LONDON
Man, 1.80 tall, brown jacket. Dressed in a horse.
Dressed in horse...
Flower in the ear.
You don't want me. It's impossible!
This isn't the first time I've heard this.
- Trust me, it's a mistake. - No way, little horse.
- Horse? I'm a donkey! - I don't think so.
I'm Freddy Darby's wife's cousin.
Sure. Everyone is related to Darby.
Shit! Damn it!
- Don't move for a second! - I'm not moving!
He really is a donkey.
Comfortable!
This is Freddy Darby's wife's cousin.
For-ar!
ESCAPE FROM LONDON
I was wrong.
Thank you.
How much time do I have?
The family is already talking, it is believed that he was a petty assassin.
But it's only a matter of time before Darby puts it all together.
How the hell did this happen, Tommy?
I don't know. It was dark in the alley. I didn't...
- Wait! You didn't go, did you? - Where should I go?
How many times have I told you to go to the eye doctor?
- I don't need glasses! - Obviously you do!
It's about a horse and a donkey!
Who can tell the difference between a horse and a donkey?
Anyone! We have Attenborough for that!
Tommy, no one can forget the good things you did.
Since you first came here, ask anyone...
Who was the best? They'll tell you Tommy Ward.
That means something. But time catches up with you.
The legs slow down, the hands start to tremble,
you have pain for no reason.
It's a new era.
You have to know when to give up.
- Shit! - Yeah. You better leave tonight.
- Can you buy me some time? - No! You can't do that!
- It's the first place they'll look for you. - Not if I get there first.
- What the hell, Tom! - I need to see him.
You lost your privileges.
Don't tell me you've lost your mind too.
Come on, two minutes. That's all I'm asking. I might not come back.
Please, Jodi.
- Are you drunk? - No.
- High? - Not now.
- Hi, Tom! - Hi, Ricky!
- What is it? - I was talking to my ex-wife.
- Okay. Do you want to come in? - No!
- Okay. - Wait here.
- So... How's work going? - Good.
- How are you doing, Ricky? - Good.
- How are the students? - They're making a fuss. I love them!
- It's an all-boys school, right? - Yes.
- That's it. - Ricky!
Honey, your father is leaving and wants to say goodbye.
But you said he lost his privileges.
Yes, that's what I said,
But I'm doing him one last favor, because I feel sorry for him.
- Because he's a loser? - Exactly. He's a loser.
Two minutes.
- How are you, friend? - I think I'm fine.
Look... I did something stupid and I have to go away for a while.
Mom said you're just doing stupid things.
Well, not everything. I did one thing right.
I love you very much.
And one day I'll come back and we'll have a normal relationship.
But until then I want you to be the man of the house,
I want you to take care of your mother, even though she's pathetic.
I want you to respect her and always listen to her, okay?
- And Ricky? - Ricky's an idiot, don't listen to him.
But mom said he's a better man than you.
Then you have to be better than both of us. Okay?
- Time's up, Tom. - Come here...
- I love you, friend. - Bye!
I'll be back...
And.
Everything is arranged. You have your ticket.
The flight leaves Heathrow in two hours, but...
- But what? - You won't like it.
LOS ANGELES
ONE YEAR LATER
Go to hell, Harry!
You idiot! Learn to drive!
Hello, Benson! Benson, can you hear me?
Where the hell are you? He called, you're an hour late.
I'm on the road, stuck in traffic.
In traffic? It's LA, you idiot! It's always busy!
- Why didn't you leave earlier? - I left.
- No. You're lying. - No. You have no way of knowing.
Go to hell, I know for sure!
Listen, this guy thinks he's doing this to you.
Don't complicate things, kill him quickly.
Harry vouched for you, that's why you're still working with me.
If I were you, I would hurry!
Move and act like a pro!
I am a professional...
Darya! Darya, because of you, she 's no longer on TV!
No more mixer!
What's going on with the cable box?
- Nothing. - Nothing?
What's going on?
- Where are you going? - Homework.
- This is not a place. - In the park, to do my homework.
Let me see.
Are you still making me read this crap?
It didn't help me at all. It produced a generation of fearful little boys.
They should take you all and take you to that island.
May it strengthen you.
You know that fat guy here, Piggy? Don't be like him.
And don't take 4 anymore.
If I have to talk to the teacher again,
I'll talk to you again, do you understand?
Go away! Julian...
If I find out that you and your nerdy friends
keep playing those RPG games,
I'll grab whatever I can find and beat you to death.
I want you to work hard and make me proud.
If you do these things,
One day something special will happen to you.
- Who loves you? - Me.
Me too.
Finally!
Benson said...
- Shit! - What is it?
Tommy Ward! What the hell are you doing in LA?
I heard you killed Freddy Darby's son.
Yes? Did you hear that?
- He was his wife's cousin. - Family is family to Darby.
- Sorry! - No, it's okay.
- Julian! - Hi, Erika!
- What are you doing? - I'm taking my pants off in the park.
Thank you.
