Rosita Alvirez died
Her mamma told her
"Rosa, you can't go out tonight"
"Mom, I'm not to blame
"For liking balls
"For liking balls"
Hey!
I'll get that, I'll get that!
Coming!
Hello?
What's up?
I'm on my way.
Mom, can we go with you?
Where are you going?
No, babies, where I'm going, I have to go alone.
Go inside and play, okay?
Nelly, please.
Let's go, José!
Yes, ma'am.
I really hate those bastards.
Who, ma'am?
I don't know who I hate the most,
my jerk husband
or my covering, pimping, hypocrite,
lying son-of-a-bitch brother-in-law.
I reckon you hate your brother-in-law a bit more.
They're both assholes.
Some people are real assholes.
That's what I'm telling you, dammit!
Right. Assholes who marry assholes.
They even have kids with them.
Hey, fucking José, that was out of line!
Go work for my husband!
Your foul mouth rubs off on me!
Right, man, but I'm your boss.
True, that's the difference.
I'm sorry.
But the party is about to be over for the two of them.
I'm gonna find you, Germán!
I'm gonna find you, you jerk! You'll see!
When I find you, you'll know what I'm capable of!
Where are you, motherfucker?!
Stop! That's enough!
Out of my way! I'm a member, you moron!
I know!
-Then why are you staring? -You're armed.
These are toy guns, you asshole!
Didn't you play as a child? Now, out of my way!
-Let her go. -Out of my way or you’ll see!
I'm about to kill a bastard!
I'll frighten him to death.
Mrs. del Conde, please.
Hey!
He won't miss. Watch.
Germán!
-Carolina, why are you here? -Why am I here?
Why are you here, you asshole!
Excuse me?
Shut up, you fucking kid! You should be in school!
Honey, when you're silent, you look prettier. Go, I'll catch you later.
"Honey"?
You called her "honey", you fuck!
-Carolina... -Fucking Germán!
So many fucking holes to choose from and you're just fooling around!
Carolina, you and your colorful expressions.
Can we discuss this calmly?
Do you hear what you're saying?
You're asking me to be calm
when your sticking your tongue in a fifteen-year-old!
-She's not fifteen! -Fourteen?
-I want a divorce! -Deal!
But my brother keeps the girls' custody.
Stay out of this!
You covering, hypocrite, pimping, lying son-of-a-bitch!
Listen carefully: I'm divorcing your pussy brother today.
But the mother keeps the custody, you hear me?
No, sister-in-law, the father can keep the custody
if a judge says so.
You may be able to corrupt the whole Supreme Court,
-but you won't defeat me! -Stop arguing!
-Let's discuss this elsewhere. -We're not discussing, brother.
We're talking like civilized adults.
Civilized, my ass!
If you don't want to negotiate, things can get really ugly, okay?
Really? Is that a threat, you asshole?
No, I'm not threatening you, you asshole!
I'm trying to comfort you.
Of course it is a threat!
-Fernando. -Are you going to kill me, or what?
No, that's not my style, but you will
go down, the legal way, the way I like.
"Legal way". You crooked fuck.
Carolina, the girls need a stable family.
They will lack nothing.
They will lack a mother, like you both do!
We'll see about that on the ring, sister-in-law.
"On the ring"?
Why wait?
Let's get this over with now, you motherfucker!
Carolina!
Lowlife!
What are you looking at?
Oh, right!
Whores are here to go whore!
Germán!
Don't run, you coward!
Come here!
Germán!
If I catch you, you'll see!
You'll see what I'm capable of!
You'll see what I'm capable of when I'm pissed!
Germán!
Come here!
Stop, Germán! Stop, I'm telling you!
Just how I wanted to find you, you jerk!
But you'll pay for this!
What about your secretary? Huh?
And our neighbor?
And the hostess?
And your so-called cousin from Martínez de la Torre?
You are going to regret it, Germán!
Gotcha! You'll see!
Carolina!
Oh! jeez!
A boy fell in the pond! Accidentally!
-Help him! -Carolina!
*HOW TO KILL A DEAD HUSBAND*
In fifteen years of marriage, I've never assaulted you.
Come on, fucking Germán, don't play the victim.
Enough with that stupid list of reasons to divorce me!
How many pages have you written?
-About twenty? -Twenty...
Twenty?
As if I was a...!
Twenty is way too much for any human being.
"Never says 'thank you'."
"He's not a romantic anymore."
Especially when you wear my pajamas.
"He doesn't listen to me."
-"His feet smell." -Okay, rewrite that one.
Where I wrote "smell", write...
"Stink"! Son-of-a-gun!
"He won't make love to me."
Please, Carolina!
You started making excuses.
I want a divorce, Germán.
And I want the girls with me!
The girls will stay where it's best for them.
First tell me, What will you do for a living?
The coffee shop.
Oh, right! That nonsense that you started with your friends
to show the world that you're a chef! Bah!
Come on! That won't make ends meet!
You should go to bed.
I wonder how you manage to get an erection with so much alcohol.
What did you say?
That you're a fraud, Germán.
You're a fraud, and you know it!
Oh! You look so outraged!
St. Germán, patron saint of 15-year-old girls!
You're unbelievable!
Listen carefully to what I'm going to tell you, Carolina.
You will get a divorce.
But I'll make your life a living hell.
Cheers.
6 MONTHS LATER...
Sofi, I don't need that. I'm really at ease.
-Watch it, asshole! -You watch it, bitch!
-What are you eating? -Fuck you!
He almost misaligned my "chankras," which I came here to align!
Sofi, I don't need that! Really!
Sofi, honey, I...
-Sofi! I'm fine, Sofi! -THE FORGIVENESS CENTER
I mean, my eggs are drying up!
Honey, eggs don't dry up.
Or do they?
Well, I'm running out, losing them, whatever! Finito!
All your energy is focused there! That way it won't work!
Why haven't you come to yoga?
Because yoga, Reiki, Kabbalah, not a fuck is working!
You are off-center.
I'm off-center... I'm off-center...
You know, Gloria? I'd rather not talk about myself.
I can respect that, no problem.
Do you want to share something?
Ana?
Caro.
Carolina, you look like you're on the diving team.
