Well, you know that knicker company you've got going?
Do you need someone to run the business side?
(SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT)
CROWD CHEERS
Don't touch me. You're a monster.
You're my fiance.
I would not marry you if you were the last woman on earth.
You didn't seem so keen on the eggplant.
Yeah, the dinner was lovely. I'm just not that big on eggplant.
Sorry.
Kase, the dinner was lovely.
Yeah, apart from the eggplant thing.
Oh God. Just shut up and have another wine, will you?
Hold on. I have got something for you.
(INHALES)
Mr Judd, I'm shocked. You inhaled.
I'm sure you'll get over it, Munter.
You're an upright citizen.
(LAUGHS) Not for much longer. That's good stuff, mate.
Te Puke's finest.
You getting my boyfriend whacked, Munter?
I do believe I am. He might need it.
This is for you. Oh, for me?
Well, for both of you, but, um... Just open it. You'll see.
It's a Love Sock.
Oh right. A love—
Sock.
Oh, so it's not for your foot, then? No.
I designed it. I've been working on the idea — with Munter's help. It's what we should do next.
Do? At Hoochie Mama. I want to design underwear for men.
Hoochie Daddy or Hoochie Boy.
With the Love Sock?
Hey, take it home. Try it out. It will rock your world. Trust me.
OK. Well, that's what we'll do, then. Won't we, Hoochie Daddy?
HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'
# Lying in the gutter,
# I cut the cord from my mother.
# She pat me on the head and said,
# 'Go to sea, boy. Get to sea, man.'
# My luck in the gutter black.
# I guess I'm running back...
# ...to you.
# You in my brain. You in my heart. #
Turn it off. Sorry?
Turn the fucking light off. Is that so hard to understand?
OK.
Where is everyone, Pascalle?
Kamchatka. I like it as a word. I bet it's a shit-hole, but it sounds nice.
Are you going to invade it or not?
You bet your lily-white ass I am.
Bring it on, cannibal.
(LAUGHS) Oh! Oh! Oh! Get off. Hey, Van. How's things in Australia?
It's mine, and you can't have it.
What are you guys doing down here?
Plotting world domination from Australia.
Are you guys hiding?
Oath we are. All Van's fault.
Well, how the fuck was I supposed know?
You ordered the pizza.
Why do I have to get the pizza?
Because we're getting ready to take over the world.
Which way? Other way.
Get on with it, you useless pricks.
ROMANTIC MUSIC
Bruce?
Pizza.
Pizza is Spanish. So how am I supposed to know that they're going to send an Indian?
They all look the same.
Yeah, like Cook Islanders.
And you can take your fucking pizza!
And then she turned on us.
Yeah, it wasn't pretty. Even from one so beautiful.
You— you are all pricks — pricks with pricks —
and I want to cut them all off, so there'll be no more pricks left in this poxy world!
So, you all bravely ran away (!)
You weren't there. Yeah, it was pretty scary.
No, this is good. Like fuck it is.
She's moved to the next phase in getting over it —
from the crying to the anger.
Bring back the crying, I say.
I miss the crying.
Dinner went really well tonight, eh?
Yeah, the eggplant thing was awesome.
Cheryl is gonna love the Love Sock.
I bet they're using it right now.
It's all thanks to you, the Love Sock. You inspired me.
You're the creative one. No, you're my muse.
Like Kees Meeuws? Eh?
The All Black. I can't see him in a Love Sock.
No, a muse. It's got nothing to do with the All Blacks.
At school, Christian Cullen inspired me to run fast. The All Black — not the horse.
Shut up and kiss me.
Are you wearing your Love Sock right now?
Oh, holy haka.
You are all sick.
So, are you wearing it? Yes.
OK. Come on, then.
Give us a hundred bucks.
Tomorrow. Come on. I'm serious.
Wow, that bad?
OK.
(SPLUTTERS, LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY)
Generally, when a woman laughs like this at her guy's dick, the guy can get pretty pissed off.
