Yeah, D.B? Cleaning out deadwood.
Okay.
Mr. Connell I can't afford to be without work right now.
Not even for a day.
I've got a mother and two kid sisters.
More 'good luck' telegrams.
You know how it is.
I've got to keep on working, see?
Sorry, sister. I was sent down here to clean house.
I told you I can't use your column anymore.
It's lavender and old lace.
Send those other people in.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I get 30 dollars a week. I'll take 25, 20 if necessary.
-I'll do anything you say. -It isn't the money.
We're after circulation, fireworks. People that hit with sledgehammers,
start arguments.
I can do that. I know this town inside out.
-Give me a chance, please. -Alright, come in.
Cashier's got your check.
Who are these people?
Gibbs, Crawley, Cunningham, Giles.
Hey you, sister!
Don't forget your last column before you pick up your check.
You're a couple of sticks shy on your column, ma'am.
Big rich slob like D.B. Norton buys a paper and chops 40 heads off.
-Did you get it too? -You too?
Joe, I'm sorry darling.
Let's we tear the building down.
Before you do, you better finish this column.
Lavender and old lace.
Wait, Joe. Wait.
Wants fireworks, huh?
Okay.
Here.
''Below is a letter which reached my desk this morning.
It's a commentary on what we laughingly call a 'civilized world'.
Dear Miss Mitchell, 4 years ago I was fired out of my job.
Since then I haven't had another.
At first I was sore at the State Administration because
it's on account of slimy politics we have all this unemployment.
But in looking around, it seems the whole world's going to pot.
In protest, I'm committing suicide by jumping of the City Hall roof.
Signed, a disgusted American citizen: John Doe.''
Editor's note: ''If you ask this column,
the wrong people are jumping of the roofs.''
Ann, this is the old fake-a-roo, isn't it?
Never mind that, go ahead.
''...because of slimy politics
that we have all this unemployment.''
There it is. D.B Norton's opening attack on the Governor.
Why Jim, it's just a letter sent into a column.
No, I can smell it. That's Norton.
Good morning, gentleman. You're here rather early.
Governor, did you happen to see the new Bulletin?
Yes, I had it served with breakfast.
-Jim thinks it's D.B. Norton. -Of course it is.
Come, Jim. That little item?
D.B. Norton does things in a much bigger way.
It's his opening attack on you, Governor. Take my word for it.
What did he buy a paper for?
Why did he engage a high pressure editor like Connell?
He's in the oil business. Governor, he's after your scalp.
Alright, Jim. Don't burst a blood vessel.
-I'll look into it. -Yes, sir?
Get me Spencer of the Daily Chronicle, please.
Yes, I saw it, Governor. If you ask me, it's a phony letter.
That gag's got whiskers on it.
I'll get the Mayor and Chamber of Commerce to go after them.
Get Mayor Lovett on the phone.
Sorry, the Mayor's busy on the other phone.
Yes, I know, Mrs. Brewster, it's a terrible reflection on our city.
-I've had a dozen calls already. -Spencer at the Chronicle.
Just a minute.
Yes, Mrs. Brewster, I'm listening.
I insist that this John Doe be found a job at once.
If something isn't done, I'll call out the whole Auxiliary.
And the Junior Auxiliary. We'll hold a meeting
and see that it is...
Yes, Spency? Who?
The Governor?
It's my building he jumping off! And I'm up for re-election.
What? Get Connell at the Bulletin.
Why, he's liable to go right past my win...
-What was that? -What?
-The window. Something flew by. -I didn't see anything.
Don't stand there, you idiot. Go and look. Open the window.
Why did he have to pick my building?
Is there a crowd in the street? Maybe he's caught on a ledge.
-It must have been a seagull. -A seagull?
What's a seagull doing around the City Hall?
-That's a bad omen, isn't it? -No, the seagull's a lovely bird.
It's alright, Mrs. Brewster. It's just a seagull.
Nothing's happened yet. I'm watching.
Don't worry. Leave it all to me.
Spencer, I'll call you back.
Hello, Connell?
This is... What are you doing? This is the Mayor.
Yes, Mayor Lovett. How many times you gonna call me?
