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翻译：驴弟 秋秋 校对： 秋秋 羊皮橘子
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后期：目^目 总监： 羊皮橘子
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亨利坚持上架前先给你看看这 Henri insisted I show it to you first before it's in any stores.
小淘气 Naughty.
下一个 Pass.
走 Go.
这件来自精品店 From Salon de Gorgeous...
欲火啊 Thrilling.
下一个 Pass.
-你怎么一直和我唱反调 -真唠叨 - Are you gonna say no to everything I like? - Ding, ding, ding.
没人愿意买他们母亲喜欢的内衣裤 No one wants to buy lingerie their mother approves of.
对不起 艾德里安 我只是对衣服没感觉 I'm sorry,Adrian. I'm just I'm not feeling it.
-你怎么了 -没什么 - What's the matter with you? - Nothing.
我猜 I guess...
如果我要买内衣裤的话 心里要有参照人 I guess when I...when I buy underwear, I just need to have someone in mind.
妈妈 让我们直面事实吧 And well, mom, let's face it,
在经历了四个悲剧的婚姻后 四个 after four failed marriages, four
还有个失败的婚礼 我被当成股权交易了 and oh, oh, and a failed wedding where I was traded for stock.
荒唐 你只是经历了短暂的不快 Nonsense. You're...you're momentarily unhappy.
也难怪你心里不快 And why wouldn't you be?
让我失望过的男人不计其数 Oh, I can't tell you the number of times I've been disappointed by men.
但你知道什么让我撑下去吗 从没倒下 But do you know what never lets me down, not ever?
如果这玩意有电池的话 我宁愿不要了 Oh, oh, oh, well, if it has batteries, mom, I'd really rather not.
我说的是你呢 亲爱的 I'm talking about you, dear.
你和你兄妹是我一生最大的幸福 You and my other wonderful children, you are the great joys of my life.
有一天你会明白的 Someday you'll know what I mean.
孩子们 排成队 所有人都赶快了 Children! Children, line up. Come on, everybody.
快走 快走 动起来 动起来 Let's go. Let's go. Shake a leg. Shake a leg
-乔治先生 -在这里 - Mr.George. - Here it is.
我拿到了 I made it.
乔治先生 Uh, Mr.George?
是的 我昨天送琪琪来的时候忘了带 Yeah, I forgot Kiki's permission slip when I dropped her off yesterday,
外出旅游的通行证 for the field trip.
你老婆今天打电话说琪琪不来上学了 Your wife called and said Kiki wouldn't coming to school today.
-什么 -你好 乔治先生 - What? - Hi, Mr.George.
嘿 莫莉 Hey, Molly.
-琪琪人呢 -我现在正想弄明白呢 - Where's Kiki? - Uh, I'm trying to figure that out right now.
-我老婆什么时候打来的 -今早 - Uh,when...when did my wife call and say this? - This morning.
她说她们去度周末 She said they were gone for the weekend.
有问题吗 Is there a problem?
问题 问题是你没有告诉我要接走她 The problem? The problem is that you didn't tell me you were taking her.
这是临时决定的 尼克 It was a last-minute thing,Nick.
有个客户突然打电话来了 This client called out of the blue.
是个漂亮的海景房 我去挑几件艺术藏品 It's a beautiful house right on the beach. I'm going to select some art pieces.
我不管你是不是用手指画画 Look, I don't care if you're painting them yourself with finger paints,
莉莎 你不能绑架我们的女儿 Lisa, you can't kidnap our daughter.
这段谈话到此为止 你明显疯了 I am not having this conversation.You are obviously insane.
周一之前我会把她送回来的 I will have her back to you on monday.
周一 本周末轮到我了 莉莎 我们有协议 On monday? This is my weekend, Lisa. We made an agreement.
莉莎 莉莎 Lisa? Lisa?!
感觉很有家的味道 It feels pretty homey.
我是说 尽管到这里就一天 我已经感到 I mean, I've only been here a day, but I'm already getting the sense that,
我属于这个地方 um, this is where I belong.
这真是太好了 儿子 That's so wonderful, son.
我能为你做什么 爸爸 So what can I do for you, dad?
几年前 A few years ago,
我们挫败了西蒙·艾德勒的生物燃料项目 we put the kibosh on Simon Elder's biofuel project.
现在他是你的合伙人 他的收益就是你的 And now he's your partner, so his profits are your profits.
准确来说 整件事成功的关键是委员会的主席 Precisely.The key to the whole business was the chairman of the committee,
一个叫查尔斯·沃特利的家伙 a fellow named Charles Watley.
现在如果能说服他改变立场 Now if he could be persuaded...to reverse his position,
这对大家都很好 that would be very beneficial to everybody.
我会和他谈谈的 爸爸 但仅此而已 I'll talk to him, dad, but that's it.
我不会逼他的 I'm not gonna push.
不 只是探探口风 看看他的立场 No, no, no, no. Just feel him out, see where he stands, you know?
是 但我不会做不道德的事 我尽力而为 Yes, but I'm not going to be unethical. I'll see what I can do.
谢谢 再见 Thanks. Bye.
你还好吧 是的 You okay? Yeah.
我想借一架喷气式飞机 Look, I need to borrow a jet.
莉莎未经我同意带琪琪出境过周末了 Lisa took Kiki out of state for the weekend without my permission,
甚至都没有和我说 without even notifying me.
我让全球定位系统公司锁定了车的位置 So I had the GPS company track the location of the car,
他们在马里兰州海边附近的某个地方 and they're somewhere near the Maryland shore.
你想过去带琪琪回来 You want to go there and retrieve Kiki.
飞去吧 Take the plane.Go.
好的 谢谢 All right.Thanks.
太棒了 Oh,yeah.
这正是我需要的 That's what it takes.
记忆像泉涌一般回来了 The memories are flooding back.
-你认为你能这样维持多久 -整个早上 - How long do you think you can keep this up? - All morning.
我是说假装失忆 I mean the amnesia act.
只要能让西蒙相信我根本不记得 As long as it takes to convince Simon that I remember absolutely nothing
他把你弟弟藏在某处的事 about how he's got your little brother tucked away somewhere.
然后我就搬过去 赢得西蒙的信任 Then I'll move in, gain Simon's trust,
足够接近他 从而找出他把那孩子藏哪里了 get close enough to figure out where he stashed the kid.
亲爱的 Baby...
