谢谢 Thank you.
大家好 欢迎来到GT录制现场 Hello, and welcome to The Grand Tour,
本周我们来到了美国的纳什维尔 which this week comes to you from Nashville!
就是这里 There it is.
这里...这里是一座以纳什将军名字命名的城市 It was er... It's a city that was named after General Nash.
伟大的战争英雄 把英国佬赶出美国 Big war hero, kicked the British out.
他还... He got er...
结局就是你们搞独立了 现在看来这有什么卵用啊(讽刺脸) You ended up with independence. And how's that working out for you?
我这么说的原因是 之前我在看 I only ask because we were looking the other day
如今美国销量最好的汽车 at the bestselling cars in America these days.
这里是排名前五的车型 This is the top five.
你们看看吧 这独立搞得...真是太成功了 There you go, that's independence... working well.
1.凯美瑞 2.思域 3.卡罗拉 4.天籁 5.雅阁 丰田 本田 丰田 日产 本田 Toyota, Honda, Toyota, Nissan, Honda.
那么现在底特律到底在生产些什么呢? So what is actually made in Detroit these days, then?
额...大多种植什么可持续生长的有机黄豆吧... Er... Well, mostly they just grow sustainable organic peace beans.
我看的就是一群腋毛浓重的女人在种羽衣甘蓝啊 It's just women with armpit hair growing kale.
现在那嘎达就是这个情况 That's all that's going on there--
地方自治式的社区农场 municipal farms for the community.
但是 我们来到纳什维尔的原因实际上非常简单 Now, the reason we've come to Nashville is very simple, in fact.
因为我去过全美的50个州 It's because I've been to all 50 of the US states,
唯独这里我没来过 but I'd never been here before.
多么美丽的城市啊 And what a town!
没错 Yeah.
-我很喜欢 Love it. -谁能想到 Who knew?
-我们很喜欢这里 We are loving it. -谁能想到这里这么好 Who knew?
这是个非常好的地方 我们很喜欢 It is a great place, we're loving it,
并且这里的音乐非常优秀 and the music is amazing.
我很喜欢...非常喜欢 Loving that... very much.
-未必吧 Not really. -兄弟 你不能... Mate, you can't...
我们都知道这里是美国的音乐之城 This is known as Music City USA.
-音乐就是这个城市的基调 That's what it is. -但是也不是的 对吧 But it isn't, is it?
因为底特律才是 Because Detroit is.
哦 不 听着... Oh, no. Listen... No.
明明就是 It is.
汽车城音乐... 只是三分钟的叮当乱响的杂音 Motown... Motown is just three minutes of jangly nonsense.
-哦 拜托你啊 哈蒙德 Oh, come on, Hammond! -明明就是 It is!
哈蒙德 才不是这样 Hammond, it just isn't!
你可不能这么说啊 You cannot possibly say that.
乡村音乐和西部音乐就是被设计成让你痛苦的啊 Country and western music is designed to make you miserable.
汽车城音乐则是让你开心的啊 Motown is designed to make you happy.
没错 他说的很对 汽车城音乐明显要欢快一些 No, he's absolutely right. Motown is happier music.
咱们就拿Martha Reeves的"Dancing In The Streets"举例子好吧 I mean, take something like Martha Reeves "Dancing In The Streets", OK?
听听那歌词有多么的令人愉快 Listen to how happy the words are.
"男孩子们 抓一个女孩 全世界 无论你在何处" "Every guy, grab a girl, everywhere around the world."
*特朗普2005年侮辱女性录音中有一段中就有'grab'这个词 特朗普在录音中描述了自己试图勾引一名已婚女性的失败经历 这不是特朗普教我们干的事儿么 Isn't that what Donald was telling us to do?
*还表示作为一个明星 可以对女性为所欲为 言语中以 自己能对女性动手动脚引以为傲 特朗普所使用的部分字眼 涉及女性身体甚至隐私部位 明显带有侮辱色彩
这是他自己说的 对吧 他说了 Well, he was, wasn't he? He did. He did.
不 他说的是"兄弟们 接触一个女孩" No, he said, "Every guy, grope a girl."
这可是非常不同的含义啊 A very different thing.
*美国上世纪70年代最受欢迎 也是最有特点的硬摇滚歌手之一 底特律也不仅仅有汽车城音乐 Bob Seger*来自底特律 Detroit isn't just Motown. Bob Seger's from Detroit.
那是给家庭主妇听的音乐 It's just housewives' music.
Ted Nugent
疯子 Mad!
伊基·波普 Iggy Pop.
可笑之极 Ridiculous.
麦当娜 Madonna.
很烦人 Annoying.
埃米纳姆 Eminem.
根本不会唱歌 Can't sing.
Alice Cooper.
也是可笑之极 Ridiculous again.
老鹰乐队的一半 Half of The Eagles.
哪一半 Which half?
格列·弗雷 Glenn Frey.
我不喜欢这一半 I don't like that half.
*童星出道 凭借电视系列剧'汉娜·蒙塔娜'成名 曾承认自己吸毒 并且在个人社交网站自晒裸照 纳什维尔 这里又出了什么名人呢 麦莉·塞勒斯* Nashville. Right, what's come out of here? Miley Cyrus.
这是坠吼滴 Brilliant!
你刚刚在电视上大声说出来了 You just said that out loud on television.
是啊 I did.
还有...还有Allman兄弟 And... And The Allman Brothers.
从来没听说过 Never heard of them.
你听说过 You have.
Allman兄弟 The Allman Brothers,
他们有一首名歌 纯音乐的 they had that one hit, instrumental.
*Jessica这首歌是TopGear的片头曲 -叫什么来着 What was it called? -"Jessica" Jessica.
詹尼佛 Jennifer. *Jessica这首歌是TopGear的片头曲
哦 我不喜欢这首歌 Oh, I hated that. *Jessica这首歌是TopGear的片头曲
哦 我不喜欢这首歌 Oh, I hated that.
你们再也听不到这首歌了 对吧 You never hear it any more, do you?
