hey i'm lima and growing up i always
wanted to be different
i guess that's why i became a goth i
still remember the first day i came to
school wearing
all black everyone looked at me and i
even heard one kid say
i think she worships the devil it only
showed how judgmental people were
of course i've never worshiped the devil
and in fact
i was a pretty normal girl that liked to
watch series like very odd parents in
the simpsons
but what i loved about being a goth was
all the attention i got
maybe i wasn't the prettiest girl but i
sure stood out the most
and that was no wonder because i'd spend
hours over my makeup
and then choosing the perfect outfit to
create the right look
but one day a guy came up to me on the
street and asked if i'd ever
thought about modeling i said no i mean
when was the last time you saw a goth on
the cover of vogue
but he said he worked at a modeling
agency and my body and bone structure
were perfect for modeling when he told
me i could also make a lot of money
i immediately said yes but jeez
if i'd known then what i know now i
would have run away
fast as possible obviously the goth look
had to go i needed to look like a
professional model and get photos taken
for my portfolio
a couple months later i booked my first
job a photo shoot for a makeup company
i felt so uncomfortable being in front
of the camera but i pushed through
and when i got paid i felt amazing even
though it was just a few hundred dollars
but over the next three years my career
really took off
and i had lots of clients who wanted to
book me and suddenly
i was traveling all over the world from
new york to london to milan
and right on my 18th birthday i was
walking the catwalk for the first time
in italy wearing a beautiful white dress
it was such a rush even though i felt
intimidated by all the other models
they were so experienced and look so
amazing
but there is also a dark side to the
modeling world
most of us models are very insecure
because every day
we're judged solely on our looks and if
we don't look perfect
we don't find jobs that's why i wear
more makeup now than i did when i was a
goth
without it i feel insecure and ugly
however
the worst thing about modeling is that i
don't make as much money as i thought i
would
sure i get to work all over the world
but even though i'm reasonably
successful i
always worry about whether i'm going to
book another job
it's stressful and unless you become a
real supermodel
you won't make that much money because
you have to spend so much on your
appearance
and then once you hit your late 20s your
career is probably over
anyway i'm not saying that modeling is a
terrible job
just that for most girls it's not the
dream job they think it is
it's a ruthless industry and people will
try to take advantage of you
all the time if i could go back in time
i'd do something else like
teaching or becoming a lawyer because
i'd love to help other people and do
something that has an impact
but hey i guess it's never too late to
go back to college
thanks for listening and please
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