Mom?
Dad?
Al?
Hello!
Al?
The thunderbolt.
Papa.
Okay! Bring her in!
That's it.
Okay, now put those... yeah. Secure it over there.
Yeah, the other tree.
That's it. Tighten it up.
Okay! Up, up!
Go.
Over! A little bit.
Watch it. Back it up. Keep it going.
Back her up. That's it.
Hey, Terry, what's that thing called again?
A geode. Thunder eggs.
- I don't think we should be doing this. - Hey, chill out. They'll never know.
My dad will have a seizure.
It's your own fault. You should have called me before they filled it in.
- Yeah, but... - There's gotta be more down there.
You know how much you can get for a big one? 100 bucks.
It smells like something died in there.
- It looks like a cave. - Wicked.
- Be careful. - Here.
- Jeez. - It's nothin'.
What is it?
What the hell was that noise?
I don't think we should be doing this.
Who cares?
We're rich.
Come on.
Al, don't! Wait a sec! You promised I could have these.
I said that 3 months ago. They've been sitting in my room.
But, Al...
Quit calling me Al. My name is Alexandra.
- Well, aren't we gonna launch 'em? - You can do whatever you want.
- I've gotta go. - Where?
- You promised we could launch them. - I'm going shopping with Lori and Linda.
The Lee sisters.
Al, wait! What about the thunderbolt?
Just forget about the thunderbolt. It's gone.
What do you need her for, anyway? I mean, what's the big deal?
Well, ever since I burnt a hole on the roof,
my dad says I can't launch any of my rockets without supervision.
Hey, I'll supervise.
Hey! You guys, wait for me!
Come on!
Get in the car!
- What are those for? - Live cargo.
Forget it. Got wet in the trash. Totaled.
How long do you think they can live without air?
- Hey, man, that's cruel. - Come on. It's neat.
Glen?
Glen!
It's just irresponsibility. I don't know.
Is it too late to call Mrs. Vandergrift?
Daddy, please, you can't call a baby sitter. I'm gonna be 16 in wot weeks.
You said I was mature enough to accept the responsibility.
And, honestly, I promise there won't be any problems.
Well, what do you think, Glen? Can you be trusted?
I don't know.
If your father and I agree to let the two of you stay alone for 3 whole days,
- how can we be sure that you'll behave? - It was Terry that started it.
If Terry jumped off a bridge, I suppose you'd jump off, too.
Sure. Why not?
Look, I can take care of Terry and I can take care of Glen.
I can take care of this house.
Please?
All right. But, you, young man, are grounded for the weekend.
And that means that you do not leave this house until we come back.
Grounded? For real?
For real.
And after dinner, pal, you fill in that hole.
Okay.
Good night, Glen.
No, leave it on.
Glen?
What's with you today?
It's... I don't know. It's something about that hole.
What do you mean?
I don't know. It's just weird.
Well, you... you filled it in, didn't you?
Yeah. But Terry told me something.
- What? - Well, he said a long time ago,
when they were building our house, a workman got killed.
And the other workmen didn't want to tell the police,
so they sealed him up in one of our walls.
Look, son...
let me tell you something about Terry.
You remember last year when Terry's mom died.
Yeah.
Well, ever since then, Terry's been a little strange.
I think he's kind of angry inside that his mom's gone.
So, you just remember that when he gets destructive or...
tries to scare you.
I think he's just a little confused, that's all.
- You know what I'm saying? - I think so.
- You want me to turn the light on? - No, it's okay.
Good night, tiger.
- Dad? - Yeah.
Never mind.
- Good night. - Good night, pal.
Don't forget that Angus gets his pills every day.
Make sure they're hidden in his dog food or he'll spit them out.
- And I don't want him on the furniture. - I know, Mom.
- Goodbye, hon. - Bye.
- Bye, Mom. - Goodbye.
- Bye, Dad. - See you guys.
- Goodbye! - Bye!
Bye, Mom.
And don't forget, the numbers where we'll be are on the refrigerator.
Al, if you need us for any reason, don't be afraid to give us a call.
- It's just being responsible. - I know, Mom.
- Remember, you stay in this weekend. - Okay.
And I want the house clean when we come home. No parties.
Okay!
Lori! Linda!
Hey, wow! Great party!
I don't know. Here.
What a tool. He just totaled his car.
Brutal!
Hey, somebody get this dog a beer.
