1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:09,447 --> 00:00:13,447 BOY: “'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, 4 00:00:13,887 --> 00:00:17,407 not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.” 5 00:00:17,847 --> 00:00:20,487 (CHILD SCREAMING) 6 00:00:20,567 --> 00:00:24,047 BOY: “The stockings were hung by the chimney with care...” 7 00:00:25,447 --> 00:00:26,607 (WHIRS) 8 00:00:27,047 --> 00:00:28,087 (CLATTERING) 9 00:00:28,207 --> 00:00:32,047 BOY: “In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.” 10 00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:38,087 And he was. Right there. In my house. 11 00:00:39,007 --> 00:00:41,287 The real Santa. Alive. 12 00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:44,887 That's right, the bearded one really exists. 13 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,407 But I'm getting a little ahead of my story here. 14 00:00:48,527 --> 00:00:50,767 Let's go back, a little earlier. 15 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:55,567 'Twas the day before Christmas, 16 00:00:56,287 --> 00:00:57,407 and all through the pad, 17 00:00:57,647 --> 00:00:59,407 -Okay! -BOY: ...everyone was at home, 18 00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:01,487 even workaholic ol' Dad. 19 00:01:01,847 --> 00:01:03,327 -And Mom in the kitchen -(ALARM BEEPING) 20 00:01:03,407 --> 00:01:05,167 -Oh! -BOY: ...cooking still like a rookie. 21 00:01:05,327 --> 00:01:06,767 -(SIZZLING) -BOY: Scorching the backs 22 00:01:07,047 --> 00:01:09,007 -of the gingerbread cookies. -ABBY: Oh, no. 23 00:01:10,167 --> 00:01:13,687 BOY: And then there's my sister, a parents' delight. 24 00:01:14,527 --> 00:01:18,167 Annoying, bad-tempered, and obnoxiously bright. 25 00:01:19,607 --> 00:01:23,287 And precious little Peter, the family loves him the most. 26 00:01:23,647 --> 00:01:26,487 If he comes into my room one more time he'll be toast. 27 00:01:27,207 --> 00:01:30,647 Then there's me, handsome and true. 28 00:01:31,487 --> 00:01:33,807 The best at everything that anyone can do. 29 00:01:34,807 --> 00:01:37,967 Intelligent, witty, there is no doubt. 30 00:01:38,527 --> 00:01:40,727 Kind, compassionate... 31 00:01:41,047 --> 00:01:42,087 Peter, get out. 32 00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:44,367 But, Danny... 33 00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:46,887 What's the rule about coming in my room? 34 00:01:47,087 --> 00:01:49,167 Never come in your room. 35 00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:52,207 But Dad wants to know when you want to decorate the tree. 36 00:01:52,527 --> 00:01:54,927 I want to decorate the tree on Christmas Eve, 37 00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:57,607 like every other year we've ever decorated Christmas trees 38 00:01:57,687 --> 00:01:58,807 in this family. 39 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:01,367 But it is Christmas Eve. 40 00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:05,887 It's not Christmas Eve, doofus. That's tomorrow. 41 00:02:07,847 --> 00:02:10,967 -Now close the door. -Okay, whatever you say. 42 00:02:14,327 --> 00:02:15,527 Christmas Eve. 43 00:02:15,967 --> 00:02:18,487 -(RAPID BEEPING) -(EXPLOSION) 44 00:02:18,927 --> 00:02:19,927 Christmas Eve? 45 00:02:24,207 --> 00:02:25,727 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 46 00:02:27,927 --> 00:02:28,967 Oops. 47 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:33,847 -Danny: There's a problem with Christmas, -(INAUDIBLE) 48 00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:35,447 DANNY: ...when your wallet is light. 49 00:02:36,687 --> 00:02:38,407 You can't stand your father, 50 00:02:38,927 --> 00:02:41,767 and your sister is just... a little too bright. 51 00:02:43,607 --> 00:02:47,047 You must turn to the one who gets you out of your funk, 52 00:02:48,207 --> 00:02:52,007 Just sell your little brother a whole bunch of... junk. 53 00:02:59,727 --> 00:03:01,447 Hey, sweetie. What's all that stuff? 54 00:03:01,647 --> 00:03:03,487 I've been Christmas shopping. 55 00:03:03,687 --> 00:03:06,647 -ABBY: Shopping? Where? -PETER: Danny's room. 56 00:03:08,007 --> 00:03:10,967 Daniel Francis Wrigley, get out here now! 57 00:03:13,647 --> 00:03:14,687 Uh-oh. 58 00:03:15,607 --> 00:03:17,167 (TICKING) 59 00:03:18,087 --> 00:03:19,847 What about my no-returns policy? 60 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,327 Danny, you are not allowed to shake down your little brother. 61 00:03:23,487 --> 00:03:26,287 He wasn't shaking me. He was being nice. 62 00:03:26,447 --> 00:03:28,647 Pete, he was taking advantage of you, 63 00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:30,647 And he ought to be ashamed of himself. 64 00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:32,207 Don't hold your breath. 65 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:34,207 -Stick a sock in it, Katy. -JOHN: Danny! 66 00:03:34,527 --> 00:03:37,207 What? Okay. Please stick a sock in it. 67 00:03:37,807 --> 00:03:40,687 But, Mom, I want all that stuff. 68 00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:44,687 DANNY: See? Who's the victim here? 69 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,247 He's not complaining. 70 00:03:46,967 --> 00:03:52,127 Come on, it's just like Uncle Nick says, I'm just helping him share the wealth. 71 00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:54,047 JOHN: Uncle Nick, huh? 72 00:03:54,287 --> 00:03:56,407 It's too bad it's always someone else's wealth 73 00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,407 that Uncle Nick is so eager to share. 74 00:03:59,007 --> 00:04:00,567 No. Uncle Nick is the bomb. 75 00:04:01,487 --> 00:04:03,447 He is, okay? You just don't understand him. 76 00:04:03,687 --> 00:04:05,807 ABBY: Danny, Nick's got a lot of good qualities, yes, 77 00:04:05,887 --> 00:04:08,567 but he's not exactly a good role model for you, all right? 78 00:04:08,687 --> 00:04:11,527 JOHN: He's a con artist. DANNY: He's an entrepreneur. 79 00:04:11,727 --> 00:04:14,207 JOHN: Right, okay. He's a con artist with a laptop. 80 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:15,327 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 81 00:04:15,487 --> 00:04:16,847 ABBY: It's not a matter of the presents, 82 00:04:16,927 --> 00:04:18,887 it's a matter of taking advantage of your little brother. 83 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,207 He looks up to you the same way you look up to Nick. 84 00:04:21,287 --> 00:04:22,887 -PETER: Aah! -(SMASHING) 85 00:04:25,367 --> 00:04:27,127 Oh, Peter. What are you doing? 86 00:04:30,007 --> 00:04:31,807 You said it was family money. 87 00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:33,567 (CHUCKLES) Oh, buddy. 88 00:04:34,287 --> 00:04:39,567 Danny's our family and he needs it. I was just sharing the wealth. 89 00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:42,247 Okay, that's weird. 90 00:04:42,327 --> 00:04:46,927 I can see his lips moving, but I can hear Danny talking. 91 00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:56,967 It's okay, Danny. 92 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,727 You can shake me down if you want to, I like it. 93 00:05:00,127 --> 00:05:03,287 Do me a favor, Pete. Just don't, like, uh... 94 00:05:04,687 --> 00:05:09,047 say that in front of anyone, ever again. Okay? 95 00:05:15,287 --> 00:05:18,687 DANNY: Uncle Nick is by far the coolest person in this family. 96 00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:22,567 I don't even know how he and Dad could be from the same parents. 97 00:05:23,207 --> 00:05:25,007 You're the coolest, Danny. 98 00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:29,727 I appreciate that, little dude, but, um... 99 00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:34,607 I got a long way to go to measure up to Uncle Nick. 100 00:05:37,447 --> 00:05:39,207 I bet he's someplace right this minute 101 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:42,887 making a major big-bucks business deal. 102 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:47,207 DANNY: He probably has 'em begging for mercy. 103 00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:49,967 I'm begging you, please don't hurt me. 104 00:05:50,087 --> 00:05:52,647 MAN: All right, Nick. Where's your office? 105 00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:54,847 But this is my office. 106 00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:58,967 MAN 2: Well, then, where are all your highly-skilled employees, Nick? 107 00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:01,967 -Out to lunch? -(MAN EXCLAIMING) 108 00:06:02,047 --> 00:06:04,407 Okay, it's just me, me and my computer. 109 00:06:04,967 --> 00:06:07,607 What are you guys gonna do with me? Who are you guys? 110 00:06:08,647 --> 00:06:12,807 We guys are the guys that got swindled by your phony website, Nick. 111 00:06:12,927 --> 00:06:15,527 Yeah. I guess the name should've tipped us off, 112 00:06:15,647 --> 00:06:17,527 realfastdough.com. 113 00:06:19,127 --> 00:06:21,447 -(CLATTERING ON FLOOR) -You two knuckleheads? 114 00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:24,127 Oh, come on, Bill. Let me slap him. 115 00:06:24,247 --> 00:06:26,367 Let me give him some of that mama's kitchen discipline. 116 00:06:26,447 --> 00:06:28,087 No, Harry. No, no, no, no. 117 00:06:28,247 --> 00:06:32,167 Slapping him will not get back the $30,000 he bilked us out of, 118 00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:34,367 with his bogus little business offering. 119 00:06:36,407 --> 00:06:37,767 How did I get tied up? 120 00:06:38,207 --> 00:06:40,127 BOTH: We ask the questions here! 121 00:06:40,847 --> 00:06:42,567 Where's our money? 122 00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:45,167 Fine. I'll tell you. 123 00:06:45,887 --> 00:06:48,327 First, I put your money into a safe long-term CD, 124 00:06:48,447 --> 00:06:51,607 then I shifted the capital into a real up-and-coming IPO. 125 00:06:51,847 --> 00:06:53,607 Made a killing! 126 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:57,287 Flipped it the same day into some mutual funds, blue chip stocks-- 127 00:06:57,407 --> 00:06:59,567 Nick, please! Where is it? 128 00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:03,887 Well, there is a measure of risk in every investment. 129 00:07:04,687 --> 00:07:06,127 -BOTH: It's gone. -I ju-- 130 00:07:06,207 --> 00:07:08,487 (GROANS) So, Nick... 131 00:07:09,407 --> 00:07:12,327 You did it all here on your nifty little laptop, huh? 132 00:07:12,407 --> 00:07:14,527 Oh, that's nice, very, very nice. 133 00:07:14,607 --> 00:07:17,047 NICK: Yes, please be careful of Lappy. It's very sensitive. 134 00:07:17,127 --> 00:07:19,767 Sensitive? Nick's got a sensitive computer. 135 00:07:19,887 --> 00:07:21,167 (BOTH LAUGH) 136 00:07:21,247 --> 00:07:23,247 You ever see what happens when you pour a hot cup of cocoa 137 00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:25,007 -over a sensitive computer, Nick? -(NICK GRUNTS) 138 00:07:25,087 --> 00:07:27,487 -It ain't pretty. -No, don't, not to Lappy! 139 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,247 -My whole life is on that thing! -(CHAIR RATTLING) 140 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,847 All my account numbers and contacts, businesses. 141 00:07:33,047 --> 00:07:35,407 -All your scams you mean, Nick. -NICK: What scams? 142 00:07:35,487 --> 00:07:36,847 -Oh! -NICK: Okay! 143 00:07:38,287 --> 00:07:43,207 Okay, those too. Just please, don't damage my computer. 144 00:07:43,327 --> 00:07:45,967 (STAMMERING) And, and don't hurt me. 145 00:07:47,487 --> 00:07:50,167 Oh, we're not gonna hurt you or your computer, Nick. 146 00:07:50,247 --> 00:07:53,327 No. We're gonna leave that to our vice president of collections, 147 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:55,407 -Eliot. -Oh, boy. 148 00:07:55,607 --> 00:07:57,727 Another one like you. I don't think I can take-- 149 00:08:01,727 --> 00:08:02,807 Eliot? 150 00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,647 -That's me. -(CRACKS KNUCKLES) 151 00:08:10,687 --> 00:08:11,847 Nice to meet you. 152 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,647 (YELLS) 153 00:08:15,167 --> 00:08:16,287 (SCREAMS) 154 00:08:16,407 --> 00:08:17,607 (BOTH SCREAM) 155 00:08:17,887 --> 00:08:19,807 (ALL SCREAM) 156 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,327 -(CRUNCH) -(NICK GASPS) 157 00:08:22,967 --> 00:08:27,447 Thirty large, in cash, Christmas morning, or you, Nick, are the cocoa. 158 00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:29,967 (NASALLY) I understand, I understand. Okay, please. 