没错 太烂了 No. Rubbish.
最诡异的事情 Weirdest thing.
太诡异了 Weirdest thing.
*这是档汽车节目 你们三个二货* 太诡异了 Weirdest thing.
-哦 有情况 Oh, hello. -您有一条短信息 A message. *这是档汽车节目 你们三个二货*
哦 不好意思 Oh, sorry. *这是档汽车节目 你们三个二货*
这是威尔曼先生发出来的消息 This is a message from Mr Wilman. *这是档汽车节目 你们三个二货*
我们貌似有些跑题了 We've gone a bit off topic. *这是档汽车节目 你们三个二货*
制片大人可能有些生气 我们的确有点跑题 He might be cross. We have a bit. *这是档汽车节目 你们三个二货*
不过的确有一件关于汽车的事值得说一说 There is a car thing here we ought to talk about. *这是档汽车节目 你们三个二货*
它叫'拉煤车' 你们对这个熟悉吗 It's called coal rolling. Are you familiar with this? *这是档汽车节目 你们三个二货*
它叫'拉煤车' 你们对这个熟悉吗 It's called coal rolling. Are you familiar with this?
它起源于一项运动 就是人们开着自己的皮卡车去田里 It has its origins in a sport where people go with their pickup trucks into a field
看看谁的车能拖动最沉重的物品 and see who can tow the heaviest thing.
-没错 没错 Yep. Oh, yep. -我们这里有一些比赛的视频 We've got some footage here of it happening.
快看啊 那哥们开着他的皮卡车正在拖走更重的物品 Look at that! The man in a pickup truck towing a heavy thing.
成功了 There you go.
这种场合下 你永远听不到这样的台词 Things you will never hear said at that event:
"我得抓紧点了 不然赶不上诗歌朗诵会了" "Got to rush, lads. I'm late for a poetry reading."
*2016年美国大选民主党参选人之一 属于儒雅理智风格的参选人 后来邮件门事件曝光希拉里操纵党团 使其不被党内支持而主动退选 这是三号选手 伯尼·桑德斯* 各位 That's truck number three-- Bernie Sanders, everybody.
无论如何 人们发现车子可以拖动更沉重的物品 Anyway, the thing is, they worked out they could pull more heavy things
调整一下柴油引擎的电脑就可以了 if they fiddled with the ECU on the diesel engines,
因为这样车子会输出更多的马力 because that would generate more power,
并且还有一个副产品 更多的烟雾 and, as a by-product, more smoke,
这也就是叫'拉煤车'的原因 cos that's why it's called coal rolling.
并且现在 很多小孩子开始在公路上这么干 And now, various kids have started to do it out on the highway.
他们的行为基本上就是开车到公路上 What they do is go out on the street
然后在超过一辆丰田普锐斯的时候大喷黑烟 and then do it when they overtake a Toyota Prius.
我们这有一段视频 一起看看 Look at this. Here we go.
哦 上帝啊 真的假的 拜托啊 Oh, for God's sake! Really?! Oh, come on!
真的吗 Really?!
我... Now, I...
真是...我知道我不该这么说 I just... I know, I know I shouldn't say this.
但是每次我要超过一辆普锐斯的时候 But every time I overtake a Prius,
我总会想"我可以用4挡超了它... I always think, "I could do this in fourth...
"但是我偏要用2挡 就是为了让他更闹心一点" "but I'm gonna use second instead to annoy them even more."
你很清楚你已经56岁高龄了吧 You do know you are 56 years old?
-是啊 但是我人老心不老 心理年龄只有9岁 Yeah, but I've got a mental age of nine. -那好吧 Oh, yeah.
-我们赶紧开始今天的节目吧 Shall we get on with the show? -没错 该进入正题了 Yeah, it's time.
在本周的汽车节目中... On with the show. In our car show this week...
船长碾过了一个躺椅 James runs over a sun lounger.
鼹鼠喝了口啤酒 Richard has a beer.
而我则踩上了某样东西 And I go on a thing.
上帝啊 Jesus!
无论如何 在那些内容之前 我们曾经有过一次争辩 Anyway, before all that, we've been having a bit of a debate.
情况是 我说人们现在不用非得买一辆宝马M3 You see, I say you don't need to buy a BMW M3
*按翻译制作时汇率 约合9.2万人民币 因为现在少花1.1万英镑 你可买到捷豹XE S because for £11,000 less you can have a Jaguar XE S,
因为捷豹开起来更轻松 which is nicer to drive,
更舒适 并且还一样的快 more comfortable and just as fast.
-捷豹才没有一样的快呢好么 It isn't just as fast. -明明就是啊 Yes, it is.
-明明就没有 No, it isn't. -两辆车都能跑到250km/h They both do 155mph.
话是没错 但是宝马是被电子限速到250km/h的 Yes, because the BMW has been electronically limited to 155.
而捷豹仅仅剩下了...限速 The Jag is just... limited.
不好意思打断一下 Sorry to interrupt.
我认为我的两位同事都错了 It's just that both my colleagues are wrong.
因为 如果你想要一辆紧凑还够快的四门轿车 Because if you want a small, fast saloon car,
你当然要选择... what you absolutely have to have--
如果你要说什么阿尔法罗密欧Giulia Quadrifoglio If you're gonna start going on about that Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio,
我就拿这支笔捅你的眼珠子 I am gonna stab you in the eye with this pen.
-他说的... No, he's-- -捅很多次 A number of times.
他说的对 阿尔法罗密欧已经有30年没产出什么体面的车了 He's right. Alfa Romeo have not made a decent car for 30 years.
-嗯 Erm... -嗯个屁 "Erm" nothing,
我们要回到最开始的话题上去 because we need to get back to the point.
船长和我认为 是时候解决这场宝马捷豹的辩论纷争了 James and I have decided it was time to sort out this Jaguar-BMW debate
在苏格兰进行一场老式的路上测试 with a proper old-school road test in Scotland.
