你好 纽约 Hey, New York.
你和马桶之间的关系 The relationship that you have with your toilet
不同于你和家里其他任何物件 is unlike any other object in your home,
更像是一位浪漫的伴侣 much like a romantic partner.
它是你生命中永远不会缺席的部分 It's the one thing in your life that's always there for you.
你们一起分享了无数亲密时刻 You've shared countless intimate moments together,
而你... and you're...
熟知它曼妙的曲线 familiar with all its beautiful curves.
它是你回家的理由 It's a reason to come home
当你远走时 你会为它买些好东西 and something to buy nice things for when you go away
而且... And...
你无法想象它和别人在一起 You can't imagine it with anyone else.
尽管它在遇见你之前可能有过很多伴侣 Even though it may have had many partners before you.
当你离开家时 你就脱离了自己的安全区 But when you leave the house, you're ripped out of your comfort zone,
你不得不去寻找其他可用的厕所 and you have to use whatever toilets are available.
你通常会先去询问当地的商户 You usually start by asking a local business,
然而没有一家会让你进门 but none of them want to let you in.
"-有厕所吗 -没有 -好吧" "- Bathroom? - No - Okay."
就在你开始考虑采取孤注一掷的手段 And just when you start to consider taking desperate measures to
来减轻痛苦时 你开始走上 relieve your pain, you start walking over the
皇后区大桥 然后注意到护栏那边 Queensboro Bridge and notice a porta-potty
有一间移动厕所 而它的平衡仅靠一截木材 balancing on some two-by-fours over the guardrail.
所以翻过护栏 看它是否开着 So you scale the bridge to see if it's open.
即便你终于找到一个地方释放自我 And even though you eventually found a place to go,
你也会希望它不必如此费劲 you wish that it didn't take so much effort.
你知道城市里其实遍布厕所 You know that the city is full of toilets,
但当你需要时 它们总是有点遥不可及 but they're always slightly out of reach when you need one.
但如果你做过一点研究 But maybe if you did a little research,
你就能破解密码 you could finally crack the code and
你就能进入洗手间帝国 hack into the restroom matrix.
进入城市中任意一个洗手间 And getting into any restroom in the city will
就会变得易如反掌 finally become easy.
所以 与其担心自己喝了太多水 So instead of worrying about drinking too much water,
或是离家太远 or getting too far from home,
朋友 请就坐 take a seat, friend,
我来告诉你找到公共厕所的最佳办法 and I'll show you the best way to find a public restroom.
城市中其实有成千上万个公共厕所 The city actually has a ton of public restrooms
基本都于本世纪初开放 that were open around the turn of the century.
你曾经可以 You used to be able to
进入任何一个公园或地铁站 go into any park or subway station
随时随地使用厕所 and use a bathroom whenever you wanted.
但到了1970年代 But then in the 1970s,
其中大多数都因为预算原因关闭 most of them started to close for budgetary reasons.
从那之后 事情就每况愈下 And the problem has only gotten worse since then.
纽约大约有八百万居民 There's about 8 million residents in New York,
每年还会有六千万游客到访 and another 60 million tourists that come annually.
但只有大约一千个公共厕所满足人们需求 But there's only around a thousand public restrooms to accommodate everyone,
而且仅有两个是24小时开放 and only two of them are open 24/7.
而且不知为何 时代广场和洛克菲勒中心都没有公共厕所 There are somehow no public restrooms in Times Square or Rockefeller Center.
至于上东区 And the Upper East Side is
可以称作是最大的公共厕所荒漠之一 actually one of the biggest public restroom deserts of all.
但或许不开设更多的公厕是因为 But maybe the city isn't opening more restrooms because
我们的污水处理系统已经不堪重负 our sewer system is already overwhelmed.
所以你去参观废物处理机构 So you take a visit to the waste treatment facility
看它是否能承受更多 to see if they can actually handle more.
在这里我们基本可以监管工厂里发生的一切 Here we can oversee basically everything going on on the plant.
这个"浮渣坑"是什么专业术语还是就... Is the scum pit like a technical term or is that something that like...
-不 我们就是有几个浮渣坑 -一号特殊工具又是什么 - No, we have a couple scum pits. - What's special tool number one?
那是我昨天为一项特别任务专门发明的工具 That was a tool I developed yesterday to do a specific task.
好吧 Okay.
