin' Shrek needs to tell you. 32 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,280 Don't ruin the surprise for her, Donkey. 33 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,160 Surprise? Oh, I love surprises! 34 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,280 You're the best. Come on, let's go make some cookies. 35 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,520 [door closes] 36 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,440 OK, you a dead man. You know that, right? 37 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,000 Um, hold that thought. I'll be right back. 38 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,320 [# Carl Orff: Carmina Burana] 39 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,280 - [ringing] - Oh, good, you're still open. 40 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,080 No, no, uh, we're closing now. Merry Christmas. 41 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,280 Wait, wait, wait! I need your help. I have to make a Christmas, 42 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,920 and I have no idea what it is or how to do it! 43 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,080 Why didn't you say so? That's super. 44 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,720 I know all about Christmas, and I have just the book for you. 45 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,760 Christmas for Village Idiots. It's all spelled out. See? 46 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,200 One: decorate house. Two: the stockings by the fireplace. 47 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,400 Step three: the Christmas feast. Mmmm! 48 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,320 - What's that? - Step four? That's the Christmas tree! 49 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,320 The tree goes inside the house? 50 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,840 Anyway, step five: 51 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,440 The telling of the Christmas story. 52 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,960 This is the step that says I created the perfect Christmas 53 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,560 for my perfect family perfectly. See? Family by the fire, 54 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,880 everyone cozy and warm. Happy, happy. Voila! 55 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,080 - Um, sure. - Look, long story short, 56 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,200 it's all right here. It's no problem. 57 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,160 - Oh, perfect. - I mean, how hard can it be? 58 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,120 - [shouting] - I didn't get the eggnog! 59 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,120 - Closed?! What do you mean? - We're closed. 60 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,400 - Dwight the Knight action figure? - Marshmallows! 61 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,160 - Sweet potatoes are nothing without marshmallows! - Bye-bye. 62 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,960 - Have a super Christmas. - [moaning] 63 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,000 - [rattling] - Wha...? Oh. 64 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,760 - [Shrek] Ooh! - Honey, is that you? 65 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,240 - [Shrek] Ah! Oh! - [gasps] 66 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,960 Fiona! What are you doing up so early? 67 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,080 - [grunts] - Wait, are you OK? 68 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,960 - I'm all right. [chuckles] - What are you...? 69 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,000 - Uh, I... - Are you decorating? 70 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,800 Uh, yeah, that. Surprised? 71 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,400 - Yes. [giggles] - Well, this is our first Christmas together as a family, 72 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:08,160 and, you know, I just want to make sure that it's perfect. 73 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,200 Shrek, I think... it's beautiful. 74 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,880 - It's passable. - It's horrible! 75 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,440 - Oh! Donkey! - They usually toilet paper and run away. 76 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,120 Whoever did this means business! Get rid of all this junk 77 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,040 and get some tinsel and doilies and ribbons 78 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,680 - and maybe some of those plastic reindeer. - What is it you wanted today? 79 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,760 Come on, it's Christmas Eve! And I've brought you a little somethin'. 80 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,440 Go ahead, take a couple. I bought plenty for everybody! 81 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,000 Oh, isn't that... nice. 82 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,600 Well, thanks for stopping by for that brief visit, but as you can see, 83 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,640 there's a lot of work to do. 84 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,400 Just like him to wait till the last minute. 85 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,160 Don't worry, if there's one thing I know, it's Christmas. 86 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,960 Shrek's gonna want help, my advice, and he's definitely... 87 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:51,040 Actually, I think what he really wants is a nice family Christmas. 88 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:54,320 Oh, a family Christmas. 89 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,360 Yeah. It's the first one with the kids. 90 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,760 Don't say another word. I know exactly what you mean. 91 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,080 - I got a lot to do now, so I better get movin'. - Thank you, Donkey! 92 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,960 - Uh, and Merry Christmas! - All right. Merry Christmas! 93 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,880 # Love and joy come to you and to me some waffles too # 94 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,680 Donkey's right. It's Christmas Eve. 95 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,400 How am I ever gonna get this done in time? 96 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:20,080 This is gonna be the best Christmas ever. And we're going to do it together, so come on. 97 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,000 [# The Waitresses: Christmas Wrapping] 98 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,920 # 'Cause it is my favorite holiday # 99 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,160 # All this year's been a busy blur # 100 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:27,760 [belches] 101 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:29,640 # On with the boots Back out in the snow # 102 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,720 # To the only all-night grocery # 103 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,720 # When what to my wondering eyes should appear # 104 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,720 # In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year # 105 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,680 # Then suddenly we laughed and laughed # 106 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,400 # Caught on to what was happening # 107 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,560 # That Christmas magic's brought this tale # 108 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,720 - # To a very happy ending # - Everything looks so good! 109 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,920 Oh, nice job, honey. 