你真不是做侦探的料 you're not really spy material,
更别说西蒙是个天性多疑的反社会分子 not to mention that Simon is a paranoid sociopath...
这还是当他心情好的时候 and that's on a good day.
你不可能接近他的 You're never gonna get close to him.
除非他认为那是他自己的主意 Unless he thinks it's his idea.
那就让我们让他那么认为吧 So let's make him think it's his idea.
有个疯狂的主意 Here's a crazy idea...
你好 乔治先生 Hello, Mr.George.
既然只有你和我一起去 克拉克 你何不 Since it's just you and me on this trip, Clark, how about you
打开卫星广播听一些少点歌剧色彩的东西呢 switch the sateite radio to something a little less operatic?
不是只有你我 乔治先生 Oh, it's not just you and me, Mr.George.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
我是偷偷上来的 你想干什么 听广播么 I'm stowing away. What do you want to do, listen to N.P.R.?
这是不可能的 It's not gonna happen.
是吗 我是坐飞机去华盛顿的 布莱恩 Yeah? Well,I'm taking the jet to D.C.,Brian.
哦 是吗 我也是 Oh,yeah? So am I.
你去干什么 Yeah, for what?
这是保密的 我可以告诉你 但是 It's classified. I could tell you,but...
那我们就真的有话说了 that might lead to an actual conversation.
-苍天不容 -克拉克 - God forbid. - Hey,Clark.
我们起飞吧 Let's blow this popsicle stand.
达林先生 只要最后的乘客登机 Uh, as soon as the last passenger boards the aircraft, Mr.Darling,
我们就起飞 the stand will be blown.
-最后的乘客是谁 -好啊 "水手们" - What last passenger? - Hello,sailors.
我们同路吗 对不起 Going my way? Sorry.
-看情况 你去哪 -答案会是否定的 - That depends.Where you going? - And the answer is no.
华盛顿外面的一个小地方 Uh, little place outside of D.C.
那里有一家精品店 非常独到 It's, um, a boutique of sorts, very exclusive.
是吗 你要买什么 珠宝吗 Yeah? What are you shopping for,jewelry?
不是 Nope.
那么 So...
你去买什么 What are you going for?
精子 Sperm.
-精子 -是的 你听的没错 - Sperm? - Yeah,you heard me.
系紧安全带 同志们 凯伦·达林要生孩子了 Buckle up, boys. Karen Darling...is gonna have a baby.
黑金诱惑 第二季 第11集 敞篷车
我妈给我出的主意 起初我完全反对的 Mommy kind of gave me the idea, and at first, I was totally against it.
我是说 小孩子拉屎还要抱紧 I mean,baby poo and holding...
那东西 但是自从我接受妇检并且 Things? But once I got a physical and
查了查精子和精子库 started doing research on sperm and their banks,
我还能说什么呢 What can I say?
-你被吸引了 -是的 - You got sucked in? - I did.
-多么美妙的想法 凯伦 -别 - What a lovely thought,Karen. - Don't.
别试图说服我放弃做这件事 Do not...do not try and talk me out of this.
你阻止了我嫁给西蒙 You stopped me from marrying Simon.
别阻止我怀上可可 Don't stop me from having Coco.
-可可 -那是宝宝的名字 - Coco? - That's gonna be its name.
我要去挑选一个捐赠人 然后安排一个人工授精 I'm gonna pick out a donor and I'm gonna schedule a squirt
或者随你们称呼这个过程 or whatever it is they call it.
支持我吧 大家 快点 Support me,people.Come on.
我想的 凯伦 我只是认为 Well, I want to, Karen. I do. I just think that...
你怀上一个孩子 you with a kid?
好像你有什么为人父母的经验要教给别人 Oh, yeah, like you have anything to teach anyone about parenting?
别说我 布莱恩 Don't start with me,Brian.
你和莉莎离婚的那一刻 你就应当走上法庭 The minute you and Lisa broke up, you should've gone to the authorities
告她虐待儿童还有生活不检点 and accused her of child abuse and loose living.
-是真的 -那不可能是真的 - It's true. - Well,that wouldn't have been true.
知道么 那又怎么样 You know,so what?
至少你不用进行这个任务 去绑架自己的孩子 At least you wouldn't be on this mission, going to kidnap your own kid back.
当涉及到孩子的问题时 尼克 你得玩点阴的 When it comes to kids, Nick, you gotta play dirty.
谢谢你的建议 牧师 Well,thanks for the advice,Padre.
你去华盛顿到底干什么呢 Hey,what are you going to D.C. for, anyway?
如果你们两个要知道 You know,if you two need to know...
我去为帕特瑞克举办的晚宴送祝福的 I'm giving a benediction for a state dinner that Patrick's hosting.
对不起 伙计们 Sorry about that,folks.
我们遇到了一点急气流 We're heading into a little bit of chop.
马上就会恢复平静了 It should even out in no time.
等等 特瑞普不去参加帕特晚宴 挺奇怪的 Wait, Tripp isn't going to Patty's dinner? That seems kind of odd for him.
我想帕特想让每个人离这件事远点 Well,I guess Patty wants everyone to stay the hell out of it
或者也许是叫他们自顾自做事 and maybe mind their own business maybe.
看起来出事了 不是吗 That can't be good,can it?
布莱恩 我想上帝和所有人对你的看法都一样 Hey, Brian, my guess is that god feels the same way about you that everyone else does.
但是万一他真是一个洞悉一切的人 But just in case he's, like, a big-picture kinda guy,
也许你应该祈祷吧 maybe you could just toss out a prayer.
我不会给世界带来危难的上帝祷告 No, I am not gonna pray to god for protection from a world that he made dangerous.
我们就撑一下吧 Just tough it out.
好吧 我来祷告 你们他妈把头低下 Okay, I'm gonna put a word in, all right? So just bow your friggin' heads.
焦虑吗 不 一点也不 Anxious? no, not at all.
因为没有理由焦虑啊 Because there's no reason to be.
一切都按计划进行 Everything's going as planned.
不是过于自信 只是 It's not overconfidence. It's just...hey,hey,hey.
别威胁我 我什么时候让你怀疑过我的忠诚 Do not threaten me. When I have I ever given you reason to doubt my loyalty?
我什么时候 When have I ever...
好 好的 对不起 Okay.All right.I'm sorry.
我保证 我会办成这事的 I promise, I'll get it done.