Come back to the present!
What is it?
My ex-lawyer turned out to be
dumber than my ex-husband and my ex-brother-in-law and I fired him.
Are you serious? You fired your lawyer?
What, moron? Did you expect me to reward him for losing the case?
Please, Carolina, don't talk to her like that.
We are at "The Forgiveness Center".
Ask her to forgive you.
I'm sorry, you moron.
Just look at your "Forgiveness Wall".
Right! That bastard deserves that and more!
Germán has done nothing but humiliate me.
I can't even see my daughters!
Well, you got the SUV.
Do you know what I really feel for Germán?
Hatred!
Carolina, hating is like
drinking poison and thinking the other person will get ill.
No. You need to recover your center.
You need to work on yourself.
If only he didn't exist...!
Enough, Carolina!
After so many sessions you still can't accept it,
let it go or stop complaining!
I can't work like that! So, go!
Come back when you're ready to work on yourself!
You see? That bastard even took my psychiatrist from me!
Spiritual advisor.
-You charge like a shrink! -Caro!
Forgiveness doesn't come cheap!
Do you want to hear what I really feel?
-Say it, girl. -Let's hear it.
I wish that bastard would die!
Well, I'm leaving. My students are waiting.
Ana, I'm sorry, I don't like speaking to you that way,
but I'm really mad.
Don't worry, girl.
-I love you. -I love you, too.
-Ana, you're closing the coffee shop? -Right, before my class.
Thank you.
-Be careful. -Sure thing.
Sofi.
I begged Germán for Nelly to stay with them.
The girls love her,
but he refused, so she wouldn't snitch on them.
He didn't give a damn about his daughters.
Caro, I know it's shitty, but it could be worse.
At least we have the coffee shop and a place to sleep.
You're right.
At least...
I have a roof over my head.
Drive safe, fucker. Given my bad luck...
Right, but Villalvazo is always gambling. Right, I'll call you.
Oh! Nice tail!
-Morning, Claudia! -How are you, Mr. Fernando?
Handsome and in fashion.
Mr. Germán is busy with a client.
Go ahead, Miss.
What's up, bro?
-A client? -Right.
Not bad, is she?
Did you win the case?
No, but she paid in advance.
-It's hot in here. -Right.
Let's go out to the balcony.
Hi, how are you?
That's my furniture!
Nelly! What's going on?
-What...? -Ma'am! Ma'am!
-They're evicting us! -Evicting?
I'm sorry, ma'am. The apartment has a new owner, and he's evicting you.
She can't get kicked out! She must get a notice!
Right. Mr. Fernando del Conde says that you're fucked. Sorry.
That if you fuck with him it will get worse.
Go tell that jerk, hypocrite, lying son-of-a-bitch of my brother-in law
that he will get fucked, by a great lawyer.
And that we'll see who gets fucked. Is that clear?
If you like moving furniture,
go and move your mother's. Come on!
Oh, no, no, no, no...
Caro...
-How did it go? -Cool.
Same babes.
Best asses ever.
is everything all right?
The eviction is done.
I don't know if that was a good idea, Fernando.
Too late, bro. It's done.
Hello?
I can't believe it.
I'm on my way. Don't let her do anything stupid.
-You close, Lucy? -Sure.
Thank you.
The girls ask about their mom.
Germán, do you know how much I had to give the judge for you to win?
-A million pesos! -Why that much?
Brother, brother, we live in a super-feminist country
where women are overprotected.
It's very hard for a man to win a case like this.
I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to divorce Carolina
to hook up with this girl.
Man, I can't believe you.
Mother Theresa could come right now
and convince you to leave a pretty 18-year-old ass
to go back to your psycho ex-wife, man!
-It's funny... -It's not funny, it's pathetic.
No, the funny thing is she calls you a psycho, too.
Sure, a psycho would call a non-psycho a psycho.
It's fucked.
Right, Ana, it's fucked.
You'd better let me die!
Let disgrace fall over me!
Come on, ma'am, eat some bread to make you feel better.
-Come on, Caro. -No.
Leave me lying on a wasteland
to be hit by dengue, sika and chikungunya!
Caro!
You're right.
No.
I won't be defeated.
Now it’s my turn.
You'll see what I'll do to fucking Germán.
Why seek revenge?
Every time you do, it comes back, backlashes, backfires.
And you know how lucky that bastard is.
Right, you should do nothing, it only makes things worse.
You are my friends, you must help me.
-Right. -First, we'll find a kick-ass lawyer!
Ger, I need to ask you a favor.
Can I have one of the offices that you have on this floor?
That would give me... You know...
Height.
Of course! And a secretary.
That will be my birthday present.
Thank you. Today's party is enough.
You are my younger and only brother,
so I have to look after you.
Okay, Sofi, push!
-Come on! -Push! Push!
-Straight! -You're such a hoarder!
I'm sorry.
Seriously, Sofi.
It's only while a find a place.
We'll make do.
Come on! There's a lot to carry.
-How are you doing, Nelly? -I'm good.
Brace yourselves and help me with the fridge, I have a bad back.
Aren't you getting that?
It's Carolina.
Let her call later.
How is it going?
I can't believe this jerk won't answer. Damn!
Oh, no, Sofi! What am I going to do?
Homeless! Where will my daughters live when I get them back?
Girl, sell your SUV!
Are you on drugs? How would I carry my girls?
Public transport, ma'am. It's easy near here.
You can stay here as long as you want, and you can use my bike,
but selling your SUV is not a bad idea.
Right!
What would I tell the girls?
The truth! There's no problem, everything will be fine.
You know that even the longest night comes to an end.
You're an ace, ma'am!
First a castle and then the puzzle, okay?
Okay.
Mom?!
Hey, Mariana! Are you home?
Yes, we are at Dad's,
but he threw a party for uncle Fernando.
Want to talk to my sister?
-What's up, sis-in-law? -I'm just here for my daughters.
-What? Your daughters? -Right, Fernando, my daughters.
Funny, the State does not agree with the fact that they are yours.
Luckily, my brother has the best lawyer in Mexico to watch his back.
You are not Mexico's best lawyer.
You know I am.
But your words offend me.