110 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,840 Well, we all did it together. 111 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,720 And now what would the perfect Christmas be without a Christmas story? 112 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,520 - [giggling] - Ahem. 113 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,280 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house 114 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,520 - Not a creature was stirring... What? - [crashing] 115 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,280 - Merry Christmas, Shrek! - Oh, not you! 116 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,360 We're here to smother you with Christmas love! 117 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,040 Absolutely not! Bad Donkey! Go home! 118 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,200 How are you gonna have Christmas without family? 119 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,120 - Seasons greeting! - Happy Holidays! 120 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,400 - Merry Christmas! - Well, what a nice surprise! 121 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,080 Oh, yeah. Ooh! 122 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,600 [cooing] 123 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,240 OK, I will assume the position. 124 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,760 [squealing, laughing] 125 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:31,400 - I am the joy-filled swine! - Yay for the season of love! 126 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,800 Don't you know this is where stockings go? You can't be hanging laundry up! 127 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,800 Donkey! Don't touch anything. 128 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,400 - [shouting] - How we gon' roast chestnuts on this little bitty fire? 129 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,800 Hey, baby, you mind? 130 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,320 - Oh, boy! - This way, gents. 131 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,480 [laughs] That was our supper! 132 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,800 Ow! Hey! Ow! 133 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,760 Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven? 134 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,200 - [pig] Where are we going to put it? - I don't know. 135 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,120 Let's put it over here. No, that is not with the feng shui. 136 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,760 Come on, everybody, let's dance! 137 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,480 # Yes, we can, can, can Can, can, can, can dance # 138 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,800 [dance music plays] 139 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:17,800 - [indistinct chatter] - [Shrek] Occupied! 140 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,080 It's me. Shrek? 141 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,400 - [Shrek] Yes? - Come back to the party. Please? 142 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,560 [Shrek] I don't think that'd be such a good idea. 143 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,960 Come on. It's not that bad. 144 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,920 OK, I know you're not a party person, but... 145 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,200 But what? This is not the kind of Christmas I had in mind. 146 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,320 They're our friends, Shrek. They all mean well. 147 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,640 - [glass shatters] - [pig] How many babies did Fiona have? 148 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,720 - [pig 2] She has babies? - [pig 1] Don't know. 149 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:44,920 I better get back to the house. 150 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,120 I'm surprised we have a house to go back to. 151 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,520 - Are you coming? - Oh, I can hardly wait. 152 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,320 - Ah, finally! - [crashing] 153 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,680 - [humming Ride of the Valkyries] - Ja, look at him go! 154 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:05,040 - Excuse me. Excuse me! - Excuse you for what? 155 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,000 I don't feel very good. [gagging] 156 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:12,400 - Ahh, I feel better now. - Ooh, a chocolate chip! Mm! 157 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,360 - Sweetheart? [giggles] - [# Journey: Don't Stop Believin'] 158 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,400 - Mind if I cut in? - Oh! 159 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:24,360 # Don't stop believing # 160 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,640 # Ooh, up and down the boulevard # 161 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,000 [giggling, cooing] 162 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,920 [Pig] I am a little Christmas angel! 163 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,040 - Hey there, my sweeties. - [belches] 164 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:39,200 Aw. Would you like Daddy to finish the story for you? 165 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,840 - [squeals] - Yeah? 166 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,560 The children were nestled all snug in their beds 167 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,000 - Visions of sugarplums... - Were you tellin' 'em 168 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,880 The Night Before Christmas? That's the best Christmas story ever! 169 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,600 - And I'm the best teller ever! - Donkey... 170 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,360 I got it committed to memorization! 171 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,960 - Gather round! - Donkey! Wait! 172 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,800 I'm supposed to tell the Christmas story. 173 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,960 'Twas the night before Christmas and I spent all the day 174 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,640 Finishin' up on my Christmas display 175 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,960 Now, missin' all this would be nothin' but tragic 176 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,720 So just follow me and I'll show you the magic 177 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,800 Now, out in the yard in a glorious clutter 178 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,520 Is a spectacle there that'll make your heart flutter 179 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,240 With 20-foot cheese balls and a big eggnog fountain 180 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,240 And yodelin' elves on an ambrosia mountain 181 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,640 A stage where acrobats jump, leap and prance 182 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:24,400 And honor the day through interpretive dance 183 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:27,360 - [all shout] - But just when you think the display is complete 184 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,400 The Christmas parade comes right down the street 185 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,840 With holiday floats all in silver and blue 186 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,720 With sugarplum fairies and a reindeer or two 187 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,400 There's a baton-twirlin' snowman all happy and perky 188 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,840 Magical peacocks and a dancin' roast turkey 189 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,920 - # Everybody dance now # - [# C+C Music Factory: Gonna Make You Sweat] 190 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,680 [Donkey] And right when you think that you've just seen it all 191 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,640 Comes a huge waffle Santa that's 50 feet tall 192 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,000 Ho, ho, ho! 193 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,760 With syrup and butter the sight just amazes 194 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,560 As it's flanked by a choir all singin' his praises 195 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,560 # Oh, Santa # 196 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,240 # Oh, Santa # 197 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,680 # Oh, Santa Oh, Santa # 198 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,080 - # Santa # - Donkey. 