I've got everybody and his brother and sister looking for him.
See the box I'm running?
''An appeal to John Doe. Think it over, John.
Life can be beautiful, says Mayor.
If you need a job, apply to the editor and so forth...''
Okay, Mayor, I'll let you know as soon as I have something.
What?
Well, pull down the blinds.
Went up to Miss Mitchell's house. Boy, she's in a bad way.
-Where is she? -Supports her mother and two kids.
-Did you find her? -No. Her mother's worried.
She said she was going on a roaring drunk, the girl I mean.
Go out and find her.
The biggest thing I didn't tell ya. Her old man's Doc Mitchell.
He saved my mother's life and wouldn't take money for it.
Okay, Boss. I'll look for her.
Holy smokes, Commissioner. You've had 24 hours.
Okay, Hawkshaw, grab a pencil. Here it is again.
About 5 foot five, brown eyes,
chestnut hair...
and as fine a pair of legs as...
ever walked into this office.
-Do you want to see me? -No.
I've had the whole Army and Navy searching for you
because it's a game we play.
I remember distinctly being fired.
That's right, but you have property that belongs to this newspaper.
-What's that? -The letter.
-What letter? -The letter from John Doe.
The town's in an uproar, we got to find it. It's the only clue.
-There is no letter. -We'll get a handwriting expert to...
-What? -There is no letter.
-Say that again. -I made it up.
You made it up.
You said you wanted fireworks.
Don't you know there are 9 jobs waiting for this guy,
22 families want to board him free,
5 women want to marry him and the Mayor's ready to adopt him?
-Just called the morgue. A girl... -Shut up!
Ann! Why didn't you...?
Only one thing to do, Hank. Drop the whole business quickly.
Run a story. Say John Doe was in here,
and is sorry he wrote the letter...
Sure. He came in here and I made him change his mind.
''Bulletin Editor saves John Doe's life.'' It's perfect.
I'll have Ned write it up.
-Ned, I got a story... -Wait a minute.
Listen, you great big genius of a newspaperman.
You came to shoot some life into this dying newspaper.
Well, the whole town's curious about John Doe and boom!
You're going to bury him.
There's enough circulation in that man to start an ink shortage.
-In what man? -John Doe.
-What John Doe? -Ours. The one I made up.
Look genius. Now, look.
Suppose a John Doe walked into this office? What would you do?
Find him a job and forget the whole business, huh?
Not me. I'd make a deal with him.
A deal?
You don't drop a stunt to sell papers like a hot potato.
This is good for a couple of months. Know what I'd do?
Between now and Christmas, when he jumps, I'd run a daily yawn.
Starting with his boyhood, his schooling, his first job.
A wide-eyed youngster facing a chaotic world.
The problem of the average man, all the John Does.
Then comes the drama. He meets discouragement.
He finds the world has feet of clay, his ideals crumble.
What does he do? He decides to
commit suicide in protest against the state of civilization.
He thinks of the river, but no. He has a better idea:
The City Hall. Why? He wants to attract attention.
He want to get things off his chest and it's the only way to be heard.
-So? -So?
So he writes me a letter and I dig him up.
He pours out his soul to me. From now on we quote:
''I Protest,'' by John Doe.
He protests against all the evils in the world.
The greed, lust, hate, fear. All of man's inhumanity to man.
Arguments will start. Should he commit suicide or not?
People will write in, pleading with him. But no, sir!
John Doe will remain adamant.
On Christmas Eve, hot or cold, he goes, see?
Very pretty, very pretty indeed, Miss Mitchell.
But would you mind telling me who goes on Christmas Eve?
-John Doe -What John Doe?
The one we hire for the job, you lunkhead.
Wait a minute. Let me get this through this lame brain of mine.
We hire someone who says they'll commit suicide on Christmas Eve?
Now you're catching on.
-Who for instance? -Anybody. Beany'll do.
Why sure. Who me? Jump off a...
Anytime but Christmas. I'm superstitious.
Do me a favor. Go on out and get married, have babies but...
stay out of the newspaper business.
Better get that story in hand. It's getting late.
You're supposed to be a smart guy. If it was raining 1 00 dollar bills,
you'd be looking for a dime you lost someplace.