- Is it a new suit? - Yes, my dad found my paladin.
Then he set it on fire in the yard, after running it over with his car...
- And what are you now? - A level 3 druid.
But I've turned into a bear and I don't have time to change back.
for tomorrow's tournament, so I stayed like that.
- Do you need this tree? - So I can take my pants off?
- No. That... - I'll find another place, don't worry.
Bye! What an idiot...
What have you been up to? How long has it been? Six or seven years?
They could have given you a better car.
I knew Benson was a tightwad, but this is embarrassing.
- This is my car. - Are you driving it on purpose?
- It's classic. - Okay.
Who is the target?
A rich guy in a shitty neighborhood.
- This neighborhood of Rahat? - Malibu.
- Malibu? It's gorgeous! - I can't stand this place.
- I want to go back to London. - Watch out for the tree!
- Didn't you see him? - Do you think I need glasses?
- I don't need glasses! - Yeah, okay...
Although I would disagree. That was the way out.
Are you kidding?
Damn it!
Hamish!
I'm sorry.
Let's come to an agreement.
No, I'm a professional.
- But we're friends, right? - No!
- Okay. Acquaintances. - We had a pregnancy together!
That bastard Benson... I knew I couldn't trust him.
- How much does he pay you? - Not enough.
- That's good, I can give you more. - Mouth! Are you ready?
- Of course I'm not ready! - Come back!
Wait! Let me call my son. Please!
- No. - He's nine years old.
You have a son in London too. Please.
Okay. 30 seconds. Quick, come on!
30 seconds.
Son... My son!
I wanted to tell you that we won't be seeing each other again.
And that I forgive you for being a faggot!
Ward is in LA.
THE OLD MAN
- Ward's in Los Angeles. - Oh my God! Don't think about it, Freddy.
I can't, honey. He killed one of my own.
- You didn't even know him! - Family is family!
What if my father were in my place?
They would have buried Ward in a week.
It's been a year. How do you think I feel?
- Where are you going? - I'll be back soon.
Maybe I'll be able to sleep too after I avenge poor Arnold.
His name was Robert! And he was my cousin!
Where are we going, boss?
In the City of Angels, boys.
- Very nice. It's authentic. - Thank you.
Are you ready for the big day?
What does it matter? We'll take it back.
Don't say that, we have a chance. We always have a chance.
Besides, what do they have that we don't?
Look at him! How cool is he!
Seriously?
She speaks with a fake British accent and has black nail polish on her nails.
I think we can beat him.
Tristan Trollslayer. You looked like a paladin.
I am now a druid. Level 3.
Seriously? Level 3?
Only I can raise your level. You know that.
Come on, Robbie, seriously?
Barnabus! And I'm taking you down to level 1!
What a load of crap!
Did you question my decision?
Give me the collar.
- I'm not doing this, Bobby. - Down, boy! Down!
- Bobby, what are you doing? - Go to your seat, woman!
Seriously? I'm calling my dad.
Ba nu!
Comfortable!
- Tell me you did it. - I did it.
Okay. Come get your money before I change my mind.
I'll be there in an hour.
I... What the hell is this?
A bully beat me up and stole my pants, so...
And what do you want me to do? Give him a beating?
If you want...
Honey, just like my father taught me
and I try to teach you countless times,
A man solves his own problems.
I've been wandering through that damn desert for hundreds of years.
40 years.
Why do you think the Egyptians chose us?
Because we are tough, because we resist.
If you can't deal with idiots as a teenager,
How are you going to deal with the big guys when you take over the business?
I'll probably avoid them.
No! You grab your sausage and eggs...
Be a man and change,
Otherwise, everything I built for this family dies with me!
Go to your room!
All right.
You send the rest to London, as before.
Yes, maybe...
Maybe now is the ideal time to tell you.
Use this money to buy a new car.
Here you go?
What the hell is this?
"I'm marrying Ricky!"
"Stop sending us letters and your dirty money."
Damn it! She's marrying Ricky!
- What's the problem with Ricky? - He's a gym teacher.
The sports teachers are nice to the children.
Sports teachers aren't teachers, they're perverts with whistles.
I have to go back to London.
- Go! - I can't.
Why? What the hell is this?
- Kale. - Excuse me.
Have I ever given you the impression that I look like a guy who drinks kale?
And.
- That was delicious, thank you. - Okay.
I met her in a Russian brothel, if you can believe it.
- I wouldn't have guessed. - It ruins everything.
The oven, the toaster, the toilet. Now, cable TV.
Call someone to fix it.
The man solves his own problems.
I'm not going to call someone to fix such a simple device.
What were you saying?
I can't go back to London,
I killed Freddy Darby's wife's cousin.
- Who the hell is Freddy Darby? - He's my former boss in London.
He has a strange obsession with family.
I had to leave and I can't come back,
because they're going to kill me as soon as I get off the plane.
- And what do you want me to do? - Don't you have connections there?
Gather some guys, protect me somehow...
I'll be honest with you, Tom. I don't have that kind of influence anymore.
