脸书 谷歌和亚马逊利用我们的数据获利 Facebook, Google, and Amazon exploit our data for profit.
费尔班克斯 副主席 哈巴德 主席
我会帮你们 通过建立一个真正 I will help you by building an internet of the people
民族 民权 民生的互联网 by the people and for the people, so help me God.
前情回顾 硅谷
你说我们不会收集用户数据 You said all that stuff about not collecting user data.
-但我在做 -我对国会说谎了 -But I am. -I just lied to Congress.
互利必须继续作为能独立运作的实体 Hooli will remain an independent entity,
哪怕要裁员减人 even if we have to shed a few divisions
修枝去叶 and trim a little fat.
格瓦特想法很好 Gwart has a really good idea,
但她根本没商业计划 but she doesn't have a business plan.
你好 我是贾里德 Hi, I'm Jared.
我们已经把你全部的不法行为分门别类 We were able to break down all of your misdeeds.
这人的黑料多到炸 我们抓住他的把柄了 This guy is dirty as a dog, and we got him.
太棒了 Oh, hell yes.
这是有史以来最杰出的数据收集平台 It's the greatest data aggregating platform.
这还是理查德特意为我们开发的 And Richard developed it specifically for us.
今早 科林将新版的 So this morning, Colin cut a new build
加卢之门拷到了他的开发服务器上 of Gates of Galloo to his staging server.
这里是博德降 Okay, um, this is Baldereach,
加鲁国的首都 capital city of Galloonia.
那些是穿着加卢铠甲的食尸鬼骑士 Those are some ghoul knights, wearing gelatinous armor.
这是很标准的一款游戏 This is just the game, pretty standard stuff.
直到我… Well, until I...
打开麦克风 turn on the microphone.
你好啊 理查德 你饿了吗 How are you doing, Richard? Are you hungry?
想吃披萨吗 Would you like some pizza?
达美乐披萨
什么鬼 What the fuck?
他直接在游戏引擎里用我们的Api加广告 He's using our API to run ads directly in the game engine?
简直疯了 Crazy, right?
达美乐披萨 Domino's Pizza
出现在幻想的中世纪宇宙 in a fantasy medieval universe.
那又怎样 足够让你想去度假了 Why, it's enough to make you wanna go on vacation.
他甚至还用我们的技术监测情绪 And he's even using our ability to track sentiment.
没错 即便我胡说八道 Yeah. Even if I say nonsense words,
也会被赋予情感值 it assigns them an emotional value.
氟西汀 按摩
该死 Fuck me.
除非我们甩掉科林 但这不可能 So, unless we get rid of Colin, which we can't,
否则他就会一直加广告 he is going to put this on our network.
钱真是毒药 Money just perverts everything.
此时此刻 我能忍受点毒性 At this point, I could stand to be a little perverted.
我想多吃点毒 Yeah, I wanna be a lot perverted.
我想在钱给它老婆打电话时给它吹 I wanna blow money while it talks to its wife on the phone.
-我想舔… -别说了 ‐I wanna suck money.‐All right.
麦克风 Microphone.
小猫 小狗 美国 Kittens, puppies, United Nations!
第
六
季
第
二
集
硅
谷
理查德 你现在方便吗 Richard, is this an okay time?
很方便 贾里德 It's a great time, Jared.
我身边的人都背叛了我 I'm surrounded on all sides by people who turn on me.
-我可以一会儿再来 -不用 没关系 ‐I can come back. ‐No. No, no, it's fine.
那是什么 What do you got?
这是什么 What is this?
我的辞职信 It's my resignation letter.
我要离开 I'm leaving.
什么 What?
被科林骗了一次 你就要一走了之 One gaff with Colin, and you're just gonna walk away?
不仅是这一件事 理查德 It's about so much more than that, Richard.
我为这个决定痛苦了很久 I've been agonizing over this.
睡不着 吃不下 Not sleeping, not eating...
完全忘了教子的40岁生日 I completely forgot my godson's 40th birthday.
理查德 Richard,
魔笛手已经不是我当初加入的公司了 Pied Piper isn't the same company that I signed up for.
她的需求变了 She has different needs now,
你的需求也变了 and so do you,
事实证明 and, it turns out,
我也变了 so do I.
贾里德 Okay, Jared...
我们正一团乱麻 we are in the middle of a shit storm here.
我想尽可能地对你诚实 I'm trying to handle this as honestly as possible.
黑客宿舍有个创始人 There's a founder at the hacker hostel,
她需要我的帮助… and she needs my help, and...
等这边的阻碍都处理完… once I'm free of encumbrances‐‐
阻碍 得了吧 贾里德 Encumbrances?! Oh! Well, fuck me, Jared.
我不想阻碍你 I don't want to encumber you.
好 Okay.
找你的新老板去吧 希望她不是个… Go to your new boss. I hope she's not a...
向我一样的阿斗 你… big of a fuck‐up as I am, you...
坑兄弟的狗逼 buddy‐fucker.
-我不是坑兄弟的狗逼 -不 你是 ‐I'm not a buddy‐fucker. ‐Oh, yes, you are, Jared.
你就是个坑兄弟的狗逼 You are a buddy‐fucker.
我是你兄弟 I am your buddy,
你他妈坑了我 and you are fucking me.
所以 你是坑兄弟狗逼 Ergo, you are a buddy‐fucker.