Holy smokes. Wasting my time listening to this mad woman.
Look what the Chronicle's running on John Doe. They say it's a fake.
Why the no-good...
''John Doe story, amateur journalism.
This is so phony, it's a wonder anyone's taking it seriously.''
-What do you think of those guys? -That's fine. That's fine.
Now fall into their laps. Go ahead.
Say John Doe walked in and called the whole thing off.
You know what that'll sound like.
-That's all, Ned. Thank you. -All right.
Amateur journalism, huh?
That bunch of sophomores.
-I could teach them more... -Boss! Get a load of this.
-What? -Look.
What do they want?
-They say they wrote the letter. -Yeah, I wrote it, Boss.
They all wrote the letter.
Tell them all to wait. One is your John Doe.
They're desperate and will do anything for a cup of coffee.
Pick one and you can make the Chronicle eat their words.
I'm beginning to like this.
If you ask me, Hank, you're playing with dynamite.
No, the girl's right.
We can't let the Chronicle get the laugh on us.
We've got to produce a John Doe now.
Amateur journalism, huh? I'll show those guys.
Sure and there's no reason for them to find out the truth
because naturally I won't say anything.
-Okay, you get your job back. -Plus a bonus.
-What bonus? -The bonus of 1 ,000 dollars...
the Chronicle was going to pay me for this little document.
''I, Ann Mitchell, certify that the John Doe letter was created by me...''
-I can read. I can read. -Sorry.
You think this is worth 1 ,000 dollars, do ya?
The Chronicle would consider it dirt cheap.
Packs everything including a gun.
Okay, sister, you got a deal. Let's look at the candidates.
The one we pick has got to be the typical, average man.
Typical American that can keep his mouth shut.
Show me an American who can keep his mouth shut and I'll eat him.
Beany, bring 'em in one at a time.
Did you write that letter?
-No, I didn't. -What are you doing here then?
Paper says there were jobs. Might be one left over.
Had any schooling?
Yeah. A little.
What do you do when you work?
-I used to pitch. -Baseball?
Yeah, till my wing went bad.
Where did you play?
Bush leagues, mostly.
-Family? Got any family? -No.
-Just traveling through? -Yeah.
Me and a friend of mine. He's outside.
-Looks alright. -He's perfect. A baseball player.
What could be more American?
-Wish he had a family. -Be less complicated without.
Look at that face. It's wonderful.
They'll believe him. Come on.
-What's your name. -John Willoughby.
Long John Willoughby they called me in baseball.
Would you like to make some money?
Yeah...maybe.
Would you be willing to say you wrote that letter and stick by it?
I get the idea.
Yeah. Maybe.
That's our man. He's made to order.
He don't seem like the guy that'd fall in line.
When you're desperate for money, you do a lot of things.
He's our man I tell you. He's fainted.
Get some water, quickly!
Hurry up, Hop.
Right here, sit down.
-You alright? -Yeah, I'm alright.
How many is that, six?
Pretty hungry, weren't you?
All this John Doe business is batty, if you ask me.
Well nobody asked you.
Trying to improve the world by jumping off buildings.
You couldn't improve the world if the buildings jumped on you.
Don't mind the Colonel. He hates people.
Likes you enough to stick around.
'Cause we both play doohickeys.
I met him in a boxcar a couple of years ago.
I was fooling around with my harmonica and he joins in.
Haven't shaken him since.
-Alright boys, here he is. -No, you can't take photos of him
eating a sandwich and with a beard.
-He's going to jump off a building. -Not because he's out of a job.
That's not news. He's jumping out of principle.
Maybe you're right.
We clean him up, put him in a hotel under bodyguard. Make a mystery.
-Did you speak to Mr. Norton? -Thinks it's terrific.
Wants us to build a bonfire under every big shot in the state.
-Swell. Is that the contract? -Yeah.
-What's he doing here? -Friend of his. They play duets.
Duets? Can we trust him?
I trust him.
You trust him, eh? I'm suppose he trusts you too.
Stop worrying. He's all right.
Okay, but we don't want more than a hundred people in on this.
First, I want an exact copy of the John Doe letter
in your own handwriting.
