(圣馬醫院來電)
(圣馬醫院)
- 讓開 - 安全 - Clear! - Clear!
(手術室)
誰準備好要去地球世界了 Who's ready for Earth World?!
媽 我找不到我的斜胸包 我的斜胸包在哪里 Moms, I can't find my cross-body bag! Where's my cross-body bag?
別再說“斜胸包”了 在你身上只不過是高一點的霹靂腰包 Stop saying "cross-body bag." On you, it's a fanny pack up higher.
太空貝絲 你來開車 我現在沒有很想開車 Space Beth, you're driving. I'm low on wanting to drive.
你們其中一位 能快速幫我做個三明治嗎 Would one of you mind making me a quick sandwich?
主題樂園的食物 會讓我的糞便變得很奇怪 You know theme park food gives me interesting stools.
察言觀色一下 我們不去 Read the room. We're not going.
- 看看我們 - 不行 你們一定要來 -Look at us. -No, you got to come.
那里完全是一團糟 It's an absolute train wreck.
那個人從來沒去過地球 但他很喜歡地球 This dude, he's never been to Earth, but he loves it,
他又很不擅長設計主題樂園 and he sucks at making theme parks.
- 我們說了不要 - 我們說了不要 - We said fucking no! - We said fucking no!
好吧 但沒人想看貝絲的冒險 Alright. Fine. But nobody wants to see a Beths adventure.
我以為復制我們 應該要讓我們快樂才對 I thought cloning was supposed to make us happy.
我恨我的人生 我知道你一定也恨你的人生 I hate my life. And I know you have to hate yours.
- 嘿 - 抱歉 我在車上就開喝了 - Hey! - Sorry. I started drinking in the car.
片名:瑞克和莫蒂
我們為什么這么悲慘 不是因為杰里 Why are we miserable? It's not Jerry.
對 還可以更糟 Yeah, it could be worse.
我們也有可能跟 佩普羅森菲爾德結婚 I mean, we could have married Pep Rosenfeld.
我的天啊 我都忘了他 Oh, my God. I forgot about him.
- 他死于那件事 對吧 - 911事件 對 -Oh, he died in that thing, right? -9-11, yeah.
我們不能把一切 都怪到爸頭上 對吧 We can't just put it all on Dad, right?
- 我們已經怪夠他了 - “我爸爸很糟” -We're done with that guy. -"I had a bad dad."
閉嘴 去寫成一本書吧 Shut up. Write a book about it.
我只是受夠了 我們為了生存得做的一切 I'm just so tired of all the shit we have to do to live.
你拋下了所有東西 You abandoned all your shit.
太空有更多東西 There is so much more shit in space!
我們上次感到快樂是什么時候 When was the last time we were happy?
真正的快樂 Truly happy?
我們小時候還蠻快樂的 Felt pretty good when we were kids.
我的天啊 真希望我能回到年輕的時候 Oh, my God, I wish I could be young again.
這種愿望實現起來 一定會跟想象中不一樣 That kind of wish never goes the way you want.
話雖如此... That being said...
你為什么有減齡機 Why do you have a de-aging machine?
我在把獵物帶回去的時候 會把他們變成小孩 When I'm bringing in bounties, I change 'em into kids.
如果擺得好 這輛車可以載十個小孩 This car fits ten kids if you pack 'em right.
聽起來很有效率 Sounds efficient.
但應付十個小孩值得嗎 Is that... worth dealing with ten kids?
不 我還會對他們下藥 Oh, no, I drug them too.
等等 我的衣服會變超大嗎 Wait, will my clothes be super huge or--
不... Oh, no. No, no, no.
這種先進科技簡直跟魔法沒兩樣 Technology this advanced is indistinguishable from magic.
(十歲)
我的臉 我的皮膚 My face... My skin!
我什么都看得到 I can see everything!
我嘴里的味道好干凈 My mouth tastes so clean!
天啊 我的指關節變正常了 不會痛 Whoa, my knuckles work! No pain!
你看起來糟透了 You look like shit.
等等 不 快回來 Wait, no! Come back here!
做好準備 地球世界簡直一團亂 Get ready. Earth World is a mess.
缺乏創意一致性 No creative consistency.