I should give money,
I should appeal to those who owe me.
Even so, I don't do this for my employees.
Ben, Ben... I haven't seen my son in a year.
His mother won't send him here to see me.
Even for two days. Please.
I need to see my boy.
You know what? If you help me,
I'll see if I can get you protection in London.
Yeah, whatever you want, just tell me.
Knock-knock! Please don't get up.
Tommy, this is my son, Julian.
He's like "Rain Man", but he doesn't know anything about math.
Julien, this is Tommy. Tommy kills people for me.
Hello!
What was that?
There's a clip on YouTube. A compilation of cats.
See? "Meow, meow."
Louder, Dad!
Come on, little bear!
- Is that what you do all day? - No, I play Warcraft.
I don't care!
It's over. It's over with me.
Everything this family built is gone.
- Wait, you just don't want to... - Here you go?
- I don't kill children. - Are you crazy?
No, Tom, please, have a seat. Sit down.
It's about inheritance. What do you think will happen?
When will Professor Fasolică take over the family?
It needs to change quickly, Tommy.
He needs to become a man. And a man needs work.
Yes. Hard work puts young people on the right path.
That's why he'll come with you on your next mission.
Wait a minute!
Attention! This is the task.
Target: Alistair McCray.
For years it was a ghost. Some thought it was a legend.
Like that story you tell in the sauna to scare off the competition.
Wait, this has to be a mistake. I know this guy.
He's one of the best assassins in all of Europe.
It was. It seems Alistair had a crisis of conscience.
He discovered Jesus.
I would like to increase the dose.
God told me to stop taking the treatment.
I wouldn't recommend this.
He decided to confess all his sins to the police,
including some assassinations carried out for my associates.
- Question. - Your penis. Please cover it.
The police didn't believe him.
If Alistair enters an interrogation room
without showing his scrotum, there could be problems.
Ben, I couldn't kill him myself,
let alone this pie with me, no offense.
I'm not saying I disagree with you, Tom.
But the situation has changed. Come on, it's an easy task.
- Has he gone completely crazy? - It seems so.
- Do you have any idea where he is? - His brother, Seamus.
He picked up Alistair from the station yesterday.
I want him dead too, so there's no problem.
- I didn't know he had a brother. - He's in the drug business.
It's always moving.
It's hard to locate, but I know one of his suppliers.
His name is Woodley, he stays at a Best Western in Simi Valley.
Room 126. Convince him to give you Seamus' location.
Then I want him dead too. Do you understand?
Are you writing down the names of the people we're going to kill?
Not.
Can I talk to you for a second?
- I'm going to die because of him. - I didn't ask for your opinion.
Give him a few more years. How old is he? 13-14 years old?
- 18. - Jesus! It's worse than I thought.
When you're done, call me to confirm. And I need to see pictures.
- Can we talk about this? - Do you want my help?
Do you want to be protected in London? If you don't, go to hell!
You'll be proud of yourself, Dad.
You have no perspective. It's like that game of yours.
Everyone except you thinks it's embarrassing.
This is your last chance to change and become a man.
Don't disappoint me, darling! I love you.
Tom! When the time comes,
Make sure my boy pulls the trigger, you understand?
And.
Bye, Dad!
Father...
No, that fits in the trunk.
Slow!
- Julian! - Hi, Erika!
Sorry for the early. Bobby can be insensitive.
It's nothing.
- Where are you going? - To become a man.
You're not going to miss tomorrow, are you?
What the hell is he doing?
We need you.
Come on!
I don't think I can come anymore.
I can talk to my brother if you want.
Come on!
- I have to go. - Yeah. Great!
See you later.
Oh my God! Hurry up, please!
- Is she your girlfriend? - No. She's an elf mage.
It's... Leave it.
Don't touch that again!
Why did you leave England?
I killed some people.
- And why did you come back here? - I killed other people.
Before this, did you have a real job?
- This is a real job. - Sorry.
Do you have a favorite mission?
Have you ever been involved in violence in real life?
And.
- Yes? - Yes. Yes, I've been beaten. Sometimes.
Golani, foreigners...
- There's a problem with the chair. - That's how it should be. It's classic.
To avoid dying, you'd better learn to use something like that.
Two hands on the gun,
your finger on the trigger until you're ready to squeeze it.
- Of course. - Questions?
- Do you like the Beatles? - Here you go?
- You seem to be a Beatles fan. - Everyone likes the Beatles.
Which is your favorite?
- Ringo. - You're just saying that to be different.
Are you missing on purpose? Is this a test to see if I'm paying attention?
The sun is getting in my eyes.
I have some sunglasses in the car.
No, okay, it's your turn.
The search doesn't work, but you catch yourself.
With two hands.
Here you go?
With two hands on the gun. You're not a gangster!
You're right, it's much better.
Are you kidding me? You've done this before, right?
- No. I play a lot of Fortnite. - We're leaving.
Wait for me!
Sorry about earlier.
- That's not... - Don't say another word.
Take this.
Be careful.