听着 萝拉到了 我得挂了 Listen, Nola just arrived. I gotta go.
抱歉我迟到了 Sorry I'm late.
这是什么 What's this?
帕特瑞克·达林与参议院农业委员会 The minutes to Patrick Darling's first session
第一阶段会谈的详细记录 with the senate agricultural committee.
-他做的怎么样 -他坚持己见 - How'd he do? - He held his own.
你自己看 全在里面 You'll see.It's all in there.
等等 Wait.
-那是什么 -什么 - What is that? - What?
你有个唇印 You have a hickey.
我确实有 I do.
欢迎来到八年级 And welcome to eighth grade.
谁给你留下的 你在和谁约会 Who gave it to you? Who are you seeing?
杰瑞米·达林 Jeremy Darling.
杰瑞米 杰瑞米·达林有失忆症 Jeremy? Jeremy Darling has amnesia.
我原以为他记不起你了 I thought he didn't remember you.
他不记得了 他现在也不记得 He didn't. He doesn't.
就这么自然而然你俩上床了 又一次 It just so happens you two have fallen into bed together...again?
我想我们只是来电了 I guess we just have chemistry.
是的 Yeah.
希望那是真的 Let's hope that's true.
因为如果我发现他的失忆症是装的话 Because if I were to ever find out that his amnesia was anything less than genuine...
他什么也不记得了 相信我 He doesn't remember anything.Trust me.
那么 So...
我能为你做什么 参议员 What can I do for you, senator?
我来是和你谈论西蒙·艾德勒的生物柴油项目 Well, I came to speak to you about Simon Elder's biodiesel project.
如果我没记错的话 现在是和达令集团合资的 Which is now a joint venture with Darling enterprises, if I'm not mistaken.
对 没错 That's correct, yes.
而你父亲想让我改变谈判立场 And your father would like me to reverse my negative position now that
这样子他就有钱赚了 there's money to be made in it for him.
那是 我不确定他会这么说 That's...I'm not sure that's how he would put it.
当然不会 再说 Well, of course not, but then again,
你父亲从不会说实话的 不是吗 your father never says exactly what he means, does he?
我这么和你说吧 Look, I'll tell you what...
你何不将我的话传达给你父亲 参议员 why don't you tell your father, please, for me, senator,
多年前他 that the position that he...
迫使我接受这位置 pressured me into taking all those many years ago
是我真正想要的吗 is one I've actually come to agree with?
我不会改变我的立场 I will not reverse my position.
众议员 我查看了数据 你应该 Congressman, I've looked at the data, and you should...
这次会面到此结束 参议员 This meeting is over,senator.
你何不在下次看到你父亲的时候帮我转达 Oh, and, uh, why don't you tell your father for me,next time you see him...
我希望他烂在地狱里 I hope he rots in hell.
好了 我们遇到一个问题 Okay, we've got a problem.
我来用力拉操纵杆 看看我们能否从上面飞过 I'm gonna pull back on the OL' joystick,see if we can get up above it.
布莱恩 天啊 Brian? Oh,my god!
怎么了 What?!What?!
他真的在祷告 He's really praying!
那噪音是什么 尼克 那个响声是什么 What's that noise? Nick,what's that sound?
-克拉克 -现在不是闲聊的时候 乔治 - Clark? - Can't chat,Mr.George.
对不起 这里有点忙 Sorry. Little busy here.
但是 你得赶紧好飞行安全带了 But, uh, you should go ahead and buckle those seat belts.
-亲爱的 尼克 -凯伦 - Sweetie...Nick,Nick... - Hey, Karen!
我知道我过去说过 但现在是时候再说一次了 I know I said this before, but if there was ever a time to say it again, it's now.
什么 凯伦 What, Karen?
我不知道你是否真的相信我 但我爱你 尼克 I don't know if you've ever really believed me, but I love you, Nick.
我真的爱你 I really do.
这种时候开什么玩笑啊 You gotta be kidding me.
凯伦 Karen.
我不知道是什么或是一切都在阻挠我们 I don't know what in life or just everything that has kept us
让我们无法在一起 and made it impossible for us to be together,
但是我心里真的清楚 but I do know in my heart...
你就是我的那个人 你一直都是 you're the one.You always have been.
天啊 Oh, god. Oh, god!
这就好了 抱歉发生刚才的事 This is it. Sorry about that.
有点令人不快 但是 我们安全了 Got a little hairy there, but, uh, we're fine.
大家坐好放松 享受旅途 Why don't you just, uh, sit back, relax, enjoy the flight,
该干嘛干嘛 and, uh, just...just go back to doing whatever you were doing?
给你 Here you go.
好的 Okay.
那么 So...
什么 What?
你刚才说 You were saying?
我们这是在哪 Where the hell are we?
我们刚到威尔克斯-巴黑郊外 We are just outside of Wilkes-Barre.
-宾夕法尼亚州 -是的 - Pennsylvania? - Yeah.
回那个驾驶舱 带我们飞离这里 Hey, get back in that cockpit and fly us outta here.
不行 先生 由于大风 No can do, sir. The F.A.A. Has grounded
联邦航空局已经下令让所有飞机停在杜勒斯 all flights into Dulles due to heavy winds.
风 你们连小小的风都怕吗 Wind? You're afraid of a little wind?!
男人点 你个娘娘腔 Just man up you big...sissy!
这不是他的错 布莱恩 Hey, it's not his fault, Brian.
你这么急去干什么 Hey, what are you in such a rush for anyway?
因为我做了承诺 Because I made a commitment.
人们都在指望我 People are counting on me.
我介意 I care.
是的 我也有个约定 但你没有见我发脾气啊 Yeah, I have an appointment, too, but you don't see me throwing a hissy fit.
我也能冷静 Well, I'd be calm, too ,
如果我身上流着一条伏特加酒的河 if I had a river of vodka running through me.
你知道吗 我们还是开车去吧 You know what? Let's just drive.
我看不出给你开车的理由 I don't see why you get to drive.
因为你开车像达令祖母一样 Because you drive like grandma Darling.
是的 你开得像波杜克(某美剧飙车角色) Yeah, and you drive like Bo duke.
布莱恩 你开到九十码了 慢点 Hey, come on, Brian. You're going 90. Slow down.
我有急事要办 Hey, I've got places to go.
-我们也是 -我们还想活着过去 - So do we. - Yeah,and we'd like to get there alive.