再见 Goodbye.
-理查德 我不是 -再见 贾里德 谢谢 -Richard, I'm not‐--Goodbye, Jared. Thank you.
这温度挺好 I like it how it is.
但这太暖和了 But it's too warm.
我就想暖和一点 I want it warm.
好吧 Okay.
疯鸡集团 互利
先生们 还有女士 Gentlemen, and lady,
不久前我向你们发起邀请 在毫无准备的情况下 a short time ago, I reached out to you and asked you to invest,
互利 企业策略回顾和五年计划
投资一个更新 更精简 目标更明确的互利 sight unseen, in a newer, leaner, and more focused Hooli.
你们也的确投资了 并不是靠 And invest you did, guided not by
传统的表格或精算表 traditional spreadsheets or actuarial tables,
而是靠你们自己那敏锐的投资头脑 but by your own highly attuned financial‐‐
盖文 你废话少说 Gavin, cut the bullshit.
我们到底还拥有什么 What do we still own?
斯凯尔顿先生 Mr. Skelton.
还是如此的坦诚直率 As candid and as forthright as ever.
-岁月完全没有蒙尘你那 -盖文 -Age has not dulled one iota of‐--Gavin.
当然 我准备好了整个演讲 Of course. I had prepared a presentation,
但我看我直接跳到结尾就好 but I suppose I can just skip to the end.
希望你们能够跟得上 Hopefully, I won't lose you.
好了 Okay...
用温柔的方式 你也可以撼动这个世界 -甘地
我们如果不勇敢 便无法坚守任何美德 我们做不到善良 真诚 慈悲 宽厚或是诚实 -马娅·安杰卢[作家 民权活动家]
孔子 约翰·列侬 Confucius, John Lennon,
尼采 艾茵·兰德[哲学家 作家] Nietzsche, Ayn Rand,
互利投资组合 互利最中之最集锦
史蒂维·旺德[歌手] 就这儿 Steve Wonder, and here we go!
就像这里显示的 As you can see,
在互利皇冠上那数不胜数的宝石中 among the many jewels still in Hooli's crown
互利办公软件 硬件 互利手机应用软件 专利 其他重要的知识产权
有我们激动人心的办公软件 are our exciting suite of office‐‐
网络服务业务在哪 Where is web services?
贝佐斯先生认为那可以完美划归到他的亚马逊云服务里 Well, Mr. Bezos felt it would fold nicely into his AWS,
所以他坚持 so he insisted‐‐
智能音箱和家电呢 Smart speaker and in‐home?
-他连那个也抢走了 -互利家居确实被整合进 -He took that, too? -HooliHome was, indeed, subsumed
-亚马逊Alexa里 -定向搜索呢 -by the Amazon Alexa‐--Targeted search?
讽刺的是 那个也没了 Ironically, also missing.
但我们还拥有互利手机 But we maintain rights to the HooliPhone
及它的专属应用 and its proprietary apps,
和互利小淘气鼠标专利的所有权 the patent for the Hooli Puck Mouse.
我们还拥有我们基于网络的市场 We also maintain our web‐based marketplaces,
包括我们即将上线的生活方式交友平台 including our up‐and‐coming lifestyle networking platform,
-代号F -这他妈是什么鬼 -Foxhole. -What the fuck is that?!
代号F是一个非常激动人心的 Well, Foxhole is a very exciting
网络交流平台 专为某些军人量身定做 web‐based exchange, catering to those in the military,
就是那些想搞婚外恋的军人们 who are interested in having extramarital affairs.
盖文 你认为什么时候我们这八个人 Gavin, when do you expect the eight of us will
能收回我们的投资 recoup our investment?
没错 我下一页就回答这个问题 Ah, yes! That's my very next slide.
在这张之后 After this one.
坚持住 亲爱的
走运的话 Well, with a little luck,
收益底线的五年预测 前路阳光灿烂 保赚不赔
我们会开始盈利 并在三年内利润涨五倍 we'll be profitable and up 5X inside three years.
给你三个月时间 否则就走人 You got three months, or you're out.
梅兰妮会接管贾里德所有的 So, Melanie will take on all of Jared's
市场营销职责 Gwen负责市场开发 marketing duties, Gwen will cover biz dev,
这样就都没问题了 and that should take care of it.
你清楚我的意思吗 Does this scan to you?
-我明白 -很好 -I can see it. -Okay, great.
-好了 回去干活吧 -伯特伦 -Okay, back to work. -Uh, Bertram,
趁我还抓得住你 while I have you...
你抓不住我 You don't have me.
理查德最近让我简化生产力 Richard's just tasked me with streamlining productivity
并平衡员工编制 and balancing headcount.
你能跟我解释下 Can you explain to me why you have
魔笛手
为什么你手下一个人也没有吗 no one working under you?
敏捷开发板显示你的任务大量堆积 It just seems odd considering that the agile board is showing
看着不对劲啊 that you have a massive backlog.
你是新人 You're new here,
所以我原谅你高高在上的语气 so I'll forgive the patronizing tone.
我追求的是质量 I'm more concerned with being right
不是速度 than being fast,
而且我不喜欢跟人打交道 and I don't like dealing with people.
即 谈话结束 To wit, are we done?
你就是"那货” you're "That guy."
哪"货" What "Guy" exactly?
深沉而狂傲 The brooding, arrogant guy
不听话的"那货" who refuses to take orders?
