翻译: 张歪歪 Oguritei YZH sectumpempra
- 鸽子还在那儿 - 嗯 - Pigeon's still here? - Yeah.
不管我们做什么 他就是不走 No matter what we do, he just won't leave.
校对: 安迟华
问题是你在以警探的模式思考 The problem is you're thinking like detectives.
不 我绝对没有 No, I'm definitely not.
但你应该像鸟一样思考 When you should be thinking like a bird.
后期: 怪查理
20分钟后
这是拯救大兵鸽子行动 This is Operation: Saving Private Pigeon.
听我口令 我会把这个风扇打开 On my mark, I will turn on this fan,
压制: 怪查理
轻轻的把鸽子吓到东边去 gently startling our bird due east,
等它到档案盒大峡谷那 into the file box canyon,
就能看到Charles在拿着两个锅盖等着它 where he will encounter Charles holding two pot lids.
总监: 怪查理
他会用两个锅盖互相撞击 He'll bang them together,
逼迫大兵鸽子从这里飞向天花板 forcing Private Pigeon into the ceiling there
再从天花板的这个位置飞出来 and out of the ceiling there,
飞出来之后就能收到吓死人Rosa where he will be greeted by scary Rosa
手持可怕猫头鹰照片的问候 holding a scary picture of an owl.
它现在要遵循我们的游戏规则了 Now he's playing our game.
它会往左飞向用曲棍球棒支起来的 He'll veer left, into an upside down garbage can
大头朝下的垃圾桶 propped up by a hockey stick
上面系着一根绳子 绳子另一端是Gina and connected to a string that Gina is holding.
她一拉绳子 鸽子就会被困住 She pulls it, he is trapped,
然后Terry就能把它放飞自然了 and Terry releases him outside.
- Terry讨厌鸟类 - 好了 小朋友 - Terry hates birds. - Okay, little friend.
该回家找你妈妈了 Let's get you home to mama.
噢 天啊 它直直地朝着风扇飞去了 Oh, God. It flew right into the fan!
到处都是啊 鸽子弄得到处都是 It's everywhere! There's pigeon everywhere!
神烦警探
第五季 第十六集
电波诚译
- 嘿 Boyle - 嘿 Jake - Hey, Boyle. - Hey, Jake.
- 等等 你说什么 - 嘿 Jake - Wait, what? - Hey, Jake.
呃 Bill 你在这干什么 Ahh! Bill, what are you doing here?
你不是同意我们一年只见一次 I thought we agreed to meet only once a year
就只在万圣节盗窃的时候啊 for the Halloween Heist.
我是来这儿给你送每个季度营养爆弹的货源的 I'm here to deliver your quarterly NutriBoom shipment.
里面既有氨基酸减少剂 又有额外的氨基酸补给 It comes with both the amino acid reducer and extra amino acid,
这样你就能达到完美平衡了 so you get the perfect balance.
什么 我只不过是想贿赂你才花钱订的 What? No. I only signed up as a one-time payment bribe.
我是不会卖营养爆弹的 这明显就是个传销组织 I'm not selling NutriBoom. It's clearly a pyramid scheme.
首先 这不是传销组织 First off, it's not a pyramid scheme.
而是圆锥体分层多流向 It's a conical-tiered multi-flow-through
医学市场推广经营体 medical marketing entity.
其次 你已经签了合同 And secondly, you signed the contract.
"允许你每季度定期从我名下的卡中划钱 时间持续85年" "Permission to charge my card quarterly for the next 85 years."
这是在白纸上用白字儿写的 This is written in white ink on white paper.
这样印就是为了让你看不出来 They do it that way so you can't read it.
是吗 我看见了并且我要取消合同 Well, I did read it and I'm canceling the contract.
取消 要是这么容易就取消的话 Canceling? If it was that easy to get out,
我能在这骗我最亲的朋友吗 would I be here scamming my closest friends?
我们是你最亲的朋友吗 We're your closest friends?
随便吧 我是不会收货的 What--whatever, I'm not accepting the shipment.
Jake 给你点建议 放弃吧 Jake, piece of advice: just give up.
Boyle家的人都是这么干的 It's the Boyle way.
所以我们的家徽是一面白旗 It's why our family crest is a white flag.
这倒提醒我了 Charles That reminds me, Charles,
- 你的货在楼下 - 太好了 - your shipment's downstairs. - Great.
- 我去帮你拿上来 - Charles 不 - I'll help you bring it up. - Charles, no.
我们要去那间办公室然后努力争取 We're gonna go down to that office and fight this thing.
我需要这笔钱来度蜜月 I need that money for my honeymoon.
我的天啊 这关乎的是我的蜜月 Oh, my God. The honeymoon is on the line?
- 还有你的钱啊 - 嗯 - And your money. - Eh.
- 好 太好了 只要你跟我一起去就行 - 走吧 - Okay, great. Whatever gets you onboard. - Let's go.
- 为了蜜月 别无其他 - 好吧 - For the honeymoon and no other reason. - All right.
Santiago警长 Sergeant Santiago,
99分局警员的领导者 commander of the Nine-Nine's uniformed officers,
- 来此报道 - 嘿 - reporting for duty. - Hey!
我作为警长的一个命令 告诉我我很酷 My first order as Sergeant, tell me I look dope.
- 你很酷 - 你不会这样对着楼下的 - You look dope. - You won't be abusing
那些警员滥用职权的 对吧 your power like this with the officers downstairs, will you?
不 不 当然不会 No! No, of course not.
只不过是第一天上岗我很兴奋 I'm just excited for my first day.
嗯 我还记得我第一天做警长的时候 Yes, I remember my first day as a sergeant.
肯定记得 I bet.
我的叔叔Geoffrey被地铁撞残 My Uncle Geoffrey was struck by a subway and maimed.