该死 Damn it.
-什么 -我想撒尿 - What? - I gotta pee.
别担心 我不会提起 Don't worry. I'm not gonna bring it up...
你飞机上说的话 the thing you said on the plane...
-好 -关于我就是你的那一个 - Good. - About me being the one.
我很高兴你不准备提这事 I'm glad you're not gonna bring it up.
我没必要提 I don't need to.
我听够了那些生活中关于你就是唯一的 I've heard enough declarations of love in my life to know
虚伪的誓言 而你是说真的 the real ones from the knockoffs, and you meant it.
凯伦 我原以为要坠机了 Look, Karen,I...I thought the plane was going down.
我知道 而你说出了内心的话 I know, and you spoke the truth from your innermost heart.
真的很浪漫 It was very romantic.
但问题是 你会怎么处理这些感情 But the question is, what are you gonna do with all those feelings?
代我向他问好 Oh, tell him I said hi.
帕特瑞克 怎么了 Hey, Patrick. What's up?
关于众议员查尔斯·沃特利你知道多少 What do you know about congressman Charles Watley?
几年前他投了西蒙的生物柴油项目的反对票 He voted against Simon's biofuel a few years back.
那时候我还没来你家工作 帕特 That was before my time,Pat.
他真的很讨厌老爸 He really,really hates dad.
那也不是不可能 你老爸结怨很多 Well, that doesn't sound unlikely.Your dad's made his fair share of enemies.
在这个特殊的事件上 我毫无头绪 In this particular case,I have no idea why.
听着 我们有点来迟了 Listen, we're running a little late,
但是我们租了车还带来了牧师 but we got the last rental car and we have your minister.
你说什么 What are you talking about?
布莱恩 我们带来了布莱恩来赴宴 Brian. We've got Brian for your dinner.
什么晚宴 What dinner?
我原以为今晚有盛大的国会晚宴 I thought there was supposed to be some big state dinner tonight
他要做祷告的国宴 that he's praying at.
这对我来说是新闻 That's news to me.
我想我误解了吧 抱歉 Well, I guess I misunderstood. I'm sorry.
-没事 -好了 我们待会见 帕特 - No problem. - All right. I'll see you later, Pat.
不 没门 Oh, no. No way.
你有五秒钟上从后门上车 一 二 You got five seconds to get in the back of the car.One...two...
三 四 五 three,our,five.
嘿 杰瑞米 Hey,Jeremy.
你想见我吗 You, uh, you wanted to see me?
是的 请坐 Yeah, yeah. Have a seat.
我只是想你谈谈一些我听说的传闻 I just wanted to talk over a little rumor I've heard about.
传闻 A rumor?
说道八卦 我兴趣就来了 说吧 Well, uh, when it comes to gossip, I'm a bitch. Let's dish.
关于谁的 Who's it about?
你 You.
你父亲和我现在是合作伙伴 所以我听到一些事 You know, your father and I are parteners now, so I hear things.
他说你和萝拉·里昂 He mentioned in passing that you and Nola Lyons are...
曾经有段罗曼史 having a romantic relationship.
她是你女友吗 兄弟 因为如果我知道 我不会 I...is she your girlfriend, dude? 'Cause if I had known,I would not...
不是 No,no,no,no,no,no.
她不是我女友 杰瑞米 而且她永远不会是 She's not my girlfriend, Jeremy, and she never would be.
那就是我想和你说的 That's what I need to talk to you about.
我要给你个警告 I need to give you a warning.
-关于萝拉吗 -是的 - A...about Nola? - Yeah.
直说无妨 Hit me.
杰瑞米 她是个危险的女人 Jeremy,she's a dangerous woman.
怎么会 How so?
现在你记不得这个了 但是 Well, see, now you...you don't remember any of this,but...
她过去做了很多伤害你们家族的事 杰瑞米 she's done a lot of harm to your family,Jeremy,
而且我认为她还会做更多 and I think she intends to do more.
我在听 Well, I'm...I'm listening.
她第一次和你发生性关系 She got sexually involved with you the first time
是为了获得你妈妈的案子内部信息 in order to gain inside information about your mother during her trial.
而现在她进入帕特瑞克的生活来获得 And now she's insinuated herself into Patrick's life in order
对付你父亲的方法 to gain political leverage against your father.
她在准备摧毁你和你整个家庭 She's out to destroy you and your entire family.
我只是认为你应该知道 I just thought you should know.
我们到了 人种中心 Well, here we are...man-seed central.
这看起来不像是全世界最高级的精子库啊 This doesn't look like the most exclusive sperm bank in the world.
相信我 我做了工作 这就是最好的 Trust me.I did my homework.It's the crame de la crame...
可以这么说 So to speak.
-祝我好运 -好运 - Wish me luck. - Good luck.
是的 好运 马到成功 Yeah,good luck,and make it snappy.
从里到外 In and out...
可以这么说 So to speak.
也许下周我们要再试一次 well,maybe next week we'll try again.
发生什么了 What the hell is going on?
帕特瑞克在你方便时来电说今晚没有国宴 Patrick called during your little potty break,and there's no state dinner tonight.
那你为什么急着去华盛顿 So why are you in such a rush to get to D.C.?
布莱恩 Brian?
我前妻打电话叫我去 My ex called.
梅玲华 Mei Ling Hwa.
-关于什么的 子女赡养问题 -不是 - About what,child support? - No.
她想和我睡一次 She wants to sleep with me.
这是我俩感情的余热 It's a little last tango in Georgetown.
我们分手了 她突然回到香港 她现在想要 We broke up, she vamoosed to hong kong, and...and she just wants a little...
一个了结 closure.
你会这么做吗 And you're gonna do it?
我为什么不会 Why the hell wouldn't I?
你刚和安德里亚结婚 You just got married to Andrea.
安德里亚和这个没关系 Andrea's got nothing to do with this.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
尼克 你知道结婚是什么感觉 Oh, come on, Nick. You know what it's like to be married...
灵魂支离破碎的荒凉 例行公事一般 the soul-crushing monotony, the routine.
你结婚四周了 You've been married for four weeks.
发生什么了 What's up?
我刚刚朝精子库里看了下 有点 I just poked my head inside the bank, and it's a little,uh...
-精子味 -像诊所 - Spermy? - Clinical.
这就叫氛围 It's called ambiance.
我要你们和我 I need you guys to come...
一起来 with me...
