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我带来了好消息 I bring good tidings.
翻译 草草 板凳狗 Fiona是小花
航行时间只增加六个月 Six months extra journey time.
最多 Max.
快来 Come here!
他真的很会夸大数据 He really exaggerates his numbers.
翻译 马丁马丁回音山 1.0
这里只说好消息 This is a designated good-news area.
不要扫兴 不要噩耗 听见没有 No downers, no frowners, missy.
前情回顾
翻译 哨厨 暗夜骚王 布塔
宇航局伸出援手 你却搞砸了 NASA extended a hand, and you shat in it!
吃屎吧 宇航局 Suck on that, NASA!
时间轴 DA 西·查
乔激励了我们所有人 Joe inspired us all.
愿他安息 May he rest.
他在环绕我们 He's orbiting us.
校对 布塔
这艘飞船太巨大了 This ship is so large
有自己的引力 that it has its own gravitational pull.
这是好事 对吧 That's a good thing, right?
没人想要一艘迷你飞船 I mean, nobody wants a little wussy ship.
后期 武汉加油！中国加油！
那三位受伤的乘客 The three injured passengers,
他们死了 they're dead.
僵尸 Zombies!
总监 布塔
那些不是僵尸 Those aren't zombies;
那些只是我们死去朋友的肢解的尸体 those are just the dismembered corpses of our dead friends.
我们不能再被当作家畜对待了 No more will we be treated like cattle.
-太对了 -来吧 - Yes! - Come on!
-对吧 -吃了有钱人 - Right? - Eat the rich!
不是那样 No, not that.
听我的呼吸声 Listen to my breathing.
听到我的声音多么放松了吗 You hear how relaxed my voice is?
放松 Relax.
你整个人都很柔软 脆弱 无骨 Your whole being is soft and frail and boneless.
这里好安静 It's so quiet in here.
你的心智放松自由 Your mind is loose and free...
大道五号 第一季 第三集
早上好 稍息 Morning. Stand easy.
好了 各位 请报告最新情况 Okay, boys and girls. Updates, please.
我们要盯紧最要紧的事 Let's keep our eyes on the prize.
马斯 轨道计算 Mads, trajectory calculations.
正在安全飞行 船长 We're flying safe, Cap.
诚实飞行 Fly true.
很好 纳迪亚 Good. Nadia.
轨道动力和子系统... Orbital dynamics and subsystems...
你午餐打算吃什么 What are you having for lunch, do you think?
我还没想好 I haven't decided.
我想吃辣肉酱 但是 I was thinking of chili, but...
马斯 系统一切正常吗 Mads, all systems MEKO?
是的 先生 当然 Yes, sir. Of course.
很好 莎拉 Good. Sarah...
辅助传感器启动 后天线就绪 Auxiliary sensors engaged. Rear antenna primed.
大道五号
你好 米娅 你好吗 Hello, Mia. How are you?
拉芙 我好吗 Oh, hey, Rav. How am I?
我住在男女混住的监狱里 I'm in a mixed prison cell.
我的后背...睡地板 My back is-- You know, sleeping on the floor
并不怎么舒服 别被狗唬了 is not as comfy as dogs make it look.
或许我们可以...轮流 Maybe we could... take turns?
让我睡地板 没门 I sleep on the floor? No way.
我还没听到你在说的话 I haven't heard anything you said yet
因为有延迟 但我猜 because of the delay, but I'm guessing it's something
差不多是问候我全家吧 along the lines of what I can go do to myself.
客房服务 Housekeeping.
什么 等等 你能稍后再来吗 What? Wait. I'm sorry can you come back--
-不能 -欢迎 这是我妻子 - No. - Welcome. This is my wife.
她喜欢睡按摩师 She likes to sleep with masseurs.
他是足底按摩师 道格 He's a reflexologist, Doug.
-那是门医学 -是啊 - It's a medical science. - Of course.
还能拿诺贝尔奖呢是吧 They give Nobel Prizes for that, don't they?
不好意思 等等 那是什么 I'm sorry, wait, what's that?
别告诉我 这我知道 是... Don't tell me, I know this one. Is-- Is it--
-是毛巾吧 -真好笑 - Is it a towel? - Oh, that's very funny.
不 毛巾一般是叠好的 No, it's usually folded into like a--
叠成天鹅或软塌塌的兔子 a swan or a saggy rabbit.
这个看上去像人类屁眼 It looks like a human anus.
对 那是括约肌 Yeah, that's a sphincter.
我还有一场灾难要应付 I've got a bit of a catastrophe to deal with
你也知道 因为你就身处其中 as you know because you're in it,
所以 我还是挂断吧 so I'm-- I'm gonna go.
不 拉芙 我们还没说完...别 No! Rav! We're not done with-- Don't!
你们好啊 你们卑鄙的邻居告诉我 Hey, guys. I've been informed by your rat-fink neighbors
你们还在进行激烈露骨的争吵 that you're still having loud and sexually graphic arguments.
去他们的 Fuck those guys.
我能帮什么忙吗 Is there anything I can do to help?
你们的客房服务员刚在我们床上摆了个菊花 Well, your housekeeper just put an asshole on our bed.
是我的床 My bed.
不 我觉得那是...不 就是菊花 No, I think that's a r-- No, that's an asshole.
撅得好漂亮 The puckering's beautiful.
-好 我稍后来帮你们 -好啊 - Okay. I can help you later. - Great.
他点的是煎蛋卷配香肠 He ordered the omelet with a sausage on the side.
这是另一种动物尸体 Well, this is a different dead animal
配另一种做法的鸡蛋 with different shaped eggs.
我们点的不是另一种 是吧 Well, different is not as ordered, is it?
