Are you there?
I'm here.
Help me. My client is going to jail.
Oh, no, she's not.
I think I've got it.
Really?
Look up Hasson v. Conrad.
Similar circumstantial evidence --
case was thrown out.
Legaleagle, thank you.
You are by far the most brilliant mind
in this chat room.
Thank you, Lawyer-girl.
I realize we have certain anonymity here,
but do you, by any chance, have a name?
It's Charlene.
I missed you yesterday.
How was your day?
Uneventful.
I exercised for an hour in the morning,
poked around in the yard in the afternoon,
and visited with a girlfriend down the block in the evening.
Sounds innocent enough.
Don't let my humdrum day fool you, now.
I also have a very dark side.
Well, I'm 31
with long, flowing locks and an athletic body.
Peter, what do you look like?
I'm...a little older... 6'2".
My hair is... it's light.
Uh, it's boyishly light.
And good night to you, Lawyer-girl.
Gendler.
-Good morning, Mr. Sanderson. -Hi.
Morning, Peter.
How are you?
Gentlemen.
Oh, good. Peter's here. We can begin.
Okay. On to pressing business.
Word has come to us
that coffee heiress Mrs. Virginia Arness
has dismissed her current tax lawyers.
Virginia Arness.
74 years old, born and raised in Athens, Georgia.
At the age of 13,
she was shipped off to boarding school in England,
where she's been residing until just recently.
That was only two days ago.
Impressive.
Now, we've all heard
that Mrs. Arness has a penchant for thriftiness.
And that she brings new meaning to the term "conservative."
It's not going to be easy.
She's paranoid and suspicious. Peter --
I'm her guy.
I'm single. I'll give her nights, weekends.
Aren't you getting married on Sunday, Todd?
That's flexible.
And, Peter, I wouldn't want this to interfere
with your family's Hawaiian vacation.
You go on.
I got it all taken care of.
Mahalo,
Well, that's very admirable of you, Todd.
I mean, your youth definitely makes you an ass...
...et to the company,
especially at the annual softball game.
But to an archconservative, 74-year-old woman?
What will we do is not charge Mrs. Arness one single red cent
for her estate planning.
Why?
Because we don't care about that measly fee.
We use it as a loss leader to get her corporate business,
the multibillion-dollar Arness coffee conglomerate.
Hmm.
How may I help you, Howie?
Just thought I'd congratulate you on turning it around.
Turning what around?
You snaked Gendler.
Please. Gendler doesn't bother me.
Oh, that's right. He doesn't bother you.
What the heck was I thinking?
Listen, I thought maybe after work
you and me go tie one on,
maybe check out some of the local talent.
Can't. I'm meeting Mrs. Arness at 6:00.
And by the way, it's "You and I go tie one on,"
not "You and me go."
Somebody messaging you here.
Who's Lawyer-girl?
Nobody.
Whoa. Did someone make a blind lnternet date?
No. I mean, you know, well, technically, but no.
I met her in a legal chat room.
She's, uh, very classy and smart.
When do you nail her?
I'm courting her tonight at 7:00.
Oh, jeez. You're courting her. Sounds like a hot one.
And this is her?
Yeah, she's attractive, isn't she?
I suppose. It's not my cup of tea.
What do you -- she is universally cute.
Eh, she's a little too anemic-looking, Petey.
I like my jello to jiggle, if I'm not being too subtle.
You're not being too subtle.
All right, as long as she spins your knobs, I'm happy for you.
Have you nailed anyone since Kate?
Nail-- I was supposed to call her.
Sofia, can you get my wife on the phone?
-Ex-wife. -Ex-wife on the phone?
Right away.
Can't help you with this one, pal. See you later.
Peter, you cannot break another promise to these kids.
You just can't.
I said I couldn't take them to Hawaii.
I didn't say I couldn't take them.
They can spend the week with me.
They are gonna be so disappointed.
I can't talk to you right now.
Um...Daddy can't take you to Hawaii.
Oh, darn.
He always does this.
Sanderson, party of two.
Oh, you're the last to arrive.
How long has she been here?
Mmm, about 20 minutes.
Was she trouble?
Thank you.
Hello. I'm Peter Sanderson.
Well, I'm glad they didn't send a child.
I told them I specifically wanted someone my own age.
What a wonderful French bulldog.
My mother had one. They make great companions.
What's her name?
His name is William Shakespeare.
Well, of course.
Now, I've heard about your unfortunate escapade.
I don't have escapades.
Fiasco with your previous attorney.
The man was a thieving criminal.
Just because I have a lot of money
doesn't give people the right to overcharge.
I do not enjoy being taken advantage of.
Which is why our service is free of charge.
After all, you worked hard for your money.
I'm an heiress.
An heiress who worked hard to keep her money.
Now, shall we get down to business?
Fine.
So, now you may hand over your proposal.
I'll take it with me.
Proposal?
Well, I was expecting to meet with you tomorrow.
I was assured the proposal would be ready
for this afternoon.
I see no point in our meeting tomorrow.
Excuse me. Madam, I'm sorry.
We have a no-dog policy in the lounge.
Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to ask you to remove the dog.
Excuse me. I am Mrs. Arness' attorney,
and because there is no sign posted regarding dogs,
that means there is no policy toward dogs.
Now, if you want to avoid a legal situation,
I would suggest you run to the kitchen
and get some tuna tartare for William Shakespeare
on the house.
Yes, sir.
I'm terribly sorry, ma'am.
Where and when tomorrow?
Hello, Mr. Sanderson.
Oh, Mrs. Kline. Always a pleasure.
And when am I going to get to babysit
with your charming little Georgey again?
Oh, uh, well, uh, soon,
because he just loves coming over to your place.
Uh, Mr. Sanderson?
Those Latin people who were skulking around...
Oh. They were looking at the Aruda house.
Casing it?
No, uh, to buy it.
Oh, please.
If they're in this block and not carrying a leaf blower --
Yeah.
Well, I'd love to discuss this with you further,
but I'm expecting someone.
Ohh.
Yeah.
Hey.
Hi.
Yeah.
I hope you like cham...
...poo.
What's up, baby?
Ooh, champagne. I love champagne.
This for me?
Oh, I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong house.
It is damn good to finally connect.
Pardon me?
It's me, fool -- Charlene.
Ooh, food.
What?
It's me, honey. Your date -- Lawyer-girl.
You can't be.
Hey, hey, hey. Leave that alone.
Well, why can't l?
Because you're not a blonde.
Can't get nothing past you.
You must be a bomb-ass lawyer.
Oh, look at all of these pretty candles --
all romantic and shit.
Somebody was planning on getting some booty tonight.
Hey! Leave that alone. There are settings.
And you can't be Charlene, because Charlene is more of...
Skinny white broad?
Yeah.
You know, I get that a lot.
But that's your fault you're thinking that, bro.
You must have not have took a good look at that picture.
I have looked at that picture a lot,
and trust me, you are not in it.
Mm-hmm.
Move, move, move. Let me do it.
See?
There I am.
Sorry you got it twisted, dog.
I don't get a lot of photo ops where I been.
Where exactly have you been?
I got a rumble in the jungle. We still having dinner or what?
I asked you a question.
Rolex.
Rolex?
I did time, baby, but I ain't do the crime.
You're a convict?
Bump that.
Shoot, Roscoe cracked that door.
I kicked it off the heezy and bounced.
For real, though.
What did you just say?
What, don't you hear good?
All right.
Let's see. How can I put this?
I was recently liberated from a correctional facility...
All right. I get it.
You're in the big house, and you get someone to type for you,
and you get on the lnternet, and you misrepresent yourself.
It happens, and I'm a sucker,
but now you have to go, because this is over.
Unh-unh. No, no, no.
Biscuit, you misrepresented yourself.
Boyishly light -- please.
Gray.
You said you was a criminal lawyer.
I pulled your file.
You're just some sorry-ass tax attorney.
A tax lawyer is a criminal lawyer.
Oh, yeah?
Well, good, 'cause that's why I'm here.
Well, do tell.
Well, I want to reopen my case.
And what did you do, smoke some homies on a drive-by?
Smoke? Homies?
Well, you a regular gangster, huh?
No, man. I was in for armed robbery, but I didn't do it.
Yeah, nobody did it.
I can't be having this conversation
because you're a criminal-type.
If I was a criminal, I would have shanked you
when I had that knife in my hand.
The fact that you even said that is a problem for me.
-But I didn't think that. -It's just time to go.
Please, just listen to me. Just give me one second.
No, I don't have a second.
Okay, can I just say something, please?
What?
I didn't do the crime.
You rude mother--
I ain't goin'.
It's your baby, Peter, and don't you deny it!
That DNA test told on you!
You lie, Peter!
You know lil' Kareem is yours!
Why?!
How you gonna do me like that, Peter?!
You told me I was your beautiful African Queen.
And I loved you for that, Peter!
I didn't care if your little thing was curved.
And lil' Kareem don't want your child support.
He just want a relationship with his white daddy.
A little chocolate/vanilla swirl
from that magical night at the crackhouse.
Oh!
Come on. Just be quiet!
Wait just a second. My shoes.
-Mr. Sanderson? -Whoa!
Is everything okay?
I thought I heard Negro.
No. No Negro spoken here.
Oh.
Well...good night, then.
Oh, uh...
good night.
Come on!
Come on, come on!
You stay. You stay. You wait right there.
Who you callin'?
The police.
Police department. Sergeant Panella. Please hold.
What's that?
It's all of our e-mails.
You think anybody at Tobias, Kline, and Barnes
would be interested in hearing
about you looking for Boom-boom in the federal pen?
And I'll send a photo.
Thanks for holding. Can I help you?
Now, this is just for tonight, understand?
A'ight.
I can work with this.
But, uh, look, don't be gettin' no ideas
about sneakin' up in here and hittin' this ass,
'cause you blew your chance with this fine sister.
Dare to dream.
Tsk. Please.
Oh, my God! A bed!
Oh, a nice, big, cushy bed.
Ohh, no roommates, no cellmates.
Charlene?
Charlene.
Charlene! Come on, you're not fooling anybody.
Who that? Who there?
Who want it with Lene?
I put some bagels outside.
I thought we could discuss your case.
Ahh!
What up, dog? Where 'em bagels at?
Hey, guess what, girlfriend? Your game is up.
Because I burned all those e-mails,
including the second set hidden in the lining of your coat.
And I deleted everything off my computer.
So I never met you, and you never met me.
Don't even try, girlfriend, because it's locked.
And now I am going to go get my kids,
as in innocent young persons
who will never even know you were here.
So now just go.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
And locky locky!
So ta-ta.
And watch out. The gate closes automatically.
Well, what about my stuff?
Oh, it's right there on the street.
You put my stuff on the trash?
Oh. Well, you know what?
I wish you well. I really do.
And you know what? I had a great, great time.
It was really fun.
So, oh, well.
I guess I'll just see you in my next life.
Heh heh heh heh. Bye!
Ha ha. I'll see you when you get home.
So I said to him,
"Just 'cause you whisked me to Paris on your private jet
doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep with you."
What does he think I am? A hooker?
Can Aunt Ashley edit herself, please?
You stayed in the same room with him.
What did you expect?
Hello. It was a suite -- plenty of floor space.
Sweetiepie, have a wonderful time. I love you.
Please be good to your brother and help him with his reading.
-I will. -Thank you.
Is he still having problems?
Oh, he struggles every day, but he's improving.
Dad's here.
Thank you, sweetiepie.
Don't worry, sweetie.
Daddy's stupid, too, and he became a lawyer.
Ashley!
I'm not stupid.
-That's right. -No, no, no. Of course not.
Hey, Dad's here.
Speak of the dummy.
Hey, how's my little girl doin', huh?
Hi, Dad.
Hey, how's it goin', big guy?
Ahhh, here you go.
Hi, Kate.
Hi.
Oh, Ashley, I didn't realize you were gonna be here.
What a pleasant surprise.
Peter, you're almost aging well.
Okay, I thought we'd go down to the club and take a swim.
Ooh, that sounds much more fun than Maui.
You know, Ashley, not all of us earn our living
by milking rich geriatrics out of their money.
Some of us have to work for a living.
You sound much more intelligent with your mouth shut.
Let's not start this. I don't have time.
Kids, go get your stuff.
All right, fine.
But I warned you
about marrying the first jerk-off you met out of college.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date.
Don't be good.
What morgue did you find this one at?
Stop being so childish.
Hey.
Wow. You look beautiful.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Uh, hi.
Uh, Peter, this is Glen.
Hey.
Hey, Mr. Sanderson. Nice to see you.
Yeah, nice to meet you.
Uh, what do you say we get this road on the show?
Okay.
I will meet you outside.
Okay.
Road on the show.
Just don't.
How old is he?
Younger.
-What does he do? -Golf instructor.
-How do you know that? -What?
Well, you think you know somebody,
and then one day you wake up in Thailand missing a kidney.
He could have made up this whole golf identity.
He caddied for you when he was 14.
That's little Glenny?
Does that bother you?
Not at all.
Go have fun on your statutory weekend.
This does too bother you. I know you.
Do you want to talk about it?
Well, it just looks a little silly.
Hang on.
Hello?
Some things never change.
I can't talk right now.
Well, put him on.
Hi.
You promised us you'd take us snorkeling.
Things come up. That's life.
I know. I'm really, really sorry.
But now it's over. It's new. We're gonna have a lot of fun.
Now, what's new? What's new with you?
Well, I got the female lead in the school play "Oklahoma!"
Hey, that's great. Congratulations.
And how 'bout you, big guy? How's school?
I don't like school.
Well, nobody likes school,
but there must be something you like about it.
He got into a fight the other day.
Why? Why'd you get in a fight?
Some kids called me a baby 'cause of the way I read.
Some of the greatest minds of all time had trouble learning,
Iike Edgar Allan Poe and Albert Einstein
and, uh, Ozzy Osbourne.
