[I Can't Get Started by Ella Fitzgerald playing]
[Music stops]
- Sookie, you've got to be kidding. - What?
- You can't walk down the aisle to that. - Why?
- It's depressing. - It's Ella.
- It's morbid. - It's a classic song.
About a woman who can't make her relationship work...
whose life is full of emptiness, regret and pain.
Who listens to the lyrics?
Anyone not hanging out with Annie Sullivan by the water pump.
What are these?
Those are some alternative songs, but I really like this one.
Alternative songs? Good. Let's see.
- Hey Jude? - Paul wrote it for Julian to cheer him up.
- Seasons In The Sun? - A sentimental favorite.
- Cat's In The Cradle? - It makes you reexamine your priorities.
Don't Cry Out Loud? Sookie, do you even like Jackson?
- I have a wonderful suggestion. - Great. Let's hear it.
Okay, here we go. How about I leave?
- And then do what? - That's it.
I leave and I don't have to listen to this insanity anymore.
What do you think? I love it.
I am in the wedding, which means you have to run it all by yourself...
- something you've never done before. - Please.
How about Lane and I come up with a few more suggestions?
Still melodic, but not quite as Girl, interrupted.
- All right, fine. - Great.
Michel, how is the RSVP list coming?
I must say this has been especially challenging for me.
When you are talking about a wedding with up to 40 people...
all living within a five-mile radius...
how can one person keep track of all of that?
Just an answer will do.
It got a little hairy there for a moment. I almost needed a second sheet of paper.
You won't annoy me out of making you handle it.
We'll see.
My cousin Carl canceled, so I have two empty seats.
Anyone else you want to invite?
I've got Lane and Dean. I'm good.
- What about Emily and Richard? - Emily and Richard who?
- Your Emily and Richard. - Sookie, you're way too sweet.
She took the trouble to help me plan the first phase of the wedding.
- The crazy phase of the wedding. - It was sweet and I appreciate it.
If it wasn't for your mother, I wouldn't have settled on pink.
Why is that?
- I wanted yellow, and she said no. - With logic like that.
Come on. Just ask her. I want you to.
- Okay, I'll ask her. - Good.
What are you doing?
It gets happier the second time you hear it.
[I Can't Get Started by Ella Fitzgerald playing]
Snappier, isn't it?
You know what I just realized?
"Oy" is the funniest word in the entire world.
I mean, think about it. You never hear the word "oy," and not smile. Impossible.
- Funny, funny word. - Oh, dear God.
- "Poodle" is another funny word. - Please drink up, Lorelai.
If you put "oy" and "poodle" together in the same sentence...
you'd have a great new catchphrase.
Like, "Oy with the poodles already."
So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise...
we'll use our favorite new catchphrase:
"Oy with the poodles already."
It's knocking "What you talking about, Willis?"...
- out of first place. - For God's sake, be quiet.
Dinner's ready, Mrs. Gilmore.
Bless you, Inger. Please tell Mr. Gilmore. He's in his den.
Yes, ma'am.
- Shall we? - Okay.
Sookie wanted to know if you and Dad would like to come to her wedding.
- Really? - Yeah, it's gonna be great.
Small, low-key, but fun.
She's catering it herself, so the food will be fantastic...
and you'd see me and Rory walk down the aisle...
in two of the least obnoxious bridesmaids' dresses created.
That sounds very nice. When is it?
A week from Sunday.
- A week from Sunday? - Yes.
- The wedding is in one week? - Yes.
- So this is a pity invite? - A what?
Someone canceled at the last minute...
and rather than being left with empty seats...
she asked you to ask us. How nice.
- That's not what happened. - No, that's quite all right.
Far be it for me to be invited with the first batch of actual wanted guests.
This is just fine.
It's not a pity invite. She really wants you to come.
- Is that so? - Yes, that's so.
- Where is our invitation? - What?
Our invitation.
She must have at least given you an invitation to give us.
She felt it would be more special coming directly from me.
So she was out of invitations. I never felt so special.
She wants you to come. There's no reason to be insulted.
I guess I should be thrilled I didn't get a call as you were on your way there.
Do not turn this into something it's not.
Do we have a choice between chicken or fish, or do we bring our own?
- Stop. - Perhaps she would like us...
to pick up some ice along the way, or help out parking the cars.
