1
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,310
各位鬼大哥

2
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,750
我现在烧点零用钱给你们用

3
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,870
不要客气 尽管拿去花

4
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,340
我见过的人很多

5
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,750
我还从来没见过

6
00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,430
像你这么婆婆妈妈的男人

7
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:01,310
什么叫婆婆妈妈?

8
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,630
今天是七月半

9
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,790
所以烧点零用钱给那些鬼用

10
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,150
做人没钱已经够糗了

11
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,910
做鬼没钱那不是更惨吗?

12
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,710
一张就是五千万

13
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:17,990
这些钱加起来

14
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,550
连王永庆都比不上

15
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,270
做鬼比做人好 我宁愿去做鬼

16
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,070
你别急 很快就轮到你了

17
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,390
上面叫我们到坑口去查案

18
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,140
闸门打开了

19
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,790
一大群马一字排开冲了出来

20
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:36,990
三号大力士领先了

21
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,950
它领先了半个马头

22
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:40,990
大力士一路领先了

23
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,390
加点油 跑快点

24
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,230
第一名一定跑不掉了

25
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:48,070
加点油 这次我赢定了

26
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,830
第三名是六号的龙腾虎跃

27
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,550
大力士反而到了第四名

28
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,550
妈的 这匹烂马总是后劲不足

29
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,510
干脆跳楼算了

30
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:57,670
你每次都说要跳楼

31
00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,190
你怎么老没摔死呀?

32
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,020
没什么状况 走吧

33
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,630
依据警长刚讲的

34
00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,940
没状况并不表示没问题

35
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,710
闭上你的乌鸦嘴好不好?

36
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,830
快点 我女儿等我回去吃饭的

37
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,790
少来了 你还不是想去见女朋友

38
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,270
关你什么事

39
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:24,830
你不走我走 你干脆走路回去

40
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,300
没几条街就到了

41
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:56,860
干什么的?

42
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,420
不许动 警察

43
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,270
不许动

44
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,310
还跑

45
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:43,940
你别想跑

46
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:45,990
别动

47
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,430
如果你再动

48
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,070
当心我一枪打烂你的头

49
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,500
你糗大了

50
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,190
你这死老鬼

51
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,420
你好臭

52
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,350
这叫有味道

53
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,950
看不到我的样子 就闻到我的香味了

54
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,150
手脚俐落点

55
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:19,990
是

56
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,510
不行 要是真在货仓找到什么证据

57
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:24,870
他一个人搞得定吗

58
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,870
我还是回去看一看

59
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,270
阿标...

60
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,030
张标

61
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,270
寿西斯古

62
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,350
马可斯

63
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:49,820
难道说我已经死了?

64
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,310
赌鬼警察借高利贷无法偿还

65
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,590
只有自杀

66
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,660
这写得不对

67
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,980
我是追查贩毒集团被人谋杀的

68
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,390
你知不知道是谁杀了你?

69
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,670
我没看清楚他的样子

70
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,790
那你愿不愿意承认是自杀呢?

71
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,430
我不承认

72
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,870
那就死因不明了

73
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,310
大人

74
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,750
能不能让我回去重新调查一下?

75
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,310
你以为这里是宾馆? 可以随便出入

76
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,750
大人 你我都是公务员

77
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,150
能不能给我行个方便?

78
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,510
方便? 那就看你懂不懂规矩了

79
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:24,750
规矩?

80
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,630
这合用吗?

81
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:32,620
合用

82
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:33,270
我走了

83
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,950
慢点 你回去有两件事情要记着

84
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,670
如果有这种痣的 就是你的救星

85
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,270
如果是这样的 就是你的克星

86
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,910
还有 这是私人的礼物

87
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:45,900
干什么?

88
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,870
里面有很多符咒你用得着的

89
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,630
符咒? 我怎么找救星?

90
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,070
你是警察 当然是回警察局去找

91
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,110
警察局

92
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,440
坐好 几号房?

93
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,270
一号

94
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:30,590
一号

95
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,430
二号

96
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,510
三号

97
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:13,910
玩个游戏

98
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:19,900
牌子给我

99
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,380
猜中就是你的

100
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:25,910
看清楚

101
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:37,630
再玩一次

102
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:38,590
教官来了

103
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:09,630
你真行

104
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,310
不过没有用 我来分

105
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:27,310
一号

106
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,590
二号

107
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,510
三号

108
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,030
进来 不要怕

109
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,430
过去

110
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:45,820
把裤子脱掉

111
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,100
快一点

112
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:50,790
等一下

113
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:00,900
你干什么?

114
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:01,900
挡一下嘛

115
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,180
挡得住吗?

116
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,260
挡住...

117
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,350
我看到了

118
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:08,990
他们看不到嘛

119
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,110
转过身去

120
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:12,830
趴下

121
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,110
这臭小子是我的救星

122
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:19,990
趴下

123
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:22,790
趴下干什么?

124
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,870
给你做深入检查 趴下

125
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:26,270
深入检查

126
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,110
快点      喂... 不...

127
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:27,950
趴下

128
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,230
我的救星 天知道谁救谁?

129
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,350
不要...

130
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,430
快点趴下 深入检查

131
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,150
趴下

132
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,990
小姐 你最好跟我们合作点

133
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,550
我不是跟你很合作吗?

134
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,390
谁叫你在那边坐台的?

135
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,990
坐台? 什么叫坐台 警官?

136
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,510
少耍花样了 死丫头

137
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,390
谁跟你耍花样?

138
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,190
是你叫我坐在这里的

139
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,310
你还敢顶嘴?

140
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,910
我哪敢乱顶

141
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:08,820
还说没顶

142
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,790
有病啊 只有你能顶我

143
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,340
我哪敢乱顶你呀

144
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:19,630
早

145
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,030
长官

146
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,140
长官 hi

147
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,430
打扰你一下 你好吗?

148
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:34,550
有人在家吗?

149
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:36,990
对不起

150
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,660
怎么是你啊?

151
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:45,710
是我呀

152
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,070
你是谁?

153
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,870
警员1997今天来报到

154
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,630
总部怎么会派这种人来

155
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,070
你干什么?

156
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,190
你老爸在叫你

157
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,590
是你老爸

158
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,870
这个人因为好赌 惹上高利贷没钱还

159
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:17,870
开枪跳楼自杀身亡 还你老爸咧

160
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:18,630
对不起 真不好意思

161
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:19,910
少啰嗦 跟我来

162
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:31,750
来这儿干嘛?

163
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:32,710
你说呢?

164
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,110
好

165
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:37,910
警官 小便啊?

166
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:38,830
你猜?

167
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:43,940
抬脚 抬脚呀

168
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,110
干什么?

169
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,380
脚拿开

170
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,430
你怎么搞的? 大婶

171
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:52,990
这是男厕所 你进来干什么?

172
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,510
你问我进来干什么?

173
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,870
我拖了十几年的地了

174
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,350
你当我是来参观的

175
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,510
真是的 什么大鸟小鸟我没见过

176
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:07,830
真丢人

177
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:10,670
你侮辱我呀你?

178
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:12,990
警官 你就别跟她斗嘴了

179
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,870
要是把她惹毛了 你担不起的

180
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:16,910
她是什么人啊?

181
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,350
人间硕果仅存千岁的老处女了

182
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,820
你要是把她的千岁的欲火挑起来

183
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,870
我们全警局的人都不够看

184
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,380
你行不行?

185
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:33,310
324 325 326 32...

186
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:45,630
327 328 329 330...

187
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,750
大美人

188
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,950
300... 二我数了多少?

189
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,310
332

190
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,190
谢谢你

191
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,340
332

192
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,820
关你个屁事呀 把门关上

193
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,670
你们两个进来干什么?

194
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,710
没什么 我带他进来领枪的

195
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,550
过来

196
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,630
编号多少?

197
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:09,750
一九九七

198
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:23,940
在这里签个名

199
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,100
你是刚来的

200
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:39,870
我给你一个简单的任务

201
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,950
我已经派了两个女警员

202
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,230
在一家按摩院中做卧底

203
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,630
你上去跟她们联络

204
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,350
等到时机到了 你就表露身分

205
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,030
把他们一网打尽 就这么简单

206
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,020
这还简单?

207
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,310
废话 复杂的找你做吗?

208
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,670
卧底是谁?

209
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,630
那两个卧底的女警她们穿着洞洞袜

210
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,150
你到上面只要跟她们说出了

211
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,140
这次行动的暗号之后

212
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,300
她们就会接应你

213
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:03,870
什么暗号?

214
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:04,830
从今开始(越南话)

215
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,390
那你呢?

216
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,990
我在这里控制整个行动的进行

217
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,110
随时支援你们

218
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,030
就这么决定了 快上去吧

219
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,390
先睡一觉吧

220
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,270
老板 怎么样? 要找小姐?

221
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,590
这边请

222
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,310
你请...

223
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,270
我们的小姐都是一流的

224
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,500
您慢慢看

225
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,150
谢谢

226
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,310
这儿挑不到的话 香港就没女人了

227
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,430
您尽管挑

228
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,350
我想先看看她们的腿

229
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,030
样子是不要紧 不过这...

230
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,390
...女人的腿要美才行

231
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,620
可以...