- 噢 - 但是工作方面 还是很让人兴奋的 - Oh. - But the work aspect was quite exciting.
准备好做你第一次简报会议了吗 Are you ready for your first briefing?
是的 完全准备好了 Yes, I am fully prepared.
我想要立马给自己塑造一个领导者的形象 I just wanna establish myself as a leader right away.
只要自信 从容 立场坚定就可以了 Just be confident, deliberate and firm.
当你在停顿之后 You'll know you have their respect
还是能掌握他们的注意力时 when you can take a moment...
你就知道你获得他们的尊敬了 and still keep their attention.
- 太棒了 - 刚才那简直太引人入胜了 - Amazing. - That was captivating as hell.
我建议你从小的可达成的目标开始 My recommendation would be you start with a small, attainable goal--
那种你能很快 something you can accomplish quickly,
很完美并且公开达成的目标 perfectly and publicly.
做领导的最佳方法就是永远都要达成你的目标 The best way to lead is to always achieve all your goals.
酷 这压力一点也不大 Cool. That's not a ton of pressure.
嗯 你应该有压力 Well, it was meant to be.
压力是成功重要的一部分 Pressure's an important part of success.
记住 你现在代表了 Just remember, you represent
所有拉丁裔的女警察 all Latina policewomen right now.
谢谢 Thanks.
营养爆弹客户服务中心
你好 欢迎来到营养服务 Hello. Welcome to NutriServices.
我是Angela 今天能为您治疗点什么 I'm Angela. How can I heal you today?
嗨 Angela 瘆人的问候语 Hi, Angela. Creepy greeting.
也不是什么大事 就是有一点小混乱 So not a big deal, there was just a little bit of a mix-up
然后我们想要取消我们的营养合同 and we need to cancel our NutriConrtracts.
没问题 这种事经常发生的 Absolutely. It happens all the time.
你们只需要签几个名字就可以了 All you need to do is sign a few things.
啊 看Charles 这就是永不放弃的原因 Ah. See, Charles, that is why you never give up.
- 我还需要1万美元 - 不好意思 什么玩意 - I'll also need $10,000. - What's that? I'm sorry.
是为了付最后一次送货的钱 It's payment for the last shipment.
加上取消费 重新上货费 Plus the cancellation fee, plus the restocking fee
再加上一个名为懦夫附加费的费用 plus something we call a coward's charge.
总共是1万美元 And that comes to $10,000.
- 恭喜你们 - 谢谢你 - Congratulations. - Thank you.
我给你写张支票 小费算进去了吗 I'll write you a check. Is gratuity included?
Charles 不 Charles, no.
- Angela - 在呢 今天能为您治疗点什么 - Angela-- - Yes? How can I heal you today?
麻烦你别再说这句话了 Please stop saying that.
这样吧 你看起来是个人特别好的机器人 Look, you seem like a perfectly pleasant robot person,
但是我们绝对不会再多给你一毛钱了 but there's no way we're giving you any more money.
噢 不好意思 我没把话说清楚 Ohh. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
如果不付钱的话 您只要在这里签名就可以了 For the no payment option, you just need to sign here.
"营养核心报名表" "Enrollment in NutriCore"?
是我们的慈善机构 It's our charity organization.
"用接受创始人David Stovelman医剩的" "Pay off your contracts in labor hours"
"再教育时长来偿还您的合同款项" "under the teachings of founder Docter David Stovelman."
"医剩" 居然是剩不是生吗 "Docter" Is spelled with an E?
- 英国人就是这么拼的 - 这怎么可能 - It's the British spelling - That can't be right.
好了 听着 我本来不想这么做的 All right, look. I didn't wanna have to do this,
但是我们是纽约警察局的 but we're in the NYPD.
如果你不配合的话 那我们就只能 And if you don't cooperate, we'll have no choice
对你们公司进行书面投诉了 but to file a report against the company.
你们签了合同 合同是由法律效应的 You signed a contract, and that is binding.
没有人能得到特殊优待 警官 No one gets special treatment, Officer.
- 连Jay也不行 - 谁 - Not even Jay. - Who?
Jay Chandrasekhar 公司的明星代言人 Jay Chandrasekhar, their celebrity spokesman.
噢 不是吧 那个演<超级骑警>的人 Oh, no way. The guy from "Super Troopers"?
就是他 他还演过<酒国英雄榜> Yep. He was also in "Beerfest."
我现在必须得继续工作了 Now I have to get back to work,
请让我把你们转给我们的投诉专员 but allow me to introduce you to our complaint specialist.
这位是Phil 他是专门派来吓唬你们的 This is Phil. He's been assigned to intimidate you.
- 恭喜你们 - 谢谢你 - Congratulations. - Thank you!
Charles 别再谢谢她了 Charles, stop thanking her.
各位好 我是警长Amy Santiago Hello, squad. I am Sergeant Amy Santiago
我是你们的新长官 and I'm your new commanding officer.
我对大家寄予厚望 I have big plans for us,
但是我们应该从小事做起 but it's always best to start with something small
并要做到最好 and do it perfectly.
所以 So--
警长 我知道我们应该从哪开始 Sergeant, I know what we should start with.
- 噢 不好意思 你是警官 - Jennings 我叫Gary Jennings - Oh, I'm sorry, Officer-- - Jennings. Gary Jennings.
Jennings警官 我已经有了一个计划 Officer Jennings, I already have a plan.
好吧 是这样 你刚才停顿了一下 Okay, well, you just paused,
所以我以为 你想看我们有没有什么建议 so I thought you were looking for suggestions,
- 而我有很多 - 并没有 - which I have a lot of. - Nope.
并不是我停顿的原因 Not why I paused.