要不闭着眼睛吃吧 Maybe eat it with your eyes closed.
神秘之餐 Mystery bites.
要不了多久 我们就要在食槽里吃饲料了 Before we know it, we're gonna be eating swill from a trough.
太好吃了 It's delicious.
但也不对 And wrong.
船长 过来 Captain. Come here.
我看到你看到我了 I can see that you see me.
马特 Matt.
我能拿你当防骂背心吗 Can I wear you as an insult-proof vest?
-当然 -凯利夫人 - Of course. - Mrs. Kelly.
有什么可以帮您的 How can we help?
弗兰克 跟这俩假笑的 Frank, tell this pair of empty smiles
说说你的双份鸡 about your double chicken.
服务员给我端来了鸡肉和鸡蛋 So, I got served chicken and eggs.
哪个先有呢 Which came first?
其实是一起来的 好吃 They came together, actually. Yummy!
你很开心吧 弗兰克 你真迷人 That made you happy. Frank, you are enchanting.
你知道什么不迷人吗 你那和事佬的语气 You know what's not enchanting? Your huckleberry tone.
没错 我快气死了 Yes, and I am seething with anger.
你准备好了吗 麦克斯 告诉他们 Okay, you ready for this? Max, talk at them.
我枕头上有口香糖 I found gum on my pillow.
在某些文化中 So, in some cultures,
这预示着好运 that's actually considered good luck.
-是吗 -蒂姆 上 - Yeah. - Tim, hit him.
你想打他也行 Physically if you want to.
托儿所的那个女人 她叫我儿子猪 The lady at the nursery, she called my son a pig.
对中国人来说 也就是大多数人 Well, to the Chinese, which is most people,
猪是财富和勤劳的象征 the pig represents wealth and hard work.
它们不是大家认为的那种 They're not the fat, filthy scavengers
-又脏由肥的食腐动物 -你逗我呢 - that everyone thinks they are. - Are you kidding?
好了 谢谢 马特 Okay. Thanks, Matt.
-谢谢 你去休息吧 -他妈的难以置信 - Thanks. You can stand down. - Unbe-goddamn-lievable.
去找贾德玩 Go and play with Judd,
因为你又疯又没用 because you've been a wild kind of useless.
麦克斯 我一想到 Max, I am disgusted
你被粘在枕头上就恶心 at the vision of you being stuck to a pillow.
如果你把那块口香糖给我 If you let me have the gum,
我会检查所有客房服务员的牙医记录 I will run it through the dental records for our housekeeping staff
并做出处置 and action will be taken.
你还要给他换干净的床品 送他水疗券 He will get fresh linen and a spa pass.
还有这些 Also that.
凯伦 我能说一句吗 Karen, could I just have a quick word?
我的猪儿子怎么解决 Hey, what about my pig son?
-你知道 我 -你好 - You know, I can-- - Hi.
我不禁注意到你应对乘客 I can't help noticing that you have a very special way
-很有一套 -谢谢 - of handling passengers. - Thank you.
或许你和我可以谈谈 Maybe you and I could talk about
我们该如何善用这种管人的技能 how we could harness those people wrangling skills.
真有趣 我很感兴趣 Well, that is intriguing. I am intrigued.
你知道去哪找我 Well, you know where to find me.
我会去找你的 Oh, I will find you.
你真了不起 太了不起了 You were incredible! That was incredible!
你就像圣女贞德 You were like Joan of Arc!
亲爱的 圣女贞德死在火刑柱上了 Honey, Joan of Arc died on a stake in a fire.
-宝贝 你的确很惹火 -行了吧 - Well, baby, you were on fire. - Oh, come on.
吃你的东西吧 You may eat that.
请进 Come in.
我的门总是坏的 My door's always broken.
如果你喜欢轨道色情 So, if trajectory porn is your thing,
那就准备好爽上天吧 prepare to get your rocks off.
这是新的预测航线 Ta-da. That is your new course projection.
够性感吧 Isn't she luscious?
六个月到地球 新航线 土卫五 土星 大道五号
事实证明 赛勒斯不中看但中用 Turns out Cyrus isn't just not a pretty face.
这下证实了 So it's confirmed.
干得漂亮 年轻人 Bravo, youngling.
六个月到地球 新航线 土卫五 土星 大道五号 地球
我现在只需要有人来 Only thing I need now is for someone
修好我的破门 to fix my cocking door!
门归马特管 怪马特吧 Doors are Matt's remit. Blame Matt.
都怪马特吧 Let's all blame Matt.
我们可以把责任都推给马特 We can heap blame onto Matt like he's an empty plate
他就像是自助餐上的空盘子 at an all-you-can-blame buffet.
别担心 再过短短六个月 Don't worry, in six short months,
你就再也不会见到马特 you're never gonna have to see Matt
以及其他四千五百个狱友了 or any of the 4,500 other cellmates ever again.
-五千 -是吗 - Five thousand. - Is that what it is?
感觉像有五百万 凯伦一人顶几百万人 Feels like five million. Karen feels like most of those.
我要去 I'm gonna go
再调戏一下这些幸运数字 and fondle these lucky numbers one last time,
然后我们就搞定了 and then we're all set.
祝你好运 我汗流浃背的小朋友 Godspeed, my sweaty little friend.
别让它感受到你的恐惧 Just d-- don't let it feel your fear.
还有一件有趣的事 Oh, one more fun thing.
还记得约翰吗 葡萄牙人 Remember Johann? Portuguese?
-高个儿 死了 在外面的那个 -记得 - Tall, dead, out there? - Yes.
他的胳膊冻住了 然后上臂碎了 Well, his arm froze and the top part shattered,
现在 他的手和胳膊肘在环绕他的棺材 and now, his hand and his elbow are orbiting his coffin.