159 00:08:30,367 --> 00:08:31,447 Oh, that's hot. 160 00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:34,407 Oh, did Billy burn himself? It's okay. Let Harry blow. Let Harry blow. 161 00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:35,887 Now go untie him! 162 00:08:36,047 --> 00:08:39,127 Okay. Okay. 163 00:08:42,207 --> 00:08:44,247 -Okay. Ow! -(CRUNCH) 164 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,607 (NICK SNIFFS) Uh, guys, wait. 165 00:08:46,887 --> 00:08:51,287 Uh, I'm gonna need Lappy if you want me to make any headway on your cash. 166 00:08:51,887 --> 00:08:53,687 -No, I don't-- -(TUTS) 167 00:08:54,847 --> 00:08:56,527 Okay, Nick. You can have it. 168 00:09:05,807 --> 00:09:07,527 Thank you. (COUGHS) 169 00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:10,567 BILL: And Nick... 170 00:09:11,287 --> 00:09:13,767 Don't try to leave town, either, okay? 171 00:09:13,967 --> 00:09:17,327 Or Eliot here will start by disabling your precious hard drive there, 172 00:09:17,487 --> 00:09:19,367 and then he's gonna work his way up to you. 173 00:09:19,487 --> 00:09:20,527 Yeah. 174 00:09:21,207 --> 00:09:22,487 I'm not leaving town. 175 00:09:24,087 --> 00:09:25,247 Game's over. 176 00:09:30,007 --> 00:09:31,207 It's time to get out. 177 00:09:52,407 --> 00:09:53,487 NICK: Whoa! 178 00:09:55,407 --> 00:09:56,807 (WHIMPERS) 179 00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:06,807 (HIGH PITCHED WHIMPERS) 180 00:10:16,887 --> 00:10:17,927 Ooh! 181 00:10:20,647 --> 00:10:21,687 (GROANS) 182 00:10:22,487 --> 00:10:25,647 Man: Okay, you got it? Here we go, quick. 183 00:10:32,647 --> 00:10:34,207 All right, on two. Ready? 184 00:10:36,327 --> 00:10:37,607 (SQUEALS) 185 00:10:40,047 --> 00:10:42,167 (NICK YELLS) 186 00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:43,487 Come on! 187 00:10:44,407 --> 00:10:45,447 MAN: Hey! 188 00:10:46,327 --> 00:10:50,407 CHILDREN CHANTING: We want Santa! We want Santa! 189 00:10:50,647 --> 00:10:52,887 We want Santa! 190 00:10:53,967 --> 00:10:55,287 (CHANTING AND CHATTER) 191 00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,007 (NICK GRUNTS) 192 00:11:23,327 --> 00:11:26,887 Murray, hurry up, there's about a thousand brats waiting for us out there. 193 00:11:29,287 --> 00:11:30,327 (CHILDREN CHANTING) 194 00:11:30,407 --> 00:11:33,167 Hey, you, elf. You see someone go in there? 195 00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:37,487 (PANTS) 196 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:39,927 NICK: Oh, great. 197 00:11:43,047 --> 00:11:44,367 What now, nick? 198 00:11:57,207 --> 00:11:58,327 Murray. 199 00:12:04,287 --> 00:12:08,167 (WHISTLING) 200 00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:11,607 Just in the nick of time. 201 00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:15,407 MURRAY: Hey! What the-- 202 00:12:16,207 --> 00:12:17,287 Come here! 203 00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:23,047 CHILDREN CHANTING: We want Santa! 204 00:12:23,807 --> 00:12:25,047 -NICK: Oh! -You! 205 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:28,487 Your elf's waiting for you. 206 00:12:29,327 --> 00:12:31,727 (DEEPLY) Oh! Yes, yes! 207 00:12:32,087 --> 00:12:35,487 (CHUCKLES) Well, uh, thank you, Eliot. 208 00:12:36,247 --> 00:12:37,887 Hey, how do you know my name? 209 00:12:40,407 --> 00:12:42,407 Well, I'm Santa, am I not? 210 00:12:42,967 --> 00:12:45,127 Ho ho ho! (CHUCKLES) 211 00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:50,007 -NICK: Have you been a good boy? -Of course I've been a good boy. 212 00:12:52,087 --> 00:12:53,687 Have you really? 213 00:12:54,367 --> 00:12:55,527 (MUFFLED) Yes. 214 00:12:58,527 --> 00:12:59,527 Okay. 215 00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:03,287 ELF: Here he is, the guy you've been waiting for... Santa! 216 00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:04,407 Santa? 217 00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:06,967 NICK: Everybody... Just be good for goodness sakes! 218 00:13:07,127 --> 00:13:09,207 Uh, hello? Where you goin'? 219 00:13:09,687 --> 00:13:12,047 Gotta find a place to hide out. But where? 220 00:13:12,327 --> 00:13:14,127 Murray! Where you goin'? 221 00:13:15,447 --> 00:13:17,047 ELF: Don't leave me alone with these kids. 222 00:13:22,087 --> 00:13:25,407 There's no place like home. (CHUCKLING) 223 00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:29,687 There's no place like home! Ho ho! All right! 224 00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:34,007 -JOHN: Okay, everybody ready? -Yup. 225 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:39,687 "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, 226 00:13:39,847 --> 00:13:43,767 "not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. 227 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,647 "The stockings were hung by the chimney with care 228 00:13:46,807 --> 00:13:48,527 "in the hopes that Saint Nicholas 229 00:13:49,007 --> 00:13:51,527 -"soon would be there." -(DOORBELL RINGING) 230 00:13:51,967 --> 00:13:54,007 -Oh, who on earth would that be? -Nobody move. 231 00:13:54,207 --> 00:13:56,927 -Maybe it's Saint Nicholas. -JOHN: I don't think so, Peter. 232 00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:59,447 Saint Nick doesn't usually come to the front door. 233 00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:01,127 Ho ho ho! 234 00:14:01,767 --> 00:14:04,807 (LAUGHS) Santa? Are you sure you got the right house? 235 00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,847 Well, 300 Walnut. Oh... 236 00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:09,647 Something's here. Oop. 237 00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:15,727 -Nick? -(NICK LAUGHS) Saint Nick today. Woo! 238 00:14:15,847 --> 00:14:17,847 (ABBY LAUGHS) Nick! What on earth are you doing here? 239 00:14:18,047 --> 00:14:19,167 Hello, gorgeous. 240 00:14:19,487 --> 00:14:21,447 How do you manage to stay so young and pretty 241 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,367 -married to this stick-in-the-mud, huh? -ABBY: Oh! 242 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:27,447 -PETER: Uncle Nick! -NICK: Oh, it's Peter cottontail! 243 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:31,527 -Hey, I don't have a cotton tail. -Oh, no? Then what is this, huh? 244 00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,127 -(PETER GIGGLES) -(NICK CHUCKLES) 245 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:36,407 Oh... Abby, where's Kaitlin? 246 00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:39,527 And who is this runway model we have here? 247 00:14:39,647 --> 00:14:42,087 -Stop! -Well, look at you. You're all grown up. 248 00:14:43,647 --> 00:14:44,847 (JOHN SIGHS) 249 00:14:45,287 --> 00:14:49,327 Well, there he is. Dan the man. 250 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:50,807 (BELLS JINGLING) 251 00:14:52,087 --> 00:14:56,807 (BOTH MAKE KUNG FU MOVIE SOUND EFFECTS) 252 00:14:56,927 --> 00:14:58,527 -Dude, how you doin'? -Great! 253 00:14:58,687 --> 00:15:00,967 -Did you get my e-mail? -NICK: Yes, I did. 254 00:15:01,047 --> 00:15:03,327 -I must compliment you on your choices. -Oh, look at them together. 255 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:05,607 -Yeah? -And may I say that I love Tibet. 256 00:15:05,727 --> 00:15:08,567 -That's great. -The Himalayas are just outstanding, 257 00:15:08,727 --> 00:15:12,927 And I'm so down with Oaxaca. Very cool pyramids. 258 00:15:13,087 --> 00:15:16,567 But I see your first summer after high school graduation 259 00:15:16,687 --> 00:15:19,607 -in the principality of Monaco. -Monaco? 260 00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:21,927 -Oui, Oui. -Monaco? Oh, for... 261 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:23,647 NICK: Soaking up the rays on the beach by day 262 00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:25,527 -and sticking it to the casinos by night. -(SIGHS) 263 00:15:25,647 --> 00:15:28,927 I call it "the killer Bs," beaches, babes, and big bucks. 264 00:15:29,807 --> 00:15:31,927 -Oh, I could go with that. -I could go with that! 265 00:15:32,047 --> 00:15:33,607 -(BOTH LAUGH) -Okay, here we go. 266 00:15:33,727 --> 00:15:35,207 (BOTH) One, two, three, go. 267 00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:38,447 -(DANNY GROANS) I got you! -Oh, man! You're getting faster. 268 00:15:38,527 --> 00:15:41,047 -What's that, been practicing now? -No, no. 269 00:15:41,127 --> 00:15:43,367 -Incoming! -Whoo! Whoo! 270 00:15:43,447 --> 00:15:44,967 (LAUGHS) Oh! 271 00:15:46,127 --> 00:15:47,927 Oh, come on, little brother. 272 00:15:48,487 --> 00:15:50,327 Don't pretend you're not happy to see me. 273 00:15:50,727 --> 00:15:52,647 Oh, of course he's happy to see you. 274 00:15:52,807 --> 00:15:54,567 It's just we weren't expecting you, Nick. 275 00:15:54,967 --> 00:15:57,087 The Spanish weren't expecting the inquisition, 276 00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:59,247 but that didn't stop Torquemada. 277 00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:00,727 (BOOK THUDS) 278 00:16:01,007 --> 00:16:02,847 You know, it's not fair that you got all the brains 279 00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:05,367 -and I got stuck with just good looks. -(KAITLIN LAUGHS) 280 00:16:05,927 --> 00:16:07,087 What are you doing here, Nick? 281 00:16:08,007 --> 00:16:11,127 -What, honestly? -If that's possible. 282 00:16:12,647 --> 00:16:15,567 Well, there's no place like home for the holidays, is there? 283 00:16:15,647 --> 00:16:18,687 And there's no place I'd rather spend some quality time than right here, 284 00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:21,127 with my favorite niece and nephews. 285 00:16:23,687 --> 00:16:25,487 Why is it I have trouble believing that story? 286 00:16:25,607 --> 00:16:27,447 -NICK: Who's up for some house hockey? -(PAGER BEEPS) 287 00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:28,647 -NICK: Let's go! -Me! 288 00:16:28,727 --> 00:16:31,887 Okay, how did we set it up last time? Oh, that's right, right around here. 289 00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,527 -PETER: Can I be goalie? -NICK: You're goalie! 290 00:16:33,607 --> 00:16:36,127 (GROANS) There's been a major outbreak of that new reindeer flu. 291 00:16:36,207 --> 00:16:41,287 -The emergency room's overrun. -Oh, no, John. Not tonight of all nights? 292 00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:44,647 Well, that's what I get for marrying a doctor. 293 00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:47,647 That's what you get for being a doctor, because they're calling everybody. 294 00:16:47,767 --> 00:16:48,967 -What? -(beeping) 295 00:16:49,087 --> 00:16:51,527 -That'll be you. -Oh, no. 296 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,927 Why, both of us? 297 00:16:54,167 --> 00:16:56,327 -(BEEPING) -It's Christmas Eve. 298 00:16:56,447 --> 00:16:58,567 -(KIDS SHOUTING) -What are we supposed to do with the kids? 299 00:16:58,647 --> 00:17:01,207 -We can't leave them on their own. -PETER: I scored! 300 00:17:01,447 --> 00:17:04,447 (KIDS CONTINUE PLAYING) 301 00:17:04,807 --> 00:17:06,327 (CHUCKLES) Oh, no. 302 00:17:08,287 --> 00:17:09,287 No... 303 00:17:10,807 --> 00:17:11,967 No. 304 00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:15,687 ABBY: It'll be fine. Nick is not a bad guy. 305 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:20,247 I think he's trying to mend fences. Give him a chance. It is Christmas. 306 00:17:22,687 --> 00:17:25,247 "The stockings were hung by the chimney with care 307 00:17:25,447 --> 00:17:28,567 "in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there." 308 00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:30,007 Don't hold your breath. 309 00:17:30,807 --> 00:17:36,327 Hey, chill out Katy, 'cause some of us like believing in impossible things. 310 00:17:36,927 --> 00:17:38,807 He believes in you. Isn't that enough? 311 00:17:39,927 --> 00:17:42,287 KAITLIN: I was about five when I figured it all out. 312 00:17:42,407 --> 00:17:45,247 The whole present-delivery setup thing seemed kind of fishy, 313 00:17:45,487 --> 00:17:46,567 so I did the math. 314 00:17:46,647 --> 00:17:49,527 For Santa to get to all the world's children on Christmas Eve, 315 00:17:49,727 --> 00:17:53,247 he would have to travel at about 650 miles per second. 316 00:17:53,327 --> 00:17:56,367 KAITLIN: I mean, that's 300,000 times the speed of sound. 317 00:17:57,407 --> 00:18:00,167 Wow. That's pretty fast for a heavyset dude. 318 00:18:01,327 --> 00:18:04,367 KAITLIN: Oh, but that would also explain why nobody ever sees him. 319 00:18:04,687 --> 00:18:08,247 Because he'd be going so fast, we'd look like living statues to him. 320 00:18:08,407 --> 00:18:11,607 (SIGHS) But you know that's physically impossible, so... 321 00:18:12,847 --> 00:18:15,327 So there is no Santa Claus? 