[♪♪♪]
MAN: Mummy got sick. And it happened just like that.
There's nothing anybody could do.
It isn't fair. There's no reason.
And if we start asking why, we'll go crazy.
Five minutes in the microwave.
Any one of them. Five minutes, and ready to eat.
Do you know how to make juice?
Microwave. Five minutes.
Here. It's my shrink. Call him.
Loss of Spouse Support Group.
Chicago Cancer Family Network.
Parents without Partners. Partners without Parents.
"Hug Yourself," "Hug a Friend," "Hug a Shrink." Or work.
Work hard, work will save you. Work is the only thing that will see you through this.
Don't mind him, he's just a guy who's lost his wife.
What I think we really need is change.
Good idea. Take a couple of weeks off, get some sun, take Jonah fishing.
No, real change. A new city.
Some place where every time I go around a corner I don't think of Maggie.
ROB: Where are you gonna go?
I was thinking about Seattle.
Eventually, in a few months, you'll start seeing women. You'll meet someone.
Right, right. Move on, right, that's what I'm gonna do.
And then in a few months, boom, I'll be fine. I'll just grow a new heart.
Sam, I'm sorry... She didn't mean that.
I know, I know. Look, it just doesn't happen twice.
[JIMMY DURANTE'S "AS TIME GOES BY" PLAYS]
♪ You must remember this, A kiss is still a kiss ♪
♪ A sigh is just a sigh ♪
♪ The fundamental things apply ♪
♪ As time goes by ♪
♪ And when two lovers woo ♪
♪ They still say "I love you" ♪
♪ On that you can rely ♪
♪ No matter what the future brings ♪
♪ As time goes by ♪
♪ Moonlight and love songs ♪
♪ Never out of date ♪
♪ Hearts full of passion ♪
♪ Jealousy and hate ♪
♪ Woman needs man And man must have his mate ♪
♪ That no one can deny ♪
♪ It's still the same old story ♪
♪ A fight for love and glory ♪
♪ A case of do or die ♪
♪ The world Will always welcome lovers ♪
♪ As time goes by ♪♪
The tall one with red hair is your cousin Irene.
You'll recognise her by the disappointed look on her face.
Married to Harold, who ran off with the secretary.
Who came back because Irene threatened to put the dog to sleep if he didn't.
Your brother Dennis is professor at Johns Hopkins.
He's married to, uh, Betsy.
The most competitive woman in the world.
I don't see how I'm gonna remember all this.
Oh, well, Walter, you will!
Your Uncle Milton lost all of his money.
And some other people's.
In a pyramid scheme. Don't mention the IRS or the federal prisons system.
Your mother's Barbara, your father's Cliff
My father has electric trains. Really?
Am I what they had in mind?
Oh, Walter, they're gonna love you!
[GLASS CLINKING]
WOMAN: Everybody, Annie has an announcement.
Oh... Walter and I are engaged.
[SCREAMING]
Thank you. Thank you.
Mum knew. Dad, Mum knew.
I don't see a ring, Annie.
Congratulations, Walter.
[SNEEZING]
Bless you. Bless you!
CLIFF: Are you all right? It's nothing. It's nothing.
Maybe it's the flowers.
BARBARA: We'll move them.
No, don't touch them! I feel terrible, sneezing at a time like this.
This is a very important moment for me.
He's allergic to everything, don't worry about him.
Bees. I'm allergic to bees.
Harold is allergic to every type of bee.
We always have to carry a hypodermic of adrenalin wherever we go.
If he eats even one tiny piece of a nut...
My head swells up like a watermelon and I drop dead.
IRENE: It's the same with him and bees.
Your mother and I had salmon at our wedding.
I really think a wedding without cold salmon is...
I'm not allergic to salmon. Oh, he's not allergic...
I don't think. But you never know.
You never know. Harold wasn't always allergic to bees.
BARBARA: Oh, honey, what a shame.
We had some champagne. What did we use it for?
Uncle Milton's parole.
And it was delicious. It was, wasn't it, Milton?
When are you getting married? In early June, in the garden.
Oh...
What about Harold and bees? I'm allergic to bees.
BARBARA: We'll spray you.
Cold salmon, a lovely cucumber salad, strawberries.
I'm afraid I am allergic to strawberries.
Is this all right with you?
Today, I'm consider myself the luckiest man-man-man on the face of the earth-earth-earth.
The Lou Gehrig line from...
Remember, Dad, the Lou Gehrig line from, uh...
Pride of the Yankees. Pride of the Yankees.
