直到今天...
When I was a kid, 小时候
I used to think that pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. 我总以为 空手道和猪排是同一种东西 (发音相似)
I thought they were both pork chops. 我以为它们都是猪排
And because my grandmother thought it was cute 因为祖母觉得我这样叫很好玩
and because they were my favourite 又因为我喜欢猪排
she let me keep doing it. 她每次都让我错着叫
Not really a big deal. 这本来没什么
One day, before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees 有一天 因为我没意识到胖孩子不适合爬树
I fell out of a tree 于是我从树上跌了下来
and bruised the right side of my body 擦伤了右半边身体
I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it 我不敢把这件事告诉祖母
because I was scared I'd get in trouble 因为我害怕
for playing somewhere that I shouldn't have been. 自己会因为爬树挨批评
A few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise 几天以后 体育老师发现了我的擦伤
and I got sent to the principal's office. 于是我被送到校长办公室
From there I was sent to another small room 之后 我又被送到另一件小房间
with a really nice lady 里面一位很好的阿姨
who asked me all kinds of questions about my life at home. 问了我各种关于家庭情况的问题
I saw no reason to lie. 我没有说谎
As far as I was concerned life was pretty good 对我来说我的家非常好
I told her, "Whenever I'm sad 我告诉她 "每当我伤心的时候
my grandmother gives me karate chops." 祖母都给我来空手道"
This led to a full scale investigation 我的回答导致了一次彻底的调查
and I was removed from my house for three days... 我和家人被分开询问了三天
until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises. 最后他们终于问我是怎么擦伤的
News of this silly little story quickly spread through the school 这件糗事迅速传遍了学校
and I earned my first nickname: 于是我得到了人生中第一个外号
Pork Chop. 猪排
To this day... 直到现在
I hate pork chops. 我仍恨这个外号
I'm not the only kid who grew up this way. 我不是唯一有这种经历的孩子
Surrounded by people who used to say 身边的人们常说
that rhyme... about sticks and stones 人不应被讥讽嘲笑所伤
As if broken bones 好像被起外号
hurt more than the names we got called, 不会像撕心裂肺那样痛
and we got called them all. 于是我们就都被起了外号
So we grew up believing no one 于是我们自卑地长大
would ever fall in love with us. 觉得没有人会爱我们
That we'd be lonely forever. 觉得我们永远孤独
That we'd never meet someone 觉得我们永远不会
to make us feel like the sun 遇到温暖我们的人
was something they built for us in their tool shed. 这都是他们给我们制造的枷锁
So broken heart strings bled the blues 残破的心弦渗出悲伤地音乐时
as we tried to empty ourselves 我们开始麻木自己
so we would feel nothing. 来减轻痛苦
Don't tell me that hurts less than a broken bone. 别告诉我这没有撕心裂肺那样痛
That an ingrown life 别告诉我自闭的生活
is something surgeons can cut away 可以被医生治愈
That there's no way for it to metastasize 别告诉我自卑不会像癌症一样蔓延全身
It does. 其实真的会
She was eight years old... 那年她八岁
Our first day of grade three 三年级开学第一天
when she got called "ugly." 她就被人叫了"丑女"
We both got moved to the back of the class 我们一起挪到教室的最后一排
so we would stop getting bombarded by spit balls 才躲开了他们投过来的废纸团
But the school halls were a battleground 学校的走廊就是战场
where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day. 每天我们都被攻击和唾弃
We used to stay inside for recess 我们曾封闭自己
because outside was worse. 因为外面的世界太令人厌烦
Outside we'd have to rehearse running away 在外面 我们必须随时准备逃离
or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there. 或是一声不吭地隐藏自己
In grade five they taped a sign to her desk 五年级时 她的桌子被人贴了纸条
that read "Beware of Dog." 纸条写着 "小心这只狗"
To this day, 直到今天
despite a loving husband, 虽然有着深爱的丈夫
She doesn't think she's beautiful 她仍不觉得自己美丽
because of a birthmark 因为明显的胎记
that takes up a little less than half of her face. 占据了她的半边脸
Kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer 她曾被讥笑像考卷上的错答案
that someone tried to erase 被人试图擦去
but couldn't quite get the job done. 却成了满脸花
And they'll never understand 这些人永远不会明白
that she's raising two kids 她抚养着两个孩子
whose definition of beauty 而孩子们心中美丽的定义
begins with the word "Mom." 即是"母亲"
Because they see her heart 因为孩子们先看到母亲的心灵
before they see her skin. 才看到外貌
That she's only ever always been amazing. 她只是总让人惊讶罢
He was a broken branch grafted onto a different family tree. 他是嫁接到另一棵树上的残枝败叶
Adopted 被领养的孤儿
but not because his parents opted for a different destiny. 并不是因为父母的抛弃
He was three when he became a mixed drink 三岁时遭遇不幸
of one part left alone 一人生还
and two parts tragedy. 两人死亡
Started therapy in 8th grade. 八年级时患病
Had a personality made up of tests and pills. 被化验和药品充斥
Lived like the uphills were mountains 生活如上临峭壁