Put me down!
Get away!
Come on!
Hey! Bug off, Angus! You stink!
I'd like smell you when you're 97.
He's not 97.
In dog years.
It's just not gonna break.
Why don't we get the Lee sisters to look at it?
Yeah.
No, we could throw it off the roof tomorrow. Come on. Let's go party.
- She won't let us. - Sure she will. Why not?
It's just... forget it.
Told ya. Look at it.
Is it supposed to do that?
I don't know.
Maybe it just got compressed air when it was being formed or something.
Look. It made some kind of marks.
It's words. What's it say?
It's weird.
"Aca...
"Kuto...
"Alla...
Eta."
He made his way down the dark hallway.
And the squeak keeps getting louder.
And there's also this... like a laugh.
And there's this weird tearing sound.
So she goes to the door and she opens it really slowly.
And there, in the rocking chair,
is the decomposed corpse of her dead father.
And in his lap is the severed head of her boyfriend.
And he's tearing out hair by the handful.
- You made that up. - I believe it.
- Come on. It's bullshit. - Weird things happen all the time.
So we make up ghost stories to explain the powers inside us that we don't understand.
- What kind of powers? - Well, like...
- Will you guys ever do levitation? - I've seen that. It's an illusion.
No, it's a matter of concentration. It really works.
Do you believe in all that stuff?
Me, too.
Now, everyone just... clear your mind.
- You broke your concentration. - No, I broke my fingernail.
- Too much junk food. - It doesn't matter. It's not the weight.
Hey, little man, come here.
- Glen, go back to your room. - No, come here. He'll be all right.
- Let's see if we can levitate him. - It's a cinch. He's a midget.
- Okay, we'll just use two people. - Sit down.
Brad.
Okay, hold your arms out, one on top of the other, and make little circles
to trans... transmit and stimulate the energy.
And everyone else concentrate.
Now everyone just... clear your minds...
and think of Glen as light as a feather.
Concentrate.
Okay.
Like...
dust...
drifting in front of the windows, like...
dandelions in the breeze.
Rise.
Rise...
Hey. Help!
Come on! Get me down!
Are you okay?
Glen.
Maybe I won't do that... again.
Glen.
Glen, you all right?
I think it's because he cried in front of everybody.
Hey, Glen... don't be embarrassed. Crying's nothing.
Remember when Trevor Stubblefield pantsed me in front of the whole auditorium?
Yeah. And I barfed on Steve Slavit after the 12-minute run.
- I want to call Mom and Dad. - Glen, no.
- I want you to call them. - What am I gonna tell them?
We're scared because we levitated Glen and he broke the light? Great.
- You must love Mrs. Vandergrift. - Al...
Look, Terry can sleep over and keep you company.
Let's all just get some sleep. I'm gonna lock up.
You really barfed on Steve Slavit?
Yep.
Terry...
I love you.
Mom?
I need you.
Mommy.
I love you.
Terry...
come to me.
Terry...
I've missed you so much.
No. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
The workman.
Angus.
What's going on?
I'm really sorry.
Yeah. He was really old.
Yeah.
He was 97. They don't live much beyond that.
Well... you want to come over later and mess around?
Sure. Yeah.
Guess I'll see you later?
See you later.
Dad!
Oh, great.
What'd you do with Angus?
Hey. Don't worry about it.
Aren't you gonna call Mom and Dad?
- No, I'll take care of it. - Well, if you're not going to, I am.
Glen, Mom and Dad are gonna be home tomorrow.
I don't care. I want them to know what happened.
You're not calling them.
- Nice try. - Fine.
- I'll just call them later. - What's the matter with him?
- Isn't romper room on today? - Buzz off, clown face.
Don't you have to go upstairs and change your pampers or something?
- Don't you have to go and join the circus? - Hey, you guys, come on.
In a time before the Earth,
before the sun, and before the light of the stars,
when all was darkness and chaos,
the old gods, the forgotten gods,
ruled the darkness.
But what was theirs now belongs to the world of light and substance,
and the old gods, the rightful masters, are jealous,
watching mankind with a hatred that is as boundless as the stars,
with plans for the destruction of man that are beyond imagining!
There's a passageway between our physical world of light, pleasure,
and their spiritual world of madness and pain.
A gate behind which the demons wait
for the chance to take back what is theirs!