232
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,790
来... 小姐 把裙子拉高一点

233
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,260
让老板看一看 拉高一点二

234
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:02,980
怎么样?

235
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:04,710
不错

236
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,510
那您看上哪一个了?

237
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,190
全要

238
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:11,950
全要?

239
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,500
不行吗?

240
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,830
可以... 都起来... 一起玩个愉快

241
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,400
快走啦...

242
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,190
别猴急嘛

243
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,380
一次要六个 真他妈凯子爹

244
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,750
你搞什么鬼? 弄这么久还没弄好

245
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,990
这双网袜弄得我好痒 烦死人了

246
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,270
怎么她们都不见了?

247
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,310
这样不是更好吗?

248
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:41,510
上来接应我们的那个家伙

249
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,790
一定不会认错人的

250
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,910
慢着... 不要这么冲动嘛

251
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,430
等一下 听我说一句很重要的话

252
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,910
从今开始(越南话)

253
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,710
香港已对越南船民实施新政策(越南话)

254
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,590
从此以后 凡因经济问题(越南话)

255
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,190
以船民身份进入香港者(越南话)

256
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,070
将被视作非法入境者(越南话)

257
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,190
好棒...

258
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,590
不过你们都没有搞懂我的意思

259
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,230
我们懂 我们都是从越南来的

260
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,270
对不起 我走错地方了

261
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:13,540
不好意思

262
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,220
老大 你不要冲动

263
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,950
瞧了就走

264
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,100
就是嘛

265
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,550
臭小子 想干什么?

266
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,990
其实我是个大专学生

267
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,590
想做个问卷调查

268
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,070
是关于野鸡... 不 就是妓女

269
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,390
学生 哪一系?

270
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,350
毛毛系

271
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,500
毛毛系?

272
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:33,790
鸳鸯毛毛系

273
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,670
也就是那一种...

274
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:42,030
你会懂的啦 告辞了

275
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,510
学生证呢?

276
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,950
学生证又不是身分证

277
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,390
不需要随身携带的

278
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:49,860
你没听过吗?

279
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,110
学生? 我们才是真正的学生

280
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,390
这是学生证

281
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,710
是吗? 你哪一系的?

282
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,710
大专社会学系 在黑社会兼差

283
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:02,990
半工半读

284
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:08,350
真是令人佩服 继续努力

285
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,380
连警察你也敢非礼?

286
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,790
警察? 你敢消遣我? 把她们带过来

287
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,190
走啊 肥婆 走啊

288
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,590
你们好大的胆子 敢砸我地盘?

289
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,990
从今开始(越南话)

290
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,590
你们怎么这么晚才来?

291
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,740
不算晚了

292
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,830
全部趴下 我是警察

293
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,440
你干嘛玩枪? 你还在念书

294
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,830
很危险你知不知道?

295
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,670
还给我 你好乖

296
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:01,950
住手

297
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,310
叫你住手 你这呆子你想害死我

298
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,790
现在我不想打烂你的头

299
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,950
我要打烂你的嘴

300
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,350
好脏啊

301
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,110
大佬 打爆他的头

302
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,750
我只不过是唬唬你就吓成这样

303
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,550
要是玩真的话 不是要尿一裤子吗?

304
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,230
救命呀

305
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,390
不要闹了...

306
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,510
这小子真是个弄种

307
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,990
不要...

308
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,350
什么事...

309
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,190
都搞定了?

310
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:13,070
搞定了

311
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,270
你这只猫真坏 又在神台上拉屎

312
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:24,790
好臭呀

313
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,430
对不起 祖师爷

314
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,910
弟子有请茅山祖师附身授法

315
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,070
有请老祖师大显威灵

316
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,390
手长脚长 样样都可以长

317
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,710
孽畜

318
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,350
蟑螂擒拿手 孽畜 你还想跑

319
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,710
对不起 祖师爷 我家太脏了

320
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,110
糟了 桃花劫

321
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,510
不行

322
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,950
阿玉 先不要走

323
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,510
爸 什么事呀?

324
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,380
你啊双脸泛红 眼冒春水 犯桃花

325
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,750
碰到男人可要当心

326
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,310
干嘛要我当心男人?

327
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,350
怕遭报应呀

328
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,630
爸 你又干了什么好事了?

329
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,710
少管这么多 反正当心就是了

330
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,830
好了 你不用担心

331
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,150
我走了 拜拜

332
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:56,550
早点回来

333
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,390
知道了

334
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,640
自作孽 平常老爱玩别人的女儿

335
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,230
现在自己女儿长这么大了

336
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,430
可别报应在阿玉身上那就惨了

337
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,180
出去了?

338
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,750
穿这么长的裙子

339
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,430
搞什么?

340
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,950
狗窝似的

341
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,230
这么脏怎么能住人呢? 真是

342
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:31,910
怎么又是你?

343
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,070
怎么会把个死人宿舍给我?

344
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:51,990
你别太过分

345
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,230
消防队... 不是 警察

346
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:07,580
挺神气的

347
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,180
你... 会... 说话

348
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,420
警察 编号199了

349
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,670
你最好不要说话

350
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,390
你有权不说话

351
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,390
你所要说的话将来会作为呈堂证供

352
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:34,750
请问大门在哪里?

353
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,230
谢谢

354
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,510
我调头跑

355
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,150
我不行了 我慢慢走

356
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,830
我一定是在做梦 还是白日梦

357
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:42,030
我有病 我是神经病了

358
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,790
我一定是神经病... 我有神经病了

359
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:52,830
不要玩了嘛

360
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:59,950
我说我不要玩 我要回家

361
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,910
你走不掉的

362
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:04,380
我重新再走一遍

363
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,230
我说过 你走不掉的 自讨苦吃

364
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,780
现在你相信我了?

365
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,070
相信

366
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,150
有什么好笑的?

367
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:37,710
我是在害怕

368
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:39,750
刚才你还没怕够呀?

369
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,790
我这个人就是这样子

370
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,670
你不要管我 有话你就说嘛

371
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,110
好 我告诉你

372
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,230
我有一个克星 还有一个救星

373
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,030
因为你的屁股长了梅花痣

374
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,550
所以你是我的救星

375
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:55,700
克星还没找到呢

376
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,990
我干嘛那么倒霉要当你的救星?

377
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,830
我怎么知道呢? 是上面说的

378
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,590
不要啦 我求求你

379
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,190
我又不认识你 你不要整我了

380
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,910
不是我想要整你

381
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:10,670
是上面要整我们两个

382
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,190
你以为你真的很了不起呀

383
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,190
在按摩院里面可以一个打九个呀

384
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,750
你以为你可以一口气

385
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:20,870
把那个女孩子的裙子给吹起来呀

386
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,030
原来是你

387
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,390
是我 这样好了

388
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,990
我可以帮你泡那个妞

389
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,420
你帮我的忙 怎么样?

390
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,670
不行呀 我不行的啦

391
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:34,660
你是不肯啊?

392
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,150
不行的啦

393
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,300
你真的不肯?

394
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:38,430
不要了...

395
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:39,870
好 那走着瞧

396
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,230
有鬼呀

397
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:48,510
长官

398
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:50,750
没事

399
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:51,670
神经病

400
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,350
你相不相信有鬼啊?

401
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,580
相信 是有鬼呀

402
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:57,620
那你有没有见过鬼呢?

403
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:58,550
没有

404
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,190
不知道见鬼是好还是不好?

405
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,790
如果他肯帮你 你就发了

406
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:04,670
是吗?

407
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:05,950
是呀

408
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,150
如果我不肯呢?

409
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,870
不帮你就糗了

410
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:10,590
糗了?

411
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:12,750
干什么? 你见鬼了?

412
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:13,630
那你糗大了

413
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,230
没有 我好得很 我正在走运

414
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,790
我长这么大 从来都没糗过

415
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:19,710
是哟

416
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:22,700
干什么?

417
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,220
踩到钉子了

418
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,430
还好 没扎到肉 这不能算糗啊

419
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,390
这样还不糗啊?

420
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,870
回去吧 不要看了

421
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:42,750
什么事?

422
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,710
那个越南男子不肯下来

423
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:45,750
有没有通知上面的?

424
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:46,740
还没有到

425
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,110
我刚才没有事

426
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,590
严格说起来也不是很糗

427
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,230
好了... 不糗... 干活了

428
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,790
你先上去 我马上来

429
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,110
他在上面

430
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:58,630
师兄

431
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,070
也没什么 我是想问问你

432
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,550
这一辈子当中 有没有试过...

433
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:05,990
...见鬼

434
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:06,830
见鬼?

435
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,350
没有 怎么回事?

436
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,550
你见到鬼了? 是不是?

437
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,950
不是

438
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:14,550
是谁? 是谁乱丢垃圾?

439
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:16,380
你还真糗啊 有没有怎样?

440
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,590
没有... 干活去

441
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,350
这位先生 你千万不要想不开

442
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:21,900
什么事情都可以商量嘛

443
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:23,750
还有什么好说的

444
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,350
我是非死不可

445
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,940
老兄...

446
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,710
你不要上来...

