*Finger click* We're gonna take the high path
Let's go - alright - let's do it
You're not welcome in these woods, get out
Pretty certain that's Honeywood
The ranger tricked us and told us to go left
Why's your back so furry?
So, you see the dwarf illusion drop and in its place stands a 7 ft tall creature
I will take you to the wolf den and you can talk to this new alpha
Alright then? And and she says this you see the face elongate, the ears go
from like pointed cow ears up to sharp, wolf-like ears as she turns into a gigantic direwolf
Let's follow wolf Vanessa
And as the light is fading, you see the very faint glinting of some yellow pale eyes
There's a lot more wolves...
So, Vanessa has finally led you into this glade, she's headed up to the top of the hill
she's seen that he is in apparently and then turned into this direwolf
and you realise that she can't speak to you while she's a direwolf
Direwolf sort of leads the way, you guys clamber up onto the top of this hill
and as you do so, as you crest over the top of this hill, you can see in front of you
about half a dozen wolves just milling around, and in the trees the glint of yellow eyes
I've got a question
Yes?
So the magic person that we were just talking to and shite
You know that problem that we just dealt with?
Just moments ago?
Yep, we all know what you're talking about
What's up with that?
I don't see why you're confused? This literally happened a few minutes ago Bodger
Okay, okay, let me explain.
So Master Laethil has taken over the temple of Carlabor
Right
and he is looking to destroy not only my reputation but take over the world
Riiight
And then when you guys came in, he tried to threaten us by telling us that he'd kill us
but then, Vanessa came along and said that all of the eyes of the forest are going to protect us
so he had to go away
Right!
Right, no, that's what I, you see that's what I thought, I was just checking that you knew
I had actually forgotten a lot of that
There's a snarling of a direwolf in front of you as if to say
"Now? Really? You want to discuss this now?"
and she starts to wander down and then the wolves start to notice her appearance
and she seems to have some sort of sway over these guys at least
she's a lot larger than them, she's while not the alpha, she seems to maybe be the beta wolf
and so there's some *aroooo* in response to her coming and then a few more wolves
and you can hear off in the distance, sort over this way and off this way kinda off the map
there's more wolves responding and howling so these guys are the ones that are currently here but...
Lot of wolves
So we do not necessarily want to engage, there are a lot more wolves. Okay.
She makes her way through and they show deference to her
and then you guys following?
No no no no no no, let's not go down there
let's stay hidden up on top of the hill
Are we hidden up here?
Definitely not. You're standing on top of the hill
I think if anything we're aware --
I take a few steps backwards
- In fact it's twilight - Am I hidden up here?
The sun is setting, what would it be? This way. And so you'll sort of battle it
Look our shadow's actually being cast like right over them
Yeah yeah yeah
I've got a feeling like, y'know, the game's over, we kinda like might as well go talk to them
Ha ha, look! I'm a wolf with them!
- Guys...Guys - Do we? Yeah
*whispers* I think these are the wolves that the frog people were talking about
Oh! Do you think so?!? Do you think so????
Maybe this giant pack of wolves is the giant pack of wolves they were talking about?
...the frog people were talking about!
Yeah yeah yeah
Are you serious?!
I think I, yeah!
F*** you're so smart Bodger
Guys, he's being serious, he's being serious
I figured it out, I figured it out
You guys see that there's a couple of wolves closer
Huahaaaaaa!!!!
have started making their way up, not aggressively, they've decided to wander up the hill
Ahaaaaa!!!
they're sniffing you out Greg
Hurghhhhh...
Arghh- *ahem*
Nope. Don't pat.
Can smell the garlic and fish all over you
I was gonna say, you've got a very pungent smell to you
Errr, shouldn't have worn my garlic today!
- Garlic and fish for breakfast, every day - Why do I put this on every day
no matter what I'm doing? It doesn't make any sense.
Alright, so are the three of you just standing around as well, on top of the hill?
- Yeah, I don't know quite what to do about this - Aye, for now, I mean like until...
I think we should let Vanessa do her business
Yeah, we just need to act calm, we need to act calm and not show-
Yeah, they can smell fear.
They can smell fear
And garlic.