When we go in there, you keep your mouth shut and pay attention to me, you understand?
- You do what I do. - I do what you do.
Congratulations, room 126! ​​You've won our daily raffle.
Put it under the door.
It's one of those huge checks. You just have to sign it.
Show me the money!
- Shit! - Back!
- Calm down!
Sit down!
I knew it was too good to be true!
Nobody gives you money for nothing these days.
- Who the hell are you? - Julian.
We're looking for Seamus. You tell me where he is, I'll let you live.
- I don't know where it is, I swear. - Are you making me count?
They're going to make me count.
Okay, okay. 3, 2...
2 comes after 3.
Yes, I know, but I count how I want.
- It's my countdown! - Yeah, sorry.
3, 2, 1.
- What pathetic amateurs! - Sorry. It's busy.
I'm fed up! Tell me where it is.
Calm down! He's meeting with some Russian clients.
- I'll tell you when and where. - Okay.
Put it in there. Time and address.
- What the hell is this? - A phone.
Haven't you heard of the iPhone? That's ancient, it'll take me a while.
Your phone from 2002...
Okay. Give me the bag.
Okay, okay? You said you'd let me live.
- I lied. - Come on...
This is not my bag.
Where are the hammer and bone saw?
The bone saw?
That's what I tried to tell you earlier, in the car.
- This is my bag. - And where is my bag?
Do you have a bear costume? A collar?
What kind of crap is this?
- No, I'm playing LARP. - What?
LARP?
Yes, it's a role-playing game. Don't tell my father.
I'm not going to tell your father, it's too embarrassing.
Why are you doing this?
Give me that!
Serious?
Damn it!
Find the gun!
- Here? - Find the gun!
I found it!
And now what do we do?
We need to get the body out of here.
I think you're kidding.
Be careful!
Hello!
- A crazy evening. - One of those evenings...
It seems... wrong.
You can't have feelings when you do this.
One of the mistakes amateurs make
It's that they start to get emotional.
You have to think about him.
as one of hundreds of thousands of people
who die every day in the world.
No, I meant the suit. I was hoping to get it back.
Or not, I wanted to leave anyway.
Excuse me, miss, I'm looking for Benson.
Darya, how many times do I have to tell you to stop bringing dirt into the mix...
Are you Benson?
Now you let strangers into the house?
He's looking for you.
A lot of people are looking for me, I'm a gangster.
Go watch "Kardashians."
My name is Freddy Darby.
Okay, I didn't come here for you.
- I'm looking for Tommy. - Okay.
Cine e Tommy?
A 1.80 tall American with perfect bone structure.
Tommy, you know.
It looks great, but I don't know Tommy.
Tommy killed my wife's cousin,
And she's very upset, just like me.
I haven't slept well since then. I was hoping you could help me.
As my father said,
A man solves his own problems.
You know what my father used to say?
An offer rarely stands up to a threat.
My problem can become your problem, you understand?
But if you were angry, I would be angry too,
and we both know what comes next.
They say you are a key supplier.
for some gentlemen on the West Coast.
If I offered you a generous price for a shipment of weapons,
let's say it's a discount for friends and family,
with the possibility of other transactions in the future, of course...
What do you say?
With all due respect, I... Shit!
Does that mean "yes"?
You know what? Maybe I'm made to be an assassin.
No, all evidence points to the exact opposite.
I don't know, maybe it was inside me all along,
but I didn't notice, you know?
I've always been good at FPS, I've always had a high KD.
Kill rate.
I know it's dangerous, but... If you can do it too...
- Be careful! - Sorry.
How did you start?
I needed the money and I didn't mind taking out bad people.
- Were you good? - The best.
- And what happened? - You're pushing the mark, aren't you?
It became increasingly difficult.
Do you have a family?
Not.
That's why you were so good. Nobody was worried about you?
- Like me. - You have your father.
No. He's disappointed in me. I'm sure he hates me.
He always says soft names are for soft men.
I assume your mother gave you the name.
- Where is she? - She died in a car accident.
It was the first body I saw.
Yeah, I always talk about my mom, but he changes the subject.
and blames me for everything bad that happened to him.
And the girl who was at your place earlier?
Erika? What's wrong with her?
You should ask her out on the town. I think she likes you.
I doubt it. Her brother always beats me.
- Especially in front of her. - You shouldn't leave him.
- You have to defend yourself. - I don't want to do this.
- Come with me. Come on! - Where are we going?
- What do you know? - Nothing.
Nothing? Have you heard of the Wild Badger?
Not.
From the Căuş? From the Tickling like at Tottenham?
- It sounds fun, but it's not. - Okay.
We'll start with the basics.
The easiest way to win any fight,
especially when you're weak, it's like poking him in the eye.
The middle finger is the longest, but the index finger is the most solid.
Stretch them both out and push.
Push.
Great! Keep your hand behind your back, hidden, until you're ready.
There's nothing to see here...
What... Why are you picking on me?
He won't know what's in store for him. Boom!
Sometimes when you put your fingers in there, you go deeper.