199 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,760 - # Oh, Santa # - Santa? 200 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,080 - Donkey! - Santa! 201 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,920 - Donkey! - Oh. 202 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,320 Very inappropriate, amigo. Please, allow me. 203 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,680 - Oh, Puss, not you too. - In my homeland, 204 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,560 we tell a very different tale of the Santa Nicholas. 205 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,920 He's not made of waffles. 206 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,920 - This Santa was suave He was nothing like that - [giggling] 207 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,960 The Santa I know was a hot Latin cat 208 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,920 He was dressed all in fur from his head to his paws 209 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:40,480 And he stood there heroic A real Santa... Claws 210 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,960 Red are his boots 211 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,640 - And so is his cape - Ol? 212 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:49,640 His sword is a cane that tastes like crab cake 213 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,160 He wears a fine belt and a leather cravat 214 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,760 And there's a cute fuzzy thing which hangs down from his hat 215 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,440 [jingles] 216 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,320 [purring] 217 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:09,280 - [crickets chirping] - I have shamed myself. 218 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,320 - [all] Ol? - All right, everybody, 219 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,400 if you leave now, you can beat the holiday traffic. 220 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,000 Aw, phooey with all your sunshine and lollipops! 221 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,400 Where I come from, Christmas is a nightmare. 222 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,800 - [sighs] - [clears throat] 223 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,000 'Twas the night before Christmas and the prettiest sights 224 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:30,160 Were my sweetheart beside me in the bright Christmas lights 225 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:31,840 ...until they got home. 226 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:36,240 When they looked at the car door handle, and they found a hook! 227 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,840 - [shrieking] - [laughing] 228 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,720 Gingy, cut it out! You're really givin' me the creeps! 229 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,440 Oh, come on, I was just teasin'. 230 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:46,000 - Come here, you. - [chuckles] 231 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,440 (giggles) Oh, Gingy, I couldn't stay mad at you. 232 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,240 - [rustling] - What was that? 233 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,680 Oh, no, you don't. I'm not fallin' for that again. 234 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,160 No, I'm really, really seriously not kidding. 235 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,920 - Whoa! - Oh, Gingy! 236 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,880 - [makes Godzilla shriek] - Oh! 237 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,560 [shouting] 238 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:08,960 - [screaming] - Oh! Suzie! 239 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,960 - [crunching] - No! No! No! 240 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,160 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 241 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,560 - You know that's not how it goes. - You weren't there! 242 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,680 All right, everyone, I've had just about enough! 243 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,840 All I wanted was a nice Christmas with my family. 244 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:28,080 And that's exactly why we're all here! Now, come on, let's finish tellin' my story. 245 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:32,600 Oh, no, Donkey, that's not what I meant. And get out of my chair. 246 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,080 - Oh, hey, what's this? - Donkey, let go of the book. 247 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:40,640 - Why are you whisperin'? - I'm not kiddin', Donkey. Give me the book! 248 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,000 - Heimlich! - Ja? 249 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,600 - No, Heimlich! - Oh, ja! 250 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,120 - [shouting] - Uh! 251 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,560 Whoa! Ah! 252 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:55,360 - [gasping] - Ow! My eye! 253 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,120 - Ow! - Oh, boy! 254 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,160 - Oh! - Ah! 255 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,040 - [shouting] - [giggling] 256 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,320 - Ah! - Drop and roll, Shrek! 257 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,280 - Somebody get some water! - I got it! I got it! 258 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,240 Don't worry, Shrek, everything is under control! 259 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,880 - Oh, boy. - [kettle whistling] 260 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,800 - Ooh! The tea is ready. - [Shrek] Out! 261 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:22,960 - I want everybody out of my house right now! - [shouting] 262 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,040 Ah! Ow! 263 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,800 Yeah, well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas! 264 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:33,680 And if you think I'm gonna give you a present now, you are sadly mistaken! 265 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,400 You want to give me a present? Then go away! 266 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,840 - That's all I wanted! - Fine! I'm going! 267 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:44,240 - Good, then go! - You go and have yourself a merry Christmas, 268 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:48,240 - Ebenezer Shrek! - And a "Bah, humbug" to you too! 269 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,240 - We could come to our house. - Ja, we have plenty of schnitzel. 270 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,680 Now maybe we can... 271 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,920 Fiona? Where you going? 