拜托 就算是你也得承认 Come on, even you've got to admit
太空有时候还挺酷的 that space is pretty fucking cool sometimes.
真的吗 很明显孩子们被吓到了 Is it? 'Cause apparently, it's frightening the children.
女人们也是 还有男人们 Also, the women. Also, the men.
这艘飞船已经实现了18%的自给自足 The ship is already 18 percent self-sufficient.
我们将废水净化为饮用水 We turn our waste fluids into drinking water
我们的花园种了简单的菌类 and our garden grows basic fungi.
极度寡淡无味 但饱腹感强 It's incredibly bland, but it's very filling.
就像是在吃微微调味的床垫 It's like eating a lightly seasoned mattress.
我肚子里的绦虫从屁股爬出来 I see the tape worm moved out of my ass
买了套西装穿上了 and bought a suit.
马特在这里是因为我需要更多的智慧 Matt is here because I need more brains around the table.
上次我让你去解决问题 Last time I left you to solve a problem,
我向窗外望去 看到三个死去的顾客 I looked outside my window and saw three dead customers
-向我挥手致意 -死人不会挥手 - waving back at me. - They weren't waving.
这些是蛋白质球吗 能给我一个吗 Are those protein balls? Can I have one?
不 当然不行 我演示要用 No, absolutely not. I need them for my show.
-演示 -没错 - Show? - Yes!
我想过一遍救援任务 I would like to go over the rescue mission,
看我们如何把 how we're gonna get
五千条人命全部送下飞船 every one of the 5,000 souls off the ship.
把这个蛋白质球想象成地球 So, imagine that this protein ball is Earth,
这个蛋白质球是救援船 and this protein ball is a rescue shuttle.
那么 地球和救援船 So then, Earth and the rescue shuttle
是同样大小的 are the same size.
-什么 不 天啊 -不 - What? No? Ah, Jesus. - N--
你刚刚是发射了一艘飞船 Did you just launch one of the ships
还是摧毁了地球 or did you destroy Earth?
智囊团 用用你的大脑 Hey, brains trust. Use your mind
把它们想象成不一样的东西 to make one thing seem like it's another thing.
看 她就可以 欢迎回来爱瑞丝 See? She can do it. Hey, welcome back, Iris.
我们要这样绕圈 拿着地球 We are gonna circle round like this. Hold Earth.
我们会逐渐缩短距离 And then, we're gonna come around closer,
最后贴着地球飞过 对吗 and then, eventually, brush against Earth. Correct?
其实还有一百万公里的距离 Well, we'll be half a million kilometers away.
对 非常近 但一点都不近 Yes, so close and yet, absolutely nowhere near.
对于太空飞船来说足够近了 Close enough for a space shuttle.
但是 科学 But... science!
我们只能以这么近的距离 We're only gonna be this close to Earth
环绕地球一天左右 for like a day or something.
最多四十八小时 Forty-eight hours in reachable range.
时间很紧张 It's a very tight window.
天杀的爱瑞丝 不要这么消极 Goddamnit Iris! Stop being so negative!
严格来说 她说的是事实 Technically, that was just the truth!
但确实 你的语气不善 But yes, you did sort of say it in a minor key.
听着 每艘救援船只能载十个人 Now, each rescue shuttle can only hold ten people,
所以 我们需要不止一艘救援船 so... we're gonna need more than one shuttle.
-因为实际上有 -实际上有 - Because there are actually... - Actually--
超过十名乘客 more than ten passengers
-在这艘船上 -在船上 - onboard this ship. - Onboard--
倒计时 这就是我想说的 T-minus, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
倒计时 那是什么 你的说唱艺名吗 T-minus? What is that, your rap name?
得了抑郁症就是像你这样吗 爱瑞丝 Is this what depression looks like, Iris?
如果是真的话 离我远一点 'Cause if so, get that stuff away from me.
但同时给我找五百艘救援船 But also, uh, get me 500 rescue shuttles.
我不知道你们感觉如何 但我超开心 I don't know about y'all, but I am feeling jazzed.
团队合作真有趣 Teamwork is fun.
如果他要五百艘飞船 If he wants 500 ships,
贾德指挥中心
那他就得换个态度 he needs to change his attitude.
贾德星系
我身经百战 拉芙 I have a thick skin, Rav.
我参加过华为战争 I mean, I fought in the Huawei Wars,
但那个人 我明确告诉你 他真的是 but that man, I'm telling you, he is one seriously...
-那些人是在门外吗 -那是祈福活动 - Is that here? Is that outside? - That's the vigil.
他们是地球上的乘客家属 It's Earth-based families of the passengers.
那就是我们小小的祈福吗 That's us, is it? That's our tiny vigil? I--
是的 并且出现了大幅... Yeah. Also, there's been a surge in--
算了 这个不归你管 don't worry about it. It's not your area.
大道五号上的事都归我管 If it's on Avenue 5, it is my area.
苏珊 我恰巧知道贾徳先生 Susan, I happen to know that Mr. Judd
对你及其地崇敬 respects you vehemently.
艾伦 归我管的事呢 Alan, what's my area?
关于毛巾的投诉量大幅增长 There's been a surge in complaints about towels.
有的只是因为脏 有的是因为被摆成了 Some are just dirty, others are being fashioned
不能直视的人体结构 into obscene parts of the human anatomy.
-这不归我管 -我也觉得 - That's not my area. - Yeah, I thought not.
毛巾 请容我代表宇航局 Towels? On behalf of NASA,
说一句 认真的吗 let me say, "Seriously?"