And garlic. Again, my bad guys about the garlic
Probably shouldn't have worn it today
Garlic and fish
She starts to *snuffle growl snarl awoo! Awooo!*
And then you hear a response from in the trees, a very deep one
and you all actually recognise it as speaking common
in a very wolf-like voice but it starts to snarl back, it says
Grrr, you haven't brought me live prey in a while
and she says *bark growl grrrrrrrr*
- and he goes... - We've been set up
No? What are they then?
*Growl, snarl*
Speaking? Very well, I will humour you
Nailed it.
That's why, Ben, leaving his cellphone on!
Remember when we all had that moment?
I specifically silenced it, it was an alarm, it was an alarm, you can blame android
Oop, sorry guys, just forgot to turn the old phone off
Alarm
Not usually up this early you see, usually passed out face down in some mud, so
set the old alarm to wake me up, forgot to turn it off
We had the moment of being like everybody silence your phone and then you got yours out
and was like, I'm going to turn mine up actually
- Yeah yeah yeah yeah - Screw you
That bit me, that bit me, but I blame android, not my fault, I'm blaming android
Continue Rob, continue Rob. Sorry about that
You see er *giggles*
You see a glint of yellow eyes in the trees that seem to be sort of wolf level
and then it starts to move towards the edge of the trees so that the light behind you,
the fading sort of twilight glints off of a wet nose
and then the head raises up and you realise it was kinda on its front paws and it was wolf height already
and it raises up to about 6 ft tall
Jesus
And this massive black head emerges from the trees
Oh geez...Oh no...
You see the er-
- Have we been set up? - Everybody be cool!
A snout of a very large, very dark wolf
Oooooh
and as he pants *heavy breathing*, black wisps of smoke
- Oh no he's magical as well - pant out of the mouth and dissipate into the air
Alright...
He walks forwards and then he says
*Deep, gravelly voice* Well if you're here to talk, come down and talk
*High-pitched cowardly voice* Ooh boy!!
I, ok, guys I have a plan. What we do is you three go down there and talk to him
and I'll stay up here and what I'll do-
I feel like you're the strongest of all of us, maybe you should alone
- No, no no no, you guys go down there - Speak for yourself, I've got strength
and I'll stay up here...
*Disgusted silence*
Oh is that it? Oh.
Oh, that's the plan?
Oh right
Thought there was more
Right?
Just it sounded like you were...going somewhere with the intonation
No, no, I was finished! I don't want to go down there. Those wolves look terrifying!
So he steps forward, out of the trees
Alright, I'm gonna take the reins here
Good! Go! Go muscly man
I'd like to--
Go muscly man, go muscly man, go muscly man...
Runs over, Spartan kicks him down the hill
You knocked, you knocked me over??
And then the wolves pounce!
No, right, I'm gonna take a few steps down here.
- Excuse me, excuse me - Go with him
Alright, I'll come with you, I'll come with you
- Can I interject here for a second? I've got a few things-- - Oh, I'm gonna come as well
Go guys!
to get off my chest
Oh god
- He takes a few steps forwards and then he just-- - Now Bodger, can I just say?
- No no no no no - Choose your words carefully
- Bodger... - he's got a black smoking mouth and he's huge
If you get us killed...
I'll do this the way I want to do it. Here we go.
Right
First things first. I want my helmet back
Where is it? Where's my helmet?
They don't have your helmet...
I don't care. They're indirectly responsible for me losing my helmet which could affect my reputation
The frog people have been stealing my helmet because of you
What you gonna do 'bout it?
What you gonna do about it?
I, I regret my decision, and I start heading back to Baradun
As you start to head back, this one circles round
Ah piss.
Where're you going Greg?
Nope. I'm back, I'm back
There's a lot of wolves over there as well
Yeah, I'm back, there's, yep
I'm pissed off at you as well! You're not getting off so lightly
We're completely surrounded *hysterical giggle*
What you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna go hide behind, I'm walking down, I'm hiding behind this shed over here
- You see that this one follows you to the top of the hill - Thanks Baradun
- keeps an eye on you -That's fine, that's fine
Um, what Bodger meant to say was
how's it going? What's up?
- No no - What d'you want?
No no no, at the very least I mean that in a very pissed off manner
No, he's super pleasant about it, he's like
We will help you because that's what we wanna do, that's why we're here
What I want...is the thrill of a live hunt
Right. A live hunt you say. Well. Have I got a deal for you?