自学成才的程序员 Self‐taught coder who looks down on anyone
鄙视任何上过课的人 who's taken a class.
你或许是个无神论者 You're probably an atheist
或许比这还要叛逆 or something more contrarian.
你自称是无政府主义者 You claim to be an anarcho‐capitalist,
却在这里工作并纳税 but you work here and pay taxes.
你或许对尼尔·斯蒂芬森的《加密宝典》一知半解 You've probably read half of Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon,
你拥有一条蛇的概率是一半一半 and it's about 50/50 whether you own a snake.
他女朋友真的有条蛇 His girlfriend owns a snake.
我读完了《加密宝典》 I finished Cryptonomicon,
你去看看我档案就知道了 and you easily could've just looked in my file.
不必了 I didn't need to.
-我要派给你五位程序员 -不妥 -I'm assigning you five coders. -Inadvisable.
了解 Noted.
我明天一早就带他们过去 I'll send them over first thing tomorrow.
如果你要随机给我选手下 If you're going to throw five randoms under me,
至少让我自己选团队吧 at least let me pick my team.
-那敢情好 -好的 -Fair enough. -Good.
-佐治亚州 -是的 -Georgia? -Mm.
格鲁吉亚与佐治亚州同音
您要把整个公司搬到佐治亚州 You want to move the entire company to Georgia?
-为啥 -硅谷贵的离谱 -Why? -Well, the Valley's become prohibitively expensive.
看看这些数字 Look at these numbers.
如果我们搬去格鲁吉亚 If we move to Georgia,
我们就能省下一笔钱做长远投资 we can save a fortune and get a further investment.
这是唯一的出路 It's the only way.
南方脏口Dj Well, I have heard good things about
说那边吃的不错 the food scene in the Dirty South.
《斯坦科尼亚》 兄弟会大派对 Stankonia. Freaknik.
都是佐治亚州亚特兰大特色
跟更多有色人种在一起或许不错 Might be nice to be around more people of color.
啥 不是亚特兰大所在的那个 What? Not Atlanta.
第比利斯 格鲁吉亚共和国 不是州 Tbilisi. The country of Georgia, not the state.
啥 What?
盖文 Gavin?
第比利斯无疑是个民风淳朴的地方 Tbilisi is no doubt a wonderfully rustic place,
但您就不怕失去这里的存在感 but do you not fear losing a local presence,
跟科技产业 a connection with the beating heart of
心灵的共鸣吗 the technology industry?
脚踏实地的感觉 打个比方 Boots on the ground, so to speak.
我认为这很恰当 先生 I think it's wise, sir.
说得对啊 Shit. You're right.
我得在这保持存在感 I need to be here to maintain my relevance.
好吧 B计划 All right then. Plan B.
你俩跟团队一起去白俄罗斯 You two and the team will move to Belarus.
如果离切尔诺贝利隔离区足够近 If we can get close enough to the Chernobyl exclusion zone,
那边是买手市场 it's a buyer's market,
从第比利斯换到那个破地方 and with the money we save from substantially
省下的巨款 downgrading from Tbilisi,
加上白俄罗斯大佬们对我们的大额投资 plus the bigger Belarusian investment we've been offered,
我这边经营个门面 I'll maintain a pied‐à‐terre here in town.
现在 我需要给你们更重的责任 Now, I'll need to rely much more heavily on you
因为你们可能就不怎么能见到我了 because you probably won't see me much.
我需要你们带领军队 I'll need you to guide the troops
并且连接起语言的鸿沟 and bridge the language gap,
但是 but...
天 God damn,
我是多么敬重你们二位 I respect the hell out of you both.
你确定吗 Are you sure about this?
确定 确定 没有 Yeah. Yeah, no.
我们的网络里不能有这种垃圾游戏 We can't have that atrocious game anywhere on our network.
我们得融资 We have to do a raise.
现在时机真的很不合适 但是 Well, it's a terrible time to do it, but...
我是说 你决定呗 I mean, it's your call.
不过需要很大一笔 It's gonna have to be a big number though.
很好 Yeah, good.
看来我们需要见些投资人了 I guess we should set up some meetings, yeah?
太花时间 我们用个快点的方法吧 Too time‐consuming. Let's jump‐start the process.
你想接受慈善吗 Are you feeling charitable?
一天39分钱 真的就能 Just 39 cents a day can literally
改变像这样的一个大家庭 feed an entire family like this.
想想看 然后问问自己 Think about it, then ask yourself...
入侵饥荒
好了 这个地方算是风投见面会 All right, so this place is the who's who of VCs,
所以我们转一圈 大概认识一下 so let's do a lap, take inventory,
就从最大的公司开始 一个一个... and we'll start with the biggest firm, work our way down to‐‐
-劳里 -莫妮卡 理查德 -Laurie! -Monica. Richard.
你怎么在这里 What are you doing here?
和你一样吧 我想 The same as you, I suppose.
吃吃鱼子酱 Eating caviar and...
入侵一下饥荒 hacking famine.
不是 我以为你搬去中国了 No, I thought you moved to China.
搬家有一个很有趣的特点 莫妮卡 The interesting thing about moving, Monica,
就是你可以重复这个动作 我回来了 is that you can do it more than once. I am back.
你也许想知道 You may be intrigued to know
我切断了姚和姚网络的关系 that I have severed ties with Yao and YaoNet.