所以什么垃圾会从这个洞里出来 So what kind of material comes out of this hole?
包装纸 塑料瓶 纸板箱 Rappers, plastic bottles, cardboard boxes.
这些东西也是从下水道来的吗 And is this stuff that goes in like to the sewer too?
对啊 所有进下水道的都会被送到这里 Yeah, anything that hits the sewer comes here.
那像猫屎呢 能把它冲进下水道吗 What about like cat feces? Can you flush that?
猫砂吗 不行 Kitty litter? No.
如果我们建更多的公厕 污水处理系统还能承受吗 Could our sewage system like support more public restrooms if we've built them?
毫无疑问 Oh, without doubt.
如果纽约所有的污水处理系统都停止运营 会怎么样 What would happen if all of the sewage facilities were to stop operating in New York City?
污水会倒灌进入人们的家中 餐馆 We would have sewage backing up into people's homes, restaurants.
可能一切都会崩溃 Essentially everything would probably collapse.
-你是刚参加完宝宝派对吗 -不 是有人今天落在我桌上的 - Were you just at a baby shower? - No, that was just left on my desk today from
但上面没名字 所以我得找出是谁落下的 somebody that didn't leave their name on there so I have to find out who dropped it off.
-能看看里面有啥吗 -当然 -好啊 - Oh, can we see what's in it? - Sure. - Okay.
这是一条漂亮的小裤子 It is a nice little outfit.
-可真漂亮 -我的外孙女穿上这些 - Oh, that's beautiful. - My granddaughter is going to be
一定会超开心的 我的天 so happy when she wears this. Oh my goodness.
这人一定是个星战粉 你看... 尤达宝宝 It must be a Star Wars person because... Oh, a little Yoda.
因为现在开设的公厕也不多了 Because there aren't many public toilets open anymore,
很多地方都搞临时设施 而这些临设也用了很多年了 a lot of places have temporary solutions that sometimes stay up for years.
为数不多几家还开放的公厕也破烂不堪 The handful of bathrooms that are still open are in pitiful shape.
政府通常会把厕所门拆掉 以防人们 The city usually takes the doors off the stalls to discourage people from
在里面干坏事 doing bad stuff in there.
所以 你可能需要... so you might need to...
随身携带一条毯子 在公厕中保护一点隐私 bring a blanket with you to give yourself a little privacy in the bathroom.
里面也没什么厕纸 There's usually also not any toilet paper
因为看起来 政府对它们有别的安排 because it seems like the city has other uses for it.
布莱顿海滩有一个公共厕所真的很不错 There's one public restroom in Brighton Beach that's actually really nice
因为那里的工作人员真的在用心管理 and that's because the people that work there take really good care of it
还进行了装饰 and decorate it with stuff.
所以这像是圣诞树上放了爆米花吗 So this is like the Christmas tree stuff with the popcorn?
不 但我把它改成了... 我不知道怎么发音 犹太人的普林节 No, but I changed it to... I can't pronounce it, the Jewish... Purim
普林节 从那之后 我就迎接下一个假期 普林节 Purim. I went from that and then I went to the next holiday, the Purim.
是来这里的犹太人告诉我的 I learned from the Jewish people that come in here.
我这有马娅·安杰卢的海报 看到了吗 I got Maya Angelou. See?
我的狗狗 新年快乐 别酒后驾车 我还加了"祈祷" Hey, My doggy. Happy New Year's. Please don't drink and drive. I added "pray."
大概三年前有位女士从曼哈顿过来 Maybe three years ago a lady came from Manhattan.
她本来打算从维拉萨诺大桥上跳下去 She was gonna go jump off the Verrazano Bridge,
然后她看到了一块告示 but then she read one of these signs
然后就开始失声痛哭 and she just got hysterical crying.
所以你救了一个意图自杀的女人 So you saved a woman from potential suicide?
-是的 -纽约其他公厕要怎么做才能变成这样 - Yes. - What would it take for other New York restrooms to look like this?
我先声明 我不是想抱怨 But first of all, I'm not supposed to brag.
我们用了自己的钱 We use our own funds, our own money.
-这里的一切 都花的我们自己的钱 -真的吗 Everything in here, we use our money. Really?
嗯 所有的一切都是自己花钱的 Yes, everything in here, we use our own money.
-好吧 -怎么了 亲爱的 - Oh, okay. - Yes, honey?
你能帮我叫辆出租吗
好的 Oh, okay.