322 00:18:15,447 --> 00:18:18,327 No! You know, Pete, there is a Santa Claus. 323 00:18:18,407 --> 00:18:20,967 Just ignore everything she says. She's just trying to show off. 324 00:18:21,527 --> 00:18:24,247 Can you believe teachers give out A's for junk like that? 325 00:18:24,607 --> 00:18:27,487 All right, guys, we're off. Good night, you. 326 00:18:28,047 --> 00:18:29,207 (CHUCKLES) Sorry! 327 00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,847 Good night. Sorry about this, honey. 328 00:18:32,927 --> 00:18:34,727 -Hey, you. Good night. -PETER: It's okay, Momma. 329 00:18:34,807 --> 00:18:36,007 -NICK: Mmm? -Ha! Yeah. 330 00:18:36,087 --> 00:18:37,687 -Thank you very much, Nick. -No problem. 331 00:18:37,887 --> 00:18:39,127 -ABBY: I'll go get the car. -Thanks. 332 00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:41,807 NICK: Okay. (CLEARS THROAT) 333 00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:44,967 Er...."The children were nestled all snug in their beds--" 334 00:18:45,127 --> 00:18:46,567 JOHN: That's not such a bad idea, you know? 335 00:18:47,447 --> 00:18:49,167 Maybe you guys ought to hit the sack early tonight. 336 00:18:49,287 --> 00:18:50,607 -Aw! -What? 337 00:18:50,727 --> 00:18:52,447 -Dad! -Aw, Dad! 338 00:18:52,567 --> 00:18:55,567 Hey, the sooner you get to bed, the sooner Santa comes. 339 00:18:56,447 --> 00:18:57,727 We're not done with the book yet. 340 00:18:58,087 --> 00:18:59,647 Ah, thank you, Uncle Nick. 341 00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:01,887 Come on, guys. Hugs, kisses. Let's go, off to bed. 342 00:19:02,087 --> 00:19:03,127 See ya, buddy. 343 00:19:03,247 --> 00:19:04,727 Come on, you guys. Give me a big one. 344 00:19:04,847 --> 00:19:08,007 -PETER: It's not fair. -Oh, it's not fair, oh! 345 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,087 And you know what? I'm gonna hang on to this for you. 346 00:19:10,207 --> 00:19:11,447 -(POP) -PETER: But, Dad-- 347 00:19:11,527 --> 00:19:12,647 You can have it back tomorrow. 348 00:19:13,047 --> 00:19:15,407 -Bye, Dad. -Goodnight, sweetheart. Have a good sleep. 349 00:19:16,047 --> 00:19:18,047 -(HE GROANS) -Have fun at the hospital. 350 00:19:18,207 --> 00:19:21,327 Oh, thank you very much. Come on, Danny. You, too. 351 00:19:22,927 --> 00:19:23,967 What? 352 00:19:24,367 --> 00:19:28,287 -(BOTH LAUGHING) -Dad, it's not even nine o' clock. 353 00:19:28,687 --> 00:19:30,727 DANNY: You gotta be kidding me. Dad, come on. 354 00:19:30,887 --> 00:19:33,127 I wanna stay up with Uncle Nick and then hang out. 355 00:19:33,247 --> 00:19:34,687 We got stuff to talk about. 356 00:19:34,967 --> 00:19:38,767 We can hang with Uncle Nick when we're all together. 357 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,527 I would like you up in your room. 358 00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:42,967 You can catch up on some of your reading, please. 359 00:19:45,847 --> 00:19:50,287 -Look, I'll go to bed when you want me-- -JOHN: Get to your room right now! 360 00:19:51,847 --> 00:19:54,567 Now, you should be totally grounded for all the stuff you pulled today. 361 00:19:54,887 --> 00:19:57,487 (SIGHS) Come on, let's go. 362 00:20:01,327 --> 00:20:02,527 (SCOFFS) It's... 363 00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:07,607 Merry Christmas. 364 00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:12,767 (SIGHS) 365 00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:21,687 NICK: Rule with a steady hand, John. 366 00:20:22,887 --> 00:20:24,247 Dad would be proud. 367 00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:26,047 I hate doing that. 368 00:20:26,647 --> 00:20:27,687 (DOOR SLAMS) 369 00:20:32,727 --> 00:20:35,367 Don't worry. I've got it all under control. 370 00:20:35,447 --> 00:20:38,247 You go do your thing. I'm proud of you, little bro. 371 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,527 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 372 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,407 (KNUCKLES CRACK) 373 00:20:51,847 --> 00:20:54,127 NICK: "Insufficient funds on deposit." 374 00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:58,047 Duh! 375 00:20:58,767 --> 00:21:00,607 If I had the money, I wouldn't need the loan. 376 00:21:01,767 --> 00:21:02,847 (GROANS) 377 00:21:03,647 --> 00:21:05,407 (LAPTOP BEEPING) 378 00:21:07,807 --> 00:21:08,927 All righty. 379 00:21:10,927 --> 00:21:12,527 Could be a potential investor. 380 00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:16,647 Oh, Uncle Nicko needs a break. 381 00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:19,687 Oh, we're getting there, we're getting there. 382 00:21:19,767 --> 00:21:22,647 We're getting him. The shark has found its prey! 383 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:26,047 Hello, Nick! You rotten little worm. 384 00:21:26,447 --> 00:21:29,047 Did you forget we have your e-mail address? 385 00:21:29,207 --> 00:21:31,607 And don't think you can cut us off, either, Wrigley, 386 00:21:31,847 --> 00:21:34,087 'cause we're tracking you and we're about to find you right now. 387 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,567 (HARRY LAUGHS) I think we're in here! 388 00:21:37,367 --> 00:21:39,087 Come on, do something. Do something. 389 00:21:39,807 --> 00:21:41,847 -(HARRY AND BILL LAUGHING) -HARRY: We'll find you right now! 390 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,167 Dare I? 391 00:21:44,087 --> 00:21:45,207 I dare. 392 00:21:45,767 --> 00:21:48,047 -(KEYBOARD CLACKING) -NICK: The Wrigley super virus. 393 00:21:48,167 --> 00:21:50,207 Invented for just this occasion. 394 00:21:51,367 --> 00:21:53,687 (VOICE TRANSMISSION BREAKING UP) 395 00:21:53,767 --> 00:21:55,047 Bye-bye! 396 00:21:55,367 --> 00:21:58,007 -HARRY: I'm having a melt-down! -NICK: That'll scramble their hard drive. 397 00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:03,647 And every other working computer within 50 miles. 398 00:22:09,167 --> 00:22:13,047 Man: Whoa! Albert! Albert! I can't seem to control this thing! 399 00:22:13,367 --> 00:22:17,767 It's descending much too quickly! Whoa! Albert, help me! Help me! 400 00:22:22,847 --> 00:22:24,487 Swanson? No. 401 00:22:24,887 --> 00:22:26,047 (THUD) 402 00:22:29,607 --> 00:22:30,927 (NICK MUMBLING) 403 00:22:31,007 --> 00:22:32,927 (LOUD THUD, CLATTERING) 404 00:22:40,327 --> 00:22:42,887 (FOOTSTEPS THUMPING ACROSS ROOF) 405 00:22:53,447 --> 00:22:55,327 -Hey. -That was you. 406 00:22:56,127 --> 00:22:59,447 -No. I thought it was you. -(LOUD THUMPING) 407 00:22:59,607 --> 00:23:02,567 -Or maybe a squirrel? -(THUMPING CONTINUES) 408 00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:04,887 If he's a squirrel, he's the size of a Saint Bernard. 409 00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:09,727 -(DRAGGING AND CREAKING ROOF) -Hold on. 410 00:23:10,927 --> 00:23:12,607 (CLATTERING) 411 00:23:13,127 --> 00:23:14,167 (NICK SQUEALS) 412 00:23:17,727 --> 00:23:19,687 (CREAKING AND PATTERING) 413 00:23:20,887 --> 00:23:22,047 Do you see wh-- 414 00:23:48,847 --> 00:23:49,847 SANTA: Hm. 415 00:23:51,207 --> 00:23:52,367 (GROANS) 416 00:23:54,607 --> 00:23:55,647 (SIGHS) 417 00:23:59,367 --> 00:24:00,767 All right, Albert, I'm in. 418 00:24:00,847 --> 00:24:03,007 ALBERT: Good work, Santa. Now you gotta look for their computer. 419 00:24:03,087 --> 00:24:05,367 -You see anything around? -I see it, yes. Yes. 420 00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:07,127 -ALBERT: Okay, you wanna go over there. -Yes. 421 00:24:07,207 --> 00:24:09,207 ALBERT: You're looking for something that's flashing or whatever, 422 00:24:09,287 --> 00:24:11,367 You're gonna put it in the thing that looks like a trash can. 423 00:24:11,487 --> 00:24:14,647 -Now what? -ALBERT: Just move it over there. 424 00:24:14,727 --> 00:24:18,047 (SANTA SIGHS) Okay, yes... Yes. 425 00:24:18,567 --> 00:24:19,607 (POOF) 426 00:24:20,767 --> 00:24:22,327 -That's it? -ALBERT: That's it. 427 00:24:22,407 --> 00:24:24,687 -That little thing grounded us? -ALBERT: Sorry. That's it. 428 00:24:25,127 --> 00:24:26,247 I'm telling you Albert, 429 00:24:26,327 --> 00:24:29,007 this fancy technology is more trouble than it's worth. 430 00:24:29,087 --> 00:24:32,047 -ALBERT: It's just a back-up. -I know. I know it's just a back-up. 431 00:24:33,127 --> 00:24:36,647 Well, next year the reindeer are lining up for flu shots like the rest of us. 432 00:24:36,807 --> 00:24:40,007 -ALBERT: Well, actually-- -Right... Albert! 433 00:24:41,167 --> 00:24:43,607 I've got to get to work now. I'm hanging up. 434 00:24:43,727 --> 00:24:44,967 -ALBERT: Okay! -Good-bye. 435 00:24:46,327 --> 00:24:47,527 (SIGHS) 436 00:24:52,007 --> 00:24:56,127 Well, I might as well begin here. (SIGHS) 437 00:24:57,007 --> 00:25:00,087 Let's see now... The Wrigleys. 438 00:25:01,367 --> 00:25:02,607 Ah, yes. 439 00:25:02,927 --> 00:25:04,647 Peter, nice. 440 00:25:05,727 --> 00:25:07,647 Kaitlin, nice. 441 00:25:08,887 --> 00:25:11,927 And Dan... Oh, Danny. 442 00:25:15,727 --> 00:25:18,087 On the "naughty" list again, Danny, huh? 443 00:25:20,087 --> 00:25:21,687 And I bet you've been no help 444 00:25:21,807 --> 00:25:23,687 in steering your nephew in the right direction, 445 00:25:23,767 --> 00:25:26,487 have you, Mr. Nick-on-the- naughty-list-for-life? 446 00:25:59,807 --> 00:26:03,367 (WHIRRING) 447 00:26:07,007 --> 00:26:08,807 -SANTA: Whoa! -(SMASHING) 448 00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:10,047 ...What I saw? (YELLS) 449 00:26:10,127 --> 00:26:11,367 -Whoa! -What? What? 450 00:26:11,647 --> 00:26:13,127 (NICK STAMMERING) 451 00:26:13,407 --> 00:26:15,127 (STAMMERS) How'd you get in here? What... 452 00:26:15,607 --> 00:26:19,207 -Who are you? -SANTA: Um... Um, don't worry. 453 00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:22,007 It's not what you think. No. Um, I, uh... 454 00:26:22,087 --> 00:26:24,447 Uh, uh, you're just hallucinating, uh. 455 00:26:24,727 --> 00:26:27,607 SANTA: Yeah. I'm not really here. You're dreaming. Yes. Um... 456 00:26:28,247 --> 00:26:30,527 -Look over there. -BOTH: Yeah! 457 00:26:35,847 --> 00:26:37,007 (NICK YELLS) 458 00:26:37,127 --> 00:26:38,887 SANTA: Ah! 459 00:26:38,967 --> 00:26:40,047 (THUD) 460 00:26:42,407 --> 00:26:43,567 (THUD) 461 00:26:50,967 --> 00:26:52,207 -NICK: Danny... -DANNY: Yeah? 462 00:26:52,367 --> 00:26:53,647 Stay away from the eggnog. 463 00:26:56,607 --> 00:26:58,407 -(THUD) -Would you stop kicking him? 464 00:26:58,567 --> 00:26:59,807 What if he's still awake? 465 00:27:05,687 --> 00:27:08,647 (WHISPERING) Stop! I think it's him. 466 00:27:13,247 --> 00:27:14,447 DANNY: It's him, isn't it? 467 00:27:15,407 --> 00:27:16,807 It's the real him. 468 00:27:19,327 --> 00:27:24,967 No. No, it's not the real him because there's no such thing as the real him. 469 00:27:26,487 --> 00:27:30,767 Well, then who is him? Where did he come from? 470 00:27:32,607 --> 00:27:34,247 NICK: I don't know, but, uh... 471 00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:39,247 I'm sure that there is a logical explanation for this. 472 00:27:39,527 --> 00:27:41,447 -Logical explanation? -(TING) 473 00:27:42,647 --> 00:27:44,247 -(CREAKING) -(SQUEALS) 474 00:27:45,207 --> 00:27:48,127 (HIGH PITCHED NICK SQUEALS) Maybe not! 475 00:27:49,407 --> 00:27:53,527 Whoa! What the-- I gotta lay off the eggnog. 476 00:27:54,527 --> 00:27:56,207 (WHIMPERS) 477 00:27:56,887 --> 00:27:59,887 Uh... Danny! 478 00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:07,807 (NICK GIGGLES) 479 00:28:09,687 --> 00:28:13,407 Did you happen to push a button on that... ball? 480 00:28:14,407 --> 00:28:16,887 -This? -NICK: Yes! 481 00:28:18,847 --> 00:28:20,447 (STAMMERS) I, I think so. 482 00:28:22,607 --> 00:28:26,207 Well, press... another... button! 483 00:28:30,727 --> 00:28:31,767 (WHIRRING) 484 00:28:32,847 --> 00:28:34,407 -(HISSING) -(CREAKING) 485 00:28:35,607 --> 00:28:36,687 (DANNY EXCLAIMS) 486 00:28:36,887 --> 00:28:37,967 Oh! 487 00:28:39,607 --> 00:28:40,727 Okay. 488 00:28:42,127 --> 00:28:45,127 (SHAKILY) Wow! May I see that? 489 00:28:48,527 --> 00:28:49,607 Oh... 490 00:28:50,007 --> 00:28:51,687 This is the real Santa Claus. 491 00:28:54,727 --> 00:28:57,967 A real... dead Santa Claus. 492 00:28:59,527 --> 00:29:01,927 Oh, he's not dead. He's just unconscious. 493 00:29:02,527 --> 00:29:05,727 -NICK: He'll be okay. -Well, what about Christmas? 494 00:29:07,687 --> 00:29:08,887 What about Christmas? 495 00:29:09,487 --> 00:29:12,327 Christmas? (STAMMERING) It...it's Christmas Eve. 496 00:29:13,767 --> 00:29:14,887 Yeah? 497 00:29:15,727 --> 00:29:19,087 Well, if this is all real and he's the real Santa, 498 00:29:19,247 --> 00:29:21,887 then he's gotta deliver all these presents tonight. 