Move them a little.
This is called "eye gouging."
- Okay? - I understand.
- Questions? Are you ready? - Yes.
- Okay. Attack me. - Now? Are you sure?
- Yes! - Okay.
No. Too slow. You have to be aggressive.
Come to me!
No. Come on! You have to be aggressive.
You're a murderer! Attack me, come on!
You're far from evil! Come on!
First of all, distance. You have to be close...
- Sorry! Forgive me. - Damn it!
- I shouldn't have... Are you okay? - That was excellent!
- You got me. - We should move on.
No. We're not moving forward until we master this.
We master this and then we move on.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Jesus! I meant to say that you have to be careful at a distance when...
- Jesus! - Sorry, I was wrong.
Sorry! I feel like I'm stuck. We should try something else.
No, I think it's okay for tonight.
- Let's try something else. - I'm done. You learned.
Am I driving?
What's there?
Burger wrappers, unpaid bills, messes, it doesn't matter.
It's locked up tight. Are you ready?
I think so. I need experience. I'm a level 3 assassin, max.
I need to raise my level.
Wouldn't you rather do something other than talk like a nerd?
How would that work... Larky?
- It's LARP. - Yes, as you say.
- I'm giving up anyway. - Why?
Because you want to or because your father wants to?
I don't know.
You have to understand that your father is an asshole. My father was like that too.
He ran over my bike with his car, sold my cat to a gypsy.
An asshole.
Okay, it's time. Come on!
Don't forget, we are Russians.
- Hello! - Are you Russians?
Yes. I'm Boris. He's...
Boris.
- Are you both Boris? - Yes.
I am Boris the Great, he is Boris the Retard.
- That's why it's so small. - Wait a minute.
They came.
And.
He wants to talk to you.
Hello!
- Am I talking to Boris the Retard? - No, I'm Boris the Great.
- You came early. - To make a good impression.
That's right.
No, I need to practice my English.
Okay. I spent some time in St. Petersburg.
- Yes? - Where are you from, Russia?
Your gulag.
- I spent some time in the gulag. - Yes, a long time.
Who is your favorite writer?
Tolstoy.
"Toy Story".
- Here you go? - "Toy Story". I like Woody.
I have no idea what you're saying there. Come in.
He said let's go in.
Come on!
Did you bring the money?
- I see the product first, okay? - Correct.
All right.
A sample?
Please.
And!
- I need more. - Why not?
Don't you think you're being a bit insensitive?
Why don't you give it to your friend too?
No, it's not good for his retarded brain.
Come on, come on! Try it.
Don't just leave it to them, you never know, maybe it'll do you good.
Yes, okay.
Sure.
And!
Comfortable!
Do you realize what it would be like if we cured the sucker?
Give me the money.
Hello!
Give me the code.
Tell Seamus we'll be there right away.
4.
It's a joke.
Okay, okay, okay...
- Take the drugs and leave! - I didn't come for the drugs.
I came for your brother.
- Alistair? - Yes.
- Is it personal or professional? - Professional! Very professional!
What kind of bastard sends a child to be murdered?
My father, he's the bastard.
My brother has gone crazy, he's not threatening anyone.
- Then why is he talking to the police? - Yes, why is he talking to the police?
Okay. Go drink some water. I'll take care of it.
Alistair fears he will go to hell for his crimes.
He wanted to pay. But now he's past it.
It won't happen again. And I made him take his tra...
The treatment. Jesus!
Enough with the water! Come on! I'll take this.
Do you know something? Let me convince myself
and if you tell the truth, I'll let him go.
Okay.
You are!
Fuck'!
Come on, climb up!
- What the hell was that? - I'm living my life!
Don't ever do that again!
Have you ever been to an eye doctor? I think you're nearsighted.
Here you go?
Yes. You hit the first guy in the trailer.
But when it comes to distant targets you have problems.
I think you mean hyperopia.
Hyperopia is when you can't see up close,
Myopia is when you can't see far away.
Who cares? I can see perfectly!
I think it's him. Do you see him? It's him? Yes, it's him.
- Faster! - Calm down.
He needs to take us to Alistair.
The most pathetic car chase.
- It's not a car chase. - It is.
- No! You're high! - I feel great.
Alistair, what the hell are you doing here?
I told you to wait at the casino until I finished.
I have a question for you, Seamus.
- You'd better tell the truth. - No, we don't have time.
Okay, ask the question!
Did you sleep with Billy Sullivan's goat?
No, you did this.
You did six months in prison for this.
I told mom you were in jail for robbing a bank.
But it appeared in the newspapers.
- Please, can we leave? - No, I'm returning a purchase.
- What purchase? It's a bar! - I'm not leaving until I get my money.
Alistair, bad people are looking for you.
What the hell are these for?
It's always good to be prepared, little brother.
I would like to return these, please.
Take your pills.
Only after I finish my work here.
Excuse me, what should I do with these?
You sold me the wrong box.
Alistair, please, can we go?
Listen, I don't know what you took, but...
