放眼全院只有哥有资格 I'm the only doctor in this hospital
做这种手术 that's qualifiedto do this procedure,
而如今 天妒淫才啊 And today, that puts me at a real disadvantage.
哥治好了癌症 2B I cured cancer, you dick!
神马 Huh?
老母 我做到了 Mom, I did it.
我治好了癌症 I cured cancer.
很好 Great.
或许这样你才能有时间来看我 Now maybe you can visit me sometime.
我不是就在你面前吗 Mom, I'm right here.
给你点儿小忠告 Just a little friendly reminder,
Richie医生 别再试图治好癌症了 Dr. Richie... Stop trying to cure cancer.
神啊 真希望你能跟你哥一样成为一个医生 Oh, God, I just wish you'd become a doctor like your brother.
我不是医生是神马 I am a doctor.
我们有着各种工作 We all have a job to do.
有打洞者 有老湿 Some people dig holes, some people teach,
还有一些人奔月去了 而重点是 Some even go to the moon, and none are more
众生平等 医生至上 important than the other, except for doctors.
你马上就会了解到 这帮小子对付各种情况 You'll notice that most young patients respond to
都只有两种反应 Almost any situation with one of two phrases...
"大热狗啊"或"猫了个咪啊" "Hot dog" Or "Mama mia."
看好咯 Watch this.
喂 跟你说个事儿 Hey, I got news for you.
你明天就能回家了 You're going home tomorrow.
大热狗啊 Hot dog!
因为我们查不出你有嘛毛病 Because we don't know what's wrong with you
所以你就快归西了 and you're gonna die.
猫了个咪的 Mama mia.
来了个10岁的病人 I got a 10-year-old down!
神马情况 What do we got?
这丫放学后在一个制刀厂打工 This kid works at a knife factory after school.
老板的三八红旗手 Boss says he's all thumbs.
Owen 好像Blake神马的 Hey, Owen, it turns out that
没上过医校啊 Blake here never went to medical school.
所以从今往后他被打回实习队伍 We're just gonna add him to your interns today and call it even.
啊哦 欢迎入队 Fine. Welcome to the team.
血压 50/80 Blood pressure... 50 over 80.
白细胞指数增加 低烧中 White-blood-cell count elevated, slight fever.
-这是神马病来着 -暂且无法确定 - What's the call? - Too soon to tell.
你好专业喂 God, you are good.
无意打扰你们 深知你们很优秀 Look, I don't want to interrupt here, and you're one of our best,
但这丫不明摆着是刀伤吗 but isn't this clearly a knife wound?
你丫懂个胯子 Hey, suit, you stay out of my way!
刀伤神马的都是浮云 The knife is just a small piece of the puzzle.
我们得找出病根 病根侬晓得伐 We got to figure out what's really wrong with this kid.
Nidhi 这次拼错你名字了木有 Nidhi, am I pronouncing that correctly?
-再次拼错 -关我鸟事 - It's Nidhi. - I do not care.
去查查过去40天内 I need you to interview everyone
跟他有过私人接触的淫们 he's come in contact with in the last 40 days.
去学校看看 Go to his school.
所以你是说 刀伤神马的 So what you're telling me is that outside of being
比起其他症状 再正常不过了 punctured by a large knife, Noah's had no unusual symptoms.
去制刀场看看 Go to the knife factory.
所以你是说 他就那样健健康康 So what you're telling me is that he walked out of here
大摇大摆的走出去了 with no sign of anything wrong at all?
不 我是说他胸口插着把刀大摇大摆的走出去了 No, I'm telling you he had a knife in his stomach.
去他老母的发廊看看 Go to his mother's hair stylist.
所以你是说 做个挑染 So what you're telling me is it'll cost more to get
居然比染整个头发还要贵 highlights than it will to dye all my hair?
Blake 命你去图书馆 Blake, I want you to get down to the library.
上个网 Get on the Internet,
尽你所能查出有关年轻男孩的那些事 find out everything you can about young boys.
正中我下怀 I know just where to go.
噢 Oh.
Park 这总没拼错吧 Park, am I pronouncing that correctly?
恩 Yes.
我要你昼夜不分地守护着他 I want you with this kid night and day.
我估计他活不过三天了 I think he's only got three days to live tops.