I got it already. Here.
That's fine.
Now sign this agreement.
It gives us an exclusive story under your name, day by day
from now until Christmas.
On December 26th, you get one railroad ticket
out of town.
The Bulletin pays to have your arm fixed. It's what you want?
Yeah, but it's got to be by Bone-setter Brown.
Okay, Bone-setter Brown goes. Here, sign it.
Meanwhile, here's 50 dollars spending money.
That's fine. Beany?
Take charge of him. A suite at the Imperial and bodyguards.
And some new clothes.
-Think we better have him deloused? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Both of them? -Yes, but don't lose them.
-Beany, gray suit, huh? -Yeah.
Okay, fellas.
Take it easy, John Doe.
And you start pounding that typewriter.
This is terrific. No responsibilities on our part,
just statements from John Doe and we can blast our heads off.
Before you pop your buttons, don't forget that check for 1 ,000.
Yeah.
Okay, fellas, you sit outside and nobody comes in.
You two fellas sit in here.
Pretty nifty, huh?
-You won't get me to stay here. -Sure you are.
No. Under the bridge, where we slept last night is good enough for me.
-What do I do with this baggage? -Stick it in the bedroom.
Give me mine. I ain't staying.
We were headed for the Columbia River country
before this John Doe business came up. You remember don't ya?
Sure, I remember.
Did your ears pop coming up in the elevator? Mine did.
Long John, I tell ya. It's no good.
You'll get used to a lot of stuff that's gonna wreck you.
That 50 bucks in your pocket is beginning to show up on you.
Don't pull that on me neither.
Stop worrying. I'll get my arm fixed out of this.
Here's some cigars the boss sent us. Have one.
-Colonel? -No.
I bet even the major leaguers don't rate an outfit like this.
Make yourself comfortable. Paper?
I don't read no papers and I don't listen to radios neither.
World's been shaved by a drunken barber. Don't have to read.
I've seen guys like you go under.
Guys that never had a worry, got some money and went goofy.
First thing that happens to a guy...
-Get a load of the bedroom. -No.
First thing that happens is he starts wanting to go to restaurants
and eat salad and cupcakes and tea.
What that kind of food does to your system.
Next, the dope wants a room.
A room with steam heat,
and curtains and rugs.
He softens up till he can't sleep unless he has a bed.
Stop worrying, Colonel. 50 bucks ain't gonna ruin me.
I've seen plenty of fellas start out with 50 bucks
and wind up with a bank account.
What's the matter with a bank account, anyway?
Let me tell you, Long John, when you got a bank account,
they got ya! Yes sir, the got ya.
-Who's got him? -The Heelots.
Who?
There's the City Hall tower I'm supposed to jump off of.
It's even higher than this.
-Who's got him? -The Heelots.
Wait a minute.
That's not till Christmas Eve.
Want to get me in a jam?
If it gets you in a jam, I'll do you a favor. I won't jump.
When they got ya, you got no more chance than a road rabbit.
Who was going to get him?
Is this one of those places where you ring if you want something?
-Yeah, just use the phone. -I always wanted to do that.
Hey, Doc, look.
Give me that again, will ya? Who's gonna get him?
The Heelots.
Who are they?
-Listen, you ever been broke? -Mostly often.
All right.
You're walking along, not a nickel, free as the wind, nobody bothers you.
Hundreds pass you by in every line of business:
shoes, hats, automobiles, radios, furniture, everything.
They're all nice, loveable people and they let you alone.
Now, is that right?
Then you get hold of some dough, and what happens?
All those nice, sweet, loveable people
become Heelots. A lot of heels!
The begin creepin' up on you. Trying to sell you stuff.
They get long claws and they get a stranglehold on you.
You squirm and you duck
and you holler, but you haven't got a chance.
They got ya.
First thing you know, you own things. A car, for instance.
Now your whole life is messed up with more stuff:
You got license fees and number plates,
gas and oil, taxes and insurance,
and identification cards and letters
and bills and flat tires and dents
and traffic tickets and motorcycle cops
and courtrooms, lawyers, fines and a million other things.
And what happens?
You're not the free and happy guy you used to be.
You got to have money to pay for all those things.