272 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,560 Shrek, you just kicked everybody out on Christmas. 273 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,120 Well, that wasn't Christmas. That was chaos! 274 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,960 Look, I know it didn't go like you wanted. 275 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,640 What I wanted was a perfect Christmas for me and my family. 276 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,440 - That was our family. - You call that a family? 277 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,440 That was a natural disaster! 278 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,040 On Christmas, that's how it works. Yes, it was crowded. 279 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,440 Yes, it got a little out of hand. 280 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,600 - Fiona, they lit me on fire! - Shrek... 281 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:32,360 I had everything under control until they showed up and ruined my Christmas! 282 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,200 - Your Christmas? - I mean our Christmas. 283 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,200 - For you, and the babies. - [sighs] 284 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:43,280 Christmas is not just about you or me. Or even the babies. 285 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,080 You just don't get it. 286 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:51,240 I have to go. I need to apologize to our friends. 287 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,320 Fiona, wait. 288 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:07,920 [sighs] 289 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,680 [# eels: The Stars Shine in the Sky Tonight] 290 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,880 # December is a lonely month # 291 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,840 # In a year of lonely days # 292 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,920 # It's hard to tell which way is up # 293 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:29,320 # Or down or out or through the haze # 294 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:36,200 # It's not where you're coming from # 295 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,520 # It's where you're going to # 296 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,280 I still don't understand why Shrek had to be so mean and cranky. 297 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,200 We were tryin' to do what you wanted us to do! 298 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,880 - What are you talking about? - What you said this mornin'. 299 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,960 You know, you and Shrek wanted to have a big old noisy family Christmas. 300 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,480 No, I said it was our first Christmas together as a family. 301 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,800 A family, right. That's me and everybody else. 302 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,680 Then he lost his temper like that. 303 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,840 You know, Donkey, none of us really asked Shrek what he wanted. 304 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:03,680 Well, I must agree with the Princess. And you, especially, were no Christmas angel. 305 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,720 - You know, I don't remember askin' you anything! - Donkey. 306 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,520 [sighs] I'm sorry, Princess. You're right. 307 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,840 - Even still, Shrek didn't have to be so... - What? 308 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,040 - [yelling] - [meowing] 309 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,720 Pigheaded? Stubborn? Mean? 310 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:20,680 Well, maybe I am all those things, but I'm an ogre, OK? 311 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,400 So here's the thing. [clears throat] 312 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,120 I'm sorry you took getting kicked out of my house the wrong way. 313 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,720 No, wait. What I meant to say is 314 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,360 I know you're all just trying to be helpful in your own irritating fashion... 315 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,920 - Ay, caramba! - Uh, some people can't help being annoying. 316 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,920 - Shrek! - Look, 317 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,080 I shouldn't have lost my temper back there. 318 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,600 - Apology accepted. Let's eat. - Wait a minute. 319 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,880 Now, there's somethin' more to this. Come on now, what's goin' on? 320 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,440 Look, all I wanted was to make this perfect for my family, 321 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:58,440 but I don't even know what Christmas means. 322 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:03,200 The thing is, this is my first Christmas too. 323 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,160 Whoa, hold up, Shrek! You mean to tell me that you never had... 324 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,240 - No. - Not even one? 325 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,640 - No! - You mean no chestnuts, 326 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,640 no Santa, no presents, no stockings? 327 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,800 - [gasps] No nut cakes?! - Donkey! 328 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:16,200 No, none of that. 329 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,640 Ogres don't celebrate Christmas. 330 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:23,040 Ogres don't celebrate anything. 331 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:28,120 Oh, man, now I'm all emotional. 332 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:31,120 - Come here, Shrek, gimme a hug! - All right, that's close enough. 333 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,600 OK, all right, I just... guess I got... a little 334 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,560 excited about Christmas and all the presents and mistletoe 335 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,760 and [sniffs] everything, and I forgot that it's... 336 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:43,440 It's about us all bein' together, and I'm... I'm sorry, Shrek. 337 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:47,600 I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry it ended up in a great big fight. 338 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,320 Oh, Christmas is all about big fights. 339 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,440 My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries." 340 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,440 - Usually that someone's me. - Boss, 341 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:58,880 - there is no right way to do Christmas. You just do it. - Ja, with schnitzel! 342 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,680 - [laughing] And eggnog! - [all] And cheese! 343 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:04,880 - And family. - Yeah. And family. 344 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:09,000 So despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times... 345 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,600 Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin' at you. 346 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:16,240 ...it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us. 347 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,560 [chuckling] OK, I guess I deserved that. 348 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,840 - Don't push your luck. - [laughing] 349 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,280 They got you good, Shrek! 