所以你又回风投了吗 So, you're going back to VC?
不是 Oh, no.
你误会了 You misunderstand.
我是说我切断了姚和姚网络之间的关系 I have severed ties between Yao and YaoNet.
姚走人了 而我自己成为了 Yao has been exited, and I have made myself
公司首席执行官 the CEO of the company,
现在我要把公司搬回美国 which I am moving back to the US,
而且为了增添一丝美国味道 and in order to make it sound more American,
我要改名叫美国姚网络 I am renaming it "YaoNetUS."
等等 你要在这里发布 Wait. So, you're launching here?
是的 现在没了那些中国人妨碍我 Yes, and with those Chinese out of the way,
我终于可以实施我残酷的高效模式了 I can finally be more ruthlessly efficient.
说到这里 Speaking of,
失陪 excuse me.
不会吧 你是逗我吗 What? Are you fucking kidding me?
理查德 镇定 好了 她不懂技术 Richard, relax, okay, she's got inferior tech,
也没有程序员 she's got no developers.
你还记得她想经营埃克洛那次吗 You remember when she tried to run Eklow?
她首席执行官最多当一周 She's gonna last a week as CEO.
我是说 你看她 她都绝望了 I mean, look at her. She's desperate.
已经开启调情模式了 She's already in total flirt mode.
我相信有了合理的管理方式... I do believe with proper management...
她和我们一样都需要钱 She needs money just like we do.
我们管好自己就好 好吗 Let's just worry about us, okay?
我会介绍你 你就... I will introduce you, and just...
让我来跟他们谈 好吗 let me do the talking, okay?
不要说话 除非... Don't speak until‐‐
魔笛手的理查德·亨德里克斯 Richard Hendricks from Pied Piper.
埃里克·里维拉 格雷夫斯合伙人 Eric Rivera, Graves Partners.
我看到了你在议会的证词 I saw your congressional testimony,
我当时就想 我的天 and I thought, man,
我一定要跟这个家伙谈谈 I really need to talk to that guy.
是吗 很好 Oh, you did? Huh, cool.
是啊 我的意思是 Yeah. I mean, you committed
你在电视上公开保证 to a really bad business model,
自己的商业模式弱爆了 on national TV.
我只是想知道 I guess I just wanted to know,
你当时到底怎么想的 what the hell were you thinking?
跟脸书开战是一回事 I mean, picking a fight with Facebook is one thing,
但在镜头前同时嘲笑谷歌和亚马逊 but shitting on Google and Amazon at the same time,
你脑子里在想什么 in front of TV cameras? What was going on in your brain?
还有互利 我也嘲笑他们了 所以... And‐and Hooli. I‐I shit on them, too, so...
我们当时都在办公室的电视前 I mean, we're all sitting in front of the TV in our office,
认为你是技术圈最蠢的家伙 thinking this is the dumbest man in tech.
之后继续讨论的时候 我们意识到 等等 And then we talked about it, and we realized, hang on,
-这完全不公平 -是吗 很好 -That is totally unfair. -Yeah, you did? Good.
是啊 因为你当时是被传唤的 Yeah, because, I mean, you were subpoenaed,
对吧 你当时宣誓过的 right? You were under oath?
-你还能说什么呢 -严格上讲 我没有... -What were you supposed to do? -Technically, I don't...
你没有...没有发誓 You weren't... you weren't under oath?
我并没有 Mm, I don't think so.
你在开玩笑吗 Are you kidding me?
等等 卡尔 本 快过来 你们得听听这个 Wait. Karl, Ben! Come over here. You gotta hear this.
我们都错了 把刚才的话再说一遍 We were wrong, man! Tell them what you just told me.
理查德·亨德里克斯 魔笛手 对吗 Richard Hendricks, from Pied Piper, yes?
不 Uh, no.
马克西莫·雷耶斯 我是来自智利的投资人 Maximo Reyes. I am an investor from Chile.
我必须要告诉你 见到你很荣幸 Wow, I gotta tell you, it is an honor to meet you, man.
真的 我非常喜欢你们的技术 Truly, I am such a big fan of your technology.
-什么 你是说真的 还是... -当然是真的 -What, like, really, or... -Of course. Hi.
我们在握手 We are shaking hands.
是吗 Correct?
但我相信你要跟更重要的人谈话 But I'm sure you have more important people to talk to,
而且你残忍地表明自己 you know, and, you have made it painfully clear
不想要我这个投资者 所以... that you do not want me as an investor, so‐‐
不 等一下 我表明 我什么时候表明的... No, h‐hold on. Wait, I‐I‐I made it clear? When did I‐‐
不 你不是亲口说的 Oh no, not you personally, but I spoke with somebody
但我跟你公司的一个人谈过很多次 from your company many times.
雅里兹 Uh, Yarez?
雅里兹 Yarez?
雅里兹·邓... Y‐Yarez Dun...
雅里兹 Yarez‐-Oh!
-贾里德 -没错 -Jared. -Yes!
-随便吧 -反正就那个破名 -Whatever... -Potatoes, potatoes.
雅里德其实不为我们工作了 所以... Well, uh, Yared doesn't really work with us anymore, so...
-好吧 -是的 -Oh, wow. Well, then. -Yeah.
看看我们俩 Look at you and me.
我们在谈话 We are talking.
你有没有喝过智利的"地震"酒 Have you ever had a Chilean terremoto?