447
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,620
老兄 你安静一点 慢慢来

448
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,390
你要再过来 我就真的跳下去了

449
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,620
老兄 你听我说嘛

450
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:37,830
听我说 老兄

451
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:39,830
老兄 你不要这么傻嘛

452
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,400
你想想看 当年你从越南

453
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,030
离乡背井投奔怒海

454
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,950
千山万水惊涛骇浪的

455
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,910
好不容易到这个地方来了

456
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,110
为的是什么呢?

457
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:50,990
还不是为了争自由爱自由吗?

458
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,390
你有没有听说过一句话

459
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,350
生命诚可贵 自由价更高

460
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,630
我没有听过 你不要再说了

461
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:03,190
你们香港人 猫哭耗子假慈悲

462
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,550
我们越南人

463
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,430
每一个都千辛万苦来到香港

464
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,670
你们也太不人道了

465
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,310
还要把我们给送回去

466
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,670
你知不知道我们回去就死定了?

467
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:15,790
反正都是要死

468
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,230
不如从这儿跳下去算了

469
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:18,710
老兄 说不定你不会遣返

470
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:19,990
在上面谈判

471
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,230
你没有看报纸吗? 柴玲都去了法国

472
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:25,910
侯德建又回到台北去

473
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,140
还上电视 他们风光的

474
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:27,910
打扰你一下

475
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:28,750
你上来干什么?

476
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:29,820
我是想聊我们跟他...

477
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,300
他们不同啊 全世界支持他们

478
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,190
我们是越南人 说遣返就遣返

479
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:36,630
这是逼我们走绝路嘛

480
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,630
你自己先考虑一下 你还有什么话?

481
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:39,590
我是想问你

482
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:40,710
没什么好考虑的

483
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,630
你考虑一下我刚刚说的话

484
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:43,910
再打扰你一会

485
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,710
我想问你如果那鬼想整你

486
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:46,670
而你又不想理他

487
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:47,790
你说你会不会死得很难看?

488
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:49,020
就是你们不理我们

489
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:50,150
如果你们照顾我们

490
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:51,830
我们也不会走上这条路呀

491
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,990
你他妈的 从今开始 (越南话)

492
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,030
想要死就快

493
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,260
妨碍我们谈正经的事情

494
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,230
来到这里吃我们的住我们的

495
00:30:58,240 --> 00:30:59,910
还在这里吵什么

496
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:01,430
你以为你很了不起呀

497
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:02,630
带种的话你他妈的给我跳下去

498
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:03,390
你是神经病

499
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:05,350
是你叫我跳的 我就真的跳了

500
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,430
你不要跳 帮我拉着他

501
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:08,660
不要让他跳下去 拉着他...

502
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:09,900
我把你推下去

503
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:14,550
阿星

504
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,270
你还赖着干什么? 快起来

505
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,110
有没有事呀? 阿星 有没有事?

506
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:21,550
我真的糗了

507
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,180
大叔 我认输了 你出来一下吧

508
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,750
你昨天跟我谈的那件事

509
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:30,710
可以商量嘛

510
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:31,940
你现在肯答应了?

511
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:33,950
是你求我的

512
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,350
没有我 你一定会很糗

513
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:43,870
从现在开始 我们正式合作

514
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,190
我除了帮你泡妞 还帮你升职立功

515
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:49,630
这可是你说的

516
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:51,740
你到底要我帮你做什么?

517
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:53,270
这个很简单

518
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,870
你先帮我查出 杀我的凶手是谁

519
00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:58,710
然后帮我报仇

520
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,990
因为只有你可以对付他

521
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:02,670
这件事可不简单啊

522
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,310
怎么? 你想反悔?

523
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,430
不会 我是想谈另外一件事

524
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:09,390
哪一件事?

525
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,710
妞没泡到 你叫我怎么相信你呢?

526
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,150
你的鬼心眼我早就知道

527
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:17,500
我还有一个要求

528
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,390
你可不可以让我碰你一下?

529
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:21,150
可以

530
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:26,340
我从来都没有碰过鬼 我好紧张

531
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,030
也不过如此嘛

532
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:34,990
该我了?

533
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:36,230
来啊

534
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:42,510
那支灯打亮一点

535
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:43,190
知道了

536
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,150
太亮了 少一点

537
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,510
好 这样呢?

538
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:47,660
好了 OK

539
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,740
请吃母牛牌巧克力

540
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,150
母牛牌巧克力 又香又甜又好吃

541
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,950
Cut 摄影机有没有问题?

542
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:57,790
没问题

543
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,230
好 OK

544
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,670
用看的就行了 不用泡了

545
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,110
我是在等你

546
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:05,430
等我?

547
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:10,710
你把这朵花送给她

548
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:11,590
然后跟她说

549
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,900
你很漂亮 我很喜欢你 就行了

550
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,110
这就行了?

551
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,580
行了 就看你有没有这本事了

552
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,030
你话别说得太满

553
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,710
我怕的是你这招不灵

554
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,350
我这招一定灵

555
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:23,790
就不知道你有没有这个本事去

556
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,310
我别的本事没有

557
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,070
这点小事还难不倒我

558
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:28,550
只要你敢过去跟她说

559
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:29,870
我就保证一定成功

560
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,030
我看你根本就不敢过去

561
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,880
你很漂亮 我好喜欢你

562
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:06,740
喜欢吗?

563
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:17,980
好可爱

564
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,870
连只牛都不理我 还叫我跟人说

565
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,390
灵个屁

566
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,190
我早说过你不行

567
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:39,980
这次你有对手了

568
00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:44,300
去啊

569
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,350
邓先生 你今天怎么有空到这儿来?

570
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,870
我今天来主要是看看我的广告片

571
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,230
到底拍得怎么样了?

572
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,550
那个是不是我们的女主角?

573
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,870
是... 来... 我来介绍一下

574
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:10,500
这位是我们的老板邓李洋先生

575
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,150
这位是我们的女主角 她叫阿玉

576
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:13,070
你好

577
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,790
这花送给你

578
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,270
陪我喝杯茶怎么样?

579
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,070
对不起 我还要拍广告

580
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:26,190
导演

581
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:26,990
来了...

582
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,350
你搞什么? 到现在还不收工?

583
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:30,550
收工...?

584
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,910
大家听着 老板说今天收工了

585
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:36,500
把东西都收一收

586
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:37,580
有空了吧?

587
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,030
对不起 就算不拍这个广告

588
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:42,150
我也不会跟你去喝茶的

589
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,750
你什么意思?

590
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,910
我们老大请你喝茶 你敢拒绝

591
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,230
拿出男人本色 英雄救美

592
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:56,750
好

593
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:00,300
你干嘛把枪掏出来?

594
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:01,940
就算是抓贼

595
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,190
也要看适当的时机才能掏枪

596
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,830
泡妞要看谁的本事大

597
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,110
把勇气拿出来

598
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:08,310
他们有很多人

599
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:11,070
你不要怕 一切有我

600
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:12,390
我会帮你搞定的

601
00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:16,910
不... 标叔 但是我应该说些什么?

602
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:18,030
放手呀

603
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,150
放手啦

604
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,590
臭小子 你什么东西你? 闪一边去

605
00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:29,270
光天化日之下 胆敢调戏良家妇女

606
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,110
干嘛? 你以为你是楚留香

607
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,900
还英雄救美啊你? 交给你们了

608
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,230
你们干什么?

609
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,670
不要打了

610
00:36:50,240 --> 00:36:53,630
不许打 我劝你们保持冷静

611
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:03,910
像你这么蠢的大侠可真是难找

612
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,030
我真是服了你了

613
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,070
你不许我掏枪

614
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,350
还坐在这里看我被人家扁

615
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:30,790
你这叫帮我啊?

616
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,260
我已经帮你了 只是你不知道而已

617
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:34,070
你还...

618
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:35,110
先生

619
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:38,910
你不要紧吧?

620
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:41,430
没事

621
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,070
刚才的事真是不好意思

622
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:44,230
不客气

623
00:37:58,080 --> 00:37:59,670
月上柳梢头

624
00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:02,190
人约黄昏后

625
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:05,510
吓死我了

626
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:06,500
下次出来请你通知我一声嘛

627
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:08,670
妞我已经帮你泡上了

628
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:10,070
现在该你帮我报仇了吧

629
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,540
没问题 不过我已经约了她

630
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,150
好歹先让我占一次便宜再说

631
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,350
好事都让你占尽了

632
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:19,910
我们约定的事就不算数了?

633
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,230
对不起了

634
00:38:21,240 --> 00:38:23,350
就算天王老子找我也没用了

635
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,230
好 走着瞧

636
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,110
李小姐 你好?

637
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:56,950
先生 你好?

638
00:38:57,240 --> 00:38:58,380
幸会

639
00:38:58,400 --> 00:38:59,620
你没事吧?

640
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,200
没事 我们到那边坐一会?

641
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:02,790
好

642
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:03,590
谢谢

643
00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:13,110
李小姐都忙些什么?

644
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:14,990
拍广告呀

645
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:15,980
是吗?

646
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,910
拍广告那就...

647
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,190
你的枪碰到我了

648
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:21,790
对不起

649
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:26,270
这么说起来

650
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,790
李小姐的工作环境都很不错了?

651
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:31,070
什么东西?

652
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:34,430
你怎么会有两支枪

653
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,790
是啊 等一下

654
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:40,710
老兄 算我怕你

655
00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:42,350
你给我半个小时 好不好?