Oh! You hurt my feelings!
You have no feelings, fucker.
You know what?
That really hurt, so I will kindly ask you to leave.
This isn't your home, Fernando.
It isn't yours, either. Look...
On Monday I will file a complaint
because you haven't respected the judge's decision.
That will be the end of your appeal.
Thank you for paying a visit.
Bye, bye, bye.
Richard!
Yes, sir?
Turn on the fountain, let the flamingoes out,
and see the lady to the exit.
Yes, sir.
-Hey, Benitez! Everything okay? -Ma'am.
-Mariana? -Ma'am.
Mom, I don't want him to hurt you, I don't want you to fight.
I'm going to be fine, relax, baby, okay?
But I'll call you later.
Tell your sister that I love her, too.
And you. I love you both with all my heart. Never forget that.
We love you too, Mom.
We miss you.
What, asshole?!
I will ask you to please leave.
This used to be my house, you asshole!
I'm Mr. Germán's personal chef.
I'm here to check that everything's fine.
Mr. del Conde is very picky.
The last time that he didn't like something
he didn't pay, so imagine.
Let her in. She is like family.
Go ahead, ma'am.
-Give me that piece! -Which one?
-That one! The green one! -Karla?
-Mommy! -Mommy!
Yes, babies! Oh, you cute little things!
How are you doing my dears?
Mom, we missed you! We wanted to see you!
Did Dad let you in?
Sure he did, Mariana! She's here to congratulate me.
Right, Caro?
-Yes, right. -That's why there's a party.
Right, baby, that's why I came to congratulate him.
Congratulations...
-Fernando. -Thank you, sister-in-law.
-Why are you here? -To see my daughters.
With my brother's permission?
I don't need anyone's permission to see them.
Be careful, Carolina. Be careful.
I'll go get a drink
and I'll bring you one to toast for so much happiness.
See you in a bit, girls!
I miss you! So much!
I miss you too!
Do you miss me, Karla?
Dad says that you have a boyfriend and you don't want to see us.
Is that true?
How could I not want to see you? You are...
You are my whole life!
You look very pretty, Mom!
-Thanks, baby. -Carolina!
Ricardo, the lady is leaving. Walk her out.
Dad, let her stay a little! Please!
Mom has things to do, honey.
I'll see you later! Be nice!
We love you, Mommy.
-I'll walk you out. -Let go of me, scumbag.
You will pay for this, bastard!
I don't care if you buy everyone with your fucking money!
You won't take my girls from me! You hear me, you asshole?
You two, let go of me!
Let him kick me out! He's not man enough!
Let go of her.
Did you realize that you're nothing without me?
It's cake time, bro.
Take her out.
You should better die, you son of a bitch!
Jeez!
Let go of me! I will leave by myself!
So cheap!
Mariana.
Do Mom and Dad not love each other anymore?
Huh?
Are they never going to be together again?
Come here.
Don't worry. Mom and Dad are sorting some things out,
so that they can be together again,
but they'll never stop loving us.
I miss Mom.
Yes. I miss her, too.
You know me.
But there are two very important things in my life.
One of them is family.
Family.
The other one is work.
Honest,
hard,
devoted work.
And if there's someone
who has defended
my principles,
my ideals,
it has been, precisely,
my brother Fernando.
He is an earnest person,
an upright person.
He is a man...
What is it, Germán? Are you okay? Richard!
-Are you okay? -Everything's fine.
Are you okay? It's fine.
-Are you sure? -Yes. I'm sorry.
Age and ex-wives take the best of you.
I'm sorry.
Fernando is...
He is...
Germán!
Germán! What...?
A doctor! A doctor, please!
Hurry, Richard, get a doctor!
Brother! What's wrong? Germán!
We need to take him to a hospital! A doctor, please, god damn it!
A doctor!
Richard, hurry!
You're kind of enjoying being dragged out of places, right?
Once Security was taking her out of a nightclub
and she thought he wanted to dance. She was like...
She was drinking that yellow water.
-What was it? Hot beer? -Right! I still think it was pee!
-That's so mean! -What?
I can't believe it! What is it?
But I just asked him!
What?!
Germán is dead!
Bird of ill omen, you fly by day, you fly by night!
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Oh, Caro.
Brother.
Her best friend died.
Why did you leave? No, no, no, no!
I want to die! Take me, Lord! Take me!
Thank you very much.
Why did you say that?
I don't know. You hugged me. I guess I wanted to help you.
Oh, right.
Thank you.
May I ask your name?
Carolina.
-May I help you? -You already did.
Thank you.
Life's...
Life's a bitch, right, motherfucker?
But I forgive you.
I forgive you, Germán!
I forgive you for taking my girls from me.
For taking my friends.
For stealing my dreams.
I forgive you...
I forgive you just because you're fucking dead!
No, no. Not only because of that, I forgive you because...
that's the right thing to do.
One should not hate those who are no longer with us.
On the contrary. One should pray for their soul.
And for the light of God
to light their way to the Afterlife.
To God!
And I have so much to thank you for, Germán.
Because...
Well, because...
Because dead dogs don't bite!
So it's a good thing that you're dead, fucker!
Oh, God! Please forgive me!
Today I have conflicting emotions!
Have a good journey... you motherfucker!
Haven't you found something that you like?
Dr. Marín, I'm confused.
I never stop wondering if I'd be a good mother.
Girl, you'll be the best!
Let me give you a hint to make this decision easier.
You need to find an FP.
FP?
Right. A Familiar Phenotype.
Let's say that it is like a branch coming from a single trunk.
Sometimes kids are too blond, or too black
and that usually attracts uncomfortable glances.
I mean, unless, like Brad and Angelina,
maybe you don't mind them being Asian.
Doc, no one told me I'd have to check so many details.
Honestly, I just want to get pregnant.
Come on, Sofi!
Out there, there are women who call any taco a dinner.
No, you have the opportunity to choose from this gourmet menu
whatever you like. You can't let it pass.
Should I check all profiles, or what do you recommend?
-If you want my opinion... -Yes.
Hold on a second.
Fire.
Look at that.
Oh, God.
D-44.
-D-44. -Read his personal data.
Right. 24 years old.