我上次來的時候 有一整個設施是以波布為主題 Last time I was here, they had a whole ride dedicated to Pol Pot.
而且我們還有可能少顆眼球 There's a non-zero chance you'll lose an eye.
我簽切結書的時候 沒想到會是這種感覺 Oh, that wasn't the vibe I got from the waivers.
- 切結書 - 對 網站上的 - Waivers? - Yeah, from the website.
網站 Website?!
“歡迎蒞臨地球世界” Welcome to Earth World!
“我是狗蛋蛋博士” It's me, Dr. Dogballs!
- “我太愛地球了” - 什么鬼 What the hell?!
“所以我就學地球人 蓋了一間主題樂園” I love Earth so much I made a theme park, just like they would on Earth!
是啊 Yeah.
這看起來確實很糟 Wow, I guess this does seem like it sucks.
真幽默 外公 你還是會諷刺性喜歡東西嗎 Good one, Grandpa. You still like stuff ironically?
不是 之前是真的糟到很糟 糟到很棒 No, it used to be bad bad, which was good.
之前有個設施叫“小小黑死病” There used to be a ride called "It's a Small Black Death"!
看來他們只是有一間普通的Gap Looks like they've just got a regular GAP.
瑞克 你是不是 之前來的時候喝醉了 Rick, were you just drunk when you were here?
我現在也喝醉了 I'm drunk now!
那些生銹的釘子呢 皰疹家庭滑水道呢 Where's all the rusty nails? Where's the Herpes Family Flume?
要來根發光熱狗嗎 Light-up corn dog?
離我遠一點 Get the fuck away from me!
我好期待能跟... Can't wait to get a photo taken with...
瑪麗居里合照 Marie Curie?
那好像是約翰傳奇 I think that's John Legend?
或許他們會挑約翰傳奇 Maybe they picked John Legend
是因為他的名字讓人覺得他很重要 'cause his name implies he's really important.
瑞克 你覺得我們該怎么玩 Rick, how were you thinking we should enjoy this?
天啊 他們有總統寵物廳 Wow, they have a Hall of Presidential Pets?
像那樣嗎 Like that?
你們覺得我能見到克林頓的貓嗎 Do you think I can meet Socks?
我不會罵得太重 因為我知道你會懲罰我 I'm not gonna shit on it too hard 'cause I know you'd punish me,
但這不就只是1990年代中期的 戶外購物中心嗎 but isn't this just a mid-'90s outdoor mall?
不好意思 My bad!
我的天啊 你是真的地球人 對吧 Oh, my God! You're a real Earth person, aren't you?
- 從地球來的 - 對 - From Earth?! - Yeah.
我好震撼 你是真正的人類 I'm, like, starstruck. A real human!
你好臭 Ooh, you smell nasty.
- 這是好事嗎 - 當然 - Oh. I mean, is that good? - Absolutely.
我很高興能看到這個樂園里 Well, it's nice to see something in this park
有仍然骯臟又真實的東西 still grimy and real.
那我就臟得不得了 Then I'm as nasty as they come.
- 你敢相信我外公超愛這里嗎 - 真遜 -Can you believe my grandpa loves this place? -Lame.
貝絲 你去哪了 貝絲 Beth! Where'd you go? Beth?
貝絲 我希望你玩得開心 Beth, I want you to have fun,
但我得知道你人在哪里 but I need to know where you're having it.
- 我找到了一只負鼠 - 天啊 - I found a possum! - Oh, my God!
不要 我不要變老 No! I don't wanna be old!
你全身充滿了痛楚卻不自知 You're in so much pain, and you don't even know it!
- 我的天啊 - 真抱歉 - Oh, my God. - I'm sorry.
我忘了我們小時候有多瘋 I forgot just how insane we were as a kid.
我不該提這個議的 I shouldn't have pitched this.
你一定要試試看 You have got to try it.
我在這里 I'm over here!
好 親愛的 你只能再玩兩分鐘 Okay, sweetie, this is your two-minute warning.
之后就要換回來了 It's almost time to switch back.
那你得先找到我 You got to find me first!
太慢了 再試一次 Too slow! Try again!
好 我們走 夠了 我是認真的 Alright, let's go. That's enough. I'm serious.
好 貝絲 Alright, Beth.