656
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,630
半个小时就够了

657
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:45,790
帮帮忙

658
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,180
先吃点花生

659
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:51,100
别闹了

660
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:54,590
见色忘友

661
00:39:58,160 --> 00:39:59,110
都没了

662
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:29,270
怎么了?

663
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:35,870
第三支枪

664
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:48,510
怎么到这里来找线索?

665
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,140
随便看看嘛 没线索当是旅行

666
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:52,950
我先去看一下

667
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:36,950
你在干什么?

668
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,430
警察 你有权...

669
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,980
你在这里干什么? 开片

670
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:45,830
不要过来 我开枪了

671
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:46,950
快走

672
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:48,150
不要走

673
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:49,270
我开枪了

674
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:51,430
你吓唬谁?

675
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:52,110
戴黑眼镜那个

676
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,270
你少神气 我开枪了

677
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,510
不是我

678
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,110
也不是我

679
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,630
拿斧头那个别拿死鱼眼瞄我

680
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:01,620
我开枪了

681
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:04,420
不是我

682
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:05,910
穿蓝色衣服的那个

683
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,110
你哪来那么多要求呀? 我劈你

684
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:13,510
不是我

685
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:14,660
劈他...

686
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:18,670
轰你...

687
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:19,390
怎么回事?

688
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:20,870
老大 欲罢不能

689
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:21,910
赶快去摆平他

690
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:23,510
他有枪

691
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:24,390
我们人多

692
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:25,750
他只有六颗子弹 怕什么呢?

693
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,950
那他来真的怎么办?

694
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:29,430
笨蛋 你不会躲到后面去呀

695
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:30,150
啊

696
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:31,300
啊什么? 这儿交给你了

697
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:32,350
我到后面包抄

698
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,260
这么简单 谁都可以当老大了

699
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:36,550
劈他...

700
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:37,990
你怕了?

701
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,790
像这种小场面你都应付不了

702
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:42,940
我帮你摆平他们

703
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:43,990
你哈啦什么?

704
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,510
你不知道我只有六颗子弹

705
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,270
你不行 我行

706
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:48,230
是不是真的?

707
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:51,550
搞定

708
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,510
标叔 你不要开我玩笑

709
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,310
劈他...

710
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,030
还真的有用

711
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:21,430
还发什么呆?

712
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:22,950
还不快叫救护车

713
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:34,270
进来

714
00:43:35,720 --> 00:43:37,030
督察      督察

715
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,550
昨天的毒品案 是你们破的?

716
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:47,590
是的

717
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,630
上头对你们的表现很满意

718
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,790
要我写一份报告 然后论功行赏

719
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:57,670
谢谢督察

720
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,870
昨天的情况是非常的惊险...

721
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,540
报告督察 阿星是新来的

722
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,590
这种大场面他哪见过呢?

723
00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,710
再加上他的经验不足

724
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:11,310
所以昨天表现的是 既惊慌又紧张

725
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,430
整个的情况 他已经记不清楚了

726
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,510
为了不耽误督察宝贵的时间

727
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,150
我想我一个人报告就行了

728
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:19,350
那你先出去好了

729
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:24,590
出去

730
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:35,670
你很生气呀?

731
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:36,350
是啊

732
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:37,420
我有办法

733
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:45,910
什么法宝?

734
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:48,420
风骚咒

735
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:49,820
风骚咒?

736
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,950
十几个人冲出来 我为了保护阿星

737
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,550
一个人跟他们拼了

738
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,910
怎么样? 搞定了没有?

739
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:07,190
看哪

740
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,190
刚刚好好玩

741
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:12,710
我们再来玩一次 快点来 来啊

742
00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:17,270
什么东西呀? 你神经病 走开

743
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:23,670
我一看情况不对 马上把枪掏出来

744
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,990
你那支枪 是不是又大又长?

745
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:30,150
不 督察 不怎么大

746
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:31,510
来啊 我看看嘛

747
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:33,310
督察 你看什么?

748
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:34,910
不行啊 督察

749
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,430
不要小器 借我看看嘛

750
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,670
不是我小器

751
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,990
我是想给你看哪

752
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:42,910
但是在这儿怎么行呀?

753
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:44,140
那你看看我的

754
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:45,990
大不大嘛?

755
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,550
大 不要白不要 我要了

756
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,590
到底要不要?

757
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:55,870
来嘛

758
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:57,310
受不了啦... 我要

759
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,750
我要

760
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:01,790
我要... 不能要...

761
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:02,940
抓她

762
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,020
这样不是便宜他了吗?

763
00:46:07,240 --> 00:46:08,910
便宜他 我才不干呢

764
00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:16,590
督察 你发神经病呀?

765
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:19,060
你刚才干什么?

766
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,390
我没干什么 是你叫我这么做的

767
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,550
你还敢胡说 连上司你都敢非礼

768
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:25,830
不是 督察 是你命令我的

769
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:27,110
我命令你的?

770
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:28,750
好

771
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,150
你们刚才看到什么?

772
00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:36,540
什么都没看到

773
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:37,870
他刚才趴在你身上

774
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:38,990
我们统统都没看见

775
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,100
臭小子 你出卖我

776
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:42,100
进去

777
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,510
不要打 不要啦

778
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:54,310
爸

779
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,630
爸 你怎么了? 弄成这个样子

780
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:00,430
别提了 今天真够倒霉的

781
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,630
爸 我约了新男朋友回来见你

782
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:06,870
新男朋友? 是谁啊?

783
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:08,430
你猜呀?

784
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,110
我女儿喜欢的一定是

785
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,790
块头高大 英俊潇洒 聪明灵活

786
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:15,870
还要加上点可爱

787
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:17,710
一会儿你就见到他了

788
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,310
对了 爸 我们先说好

789
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,350
反正他是你女儿喜欢的

790
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:27,070
阿玉

791
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:27,910
送我的?

792
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:29,790
是呀

793
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:31,830
来 先见见我爸爸

794
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:32,670
好啊

795
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:35,790
爸 这是我男朋友

796
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:36,990
老伯

797
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:38,940
怎么又是你呀?

798
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:41,030
是啊 怎么会这么巧?

799
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:41,990
是啊 真巧

800
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:42,950
原来你们认识

801
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:44,500
是啊

802
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,590
对 就是我老跟你提起那位

803
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:49,870
块头高大 英俊潇洒 聪明灵活

804
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:51,510
还加点可爱的上司

805
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:52,710
原来是你老爸

806
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:55,510
少拍马屁了 先坐下再说

807
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:56,550
好

808
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:00,190
怎么会是他?

809
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,430
可是我答应阿玉只要她喜欢就好

810
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,350
待会有你好看的

811
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:07,950
我饭已经煮好了待会就可以吃饭了

812
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:09,020
我先去帮你倒杯茶

813
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:09,950
谢谢

814
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,630
臭小子 起来

815
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,190
刚才出卖我 现在还想泡我女儿

816
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,550
长官 刚才是你自己不自量力嘛

817
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:26,390
臭小子 我告诉你

818
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:27,380
聪明的话就让我打两拳

819
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:30,070
还躲?

820
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:31,220
不躲干嘛?

821
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,110
你躲 你好小子 你想还手?

822
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:34,260
不让你还手

823
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,270
爸 阿星 你们干什么?

824
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:39,940
没什么...

825
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,630
你这个男朋友真是块头高大

826
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:44,940
老伯也是英俊潇洒

827
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,230
哪里? 你聪明灵活

828
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,830
好几十岁人都还这么可爱

829
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,030
你也不差啊

830
00:48:51,240 --> 00:48:52,710
没想到你们这么投缘

831
00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:54,350
可以吃饭了 来吧

832
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,110
来 吃饭了

833
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,110
不要客气 阿玉做的小菜很好吃

834
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:04,910
你一定会喜欢的

835
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:05,630
好

836
00:49:06,240 --> 00:49:08,230
来 如果不够咸 就加酱油

837
00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:09,030
谢谢

838
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:10,430
如果不够辣的话 就加辣椒酱

839
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:12,950
这些辣椒酱可是阿玉亲手做的

840
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,350
原来他怕辣

841
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:19,940
尝尝这个辣椒酱

842
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,630
这是朝天椒做的 很够味的

843
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:31,630
你要是不尝一下就是没有口福

844
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:33,390
你喜欢吃辣呀?

845
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:34,540
是啊

846
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:35,670
吃啊

847
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:41,870
我忘了汤了

848
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:44,790
你存心整我

849
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:45,630
你吃不吃你?

850
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:46,390
不吃

851
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:53,550
张嘴

852
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:58,750
爸 你把虾子吃了?

853
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,110
很好吃 他说嫌不够辣

854
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,390
用辣椒酱拌饭才好吃 来

855
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:09,590
这才合他的胃口

856
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:13,670
原来你跟我一样喜欢吃辣椒酱呀

857
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:24,310
你好厉害

858
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:29,990
看你吃得满嘴都是的

859
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,070
来 不要光吃饭嘛 吃点菜

860
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:34,420
谢谢

861
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:36,550
来

862
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:39,230
你不喜欢? 那我给爸爸吃了

863
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:41,590
来 爸爸

864
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,910
你也不喜欢? 那我自己吃好了

865
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:47,750
吃...