I'm sorry, doctor, I get nervous.
Tijuana... Lawyer.
-Olympic athlete. Swimming. -That can't be!
He's also a systems engineer,
a model.
Underwear model. Whatever that means.
Well, do you think that he's the right one for me?
I can show you something else. Wait, let me see...
I have a yummy one here somewhere...
Just look at that!
M-14. M-14.
Well, you'll assess that, but the truth is
your profile tells me this is your area.
-D-44, no doubt. -Okay.
We can definitively inseminate you today.
-Today? -Right.
But this is very important:
Please pray two "Hail Mary" for this to work.
Excuse me?
I'm just kidding, Sofi!
No. Science never fails.
-But I'll leave you for a while. -Thanks, doctor.
-What do you think? -Oh, girl!
Did you see that? M-14.
M-14!
There!
Well, enough! You're only hurting yourself.
It's just that I remember when Mariana was about to be born.
He had to do something good, didn't he?
You're right about that.
He did do something good.
-Dying! Son-of-a-bitch! -Come on, girl, that's enough!
It's time for you to focus on your daughters.
And on this place. We need to do something, or we'll go bankrupt.
You know? I know what we'll do.
We're going to do our best, and this is going to change.
We'll do well. Sofi will get pregnant,
I will get my daughters back,
and you...
-I know what you'll do. -What?
Your dance lessons. Let's have them here. Yes!
That way we'll bring a lot of people.
You'll stand by the door.
We'll play your Cuban music, you'll shake your thing,
and I will shake my thing,
Why neither of you helped me with the dishes. You jerks!
Sorry for your loss, Fernando.
Right, Ana, you never know when death will come.
Or love.
-Didn't know you had the night shift. -Yes, I'm here.
Do you still bake those peach pasties?
Pineapple.
Right, of course! Pineapple.
-They're great! What's in them? -Puff pastry...
-My girls? -Coming, José.
Where are my girls?
Where are my girls, Fernando?
I'm here to tell you that, sister-in-law.
-You won't have the girls. -What?
After Germán's death, I get their custody,
given your obvious lack of abilities.
-What are you...? -See you.
What? You don't know what you're saying!
Just drive and say, "Yes, sir." I’m fine!
No spare coins for you, girl!
Come back here, Fernando! Fernando, come back!
You coward!
-Why doesn't he pick up?! -Caro, drink something to relax!
-Fucking men! -Girl, you already got rid of one.
Right! I'd drink to something good. To dead men!
Yes, cheers!
I need to see the document stating I can't see my girls!
-This can't be right! -Fernando must have them.
-You ask him! He'd give you anything! -Oh! He bores me!
I know!
-Sleep with him! -Sure!
He's so hot!
Come on! You've been with worse.
-Come on! -It's mission impossible!
Caro! For Christ's sake!
Do it for charity! For me!
For my daughters, you jerk!
Sure! You want me to sleep with that Atomic Ant!
Mariana is not answering! He must have taken her phone!
Caro, go to Fernando's office and don't move until you read the papers.
-You can do it. -I can do it.
-Fuck, yeah! -Cheers!
Good afternoon, Miss.
I'm looking for Mr. Fernando del Conde.
Who should I announce?
His... Tell him it's Carolina.
Carolina Irigoyen.
One moment.
Hello?
I'm here with Ms. Carolina...
-Irigoyen. -Irigoyen.
Okay. Thank you.
I'm sorry, ma'am, Mr. del Conde is not here.
Fine. I'll wait for him anyway, so I'll write my name here...
No, ma'am.
I cannot let you in.
Look, I need to see Mr. Fernando urgently.
And I know that he is in.
So let me in or face the consequences.
Ma'am,
I'm only following orders.
Okay.
Ma'am...
Ma'am!
Security!
-What? What? -Come with us.
Let go of me, let go of me, let go of me, let go of me.
Let me go! I can walk myself out! I know the way out!
The three of us don't fit in here! It's ridiculous!
Get on a diet!
José.
José, I need you to do me a favor.
-No penguins on the geyser! -What?
No penguins on the geyser!
-On the iceberg, you idiot! -Well, that.
At least the uniform fits you.
Honestly, my waist is smaller, but no problem.
José, come here! Help me!
-Yes. -Come. Look, look.
Lift it! Lift it!
Thank you, José.
-I owe you. -Good luck.
May God be with you.
Hey, where are you going?
I'm gonna...
clean these glasses.
You know how everyone's fingers leave a mark.
It's as if they ate greasy food on purpose.
Ms. Irigoyen?
Ma'am!
Security!
Hey, hey, hey! Where to?
I thought you were not in.
Look, Fernando,
you may bribe half the country, but I'll get my daughters back.
Carolina, everything is completely legal.
I can show you a copy of the will in which Germán appoints me
as their legal guardian in the case of his death.
And now that I see what your new job is
you should go and wash some toilets.
Things will get ugly here!
I want to see the document that says I can't have my girls!
-Show it to me! -Don't be rude, or you'll lose!
That's a sincere advice.
And I sincerely advise you not to be such an asshole!
What's wrong with you, Carolina? The girls are perfectly fine!
Did you know that Karla lost her first tooth yesterday?
His uncle, the Tooth Fairy, left a thousand pesos for her!
You're about to lose all of your teeth, you son-of-a...
-Security! Take her out! -...bitch! You'll see!
If you were so kind.
-Lorena. -Yes, sir?
Please, have someone hang my picture on the reception.
Of course, Mr. Fernando.
And remind me about your promotion.
I'll be glad to.
You are a waste of talent there.
Hello, Mr. Chuy.
Hi, Anita.
-Hey, Lucy. -Hi, Ana.
How are you?
Tell me, how is the day going? How much have you sold?
Jeez!
Well, I won't even tell Carolina, or she'll kill herself.
-What are we going to do? -I don't know.
This place is really pretty, I don't know why people won't come.
Me neither.
Who brings you flowers, you bastard?
You don't deserve flowers!
Sons-of-bitches don't deserve flowers, you fucker!
I hope you're roasting in fucking Hell, Germán!
You're such an asshole, fucking Germán!
You didn't have to study for that!
Ma'am!