It's not the dick. You know I love the dick. It's what the dick's wearing.
I'm not the one who has to look her business partner in the eye
when she says, 'So, Cheryl, didn't you just love the sock?'
Oh God, there is that. Shit.
Strangely, though, it's quite comfortable.
I don't care. Take that thing off.
I'll be back as soon as I can. Cool.
Little Stevie bit my mum again. I swear, I'm gonna smack one of them.
Fair enough.
So?
So I have a hangover, and it's all your fault.
You know what I'm talking about.
Oh, the cock sock thing.
The Love Sock. How did it go? And don't skimp on the details.
Well, uh, it was quite a show. Isn't it?
I don't really think I've ever seen anything quite like that in my life.
So, what'd Wayne think?
Um, he said it was pretty comfortable.
Sexy and comfortable.
Without actually being sexy.
You're kidding me, right?
Maybe it's not our cup of tea. What does that mean?
If you get your rocks off with these posing pouches, cool —
thanks for the thought — but I don't think it's our style.
What about Hoochie Daddy?
There'll be no Hoochie Daddy as long as I run this company.
As long as you run it? You know what I mean.
I thought we were partners. We are.
But if you say no, we all go back to our sewing machines and shut the fuck up?
Kase. I can't believe you're being serious about this.
That cock sock is about the stupidest idea you've ever had.
Oh yeah? And whose idea was this company, Cheryl?
It was mine, actually. It was mine. I made knickers way before you came along.
In your lounge, which is where you would still be if I hadn't turned up and turned it into a business.
So you get to say what goes?
When it comes to business, yep.
You bossy cow.
Kase.
What? So she resigned?
She wouldn't. Over a stupid bloody dick sock?!
It's a Love Sock. Whatever.
Obviously it means a lot to Kasey.
Whose side are you on?
I'm just saying she's proud of her idea.
Her stupid idea.
Is it?
Well, are you wearing yours?
Just because it's not my cup of tea doesn't mean it's a stupid idea.
Being stupid does.
There's probably guys out there that are into that sort of thing.
Gay guys. So? They've got heaps of money.
Why are you on her side?
I mean, she's the one who called me a bossy cow and bloody stormed out!
Yeah, well.
What?
No, no. What?
Nothing.
You were about to say something then.
All right.
Sometimes, like now, you can be a wee bit on the forceful side.
(SCOFFS)
Is that so?
But she is, eh?
Are you going to tell her what I say? Of course not.
Then yep, she can be a real bossy cow. Exactly!
What are you arguing about? Bro—?
I have this totally awesome idea, for a product,
but does she give me due?
What's the product? Bro, can you get us another—?
It's called the Love Sock.
Yeah? And how does that work?
Hey, aren't you meant to be meeting Rochelle?
Shit.
I promised Rochelle I'd see her. She's going mental because Stevie isn't sleeping.
Ask Munt about the Sock.
Hey, I was thinking the other day that the best way to smuggle drugs would be up a dog's arse, you know?
Cos when the drug dog sniffs that dog's arse, it'd be, like, 'Ow, that's just dogs being friendly.'
What's a Love Sock, Munt?
Oh, don't go there, man.
Are you wearing dodgy undies?
No, don't go there.
Evening, my friends.
Munter's wearing dodgy undies.
I said, 'Don't go there.'
(GROANS) There's nothing to eat in this house.
If you have something bad to say, don't.
Does 'what's for dinner?' count? Yep.
Me and my baby will starve, then.
Phone Wayne — he's a saint. He'll find you food.
Oh, tetchy.
Wayne is a sick and pervy freak.
That thing he was wearing last night. What thing?
I bet you made him wear it, too, because you're both sick.
I did not make him wear it. Wear what?
I'll be glad when he's gone.
Where's he going?
He's a man — they all leave. They use you and leave,
cos that's what they do. They're all scum. I'm shifting out. I'm gonna live in the caravan.
With Grandpa? No, away from Grandpa.