不管怎样 我们第一个要执行的命令是 Anyway, our first order of business will be
更新文件归档系统 所以 updating the filing system, so--
- 我们应该用上条形码 - 不 不 不 - We should use barcodes. - No, no, no, no.
不用突然插话进来 No need to jump in.
我已经有一个想要实施的系统了 I already have a system in mind.
好吧 只不过你不断地停顿 Okay, well you just keep stopping,
- 所以我以为 - 停顿是为了倒水 - so I thought-- - Ah--to pour water.
- 因为我很渴 - 了解 没问题 - Because I'm thirsty. - Got it. Great.
现在 我们讲讲这个问题的一些细节 Now, let's get into the details of this with--
我的天啊 Gary 你要干什么 Oh, my God! What, Gary?
你的水撒得到处都是 You're spilling water everywhere.
没错 我撒得到处都是 Yes, I am.
因为我们要执行的第一个任务是 Because our first order of business
把地板擦干净 is cleaning this floor.
Charles Charles 过来 Charles! Charles, come here.
我知道怎么把钱要回来了 I figured out how to get our money back.
我就知道你能拯救我们的蜜月 I knew you'd save our honeymoon.
- 是我的蜜月 - 随便吧 - My honeymoon. - Whatever.
是的 这么说营养爆弹是个大型金融骗局 对吧 Yeah, all right. So NutriBoom is a massive financial scam, right?
如果我们能证明 就能搞垮整个公司 If we can prove that, we could take down the whole company.
我不知道 你确定你想和他们对着干吗 Oh, I don't know. Are you sure you wanna take them on?
他们挺吓人的 They're pretty scary.
我是说 几年都没人见过总裁的老婆了 I mean, no one's seen the CEO's wife in years.
有人认为她已经被谋杀了 People think she's been murdered.
只是谣言而已 好吧 我的计划是这样 That's just a rumor. All right, here's the plan:
我们潜入他们的总部 把财务记录弄到手 we infiltrate their headquarters and get their financial records.
但是你可能会问 我们怎么进去呢 But how do we get in, you ask?
我们去参加今天的总裁俱乐部 By attending today's meeting of President's Club
都是上将级别的营养大师 地点是营养塔楼生活基地 Admiral Level NutriMasters at the NutriTower Life Base.
营养爆弹 您已达到上将等级
恭喜
我不知道 他们知道我们是警察 I don't know, they know we're cops,
我们不能随随便便走进去 we can't just walk in.
对 我们不能直接走进去 Correct. We can't walk right in,
但我们认识一个能进去的营养爆弹高层经销商 but we know someone who's a high-level NutriBoom distributor who can.
而且他和你长得一模一样 And he look exactly like you.
嗨 你俩 Hey, guys.
我不知道 你真觉得这样能行吗 I don't know. You really think it'll work?
Charles 这必须得行 Charles, it has to.
这是为了我们的蜜月 It's for our honeymoon.
你说了"我们的" You said "Our".
营养爆弹总部的会议两小时后开始 Okay, the meeting at NutriBoom HQ starts in two hours.
Charles 你扮作Bill进入 Charles, you're going as Bill
而我是你招的一个营养新人 and I'm going as one of your NutriCruits.
Bill 我要的东西你带来了吗 Bill, did you bring those things I asked for?
带来了 所有你要的我的东西都在这个包里 Yep, all of my belongings that you'll need are in this suitcase.
它为什么在振动 你的手机在里面吗 Why is it vibrating? Is your cell phone in here?
不在 No.
我确定不是性爱玩具 I'm sure it's not a sex toy.
好了 这些人非常熟悉Bill All right, these people really know Bill,
所以你得完全变成他 so you're gonna have to become him.
我不相信我会说出这种话 I can't believe I'm about to say this,
但Bill 跟我们谈谈你自己 but Bill, tell us all about yourself.
从我整个家族历史开始讲起吧 Let's start with my whole family history.
我还是个婴儿的时候被丢弃在操场上 I was abandoned at a playground as an infant.
然后我现在在这儿 And here I am.
这就是全部的故事啊 Oh. That was the whole thing.
有些可怜 但比记一堆名字容易多了 Well, sad. But easier than remembering a bunch of names.
好吧 告诉我们点别的 Okay, tell us more.
这是我所有的绰号 Now, here's a list of all the nicknames I go by.
大Bill 大Eric 大Drew 大Dave 超级愚蠢 Big Bill, Big Eric, Big Drew, Big Dave, Super Thick--
直接全都写下来给我们 Just write them all down for us.
所以我的肚脐眼的个数是 And that's why the number of belly buttons I have is...
- 两个 - 一个 - Two. - One.
- 没有 - 啊 - Zero. - Ahh.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hello. - Hello.
你好 Hello.
差不多了 现在这么想 Almost. Now think,
够了 好吧 现在我们来学习一下眨眼 That's it. Okay, now let's work on your wink.
只有你和我知道我们淘气的小秘密 only you and I know our naughty little secret.
好了 我觉得Boyle准备好了 Okay, I think Boyle's ready.
这样不行 朋友 That's a no-go, Amigo.
如果你真的想装作是我 If you really wanna pass as me,
你必须得学会我个人独有的颈部按摩技术 you're gonna need to learn my patented neck massage technique.
我觉得我学得够多了 I think I've learned enough.
对 我也觉得不需要这个了 Yeah, I don't really see that coming up.
感谢你的帮助 Bill Thanks for your help, Bill.
你的第一次简报会议开得怎么样 警长 So how did your first briefing go, Sergeant?
你是不是给警员们下了一个简单的指令 Did you give the squad a simple goal?
改进归档系统 Revamping the filing system.
聪明 听起来很容易 Mm, smart. Sounds very easy.
我猜会议开得很成功吧 I assume it's been a success?