So you go after what the other fella's got.
And there you are. You're a Heelot yourself.
You win, Colonel. Take the fifty.
-Go out and get rid of it. -You bet. Fast as I can.
I'll get can goods, a fishing rod, the rest I'll give away.
Give away?
Get me a pitcher's glove. I got to get some practice.
Say, he's giving it away, I'm gonna get me some.
Come back here, you Heelot.
Send up 5 hamburgers with all the trimmings,
5 ice cream sodas
and 5 pieces of apple pie.
No, apple. With cheese.
Yeah, thanks.
Hello there.
Well, well.
If it isn't the man about town.
All set, Miss Ann.
Oh, yes. Let's go.
Let's see. We want some action in these pictures.
Action?
Action!
No, no. This man's going to jump off a roof.
Wait a minute. Let me comb your hair.
There, that's better.
He's got a nice face, hasn't he?
Yeah, he's pretty.
Here, sit down. Quiet, egghead.
Now a serious expression.
-I can't. I'm feeling too good. -Come on, this is serious.
You're a man disgusted with all of civilization.
-With all of it? -Yes, you're sore at the world.
-Crabby guy, huh? -Yeah.
No, no!
No.
Look...
you don't have to smell the world.
-With those guys in the bleachers. -Never mind those guys.
Stand up.
See what you look like protesting.
-Against what? -Against anything, just protest.
You got me.
Look, I'm the umpire.
You cut the plate with a fast one and I call it a ball.
-Now what would you do? -You did, huh?
Why can't you call it right? You bone-headed, big-eared...
Grab it, Eddy. Grab it.
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it! Extra!
I don't care who's picture they're publishing,
I still say this John Doe person is a myth.
You can quote me on that.
I'm going to insist on his being produced for questioning.
You know as well as I do that this whole thing
is being engineered by a vicious man
with a vicious purpose.
Mr. D.B. Norton.
Mr. Connell and Miss Mitchell are at the house, sir.
Oh, they are? Come on.
Personally, I think it's stupidity to drop it now.
His fan mail is in the thousands. It's going like a house afire.
What are you afraid of, Connell? It's doubled our circulation.
But it's got everybody sore.
Ads are being pulled. Governor's starting a libel suit.
They all know he's a phony and insist on seeing him.
Let them see him? We'll let them hear him.
You own a radio station. Why not put him on the air?
Watch out for this dame, D.B., she'll drive you batty.
We can't let them start pumping this bush league pitcher.
No telling what that screwball might do.
I walk in yesterday, he's on a table with a fishing pole,
fly-casting.
Get him out of town before this thing explodes in our faces.
You do and you're as much of a dumb cluck as he is. Excuse me.
-You got yourself a meal ticket. -Sure it is, I admit,...
but it's also a windfall for Mr. Norton who wants into politics.
That's why you bought the paper, to reach a lot of people?
Put John Doe on the air and you'll reach 1 30 million.
He can say anything he wants.
Forget the Governor and the Mayor and all the small fry.
This can arouse national interest.
If he made a hit here, he can do it around the country.
And you'll be pulling the strings, Mr. Norton.
Arrange for some radio time.
-D.B.... -As soon as possible.
Okay. I just came in to get warm myself.
Come on, let's go.
Don't you go. I want to talk to you.
Sit down.
This John Doe idea was yours, wasn't it?
Yes, sir.
-How much money do you get? -30 dollars.
30 dollars.
Well, what are you after? I mean...
-You want a journalistic career? -Money.
Money. Well, I'm glad to hear somebody admit it.
Could you write a radio speech to put that fellow over?
-I'm sure I can. -Do and I'll give you 1 00 a week.
-1 00 dollars. -That's only the beginning.
Play your cards right and you'll never worry about money again.
I knew it.
Whenever there's a pretty woman around...
This is my nephew, Ted Sheldon. Miss Mitchell.
-How do you do? -How do you do?
I'll give you a break, Casanova. See Miss Mitchell gets a car home.
Always reading my mind.
Thank you for everything.
And Miss Mitchell,
from now on, you better work directly from me.
Yes, sir.
-I thought you were asleep. -We want to say goodnight.
You little brats, you're just stalling.
