That should do it!
Ah, it's fixed?
I mean, I don't know.
I didn't grow up with plumbing,
so I'm like, "I guess this is right."
Okay. Well, hey, thanks for the help.
You think I could talk to you for a second?
Ennnnnnh...
Don't be a weirdo.
Okay. Sure. Ye--
Sit down.
You got a nice place.
Anybody ever told you that?
Oh, it's so small. I can't wait to move.
I grew up in a van and would take baths at a lake nearby.
At least, I think it was a lake.
It's possible it was just a giant pothole in the road
because it only had water in it after it rained.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna stay here awhile.
It's nice. It's spacious, you know? I love it. Yeah.
So... What's up?
Well... the thing is...
I'm not who I seem to be.
What do you mean?
It's like, I go around, every day,
and people think I'm a certain way,
but inside I'm something else.
And I don't know how long I can keep the secret.
Ohhhhhh.
Yeah.
And you wanna tell me?
Well, you seem like a good guy.
When I was six, my dad robbed gas stations
and told the police that I did it.
And I was like, "You already got away with it, Dad."
And he was like, "You need to see what happens
when you get caught, son."
Turns out he just didn't want to pay for a babysitter
while he went on a bender in Cleveland.
He called it "Government Daycare".
So I spent a bunch of months in juvie before I tunneled
my way out with one of those wooden spoons
they give you in the ice cream cups.
That's how I first got these guns. You wanna feel?
Maybe later.
Sweet.
So you look at me like a dad?
A daddy.
A dad?
...dy.
How 'bout you just tell me whatever you wanna tell me
and then we'll just... go from there.
Aw, man. I don't know if I can.
Is this water?
Yeah.
Aw, man, it's coming out clear.
I don't think I fixed it.
Look, I think you're avoiding whatever you wanna tell me.
And, look, you can take as long as you want
but just know that whatever it is,
it's okay.
Awwww. Thanks, Daddy.
Call me Scott.
Daddy Scott.
Spill it.
Talk.
Okay. I'm...
It's okay.
I'm...
I'm not Nick Jonas!
What?!
It's like, every day I go around and people are like,
"There goes Nick Jonas."
But inside I'm like, "No! No! I'm not him."
Ohhhhhh.
Ohhh! It feels so good to say it out loud!
I just wanna live my truth openly!
[door opening]
Love me for who I am, world!
People think you're Nick Jonas?
Ha ha. Yes. People think I'm Nick Jonas.
Don't act like you thought I wasn't.
You're just not very...
Nick Jonas-acting.
As if!
Check out these abs!
You can't tell me these aren't Nick Jonas abs.
They are very... Nick Jonas-y.
Are they...
Are they oiled?
They just always look like that?
I have brown hair, brown eyes.
Plus I have two brothers... that I know of.
But your name is Mack.
And my last name is Jomas.
Your name is Mack Jomas?
Yeah! So if you're drunk, like my mom always was,
it sounds like you're saying "Nick Jonas".
[slurred] "Get me another forty, Mack Jomas."
Okay.
So then when did you first realize that you are...
not Nick Jonas.
I think on the inside I always knew.
But when I hit puberty, I was like,
"I don't remember shooting 'Camp Rock'.
I don't think I'm him."
Yeah, I think that's when most guys first realize
that they're not Nick Jonas.
So did you confide in anybody?
Well, there was this one girl who liked me - of course -
Of course.
And I told her I'd never actually
turned my chin music up.
She thought it was just a phase.
Chin music?
You know. "I turn my chin music up."
From not my song, "Jealous"?
Oh, no. He says, "I turn my cheek. Music up."
No, dude. It's "chin music".
What the hell is "chin music"?
I don't know! I'm not Nick Jonas!
God! Why does everyone want me to be someone I'm not?!
Okay! This was fun.
And by "fun", I mean, "totally insane".
You aren't being a very supportive daddy.
Scott.
Daddy Scott.
Stop it!
You know, I thought you'd be a safe place.
Turns out you're just like my real dad:
drunk, selfish
and refusing to steal me an American Girl doll!
I'm sorry! I just already knew you weren't Nick Jonas!
Because I have eyes.
Well, this was a let down.
My big coming out and you already knew the truth.
Well, may-- maybe I could just tell because, you know, I...
knew what to look for.
I'm sure plenty of people will be shocked
when they find out you're not Nick Jonas.
You think so?
They will definitely have a reaction.
Awww.
Thanks, Daddy.
Scott.
[whispered] Daddy Scott.
No!
Wait--
So you're not gay?
Oh, totally!
Oh!
Okay. Me, too.
Yeah, I could tell.
Oh. Well, yeah, ditto. The thing with the doll?
-Super gay. -Super gay, yeah.
[laughing]
So... do you wanna feel my guns now?
-Yeah! -Okay.