There is a tasty wee sorcerer hiding just over there
so if you all want to go and hunt him...
He would be a good hunt
And honestly, we're not an interesting hunt. We'll just stand here being like urgh
Ah you got me.
Him, he's real scared, he'll get adrenaline going, he'll run Ahhh!
He'll run so that'll be fun. So.
You see Vanessa starts to just like prowl between you and him
and she's kind of she's doing it in a way
in fact, make an animal handling check, you're the one with the best animal handling
Yeah, you remember how to do that right? - Yeah, totally
Because it was only last week that we played right?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
So you get the d20, you roll it - 14! - then you add your animal handling which should be pretty good
Er, animal handling 2? 16.
So you watch Vanessa and you can tell from her animal-like body language that she's in a protective stance
But not only of you, she's like, she's kinda mediating between the two of you
She's seen that Bodger's getting a little bit aggressive, she knows this guy tends towards aggression
Tell you what Vanessa. It would be great if you could f***ing talk!
Cos this guy can, why can't you?
He says: I was imbued this ability
Ohh, ah, right...
She was not...
Who imbued you?
The voracious quake
Ahhhh!
The voracious what??
- The voracious quake was the thing that - That rings a bell
the frog king, I can't remember his name, told us to watch out for
- Remember as we were leaving he said - yeah, that's right
beware of the voracious quake
Yeah, I can remember 8 months ago when that was said
No, it was only 2 days ago in-game
I also remember that clearly
Look at Adam taking notes, like a proper D&D player
Yeah, I'm all about this, I'm, this is-
So, he says: What I want, how about what you want?
To live! To not die here!
I wanna live!
You came here to talk to me?
Yes we did
Talk
Like I said, we want you to get out of the frog people's territory so they get out of our territory
What you got to say about that?
We're in our territory
Right. We tried. Um
Just got to say, this is quite intimidating. I'm kinda petrified
Um, can I, can we, I just want to...
Danger sense
Yeah! I'm gonna use danger sense
It's a skill that I was born with, and I've been honing for many years now
Is that a passive ability?
That is a passive ability, yes
I just wanna feel it out, just wanna feel it
Just feel it out
Is it like feel the dog?
Feel the wolf?
Let me begin
*sharp intake of breath*
He's a big wolf, he's quite big
Ah, *sniff*, ah
and there are many wolves all around us, we're surrounded
He's very big, in fact, he's very, he's quite a big, I've never seen a wolf quite that big before
Okay, I'm gonna feel this giant wolf. Yep, he's dangerous.
He's dangerous
Yep, this giant 6 ft wolf, pretty dangerous
Great job Bodger!
The wolf with smoke coming out of his mouth when he pants, yeah, pretty dangerous guy
Guys, I've used danger sense, it's a special ability that I have
and I have sensed that this situation - What have you found out?
is actually a bit dangerous
- Yeah, right, yeah yeah, see I don't have danger sense - Use that information as you will
- but I looked around and saw heaps of f***ing wolves - you are welcome
and I was like yeah this is pretty dangerous
Ah, it's because, I do have an ability, I've got a special ability
Yeah right, alright
He turns towards Ness who's pacing and he goes *snarl, grrrr, howl* and she goes *bark, grrrrrr*
And she becomes, her tail comes out and her ears go up
and you can tell that she's getting into an aggressive sort of stance.
Ooh, whoa
And it seems like he's asking her potentially
how much longer does this charade need to go on before he can eat you
Could I with minor illusion? What's it called? Minor illusion. Could I make a bunny rabbit?
You absolutely can, yeah
Okay, so I make a little bunny rabbit with minor illusion and it just hoofs it off this direction
With it being a minor illusion, it creates an image of a bunny rabbit then it statically moves forward
- Like a png - That's fine. That'll do it
That's fine
- It doesn't move at all but it just *schoom* - Great, we might be able to afford this visual effect!
I'm hoping, I'm hoping that it falls...
I'm hoping these two are the dumbest of the pack
Yeah, let me find out
I'm hoping they're the dumbest of the pack
- Alright - Okay, I like this
So make a-
Oh look! A bunny rabbit!