-丹波克 你有时间吗 -是的 -Denpok, got a minute? -Yes.
我可能找到了一个让我们留在美国的办法 I may have a way to keep us here in the US.
请说 Talk.
你对CIFIUS熟悉吗 Are you familiar with CIFIUS?
是的 Yes.
不熟悉 No.
美国外国投资委员会 The Committee on Foreign Investment in the US,
简称CIFIUS or CIFIUS,
它是一个权力巨大的联邦机构 is a federal agency that has wide latitude
致力于阻止美国公司 to prevent American companies
与外国人做生意 from doing business with foreigners,
以防出现国家安全威胁 if there's a national security threat.
你熟悉基达这个约会应用吗 Are you familiar with the dating app Grindr?
不熟 No.
熟悉 Yes.
去年 CIFIUS否决了 Last year, CIFIUS reversed the sale
将基达出售给中国投资人 of Grindr to Chinese investors.
他们裁决美国公民的性向与艾滋病资料 They ruled that the sexual and HIV status of US citizens
是不能放在外国人手里的 was something they needed to keep
避免让外国人了解到 out of the hands of foreign interests.
我理解 I understand.
今天早上 我翻看代号F的用户数据库 This morning, I was on the user database of Foxhole,
偶然看到一张熟悉的面孔 when I happened upon a familiar face.
四星上将汉利·巴里斯 Four‐star General Hanley Barris.
他不长这样 That is not his face.
对 确实不是 No, it is not.
但是他作为一位四星上将 But as a four‐star general,
可以匿名迫使美国外国投资委员会 he could anonymously compel CIFIUS
阻止代号F或他们的股东 to prevent Foxhole or its ownership
搬迁到国外 from moving to foreign soil.
不用去白俄罗斯了 No more Belarus?
我认为巴里斯上将会由衷希望 I think General Barris would be very keen
这种类型的资料不要让 to keep this type of material out of the hands of
外国人看到 foreign interests,
这个外国人特指他老婆 Yekatarina and by that, I mean his wife, Yekatarina.
你昨天晚上怎么回事 What happened to you last night?
天呐 你这一身的酒臭味 Oh my God, you reek of booze.
整晚都没回家吗 Were you out all night?
莫妮卡 Monica...
-我遇上好事了 -不必多说 -I got lucky. -Didn't need to know that.
不 不 比你想的还好 No, no, I got even luckier than that.
告诉我 你知道智利的国树 Tell me, did you know that the national tree of Chile
是阿劳乌卡利亚松吗 is the piñoner?
还有 Also this,
-你知道马克西莫·雷耶斯是谁吗 -知道 -Do you know who Maximo Reyes is? -Yeah.
智利首富 我就在他的客厅 The richest man in Chile. Well, I saw that very tree
见到了那棵非比寻常的树 in the middle of his living room,
他还让我爬了 and he let me climb it.
你见到了马克西莫·雷耶斯 You met Maximo Reyes
还去了他家 and you went to his house?
是的 他给我展示了他的艺术收藏品 Yeah, and he showed me his art collection,
我们喝了很多地震酒 and we drank a number of terremotos,
味道 恶心到炸 which are... fucking disgusting.
总之吧 我可能说服了他 Anyway, I may have convinced him
给我们足够的钱 to give us enough money
来甩掉科林 to get rid of Colin.
等等 什么 Wait, what?
我随口一提五千万 I casually floated 50 million,
他眼都没眨一下 and he didn't even bat an eye.
理查德 Richard...
贾里德想摆脱这人是有原因的 There's a reason Jared tried to ditch this guy.
-我们不能拿他的钱 -为什么不能 -We cannot take his money. -Why not?
他说过他的钱是哪儿来的吗 Did he tell you where he gets it from?
提到过他祖父是 How his grandfather was
皮诺切特的秘密警察部队头目吗 the chief of secret police under Pinochet?
[智利前总统]
说过他们是怎么运营矿场的吗 About how they ran their mines?
可以说他们就是奴隶贩子 They were basically slave traders.
他不会真的那么十恶不赦吧 He can't really be all that bad.
我是说 他非常非常喜欢魔笛手 I mean, he really, really likes Pied Piper.
我们不能接受血腥钱 Look, we cannot take blood money.
你还觉得投放广告不好 You thought selling ads were bad?
他们这些人在足球场对人行刑 These guys executed people in soccer stadiums.
我一开始是想接受的 I was open to it at first,
但是贾里德很坚决 他是对的 but Jared was adamant and he's right.
五千万听起来很好 但是 Fifty million sounds great, but
远不足以用来买你的道德底线 it's an awfully low price to pay for your integrity.
妈的 Fuck.
听着 Look,
我知道科林是个恶棍 I know Colin is a sleazebag,
但至少他只是暂时跟我们合作 but at least he's temporary.
马克西莫比他坏无数倍 Okay, Maximo is a thousand times worse,
而且会永远跟我们绑在一起 and he would be permanent.
毫无意外 Of course.
他刚把投资条款清单发给我了 He just e‐mailed me the term sheet.
我都不想看见跟他有关的任何东西 I don't even wanna look at him.
转发给我就好 Just forward it to me.
-我来搞定 -谢谢 -I'll take care of it. -Thanks.
我知道这样很糟 但我保证 I know that this sucks, but I promise you,
你做的是对的 you're doing the right...