所以我要陪护丫四天 I'm gonna need four.
我懂的 坏淫 You got it, mister.
Chet 养兵千日 用兵一时 Chet, this is your big moment, buddy.
我懂的 I'm on it!
等会 Excuse me.
难道我们就不能把刀拔了再说 Aren't we just gonna take the knife out?
喂 Hey!
你又木有上过医校 You did not go to medical school,
所以你莫要乱激动 and until you do, you will take a chill pill.
所有人 任务的 明白否 过来下 Now, everybody know your assignments. Get it in here.
数到三就喊"圈叉医院" "Childrens Hospital" On 3.
-1 2 3 -圈叉医院 - 1, 2, 3... - Childrens Hospital!
员工注意 Attention, staff.
火热的奇多 膨化食品都是劣质而致命的 Cheetos flamin' hot crunchy snacks are dangerously cheesy.
这里的每个人 都是勤劳的小蜜蜂 We're all like worker bees here,
寻寻觅觅 采采蜜蜜 Each of us running around,
四处采花 Bringing honey from one place to another,
从不深究 Never really knowing what the others
其他人在YY啥子 Are thinking or feeling or dreaming.
医院就像个大蜂巢 A hospital really is like a beehive.
明明是像监狱 I've say a hospital was more than like prison.
蜂巢多诗意啊 Beehive is more poetic.
帅哥啊 Mmm, he's cute.
我了个去 丑霸一个 No way. He's gross.
你是一定得反对我的每个... Do you have to disagree with everything I...
神马 你该不是能读脑电波吧 Wait, can you hear my thoughts?
-恩 -牛大了 - Yeah. - Wow.
多牛的天赋啊 What an amazing gift.
其实蛮不爽 It's awful, actually.
我老是读到别人在YY我 各种YY I can hear all the horrible things people think of me.
神啊 祥林嫂在世 Geez, what a whiner.
啊哦 Oops.
*I heard you speak*
*but I couldn't believe*
*Now it's gone .We've fallen apart .It feels wrong.*
*I wanna go back to the start*
*The problem with romance is there are no second chances...*
等会 Wait a second.
你一直在这待着吗 Have you been here this whole time?
表示我待这的时候你还在穿开裆裤呢 I've been spending many hours in this hospital, Dr. Richie.
你咋知道我名字的 How do you know my name?
我懂各种状况 I know a great many things.
比如你能治好某种 For example, I understand that you've discovered a cure
之前治不好的疾病 我懂的 For a certain... Heretofore uncurable disease.
是不治之症 Incurable.
没啥病治不好的 No such word as uncurable.
您哪位 Who are you, anyway?
我代表一个有着特殊请求的神秘组织 I represent an organization that has a special request.
命令你丫 给老子放弃癌症研究神马的 Drop the cancer cure... Or else.
等会 抱歉 Wait. I'm sorry.
刚打野去了 你说毛 I wasn't listening. What?
神马东西 This information is no good.
别逼我让那丫归西咯 Don't make me let this kid die.
喂 Hey!
我赌50刀 我能说出你们多重 I bet you guys 50 bucks I can guess your weight.
50刀 你说不出 I bet you 50 bucks you can't.
恩 猜我多重来着 Valerie Yeah. What's up with that, Valerie?
170斤 170.
完全正确 She got that right on the nose.
这位叫Haley的 她能读脑电波 Haley here can read minds, everybody.
那我们现在在想神马 So what are we all thinking right now?
香肠 兄弟视频 死亡 Frankfurters... The Allman brothers... death...
还有香肠 Also frankfurters.
我了个去 Fascinating.
你天赋异禀啊 小萝莉 You have got a gift, young lady.
给杯好咖啡喝会死人吗 Would it kill you to make a decent cup of coffee?
祥林嫂在世啊你 What a whiner.
-可不是嘛 -等会 - I know, right? - Wait.
好吧 All right.
你得见见我的一个病人 Listen, I've got a patient I need you to meet.
跟我来 Come on.
我的意思貌似还表达得不够明显啊 I get the sense that I'm not quite getting through to you,
Richie 医生 Dr. Richie.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
我知道你说神马禁止继续研究 I heard you say something about stopping my research.
各种禁止 Or else.