Pride of the Yankees! Yeah. Yeah.
Baseball. It's baseball. Historical reference.
I would like to propose a toast.
ALL: Hear, hear. To my kid sister.
To Walter and my baby.
BARBARA: To Walter and Annie.
Everyone, please eat before it gets cold.
Here it is. The Historical Society wanted this
and I never would give it to them.
ANNIE: Oh, Mum...
BARBARA: I noticed these things are back in fashion.
ANNIE: Grandmother's dress.
Oh, honey. He's a lovely man, Annie.
I know he is wonderful, isn't he?
And he's such a wonderful athlete. Are his folks nice?
You'll love them.
We're going down to DC tonight to be with them Christmas morning.
How did it happen? It's silly, really.
I mean, I'd seen him at the office. Obviously I'd seen him.
He's the associate publisher.
And then one day we both ordered sandwiches from the same place
and he got my lettuce and tomato on whole wheat, which, of course, he was allergic to.
And I got his lettuce and tomato on white.
How amazing. It is, isn't it?
You make a million decisions that mean nothing
and then one day you order takeout that changes your life.
Destiny takes a hand.
Mum, destiny is something we've invented
because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.
Then how do you explain that you both ordered exactly the same sandwich
except for the bread?
How many people in this world
like lettuce and tomato without something else, like tuna?
Well, it wasn't a sign. It was a coincidence.
I was in Atlantic City with my family, Cliff was a waiter.
He wasn't even supposed to work that night. Suppose he hadn't?
He asked me to take a midnight walk on the Steel Pier.
I probably told you this a million times, but I don't care.
Then he held my hand.
At one point I looked down and I couldn't tell which fingers were his and which were mine.
And I knew. What?
You know.
What? Magic. It was magic.
Magic.
I knew we'd be together forever. And that everything would be wonderful.
Just the way you feel about Walter.
Walter. It's quite a formal name.
One of the things I truly knew was that your father and I
were going to have a wonderful time in
the sack, I believe you call it.
Mum.
Of course it took several years before everything
worked like clockwork in that department.
So don't be worried if it takes a while.
We already... Fine, fine. Fiddly-dee. How's it working?
Like clockwork. Oh, honey...
[ANNIE GASPS]
It's a sign. You don't believe in signs.
[ANNIE CHUCKLING]
They loved you. I told you they would love you, and they loved you.
I love you. I love you, Walter.
Did anyone ever call you anything other than Walter?
No.
Not even when you were young? No, not even when I was young.
You sure you don't want to drive with me?
Oh, how will I get back to Baltimore on Friday?
I forgot the present. Walter, I left your stepmother's present inside by accident.
I swear, when we're old and grey
you gonna have to remind me to put my teeth in.
I'll be walking all over town smacking my gums together, not even noticing.
I'll wait. You'll wait? Oh, right.
No, don't wait, Walter. Really, it's silly, you go ahead. We're late anyway.
I'll be ten minutes behind you.
["SLEIGH RIDE" PLAYS ON RADIO]
♪ Sleigh bells jingle-ing Ring ting tingle-ing too ♪
♪ Horses, horses, horses ♪
♪ It's lovely weather For a sleigh ride together with you ♪
♪ Giddy-up, giddy-up ♪
♪ The snow is falling And friends are calling "Yoo Hoo" ♪
♪ Friends are calling "Yoo Hoo" Ding-a-ling-a-ling ♪
♪ Sleigh ride together with you Horse, horses, horses ♪
♪ Horse, horses ♪♪
[ROGERS' AND DALE EVANS' "JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS]
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun, it is to ride In a one horse open sleigh, hey ♪
♪ Jingle bells ♪♪
WOMAN 1 [ON RADIO]: Welcome back to "You and Your Emotions."
I'm Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, broadcasting live across America
from the top of the Sears Tower in Chicago.
Tonight we're talking about wishes and dreams.
What's your wish this Christmas Eve?
What's your wish? My wish is to turn the radio station.
MAN: Subject of this evening's medical update is: "You and your spleen."
And your host is... Not on your life.
WOMAN 2: Coming up, "Jingle Bells" backwards, sung by the New Jersey...
FIELDSTONE: Seattle, go ahead. JONAH: Hello, this is Jonah...
[BEEPING]
FIELDSTONE: No last names, Jonah.
You sound younger than our usual callers. How old are you?
JONAH: I'm 8.
FIELDSTONE: Eight? How come you're up so late?
JONAH: It's not that late in Seattle.