Ozzy rules.
Ozzy rules. Okay.
Dad, what's goin' on?
You two wait here. I'll be right back.
Hey!
Whoa, whoa. Where you think you're goin', milk?
This here's a charitable event.
You wants to get in, you gots to make a donation.
Trust me, it is off the hook in there.
Off the what? I live here.
I don't care if you're Halle Berry, man.
No donation, no entry.
How 'bout if I call the police?
Have a nice time.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, baby, show me.
Hey! What the hell is going on here?
Oh, yo, P., it's cool.
See, I hit up my homegirl
'cause I had to get my hair done, as we both know.
And then she called a friend. They holler to other friends.
Before you know it, we got us a house par-ty.
I want everyone out of here now!
People!
Loosen your panties, Grandma.
Look, you lock me out, no money, no place to go.
I mean, a girl got to get her cheese on.
Seven.
This is insane!
My boss' sister lives across the street.
I can't have all these peop--
Hey!
Give me a hard seven, baby.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
She doesn't even have her driver's permit.
Dad.
Do not go --
Roll! Uh!
Come on.
Don't inhale.
All right, now. Go on and toss them bones, lil' man.
Hey! Give me --
I'm on a roll, Dad.
Get out.
I want you and your dogs to go back to the pound now.
What?
Well, it was the dogs?
Because she said dogs, and then I said dogs,
so I assumed that would be okay.
Huh?
Whoo!
Tsk.
Ohh.
Bye, Tamika. Y'all be good, now.
Bye.
Hey, hey. Y'all got to go.
-A'ight. -That's a'ight.
Hey, baby, gonna go.
Oh, bye, Bear. Thank you so much.
Party's over. Okay. Thanks for coming.
But that's it. It's over.
If I see Widow around, I'm gonna tell him you're out.
You know he wants to know that.
I don't know about that. I'll see you.
-Okay. Bye, baby. -Bye-bye.
It's like this.
Hey.
-How you doin', neighbor? -What's up?
What are you still doing here?
-What was all that, Dad? -Dad, who's this?
This is no one.
Tsk! What's up, lil' Romeo?
My name is Charlene. What's your name?
I'm Georgey.
You cannot meet a nonexistent person.
Can Charlene come to the club?
Club? What club?
We're not going to a club, remember?
We're going to Hawaii, remember?
Okay, you know the routine. Outski!
-Out! Let's go. -Come on, man!
Sarah, get the door. Come on. Out.
Out, out, out!
-Wait! -What?
Give me my money, lil' boy.
That money should go to charity!
Ohh!
What did --
Hey, I live here.
Yeah!
What?
Okay, you guys.
You know, you order hot dogs, and you splash and frolic
and just put everything on my account and just have fun.
Didn't you bring your bathing suit?
Oh, no. I'm having tea with a client.
But I will be right back.
Whatever you say.
Want to go swimming?
With you?
Forget you.
Ow!
How's it looking?
Well, I was up all night proofing.
It's absolutely brilliant.
And you've got the cleanest background check I've ever seen.
That background check cost me a lot of fun in my life.
I don't know, honey.
Don't say anything. She could hear you.
What's crackin', ma?
I'm lookin' for the Sanderson table.
We old college buddies.
O-O-Okay. He's i-in the dining room.
I-I'll show you.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I tell you what -- I'll surprise him.
No, you're in great shape. I'm gonna take off.
All right, you're right. Nothing could go wrong.
I've done this a million times with important clients,
so I'm fine.
-Shazam. -What?
Oh, no.
Oh, swing it, you cocoa goddess.
Cocoa Goddess? That's the rude shock I was telling you about.
That's Charlene?
Did she see me?
Okay, okay, okay, police.
Uh, no. Won't get here fast enough.
Uh, security.
No, she could probably take him.
Uh, money.
She'll take money.
Hi, hi. Here, just -- Here's whatever.
And there's more where that came from if you just leave now.
No. unh-unh, boyfriend. We got business.
Boyfriend?
Oh, didn't I tell you? We're dating now.
It's some kind of street talk.
It's street for "I'm not going nowhere
until you help my problem go away."
Look, Mrs. Arness, a very important client,
is due here any minute.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon. Mr. Sanderson?
Oh, yes. He's in the dining room.
Thank you.
Charlene, how 'bout you and l
havin' a smart cocktail down by the pool?
Who is this fool?
That's a good idea. Just put it on my bill.
I don't want no smart cocktail. I need your help.
Miss.
Another martini.
Oh, hell, no. I know she ain't talkin' to me.
Ashley, she doesn't work here.
If she isn't here to work, then what is she here for?
Oh, hells no, Miss Thing. You best pump your brakes.
She's my ex-wife's sister.
I would have killed her myself years ago.
It's Mrs. Arness!
Mmm. Old lron Ass be lookin' mean.
Yes. You have to go.
You like raw oysters, Charlene?
Yeah. I guess I can hang out for a bit.
They got any hot wings around here?
All right. Whatever you want. Yes.
-You give me a place to stay? -Yes.
-And you work on my case? -Around the clock.
I'll leave when you expunge my record.
Consider it expunged.
All right. I'd like a key, please.
Mr. Sanderson?
Mrs. Arness.
Who is your associate?
This is Howie Rottman, the attorney I told you about.
A great pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Arness.
I meant her.
Oh.
Her?
Her is -- her --
She is our -- our nanny.
Dad, I'm bored.
Kids, how good to see you.
Don't we just love our nanny, Charlene?
Uh -- um...
Uh... y-yeah.
Don't you just love being our nanny, Charlene?
Yessir.
Now I'm gonna go on down to the pool with the child'n.
Maybe we make fun of the white folks again, huh, kids?
Ooh-hoo!
Oh, the kids just love her.
-What a sense of humor. -Yeah.
Peter, I'm going to hang by the pool.
If you need me, that's where I'll be.
Mrs. Arness.
Uh, right this way, Mrs. Arness.
Come, William.
You have the papers?
Oh, yes, yes, I do.
Strange clothes for a nanny.
Well, it's a fashion to kids.
-Ow! -William, mind.
Hello, Sanderson family!
Georgey, don't forget poker night!
I won't.
How could I forget poker night?
I propose a toast.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
To us.
May we always --
-Mmm. -Sorry. It's mine.
Oh, you're not gonna answer that, are you?
Well, it might be -- might be one of my kids.
Just one minute.
Sorry.
Hello?
Hey, it's me.
Oh, hi, Ashley. Everything okay?
I don't know.
I saw Peter hanging out at the club today.
He was mingling with a large black woman.
What? What are you talking about?
He said it was his nanny.
She didn't look like any nanny I'd ever seen.
She was all... tattooed and welfarish.
lt was...
Oh, is that funny to you? Is that funny?
Am I funny to you?
No, no. That's not funny.
Were you laughing at me?
Oh, I wasn't --
Stop. Get away.
No, I wasn't laughing at you.
Just...hang on.
Um, you know, look, I know Peter. I know him.
He's not gonna spend all his time taking care of the kids.
He went and hired somebody!
Seriously, Kate! This woman was no nanny.
You need to do something.
I saw this woman. I was there.
Shouldn't you at least be looking at references?
Thank you. Thank you.
Listen, Peter is nothing if not responsible.
It's not like he's gonna hire a convicted felon.
Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that.
Ohh!
Let's see -- we got resisting arrest, assaulting an officer,
repeated attempts at eye-gouging,
and...scrotum crushing.
Well, I was a little riled up, being framed and all.
And your clothes and l.D. were found at the scene.
All plants. I never robbed nobody!
Okay.
I know my rights. I get an appeal.
I get an appeal!
You only get an appeal if you were convicted and incarcerated.
You were released.
Look, why don't you just start over?
Go back to school and get at least a passing familiarity
with the English language.
It's no end to what you can accomplish
with a little commitment.
My daughter Sarah is fully committed,
and she's going places.
Oh, she's goin' places, all right.
So, it's a charitable remainder trust.
That way, the old tightwad gets a huge deduction every year.
Uh, no more calls, Sofia.
It's not a call. There's someone here --
Girl, get out!
I do not know who you are --
Send her in.
Bet you know me now, huh?
This couldn't wait until tonight?
Well, well, well!
Come in, have a seat, spend some time.
Thanks, homeboy, and, no, it can't wait.
You gotta check this out.
-What is it? -I found the deposition.
The prosecution interviewed an eyewitness,
and she told them that the perpetrator
didn't have a tattoo on the chest.
They never told my lawyer about this shit.
That's withholding exculp--
Exculpatory evidence. People vs. Stanley, I know.
How do you know that?
Why wouldn't she know that? She's got it goin' on.
Damn, Pete, all I did in there was read law books.
And with comprehension.
Made you think I was a lawyer.
I mean, you obviously have pockets of intelligence.
So, why do you walk and talk and act the way you do?
Because it's sexy.
It ain't actin'!
This is who I am.
I mean, you think I can't talk like you?
Oh, Peter,
I absolutely love what you've done with the place!
It's so sterile, so -- so bland, so wonderful!
See? You can do it.
Oh, you like that, huh?
Well, you can kiss my natural black ass,
because I don't need your approval.
No, she don't need your approval.
Hey, you don't think I compromise the way I act?
You think I like walking around like an uptight...honky?
Yes. I know your lingo.
Peter, Mr. Tobias is coming to see you.
Oh, God.
Well, this should be interesting.
Uh-oh. What we gotta do, play "hide the sister"?
Or do I gotta do that slave thing again?
Just -- just act natural.
-Let's get her out of here. -Why don't we get her out?
Um, um, um, um, um...
Peter...Howie.
Ed.
Who is this?
-Uh, this is the... -Well, we were just having...
Well, Mr. Sanderson, I can see you are very busy.
That's why I really appreciate you
offering your services free of charge.
Oh, I -- well, I just -- gosh.
Peter...
She is --
Well, see, Mr. Sanderson here,
being the heavenly man that he is --
God bless you!
Oh, you got that anointing on you --
...has offered to do the taxes for the Compton Evangelistic
Episcopal Baptist church of South Central.
You know, just anything to help
Reverend Shack...tillfont.
Just call him Shack.
Shack.
Well, I'll let you guys go.
I'll see you at choir rehearsal on Thursday.
7:00, now!
I'll escort Mrs. Shacktill...font
to the elevator.
Gentlemen.
Uh, Peter, we're really in a crunch.
I just got word that another firm's in the running
for the R&S account.
We need to close this deal.
Look...
I have no problem being Peter's wingman on this one.
Oh, well, thanks anyway, but l really have it under control,
so, you don't have to worry about a thing, Ed.
Good. Then I'll expect you to wrap it up in a day or two.
That's the plan, certainly.
Ah.
Well.
Could you --
-Sure. -Thank you.
Thank you.
She can't tee up her own ball?
I've been playing this game for many years...
That's what it feels like.
...and it's all about patience.
Well, you beat me by 19.
Uh, let's make it 20.
All right.
Mrs. Arness, I was wondering
if you'd like to come over to my house on Thursday
and possibly look over the contract.
I'll have to check with my secretary, Julia.
Mrs. Arness, would you excuse me for a minute?
I just have to check on my children.
Oh, of course. You do that.
I'd like to dip you in Cheez Whiz
and spread you over a Ritz Cracker,
if I'm not being too subtle.
Boy, you are some kind of freaky.
Oh, you have no idea.
You got me straight trippin', boo.
Hey, hey, hey! Hey, what are you doing here?
What does it look like? I'm on a date.
On a date.
She's on a date? She's a felon.
-I am not a felon. -Hey, what is she doing here?
Get used to it, Twiggy.
You're gonna be seeing a lot more of me around here.
Not without a broom in your hand.
If I have, it's 'cause I'm here to sweep up the white trash.
Save it for the YMCA, Jemima.
Bitch! I'm gonna kick the bulimia out of your ass!
Have you ever had a tempered moment?
Why don't you go back to the vodka bottle you crawled out of?
Mrs. Arness is here.
I am sheltering you. I'm helping you.
Remember, I helped you --
All right! I'll let it ride.
Thank you for letting it ride. That is wise and mature.
Now, just get her walking that way.
Let me show you the place, Charlene.
Looking good, Lois!
Hey, freak boy...
I'm gonna make myself a little more luscious for you, okay?
I'll be right back.
Okay, precious.
What are you doin' in here?
I told you you was gonna be seein' more of me, right?
Look, I came here to warn you.
You keep disrespecting me,
and it's gonna get rough around here.
Back off, Shaniqua.
You don't scare me.
You know what? That's it.
You must need a little more eye shadow, right? Come on!
Uhh!
You've messed with the wrong W.A.S.P., bitch.
Aah!
Uhh!
Compliments of Tae-Bo,
two hours a day, five days a week.
Grr! Uhh!
Ohh!
Hmm?
Ah!
Uhh!
Aaah! Uhh!
Compliments of the 'hood, 24 hours a day, all my life.
You know, for a skinny white ho, you're pretty tough.
Aaaah!
Yaaaah!
And I don't ever want to have this conversation again!
"The girl had dou--"
"...ble..."
"...double D-cups."
There you go. You got it, lil' man.
"l put my mouth on her nip--"
"...ples."
What is that?
What are you doing letting him read th--
He read. You read.
Georgey, you read.
I'm gonna kill you!
I am so proud of you.
I'm turning you in!
Pfft. I found it in your drawer.
Well, I am a grown man of 54 -- 41 -- 49 years old,
and he's 8, and what I read in the privacy of my --
How'd you do it?
Oh, God, I'm never gonna get this done.
Look, the boy don't look carefully
at the details in a word,
so most of the time, he's just guessin'.
What you got to do is just slow it down
and give him somethin' stimulatin' to read.
Dad?
What's a rack?
It's a country.
Well...
I was just doin' it 'cause he was botherin' me.
Well, either way...