政府只在2008年尝试解决过公厕问题 The city's only effort to solve the restroom problem was in 2008
他们开设了五个自动清洁厕所 when they installed five self-cleaning restrooms
来覆盖所有五个自治市镇 to service the whole all five boroughs.
进入需要花25美分 It cost 25 cents to get in
还有15分钟的使用时限 and there's a 15-minute time limit.
好奇它到底是如何自动清洁的 You're curious how it cleans itself
然后你会意识到 地板其实就是个大型按钮 and you realize the floor is actually a button.
如果你坐在洗手池上 And if you sit on the sink,
你就能骗过它 让它以为你已经不在了 you can trick the bathroom into thinking that you're gone.
因为可供选择的公厕不多 Because there aren't many public options,
很多排泄行为就发生在光天化日之下 most bathroom activity just ends up happening outside.
有那么多人会在纽约的某些地方随处小便 So many people urinate on certain areas of New York
以至于店主每天早上要用漂白剂给人行道做个大清洗 that every morning the shop owners will cover the sidewalk in bleach
来清除异味 in order to eliminate the odor.
他们还开始封住宜家展示区的马桶盖 They also started screwing down the toilet lids in the showroom at IKEA
以防人们使用它 to prevent people from using them.
但如果你仔细检查下的话 But as you were checking them out,
唯一没被封住的马桶里面全是尿 the only one that wasn't secure was actually filled with pee.
你都可以闻到 You could smell it.
纽约每隔几个街区 And every few blocks in New York
你常常能看见这种瓶子 you'll usually see one of these bottles
通常都装着那些没能及时找到厕所的人的尿液 which are typically filled with urine from someone who couldn't find a bathroom in time.
你好吗 有时间吗 How's it going? Do you have a second?
对于日班司机来说 So the day drivers,
白天他们要上厕所很难 所以他们就用瓶子 it's harder for the people in the daytime to use the bathroom so they use a bottle.
我看到地上到处都是瓶子 And I see the bottles of piss all over the floor sometimes.
找不到厕所的时候 每个人都有憋尿的独门诀窍 Everyone has different ways of holding it in when they can't find a bathroom.
但如果你有足够的钱 But if you have enough money,
你可能就无需担心了 you actually might not need to worry about that.
有一种情形我将其称之为"汉普顿膀胱" So there is a condition that I dubbed Hamptons Bladder which is
这是基于从纽约开车前往汉普顿 a condition based on the idea that a drive from New York City to the
通常需要三到六小时车程的事实 Hamptons takes anywhere from three to six hours.
用肉毒杆菌注射膀胱可以放松膀胱的肌肉 Injecting the bladder with Botox relaxes the muscle of your bladder.
这样你不必中途停下 可直接到达汉普顿 That should be able to get you out to the Hamptons without you having to stop.
"汉普顿膀胱"对你的生活有什么影响 How has Hamptons Bladder affected your life?
你知道 我... Yeah, you know, I think I've...
因为太难找到厕所 我已经失去了不少朋友... lost a couple of friends just by having difficulty finding bathrooms and...
-等等 他们去世了吗 -不不 不是去世了 - Wait, like they died? - No, not that they died, just that they,
他们希望我可以无中生有 you know, they wanted to be, they wanted me to find a bathroom where,
找到个厕所 有趣的是 you know, none existed. The interesting thing is one of,
俄国彼得大帝中的一位在五十多岁时死于尿潴留 Peter the Great in Russia actually died of urinary retention in his 50s,
大概发生在16世纪 差不多那段时间 you know, back in the 16th century or whenever that happened.
-你们知道这事吗 -我不知道 - Wow, did you guys know that? - I wasn't aware of it, no.
根据城市官方网站 According to the official city website,
他们实际上建议人们去私人商户解手 they actually recommend going into private businesses to relieve yourself.
但这样你总是需要买些东西 But you often need to buy something,
所以你可以从外面的垃圾堆里找张小票 so you can always just get a receipt from the trash outside,
上面有厕所密码的那种 uh, with a bathroom code on it,
然后像普通顾客一样进门 and just go in afterwards like a normal customer.
如果你最近去了哈德逊城园区 You went to go visit Hudson Yards recently,
那是在曼哈顿西部的一个新城市综合体 which is a new development on the west side of Manhattan.