Eric really likes you. You've gotta come to the beach with us.
- Well... - Look, everybody's going.
We're having a bonfire and everything.
I don't know. I mean, I just can't go.
Lookit, just leave him some Gerber's. He'll be fine.
Al, you can't go out. What about Angus?
What about what happened last night? You have to call Mom and Dad.
- Glen, cool out. - What's he talking about?
Tell 'em.
Angus died last night.
- Tell 'em about the other stuff. - There is no other stuff.
What's the matter with you guys? Something really scary happened last night.
- What? - The levitation.
You guys were there.
Hey, little man, that was just an illusion.
What do you know, lover boy?
- What is your problem? - You, Alexandra.
- You're acting like a baby. - Just shut up.
- Fag. - Hey.
Tres uncool.
- What are we waiting for? - Look...
You can't back down now. You have to go.
I have to do something about Angus. Take him to the animal shelter or something.
- Eric will do it. - Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it.
And we'll all go to the mall and get munchies and stuff and we'll all meet up there.
Come on!
- Don't be too long, Eric! - Yeah, okay.
- See ya. - See you at the mall!
Come on, Alexandra. He'll be okay.
Oh, no.
We're in big trouble.
Tell me about it.
- How could it come back by itself? - I think I know what this means.
You know, with the levitation and all that other weird stuff?
What?
You got demons.
- Demons? - Come on.
We better try to cover it up first. You take this side here.
I don't think this is gonna be enough.
Give me a break. Come on.
Slow down.
How do you know so much about this stuff?
I got something to show you.
Shit! Closed. Sorry, dude.
No vacancies.
They're called sacrifyx, and my dad brought it from Europe,
and it's got all this stuff in it.
See, these guys are, like, really serious about demonology.
And it's like they're trying to warn you.
See? These guys knew. They wrote their own music.
They got their lyrics from this thing called The Dark Book.
That's like the Bible for demons.
And here's the creepy part. This is their only album.
And after they made it, they all died in a plane crash.
- And look at this. Demon Lord. - Terry, come on.
Wait a minute. See? The lyrics in the album tell you how to summon the demons.
And there's this certain time when these constellations are aligned
when you can open the gate and let the old gods...
those are the demons, come through.
Well, I checked, and it's, like, now.
- Terry, but... - What?
- Terry, this is a record album. - But, you see, there are these songs
that tell you about the whole ritual for opening the gate. We did it.
Here.
Start by reading this aloud. You know what it means?
"Gods of darkness, breeders of chaos,
"come forth and take possession of this vile world."
And you need blood. Remember when you cut yourself?
It's all in here.
The hole...
Okay.
The geode.
And look at this.
The levitation.
What's that supposed to prove?
It proves we're in big trouble.
I didn't tell you about the most important part of the ritual.
The sacrifice.
- We didn't kill anybody. - It doesn't have to be a person.
It can be an animal.
Well, then, how come we haven't seen any demons?
I think it's because the sacrifice wasn't complete.
If we had put the offering in the hole, it would have blown the gate wide open.
I think right now it's like only open a crack.
They can influence us, but they can't get through.
It's just...
How can this be true?
Wait. You haven't heard anything yet.
- What's this? - It's the album...
backwards.
It tells you how to close the gates.
"We consecrate this ground, this world of light.
"We curse the abominations of darkness.
"We block the passage of evil. May the old devils depart!
"May they burn in the fires of their own damnation.
"May they freeze in the infinite cold and darkness of their own hideous creation."
- Isn't that kind of insulting? - I guess it's supposed to be.
I mean, we're trying to get rid of them.
- Maybe you should do it one more time. - All right.
Begone, begone, begone!
- Thou art hideous, filth-eating, unspeak... - What the hell are you doing?
What's under the door?
Hey, did you guys dig in that hole again?
We accidentally summoned demons who used to rule the universe
to come and take over the world.
Yeah. We found out about it from one of Terry's albums.
Well, they're gone now.
Well, so what's under the door?
See? They're gone.
It worked.
You guys are weird.
Thought you were going to the beach today.
I was, but I spent all my money.
On what?
Well, are you gonna just stand there or do you want to launch it?
- Come on. - All right!
Listen to this.
"Beware, conjurer. Once set free into our world,
"the power of the old gods is unimaginable
"as they seek 2 human sacrifices to establish their hell on Earth.