驚喜 Surprise!
你中計了 You done been got!
動手啊 Do it.
(10歲)
這間廁所竟然也是設施 That bathroom was a ride too?!
我褲子都脫了 我真的很想上廁所 I had my pants down and everything! I really do need to go.
- 你就尿在樹叢里吧 - 我發誓之前真的比較有趣 - Just go in a bush. - I swear it used to be funnier than this.
不要轉過來 Don't turn around.
我只是蹲著而已 I'm squatting.
喂 你不能用這種方式在這里尿尿 Hey, you can't go... there like that.
之前我們想要尿在哪里都可以 You used to be able to piss wherever you wanted to.
跟地球一樣 Like on Earth.
瑞克外公 你就死心吧 Grandpa Rick, take the L.
我們去找莫蒂 然后回家吧 Let's get Morty and go home.
好 這地方變得太糟了 Yeah, this place is fucked.
企業收購 董事會核可更動 Corporate takeover. Board-approved changes.
喬布斯死了之后 iPhone十年都沒變 Steve Jobs dies, and we get ten years of the same iPhone.
不對 建造這個樂園的人還活著 Oh, no, the guy who made the park is still alive.
- 是嗎 - 對 - He is? - Yeah.
有傳言說他還住在這里 在地底下的隧道里 Rumor is, he still lives here. Down in the tunnels.
(演員專屬出入口)
嘿 夏夏 你喜歡違反規定嗎 Hey, Sum-Sum, You like breaking rules.
你有帶搖頭丸嗎 Ooh, did you bring molly?
尿快一點 杰里 Hurry it up, Jerry!
我得這樣尿尿都是你害的 It's your fault I have to go like this.
你把我變成垃圾桶的時候 毀掉了我的尿道 You destroyed my urethra when you turned me into a trash can.
跟我來 Follow me.
我當然有帶搖頭丸 And of course I brought molly.
“如果你才剛加入我們 我們...” If you're just joining us tonight, we have a--
“天啊 爆炸了” Oh, my God. It exploded.
“天啊 那些太空人” Oh, God. All those astronauts.
- “這是史上最嚴重的爆炸” - 好好笑 - It's worse than any explosion before it! - This is hilarious.
喂 你看這個 Hey, yo. Check this out.
真棒 Awesome.
大人絕對進不來 No adult is getting inside.
還有 別坐那張椅子 Also, don't sit on that chair.
- 坐墊是刀子 - 總得要有人來坐 - The cushion is knives. - Somebody's got to sit on it!
應該叫基納來坐 Gene should sit on it.
看我的 Bam!
很好 Nice!
你們兩位好 Hey there, girls.
我猜你們其中一位是隔壁的貝絲 I'm guessing one of you is Beth from next door,
另一位是她的復制體 and one of you is her... clone,
但你們兩個都變成小女孩了 but you're both little girls now?
我見多了 這其實還不算太奇怪 Not that strange, given what I've seen.
- 你難道是科學家嗎 - 來坐我們的椅子 - What are you, a scientist? - Come sit in our chair.
照這個臨時魚叉的設計看來 Well, based on the design of your makeshift harpoon,
你們兩個好像正在大玩特玩 seems like you girls are on a bit of a spree.
我覺得我好像會落入一些陷阱 Feel like I'm gonna be walking into some booby traps.
不如我泡熱可可給你們喝吧 Let's have some cocoa instead.
“我泡熱可可給你們喝” "Let's have some cocoa."
“我離婚了” "I'm divorced."
嘿 這樣很沒禮貌 而且嚴格來說不是事實 Hey! That is cruel and technically untrue.
但你們的心智被更動過 所以我知道你們不是真心的 But you're in an altered headspace, so I know you don't mean it.
你們兩個先乖乖坐著 我去拿可可粉 Why don't you two sit tight? I'll get the Swiss Miss.
我們走吧 Let's go.
- 要去哪里 - 去獵捕他 - Go where? - Go hunt him.
除非你會怕 Unless you're scared.
我什么都不怕 我們進到墻壁里吧 I'm not scared of anything. Let's get in the walls.
我們這張照片蠻好看的 Wow, this is a good photo of us.
多講點話 我能聞到你正在腐爛的早餐 Keep talking. I can smell your rotting breakfast.