走进那个诊所 inside...in the clinic.
-来吧 -进去 - Oh,come on. - Inside the...
快点 你也是 扑克脸 Come on,you,too,pokey.
快点 Come on.
我想要特别与众不同的人 I want someone super special.
我不能随便把一个人的染色体带入这个家族 I can't bring just anyone's chromosomes into this family.
当然 达令女士 但你必须知道 Of course, Ms.Darling, but as you must know,
我们只为最有眼光的客户服务 we cater to only the most discerning clientele.
是的 我并不想要那些获得诺贝尔奖的 Yeah,yeah,and I don't want any of these nobel prize people either,
他们总说和平 because the...the peace..
这也和平 那也和平 我不要 yeah,the peace,peace,blah,blah,blah stuff,I don't want...
也不要太聪明的 and no one too smart.
我不想给个书呆子喂奶 I don't want to breast-feed a nerd.
你想要一个多才多艺的人吗 You,um,want someone well-rounded.
对 多才多艺而且要帅 Exactly.Well-rounded and cute.
帅 Cute?
你为什么花了这么久时间 What's taking so friggin' long?
别问了 布莱恩 她不是买双鞋这么简单 Hey,back off,Brian.She's not buying a pair of shoes here.
你还想到什么特别要求吗 达林女士 Do you have any particular physical attributes in mind,Ms.Darling?
是的 Yes.
我要一个穿上法国衣服不错 I want someone who looks good in the french designers,
同时能够胜任意大利风格 一个全能的人 but who can pull off the italians,someone versatile.
觉得你应该讲的更详细些 Think you're gonna need to be a little more specific.
身高 体重 眼睛颜色 Height,weight,eye color...
天啊 Oh, god.
六尺二寸 一百七到一百七十五斤之间 6'2"-ish, between 170 and 175,dirty blond leaning towards sandy auburn
沙滩褐色头发 蓝眼睛 and ixnay on the ack-bay air-hay,
我很爱干净 Because I keep a clean house.
什么 What?
抱歉 我不经注意到 你完美地符合她要求 I'm sorry,but I couldn't help noticing,you fit her description perfectly.
的确 不是吗 He does,doesn't he?
抱歉 我有点想吐了 Oh,I'm sorry.I just threw up in my mouth a little.
失陪一下 我再去拿点资料 If you'll excuse me,I'll just go and pull some more profiles.
好主意 Excellent idea
-干嘛 -我觉得你应该面对事实 - What? - I think you need to face the facts.
-什么事实 -你应该当我宝宝的爸爸 - What facts are those? - That you should be my baby daddy.
-我 -对 - Me? - Yeah.
-不 -就你 - No. - You.
凯伦 我还没准备再当爸爸 还没 I told you,Karen,I am just not ready to be a father again,not yet.
但宝宝是我的 尼克 But the baby would be mine,Nick.
你什么事都不用做 You wouldn't even have to do anything...
除了和我上床 Except sleep with me.
你能做点小牺牲的 是吗 You could make that one little sacrifice,couldn't you?
就像你以前做的那样 Like so many others before you have done.
闭嘴 布莱恩 Shut up,Brian.
我现在要全力以赴的是 找回我的孩子 Look,what I would really like right now is to concentrate on getting my own kid back.
-你为什么不直说呢 -说什么 - Hey,why don't you just say it? - What?
你觉得我会是个很差劲的妈妈 You think I'd make a lousy mother.
-因为我没那么想 -你就是那么想的 - Because I don't believe that? - Yes,you do.
我可以从你的眼神里看出来 尼克 I can see it in your eyes,Nick.
你知道你在做什么 You know what you're doing?
你在拿我和你的宝贝莉莎比 You're comparing me to your precious little Lisa.
-我没有 -你就是有 - No,no,no. - You are.
我告诉你 老兄 Well,I got news for you,pal.
你的宝贝莉莎瞒着你 把你的女儿偷走 Your precious little Lisa stole your daughter away from you and didn't tell you,
而我永远也不会那样对你 Which is something that I would never do to you.
听着 我 Look,I...
我一生里只想要一段 I just want to have one pure
能让我全情付出的 纯洁简单的感情 Simple relationship in my life about me being my best for someone else.
如果他穿尿布还不会讲英语 我也认了 And if that means it's with someone who wears a diaper and doesn't talk English,then so be it.
见鬼 Damn it.
又怎么了 What's wrong now?
凯伦的真情告白把车吓坏了 Karen's sincerity killed the car.
我错了 Sorry.
我好累 I am tired.
脚趾疼 My toe hurts.
没戏了 爸爸 It's dead in the water,Dad.
我去见沃特里了 坦率地说 他还是恨你入骨 I went to see Watley,and quite frankly,he still hates your guts.
还 是什么意思 What do you mean,still?
他让我感觉 你总是欺压他 You tell me.He gave the impression you squeezed him pretty hard.
欺压 我从不欺压别人 任何人 Squeezed? I never squeezed anybody,ever.Anyone.
我不想再回到沃特里那儿逼他了 I don't want to go back to Watley and push him on this.
这是你的问题 你引起的 你自己解决 This is your problem.You caused it.You fix it.
帕特瑞克 我极少请求你做任何事 Patrick,I very rarely ask you to do anything.
这是为了我们家 为了公司 This is for the family,for the company.
你再去找沃特里 You go back to Mr.Watley...
把这事办了 And you get it done.
好吧 爸爸 Right,Dad.
你从没欺压过任何人 You've never squeezed anybody.
我不知道我刚在想什么 I don't know what I was thinking.
我们可以放心了 公主陛下 Our worries are over,Princess.
似乎不可能吧 That doesn't seem quite likely.
真的 西蒙彻底被我蒙住了 It is.I've got Simon totally snowed.
他对我的失忆深信不疑 还说了你的事 He is so convinced I have amnesia,he told me about you.
-说我什么 -你的光辉历史 - What about me? - Your checkered past.
没有什么我不知道的 Hey,it's nothing I don't already know.
杰瑞米 他在试探你 Jeremy,it's a test.
试探什么 For what?
还不懂吗 他向你透露消息 Don't you see? He's fed you information,
然后等着看你的反应 And now he's gonna sit back and see what you're gonna do with it.
那我该怎么办 So what am I supposed to do with it?
他说的事有多糟糕 Well,how bad were the things he said?
很糟糕 Pretty bad.