866
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,030
好 来啊

867
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,060
你们干什么?

868
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:07,740
阿玉

869
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:45,060
那个臭小子是有点邪气

870
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:48,620
有一只阴灵在帮他对付你

871
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:52,020
那我该怎么办?

872
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:53,550
我会帮你查清楚

873
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:57,000
现在给你一个护身符

874
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:11,350
它会暂时保护你

875
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:12,580
谢谢法师

876
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:19,790
你趴在地上干什么?

877
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:20,910
我看电视

878
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,230
这么巧

879
00:52:26,240 --> 00:52:28,110
最近你泡阿玉泡到神魂颠倒的

880
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:31,310
哪有? 怎么会?

881
00:52:33,240 --> 00:52:34,350
你不是有那个什么...

882
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:35,190
风骚咒是不是?

883
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:36,420
可不可以借给我?

884
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:37,630
你有神经病呀?

885
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,110
你想把风骚咒用在阿玉身上

886
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:41,590
她是我小侄女

887
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:45,230
泡妞还要用风骚咒 你也太烂了

888
00:52:45,240 --> 00:52:46,910
就算泡上了也没面子

889
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,150
你知不知道风骚咒有多厉害呀

890
00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:53,840
咒无虚发 发不可收

891
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,230
这种功夫我不会教你的

892
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,110
算了 我只想研究一下

893
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:05,590
有点累了 先回去睡一觉

894
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:11,110
什么大不了的事情

895
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:12,390
还把我带到你家来

896
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:16,430
其实也没什么 闲着也是闲着嘛

897
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,550
上来坐坐 喝杯茶 聊聊天

898
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:19,950
联络一下感情嘛

899
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:52,830
怎么是你? 阿锦 阿星来了

900
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:55,940
我先走了

901
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,340
你怎么走了呢?

902
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:02,110
咒出不可收

903
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:04,790
猫...

904
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:10,710
你撞...

905
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:24,870
干什么? 找阿玉是不是?

906
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:25,860
她还没回来

907
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:28,070
你...

908
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:30,820
我走了

909
00:54:33,240 --> 00:54:34,670
我说过阿玉没回来

910
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:36,590
我知道

911
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:43,980
你哪儿不对劲?

912
00:54:58,560 --> 00:54:59,540
干什么?

913
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,230
阿锦 锦郎

914
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:07,230
我好无聊

915
00:55:09,720 --> 00:55:11,270
臭小子 你干什么?

916
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:12,750
毛手毛脚 快放手

917
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:13,820
阿星

918
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:16,350
你干什么?

919
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:18,030
你男朋友是个同性恋

920
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:20,190
你干嘛这样子说我嘛?

921
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:26,030
我刚才干什么了?

922
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,390
你搞同性恋 干什么?

923
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,030
阿玉...

924
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:32,780
阿玉 你听我说

925
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:34,870
我刚刚自己也不知道干什么

926
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,870
我是中了一种咒 叫风骚咒

927
00:55:37,720 --> 00:55:39,710
哪有什么风骚咒? 你少骗我了

928
00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:40,550
鬼才相信你

929
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:41,780
他是吃你豆腐

930
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:43,350
是真的 那些风骚咒

931
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:44,830
我是从标叔那儿拿过来的

932
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,630
标叔? 哪个标叔?

933
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,550
就是你以前的同事张标

934
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:50,750
你神经病 他死了很久了

935
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,550
我没有办法了 就实话实说了

936
00:55:55,520 --> 00:55:56,630
标叔在这把枪里

937
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:57,670
你胡说什么?

938
00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:59,710
我看你吹牛的功夫比我还要高呢

939
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:03,070
标叔 快现身 快一点现身

940
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,030
我的长官你又不是不认识 快

941
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:06,990
爸 我们不要理他

942
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,510
阿玉 给我两分钟时间

943
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,310
我马上回来

944
00:56:18,520 --> 00:56:19,710
全都是我不好

945
00:56:19,720 --> 00:56:20,910
是我偷了你的符咒

946
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:23,220
你要是再不现身 我就死定了

947
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,340
了不起 我自己打我自己三个耳光

948
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:28,430
可以了吗?

949
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:30,790
怎么胡言乱语的?

950
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,630
还是不行? 你可别怪我 好

951
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:36,700
我也不想这样

952
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:41,500
是你逼我的

953
00:56:44,720 --> 00:56:46,110
受不了吧

954
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:47,100
叫你早点出来

955
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,510
你就不用受这种苦了吧

956
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:51,790
我看他八成是发神经病

957
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,670
会不会出事了?

958
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:56,070
说的也是 进去看看

959
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:01,590
你看你搞什么? 怎么这样有的?

960
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:03,150
好了... 快出去吧

961
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:04,270
你这人恶不恶心呀?

962
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:06,870
阿玉...

963
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,710
不但用小便射我 还把我冲进马桶里

964
00:57:15,720 --> 00:57:17,230
再给我点时间解释

965
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:23,070
我没有骗你吧 真的是鬼呀

966
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:24,510
我怎么会骗你嘛 是不是?

967
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:26,110
阿玉

968
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:29,870
你上来干什么?

969
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:31,910
下面说我死因不明

970
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:33,270
我不上来我去哪儿?

971
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,390
那你就上来整天装神弄鬼的?

972
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:36,510
是又怎么样?

973
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,190
我不在的时候你居然又作威作福的

974
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:39,670
现在知道厉害了吧?

975
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:41,860
谁又作威作福了?

976
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,100
不要生气

977
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,030
你少啰嗦 关你什么事?

978
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:46,350
你在我身上小便

979
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:47,500
都是你惹的祸

980
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:58,140
叫你来你不来

981
00:57:58,160 --> 00:57:59,870
不叫你来 你就突然来

982
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:06,900
阿星 泡妞升职立功

983
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,430
好的坏的我全都替你做了

984
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:11,670
我已经曝露了身分

985
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:14,030
你一定要赶快把仇人给我找出来

986
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:16,390
我也希望

987
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:17,710
你又不知道是谁

988
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:19,910
连长什样你都没见过 我怎么找呀?

989
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:22,150
不是我不帮你

990
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:25,620
我想起来了

991
00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:27,700
他杀我的时候

992
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:28,700
身上有一股很重的味道

993
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:29,550
什么味道?

994
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:30,990
狐臭

995
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:35,870
我也有 怎么找呀?

996
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:40,670
你身上的是汗味 不是狐臭

997
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:44,990
明白了吧?

998
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:46,220
明白什么?

999
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:47,910
我刚刚说的

1000
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:48,950
你刚才说什么?

1001
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:56,870
阿权... 我在这里 快点过来 来吧

1002
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:58,220
老张 好久不见了

1003
00:58:58,240 --> 00:58:59,150
到哪去了?

1004
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:00,910
没有 理发

1005
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:02,030
好帅呀

1006
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:03,070
谢谢

1007
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:04,700
干什么你?

1008
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:06,020
干什么?

1009
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:08,220
神经病

1010
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:10,550
我最近的运气真是烂... 输了一屁股

1011
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:11,750
不要赌了

1012
00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:13,150
不赌怎么行?

1013
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,310
你还来 搞什么你?

1014
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:16,380
借闻一下嘛

1015
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:30,230
标叔 你是在这里被杀的

1016
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:31,870
他们又不是傻瓜

1017
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:33,270
怎么还会待在这里呢?

1018
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:35,030
你没听过

1019
00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:36,870
最危险的地方就是最安全的地方

1020
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:38,070
他们以为我死了

1021
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,270
又怎么会想到死人会报仇呢

1022
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:41,550
话可不能这么说

1023
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:42,910
我要不是因为撞到你

1024
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:44,630
我也不知道这件事

1025
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:46,740
从这儿爬过去

1026
00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:48,150
我上一次也是从这儿爬过去调查的

1027
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:08,310
真的有毒品 标叔...

1028
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:01,190
干什么你?

1029
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:04,790
干什么... 不要乱来 你不要扣扳机

1030
01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:06,270
干什么你... 躲开嘛

1031
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:26,750
怎么样?

1032
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:27,870
快去干掉他

1033
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:32,870
标叔 能不能让我再过瘾一点?

1034
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,310
你想过瘾? 可以

1035
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:46,310
过不过瘾?

1036
01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:48,190
可惜没有带照相机

1037
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:55,070
这一下我可发了 标叔谢了

1038
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,630
臭小子 敢到我这里来撒野?

1039
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:00,030
好臭

1040
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:01,310
臭你妈

1041
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:02,230
就是他

1042
01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:27,150
你到底想干嘛?

1043
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:32,230
我不喜欢那一把

1044
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:37,780
看你往哪儿跑

1045
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:46,100
我明明打中他 他怎么还跑呀?

1046
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:47,310
耍无赖嘛你

1047
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:49,150
他不是无赖 他身上有法宝

1048
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:51,790
有法宝?