-You scared me, man! -Sorry, ma'am.
I won't tell you how to grieve, and it's not like you should cry,
but, coming here and breaking vases?
If you had known him...
Sure, but you shouldn't have done that.
They'll scold me if I allow people to come and yell at their deceased.
-Imagine! -I'll help you clean up...
No, no, just bring a vase some other time.
-Okay. -Good.
-And I'm sorry. -No problem.
Please excuse me, really!
Good afternoon.
Sir, please let me go. I swear I did have my ticket.
It's 400 pesos for a lost ticket.
-400 pesos for a ticket? -That's right.
It's not like it's a ticket for Madonna's concert. Let me through.
Please park over there and find your ticket.
Fuck.
So people who lose their ticket stay here until they die
and then you bury them here?
You see all those?
They lost their tickets and never made it out.
Fuck you!
-Move! -What?
Fucking crazy bitch.
I think you're looking for this.
-Thank you so much. -I found it among the flowers.
Have we met?
Don't you remember?
-You hugged me the other day. -Me?
Right.
Oh! Right... How did you recognize me?
Let's say not many women thrash their relatives' graves.
That's embarrassing. Don't think I always do that.
That day I was...
But you really helped me.
Roberto.
Nice to meet you, Roberto.
May I buy you a cup of coffee, Carolina?
Who told you my name?
Just a cup of coffee.
Look, I'll be really honest.
It's not a good time for me to have coffee with anyone, okay?
I have many problems. This is not a good time. Thank you.
I understand you perfectly, look where we are.
But they say bread takes sadness away. Coffee works better.
Well, you're right about that.
Can I have your number?
Fine. Can you write it down?
-Do you have a card? -No, I forgot my phone in the car.
Here.
Just coffee, okay?
Of course. Deal.
-May I help you? -Yes, please.
-You're such an asshole! -Pardon?
No, not you.
-Thank you, Rafael. -Roberto. Roberto.
Right. Roberto. Roberto.
No, something's not fitting me.
What was that noise?
Yes, an English cut suited your brother
because he was taller.
What are you implying?
Look, Mr. Fernando, for you I'd make a waist-length jacket
because it would go better with your...
build.
No, sir! We, del Conde, have elegance in our genes.
So make a suit for me just like my brother's.
And put some more shoulder pads on it.
You know I have a very expressive chest
and looking wide-shouldered suits me.
As you order, Mr. Fernando.
It's not... It's not that bad.
The lawyer recommended to us is not answering his phone.
I can't believe that fucker is still messing with me after his death!
Caro, this is ridiculous. Can't we just go pick them up?
No, Sofi, I told you! He bribed half the country!
If he feels like it, he'll have me in jail in no time.
I'm not the kind of woman who likes to
make a scene on a graveyard, I respect the dead,
but I should have taken them with me the day of the funeral. So stupid.
Don't blame yourself. You tried to make things right.
He did tell me the day we split: "I'll make your life a living hell."
I swear! That's what he told me! With those bad words!
"I'll make your life a living hell." And he did! That son-of-a-bitch!
I'm fucked. Look.
Are you serious?
Of course, Sofi! What am I going to do?
Solve your problems, like everyone else!
I've been getting inseminated for years, this is my last chance
and if I don't get pregnant, I'll move on.
Right, Sofi, but I'm not moving on without my daughters.
You are certainly going to get them back.
And I have something else.
Yes, a huge bunch of stuff you don´t know where to store.
No, I have kick-ass friends.
Hey, you should go out.
-No, I don't feel like it. -Get your mind off this.
Tell me, how are you doing down there?
It's closed down, you moron.
Well, I'm a piano player,
I teach music and I direct an orchestra.
Wow! Look at you!
That's awesome.
Damn!
I'm so sorry. Did I tell you that I had to leave
because I have an appointment?
Is there something I can do for you?
No, this is something that I have to do alone, and...
Look, I'll tell you something.
Coffee was great.
Thank you very much.
It helped me relax, but...
the thing is, I can't relax too much.
Because...
Well, because...
Right now...
I can't sleep with you, to be honest.
I think you misunderstood me.
-That was not what you had in mind? -No.
-I’d better go, I'm talking nonsense... -Wait!
-I have to... -What are you doing next weekend?
I'm having a concert and
it's something very special.
You need an invitation.
I don't know what to say.
Well...
Thank you very much, Roberto. I have to go.
Bye.
Jeez, ma'am! This is a tough one.
Money is a crucial fact,
and, unfortunately, you don't have any.
But your dead ex did.
And it's weird because his lawyers say the document is missing,
-no one knows what happened... -I'm not following you.
I don't understand why the notary didn't keep a copy.
But that would be illegal, right?
Mexico, 2017. What's legal?
What we need to do is get the original will.
Do you know where it can be?
Yes! I think I do!
Don't tell me, is he really not home?
No, Miss, I told you Mr. Fernando is on a trip.
That shorty is on fire.
He said he'd help me!
-With the bike? -Yes, do you know about bikes?
-Yes, what's wrong with it? -I don't know, I hear a weird noise.
Something like...
-Really? Here? -Yes, about there.
-What was that noise again? -Something like...
Yes. Over there.
A little lower... Lower. There.
On the right.
Now is the time! Relax, it's going to be okay.
Relax, relax. Through here.
This door is always... Look.
-Are you sure, Caro? -Positive! There's no one home!
-How do you know? -I have spies at school and here.
Please, ma'am, José is so stupid!
-Stop complaining! -Go, Nelly, you can do it!
Please, I don't want to go to jail! Please!
That's not going to happen.
-Sofi! To the office, come! -Okay!
Help me here! Come!
Close the door! Slowly don’t slam it!
Quiet! Come over here!
-Look in the file cabinet! -Okay! Okay!
Sofi, I owe you one!
Where...?
Password...
Mariana's birth date.
No, Karla's.
Well, no, Miss. There's nothing wrong with it.
-Okay. -Let's see.
I'll walk you out.
There, Miss, go ahead.
Have a nice day.
Oh, God!
Password, Sofi! Help me!
Your wedding date, wasn't it?
That was the old one, but he changed it!
What?
Try with... the divorce date.