Fuck the condoms and give the man his money!
I know you.
No words. Drive!
You idiots! Do you think he's a threat?
Be careful here!
Uncle Mickey, it tickles me. Uncle Mickey!
I want to take Alistair to the UK.
I'm ready to drop the business and disappear.
We can't do this.
We need to kill you and send pictures to Dad.
Then Alistair and I will play dead,
You take the pictures and send them to your father.
You call him, tell him everything is ready, and we disappear.
- No one has to die. - No. I'm driving!
Okay.
Seriously, Seamus? Are you going to do the grenade trick?
Are you going to blow up both us and your brother?
Better here than in the desert.
If Alistair and I are to die, we will die as we wish.
- Your weapons. - No way.
You can't...
What the hell?
We all agree with the new plan.
Does that mean "yes"?
Did you do it?
You have to press the white button.
- I think it's broken. - What do you mean?
You're filming! It's facing you!
The white button.
Take the damn picture! My neck hurts.
Should I open his mouth like a lion?
Play dead!
Okay, I did them.
Nice glasses! You know it's dark, right?
It's a recipe, dude!
- Send this one. - Wait!
How do we know you won't kill us as soon as you send the picture?
I'm not going to kill you or your friend.
Return to your father and continue the story.
I promise! Send the picture and everything will be fine.
What the hell?
- And? - That's my whole plan.
- I'll break his neck. - Wait!
Our weapons, in exchange for your brother!
And then we all leave.
I'm not saying we won't come after you, but it'll be like a reset.
Okay, you have a gun.
I give you the gun, you give me my brother.
Bring me his gun.
Slow!
Give me the gun!
- At 3. - Okay.
- 3. - 1.
- No, one... - 1, 2, 3.
1, 2, 3.
Alistair!
Damn it!
Come on!
Tommy!
What is it?
- I'm on a prescription, you idiot! - I don't know how to...
Shoot that little guy!
Do you really want to kill a child?
He tried to gouge out my eyes!
Tommy! Tommy, you have to do something.
Comfortable!
Go to hell!
Yes! I told you!
Move!
Back!
Be careful! Take this, there are six more bullets.
Cover me, I'm going to get that gun.
- Are you sure? - Yes. Cover me!
- Can you do it? - Yes.
You're doing great. Now!
Come in!
- Are you okay? - That was awesome!
It really was.
It really was...
Alistair...
Our father was a drunken bastard with a chicory cane.
Alistair was letting himself get beaten up so he wouldn't beat me up.
He was a good man and an extraordinary brother.
We don't have a priest. Would you like to say a few words?
Strawberries are not berries.
Aren't they?
No, but bananas are. Something about the seeds, it's weird.
Here you go?
I'm coming for you, Tommy Ward!
You did well, boy.
What is it?
You remind me of someone.
Stand up for a moment.
I call you Honor Assassin, level 10.
That is, if you still want to be one.
What is it?
Nothing, I don't think I've ever won anything before.
- Not in real life. - Now you win.
And I think we should tell our father about this.
Come on!
Julian, I have to tell you something.
I'm leaving.
Yes. I lied last night when you asked me if I had a family.
I met a girl a long time ago in London.
I moved there, we got married and had a son.
His name is Oliver, he's still there.
Now she wants to marry a gym teacher,
and I have to stop her from doing that.
- Why? - Because he's pathetic.
- When do you have to leave? - I think it depends on him.
There you go! Welcome back! Hi, Tom!
- Let me show you. - What is it?
I'm very proud of you, son.
- Nice. - Yeah, it was great.
I'll have a little talk with Tom, go and wait in the office.
Don't rush.
Outside!
- But... - Get out!
Don't forget to turn on the oven.
Don't forget to ride your bike to that shithole...
Of course not.
- That's... - Yes, you're going back to London.
Tonight?
And I'm giving you 40,000, because you're going to need them.
Remind me to give them to you before you leave.
Thank you. Honestly, thank you.
Please thank me when you get there.
Now I'm going to talk to my son.
Pour yourself a drink, I'll be right back.
Thousand. Me!
He's a good boy. A very good boy.
Okay.
It seems like yesterday I was telling people that you're not going to do anything in life.
"My son is no good. He's lazy!"
But all that has changed.
Something happened to you while you were gone.
You have become a man.
This gun belonged to your grandfather.
He was an extraordinary man. Just as you will become.
Welcome to the family business, son!
But you have to do one more thing for me.
I have a new business partner.
His name is Freddy Darby and he wants to meet you.
As you know, first impressions count.
- Sure, I'll try. - Excellent!
And you already have an advantage, because you're going to take Tommy.
Yes. What do you mean?
After Darby finishes with Tommy, he'll take you to the guns.
Then you'll call me.
I've already paid for the weapons, so it's imperative that...
Sorry, I don't understand.
Tommy killed a member of Tommy Darby's family.
That's how he got here. That's why he had to leave London.
It was probably his son or brother...
- That's not what matters, Julian. - Okay.