Mom, look, isn't Rory pretty?
Apologies all around. I could not get Adamson off the phone.
We were just talking about how pretty Rory is. Give him the baby face.
- Rory gets lovelier every day. - Thank you, Grandpa.
- Richard. - Oh, God.
- Guess what Lorelai just told me. - What?
We are invited to Sookie's wedding.
- How nice. When is it? - A week from Sunday.
So it's a pity invite.
Oy with the poodles already.
- How are your pancakes? - Good.
- Good or really good? - Good.
- So not really good? - Fine. Really good.
Okay.
But are they great?
Rory, would you perhaps like to trade breakfasts?
- You mean your pancakes for my eggs? - Yeah.
Okay.
You're crazy. These pancakes are great.
That's 12.
- Two more and she'll come in. - I don't know.
She's been walking back and forth for 20 minutes...
and still hasn't made it to the door.
But look how much closer to the building she's gotten.
Why don't we just bring her something out?
No, she and Luke have been fighting for too long. She has to do this.
- You're cruel. - Tough love, baby.
- I think she's coming in. - How can you tell?
She's got the shoe-sale face on.
- Okay, I did it. I'm in. - Good girl.
That wasn't so bad. It took a while, but not so bad.
- Wait. Why are you eating? - You took 30 minutes to come in.
- But I'm here now, and I'm like cheese. - What?
She gets better with time.
- Sorry, we got school. - But...
Order breakfast. I'll leave the paper.
- See you tonight. - Dean, don't leave me.
You'll be fine.
[Door closing]
- Hey. - Hello.
Good doughnut selection this morning, really.
Good variety, good color, good goodness.
Well, so the choices are there.
It all comes down to what I'm in the mood for.
Sprinkled or chocolate or jelly or glazed.
Maple or sticky or apple or raised.
A little doughnut rhyme there.
Never mind. Can I have a chocolate and a sprinkled?
- So this is how it's gonna be with us now? - No idea what you're talking about.
- You're pulling a "Mr. Freeze" on me. - I'm not.
I'm gonna need snow chains just to get out of here.
I assume you want coffee with your doughnuts?
I'm sorry, Luke. It was a bad night. I completely freaked out.
I said some things.
- Did you get my note? - I got your note.
- Did you read my note? - I read your note.
- And? - It was very well-written.
That's it?
I also enjoyed the Garfield stationery. That's one funny cat.
- I said I was sorry. - Yes, you did.
- I said it a million times. - You said it four times...
but I understand you're embellishing for dramatic effect.
- Stop. - Stop what?
Stop this robot talk. If you're mad, just act like you're mad at me.
I'm not mad at you.
You're being really unfair. Rory was in the hospital.
What is it exactly that you want me to do? I'm not mad. I'm not holding a grudge.
I heard your apology. I'm being polite. I listened to your doughnut bit.
I got you your coffee. What would make you happy?
- I want Luke back. - He's standing right here.
No, he's not.
Better drinking fountains, updated lockers,
clearly marked boys' and girls' restrooms.
Non-dairy and wheat-free alternatives in the cafeteria.
A larger voice in the monetary disbursal of charitable funds...
donated to our institution.
Because it is our institution, yours and mine.
Remember, people. If Chilton soars, we soar. If Chilton fails, we fail.
It is up to us. We must get involved. We must care.
It is not enough to sign a petition...
to get a Little Debbie machine installed in the corridor.
Snack cakes will not change the world.
Cream filling will not decide our legacy.
How will future generations of Chilton students remember the Class of 2003?
John F. Kennedy once said:
"Ask not what your country can do for you..."
"Ask what you can do for your country."
Those eloquent words are just as relevant here in this hall today.
What can you...
the future of Chilton, of America, of the world...
what can you do for your school?
I will tell you what you can do.
You can vote for me, Paris Geller, for Student Body President.
And let me start tomorrow for you today.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to thank Reese McKinley, Schotzie Leasen...
and Paris Geller, your presidential candidates for next year.
Elections will be held this Friday. Good luck to all of you.
This concludes today's assembly. You are all dismissed.
- Hey. - Hey.
Did you get the "Little Debbie" comment?
All of it? Cream filling and snack cake?
- Every delicious morsel. - Good, good.