350 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,120 That wasn't even funny! Who did that? 351 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,320 [babies cooing] 352 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,120 [Fiona] Well, that's the last of the spare blankets. 353 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,720 Uh, sorry, but this is my spot. I never get the good spots, so I specifically... 354 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,640 [shrieks] 355 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,480 So we are pigs, pigs in the blanket, ja? 356 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:44,800 - Ja. - Ja. 357 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,480 - So this is funny then, ja? - Ja, ja. 358 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:48,880 - This is funny. - Ja. 359 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,040 - Yep, that's a good one. - Good night, everyone. 360 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,960 - It's time for lights out. - Lights out? We can't go to sleep yet. 361 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,720 We haven't heard a bedtime story. Right, everybody? 362 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,280 - Shrek, yeah! - [all shouting] 363 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,800 All right. All right. 364 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:05,240 - [sighs] Don't need this. - [babies giggle] 365 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,520 OK. 366 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,400 'Twas the night before Christmas 367 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,600 Not a swamp rat did creep 368 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,400 As mother and babe played kazoo in their sleep 369 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,360 [kazoo sounds] 370 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,280 Now, the sight of the house would make any ogre droop 371 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,400 For 'twas sickeningly sweet as unicorn poop 372 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,760 Yet who was arriving to help this lost cause? 373 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:32,400 The foul, the vile and handsome Ogre Claus 374 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,760 Hey. How's it goin'? 375 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,560 He looked all around and scratched at his beard 376 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,440 And said... 377 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,760 And said... 378 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,280 This place is worse than I thought... uh, feared. 379 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,240 So he grabbed up his belly and screwed up his face 380 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,840 - And let loose a... - [loud belch] 381 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,920 That transformed the place 382 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,880 With a gleam in his eye His work here was done 383 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,960 And then to the babies he gave One by one 384 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,000 A festering bottle of stinky swamp juice 385 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,400 And for mommy a kiss and a good Christmas goose 386 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,520 - Ooh! - 425 degrees, 20 minutes per pound. 387 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,840 Then digging a finger inside of his nose 388 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:16,040 And giving a nod Up the chimney he rose 389 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:19,520 And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight 390 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:24,840 "Smelly Christmas to all, and to all a gross night" 391 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:29,320 - [bells jingling] - Ho, ho, ho! 392 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,400 Ho, ho, ho! 393 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:35,120 - Ho, ho, ho! - Santa?! Ah! 394 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,280 Ho, ho, ho! 395 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,760 [# The Fairy Tale Creatures: Deck the Halls] 396 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,280 # Shrek the halls with Puss and Donkey # 397 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,840 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 398 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,520 # Christmas time can be so wonky # 399 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,120 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 400 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,000 # As we all descend on Shrek's place # 401 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,480 # Fa-la-la, La-la-la La, la, la # 402 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,120 # Fill his swamp with tinsel and lace # 403 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,720 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 404 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,000 # Christmas time can be such a hassle # 405 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,960 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 406 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,720 # When your friends invade your castle # 407 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,360 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 408 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,080 # Join us here for Christmas leisure # 409 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,440 # Fa-la-la, la-la-la la, la, la # 410 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,040 # Trashing Shrek's house is our pleasure # 411 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,880 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 412 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,720 # Push the chairs back cranks the dance tunes # 413 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,240 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 414 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,920 # We'll be house guests until next June # 415 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,480 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 416 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,240 # Eat the turkey and the cheese log # 417 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:46,800 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 418 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,520 # Guzzle punch and tea and egg nog # 419 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,240 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 420 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,640 # Hail be Shrek through Christmas season # 421 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,200 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 422 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,920 # Seems to be against all reason # 423 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,680 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 424 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,400 # Christmas time we're sure to be here # 425 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,080 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 426 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,600 # Filling Shrek with lots of good cheer # 427 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,040 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 428 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,000 # Fa-la-la-la-la La, la, la, la # 429 