FIELDSTONE: Oh, of course, you're absolutely right.
All right, what's your Christmas wish, Jonah?
JONAH: It's not for me, it's for my dad. I think he needs a new wife.
FIELDSTONE: You don't like the one he has now?
JONAH: He doesn't have one now. That's the problem.
FIELDSTONE: Where's your mum?
JONAH: She died.
FIELDSTONE: Oh, I'm so sorry. Well, who can believe this?
JONAH: I've been pretty sad, but I think my Dad's worse.
FIELDSTONE: Have you talked to your dad about it?
JONAH: No. FIELDSTONE: Why not?
JONAH: It's like it makes him sadder.
FIELDSTONE: Aw, I can understand that. Jonah, is your dad home right now?
JONAH: Yeah. What's he doing? Is he busy?
JONAH: Not really, he's out on the deck.
FIELDSTONE: I'm sure that I can help. But I'm gonna need you to help me...
Wretched woman! Hang up, Jonah! JONAH: No way, he'd kill me.
FIELDSTONE: Trust me, Jonah.
He won't be angry when he realises how concerned you are about him.
Wanna bet?
JONAH: But if I get yelled at, I'm never gonna listen to your show again.
FIELDSTONE: Okay, fair enough.
JONAH: Dad? SAM: Yeah.
JONAH: There's someone on the phone for you.
His name is Sam. FIELDSTONE: Sam.
If you've just tuned in, this is Dr. Marcia Fieldstone
and tonight's topic is your wishes and dreams.
I got it.
We're on the line now with someone from Seattle.
Hello.
Hello, Sam, this is Dr. Fieldstone on Network America.
Okay. What are you selling tonight? Micro-hibachis or knives?
FIELDSTONE: No, I'm not selling anything. I just wanna help.
I want you to know that your son called
and he asked me for some advice on how you might find a new wife.
Who is this?
Dr. Marcia Fieldstone of Network America. And you are on the air.
You called a radio station? FIELDSTONE: Sam, are you with me?
Yeah. Yes.
Your son feels that since your wife's death you've been very, very unhappy.
And he is genuinely worried about you.
Get out here. Get out here. Come on, now, I'm not gonna go through this alone.
I think it's very hard for him to talk to you about all this.
I thought maybe you and I could talk, it would make Jonah feel a little better. Sam?
Talk to her, Dad. She's a doctor. Of what?
Her first name could be Doctor.
Please. Sam. Sam, it's his Christmas wish.
Okay. Okay. Good.
FIELDSTONE: Now, I know this is difficult. But how long ago did your wife die?
About a year and a half ago. Aw. Have you had any relationships?
No. No? Why not?
Uh, Marcia, or Dr. Fieldstone? Dr. Marcia.
SAM: I don't mean to be rude...
FIELDSTONE: And I don't want to invade your privacy...
Sure you do. SAM: Sure you do.
FIELDSTONE: Go on, Sam. I'm listening. Sam.
We had a pretty tough time at first.
But we're dealing with it.
And Jonah and I will get along just fine again, as soon as I break his radio.
[FIELDSTONE LAUGHING]
FIELDSTONE: I have no doubt that you're a wonderful father.
You know, you can tell a lot from a person's voice.
You certainly can.
But something must be missing if Jonah still feels that you're under a cloud.
Just a few questions: Are you sleeping at night?
JONAH: He doesn't sleep at all.
How do you know that? I live here, Dad.
Look, it's Christmas.
Maggie, my wife.
She really did it...
I mean, she loved... She made everything beautiful.
It's just tough this time of year.
Every kid needs a mother.
Could it be that you need someone just as much as Jonah does?
Yes. FIELDSTONE: Don't answer that.
Let's get into that right after these messages.
Sam, Jonah, don't go away.
If you've have just tuned in, we are talking to Sleepless in Seattle.
And we'll be right back after this break with your listener response.
What is she talking about?
This is when other people get to call in and dump on what you said.
Oh. Oh. Well, this is really fun. And helpful.
WOMAN: I bet he's tall with a cute butt.
WAITRESS 1: I bet he hasn't bathed in weeks and he stinks.
Harriet, shut up. Hi, can I help you? Tea, with the bag out.
You know, maybe I'll just go up to Seattle, give him a little gift for New Year's Eve.
WAITRESS 2: Yeah, you go on out there if you want to. But don't open his refrigerator.
They don't cover anything when they put it in the fridge
they just stick it in there and leave it till it walks out by itself.