我得挂断了 再见 苏珊 Okay, I should go. Bye-bye for now, Susan.
苏珊超搞笑 不是吗 Susan's fucking funny, isn't she?
苏珊真是太他妈的搞笑了 Isn't Susan fucking funny?
接下来要做的 就是让你们 So, what we're gonna do is you're gonna let out
释放彼此之间的有毒能量 all this toxicity between you two.
我们把它关进这里 然后放走 Then, we're gonna trap it in here, and then let it go.
就像一只剧毒的美丽蝴蝶 Like a beautiful poison butterfly.
好的 谁先来 Okay. Who goes first?
-我先吧 -没问题 - I'll go. - Oh, sure. Okay.
天呐 这是我老公吗 Oh, lord! Am I married to this?
斯坦 宝贝 你看起来棒极了 我喜欢这眼镜 Stan, baby, you look amazing. I love those glasses.
贾徳伏特加
你看起来很精神 You look very clever.
我戴眼镜看起来像焊工 When I put mine on, I just look like a welder.
瑞恩 你好 Oh, hi, Ryan.
拉芙 你好 我感到不被重视 Hey, Rav. I am feeling really undervalued
因为你决定把我囚禁在太空 by your decision to imprison me in space.
拉芙根本预料不到会发生这种事 Rav had no clue this was gonna happen.
这是她的工作 所以她应该预料到的 It's her job, so she should have had a clue.
天呐 给她点时间 Jeez, give her some time.
我直视他的眼睛 尽我所能 So, I look him in the eye, best I can.
考虑到当时的情况 然后我说 You know, given the... and I say,
"你不可能把我塞进这个头盔里" "You'll never get me inside that helmet."
先等他绕过去的 Just wait for that one to go.
我有个激动人心的消息 I have exciting news.
我之前跟你说要花 You know I told you that it was gonna be--
要花三年时间 其实不用 只要六个月 it was gonna be three years. It's not. It's six months.
你又喝酒了吗 Are you drinking again?
不 这是番茄汁 No, this is tomato juice.
主要是番茄汁 对前列腺有好处 It's mostly tomato juice. It's dynamite for the prostate.
总之 你应该能听到... Anyway, you should be hearing--
六个月 It's six months.
-等等 六个月 -听到了 - Wait, six months? - There we go.
我的好日子 I only have a couple more years
没有几年了 before everything falls apart...
-很好 -而我却和你被困在这里 - Good. - and I'm stuck here with you.
-你的生物钟不等人 -没错 - Your biological clock is ticking. - Yes!
-她这么自恋不适合生孩子 -很好 - She's a little self-absorbed for kids. - Good!
是吗 然而 Oh, oh, oh, and yet,
-我却和一个36岁巨婴被困在一起 -很好 - I am stuck with a 36-year-old one. - Good.
我这个巨婴随时能换个干妈 One who could get himself adopted anytime.
六个月还是太长了 八周都太长了 Six months is still too long. Eight weeks was too long.
得了吧 斯坦 这是基础物理 Oh, for fuck's sake, Stan. It's basic physics.
你穿同一条牛仔裤的时间都比这长 You've worn the same pair of jeans for longer than that.
鞋拔子 很有趣 不是吗 Shoehorns. Pretty funny, aren't they?
她不这么觉得 She doesn't think they are. Um...
-是她 -是他 - There she is! - There he is.
斯坦 我们的丈夫在太空 Oh, Stan, our husband's in space.
-你们俩看上去棒极了 -你在喝酒 - You two look so amazing. - You're drinking.
对 他刚才说他前列腺不好 Yeah, he just said that he's got a bad prostate,
他要用伏特加来自我治疗 and he's self-medicating with vodka.
-他还说要花六个月 -这不是我的原话 - He also said that it's gonna be six months. - Not quite what I said,
对吧 斯坦 Stan, is it?
六个月吗 Six months?
他们的婚姻就他妈像兴登堡号 拉芙 Their marriage is like the fucking Hindenburg, Rav!
就像一艘燃烧的飞艇 Just a flaming dirigible
从后门往外掉纳粹尸体 with dead Nazis falling out of the bottom.
得了吧 Oh, for fuck's sake,
斯坦 这是基础物理 Stan. It's basic physics.
我懂物理的 瑞恩 I do understand the physics, Ryan.
如果你在家洗衣服的话 Maybe I'd change my jeans
也许我会换条牛仔裤 if you were here to do the washing.
你有完没完了 Have you finished?
这必须是最后一次航行 瑞恩 This has to be the last trip, Ryan.
别再做八周航行了 Let's not do the eight-week thing again.
咱们老实说吧 你们不差钱 You don't mind the money, let's be honest.
他们太悲催了 所有人都讨厌他们 They're miserable. Everyone hates them.
他们希望自己从未出生过 They wish they'd never been born.
我受不了了 I can't do this anymore!
现在你打算怎么办 拉芙 What are you gonna do now, Rav?
现在你打算怎么修复这烂摊子 How are you gonna fix this now?
现在发送 Now send.
什么 What?
好 发送了 没问题了 And that's it, sent. All good.
什么 你发给拉芙了 What are you-- What, you sent that to Rav?
我得走了 I gotta go.
他们在装橘子的箱子里发现了老鼠 They found a rat in the clementines.
玛蒂娜 又有老鼠了 Hey, Martina, the rat's back.
经济舱 708室
我们需要更多的钱... We need more money than there is money--
-多少次了 -27次 - How many times-- - Twenty-seven.
你跟我说了多少次了 哪次我给你钱了 How many times have you said that and I got the money?
27次 但这是第一次 Twenty-seven. But this is the first time
五千条人命悬一线 five thousand human lives have been on the line.