- 天啊 - 你的毛發好夸張 - Oh, God. - Your hairs are insane.
全身都有 我可以摸摸看嗎 They're all over your body. Can I touch them?
說個人類會講的話 用你的臭身體口音念“購物清單” Say a human phrase. Say "grocery list" in that stinkbody accent.
- 你是指我的聲音嗎 - 對 - You mean my voice? - Yes!
- “購物清單” - 我好喜歡你充滿牙齒的大洞 - "Grocery list." - I love your tooth-filled big hole
還有你臉上其他比較不常用到的洞 and the other less-used holes on your face.
好喔 Okay...
我覺得你好像不是喜歡我這個人 I'm getting the feeling that you're not into me
而是喜歡跟任何人類在一起 as much as you like the idea of being with any human.
如果我還是很想要 那有關系嗎 Does it matter if I'm still turned on?
沒有 應該沒關系 No, I guess it doesn't.
我想要把你濕濕的肌肉放進我嘴里 I want to get your wet muscle in my mouth.
你是指我的舌頭嗎 You mean my tongue?
我不在乎那叫什么 I don't care what it's called.
瑞克 我知道你玩得不開心 Rick, I know you're having a bad time,
但我好像在上面看到了 一間潘娜拉面包店 but I think I saw a Panera up there
或許能改變你的看法 that might change your tune.
潘娜拉面包店 A Panera?!
- 對 - 給我閉嘴 - Yeah! - Shut up.
這是凱文科斯特納嗎 等等 我為什么會知道Is that Kevin Costner? Wait, why do I know that?
爸爸做了新的型號嗎 Did Father make new models?
我不認得你們三位 I don't recognize you three.
不是 我是老版蓋菲里 No, I'm... Old Guy Fieri,
這位是黛安娜王妃 他是羅杰斯先生 this is Princess Diana, and he's Mr. Rogers.
或是布雷特卡瓦諾 Or Brett Kavanaugh.
我也不會知道 我沒有離開過這座樂園 I wouldn't know. I never left this park.
我們也是 我們在找狗蛋蛋 Us too. We're looking for Dogballs.
他住在下面 He lives below.
狗蛋蛋博士 兄弟 Dr. Dogballs. My man!
人類 真正的人類 Humans! Real humans!
建造了地球世界的瘋狂天才 The mad genius who built Earth World!
沒人像我這么愛地球 Nobody loves Earth as much as me.
車子 肌肉海灘 不動產稅 Car, Muscle Beach, property taxes.
但我在完成自己的完美愿景前 But before I could complete my perfect vision,
被發現電腦上有一些不該有的文件 I was caught with incriminating files on my computer,
董事會就把我綁上了鎖鏈 and the board chained me up.
我會看動物色情片 那是我的私事 I watch animal pornography. It's my business.
是人跟動物的嗎 Like with people and animals?
不是 是只有動物 變態 No, just the animals, sicko.
原本的地球世界超棒的 The original Earth World was incredible.
我有一次還因為吃糖果 得了鏈球菌咽喉炎 I got strep from a candy once!
你當然會這么想 你是人類 Of course you feel that way. You're a human being.
你知道地球主題樂園應該是什么樣子 You know what Earth theme parks are supposed to be like.
如果可以的話 我真想帶你們去死區 I'd take you to the dead zone if I could
讓你們看看之前的設施 and show you some of the old delights.
但他們不讓我離開辦公室 But they won't let me leave my office.
他們不肯 但我可以帶你離開 They won't, but I will.
歡迎來到真正的地球世界 Welcome to the real Earth World!
這確實比較接近我印象中的樣子 I guess this is closer to how I remember it.
我踩到生銹的釘子了 I stepped on a rusty nail!
至少杰里受傷了 At least Jerry got hurt.
多加棉花糖的熱可可好了 Hot cocoa with extra marshmallows!
希望你們吃得下多的棉花糖 Hope you got room for extra marshmallows!
他竟然想用棉花糖控制我們 Look at him holding marshmallows over our heads.
好像那是某種權力一樣 Like that's some kind of power.
我確實很喜歡棉花糖 I do like marshmallows.
他不能決定我們能不能吃棉花糖 He doesn't decide about our marshmallows!