LORETTA: All I'm saying is I wouldn't kick this guy out of my bed for eating crackers.
You know what I'm saying? Sixty five cents.
FIELDSTONE: Let's take a call before we get back to Sleepless.
ALL: Ooh! Tennessee, you are on the air.
WOMAN: Yes, I would just like to know where I could get this man's address.
Honey, get in line.
FIELDSTONE: Next caller, go ahead.
FIELDSTONE: If there was one question I was allowed to ask...
Oh, go ahead.
People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again.
Sam, do you think that there is someone out there you could love as much as your wife?
Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.
What are you going to do?
Well, I'm going to get out of bed every morning
and breathe in and out all day long.
And after a while I won't have to remind myself
to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out.
And then after a while I won't have to think about
how I had it great and perfect for a while.
FIELDSTONE: Sam, tell me what was so special about your wife.
SAM: Well, how long is your programme?
Oh, well, it was a million tiny, little things.
When you added them all up, it just meant we were supposed to be together.
And I knew it, I knew it the very first time I touched her.
It was like coming home, only to no home I'd ever known.
I was just taking her hand
to help her out of a car. And I knew it.
It was like magic. Magic.
FIELDSTONE: Well, folks, it's time to wrap it up. I'm Dr. Marcia Fieldstone in Chicago.
And to all my listeners, a magical and merry Christmas.
And to you, Sleepless in Seattle,
we hope you'll call again soon and let us know how it's going.
SAM: Oh, you can count on it.
[RAY CHARLES' "OVER THE RAINBOW" PLAYS]
♪ I know Somewhere over the rainbow ♪
♪ The blue birds fly ♪
♪ Birds fly ♪
♪ Over the rainbow ♪
♪ Why then, oh why can't I? ♪
MAN: This man sells the greatest soup you've ever eaten, and he is the meanest man in America.
I feel very strongly about this, Becky. It's not just about soup.
BECKY: Do it. What else?
New Year's Eve. Please don't make me write it.
Listen to this: "Phone service in the Chicago area was tied up for two hours Christmas Eve
when some kid calls a radio show and says that his dad needs a new wife."
Two thousand women called the station asking for the guy's number.
I heard it. This kid calls up and says, "My dad needs a wife."
And the shrink practically forces the guy and says, "Do you want to talk about it."
And he says, "No, as a matter of fact, I don't."
And then suddenly for no reason at all he start to talk
about how much he loved his wife
and how he just fell in love with her like he was one of those cows in Michigan.
What cows in Michigan?
It was on 60 Minutes over those cows that got zapped by stray voltage.
No one knows why. And maybe it was Wisconsin.
But, anyway, I was listening to him talk about how much he loved his wife
and suddenly I was crying.
It's like what happens when I watch those phone company ads.
I don't have to see the whole thing, just the part
where the daughter gives the mother the refrigerator with the big red bow.
Yes. The Polaroid commercial, two 5-year-olds at their grandfather's birthday party.
They're making the album. That kills me!
You should write something about this.
About what? BECKY: Whatever it is.
I tell you what it is: Two thousand women calling a radio station for a husband?
There are a lot of desperate women out there looking for love.
Especially over a certain age.
You know it's easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to get married over 40.
That is not true. That statistic is not true.
That's right, it's not true. But it feels true.
It feels true because it's true.
There is practically a whole book about how that statistic is not true.
Calm down, you brought it up. I did not, Wyatt.
Did you even read that book?
Did anybody read that book all the way through?
Are you two finished? Fine, now where were we?
If someone's a widower, why do they say that he was he "widowed"?
Why don't they say he was "widowered"?
I was just wondering.
BECKY: What was that about up there?
What was what? What's with you?
ANNIE: Nothing's with me.
BECKY: Something's with you.
What are you saying? Whatever it is, you can tell me.
Sleepless in Seattle?
That's what she called him on the show because he can't sleep.
And now 2000 women want his number. The guy could be a crackhead,
a transvestite, a flasher, a junkie, a chainsaw murderer
or someone really sick, someone like my Rick.
Actually, he sounded nice.
Oh? Oh, really?
Now we're getting down to it.
Please, Becky. I'm madly in love with Walter. He did the craziest thing the other night.
What was that?
Oh, it was so funny. We were hysterical. What was that?
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
You know, I was thinking, I've gotta go to Boston for the AAB convention, right?
And then I gotta visit Winston-Hughes about switching over our computers, but...
Why don't we meet in New York for Valentine's Day weekend.
Walter, I'd love to!
We can stay at the Plaza.