你真的想上厕所 You really had to pee,
但当你询问厕所在哪儿 but when you asked where the restroom was,
事实证明你必须横跨整个购物中心 里面的保安还都穿着燕尾服 it turns out you have to walk through a mall filled with security guards in tuxedos,
然后上扶梯 then up an escalator,
走过一条走廊 再一条走廊 and down a long hallway, then another hallway,
当你就要在无印良品门口溃不成军 and then right before you collapse in in front of Muji,
厕所就在你左手边 the bathrooms should be on your left.
而当你终于解决完毕 And when you're finally done in there,
你可以看看他们的吸睛设计 you can go check out their new attraction,
是个没有目的地的闪亮楼梯 你还得付费去爬 which is a shiny staircase to nowhere that you have to pay to climb.
但它其实没有开放 因为 But it was actually closed, uh, because
因为他们没法阻止人们从那儿自杀 they couldn't stop people from killing themselves on it.
好像这是不允许拍摄的 It seems like you're also not allowed to film this thing,
不久之后就会有警察找上门来 so you might be approached by the cops after a while.
我不拍了 马上就走 你们不会再见到我 I'm done, I'm gonna walk away, you'll never see me again.
-我们得知道你是谁 -我不会把证件给你 - We need to know who you are. - I'm not gonna give you my ID.
我不会把证件给你 这根本没道理 I'm not gonna give you my ID, there's no reason for that.
下次你再这么做 就会因非法侵入而被捕 Just know, next time you do this, you can be arrested for trespassing.
完全理解 这地方拒人于千里之外 我再也不会来 Completely understand, this place was already inhospitable enough and I'll never return.
很好 祝你今天愉快 Great, have a great day.
在纽约 你越来越难分辨 It's getting harder to tell in New York
哪些是公共空间 哪里又是私人场所 where public spaces end and private spaces begin.
商户经常会制定奇奇怪怪的规则筛选掉一部分客人 Businesses often have weird rules that try to keep certain people out,
你也判断不了是不是自己做错了 and you can't always tell if you're doing something wrong.
你能报警吗 Can you call the police, please?
这里是私人场所 我们不知道你在拍什么 Well, this is a private space and we don't know what you're filming and
-你也不告诉我们你在拍什么 -我在找厕所 - you're not telling us what you're filming. - I'm just trying to find a bathroom.
-你能离开吗 -好的 - Can you just go? - Okay, I'll go.
或许有一天 唯一剩下的公共空间就是人行道了 Maybe one day, the only public place left will be the sidewalk,
但 也不知道能存续多久 but who knows for how long.
纽约有一个街区名叫 "洞穴" There's one neighborhood in New York called The Hole
你前往肯尼迪机场的路上常常会经过那 that you usually pass on the way to get to JFK.
它低于海平面 It's actually below sea level,
所以它并没有联通城市的污水处理系统 so it's not connected to the city's sewage system.
所以很多污水就留在了街上 So a lot of the sewage just ends up in the street.
这里的水 如果你碰了 就会长虱子 This water here, if it touch you, you could get cooties.
这些是虱子臭水 你看 屎就从那里出来 Those are cootie waters. Right there, the shit come out of.
-就从那里出来... -对 就是那 - That's where it comes out of the... - Yeah, right there.
他妈的脏得要死的污水 Filthy fucking sewage water.
我他妈才没用屎污染这鬼玩意 I'm not polluting this motherfucker with no shit water.
我住在那边 当我想上厕所 I'm living in that grid there, and when I want to use the bathroom,
我就在自己家里上 然后把它包好 I got to use the bathroom inside of my place, wrap up my stuff,
-然后把它带到一个街区之外 看到了吗 -嗯 - and carry it one block away. Look, see? - Yeah.
每周四 有人开卡车来 把它们装车带走 And every Thursday, the guy come with the truck, and he pick them up, and he take them with him.
我来这儿已经八年了 I've been in this neighborhood eight years,
但我已经在路边住了三年了 but I've been living on the side of the road here for three years now.
-我们有床 有电视 -你都看些什么 - Yeah, we got bed, we got TV, everything. - What are you watching here?
我在看"冰路前行" I'm watching Ice Road Truckers.
好的 Oh, okay.
你床上的是什么东西 What is all this stuff on your bed?
那是安全套 That's some condoms.
-都是安全套吗 -女生给我的 - Oh, they're condoms? - The girl gave me those.