是的 会议开得 Yes. It's been...
各种成功 all types of successes.
振奋人心 余音绕梁 Rousing, resounding...
轰动全场 smashing.
太好了 记住 失败 Oh, it's good to hear. Remember, failure...
是留给失败者的 is for failures.
幸好我不是失败者 Good thing I'm not a failure.
大家 我说谎了 我的简报会议搞得一团糟 Guys, I lied. My briefing was a total failure.
但你如此淡定地跟Holt警监说一切都很顺利 But you told Captain Holt it went great in such a normal way.
我是名糟糕的管理者 I'm a terrible manager.
我的小队里上有个超级自大无所不知的人 I've got this super eager know-it-all on my squad
他不停地提各种意见打乱了我的思路 who keeps derailing me with all his ideas
我什么事都做不了 and I can't get anything done.
啊 你碰上了一个Amy Aww, you got an Amy.
- 她碰上了Amy - 这挺正常的 - Oh, she's got an Amy. - It's pretty normal.
是啊 她碰着了一个和自己一样的人 对吧 Yeah, she got one of her, right?
像一只宠物 同类最了解同类 我猜 Like a pet. Takes one to know one, I guess.
不 他不是Amy No, he is not an Amy.
我跟Gary一点都不像 I am nothing like Gary.
首先 Gary和Amy名字一模一样 Uhh, first of all, Gary and Amy are the exact same name.
我问你 Let me ask you this:
他是不是已经给你发了九封指令传达会的后续邮件 did he already send you nine follow-up emails about the briefing?
不是 No.
是30封 It's 30.
你碰上了一个Amy You got an Amy.
朋友们 我觉得我能判断我的Gary是不是Amy Guys, I think I would know if my Gary was an Amy.
嗨 Gary 你在看什么呢 Hey, Gary. What you reading?
最新一期的<文具月刊> The new issue of "Stationery Monthly".
是 我是碰上了Amy Yeah, I have an Amy.
营养大楼生活基地
Bill 是你吗 Bill. Is that you?
对 是我 Bill 你好啊 Yes, it's me, Bill. Hello.
- 你好像有点不一样啊 - 没有 - You seem different. - Nope.
我还是原来那个Bill Hummertrout I'm still the same old Bill Hummertrout
在田纳西州的豆站(城市)长大 who grew up in Bean Station, Tennessee
还会刮腋毛 and shaves his armpits.
总之 和我招的新人打个招呼吧 Anyway, meet the new recruit I signed up.
新的营养新人 嘭 嘭 New NutriCruit? Boom, boom!
嘭 嘭 我叫Barry 全名圣人Barry Boom, boom. My name is Barry. St. Barry.
我等不及要进去解锁我的营养未来了 And I can't wait to get inside and unlock my NutriFuture.
让我进去 让我进去 让我进去 Let me in! Let me in! Let me in!
我喜欢你的活泼劲 嘭 嘭 I love your energy. Boom, boom!
我也喜欢你的活泼劲 嘭 嘭 I love your energy. Boom, boom!
好了 上去吧 Okay, get up there.
天啊 这里每个人都怪吓人的 Man, everybody here is so creepy.
是啊 那是Hitchcock和Scully吗 Yeah. Is that Hitchcock and Scully?
- 嘭 嘭 Bill - 嘭 嘭 - Boom, boom, Bill! - Boom, boom!
是啊 这就说得通了 Yeah, that tracks.
好了 我们走吧 All right, let's get a move on.
我在这儿待得越久 我越觉得害怕 The longer I stay here, the more horrified I get.
我知道 I know.
你看到这些David Stovelman老婆Debbie的海报了吗 Have you seen all these posters of David Stovelman's wife, Debbie?
"我快乐 健康 并且活着" "I'm happy healthy and alive."
噢 Debbie死了 Oh, Debbie dead.
Debbie死透了 Debbie real dead.
Bill说办公室在那个用绳子隔开的区域里面 Bill said that the offices are behind that roped-off area.
我们得把他们的注意力转向别处 We're gonna need a distraction.
禁止入内
就我了解的邪教看来 Well, if I know cults,
这场会议将以一段疯狂的鬼话连篇的视频开始 this meeting will start with an insanely over-the-top nonsense video.
你们好啊 上将们 Hello, Admirals.
请看屏幕 Please turn your eyes to the monitors
来自营养爆弹精英Jay Chandrasekhar的特殊问候 for a special hello from NutriBoom elite, Jay Chandrasekhar.
嘭 嘭 大家好啊 Boom, boom, everybody!
嘭 嘭 Jay Boom, boom, Jay!
这就分散了他们的注意力 And there's our distraction.
我第一次见到David Stovelman医剩的时候 When I first met Docter David Stovelman,
我并不知道自己的氨基酸含量会这么高 I had no idea my amino acids could be so high
或这么低 or so low.
伙计们 Ugh, guys.
Gary拉低了我的工作效率 Gary is killing my productivity.
Terry 你以前是怎么对付Amy的 Terry, how did you used to deal with having an Amy?
我什么都不用做 你一直都挺好的 I didn't have to do anything. You've always been great.
废话少说 Terry 我快绝望了 Cut the crap, Terry. I'm drowning.
好吧 当你变得很难对付的时候 Fine. When you got too difficult to deal with,
我就摆架子 I'd pull rank.
有用吗 Did that work?
没用 一次都没奏效 No. Not even once.
天哪 真是对不起 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
你总是可以等Gary找到他的Jake Well, you could always just wait for Gary to find his Jake
过了一段时间以后 and then eventually over time,
他们都变得只有九成难对付了 they'll each become 10% easier to deal with.
Gary永远不会找到真爱的 Gary will never find love.
没人会爱上他 He is unlovable.