The caravan's pretty small.
Grandpa can just go live in my room. I need somewhere to be alone. Is that too fucking much to ask?
Stop looking at my arse, you fullas. We're not looking at your arse.
Yes, you are.
There's no panty line.
You guys are sick, wondering what a man's wearing under his trousers.
Then tell us about the Love Sock.
For the millionth time, no.
Hey, guys, you know Mike, right?
Guys. Falani.
Chief Inspector. Oh, is that the time? Mrs Falani will be getting worried.
Ask Munter about his undies.
What about your undies?
Ow, don't you start.
Munter is wearing a Love Sock.
What's a Love Sock?
He knows. No, I don't.
Oh, yes, you do. I saw the way you just looked at him.
How the hell would I know anything about Munter's undies?
Exactly.
What do you know about the Love Sock, Wayne?
Nothing. I'm a boxer man, myself.
Really? Me too.
(SCOFFS) OK, OK.
But I'm gonna find out all about the Love Sock.
Where are you going? Away from here.
Where's Cheryl?
What did you do?
Where is she?
In bed, and she's really pissed off. What did you do?
I kinda suggested that she could be a tad bossy at times.
Would you also go to the zoo, climb into the lion enclosure and poke them with a stick?
Why are you leaving?
Cos I need sleep.
(EXHALES)
Do you wanna talk about it? Not now.
(SIGHS)
Fuck off, Loretta.
I need somewhere to sleep.
You've got a bed in the house. Sleep there.
I can't. What have you done?
It is all fucking Pascalle's fault.
So talk to her.
It's not her, it's Grandpa. You know that noise he makes when he's having his prison nightmare?
< (GRANDPA SCREAMS)
Why has Pascalle moved into the caravan?
She's gone from the crying stage to the hating-men stage.
What? < Break-up stages, Jethro.
Yeah, don't you know anything?
You need to move her on. Where does she normally go after the hating-men stage?
Loving as many men as possible.
Then you get Pascalle fucking in the next room every night.
I grew up with it. I can sleep through it.
Then find her some guys to fuck.
Do you know any guys who are looking for an easy lay?
You don't have friends, do you?
I have friends. They just have standards.
Oh, come on. It's not like Pascalle's a bush pig. Fess up. You're Mr No Mates.
Fuck off, solo mum.
What about Gary? Would Pascalle be into him?
Nah, she doesn't need him in her life.
Ooh, telling. Is he gay?
For Christ's sake, Loretta, it's Pascalle, OK? Find a guy, light the fuse and stand well clear.
How hard can it be?
OK.
Can I sleep on your couch, though?
Nup. Get out.
Hey.
Hey. You, uh, here for the whole day today?
I've got people to see about Hoochie parties, but otherwise, I'm around.
These are Hoochie Mama parties, eh?
Yes. Maybe one day they'll be Hoochie Daddy parties.
Don't think so.
What's your problem? It's a good idea.
No, my problem is that it's a dumb idea.
You're closed to the idea?
We make women's underwear. That's our core business.
Core business? God, listen to you. You sound like a fucking suit.
Well, someone has to if we're gonna stay in business.
We're doing OK. Try something new.
You don't have debt up the wazoo.
So because you owe money, it gives you the right to piss on my idea?
I cannot afford for this business to start losing money.
Thanks (!)
You know, it is possible for you to have a shit idea from time to time.
Cheryl, this is not a bad idea.
If we throw money at this and don't get it back, then it's bad.
How do you know we won't? Because I'm a fucking suit (!)
You know what your problem is? Yeah, I'm a bossy cow!
You don't know how to open your mind.
What? You don't know what sexy is.
Well, I'm sorry that my life isn't the sexual freak show that yours is.
That's it. I quit.
Oh, fine. Great.
I can't do this any more. I can't work with someone like you.
Fine. Go.
So, if she wants to walk out, fine.
Let me get this straight. You broke up over a piddling piece of cloth?
No, it's not that.