So how do you think it went?
I think it went fine.
Fine as in better than Reese and Schotzie?
- Fine as in fine. - How are you skewing the article?
You'll have to wait and read about it like everyone else.
- Write whatever you want. - I will.
Make sure you mention that...
Schotzie pulling the Sharon Stone, Basic instinct bit...
was an attempt to distract the student body...
- from my mandatory recycling program. - Go away.
- I got it. - You do? Come on, tell me.
- Okay, 150 students were polled. - A total cross-section.
We talked to people that we should never even have to stand near.
The hairstyles proved the Farrelly brothers are not making it up.
Have I ever been mistaken for a patient person?
Right, sorry. So we added the votes up.
- You added? - She added.
Continue.
When asked who is the most qualified for the job of President...
- 90% said you. - Really?
When asked who would be the most competent President...
the answer was, once again, you.
- So that's it. I'm in. - Not quite.
Most competent, most qualified. What else is there?
- We also polled likeability. - And?
- While people think you're smart... - And competent.
And competent, they also find you, well, a tad...
Scary.
Someone thought a Halloween mask of you would sell big.
Well, fine. They don't like me. Big deal, right?
- I'm still most competent. - Yes.
But when asked if the likeability issue would affect their voting choice...
- almost 100% said yes. - That's crazy.
People would vote for a moronic twink who they liked...
over someone who can actually do the job?
- Sad but true. - Well, what do I do?
Hope for a sex scandal?
- Louise? - I'm on it.
- Hey. - Tomorrow, with everyone else.
I have been racking my brains for weeks...
trying to figure out who should be my Vice-Presidential candidate.
Who would be yin to my yang, Joel to my Ethan, Damon to my Affleck?
And then, suddenly, it hits me. The perfect person.
- Who? - You.
- What? - It's genius.
We could announce it tomorrow. Geller and Gilmore.
We even have a "G" thing. Never underestimate the power of alliteration.
I don't want to be Vice-President.
- Every girl wants to be Vice-President. - Not this one.
You have to. It's the only way. Please, I'm begging you.
- Paris... - They hate me, okay?
- Who hates you? - Everyone in the whole school hates me.
They think I'm the best for the job, but they won't vote for me...
so I'm going to lose.
How is my running with you gonna change anything?
Because people think you're nice. You're quiet. You say, "Excuse me."
You look like birds help you get dressed. They don't fear you.
I haven't been dressed by a bird since I was two.
- You will soften my image. - You're crazy.
- Please? - No, I don't want to be in politics.
I just want to write about it.
You won't have to do anything.
I'll do the work and make the speeches.
- You just have to sit there and be nice. - No. Bye.
Harvard loves this kind of crap.
Being Vice-President is just one more thing to put you ahead...
of the thousands of straight A students...
who are applying for the same spot you are.
Think about it. You say no...
then comes the day when the letter from Harvard arrives.
They've turned you down. Enjoy Connecticut State, sucker.
Tell me you won't be thinking, "What if I had just run with Paris?"
"What if the one thing that could have ensured my place..."
"Behind those ivy-covered walls I just walked away from?"
- Fine. - Yes. Okay.
I guess just being nice to people never occurred to you?
That is exactly what I need from you.
Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm for the new millennium.
Wear some braids tomorrow, with bows. Hell, let's sell it, sister.
- How do you feel? - Great.
- Not at all sad? - About getting my arm back? No.
Really? 'Cause I've kind of gotten used to Castie over here.
We decorated him. We talked to him. We protected him from getting wet.
It's time to stop getting attached to inanimate objects.
Castie, no one understands you like I do. What?
No, I did not know Mr. Band-Aid said that to you.
I will talk to him when we get home.
- How are you doing? - Dr. Sue, thank God.
Rory, let's get this thing off your arm.
- What do you say? - Not a word.
CHRISTOPHER: This one here? Which one?
Hey, you in the white. Come on, point a finger.
- Dad? - Christopher?
There you are.
- Is it still on? - What are you doing?
Great, I didn't miss it.
- Hey, Doctor, I'm Dad. - Nice to meet you.
I can't believe you're here.
I told you I wanted to come for the big unveiling.
But I didn't think you would drive all the way from Boston again.
- You getting sick of me? - Frankly, yes.
- Everyone here now? - I think so.