她给了我一大袋 但我现在不用 我现在没女朋友 She give me a whole bag of condoms. I don't use them though, because I ain't got no girlfriend now.
好吧 这安全套是真不少 Oh, okay. That's a lot of condoms.
-她可能给了我一千多个 -这样 Yeah, she gave me like a thousand condoms. - Okay.
生活在城市网络外的人 People who live in off the grid,
-生活非常艰难 -是啊 你知道的 - it's much harder to live off the grid. - Oh, big time, you know that.
但也是提前做准备 以防这地方陷入混乱 But it's like a preparation in case the place is in a disarray.
我会帮助那些不适应这种生活方式的人 I will be the one who gonna have to help the people, them who don't know about this type of living.
你知道他们现在在讨论什么吗 You know what they're talking about now, right?
如果纽约要经历一场核爆炸怎么办 What if New York were to go through a nuclear explosion?
然后我就跟自己说... And I was just saying to myself...
你已经住在郊外了 You're living outside already.
是啊 我跟自己说 如果我们要把房车挂上卡车 Yeah, I was saying to myself, if we were to decide to hook up our trailers to our trucks
然后上山去 我们就能活下来 and head for the hills, we would live.
-我们能活下来 -没错 - We would make it. - We would make it.
但如果是住在那边高楼大厦里的人... But you take somebody from one of those buildings up there to try to come...
他们没法活下来 他们就不知道怎么生存 They wouldn't survive. Because they don't know how to survive.
-水 光源 燃气 -所有这些 - Water, light, gas. - All this stuff.
这些生活必需品 都是生存 You know, those essentials are like the basic things that you need, you know,
最基本的东西 但如果把这三样夺走 to survive. But you take those three things away,
他们就不知道要怎么办 完全陷入混乱 不知所措了 they wouldn't know what to do. They're in a total disarray. They wouldn't know what to do.
一团糟 那时候在这生活的经验就派上用场了 Total disarray. It makes you very resourceful living off the grid. Oh yeah.
最近 这些奇怪的捉鬼敢死队海报 Recently, these strange Ghostbusters themed posters started to
开始遍布纽约 提醒着居民 pop up all over New York, telling residents to
为即将发生的坏事做好准备 prepare for something bad that's about to happen.
与此同时 政府发布一则奇怪的公共服务公告 And around the same time, the city released a weird PSA
让你为其他未知的灾难做准备 asking you to prepare for some other unspecified disaster.
所以发生了核袭击 不要问我怎么会或为什么 So there's been a nuclear attack. Don't ask me how or why.
就知道大事发声了 好吗 Just know that the big one has hit, okay?
我们该怎么办 So what do we do?
如果注定要出大事 If the big one were to come,
你真的不堪一击 也没有什么帮助生存的东西 you would be totally vulnerable and wouldn't have anything you'd need to survive.
你只有够吃一天半的蓝纹奶酪 You'd only have enough blue cheese for about a day and a half.
你得靠自己产奶 You'd have to make your own milk somehow.
但当你出门 你没看到任何世界末日的显著迹象 But when you walk outside, you don't really see any immediate signs of Armageddon.
但你去商店里买 But you go to the store and buy a
折叠小刀和一加仑的水 以防万一 pocket knife and a gallon of water just in case.
然后在最糟糕的时候 你的马桶坏了 And then at the worst possible time, your toilet breaks.
所以你叫来了管道工 他说是些非常实心的东西造成了堵塞 So you call the plumber and he says there's something really dense causing the blockage.
他说他也不知道是什么 He said you didn't have the faintest idea of what it could be.
完全不知道 No idea.
他说需要几天时间进入墙内更换一些东西 He said that we'd need a few days to get into the walls and replace something.
所以在修好之前 你必须变得更足智多谋 So until it's fixed, you're just gonna have to become more resourceful
去一些意想不到的地方寻找厕所 and find bathrooms and places you hadn't really considered before.
很不错 这房子挂出去多久了 Very nice. How long has this been on the market?
差不多一周 About a week.
你们在干嘛呢 这是个派对巴士吗 Hey, what are you guys doing? Is this a party bus?
看着是啊 我们准备去看演出 Yeah, it looks like it. We're getting ready for the show.
-演出在哪 -森林山 去看ODESZA - So where's the show? - Forest Hills, New York. Going to see ODESZA.
-有些人已经去了六次了 -真的吗 我能去吗 - Some of these guys six times. - Oh really? Can I come?