那你也要做些很糟糕的事 Then you're gonna have to do something pretty bad.
对谁 To who?
对我 Me.
-莉莎 是我 -干嘛 尼克 - Lisa,it's me. - What,Nick?
我现在在华盛顿城外的旅馆里 I'm at a motel just outside of D.C.
明早就去你那接琪琪 And I will be there in the morning to pick up Kiki.
我跟你说了 I told you...
我说了周一把她送回去 你怎么追到这来了 I told you I would get her back to you on monday.Why did you come down here?
协议里不是这么说的 这个周末是我的 Because that wasn't our agreement.It's my weekend.
所以你要毁了她的周末 她现在很高兴 尼克 So you have to spoil hers? She is having a great time, Nick.
我们今天去骑马了 明天也有活动 We went horseback riding today.We have plans for tomorrow.
我以为你要工作 Oh,I thought you were working.
是的 但也有活动 这事为什么要迁就你 I am,and then we have plans.Why are you making this about you?
-我没有 -没有吗 - I'm not. - Aren't you?
难道你没有因为常年不在家感到内疚 Aren't you feeling guilty because you have been an absentee father all these years,
现在又装腔作势想要弥补 说句难听话 And you are trying to make up for it with this grand gesture? Hard as it is for you to hear,
尼克 没有你 她一样过的很好 Nick,she is fine without you.
她现在很快乐 She is having a great time
请不要为了证明自己是个好父亲 So please don't ruin her weekend trying to prove to yourself
就毁了她的周末 that you are a good father.
现在又怎么了 What happened now?
你老婆隐退到巴基斯坦边境的山洞里了 Has your wife retreated into the caves near the border of Pakistan?
差不多 Yeah..
究竟怎么了 What happened?
莉莎指责我 说我到这来 Lisa...accused me of coming down here
是因为我愧疚 从分手前我就没有当好父亲 Because I feel guilty for not being a better father from before the break-up.
知道吗 她说琪琪没有我也过的很好 You know,she said Kiki's fine without me.
随便吧 Whatever.
不 怎么能随便呢 No,not "whatever".
你怎么对她说的 What did you say to her?
没说话 我还能说什么 Nothing.What am I supposed to say?
"你个满嘴谎话 不忠不贞的贱人 "You're a lying,cheating bitch.
我们坚贞的感情都比不上你的画廊" You care more about having your own art gallery than you do about the integrity of our relationship."
你可以说诸如此类的话 I mean,there are things you could say.
她说的没错 布莱恩 She's not all wrong,though,Brian.
自从开始为你家工作 我就时常心不在焉 Ever since I started working for the family...I've been distracted,absent.
就像我小时候达齐总不在身边一样 You know,just like Dutch wasn't really there for me when I was a kid,
我也没有时常在琪琪身边 也许她是对的 I'm not there for Kiki,and...you know,maybe she's right.
也许我这么做是为了我自己 Maybe I am doing this all for myself.
琪琪没有我也很好 甚至更好 Kiki is fine without me.Better off,even.
你知道吗 出去 You know what? Get out.
-认真的吗 -完全真的 - Are you serious? - I'm totally serious.
为什么 Why?
第一 我也算你半个兄弟 Because for one,I'm your half brother
我不要在这听你自怨自艾 And I'm not doing you any favors listening to this self-pitying crap.
感情是双方的事 尼克 Relationships are a two-way street,Nick,
你比大多数父亲都称职 And you are a much better father than most.
第二 And two...
我在和梅玲华发情色短信 I'm sex texting with Mei Ling Hwa,and...
我们准备要进入下一个阶段了 I think we're ready to take it to the next level.
出去晃晃吧 So just take a hike.
你可以睡地上 You can sleep on the floor.
但别靠近床 Oh,but not anywhere near the bed because,
你有什么不纯洁的想法 然后你的超级小蝌蚪 you know,god forbid you think an impure thought
意外地让我怀孕 真是天理不容啊 And accidentally impregnate me with your super sperm.
凯伦 Karen...
我刚被莉莎和布莱恩训了一通 I just had my ass handed to me by Lisa and Brian.
为什么 因为你高人一等 For what,being superior?
过去点 Move over.
因为我不是个好爸爸 Being a bad father and just...
而且几乎一无是处 Generally sucking at everything.
我不想谈这个 饶我一次 好吗 You know,I don't want to talk about it.Cut me a break,would you?
好吧 但仅此一次 Okay,but just this once.
你在看什么 What are you watching?
你不是坏爸爸 你自己知道 是吧 You're not a bad father.You must know that,right?
我不知道我还明白些什么 I don't know what I know anymore.
老天 尼克 证据已摆在眼前 琪琪就是 God,Nick,if the proof is in the pudding and Kiki's the pudding,
你是个好爸爸 这不是莉莎一人的功劳 You're a great Dad.Lisa didn't do that all by herself.
你是不是想说服我让你今晚怀孕 If you're trying to talk me into getting you pregnant tonight...
我没有 I'm not.
但是我们可以先练习一下 But we could try for a practice run.
-凯伦 -怎么了 我们可以 - Karen. - What? We could.
如果我们要在一起的话 If you and I are gonna be together...
以一个好的 有建设性的方式 In a good,constructive way...
我很确定不是从今晚这个旅馆开始 I'm pretty sure it doesn't start tonight in a motel...
而且这个房间一股咖喱味 In a room that smells like curry.
那你就和我一起睡觉吧 Well,then why don't you just sleep with me?
我刚说的你一个字都没听进去吗 Did you not listen to a word I said?!
我说 尼克 "和我一起睡觉" I said,Nick,I said "sleep with me,"
就是抱着我 只是一起睡觉而已 Like hold me,like actually sleep with me.
好的 Yeah.
我愿意 I'd like that.
真不错 就像在初中 This is nice.It's like junior high.
是啊 如果我们在孟买长大的话 Yeah,if we'd grown up in Bombay.
你好 Hi
谢谢你中途来见我 Thanks for meeting me halfway.
不客气 No problem.
这地方不错 Nice place.
不是我梦想的爱巢 Not exactly my idea of a love nest.
你知道 计划赶不上变化 Well,you know,man plans,God laughs.
说来话长 It's a long story.
你气色不错 You look good.
你也是 So do you.
你还要带着白领吗 You gonna keep the collar on?
-你想让我解掉吗 -不 - You want me to? - No.
我不知道 I don't know.