If I can't rely on her not to throw her handbag down every five seconds, stuff her.
This is your best friend you're talking about.
No, no, this is about business.
It's about paying bills, and I've got some big fucking bills to pay.
CELLPHONE RINGS Life's like that.
Ain't that the truth? You should get that.
Hello.
It's Munter.
Yeah, hi.
Yeah, is, uh, Mrs West with you?
Just nod if she is. Oh, no, no, no, that's not gonna work.
Um... Say 'yes' if she is. No! That'd be too obvious.
Say 'no' if she's there.
Hold on a minute. Sorry, honey, I've gotta take this. It's business.
Fine. I'll get out of your hair, then.
Yeah, she's gone, Munter. Yeah, you know what's going down?
Yeah, got it both barrels.
I think me and you are in the same waka, paddling Shit Creek.
Yeah, we should talk about this.
Yeah, um... You know Frizzell Crescent? Yeah.
There's a path that cuts through to Buchanan Park.
There's a bench, right?
Or we could go to the Rusty Nail?
That could work.
Hi. Hey.
Phone number?
Can't remember.
Password? Arse-kicker.
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
You've actually got a couple of late fees owing.
Yeah? Yeah. Do you wanna sort that out now?
Cool. Cool.
Because there are ways and ways of sorting out late fees.
What?
What what?
The text you sent me. 'Help. At Video Hut. Need you now.' I don't see any emergency.
I met a guy.
Well, bummer for him. What's that got to do with me?
No, I met a guy for you.
Shawn?
'Sup.
I wouldn't fuck him for practice.
Yeah, Kasey's gone all quiet on it, which is a first.
Oh, top-up? Yeah, sure. Better stop this shit before it goes too far.
Yeah, if it isn't there already.
So true.
Some days, I just don't get chicks.
You know, I dig them and everything, and the parts I get, I really like,...
but then they go all mental, you know? Fuck, I just so don't get it, man.
They are strange, elusive creatures.
Yeah, that too.
OK. Time to do the business.
What business?
You know — the business that'll sweeten her up.
(PANTS)
Do you think she's right? Who's she?
Cheryl. Do you think the sock's a stupid idea?
No, of course not.
It's your idea. You know what else I think?
What?
I think you need to take some time, stop thinking about work and Love Socks and all that.
You think? Yeah, sure.
Uh, good advice. Goodnight.
Eh?
Hey. Hey.
(GRANDPA YELLS) ↑
PASCALLE: Shut the fuck up! ↑
Should someone check on him?
Fill your boots.
You talk to Kasey? When?
Since last time I saw you.
Nah.
It's funny how the ball bounces.
Some lawyer costs a fortune to keep me outta jail, and the price is your best friend.
That's profound (!)
Well, you're not exactly saying much.
She walked out.
Well, talk to her. Fuck, talk to somebody.
What are you worried about? This isn't your business. Yeah, it is.
I borrowed the money. I will pay it back. Now leave it alone.
This is my business because I'm the guy who shares this bed with you. I share your life.
You don't have to if you don't want to. That's cold.
If I'm such fucking hard work, you don't have to stay. You can do what you like as far as I'm concerned.
Is this what it was like with him? Who?
I'm not him, so you don't need to keep me at arm's length.
This is not about Wolf, OK?
No, because he's gone and it's just me.
Look, I've had a shit day. I really don't need more grief from you.
(GRANDPA YELLS, MUMBLES)
Please, can you forget about my baby just once? I need unconsciousness.
They say warm milk does the trick.
Going by the snoring, she's asleep, so it's probably safe to go back to bed.
You heard. I hear everything now I've given up sleeping.
She's a hard woman, your mother.
She's my mother. You think I don't know that?
(SIGHS)
(SCOFFS) Can you spare it (?)
I'm thinking of your unborn child.
(SIGHS)
What are you doing in here?
I couldn't sleep.
What's wrong with the caravan?
It smells funny.
