Well with love so far.
It's one of those we are expecting and looking for from our clients.
Right.
But is also going to be important for us to become aware of what it is that our clients are going to
be looking for from us.
Now I have already given my old reference to this the last video when I was looking and discussing the
blocks that impede an impact listening or.
So what I'm going to talk about first and foremost is what it is that we as practitioners and coaches
really need to be bringing to the party.
First and foremost to really when another person's trust to when a person's heart.
First and foremost we've got to be absolutely aware.
All right.
We need to be completely aware of ourselves.
All of these ideas have been sharing throughout this course.
They're not going to serve us or other people as mere concepts inside of our lines.
Right.
We have looked at anchoring up and saw no one every single idea every single video every single concept
of shared through this course.
I'm hoping that you've been able to anchor or relate to another experience in your life because if you've
done less than what you're going to have graun in this understanding.
So if you fundamentally understand these these ideas that we're talking about and that are presented
to you through the course they're hoping you're going to be more aware of yourself than what many other
practitioners and coaches are out there because if you're aware of yourself this is your qualification
to be available for another person because awareness and availability go hand in hand.
Awareness is being completely aware earns a tenth of all for yourself.
By this I mean you're aware of how it is that you're responding or reacting to another person.
If they come into the room and start behaving or acting in a certain way.
Are you responding to them through transference.
Countertransference Is there a parallel process going on.
This is what you've got to be aware of because if there is and you're not aware of this and this is
going to come at the cost of the relationship because you're going to end up focussing more on your
perception of reality than reality itself the only reality you want to be focussing on is their reality
warping and receptive and appreciative are they of you.
And this is something that you've got to be gauging all that time which means that you have got to be
fully available with in yourself to focus entirely on them.
Availability is about headspace.
In that last video I will look to the blocks and people listening or availability is all about your
availability to actually and active the way.
Listen if your mind is preoccupied with thoughts or distractions or your thinking about what you're
going to be having for dinner tonight.
When you get on or you're focussed on.
This is a smelly person or how this person is different from you than what you're focussing more on
is yourself and your own preconceptions or your own ideologies or your own world views rather than theirs.
And this is not coaching.
All right.
This is not helpful caution whatsoever.
One scene here is this doesn't happen overnight.
By the way you're not just going to be able to take these ideas write them down and you know you can
see.
Yeah.
Relationship management framework you got a ticket in my box that said done.
This has taken me years and years and years long just to understand but actually apply in the context
of my very own life because here's a thing I said in your key practitioner.
Well you were actually doing though as you stepping into leadership you were going to be leading and
influencing other people and the way in which they consider and do life.
So this is leadership and it's rost forum.
A thing as an effective leader if you are not aware of yourself or available for other people by disciplining
yourself and becoming grounded fully grounded and aware and available for other people then you are
going to miss the tracks because your degree of tentativeness is going to determine whether you're able
to see engage hope open receptive and appreciative they are.
So what we're talking about here is in order for any therapeutic calling practitioner based relationship
to work it's imperative that both parties are bring in 100 percent to the table not any less.
Oh yes in the early days in the first couple of sessions it may be the case that trust is still getting
developed.
Hence the reason we've structured this course and the way in which we have done right back at the start
of the course.
We focussed more on well-formed dot coms and now were looking at communication skills.
Why.
Because right at the start of any coaching relationship it's imperative that we establish what it is
that our clients actually want to achieve and then it's going to be what we see and how we see what
we say and the techniques and the processes that we use that determine whether.
Our clients go on to advance in their thinking and ultimately then go on to start healing and accomplishing
those goals that they that they want to stay in.
So all I'm really talking about here and all this idea as a boat is just to stand out.
First and foremost it's about us as human beings raising our standards.
Think about your own personal relationships right now.
You made your marriage you might have children or I know you can ranken Rate yourself.
Awareness availability and attentiveness in the context of every relationship you have.
You know I've known many men men especially some some women who become so used to the take some of their
relationships for granted when they're in the company of people that they actually say that they care
about.
They're just not they're not aware of themselves.
They're not aware of other people that they're not available because of preoccupied with thoughts and
distractions that are going on inside of their own mind.
And because of this they're not paying any attention to other people.
And this is when trust becomes damaged.
So if we want to fundamentally preserve the trust in our relationships which is should incidentally
always be a number one priority I mentioned best and I cannot emphasize this enough it's imperative
that were put in the standard to practice inside of our own lives because then and only then that we're
going to be freed up within ourselves to better appreciate and see what's actually happening in other
people.
Are they open.
Are they receptive.
Are they appreciative.
Because if they're not all three of those things are my friend.
This stand to potentially end up wasting your time.
Yes you might make some of them in the short term but I'm going to assume that that's not their main
priority that we're working towards here.
So this is the relationship management framework for a relationship to work it's imperative that both
parties bring 100 percent to the table.
From your perspective as a coach or a practitioner you've got to be 100 percent completely aware of
yourself and what's happening in the room availability.
Right.
This is about your degree of availability for them to pay complete attention because only when you're
paying 100 percent complete attention are you going to be able to recognize how open receptive and appreciative
they are.
And if they are not these strings of the answers they are not these three things the friend the coaching
relationship might not go the way in which you're well.
So this is a framework I'm going to strongly urge you to wrestle with these ideas.
And really is really these ideas to some of the relationships that you have going on in your life right
now husband wife spouse boyfriend girlfriend children boss employers colleagues whatever and just gauge
and evaluate and assess how much is your currently bring in to your own existing relationships.
Because this is going to help you better understand the changes you need to make moving forward as you
potentially enter into more helping based relationships.
I hope you found this interesting insight Forbes a very proud and good teacher and I do appreciate it
but I look forward to seeing you again in the next column.