Make a deception check
I think I've got good deception
I'll say with advantage because of the bunny rabbit
11. Dammit
Wish it didn't hit the thing, would have been better
14 + 5 = 19
19 nice
- Alright, so I don't even need to roll for that - You're deceptive
You make a bunny rabbit that seems to burrow out of a hole that's not there
- and then just *zoom* - as a png
static png moves across this way
Check out these visual effects coming on the screen right now
Absolutely perfect
Hey little guy, you want to go and distract some wolves for me?
Nice.
Starts bolting away at his full speed
He managed to get to the end of this thing and *whoosh* dive off,
and then he's gonna make an attack at the bunny rabbit
And it hits and *poof* just claws go through into the dirt and he seems confused about it
Can you just start firing out a thousand bunny rabbits?
Let's try it again!
Let's, that one worked I'm gonna--
Alright, so, that *schoom* happens but what's happening with you guys while that's happening?
Well I still don't wanna start engaging in any sort of conflict here
I definitely agree
I definitely agree!
I'm trying to be the peacemaker here
I have a trowel!
You're tryna be the peacemaker??!
I'm trying my best!
- LISTEN. I am pissed off - I have a trowel!
I can't help us! I've got a trowel!!
I'm trying my best to be diplomatic here
Right, right, hang on. What's your name alpha wolf?
My name is Wither
Wither. Right.
That's an intimidating name!
So, look, we were sent here by the bollywogs? The big f***ing frogs
and they got a problem with you. Do you have a problem with the frogs?
What's going on mate?
They're too insignificant for me to have a problem with them
Right. Well how can we...?
What I have a problem with--
How can we convince you...?
...is my prey walking into my home
and preventing me a meal
Ahwoooooooooooooooooooooooo
and then you start to hear *awoo ow awooooo* from across
and then you start to hear padded feet running in your direction
Intimidation, use intimidation
at which point Vanessa, she turns to you and *barks*
and then she starts running across this way and you can see she is encountering like a large group of wolves
that are coming out of the forest and she is gonna tackle them.
I need you guys to roll initiative.
Aww...
F***
I thought we were going to avoid this
Dammit, it didn't work out!
I can't believe it - What! - I was trying to be so diplomatic
Oh my god...
4!
2! Woooo!!
I rolled a 1.
Oh god, this is going to go well for all of you
I rolled a 1. (Shame)
Plus that
Oh, plus 3, 7!
A 7 total, alright. So, Bob, who's going to be blue. Blue Bob, Bob blue is-
Blue Bob innit
...seven
Greg, top of there, there we go.
I've got, so I've got 4
4 total, green Greg, there we go
Baradun?
I don't, I rolled a 1
A one plus no intiative?
I don't have initiative?
Nope, you don't have any dexterity so Baradun's
No initiative
so red Baradun, Ba-red-un
Wait, wait...
I've got 14 + 1
14 + 1 = 15. Alright
So one of you at least gets to go at some point
You better, you better make your turn count
Ohh-wee!
Alright, and then...
I'm just so glad I made these guys piss off
Alright, then baddies number 2 is gonna get a... let me check it...alright, so they get-
It's been a great game guys
It's been a great game
Six
We had a good run
Yeah, we had a good run
And Wither get's an 18
Oh Good.
Seriously?
Good. Great.
So
Good
Top of the round
Wither. He seems to be the one to--
Good luck guys!
kickstart it
Good luck guys!
Nice. Nice nice nice
I'm so glad I came down off that hill
You're all standing in a perfect cone for him so after *aroooooooo*
he brings down his head again and gets up onto all fours and then *heavy panting*
Ooh, ooh, danger danger...
Aah! Aah!
- I'm sensing danger - Yeah, no kidding!
You see the black smoke billowing up into his mouth but he's keeping it involved and then
This is fine...
You wanna get that checked out
Huerghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
- Ah! God! *coughing and retching* - And he lets loose this cone of black smoke
which all three of you get caught in
What is that?? My lungs!!
What?! It's in my lungs!
Secondhand smoke! Urghh
Urgh, it's like the plague, it's inside me!
Urghhh! Yuck!
I need all three of you to make constitution saving throws please
Oh my god, my rolling today, 7.