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,920 [# I'm From Barcelona: Here We Come Wassailing] 430 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,920 # Love and joy # 431 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,160 # Come to you # 432 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,960 # And to you # 433 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:30,600 # Your wassail too # 434 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,160 # Love and joy # 435 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,360 # Come to you # 436 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,080 # And to you # 437 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,840 # Your wassail too # 438 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,320 # And here we come a-wassailing # 439 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,160 # Among the leaves so green # 440 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,800 # And here we come a-wandering # 441 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,040 # So fair to be seen # 442 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:59,320 # Our wassail cup is made of # 443 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,800 # The rosemary tree # 444 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,480 # And so is your beer # 445 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:08,360 # Of the best barley # 446 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,400 - # Love and joy # - # Love and joy # 447 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,880 - # Come to you # - # Come to you # 448 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,080 - # And to you # - # And to you # 449 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,760 - # Your wassail too # - # Your wassail too # 450 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,080 # Love and joy come to you # 451 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,000 # And to you your wassail too # 452 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,040 # And we wish you # 453 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:35,640 # A happy new year # 454 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,760 # We are the daily beggars # 455 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,800 # That beg from door to door # 456 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,320 # But we are neighbors' children # 457 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,360 # Whom you have seen before # 458 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,160 # Good master and good mistress # 459 00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,800 # As you sit by the fire # 460 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:58,560 # Pray, think of us poor children # 461 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,080 # Wandering in the mire # 462 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,080 - # Love and joy # - # Love and joy # 463 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,440 - # Come to you # - # Come to you # 464 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,880 - # And to you # - # And to you # 465 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,160 - # Your wassail too # - # Your wassail too # 466 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,280 - # Love and joy # - # Love and joy # 467 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:20,680 - # Come to you # - # Come to you # 468 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:24,200 - # And to you # - # And to you # 469 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,520 - # Your wassail too # - # Your wassail too # 470 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,600 # Love and joy come to you # 471 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,040 # And to you your wassail too # 472 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,440 # And we wish you # 473 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,560 # A happy new year # 474 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,200 [# The Donnas: Chrstimas Wrapping] 475 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,920 # "Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong # 476 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,000 # 'Cause it is my favorite holiday # 477 00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:05,040 # But all this year's been a busy blur # 478 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,920 # Don't think I have the energy # 479 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,040 # To add to my already mad rush # 480 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,840 # Just 'cause it's 'tis the season. # 481 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,080 # The perfect gift for me would be # 482 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,200 # Completions and connections left from # 483 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,160 # Last year, ski shop # 484 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,960 # Encounter most interesting # 485 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,040 # Had his number but never the time # 486 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,080 # Most of '81 passed along those lines # 487 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,120 # So deck those halls trim those trees # 488 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,920 # Raise up cups of Christmas cheer # 489 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,080 # I just need to catch my breath # 490 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,960 # Christmas by myself this year # 491 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,680 # Calendar picture frozen landscape # 492 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,760 # Chilled this room for 24 days # 493 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,640 # Evergreens, sparkling snow # 494 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,040 # Get this winter over with! # 495 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,520 # Flashback to springtime saw him again # 496 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,480 # Would've been good to go for lunch # 497 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,480 # Couldn't agree when we were both free # 498 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,440 # We tried, we said we'd keep in touch # 499 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,480 # Didn't, of course till summertime # 500 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,640 # Out to the beach to his boat Could I join him? # 501 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,680 # No, this time it was me # 502 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,640 # Sunburn in the third degree # 503 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,480 # Now the calendar's just one page # 504 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,640 # And, of course I am excited # 505 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,560 # Tonight's the night but I've set my mind # 506 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,360 # Not to do too much about it # 507 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,440 # Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! # 508 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,440 # Could've missed this one this year # 509 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,400 # Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! # 510 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,600 # Could've missed this one this year # 511 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,440 # Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! # 512 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,440 # Could've missed this one this year # 513 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,440 # Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! # 514 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,960 # Could've missed this one this year # 515 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:42,920 Subtitles by LeapinLar