Ice skate in Central Park.
Register.
Yeah, for dishes, glasses, silver, everything.
[WALTER GRUNTS]
How about it?
I'll take you to Chinatown for dim sum.
Does it have wheat in it?
I don't think so.
♪ Dim sum, dim sum Dooby-doo-bop ♪
CROWD: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six
five, four, three, two, one.
Hey, Jonah, wake up, wake up. The ball's dropping.
["AULD LANG SYNE" PLAYS ON TV]
It's okay. Ohh. There we go.
Happy New Year.
Kiss Howard.
Good night, Howard.
[NAT KING COLE'S "STARDUST" PLAYING]
♪ Sometimes I wonder ♪
♪ Why I spend ♪
♪ The lonely nights ♪
♪ Dreaming of a song ♪
♪ The melody ♪
♪ Haunts my reverie ♪
♪ And I am once again with you ♪
♪ When our love was new ♪
♪ And each kiss an inspiration ♪
♪ But that was long ago ♪
♪Now my consolation ♪
♪ Is in the stardust of a song ♪
♪ Beside a garden wall ♪
♪ When stars are bright ♪
♪ You are in my arms ♪
♪ The nightingale ♪
♪ Tells his fairy tale ♪
♪ Of paradise where roses grew ♪♪
MAGGIE: Can I have half your beer?
Sure, go ahead.
What did I used to say?
"Here's looking at you"?
"Here's mud in your eye."
"Here's to us."
You used to say, "Here's to us."
Oh, babe.
I miss you so much it hurts.
What do you wanna do? Tell him when he gets here.
You want to tell him? You can tell him?
She's back. She has another idea.
No, no, no. I don't need this.
CLAIRE: Sam, I'm so glad you're here. How are you?
I heard you on the radio. I told everyone about it.
We already knew. How did you...?
Grace. The dispatcher?
Yeah. All of Seattle knows.
I was brushing my teeth and, suddenly, there you were.
I just couldn't believe my ears. I called my mother in Las Vegas.
I said, "Mother, turn on the radio. That's my architect."
You know, it's so nice when a man can express his feelings.
It's wonderful. I wish I could express my feelings.
So, Claire, is there a problem?
I was tossing and turning last night. You know what that's like, Sam.
Because I realise I'm never going to fit my platters
in that refrigerator we ordered.
And when I give parties, I always put in platters.
So I thought I would get the sub-zero refrigerator instead.
And the only problem... We have to redo all the cabinets.
We're gonna... We'll be into this wall.
That's bearing wall. SAM: That's a delay, Claire, of...
Two, three... Five, six...
Twelve weeks. I don't mind.
The important thing is to get it right.
Absolutely. Your words.
Oh, I've gotta rush. La décorateur calls.
Bye. Bye.
Well, this is fate. She's divorced, we don't wanna redo the cabinets,
and you need a wife. What do they call that, when everything intersects?
The Bermuda Triangle.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
MAN: And here's another one. Do you got room for one more here?
Here you go. Right there.
JONAH: Look at this, Dad. They're all for you.
Yes, sir. Here you go.
"Sleepless in Seattle," c/o Dr. Marcia Fieldstone.
If you're having trouble sleeping, you might wanna try
drinking a glass of water from the other side.
I thought that was for hiccups. Does it work for hiccups?
For hiccups, take a spoonful of sugar, hold it in your mouth for a minute.
Really?
Thank you.
SAM: What possessed you to give them our address?
They called and asked for it.
"Dear Sleepless in Seattle
you're the most attractive man I ever lay ears on." Pfft.
Wait, wait. They called?
How did they get our number? Oh, let me guess. You gave it to them.
You have to give them your number or they won't let you on the air.
"Dear Sleepless in Seattle. I live in Tulsa." Where's that?
It's in Oklahoma.
You know where Oklahoma is? Somewhere in the middle.
I'm not even gonna think about what they're not teaching you in school.
Yeah, somewhere in the middle. And, generally speaking
we should rule out anyone that doesn't live near here.
She's willing to fly anywhere.
She looks like my third-grade teacher. I hated my third-grade teacher.
Wait a minute. She is my third-grade teacher!
Aren't you gonna read any of these? No. This is not how it's done.
I'd much rather just see somebody I like
and get a feeling about them, ask them if they wanna have a drink.
Or a slice of pizza? Not dinner.
Not on the first date, because halfway through dinner, you could be really sorry.
Whereas, if it's just a drink
if you like them, you can always ask them to dinner.