Try that. He might have done that.
-Yes. -Son of a bitch!
-Is this it? -It probably is!
-What is this? -This is not the will!
Ricardo!
-Ricardo! -Yes, sir?
The alarm is not on! Why?
I haven't left my post, sir.
I spend a ton of money on this system and you don't use it!
What were you thinking, airhead?
It's going to be okay.
-It's okay. -We'll go to jail!
We won't go to jail!
You'll go to the hospital, have a C-section, have a baby girl...You’ll laugh about this.
What? I want a natural birth, you asshole!
For that, you are brave.
I have a shitload of money here
-for you to be careless! -There he is!
Jesus!
-I leave and you do this! -Let's go! Now!
Come on!
Now, Sofi! Come on!
Run, Sofi!
Close the door!
This way!
-No! No! -Yes!
No, no, Caro! You know I feel vertigo!
This way we'll get to Germán's room! Come on!
Don't step on the skylight, or you'll fall.
Here!
This way we'll get us straight to his room! -There?
Let's see, Ricardo!
The alarm was off, the floor wasn't swept, what is this?
Nothing, sir, I was careless. It won't happen again.
Right. You always say the same thing! I just leave and...
-It was a mistake... -Enough!
Leave me alone. I'll use the jacuzzi.
Sure, sir. Did you say jacuzzi?
Why don't I get you a Cognac on the rocks, instead?
Cognac, my ass!
Sir... Please... Let me...
What? What is this?
-Did you get someone in the house? -Negative, sir. No way!
What's wrong with you?
Were you going to use my jacuzzi? Cats don't like water!
This is what I get from rescuing you.
I don't know what I was thinking!
-Come here! -Yes, sir.
Mark my words!
This is a huge disrespect! Huge!
I know another way! Calm down!
-Where? -Come, come!
-Follow me. -There's no way out over there, Caro.
Calm down! Come.
Come! Look, this way!
There's Nelly!
Wash that jacuzzi immediately and sanitize it with alcohol!
Got it, sir.
Fucking scumbag!
We'll be with him right away!
-We're going to jump, girl. -What?! No!
Save yourself! I can't do it! No, no, no!
Sofi!
Don't be a coward!
-I hate heights! -We are friends, yes or no?
-Yes! -Well, then
let's walk this path together!
You bitch!
Sofi!
Do this for my daughters! Come!
-You bitch! -Come, give me your hand.
One...
Have you seen bungee videos?
One, two,
and three!
This is not what we were looking for, but this is what we got.
We'll get it, Caro! We're close!
I owe you one, girls!
What are you doing, Nelly?
I just ended up in a jacuzzi with another woman!
Oh, Nelly! What would I do without you?
-Cheers! -To memories!
You know what? The High Sorcerer is coming tomorrow.
-What? -High Sorcerer, my ass!
These three witches are enough.
Tomorrow is a Sunday! I need to rest!
Tomorrow, Sunday? Roberto!
I'm so embarrassed!
Something came up and I am late.
What? What is it?
Don't worry. Come, I want to show you something.
So... how was it?
Great.
-Was someone out of key? -No, everything was perfect.
Wilson.
Hey, gorgeous.
-I'm glad you came. -Thank you.
-Good! So nice! -You look very pretty.
-Thanks. -Gorgeous.
Thank you.
SALSA SATURDAYS
Wow! This is so nice!
Did you really do all of this...?
For you.
I'm sorry, Roberto, that I can't believe this, but...
I'm not used to this, you know?
Well, it's been a long time since...
You are the first person who's ever had dinner with candles with me.
Well, then... cheers. To perfect strangers.
Cheers, to not being strangers anymore.
I'm sorry!
How is your daughters’ problem going?
Good, I'm very happy because I'm going to get them back soon.
I have a kick-ass lawyer, and
I'm really happy.
I love it when you smile.
We are making a sequence.
Watch us and then follow after us.
Lucy.
Music!
We'll be here every Saturday, so come!
Thank you.
Hooray!
Shake your booty!
I can't believe it!
If we keep this up, we'll be afloat in no time!
You had such a great idea!
Yes, I knew it! It's awesome!
-What? -From tonight's last mojitos.
-All of this. -Really?
You're great at fixing mojitos, girl!
I am!
I never imagined I'd experience this again.
If I live to be a hundred,
one hundred years I'll think of you.
Well, tell me more!
Well, he's smart,
sensitive, well-read.
Nothing to do with that show-off, Germán. Exactly the opposite.
And he's a widow, you know?
-So young! -Tell me, did he stir you in here?
-Yes. Actually, he did. -In here?
-He did, Sofi. -What about here?
-He did. -Here?
Yeah, okay, that's enough.
Tell me about you. How was Salsa Saturday?
It was crowded!
Ana had the idea to sell mojitos! It was insane!
Was the sell good, Sofi?
Caro, if we keep this up, we'll open a franchise within a month!
Fuck, yeah, Sofi! Way to go!
I have a pair of kick-ass friends!
Damn right!
I'm here because my friend told me you are a lustful man.
-I'm sorry! -A clairvoyant, girl!
Caro, he's the High Sorcerer.
You know? I can see, on the left side of your aura,
you have a vibrating frequency...
Well, plain and simple: you're carrying a dead man.
Fuck me.
He's there with you, he is obviously someone who died,
-but won't leave your side. -My jerk ex-husband.
He won't leave me alone!
I'll ask you something very hard to do.
Hold no grudges, it's no longer time to carry worries.
Don't hate him, either.
I want you to take some cards out. Take some cards out.
-I'll interpret them. -Shuffle them. We'll see.
Let see. What is my card?
No, give it to me to interpret it.
-Relax. -Look.
The first card is a tower.
Your life is falling apart. You're life is...
Look at it. Observe it. Perfectly.
You're literally hitting a tower.
What can we do?
I'll do a spiritual cleansing.
We are cleansing our sister to free her
from that spirit that she's carrying.
We are going to surround him with rose petals.
A man on your way
with the letter "R".
-"R"? -"R"!
-"R", as in... -Roberto!
I didn't see you coming.
I'm sorry.
What I mean is...
I never imagined this could be so awesome!