Can you get rid of this?
Just put it back in my room,
'cause I'll get rid of it, 'cause I have a special...
Well, Mrs. Kline, how wonderful to see you.
Come in!
It's girls poker night at the house.
Where's my little dealer?
Well, just wait right here, and I will just go get him.
Georgey, Mrs. Kline is here!
Hi, Mrs. Kline.
Come on, Georgey!
Tonight, I'm gonna teach you to bluff.
And I think we need to comb your hair differently.
You look like a fag.
-I'm not a fag! -I didn't say you were.
-Hello. -Hi. How are you?
Oh, good evening, sir.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Dad, I don't want you to freak out, okay?
Why would I freak out?
Well...
Dad, this is Aaron.
Hi.
-Hello. -How do you do, sir?
I-l-I'm so glad to actually meet you.
I-l-I told Sarah that it was very important
that you feel comfortable with me
taking her to my parents' for dinner.
So, this is a date?
Oh, um, I'll have her home by 1 1 :00 at the latest, sir?
I guess that'd be all right.
All right. Did it work?
Yeah, like a charm, my friend.
All right. Let's party.
Hey, watch the seats.
-All right... -Oh, shut up.
No, I'm serious. It's leather.
Hmm.
Well, look at you, all growed up.
There's nothing to eat in the house.
Yeah. You comin' to a point?
Well, I'm hungry. Are you?
You askin' me out?
Well, no, I'm not.
Yes, I am.
Okay.
Oh, look at the legs on this wine.
I'm telling you, this place is bangin'.
Don't you just mean, "This is nice"?
Why the word "bangin"' make you so uptight?
You're smart -- if you'd just deign to speak English
with what you learned on the lnternet and in prison,
you could be a paralegal tomorrow.
Like they gonna be beatin' down my door to let me in school.
You're exactly the kind of person they want.
Well, why would I want to do that, anyway?
I've been to your office.
Everybody's all uptight, overworked,
tired, stressed-out, don't see their family.
"Ooh, Ed is comin'." "Ooh, Tobias."
I get a wedgie just walking in your office.
Hey, it's what people do. They work.
Look, all I'm sayin' is I did the confinement thing
for four years.
If you're so concerned with my future,
just help me clear my name.
I got it from there.
I got my own dreams, my own goals.
Hey, give it to me.
Hey! What'd you do that for?!
-'Cause you work too much. -This is my phone!
That's probably why your wife left your sorry ass.
Okay, Oprah, if you're so good at relationships,
how come you don't have a boyfriend?
I had one.
It's just I haven't seen or heard from him
since I went in four years ago.
Were you in love with him?
Come on, let's go dance.
Ha ha ha ha -- no.
Come on. When is the last time you danced?
At my wedding.
Don't worry, I can dance. It's just that I don't wanna.
Come on, smooth. Show me what you're workin' with.
I can dance. I just don't want to dance.
Man, you can't dance.
-Well, I got moves. -Let me see.
All right, all right.
Okay, one last little drink here.
What, you got to pee?
This was big in high school.
Man, look, you can't dance from your brain.
You gotta feel it. Now, come on.
Show me how you made them kids.
-What the hell... -How's this?
That's great for an epileptic. Come on, now.
You gotta move your pelvis with it.
More hips. There you go.
Get smooth with it.
Well, I'm sorry. I can't help it. I miss him.
Oh, snap out of it, already.
I'm snapped. I'm snappy.
Oh, God, Ash.
I still can't believe you were hit by a car.
Did you call a lawyer?
Oh, I can't talk to a lawyer. I was jaywalking.
So, can we just stop --
-What? -Oh, my God.
What?
Look at that!
Oh, my God, it's true. Look at that! Look at that!
He never danced like that with me.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
No! Sit!
Why?
I can't tell you.
If I talk about it,
gangster people will come to my house and cut me.
Oh.
Oh, he almost looks like a fun person.
Must've been me.
Was it me?
No. Stop beating yourself up. It's him.
Can we just get out of here? Now?
You know what they say --
once you go black, you never go back.
Can we get the check, please?
And that's why I worked so hard,
so I could give Kate a good life, then it backfired!
Man, bitches don't care nothin' about that shit.
Oh, bitches do too care.
I'm gonna tell you a secret --
sometimes I drive by our old house, and I just look at it,
and I just remember our life, and it just hurts!
Man, that is so pathetic, P. Diddy.
But you know what? I'm gonna help you get her back.
How?
Well, first, we gotta create a mood.
Just like at the restaurant, baby.
I'm already there.
Yeah. Now, feel the Barry.
Feel Barry White. Talk like Barry.
-Okay, that's Barry. -Yeah.
This is Kate.
Hey, Kate. Yeah.
I want you to talk nasty to her!
Talk nasty!
I'd like to kiss you a lot.
Cut that sensitive shit, Nancy Boy!
What?
-You gotta be a beast! -A beast!
Yeah!
In the bedroom, a woman wants a man
that knows how to ride her when she bucks.
Ride 'em when she bucks! Ride 'em!
It's just -- I can't. It's a sculpture. I just can't.
All right, okay.
Use me, then.
Huh?
Damn it, grab these.
-What?! -Grab 'em!
Ohh!
Oh, I get it, yeah.
-Hey, Kate. -Uh-huh.
Yeah, you've been waitin' for this for a while, huh?
That's right. Now, what you gonna do to her?
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do!
I'm gonna give you an aromatherapy massage
with incense!
No! Come on, now!
Wimps give aromatherapy massages!
Tell her again!
All right!
I'm gonna have...
sexual intercourse, baby!
No, you -- you a beast! You need some of these.
-Yeah. -Cojones grande!
Yeah! I'm gonna put 'em in my pants!
-Get in there, boys! -Now, grab 'em!
-Grab 'em. Yeah, hey, baby! -Grab 'em!
Now, what you gonna do? What you gonna do?!
Yeah, Mama! You gonna be my tawdry little woman?
Damn right! Now get to humpin'!
-Ya-hoo! -Whoa!
-How 'bout that, huh?! -Yeah!
How would you like me to pounce on you
-like a lion from above? -I like it! I like it!
-Yo! -That's what I'm talkin'!
You ain't just no king of the jungle,
you own that jungle!
That's your pride!
You own that jungle, and ain't no one
gonna come around and mess with your pride!
That's right! I like that.
Yeah! You ain't ready for that shit! Come on, now!
Be a beast! What you gonna do when she starts ridin', huh?
Take care of her! That's what I'm gonna do!
-Uh-huh! Uh-huh! -You're mine, Kate!
-Ride that lighting rod! -You don't need these no more.
You got your own! You found your balls!
Yeah, I don't need those balls! I got my own balls!
Mandingo!
What goes on in your personal life is none of our business,
but if it begins to affect the firm,
we need to call attention to it.
Guys, we were moving a statue,
and we lost our footing, and we fell.
My sister's under the impression
that you were humping your nanny.
I was not humping my nanny!
Peter, surely you understand that if Mrs. Arness
were to suspect any instability on your part...
There is no instability in my home.
You sure you can trust this guy?
Well, hey, he's helping me reopen my case.
Y'all got any leads?
Well, a still from the bank surveillance camera
is on its way here,
and we found a deposition that could help.
Well, that's cool, baby.
If there's anything I can do to help,
anything... you just holler.
I gotta run.
Hey, Widow, if you meant what you just said,
it's not gonna be an easy job.
I know it ain't.
I just gotta know that if things get rough,
you're not gonna run out on me.
I've been waitin' four years for this.
I ain't gonna mess up.
Mmm.
Ooh!
Planning another heist?
No. Why would you say that?
I don't know.
Maybe it was hearing the words "job" and "hot"
bandied between two tattooed people?
That was just my old boyfriend I told you about -- Widow.
He's just tryin' to get back with me.
Mm-hmm.
I'm tellin' you the truth!
Look, I just didn't want you to see him,
because Widow, he ain't been the best boyfriend,
and I knew he'd be all over me.
Now you suddenly care what I think?
No.
Maybe.
A little bit.
No more late visits?
Word.
Convicted felon's honor?
Innocent convicted felon's honor.
Now, give me some dap, right there on the edge.
Right there, and then come up here like that.
Pow, like that.
Hello?
Dad!
Hey, sweetie.
Is Charlene there?
Yeah, she's here. Do you want to talk to her?
-You okay? -Yeah, I'm...
All right.
-Sarah? Okay. -Girl talk.
What up, dog?
I need you to come pick me up. I can't talk about it right now.
Where you at?
I'm on the corner of Venice and Canal,
and there's a whole lot of people out front.
-Please don't tell my dad! -All right.
No, just calm down. I'm comin' to get you.
I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to call.
It's cool. What's goin' on?
Hey, Sarah, what have you been up to? Hee hee!
Is that your boyfriend?
No, he's not my boyfriend.
I liked his friend, Mike,
and we hung out a few times, and he was always really nice,
but then...all he wanted to do tonight was have sex,
I mean, he moved in kind of rough, and --
He got rough with you? Where he at?
He went back there with that group.
Go wait downstairs.
Yo, Mike!
Please, don't kill me!
Oh, God!
What are you? Crazy?!
Pull me up! What do you want?!
Sarah!
Mike has somethin' to say to you.
Say "sorry"!
I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry! God, I am sorry!
Say "No means no."
No means no!
She was where?!
Calm down. It's just --
-She is 14! -She's 15! Wait!
G-- well -- oh!
Look...
Sarah don't need a warden.
She needs her father -- you --
so you can't get mad, all right?
You do it, she'll never tell you anything again.
All right. I get it. I get it.
Just be cool. Just play it cool, you know what I mean?
Just listen to her. Let her do the talkin'.
I am listening to you!
Thank you.
Don't trip.
So...
you went out with a boy...
and he took you to a party,
where kids were...drinking
and "trippin' on E."...
and then he took you up to a room
where he tried to...
"get all up in that..."
which he...didn't?
And then Charlene came --
in my new car -- and brought you home
after first... "bitchslapping" him.
Well...
...that was some night.
Oh, Dad!
I can't believe you're not killing me!
Oh! This is so great! I want everything out in the open!
Oh, I have so much more to tell you!
Aaaaaaaaah!
Kate, what are you doing here?
W-What are you doing here?
It's my shortcut home from work.
No, it's not.
-Yes, it is. -ls not.
I thought you were in the mountains.
Well, yeah, l-I came back early.
There were bears that were mauling the campers
and eating them.
Wow.
But other than that... nothing went wrong with your --
Oh, no, no. He's great.
Yeah, I liked him.
So, how's your...
My what?
Your life?
Anything hip and new?
No.
Um...
I'm having a good time with the kids.
Good. Glad you're having fun with her.
Them.
What?
You look, um...
Yeah.
Rested.
Nice. You look nice.
So, um, I guess I'll come by later and pick up the kids.
Oh, I was wondering if I could keep them through Friday.
Really? You're not too busy?
No.
Well, yes, it's okay.
It's wonderful, Peter.
You know, if you wanted to come ov--
Go ahead.
Sorry.
Hello?
Yo, get your butt home, dog.
I will be home in my own sweet time, girlfriend.
You gotta come now. Arness said she on her way over here.
Oh, I forgot all about that.
Oh, I'm sorry. I-l-I have to go.
I just forgot about something,
but I want to continue this conversation,
so I will call you, or you can call me on my cell.
Bye!
Uh-huh.
Whoa! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
-ls she here yet? -No!
The place is a mess!
We gotta clean this place up!
Hey, get upstairs and get ready!
And what are you reading?!
Get up there! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Hey, yo, P., while we got this minute --
there's somethin' I really been meanin' to tell you --
Well, you'll have to wait.
Kids! She's here!
Mrs. Arness?
Oh!
I'll get right to the point, Mr. Sanderson.
There are rumors circulating
that your personal life and your home are in disarray,
and this makes me feel very unsettled.
I don't know who misinformed you, but please, come in.
I'd hate to think you're under any misapprehension
about me or my family.
Sarah? Georgey?
You remember Mrs. Arness?
So lovely to see you again.
Um, Father, when you have a moment,
would you mind helping me with my report on Queen Victoria?
Sure, kitten.
And don't forget, Pop, tomorrow you have to come to school
and help hand out the food to the poor kids.
Have I ever forgotten to help the poor kids?
No, Pop. Never.
In truth, Mr. Sanderson, you have a lovely home.
Thank you.
And your children are very well-behaved.
They're angels.
Oh, William.
Oh, look!
He's even taken a fancy to your boy.
That's so sweet.
Anyway, we can go to the den and get the contracts --
What is that heavenly smell?
Ah, that would be Charlene preparing dinner.
Anyway, the contracts --
I haven't smelled home cooking like that since I was a child.
Really? Anyway --
Brings back such happy memories.
Does it? Anyway, actually, the den is closer --
Your table looks so inviting.
Yes. It's too bad it's so small.
Small?
Well, actually, it's big, isn't it?
It's a big table, so...
there would be room for one more.
Oh, well, if it's not an imposition...
Oh...oh.
Well, let me just go check if there's enough food.
I'm not -- I'm not sure,
because, uh, actually, this is the night of, uh,
Yiminum, the, uh -- the holiday where
white people eat very little portions
because that was the night the Lord came down,
and he was given food,
and there was just too much, and he said, "No."
And so, he had a smaller portion,
and that's why we might not have enough.
So, I'll just go check on, uh, what the Lord would say.
Just one second.
Come here, William.
Hey, come here. Are you hungry?
Charlene...
If there was ever a time I needed a favor, it's now.
You got it, baby. Anything.
Oh, thank you!
Oh. Mrs. Arness?
Yes? Oh, yes.
My family and I are pleased to invite you for dinner.
Yeah, oh.
Well, very well. I wasn't expecting this.
Uh, but if you insist.
And then afterwards, we can sign the contracts.
Of course.
Dinner is served.