"The ruination of mankind lurks just beyond the gate.
"The demons can only be destroyed and the gate closed once again
"by a true spirit of gentle passions wielding energy
"derived from pure love and light."
Okay. Houston, ready for liftoff.
- Ready? - Ready.
Ready, Houston.
Okay.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
Blastoff!
Yeah! All right!
Yeah!
That's the best.
- Who's that? - Well, there's one way to find out.
Demons aren't gonna ring the doorbell.
Worse. The Lee sisters.
'Cause we got you a great new top, and I got these new jeans,
Hey... I thought you were going to the beach tonight.
- We're having a slumber party. - And you're not invited,
so don't get all retarded on us. Alexandra, what's your problem?
- Hey, don't touch that. - I'm just looking at it.
Come on, that's my dad's. Put that down. He never lets us play with it.
Okay, okay. Don't have a cow.
Way to go.
Here.
The thunderbolt.
- She didn't throw it out. - Hey, are you guys in bed yet?
Almost. Put it back.
What are you doing?
- Probably fagging off. - What did you do to your face?
None of your beeswax, four-eyes.
- I think it's a definite improvement. - Hey, eat your feet, dwarf.
- Suck my nose till my head caves in. - Why don't you grow up?
- Drop dead. - Up yours!
- Piss off! - Why don't you just shut up!
Just go to bed.
Did you ever want a brother or a sister or anything?
Nope.
Indians. Oh, boy.
"Dark Master, demon of unimaginable size and power."
Terry?
Terry. Terry.
Are you awake?
Al! Al! They're back!
- The moths came back! - What? What is it?
- They broke the window! They're in my room! - What are you talking about?
Oh, my gosh.
Terry?
Hey, Terry, wake up.
Terry!
- Terry? - What did you do to your hair?
Real cute.
Guys, get over here!
Al, get in! Al!
Get it off of me!
- Go! - Let's go!
Come on! Hurry!
- Where are we going? - Run!
Somebody tell me what's going on!
Mom! Dad!
You've been bad!
Glen! Come on!
What are we gonna do?
Back door!
What are we gonna do?
Oh, shoot!
- Hurry up, Al! Hurry up, Al! - Would you guys shut up?
I don't see anything.
- Come on! - I'm trying!
- Let me take a look first. - Good idea.
Al, I think you better come back!
Shut up, you guys!
Al, come back.
What do you want? What is it?
Come on!
- Hurry up! - Come on, hurry up!
Hurry!
Look.
Are you okay?
- What the hell is going on? - Somebody knock her out again.
I'm calling the police.
Answer it!
Hello.
You've been bad!
We have to close the gate. We have to go to the hole and do it right.
You mean, you guys were serious about that demon stuff?
What does it look like?
- What the hell are you talking about? - The spells, they're in the basement!
Who's gonna go get them?
Are you sure we can get rid of them?
Yeah. I've got all the spells and curses to banish the demons.
- Demons? What kind? - Don't ask.
- How do you know what to do? - Just trust me. I know what I'm doing.
Right.
- Al. - What is it?
Forget it.
Over there.
What? Do they hate music?
Great, now what do we do?
- The Bible. - What?
Prayers. The Bible. That's what they always use!
These guys are older than the Bible.
Do you have anything better?
- How do we know what to read? - We'll find something.
Yeah. We went to Sunday school.
We should've called Mom and Dad before this.
- I wish Mrs. Vandergrift was here. - It's a little too late for that.
- We found one. - Good.
Okay.
Let's do it.
The gate's open.
I know it is.
- No, it isn't. - How do you know, Terry?
'Cause we'd all be dead meat by now. We'd be the sacrifices.
- Sacrifices? - I told you.
The demons need two human sacrifices to stay and make their hell on Earth.
- We don't all have to go. - Yeah.
Maybe it would be better if we waited inside.
My heroes.
You've got to be kidding.
I hope this works.
Me, too.
Here it goes.
"Deliver me from my enemies, father in heaven.
"Deliver me from the workers of iniquity.
And save me from the devils of blood."
"Away from my soul, and return in evening, they howl like the dog.
"Thou shall bury the evils, and they will walk the Earth no more.
"Because of thy strength I will wait for thee, for God is my high tower."
It's working!
Hey, that's pretty good.
Hey. It worked.
- I can still hear them. - There's one more part here,
- then they should be gone. - Don't get so close.