If not, you can say, "Well, that was great," and then you go home.
You see what I mean?
I wonder if it still works this way.
It doesn't. They ask you. I'm starting to notice that.
If you get a new wife, I guess you'll have sex with her, huh?
I certainly hope so.
Will she scratch up your back?
What?
In movies, women always scratch up the man's back and screaming.
How do you know this? Jed's got cable.
Oh, Jed's got...
Hand me that towel behind you.
Thank you. I need it too.
Here, let me get you.
"Jed's got cable!" Come on.
[DR. JOHN'S "MAKIN' WHOOPEE" PLAYS]
♪ Another bride Another groom ♪
♪ Another sunny honeymoon ♪
♪ Another season, another reason ♪
♪ For makin' whoopee ♪♪
[WALTER SNORING]
[CARLY SIMON'S "IN THE WEE SMALL HOURS OF THE MORNING" PLAYS]
♪ When the sun is high In the afternoon sky ♪
♪ You can always find Something to do ♪
♪ But from dusk till dawn As the clock ticks on ♪
♪ Something happens to you ♪
♪ In the wee small hours Of the morning ♪
♪ While the whole wide world Is fast asleep ♪
♪ You lie awake ♪
♪ And think about the boy ♪
♪ And never ever think Of counting sheep ♪♪
MAN [OVER RADIO]: Welcome back to the best of Dr. Marcia Fieldstone
clinical psychologist and the friend you never had.
Remember Marooned in Miami?
WOMAN 1: He says he doesn't love me anymore.
FIELDSTONE: Why would you wanna be with someone who doesn't love you?
MAN: Disappointed in Denver.
WOMAN 2: Every time I come close to orgasm, he goes to make himself a sandwich.
FIELDSTONE: Why don't you make him a sandwich beforehand.
MAN: Sleepless in Seattle.
SAM: Well, I'm going to get out of bed every morning.
Breathe in and out all day long.
And then after a while, I won't have to remind myself
to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out.
And then after a while, I won't have to think about
how I had it great and perfect for a while.
FIELDSTONE: Sam, tell me what was so special about your wife?
SAM: Well, how long is your programme?
Oh, well, it was...
Oh, it was a million tiny, little things.
When you added them all up
it just meant that we were supposed to be together.
And I knew it.
I knew it the first time I touched her.
It was like coming home,
only to no home I'd ever known.
I was just taking her hand,
to help her out of a car.
And I knew it.
It was like
magic.
Well, I think I'm going crazy, Dennis. I really do. Are you happily married?
What? I mean...
Why did you get married? Was it trumpets and fireworks?
I got married because Betsy said we had to break up or get married. So we got married.
But when you first met her, did you believe
that she was the only person for you, that in some mystical, cosmic way
it was fated? Annie,
when you're attracted to someone, it means your subconscious
is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously.
What we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing they're a perfect match.
I don't even know him.
I'm having all of these fantasies about some man I've never even met,
who lives in Seattle!
It rains nine months of the year in Seattle.
I know. I know.
I do not wanna move to Seattle.
But what I really don't wanna do
is end up always wondering what might've happened
and knowing I could've done something. What do you think?
It's just cold feet, isn't it? Everybody panics before they get married.
I mean, didn't you? Yes, I did.
Yes, you did. Thank you very much, Dennis.
I feel so much better just having blown this off.
Anytime.
Sandy has a girlfriend, Glenda. She's a weightlifter.
Her neck isn't bigger than her head... No, I'm not asking you to set me up.
I don't need your help with that. I wanna know what it's like out there.
That's what I'm trying to tell you what women are looking for: Pecs and a cute butt.
Like, "He has the cutest butt." Yeah.
Where did I hear that recently? Everywhere.
You can't even turn on the news without hearing some babe
thought some guy's butt was cute.
Who the first woman to say this was, I don't know, but somehow it caught on.
So how's my butt?
Not bad. Really?
Yeah. Is it cute though?
I don't know. Are we grading on a curve?
When was the last time you were out there?
Uh... Uh, uh...
Jimmy Carter, 1978.
Things are a little different now.
First, you have to be friends. You have to like each other.
Then you neck. This could go on for years.
Then you have tests, then you get to do it with a condom.
The good news is you split the cheque.
I don't think I could let a woman pay for dinner.
Great! They'll throw a parade in your honour.
You'll be Man of the Year in Seattle Magazine.
Tiramisu.
What is tiramisu? You'll find out.
Well, what is it? You'll see.
Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her, and I'm not gonna know.