Then let's do it.
And if at all possible, we'd like to keep the arm.
I'll try my best.
- So where to next? - I have to get home.
- I have to review my campaign platform. - Campaign platform?
Our little Hillary Clinton here is running for Student Body Vice-President.
Elections are on Friday, but I'm very torn about which way I want it to go.
I spent four hours making picture buttons. You want to win.
If I win, I have to be Vice-President next year.
Plus, I'll have to spend my summer in Washington...
for a junior leadership program...
which means six weeks of me and Paris together in a dorm room.
How about this? I'll come back on Thursday and take you guys to dinner.
Then we'll break into Chilton and tamper with votes.
- We can't. - Thursday is Sookie's rehearsal dinner.
Then you have to put your trust in the democratic system. Good luck.
If you're gonna be in the area Thursday night, you could come with us.
But it's Sookie's rehearsal dinner.
She would love it. She's cooking for a thousand. It'll be fun.
I'm bringing Dean.
- If you can't do it, then... - What time?
- 7:30 p.m. - I'm there.
That's great. I'll tell her.
[Glasses clinking]
A toast. Everybody, a toast.
Ladies, gentlemen, honored guests...
who owns the silver Volvo? 'Cause you're blocking me in.
Well, it's better than the toast he made at the Abromowitz wedding.
- How long before I move the car? - Give it another 10 minutes.
Come on, I've got to go. My mom is waiting. This isn't funny.
We need to talk.
- What's the matter? - The bedroom, please.
- I'm melting chocolate here. - The chocolate can wait.
My father just took me aside and handed me this.
- He handed you a skirt? - It's not a skirt.
It's a kilt.
Why did he hand this to you?
He gave this to me to wear on my wedding day.
- No. - Yes.
He wore it at his wedding. My grandfather wore it at his wedding.
Apparently there's a tradition...
where the men in my family get very airy on the big day.
Well, honey, if it means that much to him.
Are you crazy?
He's your father.
You won't let me wear shorts in public, but you're letting me get married in this?
- What are you gonna do? - I'm gonna wear pants.
If he doesn't like it, let him not come.
He has to come. He's the best man.
- Too bad. - Jackson, come on.
Shorts are different. They cut you funny.
Okay, that's it. I need some air. Grab the bottle.
Bossy. I like it.
Wow. I hope the second act is as good as the first one.
Well, it's a wedding. Things are supposed to be horrible.
When Jackson came out holding that kilt, I felt for him.
I know. So did I.
Please, I saw what your face was doing.
What was my face doing?
Counting how many Brigadoon references...
you could come up with to torture him with on a later date.
How dare you accuse my face of that?
My face is calling Gloria Allred when we get home.
- How many references? - None.
How many?
Twelve. Including a few bars of I'll Go Home With Bonnie Jean.
I'm begging you, take plenty of pictures at this wedding...
because I have a feeling it'll be a classic.
If you are gonna be in town for the day, you should just come with us...
- and see all the fireworks for yourself. - Okay.
- Okay? - Yeah.
- Just like that, okay? - If Sookie doesn't mind.
- What's going on with you? - What do you mean?
I mean, Mr. Suddenly-I'm-Everywhere...
how come you can just agree to come to the wedding?
Because I can.
Don't you have to check your appointments?
- It's on a Sunday. - Don't you have to check with Sherry?
- Chris, what's up? - Nothing.
Sherry's not in town.
Even if she was, I still don't think she'd mind.
Because she's the coolest chick in the world?
Because things aren't going too well for us lately.
- Oh, no. - She had this big business trip planned.
And before she left, we had a talk.
- Yikes. - Yeah.
We tried to come up with some answers, but we couldn't think of anything.
So she left, and we said we'd take this time apart to think.
And what have you been thinking?
About finding an apartment.
Wow. That's so weird.
The last time I saw you two, you were both nauseating, actually.
We made ourselves sick a few times.
- I don't know what to say. - No, there's nothing to say.
It's nobody's fault. It just isn't it.
- Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks.
Well, then it's decided. You'll come with me to Sookie's wedding...
and you make sure I stop...
one or two brigadoonisms shy of Jackson taking me out with a bagpipe.
It would be my pleasure.
Oh, my God. I'm so tired.
- Hey, Mom. - Yes, angel?