1049
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:57,230
幸亏有你的护身符

1050
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:00,910
否则 我已经死了

1051
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:03,910
他是被你杀死的

1052
01:03:03,920 --> 01:03:06,110
现在叫那个臭小子回来报仇

1053
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:08,910
那个王八蛋

1054
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,150
死了都不肯放过我

1055
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:13,910
法师

1056
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:17,350
这个人 你一定要把他处理掉

1057
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:18,910
你放心的留在这里

1058
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:24,230
对付这个小鬼 本法师早有妙计

1059
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:27,630
祖师爷在上

1060
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:32,590
弟子这次被张标和阿星那臭小子

1061
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:34,550
整得好惨

1062
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:38,310
好事全归他们 整天都耍我

1063
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,510
还打我女儿的主意

1064
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:44,110
祖师爷 您的法力高深

1065
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,990
这次一定要帮弟子出这口气

1066
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:54,590
祖师爷下凡了

1067
01:03:57,280 --> 01:03:58,830
弟子李锦

1068
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:01,790
本祖师知道你被小鬼张标逼害

1069
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:03,910
所以本祖师亲自下凡

1070
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:06,030
赐你灵符一度

1071
01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,150
你把它贴在枪管之内

1072
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:12,590
就可以禁锢那个小鬼 以示惩戒

1073
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:13,820
多谢祖师爷

1074
01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:15,110
你出去依法行事

1075
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:16,150
是

1076
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:32,070
阿星

1077
01:04:32,080 --> 01:04:32,990
约会啊?

1078
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:34,950
带枪了没有?

1079
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:35,830
有呀

1080
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:37,390
带什么枪呢?

1081
01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:39,390
跟阿玉出去 带枪不太方便吧

1082
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:40,950
枪枝泛滥 不带多危险

1083
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,710
怕什么 再说人总有点私生活

1084
01:04:43,720 --> 01:04:45,350
没事带个电灯泡在身边干什么呢?

1085
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:46,310
有道理

1086
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:47,670
这个老家伙挺烦人的

1087
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:51,070
我让你们两个叙叙旧

1088
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:52,670
你们去吧      好

1089
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,190
我们走了 拜拜 爸

1090
01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:58,870
拜拜 别急着回来

1091
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:00,790
要你管

1092
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,590
把你堵死 我就不信你还能出得来

1093
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:42,070
放我出来...

1094
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:44,270
你永远也出不来了

1095
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:47,150
我们黑教的捉鬼精棺

1096
01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:49,670
就是你的克星

1097
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:53,380
用不了多久 你就会灰飞烟灭

1098
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:08,230
阿玉

1099
01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:09,190
什么?

1100
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:12,350
听说我们已经抱了好久

1101
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:13,390
是啊

1102
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:16,510
你觉得怎么样?

1103
01:06:16,960 --> 01:06:18,310
很好玩

1104
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:23,030
我看这样好不好?

1105
01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:25,190
我们玩点别的游戏

1106
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:26,230
什么?

1107
01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:30,910
譬如说... 亲亲嘴

1108
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:35,070
不要了 让别人看到多不好意思?

1109
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:36,060
哪会有人看我们嘛

1110
01:06:36,080 --> 01:06:37,590
谁说没有人?

1111
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:45,750
什么事?

1112
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:47,150
你该知道是什么事

1113
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:49,030
不知道

1114
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:50,830
你知不知道?

1115
01:06:51,560 --> 01:06:53,270
我知道 没事

1116
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:58,270
没事你还不快跑?

1117
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:04,070
标叔

1118
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:06,870
你认识我?

1119
01:07:06,880 --> 01:07:09,590
不... 完全误会 不认识

1120
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:23,790
他今天运动量够了 走吧

1121
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:25,340
走了

1122
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:27,060
再见

1123
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:34,910
在那边

1124
01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:37,430
快点

1125
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:39,390
你又来得太早了吧

1126
01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:41,270
给我点机会表现嘛

1127
01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:48,230
小心点 你没事吗?

1128
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:56,550
你先躺下 我去拿药给你擦

1129
01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:04,750
他没有道理不救我

1130
01:08:09,640 --> 01:08:11,550
阿标 你终于栽在我的手上了吧

1131
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:15,550
祖师爷在上 请受弟子李锦一拜

1132
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:19,380
谢谢祖师爷下凡赐灵符

1133
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,390
把阿标锁住 让我出了这口气

1134
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:23,300
阿星

1135
01:08:24,520 --> 01:08:26,510
这一次可整到了阿标跟阿星

1136
01:08:26,520 --> 01:08:27,660
他们两个人了

1137
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:32,590
原来是你在搞鬼

1138
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:34,550
爸 你为什么要这么做?

1139
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:36,390
谁叫他们两个人老是爱整我

1140
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:39,350
爸 刚才阿星差点让邓李洋打死了

1141
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:41,180
邓李洋还敢出来

1142
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:43,190
少说废话 先把标叔弄出来再说

1143
01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:46,510
标叔

1144
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:47,860
来 我来

1145
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:50,430
好了

1146
01:08:50,440 --> 01:08:52,150
标叔 你出来呀

1147
01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:53,590
怎么了 阿星?

1148
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:55,980
标叔 他睡着了

1149
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:59,590
起来 天亮了 标叔...

1150
01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:04,870
出来了

1151
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:06,820
标叔要是不见 你就给我小心点

1152
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:10,070
不可能 我问一下祖师爷

1153
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:13,030
祖师爷在上 弟子把灵符拿走

1154
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:14,790
还是不能把张标放出来

1155
01:09:14,800 --> 01:09:17,390
有什么差错 请祖师爷指点

1156
01:09:21,120 --> 01:09:24,150
你这个不肖子弟 心术不正

1157
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:26,950
被妖孽利用 闯下大祸

1158
01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:30,160
本祖师爷从未亲身下凡

1159
01:09:30,160 --> 01:09:31,300
也没有把那些

1160
01:09:31,320 --> 01:09:34,270
欺压善良 害人害物的妖符给你

1161
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:36,270
标叔被谁抓去了?

1162
01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:40,140
这个妖孽是张标的克星

1163
01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:43,030
受了张标的仇人 邓李洋的指示

1164
01:09:43,040 --> 01:09:44,510
假扮本祖师

1165
01:09:44,520 --> 01:09:47,830
利用本门不肖弟子 把张标抓走

1166
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:50,670
然后关在邪教的捉鬼精棺里

1167
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:53,630
有什么办法可以救他出来?

1168
01:09:54,520 --> 01:09:56,510
这个捉鬼精棺非常邪恶

1169
01:09:56,520 --> 01:10:00,430
以本祖师的法力 还没有办法破解它

1170
01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:02,590
那标叔死定了

1171
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:05,660
祖师爷 求你大发慈悲想想办法

1172
01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:09,110
我只能把破精棺的法宝写在你身上

1173
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:11,950
你能找到它 就可以救张标了

1174
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:13,390
麻烦你 请你快一点

1175
01:10:14,640 --> 01:10:15,990
请这位小姐回避

1176
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:53,670
祖师爷 请你快点 我快忍不住了

1177
01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:07,150
祖师爷 请你快点

1178
01:11:17,520 --> 01:11:20,870
对不起 我实在怕痒

1179
01:11:20,880 --> 01:11:22,550
明天再写吧

1180
01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:26,990
写完了?

1181
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:31,350
祖师爷走了 我看看

1182
01:11:34,240 --> 01:11:35,870
怎么全弄花了

1183
01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:39,190
大概被我抓掉了 还看得清楚吗?

1184
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:40,670
还可以 我看看

1185
01:11:40,680 --> 01:11:42,270
玉女尿

1186
01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:44,030
神台猫屎

1187
01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:45,790
大仙... 大仙什么?

1188
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:48,550
屁 大仙屁

1189
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:51,030
不要 你偷看人家屁屁

1190
01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:52,150
下次让你看回来嘛

1191
01:11:52,160 --> 01:11:52,710
真的?

1192
01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:54,230
真的 看祖师爷的

1193
01:11:54,960 --> 01:11:56,150
谢谢祖师爷

1194
01:11:57,160 --> 01:11:59,150
怎么会不吃呢?

1195
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:01,540
我弄的全是海鲜 它应该喜欢吃

1196
01:12:04,440 --> 01:12:05,870
纯正泻盐

1197
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:07,660
怎么样? 吃了没有?

1198
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:09,670
没有 真是奇怪了

1199
01:12:09,680 --> 01:12:10,790
说什么就是不肯吃

1200
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:14,740
平常不给它吃 对它这么坏

1201
01:12:14,760 --> 01:12:16,390
今天突然给它吃这么多好东西

1202
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:17,950
它怕你毒死它

1203
01:12:18,640 --> 01:12:19,830
那该怎么办呢?

1204
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:20,950
先让我示范一次

1205
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:22,590
它自然就会跟着吃了

1206
01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:23,790
那好 来

1207
01:12:29,200 --> 01:12:30,870
我是猫 你看好

1208
01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:34,030
这么好东西不吃 太浪费

1209
01:12:37,040 --> 01:12:38,310
这鱼不错

1210
01:12:48,040 --> 01:12:49,260
咸了一点

1211
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:50,670
这全让你吃完了 怎么办呢?

1212
01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:53,880
我是给它机会好让它看清楚嘛

1213
01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:57,790
你看吧

1214
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:00,340
要示范嘛

1215
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:02,710
都很新鲜

1216
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,670
不过味道就是有点怪怪的

1217
01:13:05,200 --> 01:13:07,430
不会的 我只加了一点泻盐

1218
01:13:16,440 --> 01:13:17,420
你想干什么?