- It's okay. It's working. - Get back!
Don't be such a...
- Terry! - Terry!
What are we gonna do? Terry!
- Terry! - Terry!
Hey!
Where is he?
- Hi. - Hey.
No! Terry! Answer me!
Terry! Answer me!
Help! Glen!
- It's not gonna work! - Glen! Help me!
Come on!
Let go!
No!
Help! Get me out of here!
Help!
Here he comes!
Get it over here!
- Terry! Grab it! - Where's the Bible?
- I can't reach it! - "Deliver me from my enemies,
father in heaven.
- Stop it! - "Deliver me from the workers of iniquity.
- Glen, stop! - "The devil's of blood.
- For those who lay... - Glen, stop it!
- You're making them mad! - Glen, grab my feet!
- Hurry! I'm falling! - Get it down here farther!
- Glen, help! - What are we gonna do?
- Got it! - Hang on!
- Pull me up! - Hold it!
- Come on! - It's closing!
- Hurry! - Come on!
- Pull! - Hurry up!
My shoe! I lost my shoe!
Wait... Bible. Where's the Bible?
- I don't know what to read. - Read anything!
"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth."
Shit.
- It's gone! - It's gone?
- It's gone! - All right!
All right! All right!
Come on, let's go! Yeah!
Hello?
Wait.
- It's just us. - What happened?
- It worked. - I knew it.
- Are you sure? - No, we're all dead.
- Welcome to heaven. - What were you guys doing in there?
We heard noises.
- Oh, no. - What?
Al, what is it?
- What have you been doing, mud wrestling? - Not funny.
- What are you doing here? - Came to party.
Thought we'd surprise you.
Well, look, I've had enough surprises for one night.
- Could you guys just please leave? - Come on, Al. Be real.
- Al, we invited them. - Well, maybe you should just go with them.
- Fine. - Come on. Let's go.
- We can take a hint. - What a drag.
- She's just not ready for me yet, guys. - Oh, shut up.
Boy, Mom and Dad are gonna be pissed when they see this.
Yeah. What should we tell 'em?
Frisbee.
It's gonna be dawn soon. Why don't we all clean up and get some sleep?
Are you kidding? I'm not gonna sleep for a week.
- Yeah, come on! Let's go watch some TV. - Yeah, okay.
Well, I'm gonna go get cleaned up.
- Al? - Yeah?
You're better than Mrs. Vandergrift any day.
You know, it wouldn't be so bad to have a sister.
Wonder if we can still sell it?
I don't know.
- Here. Catch. - Glen!
Way to go. Terry!
It's the workman.
I just made it up.
No!
No! No! Let go of me!
- Glen! - Terry!
Glen! No! Glen!
Glen! Get help!
Glen! Glen!
No!
Glen!
Al!
Al! Al!
- Let go! Let go! - Glen! Glen!
Let go!
Glen!
Oh, Glen!
- What the hell was that? - It's the workman. It got Terry!
- The what? - He just made it up, and it got him.
- It took him into the wall! - What do you mean?
It's the first human sacrifice.
Dad's gun.
- It's all my fault. - Dad's gun! Glen!
- It's all my fault. - Go get dad's gun!
It's all my fault.
Glen!
Glen, go!
Hurry!
- Hi, it's me, Glen. - Al!
Glen!
Come on!
Help!
Help! Al, help!
Get him off of me!
Al, the rope. Help me!
Al, help me!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Close the door!
Hurry!
- Where's the gun? - Over there!
Did Terry say that there was some way we could kill them?
Energy derived from... I can't remember!
Shit!
Hey!
- Leave her alone! - Glen! Let me go!
No! Let me go! No!
Let me go!
Al!
Let me go! Please! No! No!
- Glen! Please! - No!
Glen!
The second human sacrifice.
Love and light. That's it! The thunderbolt!
Energy derived from...
Come on! Where is it?
Come on!
Please.
Hell on Earth.
No!
Come back here! Take me instead!
I'm next!
Don't you want another sacrifice?
Come back! Take me instead!
Come back. Come back.
Glen!
Help us!
Glen!
Help us!
Happy Birthday, Al!
Yeah!
Angus!
Oh, Angus.
Good boy.
Angus.
Al!
Glen!
Glen.
- Angus! - Terry.
All right.
Think they'll notice?
Give me a break.
You're my best buddies.