Oh, really. That's so terrible (!) As opposed to having to listen to the trots half the night,
then Grandpa on the phone to his phone sex regular, then Grandpa finishing off the job himself,
and the nightmares. His nightmares, not mine. Mine are yet to come,
because having nightmares requires having actual sleep.
I thought that thing that you did today was really cruel.
What?
You know how I feel about guys right now, and yet you shoved that guy in my face. You know what I mean.
I'm just trying to move things along.
Where? You know, the stages.
I don't have stages.
Yes, you do. You bored me shitless with them when Hayden—
When Hayden what?
You said that you have to move through the stages.
I think maybe you're the one that needs to move through the stages.
No, you are in the 'hate guys' stage and you need to move on to the 'fuck guys' stage.
It's what you've always done.
(GRANDPA MUMBLES LOUDLY) ↑
What the fuck is that?
JUDD: Shut up, old man! ↑
Breakfast?
I've been thinking. Do you know what I've been thinking?
That, uh, after breakfast, we should have a shower together?
No, about work.
That maybe you could, um, ring Cheryl, and maybe patch things up?
No. I've been thinking about going into business together.
I can be the designer. You can be my muse. OK.
Hoochie Daddy,... except I'll have to come up with another name.
So, as a muse, what would my jobs be apart from musing?
Modelling, mostly, at first,
and then maybe something in management.
Modelling the Love Sock?
And other designs. In public?
No, at Hoochie Daddy parties. You can run them.
What's the problem?
You don't believe in what I'm doing.
Look, it's not about 'believe', OK?
It's all about 'believe'. Either you believe I can do this or you don't.
Of course you can, babe.
You don't want a part of it.
It's not about being a part of—
Yes, it is all about being a part of something.
You know, unless you're just another one of those useless guys
who just wanna live off me like some life-sucking leech.
Eh? Come on.
For the first time, I ask for your support and you can't be arsed. You know, stuff you, Munter.
I don't need another fucking loser in my life.
Best bed I've ever slept in, that one, as far as actually sleeping goes.
The waterbed I shared with Rita in the late '70s was great for rooting,
once you got in synch with the wave action, but this one — lights out the moment my head hits the pillow.
I'm so thrilled for you (!)
(CLEARS THROAT) I found these under the bed.
Bedtime reading.
(SIGHS)
Don't you care about what he's already done to this room?
Your room? Men fuck everything.
Please, Pascalle.
It's all right for you, you've escaped, but what about me?
What about you?
You're not the one who's surrounded by men.
I'm not sharing the caravan.
I don't wanna share the caravan.
No, you want me to fuck strange guys.
Look at you — dumped for all the wrong reasons for the first time in your life.
Thanks for the reminder.
And look at me — knocked up to some bastard who's skipped the country.
True.
All I'm saying is that, for once, we're actually in the same boat,
so what about a bit of sisterly support?
From you?
As your sister, and as a fellow woman.
You're a girl, not a woman.
All I'm saying is, how about we go out for a drink?
You're not allowed to drink.
It's a figure of speech. Just you and me, together. No smelly boys.
My shout.
OK.
Cool, and you can drink all you want for both of us.
OK.
Chicks, eh. No way will I ever understand chicks, mate.
Just when you think you're getting close,... boof!
Blow your fucking mind. They just, they—
Shut up, Van.
Not in the mood, bro.
Is this all cos of those gay undies you fullas are wearing?
We're not wearing the undies, Van.
Nor me. I couldn't find any clean ones today. I'm going commando.
Well, they must be some pretty amazing undies to cause this much grief.
Either that, or you guys are a couple of fucking idiots.
Fuck you, losers. If there's one thing I've learnt,
being in a real relationship with a real chick is the best thing. You don't just piss that away.
OK, Mr Expert. You tell me how I'm meant to get Kasey to believe that I'm not some useless loser
sponging off her just cos I don't want nothing to do with her undies.
(SCOFFS) But I ain't got no job. I don't contribute shit. Maybe I should just piss off.