大家好啊 欢迎来到威尔士 Hello, and welcome to Wales,
在这里 我带着我们所有的摄影团队拍摄这辆车 where I've come with all of our film crews and this,
全新的阿尔法罗密欧 Giulia Qua.... the brand-new Alfa Romeo Giulia... Quadrifoglio.
大概吧 I think.
不要在意细节 Whatever.
咱们赶紧看看这辆车怎么样 Let's get on now and see what's what.
首先 想成为一辆合格的阿尔法罗密欧 Now, for this to be a proper Alfa Romeo,
它必须...必须要有些缺点 there must be... something wrong with it.
仔细想想 Think about it.
一个孝敬母亲 A person who's kind to his mother
出行守时 不饮酒 衣着体面的人 他就是一辆奥迪 and punctual and sober and well-dressed, he's an Audi.
并且没人想要一个这样的朋友 And nobody wants a friend like that.
如果你想同一辆车产生某种关系的话 If you're going to form a relationship with a car,
如果你想和一辆车产生一种联系 if you're gonna develop a bond,
那么车子一定要有一些人类的性格在里面 it's got to have human qualities.
那么如果车子一定有人的某种品格 And if it's gonna have human qualities,
它一定就会有缺陷 it's got to have faults.
那么这辆车 我很高兴的宣布 有个很大的问题 And this car, I'm delighted to say, has a big one.
我不知道他们是怎么处理这里的 I don't know quite how they've managed this,
但是车门真心不太方便进出啊 but it's not very easy to get out of.
这里有B柱 前面还有方向盘 You've got this pillar here, then the wheel here,
这两件物品之间的空间...可不够啊 and there isn't enough of a... of a gap between the two.
等一下 等等 Hang on a minute. Hang on.
这多么有阿尔法罗密欧的风范啊 How Alfa Romeo is that?
他们把车门设计在了错误的位置上 它本应该... They put the door in the wrong place. It should be...
本应该再向后延伸一些的啊 It should be further back.
太特么赞了 That is brilliant.
还没说完呢 There's more, too.
它也不是一辆特别帅气的车 It's not a particularly handsome car.
车轮的尺寸太小 The wheels are too small.
*英国老爷车品牌 早已消失在历史长河之中 并且处于某些原因 他们把车头设计的很像一辆Wolseley And for some reason, they've chosen to make the front look like a Wolseley.
在不久以前的过去 船长说的是很有道理的 Now, in the recent past-- James is quite right--
阿尔法罗密欧的车子有着自身的缺点 并且也没有足够的优点来弥补 Alfas have had their faults and then no good bits to compensate.
车子就是一辆驱动轮装错了的菲亚特 They've just been wrong-wheel-drive Fiats
最后把菲亚特商标给划掉 with the word "Fiat" crossed out
然后用蜡笔写上了阿尔法罗密欧 and "Alfa Romeo" written in in crayon.
不过这辆车... That, though...
...则是一个完全不同的情况 ...that's a very different animal.
这是一辆出色的汽车 史诗般的汽车 This is a fabulous car, an epic car.
大概是因为这辆车是法拉利458的设计师私生子的缘故吧 Probably because it's the love child of the same man who engineered the Ferrari 458.
设计师给了它碳纤维的传动轴 He's given it a carbon-fibre propshaft,
碳纤维的车顶 a carbon-fibre roof,
碳纤维的前盖 a carbon-fibre bonnet,
一个优秀的限滑差速器 a proper limited-slip differential,
心有灵犀的转向系 和一个绝顶聪明的变速箱 telepathic steering and a clever gearbox.
但是这辆车最令人印象深刻的部分 则是那台2.9升涡轮增压V6引擎 But the most impressive bit of this car is its turbocharged 2.9L V6 engine.
一台当你关车门会晃动的引擎 An engine that wobbles when you close the door.
太赞了 看那 That is brilliant. Look at that.
这种事在奥迪车上可见不到啊 对吧 You don't get that sort of thing from an Audi, do you?
法拉利 很显然 也是阿尔法罗密欧母公司的一份子 Ferrari, which, of course, is part of the same company as Alfa Romeo,
他们非常急迫的指出 is very keen to point out
这辆车采用的引擎才不是法拉利California上那台引擎去掉两个缸呢哼 that this is not the engine they use in the California with two cylinders removed.
他们说这是一个完完全全的巧合 They say it's a complete coincidence
两台引擎采用了相同的缸径 冲程以及气缸夹角 that both engines have the same bore/stroke and V-angle.
法拉利简称这是阿尔法罗密欧自己的设计产物 They're adamant that this is all Alfa Romeo's own work.
所以 就是这样了 So, there we are.
那就当它是不同的吧 It is, then.
那是多么出色的作品啊 And what work it is.
它拥有503匹马力 You get 503 brake horsepower.
这要比宝马M3多上60匹 60匹啊 That is 60 more than you get from a BMW M3. 60!
要比捷豹多上175匹马力 It's 175 more than you get from that Jag
那辆船长现在正慢吞吞驾驶的那辆捷豹 that James would be droning on about now,
我和阿尔法的介入拯救了世界啊 had I not stepped in and saved the day.
并且引擎转速上扬的方式也很特别 And then there's the way it revs.
大多数涡轮增压引擎在转速区间末端的时候都会有些气喘 Most turbocharged engines are a bit wheezy at the top end,
但是因为这台V6引擎采用的是双涡流技术的涡轮增压器 but because the twin-scroll turbo in this is mounted in the V of the engine...
...跟法拉利California一样 ...just like it is in a Ferrari California,
很巧合 coincidentally,
转速表依旧可以像一道闪电一样划过红区 the rev counter is still a blur right up to the red zone.
这台引擎... This engine is...
...简直就是杰作啊 ...it's a masterpiece.
绝对的宝石啊 An absolute gem.
所以 尽管这辆车看上去像一台老爷车 So, while this may look like a Wolseley,
但是它跑起来绝对不像老爷车 it certainly doesn't go like one.