It's just that you're...
so nice, so...
such a gentleman, so...
so smart!
So...
So funny!
That I didn't imagine that you'd have the whole nine yards!
Wow! I'm flattered.
I'll have to find a way to reciprocate.
Are you also going to tell me all of my virtues?
No.
I have a better way to surprise you.
I think I'll move those cakes over here
and I'll place the water bottles over there.
Miss Ana.
From my boss.
Thank you.
-You're welcome. -José!
-Yes? -How are the girls?
Oh, Miss! They miss their mom so much.
But they're fine, all in all.
Mariana is always saying that their mom is going to take them
-as soon as she solves her problems. -Tell them we miss them,
their mother loves them and she'll pick them up soon.
-Perfect. -Thank you.
Ana, see you tomorrow.
This is for the coffee.
-It's very good. -Thank you, Mr. Chuy.
Here, take these flowers.
For me?
So, José?
Was she thrilled? Did she like them? What did she say?
Yes. She said thank you. Very pretty.
To thank you for being our star customer.
Thank you.
But, you did feel the chemistry between us, right?
Sure.
Yeah.
If you were not in a hurry,
I'd fix you the best French toast you've ever tried.
That's what I am.
-Hungry? -No, in a hurry.
Hello?
What is it?
Excuse me, you told me to ring as soon as I had news.
Yes, tell me. What is it?
They found the original will at the notary.
-So? -It's not good news.
The copy that we have is authentic.
That can't be right.
Your late husband appointed his brother,
Fernando del Conde, as your daughters' legal guardian
in case you were mentally of physically incapable
-of taking care of them. -Mentally incapable?
I'm perfectly sane, sir!
There's a document saying that
you're unfit to be your daughters' legal guardian.
Son of a bitch!
Hey, it's not my fault.
No, not you. He is.
We can fight, but he's powerful. We'll need a lot of money.
You know what? Wait for me, I'm on my way.
-Is everything okay? -No, everything's not okay!
What am I doing sleeping with you
when I have two daughters to recover?
Fucking Carolina!
Playing the infatuated teenager!
-Jeez! -Hey, Carolina...
-What? -I understand.
But you should know I'm on your side.
You can count on me for anything.
-I really care about you... -You care about me?
Why? Because we had sex?
Oh, come on! I'm probably your one-night stand!
-I don't recognize you. -Well, this is me! How do you like it?
Get to know me!
What about you? Why do you pretend to be
caring, well-learned, gentlemanly?
I know you have a dark side, like all fucking men!
Caro, don't do this.
-Don't ruin this. -I'm ruining it! Okay?
This is me! Self-destructive
and bipolar, or whatever!
I know you have issues. Maybe what you need is time.
Right, I need time, like your little song.
About "A Hundred Years"!
COME TO THE COFFEE SHOP. URGENT !!!
Well, if I'm forgetting something, keep it for me, please.
-What is it? What's the emergency? -They closed us down!
-What? -Ladies, I'm just doing my job.
As you can see, the file's here.
What file? What's he talking about?
-Selling alcohol without a license. -We don't sell alcohol!
-This is a coffee shop! -He's talking about Saturday.
You have five days to pay the fine before it builds interest.
Five days. Excuse me, good afternoon.
Because of your great idea!
The lessons were my idea, but the mojitos were yours!
Sofi fixed them!
Well, Lucy sold them!
Don't blame me! I followed your orders!
You were drunk!
Hey! Enough! This is Fernando's doing!
Jerk! Bastard! Scoundrel!
Damn him!
Hi, good afternoon. Welcome to Acura.
Thanks, good afternoon.
-Good afternoon. -Hi.
Let's check the car and then we'll send you a check.
This is all I have left to keep on fighting for my girls.
Don't worry! I'll do my best!
Thank you. May peace be with...
-Have a nice day. -Ma'am, don't worry.
May God be with you. Everything will be fine.
What else do you want, you motherfucker?
I have no love, I have no daughters!
Not letting me be their legal guardian
and leaving them with your fucking brother to keep them from me!
That's cruel, Germán! Cruel!
So, it is you who crushes my flowers!
I know you're still asking for the will and the custody papers.
I've demonstrated you that everything is perfectly legal!
I know what "legal" means to you.
Not to you!
To him! You're nothing but this fucker's shadow!
You're a cheap copy, and nothing more!
No, Carolina, you were his shadow during the 15 years of your marriage!
You two split recently, and no one remembers you.
Maybe, I don't know...
not even your daughters remember you.
We have such a great time together.
"Uncle, let's play!" "Yay! Uncle!"
I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch!
Here! Flowers for you!
Fucking crazy bitch!
Hold it! One second!
We're not on the same tempo.
Cellos are joining a tad late.
So let's start again, please.
Perfect!
That's the tempo!
Carolina?
Let's take five, minutes off please.
Thank you.
How are you, Roberto?
I've been calling you, but you won't answer the phone.
Forgive me already, will you?
Apology accepted.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need some fresh air.
Wait, wait! Roberto, don't go.
Don't be like that.
I need to talk to you.
Look at the state I'm in. Understand me.
What do I have to understand?
That the world spins around you?
That only you have problems and grievance?
No, of course not. That's not it.
-But... -Let me tell you something, Carolina.
Just two years ago I lost my wife in the most painful way.
I've been trying to put myself together. I'm barely doing so.
But at least I'm trying.
Every day I try to be the best version of myself.
But I won't follow you, I've touched rock bottom and I'm not going back.
I don't want to be there, either.
That's what you say, but you do the opposite.
You are not self-confident,
you don't forgive yourself.
The truth is, I don't know what they did to you.
But something is very clear to me.
For me, life is ahead, not behind, where you see it.
I think I can't forgive myself for letting others boss me around.
We should take responsibility for our actions
and stop victimizing ourselves.
Have a nice afternoon, Caro.
How did it go, ma'am?
Good, Nelly, everything's fine. Thank you.
Nelly...
thanks for all that you endure for me.
Because you have always been there.
The truth is,
for me and for the girls,
you are the best that has happened to us.
Oh, ma'am.
You are like my family.
You helped me when I needed it the most.
I just wanted to thank you.