And when you've finished that, you could tell Cheryl that I'm not your father,
and if she wants me as part of her life, then she can stop treating me like I am.
This isn't good. No, it's shit.
Shitty shit. Hey, Mum.
What are you doing here? Talking to you.
OK.
Um...
So talk.
OK. I was at the pub before, and, uh, there were these guys there — you might remember one of them —
name of Judd. Actually, both of them, because the other one was Munter.
I was trying to figure out how this whole gay-undie thing turned into World War IV.
Well, maybe you should ask Kasey—
Ah, ah, ah, I'm not finished talking yet.
Cos the shit they were talking made it sound like they were thinking of calling quits...
on Kasey and on you.
Not gonna happen, Van.
But I thought you and Kasey were, like, best mates before these dumb undies came along.
And I thought you and Judd had a good thing going, especially seeing as he stopped being a cop for ya.
(EXHALES)
Look...
I've had a pretty fucking bad year.
I'll do anything to stop it from going bad for you guys.
Anything.
KNOCK AT DOOR
Hey.
Well,... it all turned to shit, didn't it?
Do you wanna?
# You got nothing to lose. #
I thought you said this was a girly night, no smelly boys.
You don't have to talk to them.
What do you want? To go home.
Champagne cocktail, then?
In your fucking dreams.
Dick. If it was me, I would have served you without asking.
That was pretty much the worst opening line ever, wasn't it?
Pretty much.
Is 'Hi, I'm Trent' any better?
Not really.
I'm Loretta.
Hi, I'm Trent.
Yeah, I got that.
Right.
Um, so, what do you do, Trent?
Well, uh, I wish I could say something cool, like, 'film-maker', but, um,... I'm a traffic engineer.
A traffic engineer.
Yeah, you know — roads, getting cars from one place to another.
In Auckland? You must really suck at your job.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
But you think that being a film-maker would be cool?
Sure. What do you do?
I'm a film-maker.
Do you wanna come have a drink with me and my sister?
Yeah.
Here you go.
Pascalle, this is Troy.
Uh, Trent.
Trent, this is Pascalle.
Hi.
What happened to girls' night out?
Trent happened.
How?
It's not important. The important thing is that I've sorted it.
How?
I said it's not fucking important. The important thing is that Mum's gone around to Kasey's to sort it.
Without a police escort?
This could go very very wrong.
But Kase, it's a stupid idea.
You think all my ideas are stupid.
No, I don't. Just the ones involving posing pouches.
OK, well, do you have a better one?
We don't need one is my idea.
Uh, no. We have to sort this. We agreed.
Call Rochelle.
Mum. Did you mean what you said about doing anything to put it all right?
Yep. Why?
Right. Yep, OK. No, I did mean what I said back then, but...
Mum. Yep, all right. Yep. I love you too.
OK. Bye.
Phew.
I gotta go. Where?
Oh, nowhere. >
I don't like films much.
Yeah, you do. You liked Legally Blonde.
Yeah, but who didn't?
I haven't seen the films you guys like except for Princess Diaries, but I don't remember any bikes.
That's because we were talking about Motorcycle Diaries,...
but you're right, we should stop talking about films.
Did I tell you that Pascalle used to be a model?
Cool. What sort of modelling?
Retail tyre brushes, mainly.
Do you guys want another drink?
Please. Sure.
I told you, I don't do stages any more.
You need to move on.
Yes, and this is me, moving on.
Pascalle.
You guys are dicks sometimes.
You're here as our friend. Don't abuse that position.
I'm like Batman — the phone rings and I race across town, pausing only to leave the baby at Mum's place.
And my decision is final?
Batman can leave at any time.
Mm. Yes, your decision is final. Cheryl?
Yes, your decision is final and I'll abide by it. If you like the stupid Cock Sock, we'll make it.
Kasey?
If you reject my quite brilliant idea, I will live by that.
So cool.
OK, then — let's get this show on the road. Come on out here, now.