我以前没干过这个 I've never done this before.
我也没有 Well,neither have I.
严格意义上 我只是偷情 I mean,technically.I've only cheated on you...
没有和你偷情过 Not with you.
你真是个混蛋 You're such a bastard.
布莱恩怎么不来 Why isn't Brian coming along?
我不知道 I don't know.
我又不是我同母异父弟弟的监护人 I am not my half brother's keeper.
喂 是我 Hello. Yes
好的 Oh,okay.
谢谢 好的 拜 Yeah.Thank you.All right.Bye.
谁啊 Who was that?
我纽约的医生 给我做体检的那个 Um,my doctor in New York.He is the one who do the physical.
打电话说我的生殖系统一切就绪 Just calling to confirm that all of my lady parts are good to go.
参议员先生 Senator.
再来一杯爱尔兰威士忌 Another potcheen,please
也给我对面这位尊贵的同事一杯 And one for my esteemed colleague from across the aisle.
有何贵干 参议员先生 To what do I owe the pleasure,Senator?
你爸爸的替罪羊越来越少了吗 Your father running low on whipping boys?
恰恰相反 The opposite.
我特此来为我早先的无知道歉 I've come to apologize for my complete ignorance earlier.
我现在明白你为何对我那么失望 I think I understand now why you were so frustrated with me.
你明白了 真的吗 You do? Really?
当然 Of course.
我一辈子都被我父亲欺压 I've been subjected to a lifetime of bullying from my father.
很显然 被欺压的岂止我一个 It stands to reason I haven't been the only one.
我父亲永远不会给你 你应得的道歉 Listen,I know my father will never give you the apology you deserve,
但是我希望 你能接受我的道歉 But,uh,I hope you will accept mine.
不管他做了什么压迫你的事 Whatever he did to pressure you...
我在这赔礼了 I'm sorry.
接受你的道歉 Apology accepted.
太好了 Great.
好极了 Terrific.
我希望这样的话 我们能更进一步 Well,I hope this means we can...move forward.
我也希望 Oh,I hope so,too.
-抱歉 -怎么了 - Excuse me? - What?
你刚那是干嘛 What the hell was that?
我以为你知道你父亲的所作所为 I thought you understood what your father had on me.
你有老婆孩子 You...have a wife and children.
你还和变性人搞在一起 And you have a thing for transsexuals.
但是有女性器官 Yeah,with...female parts.
我不是同性恋 I'm,uh...I'm not gay.
抱歉 I'm sorry...
让你误会了 参议员 For the confusion,senator.
对不起 And I'm sorry...
我不会投你票了 But you won't be getting my vote.
还算顺利 That went well.
别跑太远 Don't wander off.
爸爸 Dad!
你好吗 玩的高不高兴啊 How are you? Are you having fun?
现在你来了 就更高兴了 Now that you're here,though,it's even better.
谢谢 Well,thank you.
妈妈来了 Your mom's here.
你怎么还是来了 Why are you doing this?
我说了琪琪这周末跟我过 所以我来接她 Well,like I said,this is my weekend with Kiki,so I thought I'd come and pick her up.
-你开了这么远就为了我 -那当然了 - You drove all the way here for me? - Of course I did.
你不能不打招呼就来 尼克 You can't just show up here unannounced,Nick.
我们谈过的啊 We, we talked about this.
我们什么都没谈成 所以我开车来了 No,we didn't talk about anything.That's why I had to drive down here.
还有十分钟开饭 宝贝甜妞 Ten minutes to dinnertime,baby doll.
-宝贝甜妞 -爱德华 这是尼克 - Baby doll? - Edward,this is Nick.
尼克 Nick.
久仰久仰 I've heard a lot about you.
你好 Hi.
琪琪 你先跟爱德华待一会儿 Hey,hey,Kiki,would you mind staying here for a second with Edward?
我想和妈妈说说话 I just want to talk to your mom.
马上就回来 Be right back.
-你搞什么鬼 -他是我一个客户 - What the hell is going on here? - He's my client.
他绝不仅仅是客户 除非你妓女 Well,unless you're a prostitute,he's obviously much more than just a client.
很好笑 Funny.
爱德华请我来更新他的艺术藏品 Edward invited me here to update his art collection.
-我们关系很不错 -很显然 宝贝甜妞 - We're getting along. - Oh,well,obviously.Baby doll?
我们俩分开两个月了 尼克 You and I have been separated for two months,Nick.
我有权约会 I am allowed to date.
莉莎 你暗自把女儿带走 还跨过州界 Lisa,you didn't inform me you were taking our daughter,and you took her across state lines.
不要耍法庭的那一套 Oh,don't talk to me like we're in court.
我不是被告 尼克 你也不是法官 I'm not on the stand,Nick,and you are not the judge.
你想说你一直都很纯洁吗 What,you want to tell me that you've been so pure?
我从没说我很纯洁 I never said I was pure.
说说和你客户上床的事吧 Talk about getting in bed with your clients.
不管怎样 我还是琪琪的爸爸 Hey,whatever I am,I'm still Kiki's father.
为了我们的女儿 And for our daughter's sake...
我不想在这闹 我马上离开 I'm not gonna cause a scene.I'm gonna get outta here.
但我们彼此都明白 But you know and I know that
经过这 你不可能得到完全监护权 After this little stunt you'll never get full custody now.
对半分是最好的结果 也是我一直要求的 50-50 is the best you can hope for,which is what I've been offering all along.
你确保琪琪周一前回来 Now you make sure that Kiki's back by monday.
琪琪 Hey,Kiki.
我不知道你原来这么高兴 我要回城了 Man,I had no idea you were having such a good time,and I gotta get back to the city.
等你回城我们再见面 好吗 So is it okay if we see each other when you get back into tn?
好吧 抱抱 All right,hug.
拜拜 Bye.
爸爸 Dad.
我爱你 I love you.
我也爱你 I love you,too.
准备吃晚饭 来吧 You ready for dinner? Come on.
西蒙 Simon.
你跟杰瑞米说了什么 What did you say to Jeremy?
-有关什么 -我 - About what? - Me.
奇顿 去把车发动 Triton,go start the car.
告诉我发生什么了 Tell me what happened.
他冲我大吼大叫说你告诉他我在密谋 He came screaming at me saying that you told him everything about how I was plotting against the family,
要拆散他家 Trying to tear them apart.