我们还要多久到... 20分钟吗 好的 How much longer until we... 20 minutes? Okay.
你是过几岁生日 How old are you turning?
-我要28岁了 -真的吗 这年纪很不错 - I'm turning 28. - Oh really? That's a good year.
-还有三分钟就到了 -我们到了吗 - We are three minutes away. - Are we here?
好的 大家看演出愉快 All right, well have fun at the concert guys.
这样确实要多花不少精力 It was definitely taking a lot more effort this way,
但寻找厕所会让你打开一些从没开过的门 but looking for a bathroom opened doors you may have never entered before.
卢·里德曾经来过这里 Lou Reed was here once.
当然在中间你会看到一个祭坛... And of course in the center you'll find an altar with...
可能让你失望了 上面没有血迹 sorry to disappoint, no blood stains.
这是男洗手间 And this is the men's room? It's just a men's room, yeah.
寻找最罕见的厕所成了一场令人激动的追逐战 Finding the rarest bathroom became an exciting pursuit
你会想知道自己能承受的极限在哪里 and you became determined to see how far you could take it.
你必须通水 然后有个水泵 You have to have water and then you have to have a pump. Okay.
-你要去哪儿 -我要去参加火人节 So where are you going with this? I'm going to Burning Man.
很酷 Cool.
我能一起去吗 Can I come?
我觉得... I mean...
-会有人尝试溜进火人节吗 -当然 - Do people try to sneak into Burning Man? - Of course.
有人会尝试藏在房车里 但现在不容易成功了 People try to sneak in in RVs. It's really difficult these days because
他们更注重整体体验 但你可以进去 they're kind of on to the whole experience, but like you could run in.
里面的厕所怎么样 What's that bathroom situation like in there?
那里有超多移动厕所 简直随处可见 There is a plethora of porta potties. Like you can find a bathroom everywhere.
-还不错 -那太棒了 So that's nice. Oh awesome.
她说这是一个鼓励自由表达的地方 She said it was a place that encouraged free expression.
一个人们会互赠礼物 A society of people who give each other
并且在各个地方建大型雕塑的社区 gifts and build big sculptures everywhere.
对 她在弄 她要帮我做个袋子 Yeah, she's pumping. She's making the bags for me.
你确实在最后时刻弄到了一张票 You actually did manage to get a last-minute ticket
然后一整个星期都在这拍摄 and spent an entire week filming there.
这是你做过最困难的事情 It was the hardest thing you've ever done
但你对自己拍摄的东西很满意 and you were really proud of what you shot,
然而你被告知不能使用任何一段录像 but you were eventually told that you couldn't use any of the footage
因为有另一个纪录片团队 because another documentary crew negotiated for
已经谈下了当年的独家拍摄权 结果其中一些拍摄人员 exclusive rights to film that year. It turns out some of the film crew were
实际上曾是NXIVM性邪教组织的成员 actually former NXIVM members who made that TV
制作了纪录片"誓言" show The Vow.
你在酒店房间呆了两天 You sat in the hotel room for two days
尝试跟他们交涉 但他们仍然拒绝 trying to negotiate, but they still refused to
让你使用自己的录像 let you use what you shot.
你崩溃了 You were crushed.
你收获了一种有史以来 It was the most creatively constipated
最具创造性的便秘感 you've ever felt
你开始咒骂整个火人节组织团队是那么的伪君子 and you resented the whole Burning Man organization for being such hypocrites.
最终你还是只能举白旗认输 So you finally just threw in the towel and gave up.
你不希望自己的西部之旅一无所获 You didn't want your trip out west to be a net loss
所以在回去的路上你安排了一次采访 so you set up an interview on the way back with
觉得他会对剧集有所帮助 someone you thought might be good for the episode.
我是史蒂夫·萨维奇 人们也叫我臭臭史蒂夫 I'm Steve Savage, otherwise known as Stinky Steve and
我在德州中西部做化粪池的生意 I'm in the septic business here in central west Texas.
-这里生意怎么样 -阿比林南部有不少回头客 How's business here? - I mean I've got some repeat customers just south of Abilene.
现在还在打造很多细分市场 That's where a lot of the subdivisions are kind of being built.
厕所里还有只狗狗 Oh there's a dog in your bathroom.
嗯 她叫洛拉 洛拉 Yeah that's Lola. Oh Lola.