五千万 Fifty million?
你记得有人给我们投一千万时吗 Do you remember when I was offered 10?
理查德 Richard.
这不是五千万 It's not $50 million.
更多吗 Is it more?
这是十个亿 理查德 It's a billion, Richard.
多少 A what?
他出十亿元买10%的股权 He just offered us a billion dollars for 10%.
该死 Fuck.
你已经点了一支烟了 You're already holding a cigarette.
吉尔弗约尔先生 Mr. Gilfoyle!
-请说 -这是你的新团队吗 -Yes, ma'am? -Is this your new team?
没错 It is.
五个人 如你所愿 Five people, as you requested.
-那边那人 -肯 -That man over there? -Ken.
-他不是倒咖啡的吗 -咖啡师 没错 -Isn't he the coffee guy? -Barista. Yes.
乔伊斯给植物浇水 And Joyce was watering the plants.
莫娜负责安保 Mona was working security.
丹和乔治 他们粉刷大厅 Dan and George, they were painting the lobby.
直到今日 Until today.
对了刚想起来 他们要把 Which reminds me, they all need to change
领英状态更新为 their LinkedIn status to...
专职讨好中层管理人员 "Placaters of middle management."
我得承认 这可是头一回 I'll be honest, this is sort of a first.
而你还以为我只是 And here you thought I was just...
"那货"而已 "that guy."
你说得对 吉尔弗约尔 You know, Mr. Gilfoyle, you're right.
你不是"那货" You're not "that guy,"
我帮助七家公司成功上市 because at the seven companies I've helped take public,
每一家的"那货"都能正视自己的不足 every other "that guy" accepted their limitations,
组建团队 完成任务 took on a team, and managed to get their work done.
有些人已经是亿万富翁了 Some of them are now billionaires.
工作进度落后两周时 None of them would've gotten into
没人会试图跟人力资源 a dick-measuring contest with HR
比屌竞赛 when they were two weeks behind.
我们真是幸运 So, lucky us,
你大概举世无双 I guess you're unique.
吉尔弗约尔 我第一次听说 You know, Gilfoyle, when I first heard the phrase
"比屌竞赛"这个词时 我以为是说 "Dick-measuring contest," I thought it was a contest
看谁能量更多的屌 to see who could measure the most dicks.
结果不是 But it isn't,
对吧 吉尔弗约尔 is it, Gilfoyle?
是打错了吗 也许是打错了 Is it a typo? Maybe it's a typo.
没有打错 理查德 报价里写了 It's not a typo, Richard. It's spelled out in the offer.
十亿美元 一次付清 One billion dollars, in one lump sum.
好 我该怎么办 Okay, what do I do?
-我不知道 -好 好 -I don't know. -Oh. Okay, well,
你之前挺相信贾里德说这是黑钱的 Jared had you pretty convinced that this was evil money.
这他妈可是十个亿 理查德 It's a billion fucking dollars, Richard!
行 所以这笔钱是更干净了 Okay, so does that make this less evil or, like,
还是更脏了 Way more evil?
别碰 Do not touch.
有电子签名 你一按就完了 It's an e-sign. You touch that button, it's over.
告诉我该怎么办 Tell me what to do.
莫妮卡 这是你的工作 Monica, this is your job!
听着 我妹妹 Look, when my sister
大一时怀了孕 got pregnant her freshman year of college,
我让她堕胎 I said get an abortion.
现在我侄女 达科塔 顺利降生 Well, now my niece, Dakota, who is very much with us,
叫我"堕胎阿姨" calls me "Aunt Abortion."
抱歉 I'm sorry.
你是首席执行官 你负责 You are the CEO, this is on you.
我得和迪尼希和吉尔弗约尔聊聊 Well, I gotta talk to Dinesh and Gilfoyle.
不行 不能和那帮禽兽谈 No, you can't talk to those animals!
你对外面的任何人提一嘴 You say a word to anyone out there,
这整家公司 and this whole company
在五秒钟之内就会变成《蝇王》重现 turns into Lord of the Flies in five seconds.
理查德 这可是十亿美元 It's a billion dollars, Richard.
我很抱歉 你得靠你自己了 I'm sorry. You're on your own.
莫妮卡 Monica...
理查德 现在有个重大危机 Richard, there is a major emergency.
吉尔弗约尔把咖啡师招去当码农 Gilfoyle is using the barista as one of the coders,
所以我尝试着自己用卡布奇诺机器 so I tried to use the cappuccino machine on my own,
但是起泡剂的开关好像 and I don't know if, like, the frother knob is, like,
卡住了之类的 jammed or something,
就完全用不了 but it's, like, not working.
所以每个人 So, there is no froth,
都没有奶泡了 at all, for anybody.
你能处理下吗 So, can you get on that?
-好的 -太棒了 -Yeah. -Okay, great.
他去处理了 He's on it!
情况真糟糕 It's really a shit sandwich.
他们进去有段时间了 They've been in there for a while.
不知道进展得怎么样 Wonder how it's going.
Barris将军 谈妥了吗 General Barris. Is it done?
-太棒了 -替我向您的太太问好 -Wonderful. -Say hello to your wife for me.
盖文 会议怎么样 Gavin! How was the meeting?
操 Fuck!
理查德 Richard?
你在这干什么 What are you doing here?
你有空吗 Do you have a second?