1219
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:20,670
看你示范拉屎 不然它怎么拉?

1220
01:13:21,520 --> 01:13:22,660
看

1221
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:30,350
乖 快点拉

1222
01:13:30,360 --> 01:13:31,870
看完了示范 该你了

1223
01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:40,950
师婆

1224
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:42,350
什么事 长官?

1225
01:13:42,360 --> 01:13:43,390
还没下班啊?

1226
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:45,830
就快要下班了 做完这些就下班了

1227
01:13:46,360 --> 01:13:49,190
师婆 我知道你工作很累

1228
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:50,750
买了汽水给你解解渴

1229
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:53,110
你对我这么好 这么大瓶

1230
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:54,990
小意思 你客气什么呢

1231
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:56,510
等一下 让我拿个杯子

1232
01:13:57,880 --> 01:13:59,990
不用杯子了 对着瓶嘴喝就行了

1233
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:01,550
一大瓶?

1234
01:14:01,560 --> 01:14:02,870
大瓶才过瘾

1235
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:03,830
也好

1236
01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:13,150
你真棒 还有

1237
01:14:13,160 --> 01:14:15,070
来... 再一瓶

1238
01:14:16,120 --> 01:14:17,150
还有呀?

1239
01:14:24,640 --> 01:14:25,830
喝光了

1240
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:26,980
师婆 你真行

1241
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:29,830
天气太热了

1242
01:14:30,200 --> 01:14:32,150
还喝? 好

1243
01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:40,550
真是了不起 师婆 够不够?

1244
01:14:41,120 --> 01:14:42,510
糟了 全喝光了

1245
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:44,390
我再去给你买回来 你等一等

1246
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:47,190
这小子真奇怪 突然对我这么好

1247
01:14:52,840 --> 01:14:54,510
我就不信你不尿尿

1248
01:15:01,320 --> 01:15:02,380
你干什么?

1249
01:15:03,040 --> 01:15:05,830
你这个老色狼 想偷看女人尿尿

1250
01:15:05,840 --> 01:15:07,630
没事请我喝汽水

1251
01:15:07,640 --> 01:15:09,630
我就知道你没安好心眼

1252
01:15:21,840 --> 01:15:23,590
我才不随便让人看

1253
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:27,350
你也想偷看我?

1254
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:36,060
尿慢一点

1255
01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:42,710
什么? 这样也行

1256
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,180
阿星 你让我一口气

1257
01:15:52,200 --> 01:15:53,750
吃这么多烤蕃薯

1258
01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:55,190
还有这么些花生

1259
01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:56,950
够了没有? 我受不了了

1260
01:15:56,960 --> 01:15:58,590
你再忍耐一下嘛

1261
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:00,310
等我把这玻璃圈弄好就好了

1262
01:16:02,160 --> 01:16:04,870
不要光顾着吃 喝点水

1263
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:09,430
还要喝水呀?

1264
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:10,550
预备了

1265
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:12,740
开始

1266
01:16:17,120 --> 01:16:18,510
祖师爷在上

1267
01:16:18,520 --> 01:16:19,710
弟子诚心祷告

1268
01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:21,070
请祖师爷附身授法

1269
01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:27,550
来了

1270
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:39,060
很好

1271
01:16:39,320 --> 01:16:40,380
继续

1272
01:16:45,440 --> 01:16:47,350
用力

1273
01:16:52,040 --> 01:16:53,550
再用一点力 继续

1274
01:16:53,560 --> 01:16:54,670
加油...

1275
01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:56,230
憋着

1276
01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:57,910
你的屁股能积这么多气

1277
01:16:57,920 --> 01:16:59,630
好像是在表演特技

1278
01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:02,710
继续...

1279
01:17:06,200 --> 01:17:07,260
停 够了

1280
01:17:07,280 --> 01:17:08,390
我停不住呀

1281
01:17:19,120 --> 01:17:22,710
好臭啊...

1282
01:17:23,200 --> 01:17:25,070
谁不知道臭 我也不想这样

1283
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:27,310
糟了 全散了

1284
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:29,670
快帮忙把屁捞回来 快散光了

1285
01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:31,030
快点过来帮忙呀

1286
01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:34,270
快点... 快点行不行?

1287
01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:38,350
干嘛?

1288
01:17:41,400 --> 01:17:45,710
这么臭你还含在嘴里 你还真厉害

1289
01:18:01,280 --> 01:18:02,340
神台猫屎

1290
01:18:06,760 --> 01:18:07,740
玉女尿

1291
01:18:12,680 --> 01:18:13,710
大仙屁

1292
01:18:14,920 --> 01:18:15,950
预备

1293
01:18:17,000 --> 01:18:17,980
好

1294
01:18:23,920 --> 01:18:24,830
成功了

1295
01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:25,510
好极了

1296
01:18:25,920 --> 01:18:27,270
快带所有法宝去救阿标

1297
01:18:27,280 --> 01:18:28,260
好

1298
01:18:30,120 --> 01:18:31,180
都准备好了吗?

1299
01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:32,070
都准备好了

1300
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,110
就这一个? 你换把大的吧

1301
01:18:35,120 --> 01:18:37,680
杀鸡焉需要牛刀 这把是足够了

1302
01:18:37,680 --> 01:18:38,430
行不行啊?

1303
01:18:38,440 --> 01:18:39,830
一定行的啦 走吧

1304
01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:06,580
真的在这里

1305
01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:07,790
标叔 我们来救你了

1306
01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:10,150
少废话 快把他救出来

1307
01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:21,310
没反应

1308
01:19:21,320 --> 01:19:22,270
嘿

1309
01:19:22,960 --> 01:19:24,310
你怎么不嘿?

1310
01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:26,550
嘿得太多 我怕观众不喜欢

1311
01:19:26,560 --> 01:19:27,350
也有道理

1312
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:29,710
糟糕了 我们中计了

1313
01:19:29,720 --> 01:19:31,230
这个不是真的捉鬼精棺

1314
01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:35,590
你猜得不错

1315
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,110
我只要用一个假棺材

1316
01:19:37,120 --> 01:19:39,910
就可以把你们千辛万苦找到的

1317
01:19:39,920 --> 01:19:41,750
破精棺法宝给毁了

1318
01:19:44,400 --> 01:19:47,630
真的精棺... 在这儿

1319
01:19:53,160 --> 01:19:53,950
阿标

1320
01:19:57,080 --> 01:20:00,350
除非你们再去找一些破精棺的法宝

1321
01:20:00,360 --> 01:20:02,710
才能把那个死老鬼救回来

1322
01:20:02,720 --> 01:20:04,190
笨蛋不多了

1323
01:20:08,720 --> 01:20:09,750
他骂你笨蛋

1324
01:20:10,040 --> 01:20:12,790
还好 不过比他聪明一点

1325
01:20:14,920 --> 01:20:15,830
上

1326
01:20:16,320 --> 01:20:17,590
莫名其妙

1327
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:20,430
猪八戒的妈是怎么死的?

1328
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:22,820
跟我作对 你找死哦

1329
01:20:22,840 --> 01:20:23,710
你开枪啊

1330
01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:25,190
你一开枪让你变成马蜂窝

1331
01:20:25,840 --> 01:20:26,950
什么东西

1332
01:20:27,760 --> 01:20:29,710
你这个死老鬼还在我手上

1333
01:20:29,720 --> 01:20:31,830
我就不信你能把我怎么样?

1334
01:20:31,840 --> 01:20:35,380
你想玩吗? 好 来 哥哥我奉陪

1335
01:20:35,400 --> 01:20:37,150
我又没说要跟你玩

1336
01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:46,910
阿标

1337
01:20:47,560 --> 01:20:48,670
开枪

1338
01:20:56,760 --> 01:20:57,710
王八蛋

1339
01:21:00,640 --> 01:21:01,590
标叔

1340
01:21:09,200 --> 01:21:11,950
凭你这点小把戏就想对付我吗?

1341
01:21:23,320 --> 01:21:24,230
阿标你真行

1342
01:21:25,200 --> 01:21:26,070
标叔 帅呆了

1343
01:21:26,080 --> 01:21:27,220
你掩护我 我去扁他

1344
01:21:37,760 --> 01:21:38,590
阿星

1345
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:40,550
阿星 你没事吧?

1346
01:21:40,560 --> 01:21:42,230
标叔 你不是要掩护我吗?

1347
01:21:42,240 --> 01:21:43,380
我掩护个屁

1348
01:21:43,400 --> 01:21:44,790
我连自己都管不了了

1349
01:21:44,920 --> 01:21:45,830
你说什么?

1350
01:21:48,040 --> 01:21:48,990
来吧 阿标

1351
01:22:02,720 --> 01:22:04,510
阿标 该你出马了

1352
01:22:04,520 --> 01:22:06,110
他这么丑 我才不要呢

1353
01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:30,790
标叔 救我呀

1354
01:22:30,800 --> 01:22:32,230
你再不出马 阿星挺不住了

1355
01:22:32,240 --> 01:22:33,590
我出什么马?

1356
01:22:33,600 --> 01:22:35,270
我到现在还不知道我是男是女

1357
01:22:35,280 --> 01:22:36,110
标叔 救我呀

1358
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:37,150
胡说八道什么你?