You'll love it.
Oh, this is gonna be tough.
Tough, tough. It's gonna be much tougher than I thought.
What about that decorator on the Bennett job?
Victoria? Yeah. She's perky.
Oh, no, I don't... What?
I'm far away from that. What? No.
I'm just assembling notes. I'm not... Notes.
How would I do that? What do you mean? Call her up.
You say, "Come, let's get together. We'll look at swatches."
Call her on the phone to say, "Let's look at swatches"?
Yeah, you know, colour schemes. She's not gonna see through that?
No, you don't do it like I do it. You do it in your own suave way.
Think Cary Grant.
Cary Grant would call up and say, "Come over and look at my swatches"?
How do you know? Maybe he did. He didn't do it in the movies.
Gunga Din? He didn't call...?
Gunga Din is not a swatch kind of movie.
Who knows what he did in real life. He did that with Dyan Cannon?
Yeah, sure.
[IMITATES CARY GRANT] "Hello, Dyan! Take a look at these swatches."
Jonah, I'm home!
Hey, Jonah!
Jonah?
Hey, Jonah.
Hi, Dad. This is Jessica.
Well, it's nice to meet you, Jessica.
JONAH: Dad, this is amazing.
If you play this backwards, it says "Paul is dead."
Yeah, yeah. I know.
How do you know?
Dad, could you shut the door?
Sure. Sure.
H and G.
Hi and goodbye.
[GENE AUTRY'S "BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN" PLAYS]
♪ I'm back in the saddle again ♪
♪ Out where a friend is a friend ♪
♪ Where the longhorn cattle feed ♪
♪ On the lowly gypsum weed ♪
♪ Back in the saddle again ♪
♪ Ridin' the range once more ♪
♪ Totin' my old.44 ♪
♪ Where you sleep out every night ♪
Hello, Victoria?
[CLEARS THROAT]
This is Sam Baldwin. I don't know if you remember me, but...
Oh, great.
Hi. Uh...
I was wondering if, uh...
If you would like to have a drink with me?
Dinner?
Dinner would be even better.
Friday would be great, yeah.
How...? I hear that's a good place.
7:30 would be fine.
And I'll, uh...
Okay, I'll meet you there. Okay. All right.
Um... So it's Friday at 7:30 for dinner.
Great.
Me too. Bye.
♪ Back in the saddle again ♪♪
[TYPEWRITER CLICKING]
Are you in love with him?
I'm not now.
Now those were the days when people knew how to be in love.
You're a basket case. They knew it.
Time, distance, nothing could separate them because they knew.
It was right. It was real. It was... It's a movie.
That's your problem. You don't wanna be in love.
You wanna be in love in a movie.
Read it to me.
"Dear Sleepless and Son. I've never written a letter like this in my life..."
That's what everyone writes at the beginning of letters to strangers.
I know that. You think I don't know that?
What about Walter? Oh, Walter.
Oh, I'd give anything to marry Walter.
He's so unexpected.
You think you can tell what he's like by just looking at him, but you can't.
I should write something in this about magic.
What? Something! What if I never meet him?
What if this man is my destiny, and I never meet him?
Your destiny can be your doom. Look at me and Rick.
"I want to meet you"...
GRANT: Top of the Empire State Building.
On the top of the Empire State Building.
Sunset, Valentine's Day.
I'll be in New York with Walter. I can squeeze it in.
I'll be in New York with Walter!
Do you wanna hear about destiny?
If I hadn't married Martin
I never would've bought the house with the dead tree.
On account of which I got divorced.
On account of which I hit a car and met Rick while buying a neck brace.
Wait a minute. You never told me you got a divorce because of a dead tree?
The tree man. You fell in love with the tree man?
I did not say "love." Did I say "love"?
This is my favourite part.
It's now or never.
Never is a frightening word.
We'd be fools to let happiness pass us by.
KERR: Uh-huh.
Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories.
We've already missed the spring. GRANT: Yes.
Men never get this movie.
I know.
JONAH: Mummy! Mummy!
Mummy! It's okay. It's okay.
I'm here. I'm coming. Dad!
It's all right. It's okay. It's okay.
Hey, it's all right. It's okay.
What was that about, huh? It was sinking.
What was? Our house.
There was water coming in all the windows.
Oh.
Well, it's okay now.
So, what should we do?
Your mother used to sing to you when you had bad dreams.
"Bye Bye Blackbird."
Yeah.
I miss her.
What do you think happens to someone after they die?
I don't know. Like, do you believe in heaven?