应该是 等等 不 是的 I think. Wait. No, yeah, it is.
我们需要引起关注 我们需要祈福活动 We need people to care. We need a vigil.
有祈福活动 Th-- There is a vigil.
太不幸了 我是说人太少 That is sad. For the wrong reason.
记得那个给死于法国饥荒的孩子 Remember that vigil for the children who died
搞的祈福活动吗 "饥荒" in the French famine. Uh... La Famine?
很悲惨 Très tragic.
我们得碾压那次祈福 该怎么做 We need to shit on that vigil. How do we do that?
我不知道 我们该怎么做 I don't know. How do we do that?
不 我在问你 爱瑞丝 我们该怎么做 No, I'm asking you, Iris. How do we do that?
演员 Actors.
扮演真实的人 To play real people.
但那就是 Oh, but that would be very...
不诚实 dishonest.
-除非有用 -我现在就去雇演员 - Unless it worked. - I'll hire the actors now.
他们得一脸丧气 而且没加工会 They gotta be sad looking and non-union.
前者往往是后者的结果 One thing usually means the other.
你来了 There she is.
天啊 Oh, boy.
我等你等得都喝完半瓶了 I was expecting you about half a bottle ago.
这不是客舱 这是篮球场 This isn't a cabin, it's a basketball court.
你介意我 Mind if I, uh...
不 请自便吧 No, you can help yourself.
富人就是这么过日子的 Oh, this is how the other half lives.
还有过世 这房间是过世的玛丽的 And dies. This room belonged to dead Mary.
她还有25分钟就会绕过来 She's gonna be coming around in about 25 minutes.
这是我们的高级观星套房 Yeah, this is our, uh, Executive Stargazer Suite.
真漂亮 Beautiful.
真奇怪 这个有点色情 Curious. This... This is just a little porny.
如果你搬进来的话 Well, we could get rid of that,
我们可以把那个去掉 you know, if you were to move in.
这个住处符合乘客联络员的身份 This is an accommodation fitting for the Passenger Liaison Officer.
好吧 这听起来有点像调戏 Okay. I mean, that sounds a little like salty talk.
不 我的意思是你懂乘客 No, I just mean you speak passenger.
你能解决他们的问题 而马特 I mean, you solve their problems, whereas Matt just...
只会火上浇油 turns them into balloon animals.
我觉得应该给你一个正式职位 I think we should formalize that role.
好啊 Okay.
你将成为乘客联络员 You would be Passenger Liaison Officer.
-有意思 -很好 - It's interesting. - Fantastic.
你要我过去吗 You want me to come over there?
对 这是2024年的莫尼耶皮诺 Yeah. This is a, uh, 2024 Pinot Meunier.
-非常好的年份 -史上最热的一年 - Excellent year. - Hottest year on record.
我们水池里的鱼都被热死了 The fish in our pond boiled to death.
我们敬鱼一杯 我们像鱼一样喝几杯 Let's drink to the fish. Let's drink like fish.
喝就完事 Let's just drink.
好 我先把话说清楚 Okay, look, I should make it clear
上床可不在菜单上 that coitus is not on the menu.
这菜单真奇怪 不过你说得对 That's a very odd menu, but sure, absolutely.
很好 Great.
心都醉了 这酒太妙了 Tickle my ring piece, that is absolutely exquisite.
-什么情况 -你说什么 - What is that? - What's what?
喝一口香槟你就变成英国人了吗 Does drinking champagne turn you British?
什么意思 你 但你知道 What you mean? You-- But you know.
你不是知道吗 I mean, you knew, didn't you?
什么 你是英国人 What? You are British?
你真的从英国来的吗 You're from actual Britland?
不是 No.
我搞混了 抱歉 I get so confused. I'm sorry.
我就是 抱歉 真不好意思 I just get-- I'm sorry. I really am sorry.
你都道歉三次了 你真是英国人 That's three sorries. You really are British.
我跟一群人假装自己是美国人 I'm pretending to be American to one lot of people.
我跟另一群人假装自己是船长 I'm pretending to be a captain to another lot of people.
-我假装在乎... -什么 你说什么 - I'm pretending to care-- - What? Sorry, what?
该死 我又说漏了 是吧 Shit, I've done it again, haven't I?
说漏什么 你在说什么 我不太... Done what-- what have you done? I don't really--
-没什么 -好吧 - Nothing. - Okay.
你刚才说假装是船长 You said pretending to be captain?
对 Yeah.
好吧 那真船长在哪里 Okay, where is the real captain?
他在外面 He's... out there.
-比玛丽晚大概十分钟 -不 不 - About ten minutes behind Mary. - No, no, no. No. No.
-对 就是这样 -不 这不可能 - I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Uh-uh. No. That's not happening.
-这一点都不好笑 -凯伦 听我说 - Not funny. Not funny. - Karen. This is-- Listen.
你知道吗 你该闭嘴了 You know what? You need to shut up!
好吧 正在闭嘴 Okay. Shutting up.
不 这也太 你 Oh, no. This is so-- You--
我们都 你就是个说谎的混蛋 We're-- And you're a lying D-head!
我是被雇来当形式船长的 好吗 I was hired to be like a ceremonial captain. Okay?
这话什么意思 那你是演员吗 是吗 What? What does that mean? So you're an actor. Yeah?
好吧 刚过去的十秒里 Oh, okay. Right, in the last ten seconds,
你已经换了大洲和职业 you just changed continents and careers.
不 其实我的第一份工作是卖酒的 No, actually, my first career was in the wine trade.
好啊 我们被困在太空中的铁罐里 So, we're just up here in this giant tin can
掌舵的还是个酒鬼 with a boozehound driving!