Come, children. It's past your bedtime.
Oh, all right.
Come on, come on.
If Scootch will stay for me, I'm done.
I'll never get this speech right.
Yes you will, Ann dear. You're very clever.
Yeah, I know. What are you looking for?
Your purse. I need ten dollars.
What for? I gave you fifty the other day.
I know, but Mrs. Burke had her baby yesterday. Nine pounds.
There wasn't a thing in the house.
Then, the Community Chest lady came.
And the 50 dollars is gone. Who's the 1 0 for?
-The Websters. -The Websters.
You remember those lovely people your father used to take care of?
I thought I'd buy them groceries.
Ann, it's a shame those poor...
You're marvelous, just like father used to be.
You realize a couple of weeks ago we didn't have enough to eat?
But these people are in such need and we have plenty now.
If you mean the 1 ,000 dollars, forget it. It's practically gone.
We owed everybody in town.
You got to stop giving all your money away.
Oh, Ann dear.
I'm sorry, Ma. Don't pay any attention to me.
I guess I'm just all upset about all this.
Here I am with a great opportunity to get somewhere,
to give you security for once, and I'm stuck.
If I could put this over, Mrs. Burke can have six babies.
-The speech you're writing? -Yeah. I can't get it to gel.
I created somebody who's giving up his life for a principle.
Thousands of people are going to listen to him over the radio,
and unless he says something sensational,
it's just no good.
I don't know what kind of speech you're going to write,
but from the samples I've read, I don't think anybody will listen.
What?
There are so many complaining, political speeches.
People are tired of hearing doom and despair on the radio.
If you're going to have him say anything,
why not something simple and real, with hope in it?
Your father were alive, he'd know.
Yeah.
Father certainly would.
Wait a minute.
That's your father's diary, Ann.
Father's...? I never knew he had a diary.
Enough for 1 00 speeches.
Things people ought to hear now.
Be careful of it, won't you.
It's always helped to keep your father alive for me.
You bet I will, Ma.
We wanna see him!
Wait a minute, John Doe don't want to sign autographs.
-Well, what does he do all day? -What does he do all day?
-He's writing out his memories. -Please!
Sorry, lady. You can't see Mr. Doe. He wants to be alone.
No, he sits around all day and commutes with himself.
Ball!
I don't know how you'll stand it here till after Christmas.
You ain't heard a train whistle in two weeks.
Strike!
I know why you're hanging around.
You're stuck on the girl.
All I guy needs is to get hooked up with a woman.
Was that a single?
First baseman dropped the ball.
Butterfingers!
Tough luck, pal.
Guy has a woman on his hands,
first thing he knows his life is balled up with more things.
Furniture.
Did you get him?
You're out!
-This the end of the 8th? -The 9th.
Beany, a couple of mugs from the Chronicle are snooping around.
Come on, Angel Face.
-What's the score, Angel Face? -3 to 2, our favor.
Gee, that's great!
You got swell form. Must have been a good pitcher.
Pretty good? I was about ready for the majors when I chipped
a bone in my elbow. Got it pitching a 1 9 inning game.
-1 9? -Yeah.
A major league scout was watching.
He came down after with a contract.
You know what? I couldn't lift my arm to sign it.
-I'll be okay when I'm fixed up. -Yeah, it's too bad.
What do you mean 'too bad'?
That you'll never play again.
What are you talking about? I just told you...
You know how they are in baseball if a guy's mixed up in a racket.
Racket? What do you mean?
I was thinking about this John Doe business.
As soon as it comes out it's all a fake,
you'll be washed up in baseball, won't you?
Yeah.
Doggone. I never thought about that.
-Gosh! -And what about the kids?
The kids that idolize ball players?
What will they think about ya?
Yeah.
Hey, Colonel.
Did you hear that?
I got to figure some way out of this thing.
Elevators are still running.
-I know one way you can do it. -How?
When you get on the radio,
all you have to do is say the whole thing's a frame-up
Make you a hero, sure as you're born.
Yeah, but how am I going to get my arm fixed?
That's a cinch.
I know somebody who'll give you 5,000 dollars
-to tell the truth on the radio. -5,000 dollars.