它的最高时速 实际上 有307km/h It has a top speed, in fact, of 191mph.
这辆车实际上就是 What this car is
一台法拉利... is a Ferrari...
...穿着四门轿车的外套 ...wearing four-door sensi-panties.
而这也就把话题引到了这辆车最棒的部分 And that brings me onto this car's party piece.
在正常车速之下 它非常的安静 非常的文明 At normal speeds, it's very quiet and very civilised.
尽管它的车轮小的像 And even though it's running on wheels
从沙发上掉下来的轮子一样 that appear to have come off the bottom of a sofa,
它依旧很舒适 it's very comfortable,
即便你按下了这个键 悬挂的"颠簸模式" even if you push this, you put it in bumpy-suspension mode.
我唯一没用尝试过的模式就是"赛道模式" The only setting I haven't yet tried is this one--"race".
但是我认为该试一下 But I think I should.
很不幸 在我找到一个地方一展身手之前 Sadly, however, before I found somewhere to try it out,
我接到了一通电话 I received a telephone call.
哦 不 咋了 Oh, no. What?
-是鼹鼠 Hammond. -你是不是把我们摄影团队给带走了 Have you got our film crew somewhere?
-是啊 Yes, I have. -你是不是出去拍阿尔法罗密欧了 Are you using them to film an Alfa?
-没错 Yes, I am. -你人在哪里 Where are you?
-威尔士 Wales. -威尔士?! Wales?!
你不能安排我们俩去苏格兰 然后自己跑到威尔士去啊 You can't just arrange that we go to Scotland and then disappear off to Wales.
我可没安排你们去苏格兰 I didn't tell you to go to Scotland.
你们俩自己决定去苏格兰的 You decided to go to Scotland on your own.
我们开着两辆车这么远一路赶到苏格兰 We've come all the way to Scotland to do this with these two cars.
这两辆车才是测试的主角 你这是抢戏啊... This is the test. You trying to shoehorn...
阿尔法罗密欧的确使世界更美好了 It's wonderful there are Alfa Romeos in the world.
这世界还有很多很美好的东西... That's a lovely thing that we can all...
这跟你认为阿尔法罗密欧有多好没关系 It doesn't matter how good you think the Alfa Romeo is.
我们这可是个汽车节目啊 This is a car programme.
概念 梦想 想象力 这些 Concepts, dreams, imagining things.
...去苏格兰 开着两辆可靠 重要 并且还很真实存在的车 ...Scotland, with two cars that are credible, relevant, important, work and are real.
就在我带着全部摄影团队到达赛道的时候 俩人依旧在我耳边叫嚣 They were still shouting at me as I arrived with all of the film crews at our track.
...你这是打算重写过去十年的历史么 ...itch, that you've managed to scratch over the last ten years.
我也不清楚 为什么... I don't know how. Why...
我这信号不好 It's breaking up!
哦 断线了 Oh, I've lost you!
赛道模式 Race mode.
出发咯 Here we go.
在赛道模式下 所有的设定都变得紧张起来 In race mode, everything is in a tensed-up state:
油门反馈 变速箱 转向系 the throttle response, the gearbox, the steering.
并且牵引力控制也被关掉了 And the traction control is off!
这也使得它从一辆绝妙的汽车变成了... This has now been transformed from something that was brilliant...
...一件电光火石间令人感动的艺术品 into something that is sensational.
当然 你日常生活肯定是不会用赛道模式了 Of course, you'd never drive in race mode on the road,
就像是你手上的昂贵手表永远不会像广告上那样进入太空 in the same way you'd never take your wristwatch into space.
但是 心里清楚它能够上太空 也是一件很开心的事啊 But it's nice to know that it would still work if you did.
这辆车就是这样 And this does.
哦 上帝啊 真的是这样 Oh, boy, this does.
我一直都在说 一个人在没有拥有过一辆阿尔法罗密欧之前 I've always said you can't be a true petrolhead
是算不上一个合格车迷的 until you've owned an Alfa Romeo.
而问题是 我也一直清楚 And the trouble is, I've always known
现在市面上的阿尔法 也没有能够让真正车迷下手去买的 there's no Alfa Romeo a true petrolhead would actually want to buy.
但是现在有了 There is now, though.
现在就有了 Oh, there is now.
所以我决定做一件我有生以来 And so I decided to do something I've never done
测评汽车从来没做过的一件事 with any car I've ever filmed in my entire life.
我决定 当测评拍摄结束之后 去最近的阿尔法罗密欧经销商那里 I decided, when the test was over, to go to the nearest Alfa Romeo dealer...
...自己买一辆 ...and buy one.
-咋了 What? -你个大混蛋 You total cock.
你偷走了我们俩的摄影机会 You stole our film.
也不完全是 Well, not really.
你没有真的买一辆吧 对吧 You didn't actually buy one, did you?
额 没有 因为我真的在它和4C之间拿不定主意 Well, no, cos I couldn't make my mind up between that and the 4C.
感觉就像是目睹一只猩猩返回自己的笼子 It was like watching an ape return to its cage
发现里面有一个苹果和一个香蕉 and finding there was an apple and a banana.
"哦 我喜欢苹果 但是我也很喜欢香蕉 "Oh, I like apple, but I like bananas.
那么这两个我选哪个好呢?" So do I want the apple or a banana?"
你可以两个都要 很明显的道理 You would have had both, obviously.
*按翻译制作时汇率 约合50.2万人民币 哈蒙德 那辆车很优秀 并且只要六万块 Hammond, that car is brilliant, and it only costs £60,000.
没错 但是说真的 杰里米 这毫无意义啊 Yeah, but honestly, Jeremy, that doesn't mean anything.
如果阿尔法罗密欧做了一款狗屎 你也会说它很赞的啊 If Alfa Romeo launched a dog turd, you'd say it was brilliant.
车子真的很好 我没有瞎编 It is! I'm not making it up!
你们也听见我说 也看见了 那是辆很出色的车 You heard it. You saw it. It's a fantastic car.