说句公道话 大部分演员都是酒鬼 To be fair, most actors are boozehounds.
我的老天爷 Oh, big fat Buddha.
我要喘不过气来了 I am hyper-effing-ventilating here.
你要干什么 What are you doing now?
我得倒着 因为我不想在骂完你之前 I need to invert because I do not wanna pass out
就昏过去 你个吸丁的混蛋 before I finish yelling at you, you mother-effing C-sucker!
要是其他人知道了 When other people find out about this...
他们才不会 丁丁 听懂了 No, they're not going-- Oh, "cock." Got it.
他们不会知道的 这就是重点 They're not going to find out. That's the whole point.
-这就是 -对 好啊 - That's-- - Okay, yeah.
因为你的头会被钉在中庭 Because your head is gonna be on a spike in the Atrium.
你先安静一下 行不行 Oh, wind your neck in, will you?
你觉得大家想看到谁管事 Look, who do you think people want to see in charge?
他们想看到船长还是葡萄酒商 They wanna see a captain or a vintner?
我觉得是船长 你说呢 I think a captain, don't you?
重点是 我们被困在这个带商标的假阳具里 The point is, we are trapped here on a branded dildo
在太空中飞驰 满载惊慌失措的禽兽 hurtling through space, full of panicky animals
如果我不展现领导力的话 who are gonna start painting the wall with their turds
他们马上就要开始大粪涂墙互相啃脚了 and eating each other's feet unless I show leadership,
而我需要你来帮助我 and I need you to help me do that.
给我一杯 Give me one of those.
好 而且这个客舱归我 对吧 Okay. I also get this cabin, right?
客舱 当然 The cab... Oh, absolutely.
其实我 我本来打算 I was actually... I was gonna give you a...
把迷你酒吧的钥匙放在信封里给你的 an envelope with a mini bar key in it. I was...
顺便一提 不是很迷你 which is by the way, not so mini.
贾德星系
-我受不了了 -你很享受吧 拉芙 - I can't do this anymore. - Are you enjoying this, Rav?
两个字 虫洞 Two words. Worm holes.
如果它们存在 就可以被创造出来 If they exist, they can be created.
我怀念毛毛雨 我怀念狗叫声 I miss drizzle. I miss dogs barking.
我怀念没有贾德名字的卫生纸 I miss toilet paper without a J on it.
我这个巨婴随时能换个干妈 Yeah, I can get myself adopted anytime!
我受不了了 I can't do this anymore!
我受不了了 I can't do this anymo...
好了 船长 Okay, Captain.
首席乘客联络员上岗了 Chief Passenger Liaison Officer on duty.
你开始搞偷渡客了啊 So. Screwing the stowaway now, huh?
我没有 什么 No, I am not. Not... What?
这是什么意思 What is that? I...
不是 凯伦在协助乘客服务 No, Karen is helping with passenger services.
对 "凯伦" Right. "Karen."
我打赌你现在肯定沾沾自喜 I bet you're feeling pretty pleased with yourself.
-没有 -你最好别 - No. - Well, you shouldn't.
-我没有 -因为我从没见那女人满意过 - I'm not. - 'Cause I've never seen that woman happy.
那不关我的事 Well, that has nothing to do with me.
我相信你 床上猛男 Yeah, I believe you, Mr. Bad in Bed.
跟你聊几句很开心 Well, I really enjoyed this little talk,
但我要去舰桥了 but I'm off to the bridge now.
舰桥在震的时候别来敲门 when the bridge comes a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'.
我待会再见你和你的炮友 See you and the little fuckatee later.
赛勒斯 Hey, Cyrus.
我身着闪亮短裤的骑士 有什么消息 My knight in shining shorts. What do you got?
你们会喜欢的 有个小问题 You're gonna love this. Uh, slight snag.
我没有把飞船的额外重量考虑在内 I didn't factor in the ship's extra weight.
额外的五百个彩票中奖者 Those 500 extra lottery winners.
你要用数字搞我们了是吧 You're gonna number-fuck us, aren't you?
你没有考虑 You didn't factor...
意思是你没算进去 就想问清楚 meaning you didn't count. Just to be clear.
是的 实际上我的结果是再加六个月 Right. Yeah. So, my numbers are actually adding six months.
在你之前估计的六个月上 Six months more than the six months
再加六个月 that you estimate.
三年基础上再加六个月 Six months in addition to the three years.
你是说航行现在要三年半才能结束 you're saying the voyage is now gonna take three and a half years,
再问清楚一点 just so we're appallingly clear.
-是滴 -"是滴" - Yep. - "Yep"?
你不能说"是滴" 现在可不是说"是滴"的时候 You can't say "yep." This isn't a time for "yep."
"是的" 表肯定 "Yes." Affirmative.
赛勒斯 你就像是背着一大袋屎的圣诞老人 Cyrus, you're like Santa Claus with a sack full of shit.
你有什么可行的建议吗 Do you have any options that you can suggest?
有一个 Well, there's the one.
你知道我在说什么 You know what I'm talking about.
我知道你知道我在说什么 I know you know what I'm talking about.
不 我不知道 我又不是表情专家 No. I don't... I'm not fluent in facial expressions.
-你讲出来吧 -好 好 - You should try words. - Okay, okay.
可以缩短航行时间 It could be shorter...
只要我们丢掉额外的五百人 if we lose those extra 500 people.
丢掉 Lose?
他们又不是一串钥匙 你他妈的精神病 They're not a set of keys, you fucking psychopath.
船长 洗衣服出了点问题 Oh, Captain, we have a laundry issue.
是吗 Oh, do we?
你肩上那么多道杠不该这么紧张 For a man with such epaulettes, you look remarkably rattled.