你真該上去砍他 You should go up there and cut him.
你才該上去砍他 You should cut him.
我們該砍哪里 What should we cut?
我不知道 就亂刺一通 I don't know. Just start slashing!
天啊...我的腳踝 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- 我需要看醫生 - 這下好了 My ankles! I need a doctor!
現在我們得照顧他了 Great. Now we have to take care of him.
我不想照顧任何人 I don't want to take care of anybody!
- 你負責照顧他 - 這是你的點子 - You take care of him! - It was your idea!
- 我不要 我先 - 我不要 我先 - Not it! Jinx! - Not it! Jinx!
- 你們好像割斷我的動脈了 - 是她割的 她是瘋子 - I think you hit an artery! - She did it! She's a psycho.
你才是瘋子 You're the psycho!
我親眼看到 你在扯掉鳥的翅膀后把它吃掉 I watched you eat a bird! After you tore off its wings!
我就讓你見識一下誰才是瘋子 I'll show you who's psycho!!
快逃吧 幼稚鬼 Yeah, run away, you baby!
記得肯定自己 基納 Remember your affirmations, Gene.
你值得活下來 You deserve to live.
好吧 Well,
我至今做過的所有決定 竟然讓我走到了這一步 somehow every decision I've ever made has led to this.
(永遠的敵人)
滾出我的樹屋 Get out of my tree house!
滾出我的院子 Get out of my yard!
“偵測到火災 滅火中” Fire detected. Extinguishing.
加油 基納 你不能就這樣死去... Come on, Gene. Not like this. Not like this!
嘿 Siri 幫我打緊急電話 Hey, Siri, call 911! Countdown to calling 911.
“倒數結束后將會報案 十 九 八...” Calling 911 in 10, 9, 8,
- 為什么需要倒數 - “七...” - Why does it need a countdown?! - 7--
“地球的第二次世界大戰 是用聯合收割機和收割機打出來的” Earth's World War II was fought with combines and harvesters,
“各位即將親眼見證” and you're about to witness it firsthand.
天啊 那是通電的電線嗎 Oh, God, is that a live wire?
這里的電都沒有接地 None of the electricity is grounded here.
該死 Shit.
我得趕在基納 用其他電話打緊急電話前回家一趟 I got to get home before Gene calls 911 from any other phone but his own.
這是能把頭放大的道具 讓你們能走原路離開 The head thing so you can get out the way you came.
等等 你要走了 我以為你很喜歡這里 Wait, you're leaving? I thought you loved this place.
我也不知道 我想莫蒂說得沒錯 Yeah, I don't know. I guess Morty was right.
因為水里有麻疹和蛇 我就應該要覺得很酷嗎 Am I, like, supposed to think it's cool that there's measles in the water and, like, snakes?
不了 你們好好玩吧 Nah. You guys have fun.
該死 Oh, shit!
我們走吧 各位 We're done here, boys.
瑞克 你那兩個女兒不是好人 Rick, your girls. They're not good people.
謝謝你 Thank... you.
我才離開兩小時而已 I've only been gone for two hours!
嘿 兩位貝絲 看來你們應該是回到童年 Hey, Beths! Deducing here that you've been huffing childhood
又玩得太開心 and have overdosed on fun.
好痛 Ouch.
(貝絲最棒)
我要殺了你 I'm gonna kill you!
我要先殺了你 Well, I'm gonna kill you first!
該死 Damn it!
夠了 到此為止 That's it. We're done.
你真的有病 You dick!
別再演“小鬼當家”了 Enough Home Alone-ing.
該死 Goddamn it!
我復制你就是為了解決這個問題 而不是讓你加倍煩人 I cloned you to fix this, not make you twice as annoying.
說真的 天啊 Oh, I can't tell you. Oh, my God!
我一直苦苦等待 希望有人能看到我的愿景 I've waited so long for someone to see my vision.
果然還得是真人才行 And of course it was real humans!
你們是最完美的觀眾 You're the perfect audience for this.
我最美好的時刻 My finest moment.
天啊 Oh, shit.
那是什么 What's that?
我美麗的創作 My beautiful creations.
他們會毀掉樂園 They're going to destroy the park.
天啊 Oh, God.