Gina 我应该怎么做 Gina, what do I do?
不 我不知道怎么对付Amy No, I don't know how to deal with an Amy.
不过我那个"妈妈和宝贝"的课堂上有一个叫Wanda的女孩 But there is this girl Wanda in my Mommy & Me class.
她真的是很糟心 她对自己的孩子太上心了 She's such a pill. She's so into her baby
对别的孩子就很一般 就像 and not into the other babies and it's like,
噢 不错 挺好 恭喜 oh, cool, well, congrats.
你家孩子翻身比较早 Your baby rolled over early.
就 谁在乎啊 Like, who cares?
我没时间听这些 Gina I don't have time for this, Gina,
这就是你跟一个Amy型人物相处的办法 And that is how you deal with an Amy.
聊些她根本不感兴趣的事儿 You talk about something she's not interested in
把她聊走为止 until she walks away.
天 厉害了 Ohh, brilliant.
这些蠢信徒们 Stupid cult.
他们把财务记录 命名为"财务记录" They labeled their financial records "Financial records."
蠢货 Dummies.
哎呀 Jake 有个营养爆弹员工从十二点方向过来了 Uh-oh, Jake. We got a NutriBoomer approaching at 12:00.
这刚开始下载呢 The file just started downloading.
我们还有多少时间 How much time do we have?
不知道 不过他是个波点行走者 I don't know,but he's a polka dotter.
波点行走者 那是什么鬼啊 Polka Dotter? what does that mean?
八种走路方式类型中的一类 Of the eight types of walkers?
有波点式行走者 驱动式行走者 摆臂式行走者 踩点式行走者 Polka dotters, drivers, arm swingers, stompers
你不知道吗 you don't know about this?
没人知道这些玩意 Charles Nobody does, Charles.
你显然是刚看了些诡异的博客 You clearly just read some weird blog post.
首先 Popmango.Com不是什么诡异的博客 First of all, Popmango.Com is not a weird blog.
它蛮寓教于乐 It's infotainment.
其次 波点式行走者用脚尖走路 步伐跨度小 Secondly, polka dot walkers take short strides on their toes.
我现在不想听什么是波点式走法 I don't wanna learn about polka dotters right now.
赶紧出去截住他 Just get out there and stall him.
但是 啊啊 But--gah!
嗨 伙计 嘭 嘭 Hello, bud. Boom, boom.
嘭 嘭 Bill Boom, boom. Bill.
你在这后面干什么啊 What are you doing back here?
周末这一层是关闭的啊 This floor's closed on the weekend.
你知道我的 就抻抻腿 You know me, just gotta stretch my legs.
普拉提上得我真的很酸 I'm really sore from Pilates.
但是营养爆弹里不允许做普拉提啊 But NutriBoom doesn't allow Pilates.
那是伪科学 It's a pseudoscience.
啊对 不是 普拉提是我最近性关系伙伴的名字 Right, no. Pilates is the name of my most recent sexual partner.
嘭 嘭 Boom, boom!
嘭 嘭 你看起来有点奇怪 哥们 Boom, boom. You seem off, man.
你嗓音变了 Your voice is different,
也没有在吸吮你那标志性的棒棒糖 you're not sucking on your signature lollipop.
啊 可能我今天起床的位置不太对 Right.I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
你从什么时候在床上睡觉了 Since when do you sleep in a bed?
你怎么这么怪啊 Why are you being so weird?
你在这儿干什么 What are you doing back here?
我知道了 I know what's going on.
你是来让我给你做个我独家专有的按摩的 You're fishing for one of my patented neck massages,
是吧 aren't you?
- 这才是我认识的Bill嘛 - 如假包换 - There's the Bill I know. - Present and accounted for.
现在转个身 把脖子给我 Now turn around and gimme me that neck.
你不从前面做吗 You're not gonna do it from the front?
当然 就 那才是我的做法嘛 Well, of course. I mean, that's how I do it.
啊 这才像话啊 嘭 嘭 Oh, that's the good stuff. Boom, boom.
嘭 嘭 Boom, boom.
会计部
嘿 眼神交流呢 Hey, where's my eye contact?
我拿到文件了 I got the files.
跟你说过能行的 I told you it would work.
- 等会 你这是怎么了 - 他们排了一队 Jake - Wait, what's wrong? - They formed a line, Jake.
他们排了一队 They formed a line.
呃 这些文件里没什么不当行为的证据啊 Ugh, no evidence of wrongdoing in any of these files.
实至名归啊 Credit where credit is due,
营养爆弹很擅长犯罪 NutriBoom is good at criminal activity.
得 他们做奶昔做的真的很差啊 Well, they're terrible at making shakes.
是吧 唯一列出来的成分叫"不明物质" Right? The only listed ingredient is "Foreign substance."
这个口味叫"算是樱桃味" And the flavor is called "Almost Cherry."
结果我还欲罢不能 And I can't stop drinking it.
有意思了 六月十号有一个重大交易 This is interesting. There's a major transaction on June 10th.
我爸爸的生日 My dad's birthday!
你真觉得那是我认为有意思的事儿 You really think that's what I thought was interesting about it?
不知道啊 I don't know.
这是给ScepterCore的十万美元 It's a payment for 100 grand to ScepterCore.
这不是那个前海军陆战队员们工作的安保公司之一吗 Isn't that one of those black ops security firms that ex-SEALs worked for?
对 就是它 Yes, it is.
- 在六月十号 - 我爸爸的生日 - And on June 10th-- - My dad's birthday.
你是在试图让我记住你爸爸的生日吗 Are you just trying to get me to remember your dad's birthday now?
就 你打个电话也死不了人 I mean, it wouldn't kill you to call.
我们没时间谈这个 We don't have time to talk about this.