and the downhills were cliffs. 下临悬崖
Four fifths suicidal, 尝试自杀
a tidal wave of anti-depressants, 又淹没于抗抑郁药的浪潮中
and an adolescence of being called "Popper." 度过被称作"药物成瘾"的青春
One part because of the pills 百分之一因为药物作用
and ninety nine parts because of the cruelty. 百分之九十九因为现实的残酷
He tried to kill himself in grade ten 十年级时他尝试自杀
when a kid who could still go home to mom and dad 而回到家后父母仍旧
had the audacity to tell him "get over it." 鲁莽回答他 "想办法克服过去"
As if depression is something that can be remedied 好像抑郁可以被药物医治
by any of the contents found in a first aid kit. 急救箱里的物品可以治好悲痛
To this day, 直到今天
he is a stick of TNT lit from both ends, 他如两端被同时点燃的炸药
could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends 向你展示在天空扭曲
in the moments before it's about to fall 即将塌陷时的景象
and despite an army of friends 军队的朋友
who all call him an inspiration, 称他为一种激励
he remains a conversation piece between people 他只留给人们无尽的争论
who can't understand 而人们无法明白
sometimes becoming drug free 有时候控制毒品
has less to do with addiction 不在于防止他们上瘾
and more to do with sanity. 而在与人们的心智健康
We weren't the only kids who grew up this way. 我们不是唯一有这样经历的孩子
To this day 直到今天
kids are still being called names. 仍有孩子被取各种外号
The classics were 经典的有
"Hey stupid" "嗨 傻逼"
"Hey spaz" "嘿 弱智"
Seems like each school has an arsenal of names getting updated every year 每一所学校里 每年都会流行新的叫法
and if a kid breaks in a school 即使有孩子在沉默中爆发
and no one around chooses to hear 也不会有人会在意
do they make a sound? 有人为他们站起来过吗?
Are they just the background noise 他们的呼喊
of a soundtrack stuck on repeat 也只像音轨卡住时的背景噪音吧?
when people say things like 人们会说
"kids can be cruel"? 孩子互相叫着玩也要当真?
Every school was a big top circus tent 每所学校都像马戏团
and the pecking order went 社会等级依次排开
from acrobats to lion tamers, 从杂技演员到驯兽师
from clowns to carnies. 从小丑到演员
All of these were miles ahead of who we were. 而这一切都远比我们高尚得多
We were freaks. 我们是怪人
Lobster claw boys and bearded ladies 我们是残疾的男孩和长胡子的女孩
Oddities 我们是怪物
Juggling depression and loneliness, playing Solitaire, spin the bottle, 我们蔑视抑郁和孤独 喝酒耍牌
Trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves 试图拥抱受伤的自己
and heal. 试图自愈
But at night, 而深夜
while the others slept 当其他人入睡的时候
We kept walking the tightrope. 我们仍旧走在钢丝上
It was practice 习以为常
and yeah, some of us fell. 哦 没错 有些人会跌落
But I want to tell them 但我想告诉他们
that all of this 这一切
is just debris, 不过都是碎片
leftover when we finally decide to smash 当我们决定打破曾经的阴影时
all the things we thought we used to be. 它们不过是些碎片
And if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself, 如果你看不到自己美丽的一面
get a better mirror. 换一面镜子
Look a little closer. 靠近一点
Stare a little longer. 看得再仔细些
Because there's something inside you 因为你内心深处有一些东西
that made you keep trying 在让你尽力尝试
despite everyone who told you to quit. 不管别人怎让叫你放弃
You built a cast around your broken heart 你为自己破碎的心打上石膏
and signed it yourself. 并在上面写下
You signed it, "they were wrong." 你写下 "他们都错了"
Because maybe you didn't belong to a group or clique. 因为你从未被众人所接受
Maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything. 因为所有人都躲开 不带你玩
Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth 因为即使你为了证明自己而努力拼得鼻青脸肿
to show and tell but never told 也从未被认可
because how can you hold your ground 因为如果所有人都排挤你
if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it 你就无法相信自己
You have to believe that they were wrong 因此你必须坚信他们都错了
They have to be wrong. Why else would we still be here? 他们一定都错了 不然为什么我们还能站在这里?
We grew up learning to cheer on the underdog 在成长中我们学会了安慰失败的人
because we see ourselves in them. 因为从他们身上 我们看到自己的影子
We stem from a root planted in the belief 我们在坚信中扎根而长
That we are not what we were called 我们坚信 我们不是他们所叫的那样
We are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting empty on a highway. 我们不是高速公路上耗尽汽油后被遗弃的车辆
And if in some way we are, 即使从某个角度讲我们是这样
don't worry. 不要害怕
We only got out to walk and get gas. 我们只需要走两步 拿来汽油给自己加满
We are graduating members from the class 最终我们从学校毕业了
"we made it." "我们做到了"
Not the faded echoes of voices crying out 我们不是逐渐褪去的回音自己安慰着
"names will never hurt me." "人不应被讥讽嘲笑所伤"
Of course, 当然
they did. 讥笑当然会伤人
But our lives will only ever always continue to be a balancing act 可我们会用生命不断追寻
that has less to do with pain... 战胜困苦
and more to do with beauty. 看到更多美好