无论如何 我们要看看这辆阿尔法罗密欧Q什么的东西 在埃博拉机库能跑多快 Anyway, listen, we must find out how fast the Quadri-thingy goes round the Eboladrome.
这也就意味着 要把它交给 That, of course, means handing it over
一个认为网球都是被斯大林发明出来的男人 to a man who thinks that tennis is something that was invented by Stalin.
他这周实际上算是当地人了 只不过是来自别的州而已 He's actually a local boy this week, from the next state along.
他就是老美 It's the American!
他在那里 There he is.
就连老美也会享受这辆出色的汽车 And even he will enjoy this magnificent machine,
我很确定 I'm sure of that.
他出发了 车子绝佳的V6引擎发出优美的爆炸声 And he's off with a glorious bark and a pop from that sensational V6.
哦 地面很湿滑 Oh, it's wet!
好的 这是阿尔法罗密哟 朱什么鬼的 OK. Alfa Romeo Julie Quad Bike something or another.
我念不出来 实在不会发音 I can't say it, can't pronounce it.
我真的不太喜欢驾驶这车 I don't really like driving it.
哦 我的上帝啊 拜托大哥 Oh, for God's sake!
也就是说 傻大个认为这是一辆好车 So, the tall one thinks this is a good car.
我依旧认为他小时候可能把脑子磕坏了 I still think he was dropped on his head as a child.
是啊 磕了脑子的我起码不会戴牛仔帽出席婚礼 Yeah, but at least I don't wear a cowboy hat to weddings.
好的 车子飞一般的进入了你来定弯道 Right, now, powering majestically into Your Name Here.
这可能是我们看过最好的一圈了 This could be the single greatest lap we'll ever see.
你在胡说些什么啊 What are you on about?
车子完美的平衡 大力踩下油门 It's beautifully balanced, hard on the power.
那里有些扭动 有些转向过度 但是它就是被设计用来做这个的 A bit of a wobble there! Some oversteer, but it was designed to do that.
才不是呢 No, it wasn't!
别瞎插话 哈蒙德 Stop saying things, Hammond.
我很忙 I'm busy.
这就是给那些喜欢花俏咖啡的人们准备的宝马车 This is just a BMW for people who like fancy coffee.
不 这是给那些有品位有眼光的人准备的宝马车 No, it's a BMW for people with taste and discernment.
不 这是给蠢货的宝马车 No, it's a BMW for idiots.
哈蒙德 闭嘴 Hammond, be quiet!
看看他通过老太太房的方式啊 Look at the way it's dealing with Old Lady's House.
几乎毫无破绽 Almost no problems at all.
现在他可以在死亡变电站前进行冲刺了 Now he can really turn it up for the sprint to Substation.
多棒的动力 多棒的血统啊 Such power! Such pedigree!
-多么蠢的车啊 Such bollocks. -你给我安静一点 Just be quiet!
只剩下两个弯道了 Just two corners left.
通过弯道的姿态非常高贵 Glorious poise in the rain through there.
马上是羊圈弯 Field Of Sheep.
又是一次大师级的悬挂控制 Another master class in suspension control.
之后就冲线了 And across the line!
-那么 赶紧吧 Well, come on, then. -不... Well, no...
快点 它跑了多快 Come on. What did it do?
-啥 What? -时间多少 Time.
不 因为赛道很滑 所以公布成绩毫无意义 No, it was wet, so there's no point putting it on the board.
挂上去就是对电脑毫无意义的损耗 It'll just wear the computer out for no reason.
赶紧老实交代 Get on with it!
-我们没有这个时间了 We haven't got time! -赶紧交代 Get on with it!
你不干我来 咱们把成绩打出来 I'm gonna do it. Let's look at the time.
杰里米的阿尔法罗密欧Q啥的 Time for Jeremy's Alfa Quadriplogio.
这可不算快啊兄弟 不好意思 That's not quick, mate! I'm sorry.
垃圾啊 That's rubbish!
在干燥的地面上 它能跑1分15呢 In the dry, it would have done a 1:15.
-才不会呢哼 No, it wouldn't. -一定会的 Yes, it would.
-才不会 No, it wouldn't. -就会 It would!
现在怎么吵都没有意义了 There's no point arguing anyway.
让他赶紧把阿尔法罗密欧这事代谢掉 He's got the Alfa Romeo thing out of his system,
也是件好事 因为现在是时候 which is good, because it's time now
让我们享受一下阳光 漫步在阳光照射的'坎大街'上了 for us to enjoy a gentle stroll along the sunlit sidewalks of Conversation Street.
最萌身高差
-这个还不错 That's a good one. -我喜欢这个片子 I like that one.
是啊 现在... It is. Right, now...
我们先用这个开始 这是全新的阿尔法罗密欧Stelvio OK. And we start with this. It's the new Alfa Romeo Stelvio.
-我的上帝啊 For God's sake! -这可是很重要的新闻呢 This is important news.
这才不是很重要的新闻 这就是给傻子准备的小道消息 It's not important news. It's niche news for morons.
才不是 多好的车啊 It's not! It's a superb car,
因为这辆车上你也可以搭载之前Quadriplegio所搭载的 because you can have it with the same 500 horsepower engine
相同的500匹马力引擎啊 that you get in the Quadriplegio.
并且 那辆车上还配有四轮驱动 And with that... with that you get four-wheel-drive.
也就是说 这辆车在潮湿路面可以跑快一点了是么 So that one will work in the wet, will it?
哈蒙德 当有人家里生了孩子 Hammond, when somebody has a baby,
你可不会跑到人家那里说... OK, do you go up to it and...
"看我家的宝贝啊... "Oh, look at my new baby that I've...
啊啊啊 这孩子真特么丑" Eurgh! It's really ugly!"
要是真丑的话也没啥问题啊 Well, only if it's ugly.
问题就是这样 你不能对阿尔法罗密欧太苛刻 You see, you can't be cruel about Alfa Romeos.
-我可以 Yes, I can. -你知道人家有多努力么~ They're trying so hard!