Do you know where the almonds I made for Table 5 went?
No.
They were here last night before Sookie's dinner.
- Really, how odd? - Yeah.
And this morning, I found some on the staircase leading to your bedroom.
Ghosts?
It took me six hours to make those almond bundles.
Well, see if you can beat that next time.
So you got home late from Sookie's?
Yeah, I stayed to help her clean up a little.
- Guess what? - What?
- I know something you don't know. - What?
Okay, just remember it's really wrong to gossip...
unless it's true or just way too good not to tell everyone you see...
- whether you know them or not. - What is it?
[Phone ringing]
That's my conscience calling. Tell it enough already.
- Hello? - How's this sound for a template?
"I have done my best. I have lost. Mr. Nixon has won."
"The democratic process has worked its will..."
"So now let's get on with the urgent task of uniting this country."
- What is that? - Hubert Humphrey's concession speech.
Other than the part about Nixon, parts of it really seem to apply here.
- Paris... - I'm not going to steal it.
I'll paraphrase and give him credit.
Not that the person who actually wins will even know who Hubert Humphrey is...
but I bet they'll organize one boffo senior ditch day.
- Where are you? - In the auditorium.
I wanted to be here for one last meet-and-greet.
- Get them before they go to the booth. - Leave now.
- But... - People will think you're insane...
and generally people are scared of the insane. See where I'm going here?
- I'm going to lose. - You don't know that.
Yes, I do.
Because even if I win, I only won because of you. So either way, I lose.
Come on. Go get a cup of coffee. Relax.
You deserve this job. I swear. Put away the concession speech.
Hubert Humphrey must not have been considered very fun either.
I'll see you at school.
God, she wants to win so badly, and me not so badly. I feel terrible.
You know you wanna win...
so you can spend your summer in Washington.
Don't even talk about Washington. It gives me a stomach ache.
- It'd be wonderful. - Then you and I will go some day.
Look at you. Trying to make Mommy feel better.
- Get back to the gossip, please. - Yeah, okay.
So, guess who's in the process of breaking up?
- Fred and Jen? - Bite your tongue.
I don't know.
Sherry and your dad.
- No. - Yes.
- Dad told you that? - Last night.
Wow. But they were so together.
I know. Well, now they're not.
- Well, is he... - Look at you. -What?
- You're totally gloating. - I'm not gloating.
- Why are you smiling? - I am not smiling.
- I had a little stroke. - You're smiling.
If he was all broken up about it, then I'd be sad. But he's not. So...
Fourth rung of hell, party of one.
Well, at least my feet won't get cold.
Where did you get that?
- What? - That.
The Jordan almond you pulled out of your pajama top and ate.
- Where did you get it? - Santa Claus.
All right, the piano movers will be here at 8:00...
and the chairs will be set up at 9:00.
All the rooms are made up and ready. I will be in at 10:00.
I am going home, unless you want me to stay.
Actually, I would. Thanks.
No, I'm sorry. I think I said that wrong.
I am going home now, unless you want me to stay.
I would love you to stay. Thanks.
Okay, once again, my English, not so good. One more time.
I am going home now after working six hours longer than I usually work...
and performing tasks I despise and I'm ashamed of.
Now I am going home to wash off the stench of this horrifying day...
that is, unless, for some unknown, godforsaken reason...
you need me to stay.
- Well, actually... - Goodbye.
Can I grab my bag? I'll go in the back and change. Thank you.
Hey, I went with the sugar daffodils for the top tier.
Let me tell you, they look great. I've outdone myself this time.
- What are you still doing here? - I want to double check everything.
Don't worry. I'm done. Everything's fine. I'm going straight to bed.
- Your last night as a single woman. - Yep.
- You still look good. - I still feel good.
From tomorrow, you can wear cold cream to bed and stop shaving your legs.
- That's right, 'cause I got me a man. - Go to sleep.
- See you tomorrow. - See you tomorrow.
Look who's got Martha Stewart locked in a basement. Did you do all this?
Yeah, I did. How's it look?
- It looks great. - Good.
- What are you doing up? - I couldn't sleep.
I sweet-talked the maid into leaving me 10,000 pillow mints...
and I ate them all.
Serves you right.
Oh, God. I'm so exhausted.