我以為這些是穿了特殊服裝的人 I thought they were people in costumes,
但特殊服裝就是人 but the costumes are the people?
人就是特殊服裝 The people are the costumes?!
所有地球主題樂園 都會以同樣的方式結束 All Earth theme parks end the same way.
侏羅紀公園 西方極樂園 就連主題樂園里的設施 Jurassic Park, Westworld, even the rides inside the theme parks
也都一直發生一樣的事 tell the same story.
原本在搭船 結果突然就繞到了瀑布去 You're on a boat ride when suddenly you take a detour to a waterfall,
然后又進到了海盜巢穴 被逼著幫人口交才能保命 and now you're in a pirate's den, forced to suck dick to stay alive!
- 你為什么要這么做 - 要對地球致敬 - Why would you do this? - The greatest tribute to Earth
就得讓主題樂園因混亂而毀滅 is a theme park that ends in chaos.
出去吧 享受自由吧 我的寶貝們 Be free! Be free, my lovelies!
我想吃肉 吃肉 Hungry for meat. Eat meat!
全吃掉吧 Take it all!
- 另一邊也要吃 - 該死 爸 - Take the other one! - Shit! Dad!
- 全吃掉吧... - 融入他們 走路要搖搖晃晃 - Take it! Take it all! - Blend in. Stumble around!
你喜歡這樣嗎 Yeah, you like that?
拉不拉多貴賓狗 Labradoodle.
- 椰奶 - 再多講點人類的東西 - Coconut milk. - More human stuff.
大聯盟口香糖 Big League Chew.
說些種族歧視的話 Ooh! Say something racist.
- 什么 - 拜托 - What? - C'mon,
你是人類 這是你們的特色 you're human, it's your whole thing.
意大利人做的披薩都很好吃 Italians make pretty good pizza?
不對 要帶有仇恨 你這惡心的小蟲 No, do it hateful, you disgusting little bug.
- 你有聽到怪聲嗎 - 你現在還想假裝有緊急事件 - Did you hear that? - Now you're pretending there's some kind of emergency?
我對你展露了脆弱的一面 I tried to be vulnerable with you.
你如果覺得我不漂亮就直說 If you don't think I'm pretty, just say so.
對不起 但我不只是某種性幻想 I'm sorry, but I'm not just some sexual fantasy,
- 我是真真實實的人 - 少來了 - I'm a whole person. - Come on!
種族歧視根本就是你們發明的 You guys basically invented racism.
我如果想跟好東西做愛 我就不會來地球世界了 If I wanted to fuck something good, I wouldn't have come to Earth World.
我連他是誰都不知道 I don't even know who this is!
應該是約翰傳奇 天啊 It's John Legend, I think! Oh, my God!
夏茉 瑞克...有人在嗎 Summer? Rick? Anyone?!
是卡爾金一家 That's the entire Culkin family!
原來他們一家有七個人 I guess there's seven of them?
我很喜歡你在 “繼承之戰”里的演出 對不起 I loved you in Succession! I'm sorry!
別再耍幼稚了 我沒時間當你們的爸爸 Enough kindergarten. I don't have time to be your dad.
- 你一直以來都沒當過 - 你們想被我管教嗎 - You never did! - You want me to be a parent?
好 在你們長大之前都不準講話 Fine. No more talking until you're adults.
(對不起)
(我也是)
(爸)
(配合我)
好 無論你是哪一位 輪到你了 Okay, whichever one you are, you're up.
她無法呼吸... She can't breathe! She can't breathe!
該死 可惡 Oh, shit, fuck!
接招吧 Take that!
我們該讓他變幾歲 How old should we make him?
能變多老就變多老 As old as it'll go.
(變齡完成)
把生命交托給不可靠的照護者 一定很可怕吧 Bet it's scary to have your life in the hands of unreliable caregivers!
自己走路 我們不會照顧你 Walk! We're not taking care of you!
對 快起來 不然我們就把你丟在這 Yeah, get up, or we'll leave you here!
就像你當初丟下我們一樣 Just like you left us.
- 死懶鬼 - 去死吧 爸 - Lazy piece of shit! - Fuck you, Dad!
該死的混蛋 你不想要我們 Fucking asshole! You didn't want us.
你一心只想離開 You just wanted to fuck off.