好吧 咱们继续 忘了阿尔法那些事 Well, let's just move it on. Forget the Alfa, then.
现在 我们应该谈谈我们所在的地方 Now, we should talk about where we are,
好吧 田纳西 因为这里销量最好的汽车是它 OK, Tennessee, because this is the bestselling vehicle in the state.
好吧 OK.
我们这里还有一张警车版本的照片 Yeah, we've got a picture of the police car.
还有救护车 And an ambulance.
-还有灵车 And a hearse. -没错 Yeah.
我发现车子不同的'主题'了 I'm detecting... detecting a theme here.
皮卡车 我认为是这样 在美国这边非常的受欢迎 对吧 The pickup truck, I think I'm right, is very popular in this neck of the woods, yes?
我很确定你们应该会很惊讶 这辆车在英国不是那么的受欢迎 I'm sure you may be amazed to hear they really haven't caught on at all in the UK.
具体来说 几乎没人买 I mean, almost nobody has one.
几乎看不到 说来也可惜 因为我很喜欢皮卡车 You hardly see them, which is a shame, because I love a pickup truck.
-是啊 我们都知道 Yeah, we know. -我很喜欢皮卡车 I like a truck.
都知道的吧 You know?
我就在这里表达爱意了 I can say that here. I can say that here.
你喜欢这没什么大问题 但是皮卡车可不太实用啊 That's fine, you can say that, but they're not actually very sensible.
你看 兄弟 不能什么都占啊 Look, mate, that's not everything.
你看 你出门开着你的法拉利 Anyway, you drive around in your Ferrari, OK,
你很乐意为此做出一些牺牲啊 对吧 and happily put up with the compromises that that imposes.
你把花销问题 行驶不方便 So you put up with the cost, the inconvenience,
坐着不舒服都克服掉了 只因为法拉利是辆很快的车 and it's not very comfortable because it's a fast car.
我喜欢皮卡也是一个道理 总是要有些牺牲和将就 Same with a pickup. You put up with compromises:
车子很重 很大 很费油 the weight, the size, the fuel consumption...
那你看上皮卡什么好处了呢 But what's the upside?
那可是皮卡车啊 你可用它... It's a pickup truck! You can use it...
伐一些木材 或者直接拉着树走 You can put logs in it and tow... tow trees out of the woods with it.
你都可以在车上装一头熊呢 You could put a bear in it.
哈蒙德 你的工作 你可是从事媒体行业的啊 Hammond, you work... you work in the media!
你能放进后备箱的东西 撑死也就是各种晚会的邀请函啊 The only thing you have to put in the back of a vehicle are invitations to gala lunches.
-这个... Well... -你一直都是这么干的啊 That's all you ever do.
实际上 皮卡的问题在于 我不想这么说 The problem, actually, in Britain with a pickup truck-- I'm sorry to admit this--
在于 当你在车后装了什么水泥搅拌设备或者电锯之类的 is that if you pulled up at a set of traffic lights and you had your cement mixer
等红绿灯的时候 and your chainsaw in the back,
那些东西肯定会被偷 马上被偷 they would be stolen immediately.
在英国 任何敞开放置的东西 都像是派对上的坚果 过年的瓜子一样 爷请自便 Anything left in the open in Britain, it's like nuts at a party, you just help yourself.
为啥美国没有这种事呢 So why doesn't that happen here?
这里有谁拥有皮卡车 Who's got a pickup truck here?
我的天 难以置信 Holy cow! That's unbelievable.
当你们采购结束之后 东西放在后面 When you go shopping and put things in the back,
为什么没人去后面偷东西呢 why doesn't someone just help themselves?
因为这里的人民是会开枪的啊 Because they shoot them here.
这个说的有道理 Well, there is that.
说的有道理 谢谢啊 特朗普总统 There is that. Thank you, Donald!
但是为什么...你们等红灯的时候就一件东西都没丢么 But why... Have you ever had anything stolen when you were at a red light?
从来没有? 有没有人丢过东西? Never? Has anyone ever had anything...?
-没有 No. -没有? No?
我还以为美国这边各种犯罪横行呢 I thought this was supposed to be crime-ridden in America.
也许是因为人们比较诚实 我也不清楚 有可能 Maybe people are honest. I don't know, it's possible.
如果我在英国 看见一辆皮卡后面放个除草机 If I was in Britain and saw a pickup truck with a lawnmower,
"老子要了" "I'll have that."
昨天 我们三个去了...一个比较大的老爷车博物馆 Now, yesterday we went to erm... It was like a big classic-car museum,
就在城外不远 在那里你也可以购买那些展品 just out of town here, where you could also buy the exhibits.
-很有趣 It's great fun. -我们那一天都很有趣 It was a fantastic day out.
真的很享受在那里的时光 Really enjoyed ourselves in there.
我想说的是 那里充满了 你也知道 野马 卡玛洛这类的车 I mean, it was full of, you know, Mustangs and Camaros and stuff.
就像这样的车 我们这里有图片 六七十年代的老爷车 Stuff like this. We've got a picture of this sort of thing-- '60s and '70s stuff.
活在现在 我们都知道这些车出了名的难开 Now, we know that cars like this are horrible to drive.
很糟糕 Terrible.
但是看上去颜值爆表啊 But they're tremendous to look at.
过去的汽车外形设计是那么的富有乐趣 你看看那辆车就懂了 There was so much joy in car design back then, and you see it in that car there.
说实话 这让我有些轻微的感伤 It actually made us slightly sad in a way, though,
因为就在我们离开展会之后 我们突然开始想 because as we were leaving, we suddenly started wondering,
"40年之后我们该往博物馆里面放些什么车啊" "Well, what are they gonna put in that museum in 40 years' time?"
-是啊 Yeah. -放什么 What?
*也有叫ESQ的 日产-TMD-Juke The Nissan-bloody-Juke.
没错 Exactly.
那破车我现在都不想看见 I don't want to look at that now.