- Tommy is my friend. - Tommy is not your friend, Julian.
He just told me he can't wait to get rid of you.
He told me that he had to do all the work,
while you hid with your hand in your vagina.
Did he say that?
He tried to sell you as soon as he was alone with me.
Why would he do such a thing?
To make himself look better, to ask me for more money.
He asked me for 40,000 more than what I already gave him.
I've spent my whole life with assassins, Julian.
At best, they're just miserable.
At worst, I'm like Tommy.
Can I count on you to do what needs to be done?
Of course.
My boy!
Julian wants to help you pack your bags,
to stay with you a while longer before you leave.
Yes, okay.
- I'll bring it back tonight. - Yeah, sure.
I think we talked about money.
Yes, here's the $40,000 you asked me for.
Okay.
All right. Come on, boy!
Last day in LA
Now that I'm leaving, I hate him less.
- Are you feeling okay? - Yes, I'm fine.
Do you miss your girlfriend?
- I don't want to talk, okay? - Okay, okay.
What are we doing?
Normally, I wouldn't let anyone do this, but...
- Have you ever driven with a manual transmission? - Here you go?
Get down.
- Serious? - Yes, seriously.
That's it. Let's see.
I'll handle the shifter, you handle the clutch, on the left.
Push it. Push the clutch. We're in first gear.
Gently release the clutch and press the accelerator.
Try again.
Let go of the accelerator slowly.
Slowly. Okay. Slowly...
Put it in second gear.
The clutch. Like this.
That's it! Look!
- What do you think? - It's classic!
Why did you stop?
For-ar!
- Wait here. - Tommy!
Tommy! Good to see you, boy.
Look at you, Tommy!
Look at this place! What the hell!
I'll be lucky if I don't get hepatitis.
- Go to hell, Freddy! - You did well, boy.
It was a pleasure working with you.
You can tell your father he kept his end of the bargain.
and we'll take you to the transport after we're done here, got it?
- Yes. - Bravo! Wait in the car.
Is that a hamburger?
Look at us, Tommy.
Two old friends who met again.
That's why I didn't understand why you didn't come to me the first time.
I've come to the conclusion that you're a bastard.
If you had a trace of honor,
You would have confessed immediately that you killed my wife's nephew.
Cousin.
- Family is no joke! - And now?
- And my family? - Your family is fine.
I've been following them to see if you'll contact them.
Did you know your wife was remarrying?
Your son loves it!
I can't believe my son is being brainwashed by a gym teacher.
Come on, he's a decent man who knows his stuff about kids.
and he's a much better father than you would have been.
You could have seen this,
if you weren't a self-obsessed asshole.
And.
Did you dye your beard?
- Hello, ladies! - What the hell?
And to mine.
Damn it! He killed a member of my family.
He killed my brother. What killed you?
My wife's nephew. Or her cousin, something...
Brother is more important than cousin.
- Who says that? - Everyone!
He's right, Freddy.
Wait! When did he kill your brother?
Last night.
He killed my relative a year ago, so I have priority.
I don't want to laugh at your pain,
but if someone were to kill my wife's cousin,
I wouldn't be so angry.
I would shrug my shoulders and go about my life.
I wouldn't waste a year of my life looking for his killer.
Thank you.
Either way, none of us are going to kill the bastard.
He must commit suicide.
- Here you go? - Why commit suicide?
Because I want them to go to hell.
Suicide is the only guaranteed way.
It's crap, in my opinion.
Okay, he shoots himself first, in the chest,
then I shoot him too, just before he dies.
- This isn't suicide, is it? - I don't have a say?
Not!
Okay. I shoot him in the knee, and he shoots himself in the head.
Not on his knees, he might faint from the pain.
What about hands and feet?
Back!
Slow down, you idiots! Slow down!
- Like this... - Slow down!
And God said, "Let there be light!"
Tommy!
Hello!
- I know you. Mohammed, right? - Excuse me? No.
Comfortable!
He's going to London. I just want to know how much the transportation costs.
It's a classic car, I want to make sure you take care of it.
It's a 1969 Grand Prix.
Why is it funny?
I'll call you back.
- Alo! - Tommy...
- Alistair? - I'd like to resume the discussion.
You must die for what you did to my brother, Seamus.
I'll have to decline, I have a trap to catch.
Do as I say, or I'll kill Mohammed.
- Who? - Mohammed.
The Prophet of Islam?
No, dude, the boy with that stupid haircut.
He was there when you killed my brother.
No! Alistair, let him go, he has nothing to do with this.
Tell him that.
I'll meet you where you killed my brother. You have one hour.
Alistair... Damn it!
I know you can hear me, you bastard!
I want you to listen to me very carefully.
Alistair killed Darby and his men.
Alistair? You said he was dead, you showed me the picture.
Yes, I know. You may feel bad that I tricked you,
But now your only worry is that Alistair kidnapped your son.
Talk to him and tell him that you sent us to kill him,
maybe that's how he'll let Julian go.
- Wait a minute! Is Darby dead? - That's not the problem here!