499 00:29:22,247 --> 00:29:23,567 But if he's knocked out too long, 500 00:29:23,647 --> 00:29:25,767 he's not gonna be able to deliver any presents. 501 00:29:26,567 --> 00:29:30,207 I mean, there won't be a Christmas. What are we gonna do? 502 00:29:30,647 --> 00:29:36,527 Calm down, okay? First of all... We are gonna do nothing. 503 00:29:36,887 --> 00:29:38,287 NICK: Nada. Zippo. 504 00:29:38,927 --> 00:29:43,087 Okay, this whole Christmas thing? That's not our problem. That's his gig. 505 00:29:43,807 --> 00:29:46,047 I mean, if you wanna tote around a heavy bag full of presents 506 00:29:46,167 --> 00:29:48,647 for people you don't even know, (CHUCKLING) 507 00:29:48,727 --> 00:29:50,887 well, that's fine with me, but, uh-uh. 508 00:29:52,567 --> 00:29:54,127 -DANNY: Yeah, but it's-- -(TING) 509 00:29:54,647 --> 00:29:57,847 It's what? Hmm? 510 00:30:00,847 --> 00:30:01,927 What? 511 00:30:05,487 --> 00:30:06,527 Danny? 512 00:30:11,647 --> 00:30:15,727 (GASPS) Oh, no! Okay, uh... 513 00:30:21,727 --> 00:30:24,127 (NICK WHIMPERING) 514 00:30:24,607 --> 00:30:28,047 (NICK WHIMPERING AND SQUEALING) 515 00:30:31,607 --> 00:30:34,767 (ECHOING WHIMPERING CONTINUING) 516 00:30:48,007 --> 00:30:49,047 Huh. 517 00:30:50,247 --> 00:30:51,327 (SCREAMS) 518 00:30:52,207 --> 00:30:54,287 (NICK GASPS) 519 00:30:59,647 --> 00:31:02,567 Whoa! (EXHALES) 520 00:31:05,087 --> 00:31:06,207 Oh! 521 00:31:09,487 --> 00:31:11,367 Oh! (CHUCKLES) 522 00:31:12,327 --> 00:31:13,407 Wow! 523 00:31:15,407 --> 00:31:16,487 Oh. 524 00:31:18,647 --> 00:31:21,487 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 525 00:31:22,607 --> 00:31:26,087 -So... Goin' high tech, huh, Santa? -(BEEPING) 526 00:31:26,847 --> 00:31:29,087 -(SLEIGH POWERING UP) -Oop. 527 00:31:29,367 --> 00:31:30,647 (RAPID BEEPING) 528 00:31:36,927 --> 00:31:38,967 (NICK SQUEALS) Whoa! 529 00:31:47,407 --> 00:31:48,807 (YELLS) 530 00:31:51,967 --> 00:31:53,287 -Off. -(CLANKING) 531 00:31:53,527 --> 00:31:55,367 -(SLEIGH POWERS DOWN) -Wow! 532 00:31:56,207 --> 00:31:57,327 (EXCLAIMS) 533 00:32:00,767 --> 00:32:03,127 Oh! Um... 534 00:32:04,327 --> 00:32:05,607 Uh, uh... 535 00:32:07,487 --> 00:32:11,687 (NICK WHOOPING AND GIGGLING) 536 00:32:20,007 --> 00:32:22,687 Oh! (BREATHES SHAKILY) 537 00:32:24,447 --> 00:32:27,367 Oh! This has possibilities. 538 00:32:28,727 --> 00:32:30,847 Oh. Oh, uh... 539 00:32:31,687 --> 00:32:32,807 (TING) 540 00:32:32,887 --> 00:32:34,807 ...Christmas we really should do something. 541 00:32:35,607 --> 00:32:37,287 You know, you make a very good point. 542 00:32:37,887 --> 00:32:41,087 What if we pick up the gauntlet 543 00:32:41,447 --> 00:32:45,167 and selflessly fulfill Santa's miraculous mission ourselves? 544 00:32:47,647 --> 00:32:49,767 -Really? -Really. 545 00:32:51,367 --> 00:32:54,167 But you were just saying that you didn't want to have anything to do with it. 546 00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:58,167 That was then. This is now. You made me see the light. 547 00:32:58,367 --> 00:33:00,767 And you don't want all the kids in the world to go presentless, do you? 548 00:33:01,167 --> 00:33:04,207 No, no. But I guess I'm just a little confused. 549 00:33:04,727 --> 00:33:07,047 Santa's got a flight controller on his sleigh 550 00:33:07,127 --> 00:33:10,127 that's not too much different from the one I got you for your last birthday. 551 00:33:10,367 --> 00:33:12,967 How do you know he has a flight controller on his sleigh like that? 552 00:33:14,127 --> 00:33:17,807 I saw it. It's up on... You will not believe... 553 00:33:17,887 --> 00:33:19,007 Trust me. You'll see it. 554 00:33:19,087 --> 00:33:21,367 Listen, you're the whiz at all these computer games, not me, 555 00:33:21,447 --> 00:33:23,727 so you'll be the pilot. I'll just deliver the presents. 556 00:33:24,527 --> 00:33:27,247 We'll be a team. We'll be heroes. 557 00:33:27,527 --> 00:33:29,287 -We'll save the day! -(TUMMY SLOSHING) 558 00:33:29,567 --> 00:33:30,767 This is it, man. 559 00:33:31,847 --> 00:33:32,927 (NICK LAUGHS) 560 00:33:34,327 --> 00:33:38,247 This is our first adventure. This is what we've always talked about. 561 00:33:38,367 --> 00:33:40,087 -Yeah? -Are you with me, partner? 562 00:33:40,807 --> 00:33:42,367 -Yeah. -Yeah! (LAUGHS) 563 00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:45,727 Wait. What about Kaitlin and Peter? We can't just leave them alone. 564 00:33:47,607 --> 00:33:50,087 Well, they're not alone. He's here. 565 00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:53,247 NICK: I mean, unconscious or not, He's still a bona fide adult, right? 566 00:33:53,407 --> 00:33:56,207 And besides, by the time they wake up in the morning, we'll have already been back, 567 00:33:56,487 --> 00:33:58,287 woken up the big guy from his little nap, 568 00:33:58,407 --> 00:34:02,287 and collected whatever reward we are sure to get for saving Christmas! 569 00:34:02,407 --> 00:34:05,167 -(LAUGHS) Huh? -Yeah! 570 00:34:05,247 --> 00:34:06,327 Yeah! 571 00:34:06,807 --> 00:34:09,367 -DANNY: Whoa! -(NICK WHOOPING AND LAUGHING) 572 00:34:13,687 --> 00:34:14,927 (NICK WHOOPING) 573 00:34:15,567 --> 00:34:17,527 -(LAUGHS) -BOTH: Whoa! 574 00:34:19,247 --> 00:34:21,247 Whoa! This is like a really cool video game. 575 00:34:21,327 --> 00:34:23,287 -Yeah! -Except you get bugs in your teeth. 576 00:34:23,447 --> 00:34:26,607 (LAUGHS) Whoo! We're smokin'! 577 00:34:27,007 --> 00:34:29,367 -(NICK LAUGHING) Oh, baby! -(BEEPING) 578 00:34:31,007 --> 00:34:32,167 Where are we going? 579 00:34:32,247 --> 00:34:35,647 Well, I thought we'd start on the east side of town, the gold coast. 580 00:34:35,807 --> 00:34:37,367 You know, those rich kids get so many presents, 581 00:34:37,487 --> 00:34:40,487 I figured if we dump their stuff first, we'd lighten our load. 582 00:34:41,047 --> 00:34:42,887 -Good thinking. -Ah, well, you know. 583 00:34:43,287 --> 00:34:44,927 Okay, hang a right. 584 00:34:49,127 --> 00:34:52,207 (NICK WHOOPING) 585 00:35:04,087 --> 00:35:05,167 Huh? 586 00:35:09,287 --> 00:35:10,567 Uncle Nick! 587 00:35:16,207 --> 00:35:19,247 -Uncle Nick. -(SNORES) 588 00:35:21,207 --> 00:35:24,687 (HIGH PITCHED SCREAM) 589 00:35:26,407 --> 00:35:27,847 DANNY: It looks like all you have to do is... 590 00:35:28,007 --> 00:35:31,527 reach your hand in the bag, pull it out, and you'll have the right present. 591 00:35:32,447 --> 00:35:33,567 NICK: Cool! 592 00:35:36,327 --> 00:35:38,527 (BUZZING) 593 00:35:39,327 --> 00:35:42,007 Listen, you're delivering a present to a girl named Kathy. 594 00:35:42,167 --> 00:35:43,407 (WIND WHISTLING) 595 00:35:43,527 --> 00:35:46,447 Now, she wanted a real pony for Christmas. 596 00:35:47,767 --> 00:35:49,727 She was naughty 13 times this year, 597 00:35:50,887 --> 00:35:52,167 So she gets... 598 00:35:53,927 --> 00:35:54,967 an ant farm. 599 00:35:55,327 --> 00:35:58,127 -(NICK ECHOING) Aw, that's cold, man. -Yeah. 600 00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:03,207 DANNY: So once you have the present, just put it under the tree, 601 00:36:03,367 --> 00:36:05,247 take the bally-wally and zap it. 602 00:36:05,927 --> 00:36:07,007 Gotcha. 603 00:36:13,847 --> 00:36:14,967 Ah. 604 00:36:16,127 --> 00:36:17,287 Gotcha. 605 00:36:18,367 --> 00:36:20,167 NICK: No, no, don't get up. I won't be a minute. 606 00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:31,567 Now... Ooh! 607 00:36:33,287 --> 00:36:35,327 NICK: I like. (CHUCKLES) 608 00:36:36,407 --> 00:36:39,287 Ooh. (CHUCKLES) 609 00:36:40,047 --> 00:36:41,127 Gotcha. 610 00:36:48,407 --> 00:36:51,327 Ole! (GIGGLES) 611 00:36:57,527 --> 00:36:58,687 NICK: Okay, now... 612 00:37:02,327 --> 00:37:03,487 (TING) 613 00:37:04,687 --> 00:37:05,927 (RATTLES) 614 00:37:11,647 --> 00:37:14,607 Ho ho ho! Spreading the wealth. 615 00:37:23,367 --> 00:37:27,327 Oh, lovely little things. Spreading the wealth. 616 00:37:27,607 --> 00:37:29,487 -(HIGH PITCHED PIANO NOTE) -Ooh. Nice tune. 617 00:37:34,967 --> 00:37:37,167 (BUZZING) 618 00:37:39,807 --> 00:37:41,527 Let's boogie. (LAUGHS) 619 00:37:41,807 --> 00:37:42,927 (THUDS) 620 00:37:43,207 --> 00:37:44,407 -What-- -What's wrong? 621 00:37:44,767 --> 00:37:46,887 -Nothing. -Whoa, whoa, whoa. 622 00:37:47,287 --> 00:37:50,767 NICK: That's you! (LAUGHS) Look at that. 623 00:37:52,327 --> 00:37:54,607 -I looked up myself on the database. -Cool. 624 00:37:54,807 --> 00:37:57,087 Yeah. "Daniel Wrigley. Shakes down his brother. 625 00:37:57,487 --> 00:38:00,407 Spends most of his time scamming." 626 00:38:01,207 --> 00:38:03,847 -(SCOFFS) -Santa thinks I'm bad. 627 00:38:05,247 --> 00:38:06,487 I can't believe it. 628 00:38:08,367 --> 00:38:11,447 Though that would explain the Greatest Disco Hits of the Seventies CD 629 00:38:11,527 --> 00:38:12,647 I got last year. 630 00:38:13,727 --> 00:38:16,007 Wait a minute. I like that CD. 631 00:38:17,127 --> 00:38:19,287 You know what the problem with people like Santa is? 632 00:38:19,567 --> 00:38:21,607 Trust me, I know a million of these kinda guys, 633 00:38:21,847 --> 00:38:24,247 all high and mighty, the big boss. 634 00:38:24,727 --> 00:38:29,047 But who is Kris Kringle anyhow, huh? I mean, how did he get this job? 635 00:38:29,367 --> 00:38:34,087 I don't remember voting for him. Do you? Who is he to judge? 636 00:38:34,567 --> 00:38:38,327 Now, I say that it's our turn to call the shots. 637 00:38:39,847 --> 00:38:42,687 We'll decide who gets what for Christmas. Are you with me? 638 00:38:43,207 --> 00:38:44,287 -Hm? -Yeah. 639 00:38:44,407 --> 00:38:46,487 -You bet your life, yeah. -(BOTH SNAP FINGERS) 640 00:38:46,967 --> 00:38:48,727 (WHIRRING) 641 00:38:59,647 --> 00:39:02,127 KAITLIN: Who do you think he is? PETER: I don't know. 642 00:39:03,927 --> 00:39:05,327 (KAITLIN AND PETER GASP) 643 00:39:05,527 --> 00:39:06,807 All right, big guy! 644 00:39:07,407 --> 00:39:10,207 Who are you and what have you done with my brother and Uncle Nick? 645 00:39:12,087 --> 00:39:13,967 (MUFFLED SPEECH) 646 00:39:17,527 --> 00:39:18,887 -Ah! -Ah! 647 00:39:20,207 --> 00:39:21,727 His beard's real, anyway. 648 00:39:21,967 --> 00:39:25,167 Of course it's real. I'm Santa Claus. 649 00:39:26,207 --> 00:39:27,967 I think he is. 650 00:39:30,527 --> 00:39:33,687 Oh, please! First of all, there's no such thing as Santa. 651 00:39:33,807 --> 00:39:35,287 And second of all, even if there was, 652 00:39:35,367 --> 00:39:37,967 he wouldn't be caught dead in any house with Danny Wrigley in it. 653 00:39:38,207 --> 00:39:42,007 Is that so, Kaitlin? Well, you're not so angelic yourself. 654 00:39:42,847 --> 00:39:45,767 Or perhaps you didn't think I saw you copy that answer off 655 00:39:45,847 --> 00:39:48,807 Ricky Garibaldi's spelling test in the third grade? 656 00:39:49,727 --> 00:39:50,807 (PETER CHUCKLES) 657 00:39:54,687 --> 00:39:58,407 And you can forget about that brontosaurus I asked for in second grade. 658 00:39:58,487 --> 00:40:01,167 PETER: My parents were right. The backyard is too small. 659 00:40:01,687 --> 00:40:03,287 Thank you, Peter. Oh! 660 00:40:04,007 --> 00:40:08,047 (GROANS) I haven't felt this bad since the tainted eggnog 661 00:40:08,127 --> 00:40:10,367 -(DOOR OPENING) -...outbreak back in '06. 662 00:40:12,887 --> 00:40:16,047 Yup, it's gone. Nothing on the roof but the chimney. 663 00:40:17,287 --> 00:40:18,487 SANTA: Oh, dear. 664 00:40:19,047 --> 00:40:21,287 Where in heaven's name could my sleigh have gone? 665 00:40:21,927 --> 00:40:24,527 (LAUGHS) It's not all that hard to figure out, Santa. 666 00:40:24,727 --> 00:40:27,207 I mean, valuable sleigh, missing big brother... 667 00:40:27,487 --> 00:40:29,327 -Danny probably copped it. -What? 668 00:40:31,207 --> 00:40:32,607 Lifted it? Stole it? 669 00:40:33,047 --> 00:40:35,847 -(GASPS) -Danny wouldn't steal Santa's sleigh. 670 00:40:36,167 --> 00:40:38,127 Then where'd it go, Peter? It didn't just disappear. 671 00:40:38,207 --> 00:40:41,287 -Yes, it did. You don't know anything. -SANTA: Now, children, 672 00:40:41,647 --> 00:40:43,647 I'm sure there's a logical explanation. 673 00:40:44,047 --> 00:40:46,287 Perhaps Danny, thinking I was incapacitated, 674 00:40:46,447 --> 00:40:50,327 is simply trying to deliver all the toys. Save Christmas. 675 00:40:51,927 --> 00:40:54,727 Danny as Santa's helper? That'll be the day. 676 00:40:54,807 --> 00:40:57,207 KAITLIN: Between him and Uncle Nick, the only thing they've ever-- 677 00:40:58,327 --> 00:40:59,527 SANTA: Nick? 678 00:40:59,887 --> 00:41:02,927 Nick Wrigley has my sleigh? Oh, my. 679 00:41:03,327 --> 00:41:06,727 Oh, my, my, my, my, my! That'll never do. 680 00:41:07,287 --> 00:41:10,887 I mean, Danny, why, he's a little naughty from time to time, 681 00:41:11,367 --> 00:41:13,287 but Nick Wrigley is incorrigible! 