说的是啊 或者是道奇的Dart No, exactly. Or the Dodge Dart.
若干年后 孩子会说"嘿 粑粑" Well, what child's gonna say, "Oh, Daddy!
我们去博物馆看看40年前的老道奇Dart吧" Daddy, let's go and look at the 40-year-old Dart in the museum"?
没人会想看啊 Nobody is!
不过最近汽车行业外形设计趋于平淡倒是事实 It's true that car design has become so dreary lately.
而我认为部分原因 And I think part of it,
是因为负责汽车外形设计的人 不再像过去那代人一样热爱汽车了 it's almost as if the people who design cars don't actually like cars that much.
没错 过去的车 很明显的不同 Exactly. But they did then. You can tell.
当时有一辆Cuda和一辆普利茅斯Fury并排停在一起 There was a Cuda in there next to a Plymouth Fury,
我就在那里直直的站了一个小时啊 就是看着它们而已 and I just stood for about an hour, just soaking them in.
我看到了一辆66年的凯迪拉克 I saw a 1966 Cadillac.
我们这里有张照片 看啊 We've got a picture of it here. Look.
而我喜欢它的地方在于 那个负责设计前盖的哥们 Now, what I like about this is that the bloke who designed the bonnet,
他想"我做完了前盖 那我就顺手把格栅也做了吧" he thought, "I've finished with the bonnet. I'll do the grill."
但是他却没告诉那个负责翼子板的哥们 But he didn't tell the blokes doing the wings,
于是翼子板就继续向前伸 多出来30厘米 and they kept going, so it goes like another foot.
但是这的的确确是一辆非常好看的车子啊 No, but this is fantastic with a fantastic-looking car.
别克Riviera 我这里有张照片 The Buick Riviera, they had one of those in there.
-看看啊 Look at that! -太漂亮了有没有 That is glorious!
我小时候有一辆这个车的玩具 I had one of those as a toy when I was little.
如果把手指放在后窗上 玩具车就会闪烁前灯 If you put your finger over the back window, it flashed its lights.
你看着这辆老爷车就会想 And you just look and you go,
"别克在这三四十年中是如何 "How can Buick have gone from doing that
"堕落到做出这种棕色的东西出来的啊" 那边有照片 in, what, 30-40 years, to doing this, whatever this brown..." Look at...
他们是怎么做到的啊 How have they done that?!
同样的事情雪佛兰也有 And it's the same as Chevrolet.
展会上有一辆1960年的Impala There was an Impala in there, 1960.
看看它 车子不动都那么令人激动 Look at that! That is exciting not moving!
这是六十年代的Impala That's a Chevy Impala from the '60s.
咱们看看现代版本的 Let's have a look at one from today.
我的上帝老天爷啊 Oh, for God's sake!
他们怎么有胆量叫这辆车Impala这个名字的啊 How do they even have the nerve to call that an Impala?
这根本就不是Impala的基因啊 Because it isn't one.
我则是看了一辆克尔维特 七十年代的 I was looking at a Corvette, a '70s Corvette.
应该是C3的款式吧 That's the C3 model,
如果你是个克尔维特粉丝的话就明白了 if you're a Corvette nerd.
这辆车被所有的美国航天员都驾驶过 This was a car that was driven by all of the astronauts.
*大炮王迪哥... -没错 Exactly. -还有Dirk Diggler* And Dirk Diggler.
没错 Yep.
所以这辆车是宇航员和毛片演员的选择 Ah, so it's a car for porn stars and astronauts.
好棒的搭配啊 What a strapline!
现在有哪款车可以让宇航员和毛片演员同时相中啊 What car is there today that could be driven by porn stars and astronauts?
根本没有 There isn't one.
【观众】阿尔法 An Alfa!
阿尔法?! An Alfa?!
实际上 他没说错 Actually, he's right!
宇航员的确需要代步汽车 No, astronauts have to get there.
他说对了 这个答案就是阿尔法罗密欧Q什么的那个 He's right! That's exactly -what the Quadriplegio is!
不是 No!
毛片影星和宇航员的选择 也就是我了 For porn stars and astronauts, which is what I am.
现在 我想谈谈纽伯格林北环 Now, I would like to have a conversation about the Nürburgring.
-你继续 Go on. -因为这很重要 Because this is important.
去年 我还挺高兴的 Last year, I was delighted.
因为负责运营纽博格林的德国人说 The people who run the Nürburgring in Germany,
我们今年将要禁止车厂在这里做所谓的圈速 they said they were gonna ban car manufacturers from setting lap records there.
对不起 请问这有什么值得高兴的 Sorry, why were you delighted about that?
因为这个想法很棒啊 Because that's an excellent idea.
如果你制造了一辆在纽博格林北环跑的很快的汽车 If you make a car that is excellent for doing a fast lap of the Nürburgring,
那么这辆车一定在生活的其他地点一无是处 it would be useless as a car everywhere else in your life.
就好比...好比把你的房子装修成激光射击游戏场 It's like... It's like setting your house up to play Laser Quest.
它用来玩游戏一定很棒 It will be brilliant for playing Laser Quest,
但是这房子用来开晚宴一定很糟糕 but it'll be rubbish for a dinner party
因为到处都是激光 黑暗暗的 到处都是烟雾和音乐 because it's full of lasers, darkness, fog and music that goes...
人们在房子里跑来跑去的还以为乱入了星球大战呢 ...and people running around thinking that they're in Star Wars.
再比如说养条狗 Or you could get a dog...
你可以把你的狗训练成攻击犬 如果你有一家废品堆放场一定会很棒 You could train a dog as an attack dog, which is fantastic if you own a scrapyard
因为你需要这条狗看家护院 and you need the dog to guard it,
但是作为家养宠物 它会活吃了你家孩子的啊 but take it home as a pet, it will eat your children.
彻彻底底的没用啊 It's completely useless.
这就是根据纽博格林赛道设计汽车的下场 That's what happens when you set a car up for the Nürburgring.
你这可算不上坎大街啊 船长 This isn't really a conversation, James.