I was raised in the South, you know.
That smells just like our lvy's jambalaya.
She was so wonderful.
We paid her nothing, of course, you know.
But, then, people had standards of service in those days.
And, of course, lvy did know
that you serve from the left and collect from the right.
Don't...
stop at that story, because I love hearing about your past.
That is fascinating.
Oh, yes.
Well, anyway, as I was saying...
Yeah.
Yeah. Fast-actin'.
Fast-actin'.
Ooh, I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna get you.
Uh-huh. I'll serve your food right.
Was it the left? Was it the right?
Father's work with the Pasadena Republican Youth Group
has truly been invaluable.
I hope y'all brought y'all appetites.
Oh, yes.
I brought mine.
Oh, my goodness.
This is much too much for me.
I'll never get through all that.
I have a little less here. I'll trade with you.
Oh.
Thank you.
What, Charlene?
Nothing, sir.
Oh.
Oh, this food is so delicious.
Serves him right, anyway,
makin' me wear this stinkin' outfit.
You're very lucky to have found such talented help.
Well, our lvy was with us for so long,
we really thought of her as one of the family.
Mmm.
And after every meal,
my mother would scrape all the food we hadn't eaten
and put it on one big plate and give it to lvy.
Charlene...
what is that particular taste?
It's familiar, yet --
Is it some kind of herb like sage?
No, it's sort of more like a milk of mint.
Milk of -- whatever it is, the taste is explosive.
Mmm.
Well, good, then.
Enjoy.
Oh, just one moment.
Uh, you know, uh,
there's a lovely, sad Negro spiritual...
...that lvy's brother used --
Are you all right?
Anyway, lvy's brother used to sing this
when he came in from the tobacco fields.
Now, there's a second verse
if you'd like to join in the chorus.
Huh.
That's an unusual feeling.
Dad?
Are you okay?
Uh!
Hmm.
Ha ha!
Ah ha ha ha!
Mmm. Ha! Ha ha ha ha!
Whoa!
I hope your father's all right.
Does this happen often?
Well, if you'll excuse us.
Um...
Georgey, let's go watch that biography on Francis Drake.
We-- I mean,
he seemed to be so moved by that song.
Oh, he movin', all right.
-And tonight's top story... -William?
The FBl needs your help
in finding fugitive at large Charlene Morton.
Charlene is an African-American female, 31 years of age...
What is it?
...and 5'6", 175 pounds,
with a tattoo on her left breast.
Convicted of armed robbery,
Charlene is considered cunning and highly dangerous.
Having escaped from the Women's Correctional Facility
outside Los Angeles a mere six days ago,
Morton is suspected to be armed.
This bank surveillance tape shows Charlene wielding a gun
and holding a customer hostage.
Charlene is considered dangerous and may be armed.
If you have any information concerning Charlene Morton,
please contact your local FBl office.
That's it for tonight's edition of "Criminals at Large."
Good night and be safe.
Mrs. Arness, I can explain everything.
Pete, before you lose it, just let me explain.
There's nothing to say.
But I didn't do it, Pete.
You have to get out.
All right. I'll get my stuff.
I don't understand. You saw her and where is she?
I don't know where she is.
Don't drop the soap.
What the hell does that mean?
I just don't believe this. I'm worried about her.
I hate the fact that she's out there all alone.
You're worried about the poor, innocent, frail creature
who can hardly take care of herself on the street?
What about me? Tobias is gonna fire me!
And another goody --
if Arness calls the cops, I could go to jail!
Here's the local number for the Bureau.
The FBl takes harboring a fugitive very seriously.
You, gentlemen, will be the first to hear from me.
Arness didn't call the cops, she called the FBl.
-Now, you haven't seen me. -I have seen you.
No, I mean, you haven't seen me.
I'm looking right at you. What are you --
If you do hear from her,
please tell her the cool points are out the window and...
she's got me all twisted up in the game.
Why you messin' with Lene?
I'm not messing with her, I'm helping her.
Bullshit!
Ugh!
Uh! I'm telling you the truth!
Listen up. You do not reopen this case.
From now on, I'm handlin' it for her.
I'm not gonna reopen the case. The case is closed.
Stay out of her life.
If I got to come back here, things are gonna get bloody.
Ugh!
Maybe I should just finish this now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
We have to find Charlene.
I thought you hated Charlene.
I found out she's innocent.
I knew it. I knew it.
Where am I gonna find her?
Well, you can call her.
How can I call her if I don't know where she is?
I gave her your phone, in case you might...
You gave her my new $600 titanium cellphone?
Good idea. Come on.
W-What happened to your head?
Metropolitan Museum of Art. How may I help you?
I know who set you up.
What?! Who?
Get in.
So, what's up?
The guy points a gun to my head
and tells me not to reopen the case.
I'm thinking, "Why is he doing this?"
And then it dawns on me -- it's because he was involved.
God damn him.
I can't believe Widow did this to me.
Where do you think he is?
I don't know.
Probably downtown at this club he hang out at
called the Down Low.
Got to get a confession.
You can't go there.
Eh, man, I'm serious.
A white man at the Down Low
is either a cop, a corpse, or a crackhead.
You can't even talk 'hood.
I'll figure out something.
Oh, and Howie told me to tell you
that "The cool points are out the window,
and you got him all twisted up in the game."
Really?
That's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.
I'm gonna drop you off here
because I got to get to the office for a conference call.
So, I'll see you in a little bit.
All right. Okay, cool.
Yeah, freak boy, I need a ride.
Can you come now?
Damn. A straight, cold pimp.
Looks like Gendler beat us to her.
I can assure you, Mrs. Arness,
Peter Sanderson is no longer affiliated
with Tobias, Kline, and Barnes.
Good.
You have great ankles.
What?!
Were you a dancer?
Yeah -- well, yes. I was.
I bet you had great presence.
Oh. How you two doin'?
I hope I'm not interruptin' anything.
You're nasty.
W-What are you doing here?
Please, Mrs. Arness, I'm not here to cause any trouble.
Well, that would be a first.
Julia? Julia?
Julia a little tied up right now.
I just need you to hear me out.
Peter is not responsible for any of this. I am.
I mean, the guy is a great lawyer.
And he's one of the most decent men I've ever known.
-I doubt that's saying much. -Shut up, fool.
If only you knew the lengths he's willing to go to
to help a friend.
Listen...sister...
"Sister"?
Why don't you go back to Sanderson,
and the "Jungle Fever" thing the two of you got goin' on,
before I call the cops?
That's it, pretty boy.
You ever met the big hurt?
The who?
Oh!
I wouldn't do that if I were you!
And why not?
You'll be instantly returned to prison, where you belong.
All right. That's it.
How dare you!
To hell with what I just said.
You obviously one of them hard learners.
Howie?
This is my house! I will not be told to do what I --
William.
I'm Kate Sanderson. Have you seen my kids?
-Over there. -Oh!
Hey!
Oh, God!
What is going on?
It's just the FBl, Mom.
Yeah, they're just doing a, like, search.
For what?
Well, for Charlene. But she's not --
The FBl is looking for your nanny?
Man, take your hands off me!
I said, back off me, punk!
That's what I mean. You know what I'm sayin'?
You don't want none of this, now.
Excuse me...
Homeboys...
Say, yo. You got a bathroom in there?
Say, yo, what's the dealio?
Mmm. Who's your daddy?
Back that booty up and put it on the glass.
Anybody here dig what I'm sayin'?
So...
your nanny was doing time...
for armed robbery.
And then she broke out of prison...
...and then she came here.
But she's innocent...
and now your dad has gone off to...
help her.
Sounds crazy, right?
He's not the same guy anymore.
Yeah, he's really cool.
Say, any of you homies holdin' extra Jimmy High?
'Cause I'm all about crunchin' some of that boofanny tonight.
If you harm one hair on that dog's head --
Yeah, "Harm a hair on the head." You got me all nervous.
Hello?
-Sarah? -Oh, hey, Charlene.
Put your daddy on the phone.
No, he's not here. He went out to find you.
He went to find me?!
Tsk. All right.
Howie, flip a "U." We headed downtown.
Downtown's where I live, precious.
No! No!
Whoa!
What's on your mind, player?
What's with you? You been drinkin' some "Hatorade"?
What's up, Flavor? Where you from?
From the 'hood and misunderstood.
-How's your pimp hand, dog? -Strong, baby, strong.
Can you swerve, snowman?
Do I got "honky" spray-painted on my forehead?
Of course I can. I'm tryin' to peep a bowwow.
If you so at home, man, then dance with the woman.
I can't. I got b'ness.
Go on out there and get your groove on.
No, I can't. I got important b'ness to take care of.
Yeah.
I tell you, but --
You'll get a life sentence for this.
You're a kidnapper and a whore!
Hey. Keep talkin', tea bag.
Ooh?! Tea bag!
Yeah, you'll be gummin' your bubbles.
Yeah, oh! Terrible.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Damn, boy, you lookin' all kind of stupid.
Really?
'Cause I got this outfit from your mama.
Yo, Eminem, cut the wigger shit.
I don't think you know how much trouble you in.
Fine, fine, fine.
I'm here to talk business --
private business.
What fresh air is this?
I don't see him anywhere.
I think he's in that back room over there.
What do we do with Her Majesty?
Sit down.
What?
Sit it on down.
Now, look, if you move,
your little Willy gonna be bridged down.
-You dig? -Dig.
All right. Come on.
Is that real?
Oh.
Uh, Seven and Seven, double.
How you doin'?
What?!
I said, "How you doin'?"
Oh, fantastic.
You either the dumbest cracker I ever met or you straight up --
Hold that thought. I love this song.
Turn that off.
Get everybody up out of here.
I'm telling you, he is definitely in there.
Okay, all right, so he's in there,
and then you go in, and then what happens?
Three seconds.
Why you here?
I got a feeling you're sitting on a hefty sum of stolen cash.
You want to hide it, you need a lawyer.
What's with the phone?
I'm calling in the cavalry.
You'll go back to prison.
So you wanna help me launder my money?
I can hide it in an untraceable account
in the Cayman lslands.
All I want is $100,000.
We both walk out of here wealthier men.
And I tell you where Charlene is -- that simple.
You wearin' a wire?
Me?
No. Are you?
Then -- then they kidnapped me.
And they took my dog, William.
That's a damn shame.
Oh, you don't care.
You smokin', Grandma?
Why not?
To hell with your proposition.
Hold it. Charlene is ready to roll over on you.
She knows who your accomplice was.
-Oh, that's pretty funny. -I'm not kidding.
They're out in the parking lot waiting for my signal and --
and -- and -- and the signal is...
if I don't come back, they call the FBl.
There was no accomplice, fool.
There was a girl in the photo.
No, there was somebody in a wig and a dress.
You...
You left her clothes, the gun, and the money.
See?
You just too damn smart for your own good.
Look, we can't wait no more.
Wait, wait. Charlene!
Open up. Widow wanna see me.
Says who?
Says Lene.
Pete.
Well, ain't this a psychic moment?
I was just comin' to see you.
Come on, Widow. This is between me and you.
Let him go.
No problem.
Ugh!
Oh, shit.
What -- come on, now. What are you doin'?
Ugh!
I got it.
-Aim it, aim it, Howie! -Yeah!
Uh-huh! Who got the gun now, huh?
Who got that gun now? Homie, that's right.
Get y'all asses on the ground!
Asses on the ground where I can see 'em, huh?
Take him out!
Ugh!
Pussies.
Ooh!
-Ugh! -Ooh.
Ugh!
Wasn't that fun?
I'm just gonna roll up on out of here.
Thank you.
-Aah! -FBl!
Everybody, freeze!
Charlene! Charlene! Oh, baby!
Oh, oh, baby.
Charlene.
Son of a --
Drop it!
Oh, Charlene.
Ow.
What?
Damn, dog.
Hey, Howie, she's all right.
Charlene...
I --
Do me a favor, precious.
Don't ever scare me like that again,
or I'm gonna have to give you a nasty spanking,
if I'm not being too subtle.
He's such a damn freak.
Are you Sanderson?
Yeah.
Wait, wait. She's innocent.
Save it.
I can prove it.
Mr. Sanderson... that was pretty ballsy.
You'd make a hell of an agent.
Oh, thank you very much, but I don't think I did anything
-an ordinary man wouldn't do... -Thanks again.
Mr. Sanderson...
There you are.
You have behaved abonidably.
Aboni--
Abomidably.
-Abodi-- -Abominably.
I know.
-Shakespeare. -Shakespeare.
No, wait. This is serious.
And I'll have you dis--
disboweled.
Oh!
Uh, disballed.
Dis--
Disbarred?
Disbarred.
Oh, to hell with it.
I do believe I'm stoned.
Just don't tell anybody you ever saw me like this.
Mrs. Arness...
William.
Oh, God, you are an ugly dog...
and heavy.
Here, I got him.
Thank you.
Is there a 24-hour diner around here?
I know where one is. I'll take you there.
I'm dreadfully hungry.
You guys okay?
What do you think?
Yo, be cool, G-mo.
Yo, out back, G-mo.
Full cheesy, homey.
Well, that's not good enough.
You'll just have to keep trying, won't you?
I called Arness four times. She'll only talk to Peter.
Well, we're just gonna have to keep him around.
Oh, hey, guys.
Peter.
Did I mention I'm going out on my own?
You don't have the resources.
Well, I have one multibillion-dollar client.
It's a start.
And a partner.
I'm all over it, G.
Let's go.
Excuse me.
Peter, we can talk about this.
Ed, you can kiss my natural black ass.
Peter...
Ashley, who are you doing here?
Oh, I was, uh, meeting, uh, uh...
-for my aunt's estate. -About her aunt's estate.
There was a codicil.
Well, say goodbye to half your stuff.
I'll call you.
Lookin' good, kids. Almost there.
Peter, your 4:00 is waiting for you in your office.