- You need some help? - No, I'm almost done.
[Lorelai sighing]
I got up and went back to work just now, didn't I?
- Yes, you did. - Good.
This is not the time to loaf.
I'm so happy for Sookie.
It's like a real, live love story.
I saw it all happen.
I mean, I hired Jackson. I watched them meet.
I watched them have several bizarrely intense arguments over mustard greens.
I watched them fall in love.
[Lorelai sighing]
I got to see it all. It was a nice show.
- Hi. - Hi.
- What was that? - I have no idea.
One more time, and maybe I'll have an explanation.
- This is not happening. - I hope to God you're wrong.
But it's us. I mean, you and I, we...
Have never been in the same place at the same time.
But now...
- My head is spinning. - It's the plants in here, too much oxygen.
What do we do now?
- You know, I've got a room upstairs. - You were that sure you'd get lucky?
I never dreamed I'd get this lucky.
- That's good. - So what do you say?
- What are you doing? - Daffodils. Am I insane?
Can't have daffodils on the wedding cake. What was I thinking?
- Stop what you're doing now. - There's too much pink.
- This is not too much pink. - Pink is for girls.
Jackson's not a girl. Jackson doesn't like pink.
I have all this pink. It's like saying, "Screw you."
"You want a say in this? Well, grow some ovaries."
- Hey, put the pastry bag down. - I can't. I have to fix this.
Sookie, down.
Step away from all things edible.
- What happened? - I don't know.
When I left you, you were fine.
When I went home, I was fine. When I went to bed, I was fine.
Then I had this dream where my dress is really short in the back, you know?
I bolt out of bed and put my dress on. It looks okay.
But then I panic. What if I remember the dream wrong?
What if my dress isn't screwed up? What if it's my veil?
So I put on the veil. Then I remember I'm serving salmon puffs.
Salmon puffs. Completely wrong.
So I had to rush over here and try to find another first course.
I walk out and these daffodils... Something snapped.
- And that's when you walked in here. - Honey, you're nervous. It's natural.
- I wasn't nervous until tonight. - Well, that's okay.
- I'm scared. - I know.
- I don't want to get divorced. - I know.
I don't want to fight all the time and end up bitter.
I know.
I don't want to be one of those women sitting around...
making jokes about husband number two.
- I want number one to last. - I know.
- I want a guarantee. - Sookie, you're gonna be fine.
I know. No, I don't.
I need to stop obsessing on this. Tell me something.
- Like what? - I don't know. Anything.
Tell me something to make me stop thinking about this.
- I just slept with Christopher. - That'll work.
- It just happened. - When?
- Tonight in his room. - Oh, my God.
- Was it... - Yeah.
- What does this mean? - I don't know.
- Is this a good thing? - I don't know. I think it is.
Imagine if you and Christopher got together after all these years.
Hold on. We haven't talked about that ourselves yet.
Oh, God.
- I know. - When will you talk about it?
When I go back up with the snacks I promised.
- He's waiting for you? - Yes, he is.
- You must get back. - You need some sleep.
I want to hear all the details tomorrow.
I'll grab you between the walking down the aisle and the getting married.
- Hey, Sookie. - What?
You're in your wedding dress.
- I am. - You're beautiful.
- Now you go get some sleep. - And you go get some.
- Room service. - I do like this hotel.
- That's good. What is it? - I have no idea.
But if Sookie asks, Michel ate it.
Should we avoid the subject for a while or dive right in?
- Call me Greg Louganis. - Right.
What just happened here...
- Amazing. - I'm not arguing.
Does that mean there's a chance for a repeat amazing?
Do you mean right now or in general?
- Both. Let's start with in general. - I don't know, Chris.
It's weird, isn't it? I mean...
we found this great balance. I've been seeing you more.
- We're getting along so well. - I know.
- And this thing with Sherry is so recent. - I know.
Then there's Rory to think about.
We can't go changing everything on her now.
- Not unless... - Not unless it's a permanent change.
- Yeah. - You're so sure it can't be?
No, I'm not so sure.
- The timing seems right. - I know it does.
Maybe all this stuff we went through...
that's the journey we needed to take to end up here.
- Maybe. - Being a family. Mom, Dad, kid, Volvo.
- The Volvo will have to go. - It has a nice ring to it.