你爸爸的生日 正好就是 Your dad's birthday is the same day
去年Debbie Stovelman失踪的那一天 that Debbie Stovelman went missing last year.
我打赌 这个钱款就是能追踪到 I bet the payment is a paper trail
Stovelman谋害他老婆的线索 for the hit Stovelman took out on his wife.
这就变成谋杀案了 This just became a murder case.
或许 但是这也不够开始成立调查的 Maybe, but it's not enough to open an investigation.
对 不过这足够让Stovelman紧张了 Right, but it is enough to make Stovelman nervous.
我们必须逮着他 We just have to get to him.
别啊 我又要扮成Bill了吗 Oh, no. Do I have to go as Bill again?
不 不用担心 他分量不够 No, don't worry. He isn't big enough
没资格跟创立者面对面谈 to earn face time with the founder.
我们得把这个升到最高级别去 We have to take this to the highest level.
Jay Chandrasekhar Jay Chandrasekhar!
嘿 Gina 谢谢你哈 啥忙没帮上 Hey, Gina. Thanks for nothin'!
- 噢 不用客气 - 我说 啥忙都没帮上 - Oh, you're welcome. - I said, for nothin'.
你那套无聊法没有用 Your boring story didn't work.
我朋友Wanda 她特别喜欢海洋 So my friend Wanda, she just loves the oceans.
太平洋 大西洋 印度洋 The Pacific, the Atlantic, the Indian--
哦哦 她有喜欢的海峡吗 Ooh, ooh! What is her take on straits?
因为我超级爱白令海峡 Because I love the Bering.
我们聊水域聊了好几个小时 We talked about bodies of water for hours.
我去 这个Amy原力很强啊 Damn, the Force is strong with this Amy.
那个 我本来不打算告诉你的 Look, I wasn't gonna tell you this,
但是你应该试一试 but you should just do what I used to do
- 每次我需要逃离你的时候用的办法 - 你是怎么做的 - when I needed to escape you. - What did you do?
就 真的逃离 保持移动 Literally escape you. Always be on the move.
不要静止下来 像条鲨鱼一样 Never be static. Like a shark.
这样他就没法抓住你的注意力了 That way he can't catch your attention.
没错哎 我们就是这么办的 That's right! That is what we did.
- 你们都这么做的 - 嗯哼 - But you all did that? - Mm-hmm.
行吧 但是Rosa 你是怎么 Okay, but Rosa, how did you--
Rosa 她去哪 Rosa? W-where did she--
我去 你们可以啊 Damn, you guys are good.
他在那儿 你怎么知道他会在咖啡店的 There he is. How did you know he'd be at this coffee shop?
<美国周刊> 他总是在这儿被拍到 "US Weekly." He's pictured here all the time.
他出来了 好的 你看 He's coming out. All right, look,
这个人对于营养爆弹了解很深 this guy is into NutriBoom pretty deep.
但是如果我们给他施压够多 But if we apply enough pressure,
可能会让他开口 we may get him to crack.
收到 Copy that.
嗨 打扰一下 Hi, excuse me.
Chandrasekhar先生 我们想跟您谈一下营养爆弹的事儿 Mr. Chandrasekhar, we wanted to talk to you about NutriBoom.
可以啊 嘭 嘭 伙计们 All right!Boom, boom, guys.
嘭 嘭 Boom, boom!
- 我们是纽约警局的 - 我天 真的吗 - We're with the NYPD. - Oh, my God. Seriously?
你们得救救我 You guys have to save me.
- 你们能把我救出去吗 - 这咋回事 - Can you get me out? - What's that now?
营养爆弹是个传销骗局和邪教 NutriBoom is a scam and a cult.
他们毁了我的生活 They've ruined my life.
是吗 你在视频里看着很开心的 Really? You look so happy in the videos.
你要是知道他们对我做了什么 You'd pretend to be happy too
你也会假装开心的 if you knew what they did to me.
- 睾丸施虐 - 没错 - Testicular torture? - Yeah.
咿 Ohh.
听着 我们有理由相信David Stovelman Look,we have reason to believe David Stovelman
谋杀了他妻子 Debbie murdered his wife, Debbie.
没错 不然呢 Yeah, duh!
行了 Jay 冷静下来 All right, Jay.Try to remain calm, here.
抱歉 我真的是伤痕累累 Sorry.I'm just so scarred.
对 睾丸施虐留下的伤 Right,from the nard torture.
你看 我们有可以把David和他妻子的死亡联系起来的证据 Look, we have evidence that could tie David to his wife's death,
但是我们需要你帮我们去接触他 but we need your help to get to him
好 你们想让我做啥都行 Yeah, I'll do whatever you want.
你不知道他们有多可怕 You have no idea how terrible they are.
相信我 我知道 他们拿走了我一万块钱 Trust me, I do. They took ten grand from me.
那算啥 他们绑架了我的狗 Boo-hoo, they kidnapped my dog.
行吧 没必要在这比筹码 Okay, well, no need to compare stakes.
虽然我怀疑你的狗值不值一万块钱 Although I doubt your dog cost $10,000.
你不能用钱去衡量生命 You can't put a price on life.
你说的对 谢谢你的帮助 先生 You're absolutely right. Thank you so much for your help, sir.
- 警长 - 啊 - Sergeant? - Aah!
我有事情要跟你讲 I need to tell you something.
很好 迫不及待要听了 Great. Can't wait to hear it.
首先 你能把那玩意给我递过来吗 First, could you pass that thing over there?
当然 什么东西 我不知 Sure, yes. Oh, what thing? I don't--
警长 Sergeant?
- 警长 - 哦 嘿 - Sergeant! - Oh, hey.
警长 Sergeant?
好吧 Okay.
我们终于可以把这架子建起来了 Let's finally get these shelves up.