我沒有離開 I didn't leave.
我的貝絲死了 My Beth died.
沒錯 但有人拋下了我們 Yeah, well, someone left us!
而且我們變成兩個人了 And there's two of us now!
你應該要給我們雙倍的愛 You should love us twice as much!
- 我們就只是想要在一起而已 - 我們就只是想要在一起而已 - All we wanted was to be together! - All we wanted was to be together!
你別哭 Don't you... cry!
- 你不配哭 - 為榮 - You don't deserve to cry! - Proud...
“為榮” Proud?
為榮 Proud... of you...
你們把我變老又揍我 for making me old and beating the shit out of me.
我以你們為榮 你們都是我女兒 Proud you're... you're both my daughters.
你們這兩個小賤人害我骨折了 You little bitches broke my bones.
我拉屎了 I'm shitting!
我不是在開玩笑 別再害我笑了 I'm not joking. Stop making me laugh.
我又拉更多屎了 It's making me shit more!
- 太完美了 - 太完美了 - It's perfect! - It's perfect!
如果有什么東西著火 一切就能變得更完美了 The only thing that could make this better is if something was on fire.
我或許還會再刺東西 I might stab something again.
我或許該把你們變回大人 Probably should turn you back.
大部分的小孩都這么愛刺東西嗎 Do most kids like to stab this much?
出口在那里 跟緊一點 There's the exit. Stay close.
拜托幫幫忙 謝天謝地 Please help! Oh, thank God!
你怎么能這樣 How could you--
該死 莫蒂在殺... Oh, shit, Morty's killing...
那個好像是羅瑞卡爾金 I think that's Rory Culkin?
原來這個是他啊 Is that who this one is!?
我們得走了 這顆頭拿去 We gotta bail. Get a head.
- 什么 - 把羅瑞戴上 - What? - Put on Rory!
這里面沒有空間 There's no room!
里面好濕 而且又很臭 It's so wet in here. It smells too.
- 有濕濕的味道 - 他們來了 - It smells wet. - They're coming!
快過來 Come on!
- 快上車 - 遙控器呢 我把遙控器弄丟了 - Come on, get in! - Where's the remote? I lost the remote!
- 我沒辦法把頭縮小 - 把鑰匙給我 - I can't shrink our heads! - Give me the keys!
這里應該叫地球世界才對 More like Earth World.
- 什么 - 就像“侏羅紀世界” 那部續集 - What? - Like Jurassic World. The big sequel?
- 我不知道你在講什么 - 這里本來不是叫地球公園嗎 - I don't know what you're saying. - Wasn't it called Earth Park?
- 不是 - 不是 - No! - No!
有人也覺得冷嗎 Is anybody getting cold?
(圣馬醫院來電)
我瞎了 我的眼睛在太空結凍了 I'm blind! Space froze my eyes!
沒錯 杰里 我就說那個主題樂園很爛 Yeah, Jerry. I told you, that theme park sucks!
“您好 這里是緊急電話專線” Hello. You've reached 911.
“若有緊急狀況 請留言” If this is an emergency, please leave a message.
“我家對面的房子一直消失又出現” The house across the street from me keeps disappearing and reappearing.
“我不知道這算不算緊急狀況” I don't know if that's an emergency,
“但這讓我很不安” but it's really upsetting.
“你們能派人來調查嗎 ” Could you send someone to investigate?
“我剛剛在吃漢堡 結果我的手卻變成漢堡了” So, I was eating a burger and now my hands are burgers.
“你好 我家被入侵了 而且是被一個小家入侵” Hi. I'm being home-invaded, and it's by a small home.
“有個小家在入侵我家” There's a small home that's home-invading my home.
“它帶著頭套 但它絕對是間房子沒錯” It's wearing a ski mask, but it's definitely a house.
“我家外面有一只鴿子 它一直要求我出示出生證明” There's a pigeon outside my house demanding to see my birth certificate.
“我開始覺得緊急電話專線 好像不該用答錄機” I'm beginning to think 911 shouldn't have an answering machine.
“另外 我現在有11條腿了” Also, I have 11 legs now.
“我每次報案都沒人來” Nobody ever comes.
待續
謝謝觀賞
翻譯:高健銘 