有 进来吧 Yeah, yeah. Come on in.
我知道你想让马克西莫远离我 I know you tried to keep Maximo away from me,
但事情不知道怎么回事 最后就变成这样 but one thing lead to another and‐and now this.
-这报价真高 -是啊 -That is quite an offer. -Yeah.
我该怎么做 So, what do I do?
听着理查德 我知道你说莫妮卡不管这事了 Look, Richard, I know you said Monica's checked out on this,
但这件事对魔笛手有重大意义 but... this is kind of a monumental Pied Piper matter.
我觉得你应该找公司内的人给你建议 I think you should get advice from somebody within the company.
这就是我来的原因 贾里德 That's why I'm here, Jared.
你就是这个人 That's you.
你得回来 You gotta come back.
-理查德 -我知道 -Richard -I‐I know
你的职责慢慢转变了 your job changed over time,
但我们可以改回来 but we can undo that.
重建你在公司的角色 You know, restructure your role,
搬到楼上来 离我更近 move you upstairs so you're closer to me.
只要你能回来怎么样都行 Whatever it takes to make it work.
你想想 我们会是 Come on, think about it. We'll be...
一对好兄弟 跟以前一样 a pair of boys, back in business.
理查德 太晚了 Richard, it's too late. I mean,
你让我走了 所以我已经接受了这里的工作 you know, you let me go, so I took the job here
-跟格瓦特一起 -那有什么 -with Gwart, and‐--So?
进去告诉格瓦特你要辞职 Go inside and tell Gwart you're leaving.
忠诚不是这样的 Well, that's not how loyalty works.
那太不公平了 I mean, that wouldn't be fair.
公平 Fair?
几年前 你来到这间房子 Years ago, you came to this house,
求我给你份工作 而我给你了 begging me for a job, and I gave you one.
事实上我让你当了首席运营官 In fact, I made you COO. And now,
但当我最需要你的时候 你在背后捅我刀子 when I need you the most, you stab me in the back,
你真有胆子教育我什么是忠诚 and you have the balls to lecture me about loyalty?
你他妈是在开玩笑吗 Are you fucking kidding me?
我是对的 I was right.
你这个坑兄弟狗逼 You are a buddy‐fucker.
-请不要再这么说 -坑兄弟狗逼 -Please stop saying that. -Buddy‐fucker.
别再说了 Stop saying that.
请离开这间房子 And‐and‐and please just leave this house,
-否则我无法为我的行为负责 -是吗 -Or I can't be held responsible for my behavior. -Oh yeah?
贾里德 你要做什么 What are you gonna do, Jared? Huh?
你是要坑死你兄弟我吗 你现在 You gonna buddy‐fuck me? 'Cause that's what you do
-就是在坑你兄弟们 -出去 -to your buddies now, isn't it? -Get out.
格瓦特 不行不行 光照太强了 Oh, Gwart. No, no, no! That's too much sun.
我的天 Oh my God.
这就是格瓦特 This is Gwart?
理查德 Richard...
你就为了这种人离开我 This is who you're walking away for?
理查德 别这样 Richard, do not.
她是你新找的程序员小女友吗 She's your new little code girlfriend?
-别这样 -这位 -Don't. -This, uh‐‐
-别说 -这个死鱼眼 -Don't. -This googly‐eyed...
-别 别 别 -喝垃圾饮料的 -No, no, no, no... -Yoo‐hoo drinking‐‐
-别说了 -老天 -No! -Oh my God.
好了 好了好了 听着 对不起 Oh, okay, okay, okay, look, I'm sorry!
-不 -好了 -No. -All right.
我要打得你满地找牙 你个狗娘养的贱货 I oughta knock your teeth, you bitch‐made motherfucker.
我我我...我不是有意的 I‐I‐I... I didn't mean it.
我是被福利系统救助长大的 I was state‐raised!
你以为我怕惹上 You think I'm scared to catch a case
-什么麻烦吗 -对...对不起 贾里德 -of some bullshit?! -I‐I'm sorry, Jared!
我不是有意的 好吗 I didn't mean it, okay?
对不起 格瓦特 我不是有意的 I'm sorry, Gwart. I didn't mean it!
你那张臭嘴不许叫她的名字 You keep her name out of your skanky little mouth,
你个不值一提的小杂种 you little, little bitch!
这里是办公场... This is a place of business‐‐
老天 别开枪 Oh my God. Don't shoot me!
贾里德 Jared!
-贾里德 -是假子弹 你个下三滥的白杂碎 -Jared! Aah! -Dope‐led, peckerwood motherfucker!
-贾里德 不要 -去死吧 混球 -Jared! Jared, no! -Get checked in, hoe!
我的天 Oh, Jesus!
你他妈想被刀捅吗 哥们 You wanna dance on the blacktop, homie?!
你自找的 理查德 You did this, Richard!
什么鬼 Ow, what the fuck?
吉尔弗约尔先生 你想在我下班前见我是吗 Mr. Gilfoyle! You wanted to see me before I left?
是的 翠西 Yes, Tracy, I did.
我希望你能见证我提交所有积压代码的时刻 I wanted you to be here when I push my entire backlog of code.
你全写完了 在24小时之内 You finished all of it? In just 24 hours?
是的 完全独立完成 I did, all by myself.
你现在可以道歉了 I'll take that apology now.