I never did.
Or the whole idea of an afterlife. But now, I don't know.
Because I have these dreams
about your mum.
Yeah. And we have long talks.
About you. How you're doing.
Which she sort of knows, but I tell her anyway.
So, what is that?
It's sort of an afterlife, isn't it?
I'm starting to forget her.
She could peel an apple
in one long, curly strip.
[JOE COCKER'S "BYE BYE BLACKBIRD" PLAYS]
The whole apple.
♪ Pack up all my cares and woes ♪
♪ Feeling low ♪
♪ Here I go ♪
♪ I said bye Bye ♪
I love you, Jonah.
I love you, Dad.
♪ Where somebody waits for me ♪
BECKY: See you tomorrow.
♪ Sugar sweet so is she ♪
♪ Bye I said bye ♪
♪ Bye Blackbird ♪
♪ No one seems to love ♪
♪ Or understand me ♪
♪ And all the hard luck stories ♪
♪ They keep handing me ♪
♪ Where somebody shines the light ♪
♪ I'm be coming on home tonight ♪
♪ Bye, bye I wanna say ♪
♪ Blackbird ♪
♪ Lord have mercy ♪
♪ Wait for me darling, yeah ♪♪
[PHONE BEEPING]
Laurie?
Hi, it's Annie.
Fine, fine. I'm fine.
Listen, I'm doing an article on call-in radio shows.
Do you know anyone who works for someone named Dr. Marcia Fieldstone?
I'm a writer for the Baltimore Sun, and a friend of Laurie Johnson's.
I'm doing a piece on how people handle bereavement.
And I understand you had a caller the other night, some guy from Seattle.
JONAH [ON MACHINE]: This is Jonah Baldwin. We're not in right now, but you can...
Baldwin.
[♪♪♪]
Architect.
Psst. SAM: Okay, Clarise.
I'm gonna be back either by midnight or 8:30, if disaster strikes.
Here's one for the both of us. "Sleepless and Son, Baltimore."
If there's any problem, here's the number to the paediatrician.
Here's a bottle of Ipecac if anybody drinks poison. It's right next to the juice glasses.
Fine. How do I look?
Great. Do I look okay? I look all right?
I look stupid. I look stupid. I look like I'm trying too hard.
I was gonna get a haircut, but I'd just look like I got a haircut.
This is a good letter, Dad. The heels on these are grotesque.
I look like I'm trying to be tall. Her name is Annie Reed.
SAM: Now I'm late. Bye. Dad, read this.
Read this!
"Sleepless and Son...
[MUMBLING]
I've been an excellent third baseman, and while we're on it, let's just say right now:
Brooks Robinson was the best third-base men ever.
It's important you agree with me on that because I'm from Baltimore."
She thinks Brooks Robinson is the greatest. So do you.
Everyone thinks so. It's a sign.
Come here.
I'll show you a sign. Here's a sign.
All right.
Where's Seattle?
Right. Where is Baltimore?
Ah! It's right there! Look!
One, two, three. There's, like, 26 states between here and there. Now, that's a sign.
I'm out of here. Goodbye! Good night! I love you.
Clarise, did you move your car?
Huh?
[SAM GRUMBLES]
Thank you, Derrick. You're welcome.
I'll have... White wine spritzer?
Yes. And you, sir?
I'm fine. Thank you.
Hi. Hi.
You look good. You look good yourself.
I thought you'd never call me.
You did? I really wanted you to.
And I thought you were never going to.
MAN: Excuse me, Mr. Baldwin? Yes.
There's a phone call for you.
Excuse me.
Thank you. Hello.
JONAH: Dad, can we go to New York City for Valentine's Day?
What? Annie Reed from Baltimore
wants to meet us at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day.
Jonah? What?
Have you fallen down? Are you bleeding?
Is Clarise there? Has she been strangled?
No. This is the only reason for this call?
If we book now, we can get an excursion fare.
Jessica's parents are travel agents... I'm not having this conversation.
We'll talk about it at a later time.
I can't believe this conversation has lasted this long. You go to bed.
Everything all right? Oh, yeah.
Do you have kids? No.
Do you want mine?
[LAUGHS]
I'll have an Absolut straight up, please.
[VICTORIA LAUGHING]
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Hey, hey! Put that down. Stop it!
There she is.
JONAH: Why is she bringing those groceries?
She's gonna cook us something
so be prepared. Hi, Sam. Thanks.
Thanks. And let me guess.
You must be Jonah. 864 00:57:10,