I don't have any meetings today.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize I had an appointment.
Hey.
So, this is how a big-time tax attorney lives, huh?
This place is big pimpin', P. Diddy.
-How you doin'? -I'm a'ight.
I really wanted to tell you again
how much I appreciate what you did for me.
If I could only give you back half of what you've given me.
Please. We'll call it even. Now give me a hug.
Hey, white people don't hug.
You ain't white.
Well, I'm off-white.
Good to see you.
Kate...
Hi.
Um, oh, well, I'm, uh --
I got to finish up some things with Howie.
Oh, Kate, this is Charlene. Charlene, this is Kate.
Hi. You've certainly been shaking things up around here.
Well, shakin' is what I do best.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Kate.
Thank you.
And take care of him for me.
Hi.
So...
what -- what brings you down?
I mean, you know, not what brings you down,
but, I mean, what brings you down here?
Well, I was just wondering, um...
how often do you take that shortcut past my house?
Technically?
Uh, well...
uh, pretty much every day.
Well, you know, technically...
That's stalking.
It's kind of cute.
Kate...
There's something I want to say to you.
The cool points are out the window,
and I'm all twisted up in the game.
What does that mean?
It means I love you.
-Ohh! -Ohh!
Rastaman, hold still, or you're gonna have
these Jamaican beads all over the floor.
Yeah, here we go.
All right, halfway done.
What you think?
Holler at your boy.
-Hey. -Nothin' is nothin'.
Who's your daddy now?
Boy, you are some kind of freaky.
Queen, bring this one for me.
史提夫马丁
黄后拉蒂法
片名：我的野蛮网友
你在吗?
我在
帮我,我的客户要蹲大牢了
不,她不会的
我想我已经搞清楚了
真的?
去查一下哈森对康拉德案
相似的间接证据...
官司却打赢了
法鹰,谢谢你
你是这个聊天室里
最最聪明的人
谢谢你,律师姑娘
我知道我们在这里都是匿名的
但是,你会不会碰巧有个名字呢?
我叫夏琳
昨天我想你了
你过得怎么样?
平平常常
早上出去运动了一个小时
下午在院子里散了一会步
晚上去拜访住在附近的一个女友
听起来很单纯啊
不要被我的单调的一天蒙蔽了哦
我也有非常阴暗的一面
我今年31岁5个月零6天
留着披肩长发,身材健美
彼德,你长什么样?
我...比你年纪大一点...6个月零2天
我的发色...很浅
是那种很稚气的浅色
也祝你晚安,律师姑娘
钱德勒
早,山德森先生 嗨
早,彼德
你好
先生们
好,彼德来了,我们可以开始了
好的 根据新闻媒体报导
我们听到消息
那个大咖啡公司的继承人 维吉妮雅亚妮丝夫人
已经解雇了她现在的税务律师团
维吉妮雅亚妮丝
74岁,生于乔治亚州雅典市并在那里长大
她十三岁的时候
被送往英国读寄宿学校
并且住在那里直到最近
也就是两天前
精彩
我们都听说了
亚妮丝夫人非常之节俭
她的行为给"保守"一词带来了新的含义
这件是不会那么简单
她既偏执又多疑,彼德...
我去最合适
我是单身,我晚上、周末都可以去找她
你不是这个周日要结婚的吗,陶德?
婚期可以推迟的
还有,彼德,我不想让这件事影响到
你和家人一起去夏威夷渡假
你尽管放心去
一切包在我身上
谢谢
你能这样想我非常感谢,陶德
我是说,你的年轻当然会让你成为...
...公司的宝贵财产
尤其是每年的垒球比赛
但是对付一个极端保守的 74岁的老太太恐怕差点
我们要做的是不收亚妮丝夫人一毛钱
为她做好不动产计划
为什么?
因为我们不在乎那点小钱
我们可以以此来争揽她们公司的业务
亚妮丝咖啡集团可是资产 数十亿美元的大公司
有什么要我帮忙的吗,郝威?
我只是想来恭喜你扭转乾坤
扭转什么乾坤?
你打败了钱德勒
拜托.我从来都没把钱德勒放在眼里
哦,对对,你没把他放在眼里
我在想什么呢?
我想下班后
我们是不是去喝点酒
顺便看看本地有什么天才
不行,我6点钟要去见亚妮丝夫人
顺便说一下,是"你和我去喝酒"
不是"你和我去"
有人在给你发消息
谁是律师姑娘?
谁都不是
哇,你不会想去跟网友见面吧?
不.我是说,你知道的 技术上说是的,但是不是
我跟她是在一个法律专题聊天室里碰到的
她是,呃,非常聪明非常有品味的
你上她了吗?
今天晚上7点我去追求她
哦,天,你在追求她,听起来很刺激
这就是她?
是的,她很迷人,对不对?
我想是,不是我喜欢的类型
什么啊...她绝对是人见人爱的大美人
呃,她看起来有点太贫血了
要不是我身体弱肯定会喜欢那个的
你身体还行啊
好了,只要她让你开心,我就替你感到高兴了
除了凯特你还有没有上过其他人?
上...我该打电话给她了
苏菲亚,帮我打电话给我老婆好吧?
前妻 对,前妻
马上就打
这个我帮不了你,伙计,回头见
彼德,你不能再对孩子们食言了
你就是不能
我只是说我不能带他们去夏威夷
并没有说不能陪他们啊
他们这星期可以跟我
他们会很失望的
我现在不能跟你长谈
爸爸不能带你们去夏威夷了
哦,该死
他总是这样
山德森,订了两个人的位子
哦,你来得有点迟
她来了多久了?
大概有20分钟
她麻烦吗?
谢谢
你好.我是彼德山德森
好,很高兴他们没有派个小孩过来
我特别要求他们派人跟我年纪相仿的人
多好的法国牛头犬啊
我母亲曾经养过一个,非常好的伙伴
她叫什么名字?
他叫威廉莎士比亚
哦,当然
我听说了你的不幸的脱逃
我没有脱逃
我是说解雇你以前的那个律师
那个家伙是个强盗
不能因为我有很多钱
人们就有权来给我出高价啊
我不喜欢被人占便宜
所以我们才免费为您服务
无论如何,你的钱都是辛苦挣来的
是继承来的
哦,继承来的也要辛苦保值啊
现在我们能谈正事了吗?
好
那你可能把建议书给我了
我带着走
建议书?
我准备明天见面再给你的
有人向我保证今天下午
建议书就能搞好的
我觉得明天我们根本没有必要见面
打扰一下,夫人,对不起
我们这里不允许带狗的
非常抱歉,我得请您把狗带走
对不起,我是亚妮丝夫人的律师
因为这里并没有挂禁止带狗的标牌
所以这里就没有允不允许带狗的规矩
如果你不想吃官司的话
我建议你赶快跑去厨房
去给这里的威廉莎士比亚
弄点鲔鱼酱料来
是,先生
非常抱歉,夫人
明天几点什么时候见面?
你好,山德森先生
克莱恩夫人,见到你永远都是一种荣幸
我什么时候能再去
照顾你家迷人的小乔治?
很快了
因为他很喜欢去你家玩
呃,山德森先生?
那些鬼鬼崇崇的拉丁人...
哦,他们在找阿鲁达的房子
给房子装管道?
不,是要买下来
哦,拜托
如果他们在这区而不带吹落叶机...
是啊
我非常想继续跟你讨论这个问题
但是我还约了人
嗨
你好
希望你喜欢香...
...波
怎么了,宝贝?
哦,香槟,我喜欢香槟
这是为我准备的?
对不起.我想你是走错地方了
终于见面了,真他妈的好
什么?
是我啊,傻瓜...夏琳
哦,吃的
什么?
是我啊,亲爱的 你约会的对象...律师姑娘
不可能
别碰那个
为什么我不能是?
因为你不是金发
怎么都骗不到你
你肯定是个很棒的律师
哦,看看这些漂亮的蜡烛
浪漫死了
有人准备今晚有所斩获啊
嗨!别碰那个,那个是设好了的
你不可能是夏琳,因为夏琳是那种...
瘦瘦的小白人?
是的
知道吗,我经常听人家那么说
但你那么想是你自己的错,兄弟
你肯定没有仔细看那张照片
那张照片我看了很多次
相信我,你不在里面
让开,让我来
看到了?
我就在那儿
对不起你搞混了
我当时在的地方没有多少照片
你当时究竟在什么地方?
我去林子里转了一圈 我们还准备吃晚餐吗?
我在问你问题呢
劳力士
劳力士?
我坐过牢,宝贝,但是我没有犯罪
你是个罪犯?
别乱讲
罗斯柯破坏那道门
我踢开门而已
真的
我刚才说什么?
什么,你耳朵不好吗?
好吧
让我想想,我该怎么说呢?
我最近刚被释放出来...
好了,我知道了
你在坐牢,然后你找人帮你打字
然后你上了网,对别人撒谎
居然碰到这种事,我真倒霉
现在你得走了,因为一切都结束了
不不不
亲爱的,你才撒谎了呢
稚气的浅色...拜托
是灰色
你说你是罪案律师
我查过你的档案
你只不过是个可怜的税务律师
税务律师就是罪案律师
哦,是吗?
那好,因为这就是我来的目的
告诉我
我想重新审理我的案子
那你做了什么 在车道护栏上点烟烧房子吗?
点烟? 烧房子?
你是个职业罪犯,呃?
不,伙计,我因为持枪抢劫而入狱 但是我没有干过
是啊,没有人动过手
我不能跟你谈这个
因为你是会犯罪的那种人
如果我是罪犯的话
早就拿那把刀杀了你了
你这种说法让我很不安
但我没有那种想法 你该走了
拜托,听我说,一秒钟就好
不,我没有一秒钟给你
那让我说几句话,行不行?
什么?
我没犯法
你粗鲁的混...
我不会走的
那是你的孩子,彼德,别不承认!
DNA测试都证明了的!
你是个骗子,彼德!
你知道小卡林是你的!
为什么?!
你怎么能这样对我,彼德?!
你跟我说过我是你的非洲皇后的
因为那个我才爱上了你,彼德!
我不在乎你的小东西是不是弯曲的
而且小卡林也不指望你养活
他只是想跟他的白种爸爸保持父子关系
一点点巧克力香草双淇淋
皆源自破屋那奇妙的一夜
哦!
进屋吧,只要安静点!
等一下,我的鞋掉了
山德森先生? 哇哦!
没事吧?
我想我听到黑鬼的声音了
不,这里没有黑鬼
哦
那...晚安
哦,呃...
晚安
进去!
快,快!
你别动,就在那里等着
你在打电话给谁?
警察
警察局,潘尼拉警官,请稍等
那是什么?
是我们所有的电子邮件
你想托拜尔斯、克莱恩和巴恩斯哪一个
会有兴趣听...
关于你在聊天室找一夜情的事呢?
我还会寄张照片
谢谢您的等待.有什么可以效劳的?
只有今天一晚,明白吗?
好
我能忍受这个
但是想都不要想
偷偷进来占我的便宜
因为你已经失去了与 这位漂亮妹妹一起的机会了
你做梦
拜托
哦,我的上帝!床!
又大又舒服的床
哦,没有室友,也没有牢友
夏琳?
夏琳
夏琳! 算啦,你能骗得了谁啊
谁啊?谁在那儿?
谁想找琳的麻烦?
我在外面放了些百吉卷
我想我们可以出去讨论一下你的案子
怎么了?百吉卷呢?
你猜怎么样,女朋友? 你的游戏结束了
因为我烧掉了所有的电子邮件
包括藏在你外套衬里里的那份
我还删除了我电脑上的所有东西
所以我从来没见过你,你也从未见过我
想都不要想,女朋友,因为门锁上了
现在我要去接我的孩子
对这些纯真的孩子而言
你从来都没有来过这里
所以,请你马上离开
走,走,走,走,走!
然后锁上门!
注意,门会自动关上的
那你把我的东西放哪儿了?
哦,就在那边的街上
你把我的东西放在垃圾桶上?
哦,你知道吗?
祝你好运,真的
还有,我真的度过了一段非常愉快的时光
非常有意思
那,哦,好了
我想我们来生再见吧
哈哈哈哈哈,再见!
哈哈,你回家就能见到我
所以我跟他说
"不要以为我坐了你的飞机去了趟巴黎"
"就一定要跟你睡觉"
他以为我是什么人?妓女?
艾希莉阿姨会乱编吗? 拜托
你跟他住在同一间房里
你以为会发生什么事?
拜托.那是个套房...地方大着呢
宝贝,好好玩,我爱你
对你弟弟好一点,带他读书
我会的 谢谢
他还有问题吗?
哦,他每天都在拚命,但是还有点进步
爸爸来了
谢谢你,宝贝
别担心,宝贝
爸爸也很蠢,不也是做了律师嘛
艾希莉!
我不蠢
对了 不,不,不,当然不是
嗨,爸爸到了
说曹操曹操到
嗨,我的小姑娘过得怎么样,啊?
你好,爸爸
你过得怎样啊,大家伙?
啊,抱住你了
你好,凯特
你好
艾希莉,没想到你会在这里
真是个惊喜
彼德,你都快熟透了
好了,我们去俱乐部游泳吧
哦,那听起来比去毛伊岛好玩多了
知道吗,艾希莉,不是所有人
都能靠傍老大款赚钱的
有些人是必须要靠工作养活自己的
你不说话会显得聪明得多
别吵,我没时间了
孩子们,把你们的东西拿上
好吧
但是我警告过你
不要跟你毕业后碰到的第一个混蛋结婚
现在,请原谅,我有个约会要参加
别对他太好
你要约的这家伙是在哪个太平间碰到的?
别这么孩子气
嗨
你真美
谢谢
彼德,这位是葛伦
嗨
嗨,山德森先生 很高兴见到你
是啊,很高兴见到你
我们出去兜风怎么样?