Darby has a million dollars from me, that's the only problem.
Can't you hear me? Alistair is going to kill your son!
Julian lost a million dollars,
and I don't even have the weapons!
He should kill himself!
If you want to know, a man solves his...
Go to hell, Benny!
Hello!
Damn it!
- You're a monster. - Get the hell out of here!
Okay. Then, you cook. Solve your own problem.
Mohammed, it's been almost an hour.
I guess your friend isn't coming.
You have no way of knowing.
I assume you wanted a traditional Muslim funeral,
but I'm going to throw your body down a drain.
Come here, little piggy.
Do you feel that?
Do you feel your blood pumping, knowing that your time has come?
Count to 10 and pull the trigger.
If you want to force me to commit suicide, I don't think that's possible.
Will you do it if I don't force you? Do you want to commit suicide?
I think I'm at the stage of asking for help.
Shut your mouth, you idiot!
Stay, stay, stay!
Alistair, no!
- Go ahead! - It just got interesting.
- Julian, are you okay? - Yes, I'm fine.
Have you come to pay for what you did to my brother?
Yes. If you let the boy go.
Too good.
I assume you came with your own gun.
How do I know you'll let him go?
- I'm going to make a blood pact! - No, you don't have to do that.
Cut his ties.
This madman!
Okay, come on!
Tommy!
Get up, you bastard! I know you're wearing a vest.
For-ar!
And now, in your head, please.
Tommy, don't do it! And your son?
No, he's better off without me.
The truth is, you 're better off that way too.
I'm not an ideal parent.
I'm not even good as an assassin anymore.
Do you remember when you asked me what happened,
and did I tell you that work is getting harder?
The truth is, I'm getting old.
I thought if I lied, I'd feel better, but...
Just like the guy my ex-wife is going to marry.
Ricky's not such a bad man, he's...
He's a gym teacher. Ollie will be fine with him.
Do you want to leave the gargle cheap?
I want you to promise me something.
Don't listen to a word your father says about you.
You're a good boy, you hear? You're a good boy.
Trust your instincts and do what's best for you.
If it's causing you problems,
Tell him Uncle Tommy tells him to go to hell.
Tommy, I don't want you to die.
The point is, I can't let you die either .
That's...
Idiot!
I didn't know there were no more bullets.
- Did you bring another weapon? - No.
Me neither!
- Wait! What caliber do you have? - Nine millimeters.
Perfect.
We don't need to do this.
- Was it Tickling like at Tottenham? - Yes.
- Where did you learn that? - In the urban dictionary.
I looked. For a moment I thought you weren't going to come.
Idiots!
- Julian! - Tommy!
Stop shooting at my car!
The guy doesn't want to die!
- Are you feeling okay? - No, it hit me in the arm.
What do we do now?
Alistair!
What is it?
Tommy told me some things before he died...
About your father.
He told me what he did to you.
About the cane.
He was a damn old man. Him and Uncle Mickey.
I took that stick and stuck it down his throat.
- I gutted him. - He didn't tell me that part.
But do you know what the most important thing he said?
He said to tell his brother he'll see him soon.
Julian!
It was incredible!
Watch your arm!
- Is he dead? - I don't know.
- No. - Oh my God!
I see the light.
It's the sun, Alistair.
Oh my God, is that you?
Dad, I see...
Do you want me to ask something?
No, I think that's okay.
That's it. Finally.
I'm sorry about the car, I think I destroyed it.
No, that's okay, it was too expensive to transport anyway.
- You wanted to take her back to London? - Yes, she's a classic.
Okay. Do you think my father will be angry?
Can I ask you a favor?
Tristan Trollslayer!
Did you come to carry my chamber pot?
No, I'm here to end your reign of terror, Bobby.
Did you hear that, guys?
What spell is this?
What the hell, Julian?
It was madness, Julian!
Protect the fallen leader!
On the attack!
Retreat!
- What are you doing? - A spell.
Why the hell are you doing this?
Lightning! Lightning!
What the hell?
I'm sorry, guys.
What the hell...
Enough! We surrender!
What the hell is this? Did you think it was real?
- Never mind. Well done! - Thank you.
I won!
You-tea.
- Hello, Erika! - Hello, Julian!
- Do you want to go to the movies sometime? - Yes.
Today we will learn about self-defense.
It's a dangerous world,
and in these crazy times, we need to know how to defend ourselves.
Which one of you can tell me what this is for?
Father?
- Hello, Tom! - Bye, Ricky!
Hello, friend!
I thought you weren't coming back.
I know. But I talked to your mother and cleared up a few things.
We'll see each other more often, things will be different.
Do you agree? Bravo!
And now...
Enough with this whistle shit.
Who's heard of "eye gouging"?
Come on, baby! Where are you going, poor thing?
You are a disgusting little man.
I am authentic, I find my truth.
Okay. Then, shalom, panarama!
Damn it, Darya!
A man solves his own problems.
Come on! You want this!
Haide, fir-ar...
ENDING