Yeah, it does. I guess...
What?
- I guess we'll never know until we try. - So, we try?
Yeah, we try.
I've got ten minutes. How fast can you make a ham on rye?
- I never clocked it. - Do you think it could be fast?
Of all the sandwiches...
I believe the ham on rye is one of the faster ones to assemble.
- And a patty melt? Same time frame? - Probably longer.
- Really? - Yes, I have to grill a hamburger.
With the other one, I put the ham on the bread.
What if I want the bread on the ham on rye toasted?
Somewhere between the patty melt and the un-toasted?
- Probably. - Closer to the melt...
- Peanut butter and jelly to go. - Coming right up.
- What do you think of this suit? - It's fine.
I got it for Sookie's wedding.
I read an article that said...
weddings are excellent places to meet women.
If it was in the paper, it must be true.
I hope so, 'cause I'm so damn lonely, not even Animal Planet does it for me.
Your sandwich is coming right up.
Caesar, I'm going upstairs for a minute.
- Hi. - Hi.
How did you get in here?
- The door was open. - I mean, I was in the diner.
I would have seen you come up the stairs.
You know what? Forget it. I don't want to know.
[Sighing]
- So how's everything back home? - Fine.
- Your mom? - Fine.
- Are you in trouble? - No.
Then what the hell are you doing here, Jess?
You know, I called you six times. Now, I didn't expect you to call me back...
so we could sit on the phone in bed and watch Sleepless in Seattle together.
I just expected you to call me back to say you got home safe...
no one mugged you on the bus, say you were okay.
You know what? Never mind.
Just tell me what it is you want. I got work to do.
- I want to come back. - You what?
I want to come back.
- Come back here? - Yes.
- Here to Stars Hollow? - Yes.
- To live here with me? - I said yes a million times.
You're the one asking for something...
so you don't get to be James Dean this time, okay?
One more time. You wanna come back?
- Yes. - Why?
I just...
I just wanna come back.
[Luke clearing throat]
You know what people told me when I said you were coming here?
They told me I was crazy. They told me I was insane.
They told me to start writing letters to Jodie Foster, but I ignored them.
I was so sure that I knew what I was doing...
and then you showed up, and you know what happened?
You proved them right. I was crazy.
And now, after all that has happened, after all the chaos and havoc...
that you have wreaked, you're seriously standing there...
wearing a T-shirt with a picture of a butt with hands that are flipping me off...
telling me you want to come back?
- You didn't pack up my stuff yet. - No, I've been a little busy.
When were you planning on sending it back to me?
Am I wearing a little brown uniform with UPS stamped on it?
So what do you think?
Things are gonna have to be different, Jess.
I know.
- Okay. - Okay?
- So you're staying? - I'm staying.
Okay then, stay.
I got to get back to the diner.
I'll help you close up later, all right?
Sure.
She's not home.
- Who? - She's at Sookie's wedding with Dean.
They're still together.
They seem to have gotten through the whole car incident.
They're doing really good, Dean and Rory.
Good.
Just leave it alone, Jess.
She's got a boyfriend. Just let it go.
I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just going out for a walk.
- You heard what I said? - Yeah, I heard what you said.
[Door closing]
[People singing]
The linen closet's the third door on the right.
[Singing] I know just what's the matter
Because I've been there once or twice
- Hey, you. - Hey, you look nice.
Thank you. You look beautiful.
- Thank you. - So how many cocktails caused that?
They haven't had any cocktails yet.
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
When they start having cocktails, we'll hide you.
I'm looking forward to that.
[Cell phone ringing]
I'm not sure who'd be calling me now.
- Hello? - Dean?
- Who is this? - It's Paris. I need to talk to Rory.
- Sure, hold on. It's Paris. - What?
- Hello? - We got the band.
We got the band.
I knew we had most of the academic clubs tied up, but band...
they were the wildcard.
If anybody's going to be truly scared of me...
it's some artsy loser with a tuba.
How did you get this number?
I won't call you on Prince William's precious phone again.
I just wanted you to know that we did it. We're in. Welcome to the show.
I think we won.
- Wow. That's great. - Yeah.
I guess this means you'll be spending the summer in Washington.
Nothing's decided yet.
Believe me. Let me do a little research, then I'll figure something out.
Good.