682 00:41:13,767 --> 00:41:15,327 -Oh, dear. -(VELCRO RIPPING) 683 00:41:15,567 --> 00:41:18,847 Now... I have to get my sleigh back. 684 00:41:19,047 --> 00:41:21,087 Hello, Albert! Hello! Can you hear me? 685 00:41:21,687 --> 00:41:23,247 Oh, of course he can't hear me. 686 00:41:24,047 --> 00:41:26,287 This gizmo is hooked up to the sleigh's computer, 687 00:41:26,407 --> 00:41:29,887 and the computer is in the sleigh, and the sleigh is gone, and... oh! 688 00:41:30,927 --> 00:41:32,167 (SANTA GROANS) 689 00:41:33,087 --> 00:41:34,647 Oh, wait. 690 00:41:36,047 --> 00:41:38,447 -The computer. -That's Uncle Nick's. 691 00:41:39,887 --> 00:41:41,407 -KAITLIN: What about the computer? -Yes! 692 00:41:41,527 --> 00:41:44,407 Well, this year, my sleigh is being run by a computer. 693 00:41:44,847 --> 00:41:46,567 The reindeer are all sick with the flu. 694 00:41:47,367 --> 00:41:50,847 And this computer interfered with my sleigh and brought it down. 695 00:41:51,407 --> 00:41:53,407 Perhaps we can repeat the process. 696 00:41:53,607 --> 00:41:56,887 -Um... Do you know how to work this thing? -Oh, yes, I do. 697 00:41:57,247 --> 00:41:58,847 Um, so what am I looking for? 698 00:41:59,007 --> 00:42:03,687 Well, it was a skull-and-crossbones, and I pushed it into that container there. 699 00:42:04,687 --> 00:42:07,767 You trashed it, Santa. Sorry, it's gone. 700 00:42:08,327 --> 00:42:10,687 -Oh, dear. -Okay, let me think. 701 00:42:11,287 --> 00:42:13,847 -There's a computer on the sleigh, right? -Right. 702 00:42:14,207 --> 00:42:17,207 And so it probably has a web address, right? 703 00:42:17,447 --> 00:42:18,527 A web address? 704 00:42:19,287 --> 00:42:21,167 You know, like, worldwide web. 705 00:42:21,527 --> 00:42:26,207 -Like, like Santa.Com or-- -Oh, yes! Yes, exactly. Santa.Com. Yes. 706 00:42:26,407 --> 00:42:30,047 Except that name was already registered. I'm Sclaus2.Com. 707 00:42:30,407 --> 00:42:33,367 Many children send me their Christmas lists in this new format. 708 00:42:33,647 --> 00:42:35,727 -I find it very convenient-- -Here's the plan. 709 00:42:36,087 --> 00:42:38,527 Okay. I hack into the computer on the sleigh, 710 00:42:38,607 --> 00:42:40,567 I override the flight-control program, 711 00:42:40,687 --> 00:42:43,127 and I bring that puppy back like a well-trained homing pigeon. 712 00:42:44,207 --> 00:42:46,047 -(SANTA GRUNTS) -Okay, let's go. 713 00:42:46,567 --> 00:42:47,927 Go? Where? 714 00:42:48,607 --> 00:42:49,847 To the computer store. 715 00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:52,567 All the computers in our house are too weak for this job, 716 00:42:52,887 --> 00:42:56,127 but they have the new Lumax 2327, 717 00:42:56,247 --> 00:42:58,287 the most powerful desktop in the world. 718 00:42:58,647 --> 00:43:00,207 Wonderful. Let's go. 719 00:43:01,407 --> 00:43:03,527 Um, you know, you can drive, right? 720 00:43:03,807 --> 00:43:07,007 Of course I can. Where do your parents park their sleigh? 721 00:43:08,007 --> 00:43:10,847 Okay. What are we supposed to do now? 722 00:43:11,847 --> 00:43:13,887 -CAR REVVING) -KAITLIN: Okay, right up to the light. 723 00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:15,647 Nice and easy. Nice and easy. 724 00:43:15,767 --> 00:43:16,847 -Right up to-- -(TIRES SCREECH) 725 00:43:16,927 --> 00:43:18,247 KAITLIN: You don't have to stop here. 726 00:43:19,087 --> 00:43:21,647 Keep going, right up to the light. Right up to the light. 727 00:43:21,727 --> 00:43:23,687 -(TIRES SCREECH) -KAITLIN: You don't have to stop again. 728 00:43:24,367 --> 00:43:27,127 -PETER: Come on, fast. -KAITLIN: You're going left! 729 00:43:27,327 --> 00:43:29,327 No, no! Turn right. Turn right. 730 00:43:29,407 --> 00:43:31,327 -(TIRES SCREECH) -KAITLIN: Get your foot off the brake! 731 00:43:31,447 --> 00:43:33,247 -(TIRES SCREECH) -KAITLIN: You're going too fast! 732 00:43:33,727 --> 00:43:36,127 DANNY: Oh. Darrin, Darrin, Darrin. 733 00:43:36,327 --> 00:43:38,847 -(BUZZING) -DANNY: What can I tell you, buddy? 734 00:43:39,607 --> 00:43:40,887 You gotta watch that temper. 735 00:43:41,887 --> 00:43:46,127 But this present isn't gonna make you any less angry, so... 736 00:43:48,487 --> 00:43:50,327 -(RAPID BEEPING) -(BUZZING) 737 00:43:51,887 --> 00:43:53,087 (BEEPING) 738 00:43:54,607 --> 00:43:56,687 NICK: (SINGING) I wish me A Merry Christmas 739 00:43:56,767 --> 00:43:58,727 I wish me a Merry Christmas 740 00:43:58,847 --> 00:44:03,967 I wish me a Merry Christmas And a Chippendale sofa 741 00:44:08,407 --> 00:44:09,647 -Uncle Nick! -Oh! 742 00:44:10,007 --> 00:44:13,407 Huh. Yo D! Uh, how'd you get in here? 743 00:44:13,607 --> 00:44:15,247 Well, I climbed through the window upstairs. 744 00:44:15,567 --> 00:44:18,087 -NICK: Huh? -Uh, hold on. 745 00:44:19,607 --> 00:44:21,807 Uh, where's Darrin's gift? I got a, I got a better idea. 746 00:44:22,007 --> 00:44:23,887 Uh, well, I haven't delivered it yet. 747 00:44:24,567 --> 00:44:26,727 What have you been doing down here so long, then? 748 00:44:27,927 --> 00:44:29,647 -Oh, you mean, down here? -Yeah. 749 00:44:30,687 --> 00:44:33,367 Yeah, bathroom break. You know, all the taking off and landing, 750 00:44:33,447 --> 00:44:34,567 you know, just... 751 00:44:35,447 --> 00:44:39,167 (LAUGHS) Yeah, well, uh, here. You have the little bally? 752 00:44:39,727 --> 00:44:42,247 -Zap it. -All right. Step aside. 753 00:44:45,527 --> 00:44:46,767 (TING) 754 00:44:47,607 --> 00:44:48,647 (CREAKING) 755 00:44:52,167 --> 00:44:55,847 -A punching bag? -Uh, yeah, yeah. 756 00:44:56,047 --> 00:45:00,567 Well, see, this kid, Darrin, his school record says that he's, um, 757 00:45:00,727 --> 00:45:01,967 he's been getting into fights. 758 00:45:02,207 --> 00:45:05,287 And I figure he can pound on this thing instead of other kids, 759 00:45:05,487 --> 00:45:09,927 You know, like, channel his anger into a healthy exercise. 760 00:45:10,367 --> 00:45:12,207 That is way cool, Dan, my man. 761 00:45:12,407 --> 00:45:13,567 -Yeah? -Yeah. 762 00:45:13,687 --> 00:45:16,447 The way you just look past all the surface junk and... 763 00:45:16,847 --> 00:45:20,607 saw this guy's potential. Yeah. Some kids need a break. 764 00:45:22,167 --> 00:45:26,007 Kids need a little extra attention, a little extra thought. 765 00:45:26,927 --> 00:45:28,367 (CHUCKLES) Take me. 766 00:45:29,807 --> 00:45:32,447 You know, when I was, I don't know, about your age, 767 00:45:33,327 --> 00:45:35,687 all I ever asked for was one thing. You know what that was? 768 00:45:36,367 --> 00:45:37,447 Hmm? 769 00:45:38,127 --> 00:45:42,327 A custom-made, Jimi Hendrix-signed electric six-string guitar 770 00:45:42,407 --> 00:45:46,447 with an ebony fingerboard from McCusack's Music store. 771 00:45:46,767 --> 00:45:49,127 (LAUGHS) Wow! 772 00:45:49,927 --> 00:45:53,087 NICK: The most beautiful rock and roll guitar in the world. 773 00:45:54,087 --> 00:45:57,847 Every year I'd ask for it, And every year, it wasn't under the tree. 774 00:45:59,567 --> 00:46:01,687 I mean, it wasn't like the folks couldn't afford it. 775 00:46:02,087 --> 00:46:03,967 Your dad got everything he ever wanted. 776 00:46:04,367 --> 00:46:07,647 Chemistry set, telescope, microscope, macroscope (POPS LIPS) 777 00:46:07,767 --> 00:46:09,007 You know? But then... 778 00:46:10,327 --> 00:46:11,767 Anyway, he was nice, 779 00:46:12,767 --> 00:46:14,127 And I was naughty. 780 00:46:15,527 --> 00:46:17,647 I mean, not nasty naughty. 781 00:46:18,047 --> 00:46:21,567 You know, just kind of naturally normal naughty. 782 00:46:22,047 --> 00:46:23,127 (CHUCKLES) 783 00:46:23,407 --> 00:46:24,447 (SIGHS) 784 00:46:25,247 --> 00:46:26,967 And you know, if you were around back then, 785 00:46:27,167 --> 00:46:28,967 making the Christmas present decisions, 786 00:46:29,607 --> 00:46:32,087 I'd probably be touring with the Stones right now. 787 00:46:32,447 --> 00:46:34,567 -Yeah? -Oh, yeah. 788 00:46:35,607 --> 00:46:36,967 I was good, man, 789 00:46:38,207 --> 00:46:40,047 With the right equipment I could've been great. 790 00:46:43,527 --> 00:46:45,727 -(CLINKING) -Anyway. 791 00:46:48,047 --> 00:46:49,887 -Ready? -Yeah. 792 00:46:53,887 --> 00:46:57,847 -What? -(LAUGHS) Nothing. I mean, you're just... 793 00:46:58,327 --> 00:46:59,847 You're looking kind of lumpy. 794 00:47:00,727 --> 00:47:01,847 Well, yeah! 795 00:47:02,327 --> 00:47:04,727 Cookies and milk, cookies and milk, everywhere we go. 796 00:47:05,047 --> 00:47:07,007 No wonder Santa has a weight problem. Come on. 797 00:47:10,047 --> 00:47:12,127 (HIP-HOP PLAYING) 798 00:47:25,367 --> 00:47:26,447 KAITLIN: Uh... 799 00:47:27,927 --> 00:47:30,887 Santa, I don't think that taking a shortcut was such a good idea. 800 00:47:31,287 --> 00:47:33,887 -Why not? -Just a hunch. 801 00:47:35,047 --> 00:47:37,927 Nonsense! Excuse me, boys? 802 00:47:38,247 --> 00:47:40,047 -(SPRAY CANS HISSING) -What's goin' on? 803 00:47:40,287 --> 00:47:42,007 SANTA: Would you mind moving your vehicle? 804 00:47:44,927 --> 00:47:46,207 I don't think they heard me. 805 00:47:46,887 --> 00:47:49,527 I think they heard you, Santa. 806 00:47:51,007 --> 00:47:52,527 -(CAR HORN HONKS) -Oh, my god. 807 00:48:01,807 --> 00:48:05,087 Kaitlin, what are you doing? I think this boy wants to talk. 808 00:48:07,167 --> 00:48:09,047 -Uh-oh. -(DISTANT SIREN WAILING) 809 00:48:09,647 --> 00:48:12,767 Well, well, well. What do we have here? 810 00:48:13,687 --> 00:48:15,607 Santa Claus and his little elves. 811 00:48:15,687 --> 00:48:18,527 (LAUGHS) Dear, no. These aren't elves. 812 00:48:18,687 --> 00:48:21,447 Elves are actually shorter creatures with pointy ears, 813 00:48:21,807 --> 00:48:24,807 Mischievous and disobedient, but inherently kind. 814 00:48:26,087 --> 00:48:27,687 You tryin' to play games with me, buddy? 815 00:48:28,447 --> 00:48:30,407 Would you like to play a game? All right. 816 00:48:33,327 --> 00:48:34,447 What? 817 00:48:34,567 --> 00:48:36,367 SANTA: Is this some new game I'm not aware of? 818 00:48:36,487 --> 00:48:39,007 KAITLIN: Yeah, it's called the "we're in big trouble" game. 819 00:48:39,327 --> 00:48:42,287 -Oh, dear. These are naughty boys. -Yes, they are. 820 00:48:43,127 --> 00:48:45,967 -Now, boys! Boys, boys. -(CREAKING AND CLANKING) 821 00:48:46,887 --> 00:48:48,767 -KAITLIN: Get back here! Santa! No! -(MEN WHOOP) 822 00:48:48,847 --> 00:48:50,527 KAITLIN: Get back! No! Don't close the door! 823 00:48:50,607 --> 00:48:53,327 SANTA: Now, boys. Boys, boys, boys. MAN: Easy! 824 00:48:53,647 --> 00:48:54,847 -MAN: Oh, big man! -(CATCALLS) 825 00:48:55,127 --> 00:48:57,527 -Hey big man, let's see what you got! -MAN 2: Look at that dude. 826 00:48:57,607 --> 00:48:59,847 Now, son, I don't want any trouble. 827 00:49:00,727 --> 00:49:02,967 Sorry, pal, 'cause trouble's what you got. 828 00:49:03,087 --> 00:49:04,407 -Now come on. -(MAN LAUGHING) 829 00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:06,687 I didn't want to have to do this, but... 830 00:49:07,367 --> 00:49:08,407 Ha! 831 00:49:08,527 --> 00:49:10,967 Oh, we are in trouble. 832 00:49:11,127 --> 00:49:14,247 -(MAN LAUGHS): You're kidding me, right? -(MEN LAUGHING) 833 00:49:14,407 --> 00:49:16,967 Is this guy for real? All right, come on. Let's see what you got, huh? 834 00:49:17,247 --> 00:49:19,527 Come on, come on, come on! Like that, huh? 835 00:49:21,007 --> 00:49:23,287 Come on, you gonna take a punch or what? Come on, come on! 836 00:49:23,567 --> 00:49:25,527 This guy for real? (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 837 00:49:25,607 --> 00:49:26,647 (LAUGHS) 838 00:49:27,087 --> 00:49:28,127 Now cut that out! 839 00:49:30,647 --> 00:49:32,167 Now bring it! Let's go! 840 00:49:33,687 --> 00:49:35,407 -This is it. -MAN 2: Come on! 841 00:49:36,487 --> 00:49:39,607 -SANTA: Kitchy-kitchy coo! -(MAN LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 842 00:49:41,287 --> 00:49:44,887 All right, that ain't funny, you know! All right, come on! 843 00:49:46,407 --> 00:49:48,007 MAN 2: Come on, you can take him, get him! 844 00:49:51,647 --> 00:49:53,407 Kootchy-ootchy-ootchy! 845 00:49:55,327 --> 00:49:57,167 (MAN LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 846 00:49:58,007 --> 00:49:59,687 Santa: You give? You give? 847 00:50:00,127 --> 00:50:03,687 -I give, I give, I give, I give! (SOBS) -(MEN LAUGHING) 848 00:50:05,607 --> 00:50:08,247 -You're one tough tickler, man! -(SANTA CHUCKLES) 849 00:50:09,007 --> 00:50:11,727 MAN: I swear, you guys tell anybody about this, and you're gonna deal with me! 850 00:50:11,887 --> 00:50:13,767 -And I don't tickle! -(LAUGHING STOPS) 851 00:50:14,247 --> 00:50:15,447 You're all right, dog. 852 00:50:16,887 --> 00:50:18,967 Yeah, how'd ya like to join my crew? 853 00:50:19,367 --> 00:50:23,167 Oh! That's very hospitable of you, But, uh, we've got to get going. 854 00:50:23,287 --> 00:50:24,807 As I said, we have business to conduct. 