No. ↑ Hey, hurry up.
Get fucked. ↑ (GASPS) That's no way to speak to Batman.
Eh? Van, love, come on. Get your arse out here now.
And we do mean 'arse'.
Hey, that's my robe.
Well, I couldn't find Munter's.
Yeah, Munter doesn't have a robe.
Munter doesn't usually wear anything round the house.
We don't need to know that, Kase. Fucking A.
And why are you wearing a robe anyway? It's not what I paid to see.
(EXHALES) This is weird in front of my mum.
Oh, come on, Van, get over it. Look, I won't watch.
Man.
(GASPS) Ooh.
Oh, yeah, if that's a bit loose, it's because I made that one for Munter.
Well, it's not loose.
Actually, if anything, it's a bit tight.
Yeah, right.
I, uh, I need to see the back.
There is no back. That's what I need to see.
Mum?
< Oh. Ooh, it's hot.
Hey, no, I really need to see the front again.
What? Well, it's a really important decision, Van.
Oh, what — you want me to do a little sock dance (?)
Yes! Actually, that's a really good idea.
You're hot. Come on. All the girls down at the pub are saying how hot you're looking at the moment.
Like, sexy sexy hot.
BOTH CHANT: Va-an, Va-an, Van the man, Van the man.
< Come on, baby. Shut up.
You know you want to. Look at you.
Let's see what they're all talking about.
I like it. Van, you are the man.
GIRLS SQUEAL
Who's your daddy?
Oh God, hot. Check it out!
ALL LAUGH
(SCREAMS) Show's over.
Don't stop on our account.
You was working it, bro!
BOTH LAUGH
OK, Rochelle — come on.
Oh. OK.
Well, I've been thinking, and, um... No, no, I'm still thinking.
But...
the boy undies are...
Well, they are 110% awesome, and we should so make them.
(CHEERS)
Rochelle, you can't be serious.
You promised!
All right, all right — we will make the fucking cock sock.
CHEERING, LAUGHTER
I brought up four kids — five if you count Munter — pretty much on my own, you know?
Wolf was around, but I could never trust that. Sometimes he'd disappear for days, weeks even.
That's just the way things were in our line of work, and it didn't pay to ask questions, either.
Turns out,... you know, part of what he was doing was having a whole other bloody family. (CHUCKLES)
But the point is, this is the way I've always done things, you know? I've just got on with it.
I haven't hung around to discuss every bloody thing.
I'm just not used to being around a good guy.
Is this you trying to apologise?
(LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)
I'm not very good at it, eh?
(LAUGHS) So I noticed.
I guess... I guess I'm just... I'm not good when things are good — you know, when they're easy?
Is that what they are?
Shit, yeah.
Then apology accepted.
But don't do it again.
Oh, come on. You know there's no way in the world I can promise that.
BOTH CHUCKLE
What time do you call this?
(GIGGLES) I've waited years to say that.
Shouldn't you be tucked up in the caravan?
It smells really bad.
It smells of Grandpa.
How was Troy?
Trent. Whatever.
He was sweet.
And into pregnant chicks?
I never mentioned it and he didn't comment.
You used him for meaningless sex?
Oh, you have changed.
So have you.
Stop trying to change me back.
It was to cheer you up.
No, you were trying to get me to root some guy so I'd stop hating guys and turn back into a ho,...
except you were the ho. (GIGGLES)
I have hormonal confusion as my excuse. What's yours?
I'm over guys forever.
(SCOFFS)
I'm serious. I'm gonna be like a nun, except I'm gonna wear better clothes, and no church.
You are gonna be celibate?
And you've turned into the world's sluttiest solo mum. Weird world, eh?
Stop trying to change me.
As long as you promise to shift back into your room.
Done. It smells really bad.
Wanna watch Legally Blonde?
(EXHALES) The world's fucked up, so why not?
Cool.
(MOANS) You're not a loser.
I'll get a job... just to prove to you what a loser I'm not.