对 你说"各种禁止" Right. And then you said "Or else."
对 但我貌似跟你不是一个语气神马的 Yeah, but I didn't say it like that... "Or else."
我是威胁语气 I said it menacingly.
原来如此啊 Wow.
老实说 哥还真没听出任何威胁语气 I mean, if I'm being honest, it didn't sound very menacing.
那是因为你老打野 That's because you weren't paying attention.
你说毛 没注意听 What did you say? I'm so sorry.
我说你老打野 不认真听我说 I said you weren't paying attention to me.
我没有 I wasn't.
好吧 我错了 错了 大人 I'm guilty. Guilty, your honor.
你觉得 你能读一个 Now, do you think you can read the mind
昏迷了有40年的人的脑电波吗 Of someone who's been in a coma for about 40 years?
真无聊 我试试吧 I'll give it a try, but it sounds boring.
好的 听着 All right, now, listen.
只有你能从他口中套到信息 Only you can get the information from him,
IP IQ IC 卡 让丫统统告诉你密码 and only he can fill in the blanks.
搞定丫 小萝莉 Go get him, killer!
多希望我能醒来 这里都有味儿了 I wish I could wake up, but I think it smells in here...
或者是我的鼻子有味儿了 Or is that just the inside of my nose?
我得去尿尿 I have to pee-pee.
何时我才能找出射杀 J.R. 的凶手啊 When am I gonna find out who shot J.R.?
怀念走路的感觉 I miss walking.
我还饿着呢 I'm still hungry.
他们总不喂饱我 They didn't feed me enough.
我希望有本书能看 I wish I had a book.
哦 Oh.
听着 这可能有点难以理解 Hey, this might be a little confusing for you,
你昏迷了大概有40年吧 But you've been in a coma for 40 years.
这不是真的我 I'm not really here.
我是在用脑电波跟你交流 I'm communicating with you via mental telepathy.
挖日 Wow.
如此之多的问题 So many questions.
喂 纽约的世贸中心 Hey, did they ever finish building
现在完工了木有 that world trade center in New York?
额 完工了 Well, yes.
大热狗啊 Hot dog!
-但是... -你觉得神马情况 - But... - How do you think it's going in there?
猫了个咪啊 Mama mia!
就是各种刺痛 还有个事 Those pricks. One more random thing.
挑战者号怎么样了 How did that challenger flight go?
-母鸡啦 他们让我问你些事 - Yeah...So they want me to ask you some questions.
好吧 All right.
你买的基本保险是安泰保险吗 Is Aetna your primary carrier
还是你又买了其他险种 or are you being covered by another plan?
额滴个神啊 我真不知道 Gee whiz, I really don't know.
保险上还有神马其他我们不知道的条款 Do you have any other conditions we didn't know about?
我还是正太的时候就昏迷了 I went into the coma when I was like 2 or 3 years old,
或许你们可以去问问我老母 so you probably have to ask my mom.
好吧 但是这有点重要 Okay, but still, this is kind of important.
说白了 Let me get this straight.
你是让哥忘掉哥能治好癌症 You're trying to convince me to forget that I cured cancer
不去拯救芸芸众生吗 And allow countless people to die as a result?
-对滴 -哦 - Yes. - Oh.
这样的话 哥不答应 In that case, no, thank you.
哥还是要拯救苍生 I'd, uh, rather just cure it.
Richie医生 你有侄女吗 Do you have a niece, Dr. Richie?
你才没有侄女呢 Who doesn't?
她是不是住在北卡罗来纳州夏洛特市的狐狸巷 Does she live in Charlotte, North Carolina, on Foxgrove Court?
对 2134号 右手边第一张床 Yeah, 2134 Foxgrove Court, first bedroom on the right.
她的门上可没有锁哦 She doesn't even have a lock on the door.
如果丫有个神马三长两短 And what if something happened to her?
-不是说会把丫怎么样 但... -太好了 - I'm not saying it's going to, but... - Oh, good.
耳根清净了 One less thing for me to worry about.
大恩不言谢 Thank you.
你的银行账户是不是89598292 And is your bank account 89598292?
恩 这有啥 Yeah, but that's nothing.
你该听听我的密码是多少 You should hear my pin number...