855 00:50:25,087 --> 00:50:26,407 You shouldn't be driving around here. 856 00:50:26,487 --> 00:50:28,407 There's all kinds of creeps running around, you know? 857 00:50:28,647 --> 00:50:30,047 Do you have a better idea? 858 00:50:30,127 --> 00:50:31,887 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 859 00:50:45,727 --> 00:50:46,927 -(WHIRRING) -(THUDS) 860 00:50:47,847 --> 00:50:50,607 (CHUCKLES) Thank you, Pablo. 861 00:50:52,047 --> 00:50:55,447 Now you boys check your stockings tomorrow and see what Santa brought you. 862 00:50:55,967 --> 00:50:57,247 Right on, Santa. 863 00:50:57,447 --> 00:50:58,567 -(SWITCH FLICKS) -(WHIRRING) 864 00:51:03,567 --> 00:51:06,807 (CHUCKLES) Kind of catchy! 865 00:51:10,807 --> 00:51:12,687 (JINGLE BELLS PLAYING) 866 00:51:15,847 --> 00:51:18,847 SANTA: Wow. Albert would love it. 867 00:51:23,727 --> 00:51:24,967 Peter: Come on, Santa. 868 00:51:27,447 --> 00:51:30,087 -You're late! -Uh, am I? Uh... 869 00:51:30,167 --> 00:51:31,567 Lot of good you do me now. 870 00:51:31,927 --> 00:51:34,927 I needed you for the final rush this afternoon, not at closing time. 871 00:51:35,087 --> 00:51:37,007 Don't think I'm not gonna report this to your union rep. 872 00:51:37,087 --> 00:51:39,207 Well, actually, I'm more of an independent contractor. 873 00:51:39,287 --> 00:51:41,527 The next time I need a big man with computer experience, 874 00:51:41,607 --> 00:51:43,247 I'll put a pillow under my shirt! 875 00:51:43,407 --> 00:51:46,327 Um, excuse me, sir, but could you show me 876 00:51:46,407 --> 00:51:48,527 where the Lumax 2327s are, please? 877 00:51:49,647 --> 00:51:52,607 Well, go on and show her. Aisle two. 878 00:51:53,207 --> 00:51:54,967 Oh. Right this way. 879 00:51:56,327 --> 00:51:58,727 Ugh! Temps! 880 00:52:05,687 --> 00:52:07,407 (WIND WHOOSHING) 881 00:52:15,167 --> 00:52:16,247 -(BEEPING) -(CLANKING) 882 00:52:16,327 --> 00:52:19,287 DANNY: I got a good idea. Why don't we go to the homeless shelter? 883 00:52:19,567 --> 00:52:22,527 -Pass out some stuff there. -Homeless shelter? 884 00:52:22,687 --> 00:52:27,567 They haven't got anything... So, yes, we should go there. 885 00:52:27,887 --> 00:52:32,447 Right. I'm with you... Or! Or... Hey, here's a great idea. 886 00:52:32,567 --> 00:52:34,687 Why don't we just zoom over to the Vanderlip mansion 887 00:52:34,807 --> 00:52:37,127 and spread some Christmas magic there? 888 00:52:38,607 --> 00:52:43,047 Nah, there won't be any kids there. Just a whole bunch of grownups 889 00:52:43,207 --> 00:52:46,407 in fancy clothes and jewels, having a party or something. 890 00:52:46,927 --> 00:52:48,287 -Yeah. -They've got more than they need. 891 00:52:48,367 --> 00:52:49,727 Why would we want to give them more? 892 00:52:49,807 --> 00:52:51,447 Well, we wouldn't. 893 00:52:51,687 --> 00:52:54,327 But, you see, that's, that's my idea, Danny. 894 00:52:54,527 --> 00:52:56,887 Listen, they're probably gonna have some kind of major feast, right? 895 00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:59,407 With caviar, roast beef, all the trimmings. 896 00:52:59,647 --> 00:53:00,687 I guess, yeah. 897 00:53:00,847 --> 00:53:04,447 So, this is where we outdo that old fogey Claus. 898 00:53:04,687 --> 00:53:07,287 We switch the dinners. (LAUGHS) 899 00:53:07,527 --> 00:53:10,567 Yeah, we let the rich folks see what life is really like for a change, 900 00:53:10,687 --> 00:53:14,287 while, at the same time, bring a little Christmas cheer to the downtrodden. 901 00:53:14,887 --> 00:53:18,687 That's a great idea! Man, you are a great Santa. 902 00:53:19,487 --> 00:53:20,647 I try. 903 00:53:27,207 --> 00:53:29,527 These babies are state of the art. 904 00:53:31,047 --> 00:53:32,967 Lumax 2327s... 905 00:53:33,887 --> 00:53:37,407 It's the most powerful home computer ever conceived, 906 00:53:37,967 --> 00:53:40,727 -with a 1.2 terabyte hard drive, -(BEEPING) 907 00:53:41,207 --> 00:53:45,847 and a six gigahertz processor and 512 megs of RAM. 908 00:53:52,047 --> 00:53:53,847 PETER: Kaitlin, someone's coming. 909 00:53:54,167 --> 00:53:57,047 Do something! If they catch us, they'll throw us out. 910 00:53:57,247 --> 00:53:58,327 Hmm. 911 00:54:11,367 --> 00:54:12,887 PETER: Excuse me, sir. 912 00:54:13,087 --> 00:54:14,487 Hey, what are you all doing over there? 913 00:54:14,927 --> 00:54:17,287 Nothing. I have to go to the bathroom. 914 00:54:18,127 --> 00:54:21,047 -So go. -Can you take me? 915 00:54:21,887 --> 00:54:23,727 Hey, I'm not your dad, little kid. 916 00:54:24,727 --> 00:54:27,567 I guess I'll just have to do it over here, then. 917 00:54:28,087 --> 00:54:30,007 No, no. Not there. What are you, nuts? 918 00:54:31,287 --> 00:54:32,887 Come on, I'll show you where it is. 919 00:54:34,887 --> 00:54:37,967 -He's created a diversion. -Great. 920 00:54:39,527 --> 00:54:41,327 Okay. That ought to do it. 921 00:54:41,887 --> 00:54:45,807 -Now, push the on button and hope. -(ELECTRONIC BUZZING) 922 00:54:46,247 --> 00:54:48,967 COMPUTER: This is Lumax 2327, I am ready. 923 00:54:49,487 --> 00:54:52,447 -(CRACKS KNUCKLES) -Okay. Let's wrangle us a sleigh. 924 00:55:02,487 --> 00:55:06,287 Yeah, life is finally cutting us bad boys a break, huh, Danny? 925 00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:10,567 We just might come out on top this time-- Whoa! Easy, easy! Hot soup. 926 00:55:10,967 --> 00:55:12,447 (NICK WINCES) Ow! 927 00:55:15,287 --> 00:55:18,967 (SIGHS) Yeah, let's definitely do this again next year. 928 00:55:19,487 --> 00:55:22,407 Yeah. I'm sure by then, Santa'll be back at the controls. 929 00:55:23,247 --> 00:55:25,487 You never can tell with head injuries. 930 00:55:26,007 --> 00:55:28,247 Yep, you and I might just have to take over this gig 931 00:55:28,327 --> 00:55:29,727 For many years to come, my friend. 932 00:55:31,607 --> 00:55:32,767 There's the mansion. 933 00:55:34,447 --> 00:55:35,727 Oh, yeah. 934 00:55:39,807 --> 00:55:41,367 -DANNY: Ready? -Yeah. 935 00:55:41,447 --> 00:55:42,607 Let's take her in. 936 00:55:43,367 --> 00:55:44,927 -(CREAKING) -(SLEIGH REVVING) 937 00:55:45,167 --> 00:55:47,367 Danny, easy. This isn't Splash Mountain. 938 00:55:47,487 --> 00:55:49,687 -(RAPID BEEPING) -But I'm not doing that. What? 939 00:55:49,887 --> 00:55:52,487 I've lost control. Somebody else is steering the sleigh. 940 00:55:53,127 --> 00:55:54,247 Well, who? 941 00:55:54,527 --> 00:55:57,327 -(BEEPING) -KAITLIN: Oh! That's gotta be them. 942 00:55:58,367 --> 00:56:01,847 Okay, Danny. Let's show you who's in the driver's seat. 943 00:56:03,247 --> 00:56:05,287 (NICK AND DANNY SCREAMING) 944 00:56:05,447 --> 00:56:07,007 -(RAPID BEEPING) -(BOTH YELLING) 945 00:56:07,127 --> 00:56:09,527 -Let me have that thing! -DANNY: No, no, it's not gonna work. 946 00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:12,367 BOTH: Whoa! 947 00:56:15,807 --> 00:56:17,927 Somebody's hacked into our system. They're flying our sleigh. 948 00:56:20,207 --> 00:56:21,847 (NICK AND DANNY YELLING) 949 00:56:22,847 --> 00:56:23,887 NICK: What just happened? 950 00:56:24,527 --> 00:56:27,567 Whoever's doing this has got a much more powerful computer than we do. 951 00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:30,047 DANNY: Whoa! 952 00:56:31,047 --> 00:56:32,087 NICK: What do we do now? 953 00:56:32,247 --> 00:56:33,567 -DANNY: Hold on! -NICK: Good idea! 954 00:56:34,087 --> 00:56:36,967 Okay, I know. I'll put in the coordinates for my house. 955 00:56:37,527 --> 00:56:39,407 -(KEYBOARD CLACKING) -SANTA: You'd better hurry. 956 00:56:40,607 --> 00:56:43,007 DANNY: Okay, here's a stupid idea. NICK: I'm listening. 957 00:56:44,127 --> 00:56:48,487 We could... cut the power off, then throw it back on real quick. 958 00:56:49,247 --> 00:56:53,687 That would stop the signal, but it could also do some damage to the hard drive. 959 00:56:53,767 --> 00:56:56,327 Who cares about the hard drive? It's our only choice. 960 00:56:56,487 --> 00:56:59,047 Let's do it now because we're right over the mansion. Go. 961 00:57:00,167 --> 00:57:01,807 -(BUTTON CLICKS) -(SLEIGH POWERS DOWN) 962 00:57:01,927 --> 00:57:03,447 (BOTH SCREAM) 963 00:57:07,367 --> 00:57:08,687 (BOTH SCREAM) 964 00:57:10,647 --> 00:57:12,247 -Do you think it's time -(BUTTON CLICKING REPEATEDLY) 965 00:57:12,327 --> 00:57:13,447 -we turn it back on? 966 00:57:13,567 --> 00:57:15,007 (DANNY): I'm trying! I'm trying! 967 00:57:15,687 --> 00:57:17,127 -(SLEIGH POWERS UP) -(BEEPING) 968 00:57:17,447 --> 00:57:19,607 NICK: Yes! (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 969 00:57:20,607 --> 00:57:23,087 -(BOTH LAUGH) -You did it! (WHOOPS) 970 00:57:24,207 --> 00:57:26,807 Okay. We're still dropping, but not as fast. 971 00:57:27,607 --> 00:57:29,087 -DANNY: All right. -NICK: Okay, easy, now. 972 00:57:29,327 --> 00:57:31,367 -Easy, easy. -DANNY: All right. I know. 973 00:57:31,487 --> 00:57:32,807 I got it. Don't worry, don't worry. 974 00:57:32,927 --> 00:57:34,407 -NICK: Easy! -DANNY: All right. 975 00:57:34,887 --> 00:57:37,287 -(NICK WHIMPERS) -I got it, I got it. I'm an ace. 976 00:57:37,447 --> 00:57:40,607 -(SLEIGH POWERS DOWN) -Okay. Good. We're safe. 977 00:57:41,887 --> 00:57:45,927 I almost lost my cookies. Shall we? While the soup's still hot. 978 00:57:54,047 --> 00:57:58,847 I can't believe I lost them. I had them right in my hands. 979 00:58:00,287 --> 00:58:03,447 You know, I guess it's just possible that my brother might be smarter 980 00:58:03,567 --> 00:58:05,167 than I give him credit for. 981 00:58:07,607 --> 00:58:08,687 Nah. 982 00:58:09,887 --> 00:58:13,007 That's it. Your brother has stolen my sleigh. 983 00:58:13,327 --> 00:58:15,967 He's obviously in cahoots with that uncle of yours. 984 00:58:16,647 --> 00:58:19,087 He's on the naughty list for life. 985 00:58:19,967 --> 00:58:23,447 But that's not fair. You don't know Danny, Santa. 986 00:58:23,607 --> 00:58:26,527 He wouldn't steal it. There's gotta be a reason. 987 00:58:26,647 --> 00:58:30,607 And I may well put in a call to my good old friend, the Easter bunny. 988 00:58:31,847 --> 00:58:34,807 The only way that young man will get eggs in his basket 989 00:58:35,087 --> 00:58:37,007 is if he lays them himself. 990 00:58:38,847 --> 00:58:39,927 Whoa. 991 00:58:49,287 --> 00:58:54,727 (GASPS) Exquisite. Hmm. Oh! What do we have here? 992 00:58:55,927 --> 00:58:59,727 (SCOFFS) Junk. You should be ashamed of yourself. 993 00:59:01,527 --> 00:59:03,327 (LIPS SMACK) A bit early. 994 00:59:06,927 --> 00:59:08,007 Oops! 995 00:59:09,087 --> 00:59:12,207 Oh, Nicky likes. Boop! 996 00:59:12,647 --> 00:59:15,967 (HUMS PERKY TUNE) 997 00:59:16,047 --> 00:59:17,687 Hm... Hm... Nah. 998 00:59:18,967 --> 00:59:23,167 Oh. Yes, yes. Okay. 999 00:59:24,407 --> 00:59:26,807 Still, there's something wrong with the ensemble. 1000 00:59:27,727 --> 00:59:31,447 Oh! Of course. The necklace. Allow me. 1001 00:59:32,407 --> 00:59:36,047 -(DISTANT CLATTERING) -How's it going in there, big D? 1002 00:59:36,567 --> 00:59:37,887 DANNY: Fine. 1003 00:59:38,127 --> 00:59:40,687 (CHUCKLES) Me, too! 1004 00:59:42,047 --> 00:59:44,407 (NICK HUMS) 1005 00:59:56,367 --> 00:59:57,687 (TING) 1006 00:59:58,167 --> 00:59:59,687 (SQUEAKING AND CREAKING) 1007 01:00:00,607 --> 01:00:01,887 (WHIRRING) 1008 01:00:09,367 --> 01:00:10,647 It's still hot. 1009 01:00:14,407 --> 01:00:17,127 (GASPS) Holy Blitzen! 1010 01:00:22,807 --> 01:00:24,567 The Vanderlip diamond. 1011 01:00:25,447 --> 01:00:27,847 Pour moi? Oh. 1012 01:00:29,847 --> 01:00:35,487 (CHUCKLES) Oh, it is a merry Christmas. 1013 01:00:36,727 --> 01:00:39,207 Excuse me? Sorry? 1014 01:00:39,927 --> 01:00:43,807 (KISSES) Oh! Mrs. Vanderlip. 1015 01:00:44,527 --> 01:00:45,887 (TUTS) Naughty, naughty. 1016 01:00:48,007 --> 01:00:51,007 Oh, this really is exquisite. 1017 01:00:51,167 --> 01:00:52,527 Uncle Nick? 1018 01:00:53,567 --> 01:00:57,607 -DANNY: What are you doing? -I was just mingling. 1019 01:01:01,847 --> 01:01:04,887 I thought there was something fishy about your lumpy stomach. 1020 01:01:06,847 --> 01:01:08,007 There's stuff in there. 1021 01:01:09,367 --> 01:01:11,567 Stuff? What stuff? 1022 01:01:16,447 --> 01:01:17,607 (TING) 1023 01:01:17,847 --> 01:01:19,927 -(NICK EXCLAIMS) -(CREAKING AND SQUEAKING) 1024 01:01:21,287 --> 01:01:24,327 -(CLATTERING) -(NICK GASPS) 1025 01:01:29,287 --> 01:01:30,967 (SQUEAKING AND TINKLING) 1026 01:01:31,447 --> 01:01:33,007 (NICK CRIES OUT) 1027 01:01:33,207 --> 01:01:34,247 (CUCKOO CLOCK CHIMING) 1028 01:01:36,447 --> 01:01:38,047 -(NICK WHIMPERS) -(CLATTERING) 1029 01:01:38,967 --> 01:01:40,327 That stuff. 1030 01:01:41,007 --> 01:01:44,007 NICK: Oh, this stuff. (GASPS AND CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 1031 01:01:45,927 --> 01:01:48,727 Yes, uh... (SIGHS) 1032 01:01:49,527 --> 01:01:52,287 All right. I'll be honest with you. 1033 01:01:53,447 --> 01:01:55,007 -Ah! -(TOWER CREAKING) 1034 01:01:55,207 --> 01:01:56,327 See... 1035 01:01:57,927 --> 01:02:02,967 I'm collecting items for a charity fund-raiser to help fight... bad things. 