Ma'am, there's something that I want to show you.
Look.
I found this on Mr. Germán's night table.
Right by his bed.
And he has a picture of the girls, too.
Time's such a bitch, right, Nelly?
-So? -Germán had offshore accounts.
-That's not a felony. -Having money abroad isn't.
Tax evasion is.
Look at the amounts!
What an asshole! Fucking Germán.
Too bad dead people can't go to jail.
Right, but his accomplice brother can.
Fernando transferred all that money to an account in Panama.
What do you think?
-Those two assholes... -The only kind there is, my friend.
Don't get discouraged.
Good afternoon.
-Hello. -I'm here to see Mr. del Conde.
-What's your name? -Ana. Ana Nuñez.
Just a second, please.
Hello?
-I'm here with Mrs... -Miss, please.
I'm sorry.
I'm here with Miss Ana Nuñez.
Of course.
Thank you.
-Sign the register, please. -Sure.
Good morning, Claudia.
I'm bringing some pineapple pasties.
-For that jerk. -Ma'am!
Ma'am! Where are you going?
Hey! What is this, Claudia?
Did you really think Ana would fall for you?
Thanks, Claudia. Dismissed.
Oh! Those were a gift from me to Germán.
Hideous, but he always loved that kind of shit.
Everything is exactly the way my brother left it.
I've just followed his will.
Your lack of personality prevents you from changing anything, right?
What do you want, Carolina?
I've just complied with Germán's orders.
As far as I know, dead people can't give orders.
You know that very well.
You've been moving Germán's money as you please.
What are you implying?
Fuck, yeah!
You broke into my house.
Why don't you understand
that he left everything to me and I won't be sharing it?
And I see that you’re not sharing it with the IRS, either.
It's a copy.
What do you want?
I want to you hook you up with Ana.
You moron! What do you think I want?
Are you threatening me, bitch?!
No, asshole, I'm trying to comfort you
because my friend's not interested in you.
Damn right I'm threatening you!
So, what? Are you going to kill me?
No, that's not my style.
But you will go down, the legal way, the way I like.
You won't get the girls.
You will give me my daughters
and you'll make sure they are provided for!
Provided for.
If you do it that way,
we will be in peace
and no one will know that you've been stealing from your brother's company.
Deal?
Deal.
See you later, brother-in-law.
Former brother-in-law.
No. Scoundrel.
Fucking bitch!
Sofi, are you done already?
Sofi! Come on out!
Here! Let me see.
Wait a second.
I'm going to be an aunt! I'm going to be an aunt!
-God bless you, D-44! -Right!
You moron!
I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry! I thought I'd seen two lines. I'm so sorry!
I'll end up adopting a dog and walking it at La Condesa.
Not that! There's still M-14.
-Who's that? -Oh, girl! He's like this,
like this and like this!
-Really? -He is!
Well...
Come on. M-14.
It's okay, I also like stray dogs.
M-14.
Oh! Hi, Roberto. How are you?
Carolina. What a surprise.
You tell me.
Actually, I'm just here to...
To give you this. Look.
Here, this is for you.
Oh. Okay.
So, how are you?
I'm fine.
Fine? What about your health? The orchestra?
Your house plants? Everything?
Well, it's great that everything's fine, right?
Well, I'm glad.
Well, I don't want to hold you up.
Best of luck, Roberto.
Bye, Roberto.
I'm such an idiot!
Such an idiot! Such an idiot!
IMAGINE...
RISOTTO, WINE, STARS... YOU AND I
THINK ABOUT IT... CAROLINA
Fucking Roberto, I thought you weren't coming.
You did the right thing. With me, you never know.
You know I'm so unpredictable.
Forgive me already, will you?
That will depend on dessert.
Come here.
You smell like oregano.
- Don't you like it? -I love it.
It reminds me of my childhood.
You smell like home,
like family,
like happy times.
When will I try the first one of your desserts?
In fact, I think you will only try the first one.
You won't be able to try the second one.
I have a very important appointment early tomorrow.
The schedule is perfect.
You see? How could I not fall in love with you?
-Bravo! -Please sign here. To reopen.
-Sure. -And this is the alcohol license.
Well, thank you very much!
-Thank you, sir. -See you.
-Thank you. Really… -Your pen.
-See you. -We're getting there.
Just my daughters now.
-I love you. -I love you, too.
Caro...
Mommy!
My little ones!
-My babies! Honey! -I missed you!
I missed you, too.
We missed you so much!
We missed you.
Babies! My cute little things!
-I missed you so much! -We missed you, too!
My cute little things!
You are so pretty!
So pretty! So pretty!
6 MORE MONTHS LATER...
Girl, how is that belly doing?
It's fine! I'm tired but happy.
Oh, God! It's moving.
What did you expect? The father is a salsa dancer!
Jeez! I never imagined you'd sleep with my friend!
Neither did I!
Wait! Who am I?
Mommy, the black man is on fire
I admire you so much, you handsome man...
What would I do without these hands?
You say so, and you cook like a goddess.
I don't like my hands.
Well...
They're beautiful, but...
-They're not. -They're missing something.
-They're a little empty, plain. -Right.
-No manicure, no nail polish... -I mean, they're missing this.
Roberto!
Look... Right now...
How can I explain? I don't think that...
What are your plans for the next hundred years?
Hey! Bitches! Hey!
Come here! Aren't you going to congratulate me?
Look!
Roberto!
Congratulations!
Who's crying? Congratulations!
Sir!
I'm a great cook, you know?
Hey! Hey! Hey! Back off!
Germán...
I'm here to bring you these flowers, Germán.
To make up for the ones that I crushed.
And I'm only here to tell you that...
that I forgave you.
And that I've forgiven myself.
So...
no more crying.
No more shouting.
And no more broken vases.
And I'm here to thank you, Germán.
Thank you for...
For the years of love that we had.
They were good, and they were many.
But most of all, Germán,
thank you for my daughters.
They're the best of my life.
And even if it was so hard getting them back because of your stunt,
I've forgiven you.
So...
thank you very much,
you son-of-a-bitch.
I will love you and remember you forever.
Good-bye, Germán.
Thank you, Patricia for inspiring this story