我说他不了解 他就打了我 I told him he didn't understand,and then he hit me.
我保证 我没叫他打你 I assure you,I didn't tell him to do that.
-根本没有 -西蒙 西蒙 - Not at all. - Simon.Simon
听着 我现在压力很大 Look,I am under a lot of pressure right now.
大到你无法想象 Pressure you know nothing about.
如果你想好过点 就别惹杰瑞米·达林 If you want to make it easy for yourself,stay away from Jeremy Darling.
是冲你来的 That was meant for you.
各位 今晚飞行会很平静 Looks like smooth sailing tonight,folks.
很快就到家 So,uh,we should be home in no time.
你很安静 You've been quiet.
梅玲让你心情开朗了吗 Mei ling lightened your mood?
她改变了我的心情 She...changed it.
一切都如你所愿吗 Was it everything you expected it to be?
你想听床上部分吗 You want to hear all the dirty details?
她到了旅馆 She came to the motel.
我请她进来 I invited her in.
她脱了外套 She took off her coat.
我们在床上坐了二十分钟 十七分钟 We sat on the bed for 20 minutes,17 of which...
我都在讲安德丽娅 I talked about Andrea.
就这 And that was it.
所以你没干 So you didn't go through with it?
没有 No,I didn't.
我干不了 I couldn't.
最后三分钟 Those last three minutes...
我努力了 I tried.
野兽起不来啊 The monster wouldn't come to life.
也许这样最好 布莱恩 Well,maybe it's for the best,Brian.
这样你更忠于你爱的人你爱的事 You're actually one step closer to committing to something,to someone you really love.
是吗 你呢 Yeah? What about you?
你什么意思 我和凯伦吗 Wh,wh,what do you mean,me and...me and Karen?
对 Yeah.
你们俩有孩子肯定很怪异 肯定的 The two of you having a kid would be weird,sure,
但那不是会最糟糕的 But it wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened.
回家真好 Oh,it's so good to be home.
累死了 That was exhausting.
谢谢你帮我拎包 欠你四元小费 Thanks for the lift.I owe you 4 bucks for the tolls.
回见 See ya.
-凯伦 -到 - Hey,Karen. - Here.
我知道想要孩子的心情 真的 I know what it's like to want to have a child.I do.
我不知道跟你说过没 莉莎和我努力了六个月 And I don't know if I ever told you this,but Lisa and I had to try for six months
直到我们怀上琪琪 Before we got pregnant with Kiki.
我还记得当时 And I remember what it was like...
躺在床上 等不及要见到宝宝 Laying in bed thinking about this little person I wanted so badly to meet.
她就是不出来 我都快疯了 She just wouldn't show up,and it drove me crazy.
你知道我的感受 这真是欣慰 尼克 谢谢 You know how I feel.That's a, that's a real consolation,Nick.Thanks.
凯伦 凯伦 我想 我想说的是 Hey,no.Karen,Karen,I guess what I'm,what I'm trying to tell you is...
我爱你 I love you.
真的 I do.
我愿意做你孩子的父亲 And I am open to being your baby daddy.
什么 你 你愿意 你真的愿意吗 What,you're,you're open,you're open to,you're open to it?
现在还不行 对不起 I can't do it yet,and I'm, and I'm sorry.
现在还不能那么做 But I,I can'T.I can't do it yet.
好吧 Ok,okay.
但是如果我们慢慢来 我们 But if we were to take things slow,like...with us
比如约会 Like,like going out?
对 约会 Yeah,going out.
也许就不用很久了 Maybe it wouldn't be such a long way away.
在我们还没意识到的时候就已经成了 We might get there sooner than either one of us thinks.
-怎么了 -没什么 - What's wrong? - Nothing.
-凯伦 我 -那是 那是 - Karen,I - That was just,that was...
那真是 That was really...
那真是太感人了 你刚说的话 That was really sweet,what you just said.
早点睡 Get some sleep.
亲爱的 我就知道是你 Dear? I thought that was you.
-怎么了 -我怀孕了 - What's wrong? - I'm pregnant.
已经怀孕了 老天 那些精子库可真是效率高 Already? My,those sperm banks are very efficient.
不不不不 妈妈 这和 No,no,no,no.No,no,Mom,Mom,it isn't...
这和精子库一点关系都没有 It doesn't have anything to do with sperm banks.
是给我做检查的医生 It's,the doctor that gave me the physical,
早上打电话说我怀孕了 he called this morning.I'm pregnant.
-是西蒙的孩子吗 -是西蒙的孩子 - With Simon's baby? - With Simon's baby.
天哪 宝贝 Oh,no.Oh,my God.Oh,baby.
杰瑞米 抱歉这么晚把你叫来 Jeremy,I'm sorry I had to call you over so late
谢谢你能来 Thanks for coming.
谢谢你请我过来 Thanks for having me...
我觉得 I think.
你必定听说了我那迈巴赫车 I'm sure you heard about the Maybach...
还有奇顿 And Triton.
我记忆很模糊 Well,I've,I've got a vague memory.
模糊 你哪里是记忆模糊 Vague? You got a lot more than a vague memory.
我直说了 杰瑞米 Let's cut to the chase,Jeremy.
我知道你没有失忆症 I know you don't have amnesia.
如果我记的没错的话 我有 If,if i remember correctly,I do.
别白费口舌了 我强烈的感觉到 Do not waste my time.See,I got this gut stinct that
你不是那种会打女人脸的男人 Says you're not the kind of guy who's gonna punch a woman in the face.
那更像是萝拉的主意 That sounds a lot more like Nola's idea.
这不要紧的 杰瑞米 不要紧 It's okay.Jeremy,it's okay.
因为你虽然骗我说你失忆失败了 Because,see,you failed at fooling me about the status of your memory,
但是成功向我传达 But you succeeded in communicating to me
你有多在乎她和她弟弟 How much you care for her and her little brother.
弟弟 我不知道她有个弟弟 Brother? Uh,I didn't know she had a brother.
你知道的 现在我们这么做 Yeah,yeah,you did.Now this is what we're gonna do.
我来让你当大英雄 See,I'm gonna let you be the big hero.
我来安排你解救萝拉的弟弟 I'll arrange things so you can rescue Nola's brother.
但你也要为我做点事 But I'll need something from you.
什么事 What?
我要你帮我杀个人 I'm gonna need you to kill someone.
谁 Who?
我 Me.