1036 01:02:08,207 --> 01:02:09,807 -(TING) -(NICK SCREAMS) 1037 01:02:10,087 --> 01:02:11,687 (CREAKING AND SQUEAKING) 1038 01:02:13,487 --> 01:02:15,847 (NICK GRUNTS) Oh! 1039 01:02:17,847 --> 01:02:19,687 -(SQUEAKING) -(GROANS) 1040 01:02:20,407 --> 01:02:22,047 You don't have to lie anymore. 1041 01:02:24,007 --> 01:02:26,167 I mean, I'm not that dense. 1042 01:02:27,167 --> 01:02:31,927 DANNY: This whole night, it's all been one big, fat setup. 1043 01:02:33,167 --> 01:02:36,087 You scammed me so you could steal stuff. 1044 01:02:37,247 --> 01:02:41,767 No! Danny! Look, just, uh... 1045 01:02:44,167 --> 01:02:47,927 It is the giving season, right? Now, just...just think of it as... 1046 01:02:48,207 --> 01:02:51,527 as them giving to the less-fortunate, hm? 1047 01:02:54,727 --> 01:02:58,967 -(DISCORDANT NOTE PLAYS) -Oh. Here. Have a Stradivarius. 1048 01:02:59,847 --> 01:03:01,087 NICK: Go on, take it! 1049 01:03:03,927 --> 01:03:05,167 That's it. 1050 01:03:07,047 --> 01:03:08,247 We're done. 1051 01:03:09,847 --> 01:03:14,967 -Okay. You're right. I promise, no more. -(TINKLING AND CLATTERING) 1052 01:03:15,567 --> 01:03:17,967 No, I mean you and me. We're done. 1053 01:03:19,767 --> 01:03:21,047 For good. 1054 01:03:22,887 --> 01:03:26,447 (SCOFFS AND CHUCKLES) Come on. 1055 01:03:27,567 --> 01:03:30,887 Danny! It's your Uncle Nick. 1056 01:03:34,767 --> 01:03:36,127 (FOOTSTEPS RECEDING) 1057 01:03:39,167 --> 01:03:42,647 -Nick: Yo, D-man, where ya goin'? D! -(DOOR OPENING) 1058 01:03:43,167 --> 01:03:44,487 (DOOR CLOSING) 1059 01:03:46,527 --> 01:03:49,407 Whoa, Danny! Danny, Danny, Danny. Hold on. Come on. 1060 01:03:49,727 --> 01:03:54,087 Come on. Hey, hey. Okay, okay. All right. You're right. 1061 01:03:54,367 --> 01:03:55,967 I'll level with you, Okay? 1062 01:03:57,607 --> 01:04:01,567 It's just I've been having a small cash flow problem. 1063 01:04:02,207 --> 01:04:07,087 So...so this was just a tide-me-over kind of once-in-a-lifetime thing. 1064 01:04:07,287 --> 01:04:09,527 I mean, I really wouldn't make too much out of this. 1065 01:04:12,487 --> 01:04:15,127 All right. I'm sorry. Okay? 1066 01:04:15,327 --> 01:04:19,527 I'm sorry I didn't tell you, But, come on! What would you have said? 1067 01:04:20,687 --> 01:04:24,167 -I would've said, "don't do it." -(LAUGHS) See? That's my point. 1068 01:04:24,487 --> 01:04:26,727 Okay. It's all good now. 1069 01:04:27,327 --> 01:04:29,567 (SIGHS) Where to now? 1070 01:04:31,207 --> 01:04:35,727 Well, I'm going back home, see if I can really help Santa. 1071 01:04:38,927 --> 01:04:42,847 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right... 1072 01:04:44,327 --> 01:04:45,567 That sounds good. 1073 01:04:51,407 --> 01:04:52,967 You're not coming back with me, are you? 1074 01:04:54,567 --> 01:04:56,887 No, I, uh, I... No. 1075 01:04:57,127 --> 01:04:59,047 No, I don't think it's such a good idea. 1076 01:05:00,127 --> 01:05:01,487 (QUIETLY) Yeah, that's what I thought. 1077 01:05:02,767 --> 01:05:06,287 But, hey. We will definitely hook up, okay? I'll give you a call. We'll hook up. 1078 01:05:07,007 --> 01:05:09,807 Okay? (LAUGHS) Dan, my man. 1079 01:05:11,607 --> 01:05:13,007 NICK: All right, pal? 1080 01:05:14,407 --> 01:05:16,247 -Danny? -What? 1081 01:05:18,687 --> 01:05:20,407 Hey, we still have Monaco, right? 1082 01:05:27,727 --> 01:05:29,887 -(BUTTON CLICKING) -(SLEIGH POWERS UP) 1083 01:05:31,407 --> 01:05:33,047 (WIND WHOOSHING) 1084 01:05:48,327 --> 01:05:50,967 (PARTY GUESTS SHOUTING AND SQUEALING) 1085 01:05:56,487 --> 01:05:57,647 (CLOCK TICKING) 1086 01:06:05,287 --> 01:06:06,527 (LOUD CRUNCHES) 1087 01:06:09,887 --> 01:06:12,647 -Now what? -I don't know. 1088 01:06:13,047 --> 01:06:14,327 Neither do I. 1089 01:06:15,967 --> 01:06:17,927 It looks like Christmas is over. 1090 01:06:19,047 --> 01:06:21,167 (ALL SIGH) 1091 01:06:22,967 --> 01:06:24,967 What about you? How will you get home? 1092 01:06:25,607 --> 01:06:26,927 That's a good question. 1093 01:06:27,287 --> 01:06:30,247 That's going to take some figuring, thanks to your naughty brother. 1094 01:06:30,647 --> 01:06:33,607 But Danny isn't naughty. He's not. 1095 01:06:34,007 --> 01:06:36,007 Well, he's doing a pretty good imitation. 1096 01:06:36,327 --> 01:06:39,807 Okay, but what if he gave you your sleigh back and said he was sorry? 1097 01:06:40,047 --> 01:06:43,047 Would you still keep him on your bad list and call the bunny? 1098 01:06:43,767 --> 01:06:47,887 Well, maybe not, but that's not too likely to happen, now, is it? 1099 01:06:47,967 --> 01:06:50,687 -(CRASHING OVERHEAD) -(DANNY SCREAMING) 1100 01:06:51,127 --> 01:06:53,407 -(CLATTERING) -(DANNY GROANING) 1101 01:06:53,767 --> 01:06:54,847 (THUDS) 1102 01:06:55,487 --> 01:06:56,607 Wha-- 1103 01:06:58,247 --> 01:07:02,527 -(DANNY WHIMPERING) -I knew you'd come back. 1104 01:07:02,967 --> 01:07:08,327 -Hey, hey. Peter? -Danny, Santa's really mad at you. 1105 01:07:09,767 --> 01:07:11,447 Yeah, I had a feeling he might be. 1106 01:07:13,527 --> 01:07:16,087 Well, what do you have to say for yourself now, Danny? 1107 01:07:17,007 --> 01:07:18,087 Uh... 1108 01:07:19,607 --> 01:07:20,887 Merry Christmas? 1109 01:07:22,167 --> 01:07:24,047 -(DANNY GROANS) -(THUDDING) 1110 01:07:30,887 --> 01:07:33,847 -A screwdriver. -Screwdriver. 1111 01:07:38,047 --> 01:07:39,367 Soldering iron. 1112 01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:42,167 Soldering iron. 1113 01:07:43,567 --> 01:07:46,647 -KAITLIN: Needle-nose pliers. -(JANGLING) 1114 01:07:48,327 --> 01:07:49,847 Needle-nose pliers. 1115 01:07:54,807 --> 01:07:56,007 How's it going? 1116 01:07:57,567 --> 01:07:59,887 I don't even know if I can fix this one, Danny. 1117 01:08:00,687 --> 01:08:02,247 You really did it this time. 1118 01:08:08,007 --> 01:08:10,087 -KAITLIN: Crescent wrench. -Crescent wrench. 1119 01:08:30,167 --> 01:08:31,327 Santa? 1120 01:08:34,727 --> 01:08:36,207 I owe you an apology. 1121 01:08:38,647 --> 01:08:39,847 I'm sorry. 1122 01:08:43,887 --> 01:08:46,327 But I, I wasn't trying to steal your sleigh. 1123 01:08:47,447 --> 01:08:48,527 (DANNY SIGHS) 1124 01:08:49,807 --> 01:08:51,207 I hope you believe me. 1125 01:08:51,967 --> 01:08:54,647 Frankly, son, I don't know what to believe anymore. 1126 01:08:58,167 --> 01:08:59,407 (DANNY SIGHS) 1127 01:09:00,967 --> 01:09:05,807 My Uncle Nick... He's... he's not really a bad guy... 1128 01:09:07,207 --> 01:09:09,927 I guess. I mean, he's, uh... 1129 01:09:11,727 --> 01:09:16,167 He just got a little over his head this time, and, and then that's the way he is. 1130 01:09:17,247 --> 01:09:19,327 (SNIFFS) He's just, uh... 1131 01:09:19,487 --> 01:09:22,007 -A scammer? -Yeah. 1132 01:09:25,527 --> 01:09:28,407 How does it feel being the one scammed this time? 1133 01:09:32,047 --> 01:09:33,287 Not good. 1134 01:09:37,487 --> 01:09:38,927 -(ELECTRIC BUZZING) -(TINKLING) 1135 01:09:43,487 --> 01:09:45,807 Well, that's the ball game, boys. 1136 01:09:46,407 --> 01:09:49,327 There's no way this puppy is going anywhere else anytime soon. 1137 01:09:49,407 --> 01:09:51,047 Your hard drive's totally fried. 1138 01:09:51,247 --> 01:09:54,527 -I take it that's bad? -KAITLIN: That's real bad. 1139 01:09:54,767 --> 01:09:57,607 And the computer store is closed all day tomorrow. 1140 01:09:58,447 --> 01:10:02,567 (SIGHS) The earliest I could get you up is sometime on the 26th. 1141 01:10:07,047 --> 01:10:09,967 (CHOIR SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL) 1142 01:10:23,087 --> 01:10:24,167 (SIGHS) 1143 01:10:26,087 --> 01:10:29,767 He'll be okay. Kids rebound. That's what they do! 1144 01:10:30,807 --> 01:10:32,727 In a week he'll forget about the whole thing. 1145 01:10:33,687 --> 01:10:35,967 Hey. I'll send him a present. 1146 01:10:36,247 --> 01:10:40,327 Something big. A big... expensive... 1147 01:10:42,247 --> 01:10:43,407 thing. 1148 01:10:44,647 --> 01:10:45,767 (GROANS) 1149 01:10:47,527 --> 01:10:49,087 (CHOIR SINGING) 1150 01:10:51,607 --> 01:10:54,167 -(BRAKES SQUEAL) -HARRY: Hey. Hey, buddy. 1151 01:10:54,487 --> 01:10:56,407 We're looking for 300 Walnut Street. 1152 01:10:59,407 --> 01:11:00,607 How far? 1153 01:11:04,407 --> 01:11:09,647 (COUGHS) 1154 01:11:10,607 --> 01:11:12,527 Let's go. It's gotta be around here somewhere. 1155 01:11:12,607 --> 01:11:15,447 Get ready for this, Eliot. It's dinner time, boys. 1156 01:11:15,567 --> 01:11:16,807 -Eliot! -Oh, yeah! 1157 01:11:19,607 --> 01:11:20,807 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1158 01:11:21,287 --> 01:11:23,887 Ho ho, holy smoke, that was close. 1159 01:11:24,207 --> 01:11:26,567 (LAUGHS AND SIGHS) 1160 01:11:30,967 --> 01:11:33,167 Three hundred... Walnut Street? 1161 01:11:45,207 --> 01:11:46,527 Hey, Santa. 1162 01:11:48,807 --> 01:11:50,087 You gettin' in? 1163 01:11:52,687 --> 01:11:53,847 I... 1164 01:11:56,607 --> 01:12:01,647 SANTA: All these years and I've never missed a Christmas delivery until now. 1165 01:12:03,847 --> 01:12:05,487 But maybe it's for the best. 1166 01:12:06,567 --> 01:12:10,127 Maybe it'd do people good to know what it's like without Santa. 1167 01:12:11,607 --> 01:12:13,927 SANTA: Maybe they'd appreciate Christmas more. 1168 01:12:14,807 --> 01:12:18,167 Appreciate me a little more. Yes. 1169 01:12:19,727 --> 01:12:21,727 Maybe I'll just take a few years off. 1170 01:12:22,807 --> 01:12:25,367 -You don't mean that? -Why not? 1171 01:12:25,567 --> 01:12:28,247 Everybody else seems to be thinking only of themselves. 1172 01:12:28,487 --> 01:12:30,607 Maybe I'll just give up and join them! 1173 01:12:31,127 --> 01:12:35,167 Why, maybe I'll take this pasty old carcass off to Florida, 1174 01:12:35,487 --> 01:12:38,287 let Rudolph rub sunblock on my back, 1175 01:12:38,887 --> 01:12:42,607 sip an umbrella drink, listen to a steel band, 1176 01:12:42,687 --> 01:12:45,887 and let someone else do the holiday heavy lifting. 1177 01:12:47,207 --> 01:12:49,327 You think a tan would make me look thinner? 1178 01:12:50,567 --> 01:12:53,847 But there isn't anyone else. You're Santa. 1179 01:13:01,247 --> 01:13:02,607 Don't worry, son. 1180 01:13:04,527 --> 01:13:07,127 Santa's just a little depressed. (SIGHS) 1181 01:13:08,127 --> 01:13:09,927 SANTA: It's been one of those days. 1182 01:13:10,967 --> 01:13:13,807 Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. 1183 01:13:13,887 --> 01:13:16,007 -(CAR APPROACHING) -HARRY: Three hundred Walnut Street, Bill! 1184 01:13:16,207 --> 01:13:18,647 Bill! Bill! Bill! Stop the car! Stop the-- Bill! Bill! 1185 01:13:18,727 --> 01:13:20,727 -Back it up! Back it up! -And is still going wrong. 1186 01:13:21,087 --> 01:13:22,687 -HARRY: Bill! Easy! -(TIRES SCREECHING) 1187 01:13:22,887 --> 01:13:24,127 HARRY: Put on the brakes! 1188 01:13:24,327 --> 01:13:26,407 That is the last time I let you drive, Bill. 1189 01:13:26,487 --> 01:13:28,967 -BILL: I can't see anything! -I don't care if you can't see anything. 1190 01:13:29,047 --> 01:13:30,647 That is the last time I let you drive! 1191 01:13:30,767 --> 01:13:32,647 -BILL: No, no! -HARRY: Get out of here! Let's go. 1192 01:13:32,727 --> 01:13:34,687 -(CAR DOORS SLAMMING) -BILL: Okay, where is he? 1193 01:13:34,767 --> 01:13:38,087 Yeah, where is Nick Wrigley, the lying, computer-hacking little thief? 1194 01:13:38,647 --> 01:13:39,687 He's not here. 1195 01:13:39,847 --> 01:13:42,727 Don't give us the run-around already! We know he's here! 1196 01:13:42,807 --> 01:13:45,127 Oh, yeah. We tracked him with a global positioning satellite. 1197 01:13:45,207 --> 01:13:47,127 And the GPS don't lie. 1198 01:13:47,567 --> 01:13:50,287 -The GPS 1162? -BILL: You got it, girl. 1199 01:13:50,967 --> 01:13:52,727 Well, he's, he's still not here. 1200 01:13:53,007 --> 01:13:54,367 Okay, who are you people? 1201 01:13:55,047 --> 01:13:58,447 Nick is our uncle. He was here, but now he's gone. Okay? 1202 01:13:58,567 --> 01:13:59,887 So, so just move on. 1203 01:14:00,247 --> 01:14:01,327 Listen! 1204 01:14:02,167 --> 01:14:05,967 We've been driving around all night. We're very upset. 1205 01:14:06,527 --> 01:14:09,047 -Bill lost a contact lens. -It's inside my own head. 1206 01:14:09,207 --> 01:14:10,527 I have a migraine. 1207 01:14:10,847 --> 01:14:13,527 And Eliot hasn't hurt anyone in over five hours. 1208 01:14:14,047 --> 01:14:15,487 Now, we know he's in there. 1209 01:14:15,927 --> 01:14:18,367 So either you produce Nick Wrigley right this second... 1210 01:14:19,287 --> 01:14:20,607 or we'll go in and find him, 1211 01:14:20,847 --> 01:14:23,367 even if we have to take this house apart nail by nail. 1212 01:14:23,527 --> 01:14:26,007 -Shingle by shingle! -Limb by limb. 1213 01:14:30,327 --> 01:14:33,607 -After you, Eliot. -SANTA: Hold on, now. Wait a minute. 