吉尔弗约尔先生 你说我必须做出选择 Mr. Gilfoyle, you said that I had to choose.
你说我效率和正确率不可兼得 You said I could have it fast or I could have it right,
但我刚刚二者兼得了 but I just got it fast and right,
而我只不过是用给你安排其他程序员的手段 and all I had to do was threaten your manhood
逼迫你维护自尊 by assigning you other coders.
这办法在其他七家公司都有效 It worked at seven other companies,
显然在这里也很有效 and it obviously worked here.
我们又赶上进度了 We're back on schedule!
那我有什么可道歉的呢 Now, why would I be sorry about that.
我承认你很有本事 I respect your skills.
谢谢 Thank you.
明早见 See you in the morning.
现在 我们手里都拿着 And now, we are both holding
-一杯威士忌 -是的 -a whiskey. -Yes.
马克西莫 我先跟你道个歉 Maximo, I wanna apologize
没有提前通知就擅自来了 for coming over here unannounced.
我想跟你谈成这笔生意 And I wanna do this deal with you,
但是 天啊 but... Jesus‐‐
理查德 你对我的家族生意有顾虑 Richard, you have some concerns because of my family.
我是说...对 I mean... yeah.
理查德 你看到这些照片了吗 Richard, do you see these photographs?
这些人 好多都是儿童 Now, these people, a lot of them children,
从前都在我家的矿上为我父亲工作 used to work for my father in my family's mines.
我把他们挂在这里是为了提醒自己 Now, I keep them here as a reminder
我的父亲曾犯下许多许多的错误 of the many, many mistakes my father made.
我想修正这些错误 理查德 I want to fix those mistakes, Richard.
给你和你的公司投资 By investing in you and your company,
就是我改正之路的开始 I'll be able to start doing that.
你真的这么认为吗 Do you really believe that?
理查德 我们会改变世界的 就咱俩 Richard, we are going to change the world, you and I.
老天 怎么回事 Shit! What was that?
哦 就是些鸟 被树引来的 你懂的 Ah, the birds. You know, they're attracted to the tree,
有时就会 是吧 咣当 so sometimes, you know, kapffft!
还能怎么办 What are you gonna do?
-为修正我父亲犯下的错误干杯 -好吧 -To rectifying the mistakes of my father. -Sure. Yeah.
那个蠢货竟然让工人成立了工会 The fool who allowed the workers to unionize
要求更高的工资 and ask for higher wages
去更贵的医院 and more expensive hospitals.
-而我们 -抱歉 等等 你说什么 -We‐--Uh, sorry. What was that?
哦 我祖父发迹赚了一大笔钱 Yes. My grandfather, he built a great fortune,
差点被我那个蠢货父亲都败光了 but then my idiot father almost gave it all away.
不过现如今可不一样了 But not now, though. Oh no.
如今我挖铜 钴 和钻石 Now, I mine copper, cobalt and diamonds,
多亏你 之后还要挖 and now, thanks to you,
数据 多谢了 data. Gracias.
呃 不对 你说什么 Uh, no. No, what?
不 我们不挖 No, we do not‐‐
老天 Oh my God!
我们不会 No, we...
我们不会挖掘用户数据的 we will not mine user data.
我之前说得很清楚 I was very clear about that.
但你们就在挖啊 But you do.
还记得你跟我说的话吗 理查德 Richard, did you not tell me
那天你和我坐在我的树上 交流情感 when we were sitting on my tree, bonding,
你说现在你们合作方里就有一位 that there is a man in your network right now,
用你开发的工具 在挖用户数据 不是吗 using a tool, that you built, in order to mine user data?
不 他不会再继续了 以后也不会有了 No. That is coming to an end. That doesn't happen anymore.
理查德 得了 干杯 Richard, please. Cheers.
敬我们日后的共同事业 To our future endeavors together.
马克西莫 Maximo...
我这边不会收集用户数据或以之盈利的 we will never collect and monetize user data.
永远不会 Ever.
那我凭什么给你十亿美金 理查德 Then why would I give you one billion dollars, Richard?
你看 我不像我父亲 我不是个蠢货 Look at me. I am not a fool like my father.
你不会成心想让我难堪吧 You are turning this into a dick‐measuring contest.
我劝你别这样 我跟你保证 Please don't, because I assure you,
最后一定是你难堪 it will be I who measures the most.
你这是在威胁我吗 Are‐are you threatening me?
给你钱你就收着 理查德 Take my money, Richard.
那样你好 It'll be very good for you,
我也好 and very good for me.
你要是不收 理查德 But if you do not take my money, Richard...
那你可不会有什么好下场 oh, it will be very bad for you.
理查德 我是马克西莫 Richard, it's Maximo.
看咱俩 通上话了 We are on the phone.
我跟你说之后会发生什么 Let me tell you what is going to happen to you next.
下期预告 硅谷
我就只想成为百万富翁 All I wanted to do was be a golden millionaire.
被人尿一身的百万富翁吗 A millionaire that gets peed on?
这目标 我看你能达成一半 I could see you making half that happen.
就这一次 我能跟你实话实说吗 Can I be honest with you for once?
就这一次是什么意思 你是我的律师 For once? You're my attorney.
你没选择了 You're out of options.
-老天 -我们能买下'互利' -Holy shit. -We could buy Hooli.
各就各位 Take your marks.
硅谷
我可宝刀未老 胡佛 I still got it, Hoover.