完美 Goes perfect.
哦 哦 不 Ohh! Oh, no.
哦 你在这里 Oh, there you are.
我之前想要告诉你别用这堵墙来着 I was trying to tell you not to use that wall.
这墙体遭到过浸水破坏 It has water damage.
了解了 Noted.
所以Stovelman会接上Jay去吃午餐 So Stovelman will pick up Jay and take him to lunch.
我们追踪他们 然后在他们打开话匣子放松的时候 We trail them, and then when they get comfortable,
用他妻子的情报打他个措手不及 ambush 'em with the intel about his wife.
哇哦 我不敢相信我们正在和名人一起执行诱捕行动 Wow. I can't believe we're working a sting operation with a celebrity.
我知道 I know.
我感觉我们就是<十一罗汉>那样 I feel like we're in "Oceans 11."
你就像是乔治·克鲁尼 You're such a Clooney.
- 哦 那我是埃利奥特·古尔德 - 哇哦 - Ooh, and I'm Elliot Gould. - Wow.
就直接跳过了皮特和达蒙了吗 嗯 Just skipped right over Pitt and Damon, huh?
- 我一直很听话 - 哦 不 - I've been good! - Oh, no!
- 这些是营养核心的人 - 他们在带走Jay - Those are NutriCore guys. - They're taking Jay!
这不是接人 这是劫人 It's not a pick up. It's a throw in.
- Jay在哪里 - 嘿 Bill - Where's Jay? - Hey, Bill.
- 嘭 嘭 - 别嘭了 - Boom, boom! - No boom, boom.
- 我不是Bill - 听着 我们是纽约警局的人 - I am not Bill. - Look, we're with the NYPD.
我们看到两个营养核心的暴徒绑架了Jay We saw two NutriCore thugs kidnap Jay
然后把他带到了这里 and bring him here.
- 现在他在哪里 - Bill 你是个警察 - Now where is he? - Bill, you're a cop!
- 不 我不是Bill - 如果你拒不合作 - No, I am not Bill! - If you don't cooperate,
我们会认为你是这起罪案的从犯 we'll consider you an accessory to this crime.
我不知道你说的罪案是什么意思 I don't know what you mean by crime.
Jay只是自愿的在地下室 Jay's just voluntarily hanging out with
和一些营养专家在一起会面而已 some nutrition specialists in the basement.
如果你愿意的话你可以自己去看 Bill You can see for yourself if you'd like, Bill.
我会自己去看的 另外我不是Bill I will see for myself, but I am not Bill.
- 这笑话说得好 Bill - 哦 - Good one, Bill. - Oh!
- Jay 哦我的天呐 - 嘭 嘭 伙计们 - Jay! Oh, my God. - Boom, boom, guys!
什么 我看到他们绑走了你 你还好吗 What? We saw them take you. Are you okay?
你们在说什么呢 What are you talking about?
- 哦 是面包车那事吗 - 没错 Jay 面包车那事 - Oh, the van thing? - Yeah, Jay. The van thing.
那些是我营养爆弹的朋友 Those are just my friends from NutriBoom.
他们很担心我的氨基酸水平 They were worried about my amino acid levels,
所以他们直接把我带到了这里然后给我 so they rushed me straight here to give me
服用了更多或者更少的剂量 more or less of them.
你为什么这么说话 Why are you talking like that?
他们对你做了什么 What did they do to you?
哦 我知道了 Oh, I see.
他们把你的狗还给你了 They gave you back your dog.
不 他们找到了我的狗 No, they found my dog.
它在公园里游荡了一年 He was wandering around a park for a year.
醒醒 伙计 打起精神来 Come on, man. Pull it together.
这些人是恶魔 想起来了吗 These people are evil, remember?
David Stovelman谋杀了他的老婆 David Stovelman murdered his wife.
你是在说我吗 You mean me?
- Debbie Stovelman - 嘭 嘭 - Debbie Stovelman. - Boom, boom.
她很快乐 健康 并且还活着 She is happy, healthy and alive.
嘿 警监 Hey, Captain.
关于那个墙上的洞 我很抱歉 Just wanted to say sorry about the hole in the wall.
我已经叫了维修人员 I've already called maintenance.
- 好的 还有别的事吗 - 天呐 你真棒 - Okay. Anything else? - God, you're good.
你完全看穿了我 You saw right through me.
我作为管理人员失职了 I failed as a manager.
我没法应对这一直缠着我热切过头的警员 I couldn't deal with this overeager officer who kept pestering me.
- 哦 你遇到了Amy - Amy - Ohh, you have an-- both: Amy.
是的 我知道 我们今天经历了很多这对话 Yes, I know. We've been through it a lot today.
好吧 你应该来找我的 Well, you should've come to me.
我很清楚变成你会是一个什么样子 I know exactly what it's like to be you.
你曾经也是一个Amy吗 You used to be an Amy?
不 我从来没有过你这个等级的不安全感 No, I never had your level of insecurity.
我说的是管理Amy I was referring to managing an Amy.
当然了 Of course.
好吧 我不是很确定还有什么法子可以试的吗 Well, I'm not sure there's anything left to try.
不管我做了什么 No matter what I did,
他一直会用他自己的想法 he just kept interrupting me
来不停地打断我 with all his own ideas.
- 那些是好想法吗 - 我不知道 - Were they good ideas? - I don't know.
我没有听 I didn't listen to them.
妈的 Damn.
你这么简单地就解决了这件事吗 Did you just solve it that easily?
没错 就是这样 你要知道 Yes, I did. You see,
管理Amy不是一件冗繁的事务 而是一个荣幸 managing Amy is not a chore, it's a pleasure.
- 因为一个Amy就是一件工具 - 我是件工具(混球)吗 - Because an Amy is a tool. - I'm a tool?