1214 01:14:34,647 --> 01:14:38,847 I think that the destruction of this fine home will not solve your problem. 1215 01:14:39,247 --> 01:14:42,807 -Now, in the spirit of Christmas-- -Get out of the way, old man. 1216 01:14:44,407 --> 01:14:47,247 (SIGHS) Someone needs a tickle. 1217 01:14:57,687 --> 01:15:00,007 Koochie-koochie-koochie koochie-koochie! 1218 01:15:01,847 --> 01:15:04,007 Tickie-tickie-tickie tickie-tickie-tick... 1219 01:15:05,247 --> 01:15:07,607 SANTA: Eh... (CLEARS THROAT) 1220 01:15:12,047 --> 01:15:13,207 You're in trouble. 1221 01:15:17,607 --> 01:15:20,207 -NICK: Leave them alone. -HARRY: There he is! 1222 01:15:20,287 --> 01:15:23,727 BILL: Oh, isn't that charming? Nick Wrigley coming to the neighborhood, 1223 01:15:23,847 --> 01:15:25,247 bringing the Christmas cheer. 1224 01:15:26,167 --> 01:15:27,247 (BILL SCOFFS) 1225 01:15:27,567 --> 01:15:30,807 (CHUCKLES) He kicks the car door. Love the Santa suit, Nick. 1226 01:15:30,967 --> 01:15:32,687 Also the little bag of presents. Cute, yeah. 1227 01:15:33,007 --> 01:15:36,367 HARRY: I hope for your sake there's a present worth 30,000 bucks in your bag. 1228 01:15:36,647 --> 01:15:38,687 Oh, I've got things worth a lot more than that. 1229 01:15:38,807 --> 01:15:39,967 -(HARRY LAUGHS) -BILL: Excellent! 1230 01:15:40,127 --> 01:15:41,927 But I can't give them to you. 1231 01:15:42,607 --> 01:15:43,847 Why not? 1232 01:15:44,007 --> 01:15:46,607 Well, first of all, you three boys have been very naughty. 1233 01:15:47,887 --> 01:15:50,327 Secondly, they're not mine to give. 1234 01:15:50,887 --> 01:15:53,687 Oh, I thought it was all mine for a while, but, uh... 1235 01:15:54,687 --> 01:15:57,567 It's not worth what I'd have to give up to keep it, so... 1236 01:15:59,727 --> 01:16:04,087 All these lovely things have to go back to the people they belong to. 1237 01:16:04,567 --> 01:16:07,487 (LAUGHS) You better be kidding, Wrigley. 1238 01:16:08,407 --> 01:16:10,207 No. No, I'm not. 1239 01:16:11,527 --> 01:16:13,407 Eliot, he's all yours. 1240 01:16:15,287 --> 01:16:16,847 Run, Uncle Nick! 1241 01:16:17,567 --> 01:16:19,887 Don't worry, Peter. This guy won't hurt me. 1242 01:16:20,887 --> 01:16:22,487 And why won't I hurt you? 1243 01:16:23,847 --> 01:16:29,127 'Cause, frankly, Eliot, deep inside, you're just a scared, unhappy little man. 1244 01:16:29,647 --> 01:16:32,847 (LAUGHING) 1245 01:16:33,367 --> 01:16:36,887 (NICK LAUGHS) Oh yeah! Yeah! 1246 01:16:38,007 --> 01:16:39,327 And because I have this. 1247 01:16:39,647 --> 01:16:42,527 (LAUGHING CONTINUES) 1248 01:16:46,487 --> 01:16:47,527 (TING) 1249 01:16:48,447 --> 01:16:49,847 NICK: There we go. 1250 01:16:52,527 --> 01:16:55,247 (ELIOT HIGH PITCHED LAUGHS) 1251 01:16:57,407 --> 01:16:59,247 (LAUGHING TRAILS OFF) 1252 01:17:00,287 --> 01:17:01,447 ELIOT: Uh-oh. 1253 01:17:02,527 --> 01:17:03,847 Did I mention "little"? 1254 01:17:05,127 --> 01:17:07,167 Uh...Uh...Uh... 1255 01:17:07,607 --> 01:17:08,967 (BOTH GROAN) 1256 01:17:11,447 --> 01:17:12,607 Mommy. 1257 01:17:18,527 --> 01:17:19,487 (BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY) 1258 01:17:19,567 --> 01:17:20,927 -(TIRES SCREECH) -HARRY: Go, go, go, go, go! 1259 01:17:21,207 --> 01:17:23,647 Remember, he's makin' a list! 1260 01:17:37,847 --> 01:17:38,887 (CHUCKLES) 1261 01:17:42,647 --> 01:17:43,767 Yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk. 1262 01:17:44,207 --> 01:17:45,927 Come here. (LAUGHS) 1263 01:17:46,847 --> 01:17:48,007 -Peter! -DANNY: Hey! 1264 01:17:55,847 --> 01:17:57,047 Good job, nick. 1265 01:17:59,007 --> 01:18:00,367 Oh. Here. 1266 01:18:01,727 --> 01:18:02,927 Thank you. 1267 01:18:04,607 --> 01:18:07,727 (LAUGHING HEARTILY) 1268 01:18:08,927 --> 01:18:10,807 (ALL LAUGHING) 1269 01:18:14,167 --> 01:18:15,487 SANTA: Ah, come here. 1270 01:18:16,527 --> 01:18:18,247 (NICK LAUGHING) 1271 01:18:18,807 --> 01:18:20,567 Very touching, you guys. 1272 01:18:21,207 --> 01:18:24,887 But this whole love fest doesn't exactly solve our problems. 1273 01:18:25,247 --> 01:18:27,687 -What problems? -KAITLIN: The sleigh is broken. 1274 01:18:27,847 --> 01:18:30,407 You two jerks blew out the on-board computer. 1275 01:18:31,607 --> 01:18:33,207 -Oh, yeah, right. -Yeah. 1276 01:18:34,727 --> 01:18:36,487 What about hooking up one of our computers? 1277 01:18:36,727 --> 01:18:38,847 Great, but how long an extension cord 1278 01:18:38,927 --> 01:18:40,767 do you think we'll need to fly to the North Pole? 1279 01:18:42,087 --> 01:18:44,287 Would a powerful laptop work? 1280 01:18:45,567 --> 01:18:46,647 Maybe. 1281 01:18:50,967 --> 01:18:52,207 Oh, no. 1282 01:18:53,527 --> 01:18:56,087 No. Not Lappy. 1283 01:19:01,927 --> 01:19:03,887 -(BEEPING) -(WHIRRING) 1284 01:19:05,607 --> 01:19:07,087 (BUZZING AND WHIRRING) 1285 01:19:07,607 --> 01:19:12,247 (LAUGHS) Thank you, Kaitlin. 1286 01:19:14,967 --> 01:19:16,647 And, Nick, thank you for Lappy. 1287 01:19:17,647 --> 01:19:21,647 This has been a very good first step on your long road to rehabilitation. 1288 01:19:22,247 --> 01:19:24,047 Wait. How long do I... 1289 01:19:25,447 --> 01:19:26,567 All right. 1290 01:19:27,407 --> 01:19:30,087 Anyway, it's about time you got something for Christmas 1291 01:19:30,207 --> 01:19:32,727 -besides milk and cookies. -(CHUCKLES) 1292 01:19:33,087 --> 01:19:35,527 And I'll take care of your returns for you. 1293 01:19:35,927 --> 01:19:38,807 Unless, of course, you'd care to come along and do it yourself? 1294 01:19:39,527 --> 01:19:42,327 Uh, Santa, I'm sorry about that, but, uh... 1295 01:19:43,527 --> 01:19:44,967 We need Uncle Nick here, 1296 01:19:46,207 --> 01:19:49,287 'cause, uh, what's Christmas without a family to celebrate it with? 1297 01:19:50,327 --> 01:19:52,327 SANTA: Well, in that case, I'd better be going. 1298 01:19:53,287 --> 01:19:57,087 Now, remember, you gotta keep this under your hats, all right? 1299 01:19:58,047 --> 01:20:02,087 -Not a word to anyone. Right? -Okay. 1300 01:20:05,487 --> 01:20:06,847 -(BUTTON CLICKS) -(CLEARS THROAT) 1301 01:20:06,927 --> 01:20:11,927 You know, I'm going to have to reconsider this whole "naughty and nice" tradition. 1302 01:20:12,767 --> 01:20:14,767 It's not as black and white as I thought. 1303 01:20:15,767 --> 01:20:18,087 And I have you Wrigleys to thank for that. 1304 01:20:19,607 --> 01:20:22,407 -Well, Merry Christmas. -KIDS: Merry Christmas. 1305 01:20:22,487 --> 01:20:23,927 Merry Christmas, Santa. 1306 01:20:25,927 --> 01:20:29,127 Well? Give us some room! 1307 01:20:30,007 --> 01:20:31,407 KAITLIN AND PETER: Oh! Sorry. 1308 01:20:33,007 --> 01:20:34,767 (SLEIGH POWERS UP) 1309 01:20:34,887 --> 01:20:36,167 -DANNY: Bye, Santa! -KAITLIN: Bye, Santa. 1310 01:20:36,287 --> 01:20:37,967 NICK: Bye! PETER: Merry Christmas, Santa. 1311 01:20:38,087 --> 01:20:39,847 DANNY: See you next year! NICK: Thank you, Santa! 1312 01:20:39,967 --> 01:20:42,687 KAITLIN: Bye! Have a nice trip! PETER: Merry Christmas, Santa. 1313 01:20:54,527 --> 01:20:55,887 (DOOR OPENING) 1314 01:21:01,447 --> 01:21:02,527 (JOHN CHUCKLES) 1315 01:21:03,527 --> 01:21:05,567 JOHN: "Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse." 1316 01:21:05,687 --> 01:21:07,007 Boy, do I feel silly. 1317 01:21:07,687 --> 01:21:08,927 Just a second. 1318 01:21:31,407 --> 01:21:33,207 I already got my big present. 1319 01:21:34,767 --> 01:21:35,807 ABBY: Mm. 1320 01:21:59,607 --> 01:22:01,207 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1321 01:22:05,287 --> 01:22:07,287 -(DOOR SLAMMING) -(BELLS JINGLING) 1322 01:22:07,847 --> 01:22:09,727 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 1323 01:22:10,287 --> 01:22:11,967 (LAUGHING AND SHOUTING) 1324 01:22:12,287 --> 01:22:14,527 -Uncle Nick, it's Christmas! -(NICK GROANS) 1325 01:22:14,647 --> 01:22:16,407 It's time for presents. 1326 01:22:16,567 --> 01:22:18,607 Oh, that's right. It's Christmas today. (YAWNS) 1327 01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:21,327 (ALL TALKING AT ONCE) 1328 01:22:21,527 --> 01:22:24,207 -ABBY: Oh, merry Christmas, Nick. -Morning. 1329 01:22:24,447 --> 01:22:26,127 -DANNY: Merry Christmas. -JOHN: Merry Christmas, Nick. 1330 01:22:26,207 --> 01:22:28,127 -Yeah. -(EVERYONE LAUGHING AND TALKING) 1331 01:22:28,247 --> 01:22:30,207 -(NICK GROANS) -JOHN: What time is it? 1332 01:22:30,327 --> 01:22:32,367 -KAITLIN: Danny, this one's for you. -ABBY: Merry Christmas. 1333 01:22:32,447 --> 01:22:34,847 -KAITLIN: Mom! -ABBY: Oh, what's that one? Oh, gosh. 1334 01:22:35,007 --> 01:22:38,407 For me? Thank you. I think you got one here. 1335 01:22:39,087 --> 01:22:41,127 -KAITLIN: Oh! Thank you. -ABBY: There you go. 1336 01:22:41,447 --> 01:22:44,207 (FAMILY CHATTER AND LAUGH) 1337 01:22:45,047 --> 01:22:48,247 -PETER: That's for you. -Yeah. This, this, that's for you. 1338 01:22:48,327 --> 01:22:50,167 -ABBY: Oh, cool! -PETER: That's for you. 1339 01:22:50,487 --> 01:22:55,047 "Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad. I owe you one present." 1340 01:22:56,407 --> 01:23:00,127 That's, uh... That's lovely. (CHUCKLES) 1341 01:23:00,407 --> 01:23:02,567 DANNY: I, I didn't have enough to buy Christmas presents. 1342 01:23:02,807 --> 01:23:04,167 -JOHN: Yeah... -Come on. 1343 01:23:04,287 --> 01:23:07,087 I'm gonna hold you to that one. Merry Christmas, Danny. 1344 01:23:07,167 --> 01:23:08,407 DANNY: Merry Christmas to you. 1345 01:23:08,487 --> 01:23:10,447 JOHN: Open up that one. I think you're gonna like that. 1346 01:23:10,647 --> 01:23:12,487 (PAPER RIPPING) 1347 01:23:12,927 --> 01:23:15,407 Uncle Nick, I found one for you. 1348 01:23:15,967 --> 01:23:17,127 -NICK: For me? -Yeah. 1349 01:23:17,967 --> 01:23:19,847 Okay. Great. Toss it. 1350 01:23:21,647 --> 01:23:22,727 (GROANS) 1351 01:23:24,727 --> 01:23:26,807 Can't, it's too big. 1352 01:23:27,247 --> 01:23:29,207 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on there, pal. 1353 01:23:33,407 --> 01:23:34,727 NICK: Oh, wow. 1354 01:23:36,607 --> 01:23:38,007 It's my guitar. 1355 01:23:39,407 --> 01:23:41,367 The one from McCusack's music store. 1356 01:23:42,847 --> 01:23:45,127 Oh, look, a card. You forgot to read it. 1357 01:23:48,567 --> 01:23:50,167 "To my favorite naughty boy. 1358 01:23:50,647 --> 01:23:53,127 "sorry for the delay, but better late than never. 1359 01:23:54,527 --> 01:23:55,767 Love, Santa." 1360 01:24:03,367 --> 01:24:04,367 (GASPS) 1361 01:24:09,807 --> 01:24:13,807 -Play it, Uncle Nick. -Yeah. Yeah, come on, play it. 1362 01:24:13,927 --> 01:24:15,327 -Please? -PETER: Please, Uncle Nick. 1363 01:24:15,407 --> 01:24:16,647 JOHN: Come on, play it, Nick. 1364 01:24:16,887 --> 01:24:19,327 -ALL: Come on. -PETER: Please? 1365 01:24:23,487 --> 01:24:26,207 -No. No, actually I better not. -PETER: Aw! 1366 01:24:26,607 --> 01:24:29,687 I'm gonna have to sell this ax to pay off some of my debts. 1367 01:24:32,047 --> 01:24:34,607 Well, you're not gonna sell it today. So come on, big rock star, 1368 01:24:34,727 --> 01:24:35,767 Let's see what you got. 1369 01:24:35,927 --> 01:24:37,447 Yeah. The kids have never heard you play. 1370 01:24:37,527 --> 01:24:39,367 Come on, everybody, let's go. Come on! 1371 01:24:39,487 --> 01:24:40,927 -To the sofa. -PETER: Yeah, come on. 1372 01:24:41,087 --> 01:24:43,167 -JOHN: Everybody on the sofa. -All right. 1373 01:24:43,327 --> 01:24:44,767 PETER: Come on, on the sofa! 1374 01:24:45,367 --> 01:24:47,367 -Oh! That's great. -(LAUGHING) 1375 01:24:51,607 --> 01:24:53,647 -JOHN: Yeah! -ABBY: Whoo! 1376 01:24:59,367 --> 01:25:05,127 (CLEARS THROAT) Okay, it's, uh... been a little while since I've... 1377 01:25:05,447 --> 01:25:06,767 -Oh, come on. -Rock and roll! 1378 01:25:07,327 --> 01:25:08,447 No excuses. 1379 01:25:09,367 --> 01:25:10,887 (STRUMS GUITAR) 1380 01:25:13,567 --> 01:25:15,607 (PLAYS JINGLE BELLS BADLY) 1381 01:25:24,087 --> 01:25:26,007 (PLAYS OUT OF TUNE) 1382 01:25:30,407 --> 01:25:32,207 (PROFESSIONAL RIFFING) 1383 01:25:33,007 --> 01:25:35,847 Yeah! (WHOOPS) 1384 01:25:37,167 --> 01:25:38,527 All right! 1385 01:25:39,687 --> 01:25:41,087 (PLAYS COMPLEX RIFF) 1386 01:25:42,527 --> 01:25:46,527 -(LAUGHING) -Oh, what a hot dog. What a hot dog. 1387 01:25:47,207 --> 01:25:49,367 -(JOHN WHOOPS) -ABBY: Yeah! 1388 01:25:49,487 --> 01:25:50,527 (CLAPPING) 1389 01:25:50,887 --> 01:25:53,727 (JOHN CHANTING): Go, Nick! Go, Nick! Go, Nick! 1390 01:25:54,047 --> 01:25:56,327 (WHOOPS AND APPLAUSE) 1391 01:25:59,487 --> 01:26:03,727 DANNY: 'Twas the morning of Christmas, The end of our tale. 1392 01:26:04,807 --> 01:26:09,527 Santa brought all the stuff back, My Uncle Nick didn't go to jail. 1393 01:26:12,327 --> 01:26:16,407 And I've learned the best gift of Christmas comes at no price. 1394 01:26:17,207 --> 01:26:21,767 It's to be with your family, whether you're naughty or nice. 1395 01:26:23,967 --> 01:26:26,367 So that's the end of our story. 1396 01:26:28,207 --> 01:26:29,687 Merry Christmas, everyone.