那么凯伦 今天就该你履行职责了 Well, now, Karen. Today may be the day you justify your title.
新的航行时间出来了 We have a new journey time.
好的 不 我不喜欢 Okay. Oh, no. I don't like the way
你的嘴型 很长时间吗 your mouth is shaping up. Is it a big number?
三个半 Three and a half.
不 我操 我操他妈的奶棍 不 No. F me. F me with a... CB. No!
-年吗 -不 是小时 - Years? - No, hours.
每次都要解释吗 Are we gonna do this every time?
-当然是三年半 -好吧 - Yes! Three and a half years! - Okay.
-你什么时候告诉他们 -我不告诉 - When are you gonna tell them? - I'm not.
这才是重点 凯伦 你去告诉他们 That's the point, Karen. You're gonna tell them.
你告诉他们还要安抚他们 You're gonna do the telling and the selling.
还有奶棍是什么鬼东西 And what the fuck is a CB?
-奶酪法棍 -好吧 - Cheese baguette. - Okay.
这是典型的乘客联络事宜 凯伦 Well, this is classic passenger liaison, Karen.
你得过去 You've gotta go out there,
你得用拉丝法棍告诉他们最新情况 and you've gotta liaise them up the a with a very cheesy baguette.
好 Okay.
我找了几个祈福活动的演员 I've got some actors' faces for you for the vigil.
-她长得不错 -对 - Oh, she's got a great look. - Yeah.
满脸写着"快捐钱" She screams "donate some money."
我愿意捐个几万美元 我不会捐 I'd give them tens of thousands of dollars. I mean, I wouldn't.
我不相信慈善 但有人会捐 I don't believe in charity. But someone could.
他长得像猫 He looks like a cat.
她把她妈关在地下室了 Oh, she keeps her mom in the basement.
双胞胎 这主意其实不错 Twins. That's a great idea, actually.
安排她们两班倒 每班12小时 Let's book 'em for two 12-hour shifts.
-媒体来了 -很好 - The, uh, media are here. - Right, good.
我爱死新闻发布会了 我们去吧 I love press conferences. Let's do this!
好 Yes!
-你能行吗 -没问题 - Are you okay to do this? - Yeah, no problem.
还有 他们重新计算了时间 One thing, the delay has been recalculated
-变成了三年六个月 -不会吧 - to three years and six months. - No!
一次一个问题 请说 One question at a time. Yes.
新出现的残骸是什么 What's the new debris?
最悲惨的残骸 人的遗体 The most tragic form of debris, the remains of people,
正在环绕飞船和我们的心 orbiting the ship and our hearts.
舰桥船员 听好了 Okay, bridge crew. Listen up.
我需要一条返回地球的新航线 谁有答案 I need a new course back to Earth. Anybody.
这些人可帮不了你 None of these people are gonna be able to help you.
-什么意思 -赛勒斯 - What do you mean? - Cyrus...
比莉 你没告诉他船员的事吗 Billie? You didn't tell him about the crew?
告诉我什么 Tell me what?
还没 好吗 Not yet, okay?
回去工作 Back to work.
你有没有注意到 Do you notice anything
这群异常好看的人有什么特点 about this oddly good looking group of people?
他们很有魅力 非常有魅力 They're attractive. They're very attractive.
简直像演员似的 他们就是演员 Almost like they're actors. They're actors.
比莉 Billie.
-你还好吗 -我很好 - Are you okay? - I'm fine.
比莉 他们是全星系最棒的船员 Billie, this is the greatest crew in the galaxy.
你是说这些船员不是真实的吗 You're saying the crew's not real?
-我说的就是这意思 -纳迪亚 - That's exactly what I'm saying. - Uh, Nadia.
-汇报系统情况 -所有系统都正常 先生 - Systems update. - All systems are nominal, sir.
那是事先写好的回答 That's a scripted response.
纳迪亚 飞片发射器的情况怎么样 Nadia, how's the flitter emitter doing?
飞片发射器吗 The flitter emitter?
完全正常 百分百正常 先生 It's, uh, completely nominal. Hundred percent nominal, sir.
-百分百正常 -是的 - One hundred percent nominal. - Yes, it is.
不是 那不是真的...那是我编的 No, it's not. It's not a real th... I made that up.
你 你是冒牌货 You... You're an imposter?
-演员 -他们都是 - Actor. - They all are.
-他们都是演员 -不 不 不 - They're all actors. - No, no, no, no.
-是 是 是 -不 不可能 马斯 - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - No, no. No way. Mads.
哪条航线返回地球最快 What is the quickest course back to Earth?
我们往下 穿过 We head downwards, uh, through, um...
1997年科幻电影
黑洞表面 Event Horizon.
你他妈在耍我吧 Oh, you are shitting me.
你在耍我吧 马斯 You're shitting me. Mads!
-拉芙 -好的 一个一个来 请说 - Rav! - Okay, uh, yes. One of... Yes.
你说吧 小姑娘 You, little lady.
整个行动要花多少钱 How much will the whole operation cost?
-请说 先生 后面的那位 -拉芙 拉芙 - Yes, sir? You at the back? - Rav! Rav!
不久前 有人告诉我们 A little while ago, we were all told
旅行时间是六个月 that our journey time was going to be six months.
现在有新消息 我刚刚得知是五年 There's been an update. I was just told five years.
什么 什么 What the... What?
这里有谁知道自己在干什么吗 Does anybody here know what the fuck they're doing?
我用这个按钮控制灯光 Yeah, I, uh, control the lights with this button here.
你看 正常 夸张 Watch. Normal. Dramatic.
正常 夸张 Normal. Dramatic.