You know what's really great about being a grownup?
- This. - Well, thanks for the life lesson.
You're welcome. You clean up really nicely.
Thank you.
We have to hide him from Patty and Babette when they're drunk.
- I already told him. - I got to check on some things.
- See you guys later. - Bye.
- Stop it. - Stop what?
Stop looking at me like that, or everyone here will think we did it.
That'll throw them off the track.
So this morning you woke up and felt sorry about last night?
No.
- Embarrassed about last night? - No.
Eager and willing to repeat last night?
- Mom, Dad, hi. - Richard, Emily.
Hello, Christopher. What a pleasant surprise.
- You came. - Of course we came. We were invited.
Hello, Christopher. Why did you think we would not come?
- You thought the invitation was rude. - It was rude.
It would have been equally rude for us not to attend...
when we were perfectly capable of doing so, so we came.
That's called "rising above it."
I see. You wanna come here long enough to get a drink?
That would be nice.
- I'll get it for you. - Champagne, please.
- Should I make that two? - Absolutely.
I believe I'll join you to see what sort of scotch they're serving here.
When I get back, you're gonna have to answer my last question.
What on earth is Christopher doing here?
Well, he's visiting his daughter.
- That's very nice. - Yeah.
He's been visiting his daughter quite a bit lately.
- Really? - Yes.
You might be seeing a lot more of Christopher from now on.
Because he'll be visiting his daughter?
Yes. He'll be visiting his daughter.
Well, I'll be damned.
[Singing] I go out walking After midnight
Out in the moonlight
Just like we used to do I'm always walking
After midnight Searching for you
So I'm guessing your mom talked to you.
She talks to me all the time, frequently when I'm begging her not to.
- And she told you what we discussed? - She mentioned something about it, yes.
- And what do you think about all this? - I don't know.
- What exactly are your intentions? - Excuse me?
Your intentions, are they honorable?
Completely honorable.
We have been waiting for this for a really long time...
and we take disappointment extremely hard.
I mean it. Property damage is often involved.
I better follow through on this, huh?
I think that's an excellent idea.
Come here, you.
[Cell phone ringing]
- That's probably work. - On a Sunday?
Hey, I've got a lot of responsibility now, okay?
Be right back.
What are you doing here?
- Hello to you, too. - Is everything okay?
- You look nice. - Thank you.
- What are you doing here? - I moved back.
- What? - I moved back.
But why?
I just wanted to.
Oh, my God.
- Rory... - Don't say a word.
- Okay. - I have to go.
Welcome home.
- Lor. - Hey, there.
We're starting any minute. Have you seen Rory?
- Yeah, I just left her over there. - Okay, I'll find her.
Get a good seat. The wind's kicking up so this may be a good show.
I have to go.
- What? Why? - I have to take care of something.
- Chris. - I'm sorry, really.
- I'll call you later to see how it went. - No, wait a minute.
Tell me why you're leaving. What's going on?
Sherry called. She's back.
So you're going home.
Gonna tell her you're moving out?
[Christopher sighing]
No?
- Okay. - I can't believe this.
I mean, I really can't believe this.
Okay. I don't know. Just drive safe.
- Drive safe? - Yeah, drive safe.
I mean, you're still Rory's dad, right?
Whatever happens or doesn't happen between us...
I still need you to drive safe.
- Lorelai... - Just go, Chris.
Sherry's pregnant.
Oh, my.
She just found out and she called me as soon as she found out.
And that was her calling to tell me that she found out.
- Pregnant? - Yeah.
Well, women all over the world will line up to see that tiny woman fat.
I don't know what to do. I was so happy last night.
- And now... - Yeah.
I missed it before with Rory. I wasn't there. I wasn't a part of it.
- I know. - And I never forgave myself.
- I know. - So I'm gonna do that again?
- I'm just gonna take off? Disappear? - No.
- You're gonna go home. - This is absolutely unbelievable.
I waited years for this, Lor:
You, Rory, the whole perfect picture.
Listen.
I have to walk down the aisle in a minute and be happy for Sookie...
and right now I'm having a little trouble standing.
So maybe it would be better if you would just go.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, me, too.
- Tell Rory? - I will.
Hey.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
[I Can't Get Started by Ella Fitzgerald playing]
I think I'm going to Washington.
Okay.