你这里有化粪池吗 Do you have a septic tank here?
-这屋子里吗 -嗯 -这里没有 我在发射井里面弄 - At this house? - Yeah. - I do not, but I do at the silo.
-在发射井吗 -嗯 发射井里有化粪池 但目前为止 - At the silo? - Yeah the silo has the septic. I don't have it
我还没将它运行起来 因为我没有 functioning yet as far as that goes because I don't have the pump
在发射井里安装泵 没法把污水泵到处理厂 installed yet in the silo to pump the sewage to the deal, but I'll
-我甚至还没在里面装厕所 -发射井是什么 - but I don't even have the bathroom hooked up in there yet. - What's the silo?
-发射井是啥 -导弹发射井 - What's the silo? - The missile silo.
所以这部分就是导弹所在的位置 So this part right here like where that missile is.
地下的结构就是我打算造房子 The that structure that's underground is where I'm building my house
-或者是作为我未来的住所 -真的吗 - or my future residence to live in that. - Oh really?
-那部分地产里边有个化粪池 -什么 - And so that has that actually has a septic tank on the property. - What?
这里就是阿特拉斯F导弹发射井的入口 Right here is the entry to an Atlas F
它的发射控制中心 它被设计为一种 missile silo the launch control center. It was designed as a
报复性武器 像是对抗苏联的某种防范措施 retaliation weapon like an insurance policy against the Soviet Union to
以防止第三次世界大战爆发 kind of prevent World War III.
我们大概在距底部150到160英尺的地方 We are probably about 150 to 160 foot above the bottom of this.
所以从那儿摔下就是摔了十八层楼 So I could fall 18 stories down there?
扶着点栏杆 确保你手一直扶着 And hang on to that rail. Just make sure you're always holding on to something.
如果你掉下去 根本没办法救你上来 If you fall down there's no way of getting you out of there.
这里会是主卧室 This is going to be the master bedroom
配上主卫 所以床会放在这里 with the master bath right there. So somewhere a bed will end up in here,
-同时我还有空气床垫 -你这里还有即食餐 - but in the meantime I had that air mattress. - You got MREs here?
是啊 这样方便一点 你会喜欢这个的 Yeah you know I did that for sits and grins. You're gonna love this.
-这是我的游戏间 -什么 - This is my fun room. - What?
他们原来在这里发射导弹 This is where they launched the missile from
而现在这像个临时游戏室 and right now it's just kind of a temporary game room.
有段时间我非常努力 想把这里全收拾好 There was a point where I was out here working on it so much trying to get it all done.
但这给婚姻带来了一些压力 导致了一些冲突 That it did it put a little bit of a strain on the marriage that causes some conflict.
我们分开了大概六个月 所以... We were split up for about six months. So...
你一个人在这下面住了大概六个月吗 You were living down here for six months by yourself?
嗯 大概是六个月 Yeah about six months.
这些人是HBO的 他们在做小型纪录片 我会上HBO Yeah these these guys are with HBO. They're making a little short documentary. I'm gonna be on HBO.
现在你也会上HBO But now you might be.
我也不知道 那个发射井... So I don't know I mean with the silo
有时候我不知道我们会不会搬到那里 真的不知道 I mean sometimes I wonder if we will move out there. You know I just don't know.
我们确实遇到了困难 我和史蒂夫 We did hit a rough patch. Me and Steve
过去的一年确实出了点矛盾 但我们在努力解决 did hit a rough patch this past year but we are working on it.
让这事过去 我们在努力的几点是 You know to move past it and so some of the things we're working on is
让他多花点时间陪我们 以及 you know him spending more time with us and
他别那么强迫我们搬到那边去 you know he's not pushing us to go out there so much.
那下面确实很安静 甚至连天气都感知不到 Because it's pretty quiet down there. You don't really know even the weather.
-不知道天气怎么样 -你可以听到雷声 - What's going on with the weather. - You can hear thunder.
那是我会觉得遗憾的地方 如果我们搬到那里 That's that's the one thing I will miss. You know if we do move in there it's just not being able to hear
就听不到雨声 我会想出去看看是不是下雪了 the rain. Just look out and see if the snow you
这里每年确实会下一次雪 know did it snow the one time of the year that it snows here or you
你会想知道外面的世界什么样 know what it looks like outside.
你可以在外面放个摄影机 You just put cameras out there.