Come on dice *blow* come on mate, come on mate
Wait? Plus 4?
9 + 4
20!!
Nat 20! Natural 20!
Yes, that's a good one
- Yeah! First one, first one - And you got a?
I got 9
And your saving throw? Have you got it?
You got constitution +4, there you go
Yeah
Constitution I've got nothing so
I've got 9 + 4
Can I? I'm gonna re-roll
9 + 4 = 13
- I'm gonna use one of my lucky - You're gonna use your lucky
I'm gonna use a lucky
Probably a good time to use it
10 + 4 = 14
14, alright
You needed...
- Should have rolled a natural 20 like me bro - So what did you get?
I should've...
I got 13 total
13 total, 14 total
Rolled natural 20
You all succeed on the save so you
only take half the damage Nice one Ben!
Did you get a natural 20?
I did
Nice one bro
Thanks
Tell us about your natural 20 bro
You only take half of this
*Oodles of dice being shaken*
What?! There's a lot of dice in there!!!
Rob!
Yeah! You're attacking a 6 ft wolf! That's the alpha...
- We didn't attack him! - We tried not to!
I tried to be diplo- I asked him his name
You can't kill us straight away!
I can.
Don't tell me what I can't do
*evil laugh*
- And a meteor comes down and flattens everybody - We've got all of these cameras
set up, you can't kill us like in an hour!
- That is, that is, that is... - Oh well, that's the end then
Half of that, round up, is... 11 points of damage,
necrotic damage to each of you
But I don't have, that's over half
Yep
11 points of necrotic damage, as this smoke billows over you, you get a first-hand experience
of why he's named Wither because your skin starts to go gaunt,
you feel like your life's being drained out of you.
You feel like you're ageing and you feel a lot less exuberant
- Great. - Off in the distance--
Bob in particular feels a lot less exuberant
Off in the distance you guys just hear a very faint voice going:
How's it going guys?
How are things going?
And you hear a very loud voice going: Go f*** yourself mate. Jesus, that's not helpful.
So, 11 points of damage but it's necrotic damage, does it have more to it?
No, it just means that for purposes of like, sometimes you're resistant against certain types of damage,
this one's necrotic
Am I resistant to necrotic damage?
No, no, strangely, strangely not
Dammit.
Do you ask this as you're being like--
Yeah
AM I RESistant...
I'm definitely withering...
He lets loose this thing, then he goes FEAST!
And then he steps back towards the forest
God dammit
And the wolves are *grrrrrrr*
Hey Wither, hey Wither...
Alright, Bodger
Go f*** yourself
Bodger, you're up
Bodger!
Right.
Alright
Alright!
Right-aaa
f*** me
Ookaaay, you have made the biggest mistake of your life
So, here's what's going to happen
Okaaay
Right
- I'm gonna get there, just making my mind up - Okaay
So...okay...
I... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna--
Attack something!
- What have I got? - I try diplomacy
I've got, I've got a, I'm gonna throw a javelin
Okay, I mean you've got movement, you can move up to him if you want
Ah screw it,
He's backing away
I reckon we need--
He's backing away
We need to get rid of the smaller guys
Yeah, let's pick something we can actually maybe, potentially defeat
What if it's like, what if we finish off the big--
He just told us to
Ah yeah, I mean true, but the amount of XP, HP he's got
He's backing away
He's backing away?
I reckon we don't engage him
He just shouted feast and the other wolves around you are getting ready to feast
Yeah right, but I'm just wondering, you know how sometimes you take off the--
He doesn't have 1 HP
Maybe we... maybe we set out...
Look, if they want a feast, we can set out a banquet
- How many rations has everybody-- - Look they're some lovely huts
You got some rations?
Yeah, we can go and forage in the forest and come up with some nice-
What's everybody's survival skills?
Is there any way to know, an idea of how much HP he's got?
Umm, let's make, alright, make a survival check
2
2. You've never hunted something of this size, and you have no idea
Could be-- I just imagine Bodger taking a look at him going
Nope, no idea
- I reckon he's, he's no... - Real close
As he's withering away from this black necrotic smoke
He's being surrounded by, like all these wolves are about to attack and he's like "ahhh!*
Yeah, what do you, I mean yeah he's big but how big do you think he really is?