Yeah, 5,000 dollars and he gets it right away.
Don't have to wait till Christmas.
Look out, Long John, they're closing in on you.
Say, who's putting up this dough?
Fella runs the Chronicle.
Here's the speech you make all written for you.
5,000 dollars.
Holy mackerel! I can see the Heelots coming.
The whole army of them.
It's on the level.
No, I'm sorry, tickets for the broadcast are all gone.
Phone the Bulletin.
Sorry, no more tickets left.
All set for the big night? Swell!
-Turn around. Now stand still. -Hold it, Mr. Doe.
Big smile, Mr. Doe.
-Okay, Beany, that's enough. -Alright, scram now.
John, here's the speech. It's in caps and double spaced.
You'll have no trouble reading it.
Not nervous, are you? Of course not, he wouldn't be.
-Who? -John Doe. The one in there.
Don't let your knees rattle. It picks up on the mike.
You needn't be nervous. Remember to be sincere.
-It's for you, Miss Mitchell. -Okay.
Hello? Yes, mother. Thank you, darling.
There he is, the poor dear man.
Good luck to you, Mr. Doe. We are all for you.
The girls all decided
that you're not to jump off any roof at all.
-Got the speech I gave ya? -Yeah.
I'll give the money to the Colonel
as soon as you get started.
We'll have a car waiting at the side entrance for you.
How'd you get in here?
-Just came to wish him luck. -Come on, out! Out!
Mother says 'good luck', too.
John, when you read the speech, please believe every word.
He turned out to be wonderful.
-Who? -John Doe, the one in the speech.
Know something? I've actually fallen in love with him.
All right, there he is, sister. Plenty of bulk.
-What's the idea? -No, that's too much.
No, not so much. Now come on.
This is no time for cheap publicity, Mr. Connell.
If that guy lays an egg, I want something out of it.
I'm getting a Jane Doe ready.
Come on, will you fellas? Give me a chance.
Just one more, please?
Fine honey, you go ahead.
How you doing?
Alright Beany, bring them in.
Holy smoke! Half a Heelot.
There you are, boss. Symbols of little people.
-Okay, get 'em up. -Alright little fella.
This is ridiculous, Mr. Connell. He's on the air in a few minutes.
You'll get all your pictures after.
Come on, Ed.
Come on. That's right.
-Pictures afterwards. -Thank you very much.
Come on, Snooks. You better bail out.
Goodbye, Mr. Doe.
-Beany! -Alright, alright.
Get ready. One minute to go.
And the score's nothing to nothing.
Now please, John. You won't let me down, will ya?
Will ya?
Of course you won't.
If you just think of yourself as the real John Doe...
Everything in that speech are things a man believed in.
It was my father, John.
And when he talked, people listened.
And they'll listen to you, too.
Funny...
you know what my mother said?
She said to look into your eyes, that I'd see my father there.
-What do you say? -Okay, we're coming.
Listen, John. You're a pitcher. Get in there and pitch.
Good luck.
Let him through.
Let's get out of here. The door's right there.
-What are you doing here? -That's what I'd like to know.
-Come on, out! -He's a friend of mine.
Never mind. Let him alone.
I'll be over there pulling for you.
No, John, over here.
Stand by.
Phone the Chronicle. Tell 'em to get the Extras out.
Good evening, Kenneth Fry speaking for the New Bulletin.
Tonight we give you something entirely new and different.
Beside me is the young man who has declared publicly that
on Christmas Eve he will suicide,
giving as his reason, quote:
''I protest against the state of civilization.''
End quote.
Ladies and gentlemen, the New Bulletin presents
the man who is fast becoming the most talked about person
in the country, John Doe.
Ladies and gentlemen...
I am the man you all know as John Doe.
I took that name because it seems to describe...
because it seems to describe
the average man, and that's me.
And that's me.
Well, it was me before I said I was going to jump off
the City Hall roof on Christmas Eve.
I guess I'm not average anymore.
Now I'm getting all sorts of attention, from big shots too.
We've been double crossed.
The Mayor and Governor, for instance, they don't like
-...those articles I wrote. -You're an impostor, young fella!
It's a pack of lies you're telling!