好啊
我在外面等你
好
兜风
别这样
他多大?
比我小
他是干什么的? 教高尔夫球的
你怎么知道的? 什么?
你以为你了解某个人
然后有天你会在泰国醒来 发现自己少了一个肾
他的所谓高尔夫教练的身份 可能是编造出来的
他14岁的时候给你泡过茶
那个就是小葛伦?
你有什么意见吗?
一点都没有
在你的法定假日你好好玩玩吧
你肯定有意见,我了解你
你想谈谈这个吗?
只不过看起来有点蠢的样子
等一下
喂?
有些事永远都不会变
我现在不方便说话
好吧,把电话接过来
你好
你答应带我们去潜水的
有事情要做了,生活就是这样
我知道,我真的非常对不起
但现在结束了,新的开始 我们会很开心的
有什么新鲜事?你有什么新鲜事?
我在学校出演话剧"奥克拉荷马"女主角
棒极了,恭喜
你呢,大家伙?学校怎么样?
我不喜欢学校
没有人喜欢学校
但是学校里面总有你喜欢的东西吧
有天他在学校里打架了
为什么?为什么要打架?
有人说我读书的样子像个婴儿
有很多大人物学习都有困难的
像艾德加爱伦坡和爱因斯坦
还有,欧西奥兹朋
欧西不算
欧西不算,好的
爸爸,出什么事了?
你们俩在这里等,我马上回来
嗨!
你以为你是要去哪儿,牛奶?
里面正在进行慈善活动
要想进去,请先捐款
相信我,里头脱离险境了
脱离什么?我住在这里
我不管你是不是哈利贝瑞,伙计
不捐款,就别想进去
那我报警怎么样?
进去好好玩吧
好啊,宝贝,让我看看
你们到底在干什么?
哦,没事的
我找了我的女友
因为我得去做做头发
然后她就叫了个朋友 他们又找了他们的朋友
不知不觉中就成了家庭聚会了
我要你们所有人都出去!
大伙听着!
放松一点,娘娘腔
你把我锁在外面,没钱,没地方去
我是说,女孩子就要开开心心的
7
这简直是疯了!
我老板的姐姐就住在街对面
我不能让这些人...
嗨!
给我来个7,宝贝!
她连驾照都还没拿到
爸爸
不要去...
掷!
别吸气
好啦,继续把他们的油水榨干,小家伙
嗨!给我...
轮到我掷了,爸爸
出去
我要你跟你的狗们滚回你们的狗窝去
什么?
什么,是因为我说狗的吗?
因为她说过狗的,我以为我说狗
你们不会介意的
啊?
再见,塔米卡,你们好好照顾自己
再见
你们都得走了
好吧 那好吧
嗨,宝贝,我得走了
哦,再见,小熊 非常感谢
聚会结束了,好了,感谢光临
但是已经结束了
如果我看到威多的话 我会告诉他你已经出来了
你知道他想知道那个
这我倒不知道,我会再找你的
好的,再见,宝贝 再见
是像这样的
嗨
过得怎么样,邻居? 怎么了?
你还在这里做什么?
那些都是什么人啊,爸爸? 爸爸,这是谁啊?
她谁都不是
怎么了,小罗蜜欧?
我叫夏琳,你叫什么名字?
我叫乔治
你不能与一个不存在的人说话
夏琳会跟我们一起去俱乐部吗?
俱乐部?什么俱乐部?
我们没准备去什么俱乐部,记得吗?
我们要去夏威夷的,记得吗?
好了,你知道该怎么做了,出去!!!
出去!快走. 别这样,伙计!
莎拉,把门打开.快,出去
出去,出去,出去!
等等! 什么?
把我的钱给我,小家伙
那些钱应该捐给慈善机构的!
哦!
你到底想...
嗨,我住在这里
耶!
什么?
好了,大家
你们尽管点些热狗,然后尽情的玩水
所有东西都记在我的帐上好了 只要玩得开心就好
你没带浴衣来吗?
哦,不,我要跟一个客户去喝茶
但是我很快就会回来的
随你怎么说
想去游泳吗?
和你?
算了吧
看起来怎么样?
我一整晚都在证明
你的计划是绝对明智的
你有着我见过的最干净的背景
那种背景让我失去了生命中的很多乐趣
我不知道,亲爱的
什么都别说,她会听见的
那么吃惊干什么?
我在找山德森的桌子
我们是大学时代的老同学
好...好的,他在餐厅里
我带你去
哦,不不不不
我跟你说...我要给他一个惊喜
不,你现在情况很好.我要走了
好的,你是对的,什么都不可能出错
我跟重要客户会面至少也要上百万次了
所以我没事
快变 什么?
哦,不
完了 你这个可可女神
可可女神? 那就是我跟你说的 粗鲁的女人
那就是夏琳?
她看到我了吗?
好好好,报警
呃,不,来不及了
呃,叫保安
恐怕打不过她
呃,钱
她会要钱的
你好,给你,这些都给你
如果你现在就走的话 我以后还会给你更多
不,男朋友,我们有事要谈
男朋友?
哦,我没跟你说过吗?我们在约会
是某种街语
是说"在你帮我解决我的问题之前"
"我哪儿都不会去"
听说,亚妮丝夫人,一个非常重要的客户
随时都可能来
下午好
下午好,山德森先生?
哦,是,他在餐厅
谢谢
夏琳,你看我们能不能
一起去泳池边去喝点鸡尾酒?
这个傻瓜是谁?
好主意,记在我的帐上好了
我不想喝什么鸡尾酒,我需要你的帮助
小姐
再来一杯马提尼
哦,天啊,不.我知道她不是在跟我说话
艾希莉,她不是在这儿上班的
如果她在这里不是上班,那是来干什么的?
该死的不是,小姐东东,你最好闭上嘴巴
她是我前妻的妹妹
好几年前我就想亲手杀了她
亚妮丝夫人来了!
老家伙看起来很小气
是的,你必须得走了
你喜欢生蠔吗,夏琳?
好啊,我想我可以在这边多待一会
这里有哈辣鸡翅吗?
好的,你要什么都可以
你给我地方住? 行
你会帮我打官司? 完全可以
如果你帮我清除了犯罪记录 我马上就离开
没问题
好吧,请给我一个钥匙
山德森先生?
亚妮丝夫人
你的同伴是谁?
这位是郝威罗特曼 就我跟你提过的那位律师
很荣幸认识你,亚妮丝夫人
我是指她
她?
她是...她...
她是我们的...她是我们的奶妈
爸,好无聊
孩子们,见到你们真好
我们是不是很喜欢我们的奶妈夏琳啊?
唔...是的
你是不是很喜欢当我们的奶妈啊,夏琳?
是的,先生
现在我要跟孩子们去池子玩水了
也许我们再来捉弄白种人,孩子们
哦,孩子们就是爱她
真幽默 没错
彼德,我要去池边逛逛
找我的话,我就在那里
亚妮丝夫人
这边请,亚妮丝夫人
来吧,威廉
你有带文件来吗?
是的,我有带
奶妈穿那样子真奇怪
对孩子们而言很新潮
威廉,注意点
你好,山德森一家!
乔治,别忘了扑克之夜!
不会忘的
我怎会忘记扑克之夜?
我想干一杯
好的
敬我们俩
愿我俩生生世世...
抱歉,是找我的
你不会去接吧?
可能是...我孩子打来的
一下子就好
对不起
喂?
嘿,是我
嗨,艾希莉,一切都还好吧?
我不知道
我今天在俱乐部里看到彼德
他跟一个巨无霸黑妞在交往
什么? 你在说什么呀?
他说是他的奶妈
跟我见过的奶妈样子一点都不像
她整个人...又黑又胖
那是...
你认为很好笑吗? 很好笑吗?
你觉得我好笑吗?
不,不是的,那不好笑
你在笑我?
哦,我不是...
住手,走开啦
不,我不是在笑你
只是...等等
你知道,听着,我了解彼德,我了解他
他不会花所有时间去照顾孩子
他会雇人来照顾!
认真点,凯特! 这女人不是奶妈
你必须采取点行动
我有看到这女人,我当时在那里
你至少不是该查明一下她的身份?
谢谢,谢谢
听着,彼德若是逢场作戏就不要紧
又不像是雇了个已定谳的重刑犯
哦,我可不敢那么肯定
我们来瞧瞧...拒捕、袭警
连续戳人眼珠
以及...捣毁下体
被人诬陷,我当时有些气愤
现场找到你的衣物和证件
全是栽赃的,我没抢任何人!
好吧
我知道我的权利,我要上诉!
我要上诉!
除非你被判刑入狱才能申请上诉
你被释放了啊
听着,你何不重头来过?
回学校去,至少先搞好...
...英语
肯定前途无量
只需做点小小承诺
我女儿莎拉完全允诺
她就要功成名就
哦,她要出去了,没错
还剩一大笔信托财产
看样子,这老守财奴每年会得到一笔 为数可观的减免额
不接任何电话,苏菲亚
不是电话,是有人来...
小姐,出去!
我不知道你是谁...
让她进来
现在你知道我是谁了吧?
不能等今晚再说吗?
进来,请坐一会吧
谢了,不行,不能等了
你得看看这个
是什么? 我找到这份笔录
警察当局访问过一位目击证人
她告诉警方说犯人...
胸口没有刺青
警方却没有告诉我的律师这点
那样是隐匿申明...
申明无罪的证据,"法律对话",我晓得
你怎么知道的呢?
她怎会不知道? 她说的头头是道
该死,彼德,我被关在里头 可唸了不少法律书籍
而且滚瓜烂熟
让你误认为我是律师
我意思是,你显然聪慧过人
为何你走路讲话和行为举止这样?
因为很性感
我没做作!
我就是这样
我是说,你以为我无法像你们 那种讲话方式吗?
哦,彼德
我非常喜欢你这间的摆设装璜!
好干净,好...好舒适,好棒!
你瞧? 你行的
你喜欢那样是吧?
你有权不喜欢黑人
因为我不需要你的认同
不,她不需要你的认同
嘿,你不会以为我会这样妥协了吧?
你以为我喜欢像个发怒的白人走来走去?
是的,我知道你一定莫名其妙
彼德,托拜尔斯先生要来见你
哦,天哪
这应该会很有趣
我们怎么办,玩"藏姐姐"游戏?
还是再来玩奴隶游戏呢?
只要....表现自然点
我们送她出去吧 有何不可呢?
彼德...郝威
艾德
这位是谁?
这位是... 我们只是在...
山德森先生,我看得出你很忙
所以我真的很感激你
提供免费服务
哦,我...我只是...天哪
彼德...
她是...
你瞧,这儿的山德森先生
真是个天大好人...
愿神保佑你!
你已受到祈福了
替康普顿教会办理税务
中南部浸信会
你知道的,略尽微薄之力
雪克牧师
叫他雪克就好
雪克
我让你们去忙吧
周四唱诗班排演时见了
七点,好的!
我陪雪克夫人...
去搭电梯
各位
彼德,我们财务真的有危机
我刚收到消息,有别间公司可能获得
R&S公司财源
我们必须完成这笔交易
听着...
这案子我可以协助彼德
总之,谢啦,不过我真的大局在握
所以你根本不用担心,艾德
很好,那我希望你一两天之内解决完毕
那是计划,当然
你能不能...
当然 谢谢
她自己不会摆球吗?
我玩这运动已经好多年了
看样子是没错
全是为了培养耐心
你打赢我19次了
那就凑个20次吧
好的
亚妮丝夫人,不知道...
你是否愿意周四过来我家
先看一遍合约内容
我得和我秘书茱莉亚查一下行程
亚妮丝夫人,能否失陪个几分钟?
我得去看看我的孩子一下
哦,当然,去吧
我想把你沾一下起司酱
涂抹在丽滋饼干上
如果我不是过于难以捉摸
小子,你真是有点古怪
哦,你不知道
你教我神魂颠倒
嘿嘿嘿! 嘿,你在这里做什么?
你说像什么呢? 我在约会
约会
她在约会? 她可是重刑犯
我才不是重刑犯 嘿,她来这里做什么?
习惯吧,瘦皮猴
你会常常在这里见到我的
手上还拿了把扫帚
要是有拿,是因为我要扫白种垃圾
留着去跟女青年会说吧,肉饼脸
婊子! 我要揍得你哭爹喊娘的!
你就不能心平气和一下吗?
你何不回去好好喝你的酒呢?
亚妮丝夫人来了
我在保护你,我在帮你
记住,我帮你...
好啦! 我不会跟她计较的
感谢你大人有大量,既聪明又成熟
现在,带她从那边走
让我带你四处逛逛,夏琳
气色不错哦,洛伊斯!
嘿,怪小子...
我要为你打扮得更加娇艳动人,好吗?
我马上回来
好的,太棒了
你进来做什么?
我说过你会不时看到我,对吧?
听着,我来警告你
你再对我无礼的话
这里就会天下大乱
退后,黑鬼
你吓唬不了我
你知道怎么吗? 没错
你一定想多擦点眼影,对吧? 来呀!
你惹错对象了,婊子
有氧拳击健身操
一天练两小时,一星期五天
吃屎吧! 一天廿四小时,我练了一辈子
你知道,对个瘦巴巴的白种婊子而言 你算相当厉害了
我不想再多费唇舌了
"这女孩有着一..."
"...对..."
"一对Ｄ罩杯"
好了,你懂了,小鬼
"我把嘴巴放在她的奶..."
"...子上"
那是什么?
你怎么能让他看这...
他看过,你看过
乔治,你看过
我要宰了你!
我真以你为傲
我要送你回牢里去!
我在你抽屉找到的
我是个大人了,54...41...49岁了
他才8岁,我看的都是偷偷摸摸地...
你怎么弄的?
哦,老天,老是弄不完
听着,这小子没有仔细看
字里头的涵义
所以大部份时间他只是在猜测
你所要做的便是冷静下来
给他一些激励的书看
爸?