Right! I'm moving over here and I'm gonna smash this guy in the face with my hammer
Right, I think we should go for the big wolf first
Bodger, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life
Yeah, you idiot
What are you thinking??
Well y'know I figured he seems to be the one that has control over all the other wolves
Y'know
Attack the small ones!
-Yeah, don't attack a giant wolf - You kidding me?
with black smoke pouring out its mouth
- What are--? - You fool.
I...alr...
Alright, right, alright
Fine!
Alright, good luck!
Okay, here we go
5
Oh wow.
- 5 plus your--strength? - Bodger, you...
Plus your modifier, attack modifier...
Errrr - Next to great axe there
Oh great axe cos it's great axe. Plus 5?
Plus 5, so 10 total?
10 total
10 total is not quite enough to hit, they're seemingly fairly agile
and as you strike down with your great axe the wolf *yelp* dodges to the side and it embeds into the floor
Hey, what's the 1d12 + 3?
That's if you hit, that's how much damage you'd do
Oh yeah yeah yeah
Alright, so you attacked, you're not high enough level to get two attacks per round yet
but you can rage if you want
I'm gonna, I'm gonna rage
Raging allows you to--
HELELELELELELELELELE!!
HELELELELELELELE...
HELELELELELE
HELELE
HELE
HELELE
HELE
HELELELELE
My hair goes yellow, like Super Saiyan
That's what happens when I rage!
My hair goes yellow
I look forward to filming that
Yeah, I was gonna say, have we got the budget for that?
It's happening. My hair goes yellow!
Here's another png image of Rowan's hair
HELELELELE HE HELE HELELELELELELELELELE
DBZ hair on the top
Ok, so with that I'm gonna have another attack
Alright, no. No nope
Not how that works
Maybe, when you get to level 3, that's a thing you can do
Um, but no, you're just raging which means that you have, you only half the damage coming in to you
so if they bite you you'll only take half the damage
What if the, I've forgotten what the downside of rage is, there is a downside
You get a, well no, there's no downside other than you're just using a resource up
Oh, ok, sweet
There's a downside to frenzied rage
That's, frenzied rage, yep that's the one.
Alright, Bob, you're up
Right. Fuck. Um.
Right, I guess I turn around and I attack this bastard here
Alright
*Deep breath* come on dice, don't fail me now
16. Hmmm, yeah...
16 plus stuff will definitely hit
Plus 5
Yep 21 to hit, that hits
- So roll the damage - Yeah boi!
What are you attacking with? Your rapier?
Uh, my shortsword
Shortsword, alright
So that's a d6, d6 + 3
Come on mate come on mate come on mate
6, get a 6
1! f*** yes!
Here I am, Bartholomew Osiris Bladesong master bladesmith comin' to attack ya
very gently
Just gonna slice a bit of fur off the top there,
just like that, little bit off the sides, like that
- Give him a proper haircut - Just expose the neck
Expose the neck
I'm gonna kill you real slow
The wolf comes up, grrrrr *pitiful whining*
I give him a wee scratch
Give him a scratchy scratch
I give him a very firm scratch
and just slightly scratch him with my nails
*whining*
Yeah, you like that?
Alright, that is, ok, so 4 damage to that wolf.
God dammit
Can you attack with your off-hand?
- Oh yeah, I've got two hands - Yes you can, because it's a light weapon
you can pull your dagger out with the other hand
Yeah, I do that!
I do that
HAHA! I tricked ya!
Just you wait mate, I'm telling ya, it's coming
Do I need to attack again?
Yep, you need to attack again
Like with the d20?
Oh f***
Still need to see if you hit
Oh, it's cocked
It's cocked, it's cocked
That was definitely not a 1 That was definitely cocked
That was definitely not a natural 1
That was definitely not a natural 1, there was definitely a slight incline there
that was blocking it from getting a natural 20 so...
I AM ILLUMINATED ON THE TOP OF THE HILL LIKE THE F***ING GOD I AM
I'm out guys - So long! - Like, good luck!
I stabbed him in the guts and spilled his entrails everywhere and I bathed in them
This is reckless, here we go, reckless
pew pew pew!
I am the most powerful sorcerer in the land!!!
So I know what's going to happen next,
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