1359
01:22:37,160 --> 01:22:40,110
标叔 你怎么变这样子呢?

1360
01:22:40,120 --> 01:22:41,670
你这胡子好性感

1361
01:22:41,920 --> 01:22:43,390
拉拉扯扯的恶心死了

1362
01:22:46,880 --> 01:22:48,790
我受不了啦

1363
01:22:56,160 --> 01:22:57,380
祖师爷大显威灵

1364
01:23:04,360 --> 01:23:05,310
扶苏剑

1365
01:23:10,320 --> 01:23:11,300
阿星 你有没有受伤?

1366
01:23:11,440 --> 01:23:13,900
标叔 你是不是叫人家给阉了?

1367
01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:15,550
让我看看

1368
01:23:15,560 --> 01:23:16,430
要死了 不要乱摸

1369
01:23:16,440 --> 01:23:18,430
很多人会看到的

1370
01:23:31,720 --> 01:23:33,710
本祖师跟你一决高下

1371
01:23:51,080 --> 01:23:52,390
好棒...

1372
01:24:02,840 --> 01:24:03,900
糟了 他支持不住了

1373
01:24:04,560 --> 01:24:06,110
我不是叫你换把大的吗?

1374
01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:07,310
你就是不听话嘛

1375
01:24:25,040 --> 01:24:26,630
妖孽 放开我的手

1376
01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,510
标叔 现在该怎么办?

1377
01:24:29,880 --> 01:24:30,910
我身上没有符

1378
01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:33,430
符? 我有

1379
01:24:45,880 --> 01:24:46,670
怎么了?

1380
01:24:47,040 --> 01:24:49,390
有符也没用 连我都不灵了

1381
01:24:49,400 --> 01:24:50,380
还给你

1382
01:25:06,680 --> 01:25:11,070
屁股着火了 屁股着火了 快啊...

1383
01:25:16,560 --> 01:25:17,670
你好像马拉度那

1384
01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:19,270
还来?

1385
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:23,990
比利也不过如此 再来一个

1386
01:25:27,360 --> 01:25:29,150
太大了

1387
01:25:45,360 --> 01:25:46,580
把我的手解开

1388
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:47,550
好了

1389
01:25:52,120 --> 01:25:54,030
祖师不是说只要得到三样法宝

1390
01:25:54,040 --> 01:25:55,100
就可以替标叔解咒

1391
01:25:55,120 --> 01:25:56,310
怎么会不灵呢?

1392
01:25:56,320 --> 01:25:58,310
可能不是三样 是四样

1393
01:25:58,320 --> 01:25:59,350
四样?

1394
01:25:59,360 --> 01:26:00,230
你看那个德性?

1395
01:26:00,240 --> 01:26:01,550
一定少了童子尿了

1396
01:26:02,200 --> 01:26:04,550
童子尿? 一定是那些被我抓掉

1397
01:26:04,640 --> 01:26:05,430
现在怎么办?

1398
01:26:05,440 --> 01:26:07,550
快找个处男来尿尿

1399
01:26:09,640 --> 01:26:11,430
行 马上来

1400
01:26:15,000 --> 01:26:16,950
你到现在还是处男?

1401
01:26:24,360 --> 01:26:25,710
来了 童子尿

1402
01:26:25,720 --> 01:26:26,750
真的假的?

1403
01:26:26,760 --> 01:26:27,550
真的

1404
01:26:44,560 --> 01:26:45,540
把符给我

1405
01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:47,510
接着

1406
01:26:50,960 --> 01:26:51,750
怎么办?

1407
01:26:51,760 --> 01:26:52,590
什么?

1408
01:26:52,600 --> 01:26:53,630
那个妖孽好厉害

1409
01:26:53,640 --> 01:26:55,030
先把这个拿开

1410
01:27:10,200 --> 01:27:11,710
这妖孽想跟我们同归于尽

1411
01:27:11,720 --> 01:27:12,430
那怎么办?

1412
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:13,860
把铁板拿开

1413
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:23,100
送我出去

1414
01:27:45,600 --> 01:27:46,950
阿标 你怎么了?

1415
01:27:46,960 --> 01:27:49,420
标叔 你没事吧?

1416
01:27:50,320 --> 01:27:51,990
祖师爷 鬼怎么会受伤的?

1417
01:27:52,000 --> 01:27:52,870
祖师爷早就走了

1418
01:27:52,880 --> 01:27:53,860
我怎么知道?

1419
01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:57,870
我现在魂魄不全 恐怕报不了仇了

1420
01:27:59,560 --> 01:28:02,510
邓李洋 带种的话你给我出来

1421
01:28:03,560 --> 01:28:04,310
阿玉

1422
01:28:06,120 --> 01:28:08,110
你找我吗? 我在这里

1423
01:28:09,000 --> 01:28:10,270
阿玉      不许动

1424
01:28:12,680 --> 01:28:14,190
有种的就开枪

1425
01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:17,790
一个对一个 我没什么损失

1426
01:28:18,360 --> 01:28:19,500
把枪放下

1427
01:28:22,080 --> 01:28:23,670
快把枪放下 她是我女儿

1428
01:28:23,680 --> 01:28:26,390
不要放 放也是死 不放也是死

1429
01:28:29,760 --> 01:28:31,070
那怎么办?

1430
01:28:31,080 --> 01:28:32,390
现在全要靠你了

1431
01:28:32,400 --> 01:28:33,510
靠我?

1432
01:28:35,080 --> 01:28:36,390
把枪放下

1433
01:28:38,120 --> 01:28:41,310
快 把枪放下 放下

1434
01:28:42,120 --> 01:28:43,070
拼了

1435
01:28:53,200 --> 01:28:55,500
阿玉...

1436
01:28:55,520 --> 01:28:58,190
阿玉 你醒醒

1437
01:28:59,680 --> 01:29:00,900
我的仇总算报了

1438
01:29:02,280 --> 01:29:02,990
爸

1439
01:29:03,000 --> 01:29:03,980
阿标

1440
01:29:04,560 --> 01:29:08,260
我的心愿已了 我要回去报到了

1441
01:29:09,960 --> 01:29:10,790
标叔

1442
01:29:10,800 --> 01:29:11,710
来

1443
01:29:12,440 --> 01:29:13,500
还有什么事?

1444
01:29:14,400 --> 01:29:15,230
我送你

1445
01:29:15,600 --> 01:29:17,750
我是去上天堂 又不是去旅行

1446
01:29:18,520 --> 01:29:19,990
你跟着去送死啊?

1447
01:29:20,760 --> 01:29:22,990
说的也是 那改天见了

1448
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:26,240
改天见? 那你可有得等了

1449
01:29:26,240 --> 01:29:27,350
放心好了

1450
01:29:27,360 --> 01:29:28,950
要跟你见面 我也是第一个

1451
01:29:28,960 --> 01:29:31,520
再过不了多久 我一定会来找你的了

1452
01:29:31,920 --> 01:29:32,870
再见了

1453
01:29:32,880 --> 01:29:33,990
你自己慢慢走了

1454
01:29:35,720 --> 01:29:37,190
清明别忘了给我烧纸钱

1455
01:29:38,720 --> 01:29:39,860
一路顺风

1456
01:29:40,320 --> 01:29:41,510
有空来信

1457
01:29:41,520 --> 01:29:43,110
想上天堂 不行啊

1458
01:29:43,640 --> 01:29:45,790
为什么? 已经证明我是好人了

1459
01:29:45,800 --> 01:29:46,990
为什么不能上天堂?

1460
01:29:47,680 --> 01:29:49,110
现在天堂的移民配额

1461
01:29:49,120 --> 01:29:50,390
全部都已经满了

1462
01:29:50,400 --> 01:29:54,710
想来这儿 凭你的条件 恐怕很难

1463
01:29:54,720 --> 01:29:55,630
那怎么办?

1464
01:29:56,440 --> 01:29:57,830
你可以投资

1465
01:29:57,840 --> 01:29:59,710
做个投资人还可以插队

1466
01:29:59,720 --> 01:30:00,670
你有没有带钱哪?

1467
01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:04,030
惨了 这次我没带纸钱来

1468
01:30:04,040 --> 01:30:04,950
没钱啊?

1469
01:30:05,880 --> 01:30:07,910
那只有下地狱了 下面不收钱的

1470
01:30:10,680 --> 01:30:12,390
谁是张标? 收货

1471
01:30:13,520 --> 01:30:14,710
我就是

1472
01:30:19,120 --> 01:30:21,550
是谁那么聪明知道我需要这钱

1473
01:30:24,680 --> 01:30:25,710
是你们?

1474
01:30:26,080 --> 01:30:27,060
谢了

1475
01:30:29,080 --> 01:30:30,710
天堂之门为你而开

1476
01:30:32,440 --> 01:30:34,150
总是要为你设想嘛

1477
01:30:34,160 --> 01:30:35,670
走 我请你们吃午饭去

1478
01:30:36,200 --> 01:30:37,230
好

1479
01:30:39,640 --> 01:30:40,590
这里的饭能吃吗?

1480
01:30:40,600 --> 01:30:41,740
我正想问你

1481
01:30:41,760 --> 01:30:43,230
你自己慢慢吃吧

1482
01:30:43,400 --> 01:30:44,380
就是啊 拜拜