没错 你是件巨大的工具 Yes, you're a massive tool.
你很有用并且很有价值 You're useful and valuable.
当然了 Amy这样的人有时候会很吓人 Sure, an Amy can be intimidating sometimes
因为他们有很强烈的想法 because they have such strong ideas.
但是你应该多听听Amy这类人的话 But you should always listen to an Amy
因为他们只会让你变得更好 because they will only make you better.
至少 这是我的经验 At least, that's my experience.
谢谢你 长官 Thank you, sir.
Jay 你能让我们单独呆着吗 Jay, would you please excuse us.
我相信在楼上有一辆 I believe there's a brand new motorcycle
写着你名字的全新摩托车 with your name on it upstairs.
你们最棒了 You guys are the best.
谢谢你把我的狗带回来 Thanks for bringing my dog back.
它看上去就和原来的一模一样 He looks almost exactly the same.
- 得了吧 - 嘭 嘭 Jake - Come on. - Boom, boom, Jake.
- 嘭 嘭 Charles - 嘭 嘭 Jay - Boom, boom, Charles. - Boom, boom, Jay.
这里发生了什么 What's going on here?
我以为你被谋杀了 I thought you were murdered.
我从来没有死过 I was never dead.
那么付给ScepterCore的十万美金是用来干什么的 Then what was that 100k payment to ScepterCore for?
那是用来让你金蝉脱壳的 It was to get you off the grid.
因为联邦调查局在调查你 Because the Feds were investigating you.
你不能指控一个并不存在的人 You can't indict someone who doesn't exist.
所以你依旧在为营养爆弹工作吗 So you're still working for NutriBoom?
为它工作吗 我就是营养爆弹 Working for? I am NutriBoom.
听着 你们这烦人的调查是在浪费我的时间 Look, your annoying little crusade is wasting my time.
我想要你们离我和我的公司远点 I want you to leave me and my company alone.
这是不可能发生的 现在我知道你还活着 Not gonna happen. Now we know you're alive
那么我打赌联邦调查局将也会对此很感兴趣的 and I bet the Feds would be interested in knowing that, too.
也许如此 但事实依旧是 Maybe, but the fact remains,
我从没犯下过任何罪行 I haven't committed any crimes...
有任何人能证明的那种 that anyone can prove.
所以你可以碰碰运气去找联邦调查局 So you can try your luck with the Feds.
或者你可以拿着你的钱回去 Or you can get your money back
并且继续计划那昂贵的蜜月旅行 and go on that expensive honeymoon.
你怎么会知道我的蜜月旅行那事 How do you know about my honeymoon?
- 我无所不知 - 哦 真的吗 - I know everything. - Oh, really?
因为你并不知道我那大到飞起的道德指南针 Because you don't know about my big ass moral compass.
妈的 Damn!
我会去找联邦调查局 并且你也会下台的 I'm going to the Feds, and you're going down.
并且 你能告诉我们怎么出去吗 Also, can you tell us how to get out of here?
这地方真的就是个迷宫 This place is a real maze.
哦 Jennings警员 Oh, Officer Jennings?
我能和你聊一聊吗 Can I speak to you for a minute?
当然了 我最喜欢的就是 Of course. Nothing I like more
和上司的私人对话时间了 than one-on-one time with my boss.
哇哦 这就好像是在盯着面镜子一样 Wow, it's like staring in a mirror.
- 什么 - 没什么 - What? - Nothing.
听着 我想要道歉 Listen, I wanna apologize.
我无视了你的主意 这是个错误 I ignored your ideas and that was a mistake.
请告诉我 你对于档案系统所提出的的建议 Please, tell me your suggestions for the filing system.
那其实是5条建议和23条附属建议 It's actually five suggestions and 23 sub suggestions.
- 并且我 - 在简报会之后再提 - And I - After the briefing.
哦 收到 Ohh. Copy that.
那么 听好了 小队 All right, listen up, squad.
昨晚在公园的犯罪活动增加了 We had increased criminal activity in the park last night,
所以我们今天 将会把那里的巡逻量加倍 so we'll be doubling our patrols there today.
在会议结束后 我将会发布新的 After the meeting, I will be handing out new...
任务 assignments.
哦 我的天呐 我做到了 Oh, my God, I did it.
联邦调查局说我们的情报也许 The Feds said our intel could help them
会帮助他们终有一日拿下Stovelman maybe take down Stovelman someday,
但他们并不是抱很大希望 but they didn't sound hopeful.
- 好吧 我很高兴你做了正确的事 - 真的吗 - Well, I'm glad you did the right thing. - Really?
尽管这意味着我们会没有钱去度一个美妙的蜜月吗 Even though it means we now have no money for a decent honeymoon?
此时此刻很难不说一些老掉牙的话 It's hard not to say a really corny thing right now
就比如只要和你在一起 每天都是蜜月 about how every day's a honeymoon with you.
哦 尽管如此 技术角度上说 你刚刚就把它说出口了 Aww. Although, technically, you did just say it.
这对你来说很尴尬 Which is very embarrassing for you.
Jake 别吓到了 Jake, don't freak out.
那里有一个十分诡异的人在窥探我们 There's a really creepy guy spying on us.
哦 不 不 不 Oh, no, no, no.
那只是营养爆弹的Phil That's just Phil from NutriBoom.
从现在起 他将会吓唬我们 He'll be intimidating us from now on.
那是一家不顾一切要毁灭我们的邪恶公司 There's an evil corporation hell-bent on destroying us.
嗨 Phil 嘭 嘭 Hi, Phil! Boom, boom!
说"嘭 嘭" 亲爱的 Say, "Boom, boom," Darling.
嘭 嘭 Boom, boom.
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