什么是rack?
是个国家
他一直烦我,我才那么做的
要不然...
帮我丢掉好吗?
好了,放回我房间
我会丢是因为我有特别的...
克莱恩夫人,见到你太好了
进来!
今晚是女子扑克之夜要在你家
我的小庄家呢?
请在此等一下,我去叫他
乔治,克莱恩夫人来了!
嗨,克莱恩夫人
来吧,乔治!
今晚我要教你如何虚张声势
我想该替你梳个不同发型
你好像同性恋者
我不是同性恋者! 我没说你是
你好 嗨,你好吗?
晚安,先生
等等,等等
爸,我不想教你抓狂,好吗?
我干嘛抓狂?
爸,这是亚伦
嗨
你好 你好,先生
我...我...很高兴终于见到你了
我...我...告诉莎拉那非常重要
你能对我感到放心
让我带她去和我父母一块吃顿晚餐
那这算是约会啰?
最迟晚上11点我会送她回家,先生
我想应该没问题吧
好了,有效吧?
对,神奇妙方,朋友
好了,狂欢吧
嘿,小心座位
好了... 哦,闭嘴
不,我说真的,那是真皮的
看看你,完全成熟了
屋子里没吃的
对,说重点吧
我饿了,你饿不饿?
你是在约我出去吗?
不,不是
是的,没错
好的
哦,看看这杯脚
我告诉你,这地方太屌了
你刚是不是说"这里很棒"?
为何"屌"这个字让你这么紧张?
你很聪明,只要你肯屈就一下讲英语
利用你在网路上及牢里所学到的知识
他日一定能成为律师助理
好比要让我去上学得先撞破我的门再说
你绝对是符合他们需求的人选
总之,为何我要那么做?
我去过你的办公室
人人精神紧绷、工作过量
疲劳不堪、压力过重、见不到家人
"哦,艾德来了!" "哦,托拜尔斯!"
我大大方方走进你的办公室
嘿,人就是这样子,工作嘛
听着,我要说的是我做这种禁锢的事
长达四年之久
如果你那么关心我的未来
就帮我洗刷污名
我从那里体会到的
我有我自己的梦想、自己的目标
嘿,给我
嘿! 你干嘛那样做?!
因为你工作过度 这是我的手机!
你老婆可能就是那样才离开你的
好的,欧普拉,如果你对人际关系那么行
你怎么没有交男朋友?
我交过一个
只是我很久没见到他或听到他的消息了
自从四年前入狱之后
你爱他吗?
来吧,我们去跳舞
哈哈哈哈...不
快啦,你上次跳舞是什么时候?
在我的婚礼
别担心,我会跳,只是我不想跳
快点,让我看看你有多行
我会跳,只是我不想跳
你根本不会跳
我会跳 那让我见识一下
好吧,好吧
好,再喝最后一小杯
怎么,你想尿尿?
这招在我高中时很流行
天啊,听着,你不能用脑子去跳舞
你得去感受音乐,好了,来吧
我教你怎样跳才对
搞什么... 这招如何?
好像羊癫疯发作似的,来吧
你屁股要这样子摆动
屁股多摇点,行了
动作轻柔点
对不起,我忍不住,我真的很想他
哦,快点恢复正常吧
我没事了,我很好
哦,天哪,艾希莉
我还是不相信你被车子撞到
你有打电话叫律师吗?
哦,我不能打给律师,我闯越马路
我们能否别再...
怎么? 哦,我的天啊
怎么了?
看看那边!
哦,天哪,是真的 看看那! 看看那!
他从没跟我那样子跳过舞
我要去找他
不! 坐下!
为什么?
我不能告诉你
要是我说了
帮派份子会到我家杀了我
他看起来很开心
一定是我的关系
是我吗?
不,别再自责了,是他的错
我们离开这里好吗? 马上?
你知道俗话说...
一入不归路,便无法回头
我们买单好吗?
所以我才那么拼命工作
好给凯特一个美好的生活 然而却弄巧成拙!
天哪,女人才不会在乎那点
哦,女人非常在乎的
我要告诉你一个秘密
有时我开车经过我们旧家 我只是看一眼
就忆起我们的生活,太令人伤心了!
天啊,那真是太惨了,吹牛老爹
但你知道怎么吗? 我要帮你挽回她
怎么挽回?
首先,我们要营造出一种气氛
就像在餐厅一样,宝贝
我已经在了
对! 现在,体会一下巴瑞
体会一下巴瑞怀特,口气像巴瑞
好的,那是巴瑞 好耶
这是凯特
嘿,凯特 对
我要你对她满口淫秽字眼
满口淫秽!
我想吻你千百遍
别说那种感性的话,娘娘腔的!
什么?
你要当个野兽! 野兽!
对!
卧室里,女人需要男人
懂得如何驾驭她顽强的抵抗
霸王硬上弓! 上弓!
只是...我不行 那是雕塑品,我办不到
好的,好吧
那用我示范吧
什么?
该死,抓这里
什么?! 抓呀!
哦,我懂了,对
嘿,凯特
你一直在等这一刻好一阵子了,是吧?
没错! 现在你要怎么对她?
我会让你明白我要做什么!
我要帮你做芳香按摩
香薰疗法!
不! 来吧,快!
胆小鬼才做芳香按摩!
再告诉她一遍!
好了!
我要...
性交,宝贝!
不,你...你这只禽兽! 你需要点这些
对! 大睾丸!
对! 我要塞进我的裤子里!
进去,小子! 现在抓着蛋蛋!
抓着,对,嘿,宝贝! 抓着!
好了,你想干嘛? 你想干嘛?!
耶,妈妈! 你要当我的押寨夫人吗?
他妈的没错! 现在扑上来吧!
那样如何啊?! 好耶!
喜欢我扑向你吗?
像头猛狮从上头扑过去 喜欢! 我喜欢!
那正是我所说的!
你不只是丛林之王
你拥有整片丛林!
那是你的骄傲!
你拥有丛林,没有人...
敢在太岁爷头上动土!
没错! 我喜欢那样
耶! 你还没准备好嘿咻呢! 来吧!
兽性大发! 当她开始在上头骑时 你要怎么办?
好好"照顾"她! 我就要那么做!
你是我的了,凯特!
快马策鞭! 你不再需要这些了
你自己就有! 你找到你的蛋蛋了!
对,我不需要那些了! 我自己就有蛋蛋!
我的妈呀!
你的私生活怎样我们管不着
但如果开始影响到公司
我们就得关注了
各位,我们在搬一尊雕像
脚步踩空了,所以才倒在一块
我姐姐看到的是...
当时你正在搞你的奶妈
我没有在搞我的奶妈!
彼德,你一定明白,如果亚妮丝夫人
怀疑你不安于室...
我没有不安于室
你确定你信得过这家伙吗?
嘿,他在帮我重审我的案子
有任何线索吗?
银行监视器有拍到一个画面
正要送过来这里
我们找到一份有用的笔录
那太好了,宝贝
如果有什么我可以帮上忙的
任何事都行...你只要说一声即可
我得走了
威多,你刚刚说的话是不是真心的
那不是件易事
我知道不是
我只是得知道万一事情变糟了
你不会弃我而去
我一直等这一刻等了四年
我不会乱来的
计划再抢一次?
不,为什么你会那么说?
不知道
也许是听到"工作"和"棘手"这几个字
出现在两个黑人对话中吧?
那人只是我的旧男友 我告诉过你关于...威多的事
他只是想重回我怀抱
我在告诉你实情!
听着,我是不希望你见他
因为威多他一直不是个好男友
而且我晓得他会一直缠着我
怎么现在突然关心起我的想法了?
不是
也许
有一点点
别再有访客了好吗?
我对天发誓
以定谳罪犯的荣耀吗?
无辜入狱的罪犯的荣耀
好了,来击个拳,拳对拳
先那样,然后再像那样往上
就像那样子
喂?
爸!
嘿,甜心
夏琳在吗?
她在,你要和她讲话?
你还好吧? 是的,我...
好吧
莎拉? 好的 女孩子的悄悄话
怎么了,孩子?
我需要你来接我回家,我现在不方便谈
你在哪里?
在转角那间"威尼斯运河"
前门外面有一大堆人
拜托别告诉我爸! 好的
不会的,冷静点,我马上去接你
对不起,我不知道还有谁可找
没关系,怎么回事?
嘿,莎拉,你怎么样?
那是你男朋友吗?
不,他不是我男朋友
我喜欢他的朋友麦克
我们出去过几次,他一直对我很好
可是后来...今晚他只想上床
我是说他举止有点粗暴,而且...
他对你施暴? 他人在哪?
和那票人回那里去了
下楼等我
麦克!
拜托别杀我!
哦,天哪!
你是谁? 疯子吗?!
拉我上去! 你想干嘛?!
莎拉!
麦克有话对你说
说"对不起"!
对不起! 说"对不起"! 老天,对不起!
说"不就表示不"
不就表示不!
她在哪?!
冷静点,只是...
她才14岁! 她15岁了! 等等!
嗯...哦!
听着...
莎拉不需要守卫
她需要的是她父亲 你...
所以你不能生气,好吗?
你一生气,她就不会再告诉你任何事了
好的,我懂,我懂了
冷静点,有话好好说,你知道我的意思吧?
倾听她说话,让她自己说出来
我全听你的啦!
谢谢
别动怒
那么...
你跟个男孩子出去...
他带你去舞会
一堆孩子在...喝酒
神智恍惚...
然后他带你上楼到房间里
他打算...
来硬的...
他...有没有?
接着夏琳赶来...
驾着我的新车载你回家
在这之前先...痛扁他一顿
今晚太爽了
哦,老爸!
不敢相信你竟然没宰了我!
哦! 这太棒了! 我要把一切通通坦白告诉你
哦,我有好多话想告诉你!
凯特,你在这里干嘛?
你来这里做什么?
我下班抄捷径回家
才不是呢
是 不是
我以为你在山上
是没错,我提前回来了
有熊袭击露营者
还吃掉他们
哇
话说回来...有出事吗? 你的...
哦,不,不,他很好
对,我喜欢他
那你的...
我的什么?
你的生活?
有什么新奇的吗?
没有
我和孩子们在一起很开心
很好,很高兴你和她在一起很开心
他们
怎么?
你瞧...
是的
轻松自在
很好,你看起来挺好
那么,我想我晚些时候会来接走孩子们
哦,我想知道我是否能留他们过星期五
真的?你不忙吗?
不
好吧,就这么定了
太棒了,彼德
如果你想来...
继续
对不起
喂?
快给我滚回来
我会在我自己的最美时刻回家的,女友
你必须现在就动身 亚妮丝说她正在来这的路上
哦,我把那些统统忘了
哦,对不起,我不得不走了
我把些事儿给忘了
但我想继续这个谈话
所以我会给你打电话,或者你打电话给我
再见!
嗯
喔哦!哦!哦!哦!哦!
她来了没? 没有!
这地方太乱了!
我们必须把这儿打扫干净!
嗨,上楼去做好准备!
你在看什么?!
起来!走!走!
嘿,我们刚好有时间
我有些事想告诉你
好吧,你等等
孩子们!她在这儿!
亚妮丝夫人?
哦!
我有些话要直说,山德森先生
有流言在传说
你的私人生活和你的家庭处于混乱
这让我觉得很忧虑
我不知道是谁误导了你,但是请进
我不喜欢你被任何关于我和我家的谣传
所误导
莎拉? 乔治?
你们还记得亚妮丝夫人吗?
再次见到你真是太高兴了
嗯,爸爸,如果你有时间
愿意帮我完成关于维多利亚女王的作业吗?
没问题,亲爱的
还有别忘了,爸爸,明天你要到学校
帮着分发食品给贫困孩子
我曾忘了帮助那些贫困孩子吗?
从来没有,爸爸
说实话,山德森先生,你有个可爱的家
谢谢
你的孩子举止十分的好
他们是天使
哦,威廉
瞧啊!
它喜欢你儿子
那太甜蜜了
总之,我们到书房里谈谈契约...
那么美味的味道是什么?
啊,那是夏琳在准备饭菜
总之,契约...
自打小时候起我就再没闻过家常菜的味道
真的吗?但是...
唤回了美好的回忆
是吗?可是,事实上,书房...
你的桌子看起来不错
是的,可惜太小了
太小?
实际上,蛮大的,不是吗?
是张大桌子,那么...
能再容得下一个人
哦,如果不勉强的话...
哦...哦
好吧,我去看看食物是否足够
我不能肯定
因为,实际上,今晚,嗯
你知道的,今晚是特别节日
白人要吃很少量的食物
因为上帝就是在这个晚上下凡的
他获赠了许多事物
太多太多了,可他说“不用了”
因此,他就吃了一小点
那就是为什么我们不能多准备的原因
那么,我就要去查查看上帝会说些什么
就一会儿
过来,威廉
嗨,过来,你饿了吗?
夏琳...
如果有时间,我需要帮助,就现在
可以啊,亲爱的 随便
哦,谢谢!
哦,亚妮丝夫人?
啊?
我和我全家很高兴邀请你来聚餐
哦
好啊,太好了 真的不必客气
嗯,但如果你们坚持的话
然后,我们就能签那份契约
当然
饭好了
我是在南部长大的
那味道就像是我们长春藤的什锦菜肴
她是那么的出色
我们没付她工钱,当然的,你知道的
但是,那时,人们有服务标准
当然,长春藤是知道的
你从左边服务并从右边收集
不要...
别再说下去了,因我很喜欢听听你的过去
多迷人的啊
是啊
好吧,我是说...
是的
没错,快速起效剂
快速起效剂
哦,我要让你尝尝
让你尝尝
我会在你的右边为你提供食物服务
是左边?是右边?