-明白了吧 -什么 - You get the idea. - What?
不 这是最先进的舰桥 No, this... This is a state-of-the-art bridge,
不是什么全自动的蹩脚钢琴 not some crappy piano that plays itself.
看这个 瞧 Looks at this. Look.
不 你把手拿开 No, okay, now, take your hands off.
把手拿开 Take your hands away. And it...
要了命了 Oh, for... fuck's sake.
-你就只会做... -做这个是需要技巧的 - So, all you can do is... - Yeah, there is a skill to it.
还是我来吧 So, if I just... do my thing.
就这样吧 和我的怒气很搭 Yeah, leave it like that. It just suits my rage.
工程师说是五年 The engineers said that it would be five years.
我拒绝接受 And I refused to accept it.
她直接拒绝 非常激动人心的时刻 She simply refused. It was a very exciting moment.
最终 他们屈服了 And eventually, they caved.
拉芙 对航行有什么影响 Rav, what's the impact on the voyage?
三年 再加几个月 六个月 Three years... plus some more months. Six.
六个月 Six months.
一旦我们了解更多的情况 As soon as we know anything more,
-就会第一个告诉... -第二个 - you will be the first-- - Second.
第二个告诉你们 Second to know.
白痴的集合名词是什么 一蠢白痴 What is the collective noun for idiots? A thick?
不 见鬼 Non mais merde!
我受过三年的演员训练 I did three years' training as an actor.
我是手模 所以我有资格 Yeah, and I'm a hand model, so I am... qualified actually.
而且如果我们都要抱怨的话 And if we are all airing our grievances here,
我已经入戏四周了 I've been in character for four weeks now.
已经产生了创造性的影响 It is taking its toll creatively.
你呢 也等着赢托尼奖吗 What about you? In line for a Tony?
我吗 不 我是模特 只是长得好看而已 Me? No, I'm a model. I'm just good looking.
但我以为是你们在驾驶飞船 But I thought you were flying the ship.
我们还以为是你在驾驶飞船 Well, we thought you were flying the ship.
你有方向盘 You've got the steering wheel.
这 这不是 This-- I-- That's not--
有动静吗 没有吧 You feel anything? No!
因为这是假的 纳迪亚 Because this is a Magritte, Nadia.
这不是方向盘 Ce n'est pas un steering wheel!
我都不知道它是怎么升降的 I don't even know how it goes up and down.
其实这也是我操作的 按这个按钮 Oh, I do that as well, actually. Just this button.
你看 你怎么会不知道 你怎么会不知道 You see? How could you not know? How could you not know?
我感觉你在攻击我 I feel you're attacking me!
我就是在攻击你 所以你才有这种感觉 I am attacking you. That's why you feel that.
我在攻击你 I'm attacking you.
他们说 "凯伦 为了你 我们可以做到四年" They said, "Karen, for you, we're gonna make it four years."
太气人了 Incredibly irritating.
我说 "四年 如果你们不能 I said, "Four years? If you can't come back to me
改成三年半 那就没得谈了 with three and a half years, we're done here."
你猜他们改成多久了吗 So, you know what they came back to me with?
三年半 厉害吧 Three and a half years, people. Boom!
少了18个月 够强硬 Eighteen months less. Hardball!
干得好 老大 You get 'em, chief!
不好意思 我不明白 Yeah, hi, I'm sorry. I don't understand.
如果他们能做到三年半 为什么要 Why would they tell you five years if, uh...
告诉你五年 这不合理 if they could do it three and a half? It makes no sense.
你不明白 You don't understand.
-我也不明白 -是啊 - I don't understand. - Right.
只有她明白 She's the only one who does.
是的 Yeah.
高价悬赏 A king's ransom for anyone
知道自己在干什么的人 who knows what the fuck they're doing.
好了好了 赛勒斯 过来 Okay, okay. Cyrus, come on.
什么 What?
这是什么 赌博组织吗 What is this? A betting syndicate?
伙计 我是说船长 Hey, man. Uh... Captain.
见见真正的工程师吧 Meet your real engineers.
这艘船大部分是自动化的 This ship is mainly automated,
但我们还是需要一些船员 but we do need a few crew members
来进行维护 免得船沉了 just to keep up with maintenance, keep us afloat.
这里就像是台面 而那里 So, this is like front of house, and that's...
-是后台 -她说的船沉了 - backstage. - When she says afloat,
是一种拟物化概念... that's sort of a skeuomorphic construct--
你 给我立刻闭嘴 Hey, you. Shut all of that. Right now.
这船上有真实的吗 比莉 Is nothing real, Billie?
我是真实的 我在任何意义上都是真实的 Yes, I'm real. I'm very real in every sense of the word,
只是贾德想要性感的船员 it's just that Judd wanted hot crew,
但工程师和性感完全没有交集 and there's just no intersection in that Venn diagram.
除了咱俩 比莉 Yeah, just you and me, Billie.
你又算错了 Another miscalculation.
贾德知道这事吗 Does Judd know about this?
你觉得他是这么细致的人吗 Does he strike you as a details kind of guy?
好 不能让他知道 Okay, he can never know.
不能让他知道 大家明白吗 He cannot know. Everybody get that?
坚决不能让贾德发现 Judd must operate on a never-need-to-know basis.
明白吗 Okay?
乘客到达舰桥 Passengers on the bridge.
欢迎来到舰桥 Welcome to the bridge.
没事的 都会没事的 It's gonna be fine. It's all gonna be fine.
回家的航线已经定好 Our course home has been set.
很多人指望我们带他们回家 There's a lot of people counting on us to get them there.
莎拉 灯光 Sarah, lights.
他们还在后面吗 Are they still fucking there?
对 Yep.