看来即便你对于灾难有所准备 Seems like even if you are prepared for a disaster
适应新环境确实需要很长一段时间 the reality of your new environment would take some getting used to.
如果真的会有大事发生 And if the big one were to come
不知道会是谁 it's unclear who
不知道谁还会在你身边 who else would still be around.
你询问是否还有类似的地方 You asked if there were any other places like this
他告诉你另外一个他知道的地堡 and he told you about another bunker he knew about.
那是在华盛顿特区附近一家酒店的地下 It was underneath a hotel near Washington DC
那是在应对核袭击时 that was built as a secure place for Congress
为保护国会议员建造的 in the event of a nuclear attack.
在浮雕舞厅 你可以看到大型派对 绝妙舞蹈 The cameo ballroom is where you would find large parties, wonderful dances,
美丽的水晶吊灯 balls, beautiful crystal chandelier.
布拉德·帕斯利这个夏天来了 阿方索·里贝罗 Brad Paisley was here this summer. Alfonso Ribeiro was here
几年前的夏天也和家人过来了 a couple summers ago with his family.
所以在冷战期间 万一出现核袭击事件 So during the cold war in case of a nuclear disaster this is where
我们的参众两院就会搬到这里 our house and senate would have relocated to
继续他们的工作 to continue doing their job.
这门有多重 Wow how heavy is this door?
这门有18吨重 This door is actually 18 tons.
这里是核去污流程的开始 So this is the start of the decontamination process.
他们必须衣物都脱下 They're going to have to take
衣物都会被立即焚毁 everything off and everything would be immediately incinerated.
这宿舍有着60到65个床位 This was a dormitory with 60 to 65 beds
这里还有防暴装备 and there would also be riot gear.
这是用来保护里面的人不自相残杀吗 The riot gear is to protect the people in here from each other?
是的 From each other.
所以他们得确保 So they had to make sure
这些人能活下来 并且我们的政府正常运作管理国家 that they survived and that our government would continue running our country.
你还会想再进入那样的世界吗 Like is there any kind of world that you would
如果真的出现这种灾难 not want to re-enter? Like if there were such a fallout?
如果我们的地球真的被完全破坏 植被损毁殆尽 Well if we have complete devastation and there's no vegetation, there's no
动物灭绝 我不想进入那样的世界 animals left, I don't want to be a part of that
不想苟活于世 world to try to figure out how to sustain life.
如果真的发生那种情况 我不愿意留在世界上 So yes I would not want to be here in that situation.
这里是指挥室 我们的众议院 This is the briefing room and this is where our representatives
就是在这向选民发表讲话 would have addressed their constituents from.
那这就是直播的背景图了 Then that would be the background for the broadcast?
没错 如果你用一张满目疮痍的照片 Correct. If you have a photo of devastation and destruction,
人们会惊慌失措 you're going to be scared.
人们会想要逃跑 这不能帮助大家冷静下来 You're going to want to flee and this is going to help calm everyone down.
但这不是营造了一种幻象吗 明明白宫已经破损 但图上没有 Like wouldn't it just be like an illusion that the white house was intact even if it wasn't?
确实 但我们就是需要一种幻象 It would, but it would be an illusion that we would need.
有了这个 真的能 Us having this would really calm
帮助大家冷静下来 再坚持一下 我们能挺过去 everyone down and say hey just hold on a minute, we can get through
他们在为我们想办法 this. They're trying to find a solution for us.
-所以这是国会议员会用的厕所 -对 - So this is the bathroom Congress would have used? - Yes.
请自便 Help yourself.
很高兴知道 即使真的有坏事发生 So it's good to know that if anything really bad does happen,
一切依然会照常进行 everything will still be able to run the same way.
即使这些古老的遗迹不再发挥它应有的作用 And even if these old relics don't function the way they should anymore,
但至少它们能让我们心怀希望 at least they provide us with images that make us hopeful.
明天一切会更好 That things will get better tomorrow.
如果你不能在火人节拍摄 And if you can't film at Burning Man,
你还是可以利用自己家里的东西 you can always just make do with what you have at home.
因为如果我们所有的公共空间都终将私人化 Because if all our public spaces are eventually going to become private,
那我们都应该习惯 then we should all get used to seeing
在公共场合看到我们的私人物品 our private stuff in public.
我是约翰·威尔逊 感谢你的收看 This is John Wilson, thanks for watching.