-是2115... -如果你账户里的所有钱 - 2115... - what would happen if all the money
都凭空消失了咋整呢 In your account just simply disappeared?
你老像我前妻了 You are like my ex-wife,
总是杞人忧天 Always worrying about something that might happen.
"天要塌了 "This might happen.
2012了 咋整啊" That might happen. Aah!"
3天了 毫无进展 Three days, you guys got nothing.
这么闪亮的挑染不是进展么 Uh, I wouldn't call these highlights nothing.
Noah 养了神马宠物 Noah, do you have any pets?
一只鱼 I have a fish.
你知道它来自世界哪一部分吗 Do you know what part of the world your fish is from?
放吧 Can you just tell me the answer?
它有着来自亚马逊流域的厄瓜多尔印花扇状尾 He's an Ecuadorian calico fantail from the Amazon river basin,
一种叫钩端螺旋体的寄生虫就在那里繁衍 A breeding ground for a parasite called leptospira.
是 Alex Alex.
把它带到实验室 Take this to the lab.
切掉丫的腿儿 解剖它 Cut his legs off, dissect him.
估摸这它就是携带者 I'm willing to wager that it's a carrier.
而春哥保佑了你 钩端螺旋体不会致命 Fortunately for you, young sportsman, leptospira isn't fatal.
睡个几天 你就又会神气活现的了 Couple of days' bed rest, you'll be up and around in no time.
你们看见木有 See that, everybody?
撇开第一反应 其实Noah的问题 Despite initial impressions, Noah's medical problems
根本就不在这把刀上 Had nothing to do with this.
袄 Oh!
蓝色警报 他昏迷了 Code blue! He's going into a coma!
是吗 Oh. Is he?
人有失手马有失蹄嘛 I could be wrong about all that other stuff.
你究竟要带我去哪 Hey, where are you taking me, anyway?
给你点颜色瞧瞧 I'll give you a hint.
那是你世上最重要的东西 It's the most important thing in the world to you.
你把我的狗Sadie带走了吗 Are you taking me to my dog, Sadie?
好吧 你世上第二重要的东西是神马 Okay, what's the second-most important thing in the world to you?
额 我和上帝的绯闻吧 Well, my personal relationship with g-o-d.
- 第三呢 - 我的玻璃动物收藏 - Third? - My glass menagerie?
- 第四呢 - 香蕉面包 - Fourth? - Banana bread?
- 第五呢 - Billy Barty的指纹 - Fifth? - Billy Barty's fingertips?
第六呢 Sixth?
-思考中 -得了吧 过来 - Uh... - Oh, that's it. Come on.
香蕉面包 Banana bread?
我了个去 Oh, my God.
他们终于修剪树丛了 They finally trimmed the bushes!
没让你看树丛 个SB 看车 Not the bushes, you idiot, the car!
你的车没了 看见没 Your car... it's gone. See?
对哦 Oh, right!
奇了个怪哈 Weird. Huh.
你知道不 Well, you know what?
反正下周就到租期了 没神马不了的 My lease is up next week anyway, so no biggie.
没神马...等会 No big... wait a minute.
我可能理解错了 Hey, I could be totally reading into this wrong,
不过这好像是你为了让哥妥协而偷了哥的车 but I feel like you stole my car to get me to cooperate with you.
我们组织靠的 My organization has a very large stake
就是癌症疗程赚钱 in the revenues from cancer treatment.
最不愿看到的就是患者康复 A cure is not in our best interests.
别TM断我们财路 Don't mess with us.
等会 Wait a minute.
神马组织来着 Who do you work for?
我怎么联系你呢 How can I get in touch with you?
Richie医生 我们自会与你联系 We'll get in touch with you, Dr. Richie.
你没必要知道我们是什么人 You don't need to know who we are.
国家健康分局
等会 我的车没了 Wait. My car's gone.
后面还有哦
Maestro 医生把刀拔出来的时候 You went into a coma
你就昏迷了 when Dr.Maestro pulled the knife out of you.
随便问下 你一10岁小娃儿怎么会去制刀场工作的 By the way, how does a 10-year-old get a job at a knife factory?
母鸡啦 I don't know.
完全讲不通嘛 That definitely does not make sense.
注意 Attention.
朋友和没人说话的区别是神马 What is the difference between a friend and having nobody to talk to?