Who wrote that speech for you?
Beany, get that guy!
...publicity stunt for the Bulletin.
Spencer.
Ladies and gentlemen, the disturbance you just heard
was caused by someone in the audience heckling Mr. Doe.
The speech will continue.
Well, people like the Governor...
people like the Governor and that fella can stop worrying.
I'm not gonna talk about them. I'm gonna talk about us,
the average man, the John Does.
If anybody ever asked you what the average John Doe is like,
you couldn't tell him because he's a million and one things.
He's Mr. Big and Mr. Small.
He's simple and he's wise. He's inherently honest,
but he's got a streak of larceny in his heart.
He seldom walks up to a public telephone without shoving
his finger in the slot to see if somebody left a nickel.
He's the man the ads are written for,
the fella everybody sells things to.
He's Joe Dokes, the world's greatest stooge,
and the world's greatest strength.
Yes, sir...
Yes, sir, we're a great family, the John Does.
We're the meek who are... supposed to inherit the earth.
You'll find us everywhere. We raise the crops, dig the mines,
work the factories, keep the books, fly the planes,
and drive the buses. When a cop yells ''Stand back, you'',
he means us, the John Does.
What kind of a speech is that? Didn't you read it?
We've existed since time began. We built the Pyramids,
we saw Christ crucified,
pulled the oars for Roman emperors,
sailed the boats for Columbus,
retreated from Moscow with Napoleon,
and froze with Washington at Valley Forge.
Yes, sir,
we've been in there dodging left hooks
since before History began to walk.
In our struggle for freedom we've hit the canvas many a time,
but we always bounce back because we're the people and we're tough.
They've started a lot of talk about free people going soft,
that we can't take it. That's a lot of hooey!
Free people can beat the world at anything from war
to tiddlywinks if we all pull in the same direction.
I know a lot of you are saying: What can I do?
I'm just a little punk. I don't count.
You're dead wrong. Little punks have always counted
because in the long run the character of a country
is the sum total of the character of it's little punks.
But we've all got to get in there and pitch.
We can't win the old ball game unless we have team work,
and that's where every John Doe comes in.
It's up to him to get together with his team mate,
and your team mate, my friends,
is the guy next door to you.
Your neighbor, he's a terribly important guy.
You and he need each other,
so call him up. If he's sick, call on him.
If he's hungry, feed him.
If he's out of a job, find him one.
To most of you, your neighbor is a stranger.
A guy with a barking dog and a high fence around him.
You can't be a stranger to a guy that's on your own team.
So tear down the fence that separates you.
Tear it down and you'll tear down a lot of hates and prejudices.
Tear down all the fences
and you'll really have teamwork.
I know a lot of you are saying to yourselves:
''He's asking for a miracle.
He's expecting people to change all of a sudden.''
Well, you're wrong.
It's no miracle. It's no miracle...
because I see it happen once a year and so do you,
at Christmas time.
There's something swell about the spirit of Christmas.
To see what it does to people, all kinds of people.
Now why can't that spirit,
that same warm Christmas spirit, last the whole year round?
Gosh!
If it ever did, if each and every John Doe
made that spirit last 365 days,
we'd develop such a strength,
we'd create such a tidal wave of goodwill that no human force
could stand against it.
Yes sir, my friends,
the meek can only inherit the earth
when the John Does start loving their neighbors.
You better start right now.
Don't wait till the game is called on account of darkness.
Wake up, John Doe, you're the hope of the world.
John, you were wonderful.
Bravo! Bravo!
-Let's get out of here. -Now you're talking.
Gangway, you Heelots!
I knew you'd wake up sooner or later.
Boy, am I glad we got out of that mess.
I had the 5,000 all sewed up. Could've gone to Doc Brown.
''You're a pitcher.'', she says. ''Go in and pitch.''
What a sucker!
She's a Heelot just like the rest. Lucky you got away from her.
What was I doing making a speech, anyway? Me?
-The more I think about it... ! -Tear town all the fences.
If you tore one picket off your neighbor's fence, he'd sue you.
5,000 bucks, had it right in my hand.
What do you mean ''he ran away''?
Find him. That man is terrific.
Columbia River, here we come!