爸爸与帕沙迪纳共青团共事
真是无法用钱来衡的
我希望你们带着好胃口来
是的
我带来我的了
哦,天哪
对我来说这太多了
我永远都解决不了全部那些
我这的少一点 我跟你换
哦
谢谢
怎么了,夏琳?
没事,先生
哦
哦,这食物真是太美味了
在他右边服务,总之
让我穿这讨厌的制服
你很幸运能找到这么有才能的帮助
我们的长春藤跟着我们很久
我们真的把她当成我们家庭的一分子
嗯
在每顿饭后
我的母亲会把我们没吃完的都收集起来
用个大盘子来盛,接着交给长春藤
夏琳...
那特殊的味道是什么?
很熟悉,但是...
像是种像鼠尾草的香草?
不,又有几分像是薄荷奶
什么奶...不管怎么样,味道真得不错
嗯
很好
好好享用
哦,等一会儿
嗯,你知道的,嗯
有首很好听的歌,忧愁的黑人精神
那是长春藤的兄弟常常唱的
你没事吧?
长春藤的兄弟常常这样唱
当他从烟草地里回来时
现在,来第二部分
如果你们愿意一起来合唱
哼
那是个不寻常的感觉
爸爸?
你还好吧?
啊!
嗯
哈哈!
哈哈哈哈!
嗯,哈!哈哈哈哈!
喔啊!
我希望你们的爸爸没事
这常发生吗?
请原谅
嗯...
乔治,我们去看关于法兰西斯德拉克传记
我们...我的意思是
他看起来被那首歌打动了
哦,他感动中,没错
今晚的头条新闻是... 威廉?
联邦调查局需要你们帮助
来找出逃亡者夏琳摩顿
夏琳是名非洲裔的美国女性,31岁...
这是什么?
...5英尺6英寸,175磅
左乳房有纹身
犯有持械抢劫罪
夏琳是即狡猾又十分危险的
6天前从洛杉矶外的一间
女子监狱逃出
摩顿怀疑是有武装的
银行的监视录影带显示夏琳正挥舞着枪
并抓住一个消费者做人质
夏琳是危险人物,可能有武装
如果你们有关于夏琳摩顿的任何消息
请联系你们当地的联邦调查局
这就是今晚的“在逃罪犯”
晚安,小心点
亚妮丝夫人,我能解释所有的事情
彼德,在你误会前,请听我解释
没什么好说的
但我没做过,彼德
你应该给我走
好吧,我去收拾下我的东西
我不知道,你见过她,那她现在在哪儿?
我不知道她在哪儿
别扔肥皂
那是什么鬼意思?
我才不信这个,我在担心她
对于她独自一人在外的事实我觉得很厌烦
你担心那几乎不能在街上照顾自己的
那可怜的、清白的、脆弱的人?
那我呢? 托拜尔斯会解雇我的!
再说了
如果亚妮丝打电话给警察 我就会被送进监狱!
这是当地办公署的电话
联邦调查局处理逃亡者是很谨慎的
你们,先生们,将首先收到我的讯息
亚妮丝没报警,她报了FBI
现在,你没见过我 我见过了
不,我的意思是,你没见过我
我正在看着你,你要...
如果你有她的消息
请跟她说冷却点在窗外...
她在游戏中已经击败了我
你为什么跟琳厮混?
我没跟她厮混,我在帮她
放屁!
啊!
我来告诉你真相!
听好了,你不用再掺和
现在起,我来处理
我不想再打开这盒子 盒子是关着的
离她的生活远点
如果我再回来这儿,那就会有流血事件
啊!
也许我现在就应该把这解决掉
嗨,嗨,嗨
我们必须找到夏琳
我想你恨夏琳
我查出她是清白的
我知道,我知道
我要去哪儿找她啊?
你可以打电话给她
我不知道她在哪里,我怎么打电话给她?
我把你的电话给了她,万一你可以...
你把我那部600美元的新钛手机给了她?
好主意,来吧
你脑子怎么啦?
这是首都艺术博物馆 我能为您做点什么吗?
我知道谁陷害你
什么?!谁?
上车
那么,怎么啦?
那家伙用枪指着我
叫我不要再打开那盒子
我在想,“他为什么要这么干?”
接着我有了头绪... 那是因为他是被牵连的
该死的他
我不敢相信威多这样对我
你认为他在哪里?
我不知道
有可能在市区他那间挂牌出售的夜总会里
叫做"堕落"
去获取供词
你不能去那儿
我是认真的
白人到"堕落"
就像是个警察,一具尸体,或是个笨蛋
你甚至不能吭声
我能领会出些东西
郝威要我告诉你
“冷却点就在窗外
你在游戏中已经击败他了”
真的?
这是人们对我说过最好听的话
我会在这把你放下
因为我要回办公室开电话会议
那么,我一会儿再见你
好的
是的,小子,我要部车
你能现在来吗?
见鬼,直走,蠢货
看起来像是钱德勒为她来打击我们
我能向你保证,亚妮丝夫人
彼德山德森不会再跟
托拜尔斯、,克莱恩和巴恩斯有关联
很好
你的脚踝很棒
什么?!
你曾是个舞者?
是的
我想你曾经有很多的观众
你们俩干什么?
我希望没打搅了什么
你真下流
你在这儿干什么?
亚妮丝夫人,我来这儿不是来找麻烦的
那一定是头一回
茱莉亚? 茱莉亚?
茱莉亚现在有点累了
我只想你听听我说的话
彼德不需为任何这些负责,而是我
我的意思是,这家伙是个很棒的律师
我没见过像他这么正派的男人
我想那说得过多了 闭嘴,蠢货
如果你仅仅知道他的自愿去
帮助朋友的时间长度
听着...修女...
"修女"?
你为什么不回到山德森那儿
你们俩得了"丛林热"
在我报警之前?
很好,帅哥
你没被狠扁过?
谁?
哦!
我是你可不会那么做!
为什么不呢?
你应该回到你本该所属的监狱
没错
你疯了!
没听清我刚说的
你显然是个听力有障碍的人
郝威?
这是我家!我不想说那些
威廉
我是凯特山德森,你见到我的孩子们了吗?
在那儿 哦!
嘿!
哦,上帝啊!
怎么了?
就是联邦调查局的,妈妈
他们就是来,像是,调查
查什么?
查夏琳,可她不...
联邦调查局在找你们的保姆?
伙计,把你的手拿开!
我说,退后,蠢货!
那就我的意思,你知道我在说什么吗?
我不希望这样吧
劳驾...
小伙子...
嗨,你在那儿有间浴室?
嗨,干什么呢?
你爸爸是谁?
把战利品搞回来,放进玻璃杯中
这儿有人明白我说什么吗?
那么...
你们的保姆...
犯有持械抢劫
她逃狱出来...
然后就来到这儿
但她是清白的
现在你们的爸爸是去...
帮她
听起来挺疯狂的,是吗?
他不再是那个同样的人了
是的,他真的很酷
说说看,你们在家 也这么兴奋高兴?
我晚上可是来狂欢的
如果你伤到那只狗头上的一根毛发
好了,“伤到头上的一根毛法” 你让我十分的紧张
喂?
莎拉? 哦,嗨,夏琳
叫你爸爸听电话
他不在,他去找你了
他去找我?!
好吧
郝威,调个头,我们回市区去
我就住在市区,抓紧了
不!不!
喔啊!
你在想什么,伙计?
那你呢?你是喝了"哈托拉"吧?
怎么啦,伙计?你从哪儿来?
打该来的地方来
搞啥呢,伙计? 强啊,小子,强
你能突然转向吗,雪人?
我前额上有写着“白鬼子”?
当然我行,我试着来窥视一下
如果你觉得是在家一样,伙计 就跟这女人跳舞吧
不行,我有很大只的
到那儿去,秀出你的最佳状态
不,我不行,我有要紧的事情要顾及
我跟你说,但是...
为此你会被判无期徒刑
你是个绑匪,还是个淫妇!
继续说啊,茶叶带
哦?!茶叶带!
是的,你在冒着黏糊糊的泡沫
太可怕了
见鬼,伙计,你看起来真是蠢
真的?
因为我是从你妈妈那儿弄来的这套装备
好了,阿姆,别说胡话了
我想你不知道你遇到多大麻烦了
很好,很好,很好
我来这儿是来谈事的
私事
这是什么地方?
我没看到他
我想他在后面那间房里
那我们怎么来处理她呢?
坐下
什么?
坐下去
听着,如果你跑了
你的小东西就活不成了
明白了? 明白
好吧,走吧
那是真的?
哦
嗯,七加七,双倍
你怎么样?
什么?!
我说,“你怎么样?”
哦,幻想
你或者是我遇见过最闷的闷瓜 或者是你就是...
等等,我喜欢这首歌
关掉
叫这儿的所有人都出去
我要告诉你,他真的在那
好,没错,他在那儿
然后你进去了,接着发生了什么?
3秒钟
你为什么在这儿?
我感觉到你与被盗的巨款有关
你想把其隐藏起来,我想你需要一个律师
电话怎么了?
我在召集骑兵
你会重回监狱的
那么你想帮我洗黑钱了?
我可以把它存进一个 不易被人发现的帐号里
在鳄鱼岛
我想要的是10万美金
我们能一起走出这儿
我会告诉你夏琳在哪里...那很简单
你在走钢丝?
我?
不,你呢?
然后,他们绑架了我
他们带走了我的狗,威廉
真是可恶
喔,你不介意
你抽烟吗,奶奶?
为什么不呢?
让你的鬼话见鬼去吧
冷静,夏琳已经准备反咬你一口
她知道谁是你的同党
哦,那真是很有趣 我没开玩笑
他们就在外头停车场里等着我的信号 然后...
然后...然后...信号就是...
如果我没回来,他们就给FBI打电话
那儿没有同党,蠢货
在照片里有个女孩
不,那是有人假扮的
你...
你丢下她的衣服,枪,还有钱
明白了?
你真是他妈的聪明
听着,我们不能再等下去了
等等,夏琳!
开门,威多想见我
谁说的?
琳说的
彼德
好了,这不是精神时刻?
我正想见到你
好啊,威多,这就关乎你和我
让他走
没问题
啊!
哦,见鬼
怎么了?你要干什么?
啊!
我拿到了
瞄准,郝威! 没错!
啊哈!现在枪在谁手里,啊?
谁现在拿着枪? 很好
全部给我趴下!
快给我趴下!
带他出去!
啊!
姑娘们
很有趣,不是吗?
我刚想离开这儿
谢谢
FBI!
所有人,不许动!
夏琳! 夏琳! 哦,亲爱的!
哦,哦,亲爱的
夏琳
见鬼
放开!
哦,夏琳
哦
什么?
该死的
嗨,郝威,她没事
夏琳...
我...
帮我个忙,亲爱的
不要再那样吓我了
否则我可就要打你的屁股
如果我不装成那么敏感的话
他真是个怪人
你是山德森?
是的
等等,她是清白无辜的
说话注意点
我能证明
山德森先生...很有胆量
你冒了很大的风险,干得漂亮
哦,十分感谢,但我想我并没做什么
一个普通的人是不会... 再次感谢
山德森先生...
你在这
你行为可憎
可...
可恨
可... 可恶
我知道
莎士比亚 莎士比亚
不,等等,这很严肃
我要你...
取出肠子
哦!
嗯,取消资格
取消...
取消律师资格?
取消律师资格
哦,通通见鬼去吧
我想我是醉了
不要告诉任何你现在瞧见我这模样
亚妮丝夫人...
威廉
哦,上帝啊,你是只难看的狗
还很沉
我来抱
谢谢
这附近有24小时餐厅吗?
我知道有个地方有,我带你去
我真是太饿了
你们没事吧?
你认为呢?
唷,真酷,走了
唷,真酷。
少来了
好吧,那还不够好
你会继续试下去,不是吗?
我给亚妮丝打了四次电话 她只跟彼德讲话
我们应该把他带出来
哦,伙计们好
彼德
我提过我要自己一个人出去干吗?
你没有资金
我有个拥有数十亿财富的客户
这是个开始
还有个合作者
我都收拾好了
我们走
劳驾
彼德,这我们能谈谈
没门
彼德...
艾希莉,你跟谁在这儿?
哦,我是在,嗯,开会,嗯...
是关于我姑妈的不动产 关于她姑妈的不动产
有份遗嘱
那么,说再见吧!
我会给你电话的
嘿,孩子们,找些好的 差不多都在那了
彼德,你有人在办公室等你,是4点的预约
我今天没有没有安排任何会见
抱歉,我忘了,我有个约会
嗨
瞧,这就是一个一流的律师的生活,嗯?
这地方很无足轻重
你好吗? 我很好
对你为我做的一切
再次表示感谢
如果我可以把你给我的一半还你就好了
我们称那是平等 好吧,给我个拥抱吧!
嘿,白人是不拥抱的
你不是白人
呵,我是灰白的
见到你很高兴
凯特...
嗨
嗯,哦,我...
我找郝威办点事
哦,凯特,这是夏琳 夏琳,这是凯特
嘿,你在这儿会把事情给闹大的
呵呵,那是我的强项
很高兴认识你,凯特
谢谢
帮我好好照顾他
嗨
那么...
是什么把你带到这来的?
你知道,我的意思并不是指 是什么东西使你想来这?
我的意思是,你为什么会来这呢?
嗯,我只是想知道...
你多久会走这条捷径,经过我家?
技术上的?
嗯...
呃,每天都有很多次呢
你知道的,那是技术上的...
那叫围捕
那是种装腔作势
凯特
嘿,我有事要告诉你
冷却点就在窗外
我已做好准备加入这场游戏了
那是什么意思呢?
那表示我爱你
哦! 哦!
紧紧抓住
否则这些牙买加珠子会掉一地的
好了,别担心
好了,完成一半了
你怎么想?
对你的孩子发牢骚
嘿 没有的事
现在谁又是你的父亲?
你真让人捉摸不定