是啊 也许我们这周停车搞错了 停在了咆哮街上 No, I think we've accidentally turned down Rant Lane this week.
我还没说完呢 Well, there's more.
-他又出发了 He's off again. -不不 还没完 No, no.
关键在于 坏消息是 赛道管理方现在决定 But the thing is, the bad news in all this is that they've decided
他们现在又决定允许厂商在这里做圈速成绩了 that they will allow car manufacturers to set lap records again.
额 这不挺好么 Well, that's good.
-不 这糟透了 No, it's bad! -好吧 OK.
想想我们最近试驾过的那些新出的车 Think of the cars that have come out recently that we've driven
它们被特意开发成在纽伯格林北环跑得快的状态 that have been developed so that they would go fast around the Nürburgring.
宝马 M4 GTS 你也承认 绝对的糟糕 BMW M4 GTS, you can't deny it, it's a terrible car.
日产GTR 赛道版本 也是辆糟糕的车 Nissan GT-R, the Track Edition, that is a terrible car.
甚至西雅特--西雅特的Leon Cupra 280 Even SEAT-- the SEAT Leon Cupra 280,
它们甚至给小钢炮在纽伯格林北环也搞了个记录榜 that's got a hatchback record for going around the Nürburgring,
简直太糟了 and it's rubbish!
纽博格林在毁掉汽车们啊 The Nürburgring ruins cars.
我打算开发一个App名叫"轰炸纽伯格林北环" I'm developing an app for the smart phone called Bomb The Nürburgring
你可以驾驶Dornier 17轰炸机飞到那里 然后炸个精光 where you guide a Dornier 17 over it and blow it up.
你在我们这个节目上做什么 What are you doing on this programme?
讲道理啊 Talking sense!
问得好 我也糊涂了 Good question. I don't know.
在英国 我们有个老太太主持一档烘焙节目 We have this old woman who has a baking show in Britain.
她名叫Mary Berry She's called Mary Berry.
情况是...你们大概也认识她 It would be... You probably know her.
现在情况基本上相当于她在说"我恨蛋糕" It's probably the same as her saying, "I hate cakes!"
没错 Yes.
Mary Berry也会同意我 因为如果她做了一块蛋糕 Mary Berry would agree with me, because if she made a cake
送到纽伯格林北环调教 that had been developed on the Nürburgring,
有人突然在上面放一层炸洋葱 彻底毁了它 someone would put fried onions on the top and completely ruin it.
一块好好的果酱夹层蛋糕 突然上面放一层洋葱 You'd have a Victoria sponge with onion on the top for no reason!
詹姆斯 你知道你很奇怪吧 James, you know you're weird, don't you?
这才不奇怪呢 That's not weird.
这是这节目上讨论过最正经的话题了好么 That's the most sensible thing that's ever been said on this show.
-你好奇怪 You are weird. -我才不奇怪呢 I'm not weird.
他就是很奇怪 我们前几天在机场的时候 He is weird! We were coming through the airport
从芝加哥那边过来 here the other day, coming through Chicago,
他跟我说"杰里米 闻闻我的夹克衫" and he went, "Jeremy, smell my jacket."
他说什么?! He said what?!
-我真这么说的 Yeah. -他就是这么说的 He did.
他跟我说"闻闻我的夹克衫" 我说"为什么" He said, "Smell my jacket." I said, "Why?"
他说"我的夹克闻着像一台老唱机" He said, "Because it smells of old record players."
-兄弟 你挺奇怪的 Mate, that is weird. -但事实就是这样啊 But it did!
你知道老唱机什么味道都没有吧 You know record players don't smell of anything?
有的 老一些的唱机是有的 They do. Old ones do.
老唱机的味道 They smell of old record players.
有没有人知道那是股什么味儿 Who knows what they smell like?
-我希望我们... I'd like us-- -就是一种腐蚀.... The decaying...
我希望我们赶紧继续节目 因为现在话题变得有些诡异了 I'd like us to move it on because it's getting scary now.
你那才不是唱机呢好么 That's not the record player!
你在胡说些什么呢 What are you on about?
现场有没有人拥有老唱机 或者任何老电子物品 Does anybody have an old record player, or anything old electrical?
它们是有味道的 对吧 They smell, don't they?
有没有人闻过老唱机的? Has anybody ever smelled an old record player?
真的 你闻过? Really? You think you have?
你闻过一台... You've smelled an old...
我的老天 God, strewth!
你的老唱机上有没有蜡筒? Did it have a wax cylinder on it, your old record player?
闻着就像是老塑料和温热的橡胶 They smell like old plastic and warm rubber.
没错 就是这个味 Yeah, exactly.
船长家他自己独特癖好的抽屉就是这个味 The smelling of his special drawer is that.
你实际上是跟托马斯爱迪生进行了对话 You're actually talking to Thomas Edison there.
面对面啊 In person.
干得漂亮 先生 Well done, sir.
现在 我们几乎每天都被告知 Now, as we're told almost every day these days, really,
全世界的珊瑚礁正在消亡 the world's coral reefs are all dying.
而我们则被告知说这是汽车的错 And we're told that this is the fault of the car.
鉴于我们是一档汽车节目 Well, since we host a car show,
我们认为这是我们的责任和义务来为珊瑚礁做些什么 we thought it would be our duty and responsibility to do something about it.
这里是加勒比 一切看上去都很正常 Here in the Caribbean, all appears to be well.
但是闪耀的蓝色海水之下 则是无穷无尽的沙漠 But under the shimmering blue sea, there's just miles and miles of sand.
这就是水下沙漠 It's an underwater desert.
并且即便你找了一片珊瑚礁 大多数不是已经死了 就是走在死亡的道路上 And even when you do find a reef, most of the coral is dead or dying.
三十八年前 Thirty-eight years ago,
当地政府为了促进珊瑚礁的再生长 在这里沉了一艘船 the local government sank a ship to encourage the coral to come back.
计划奏效了 And it's working.
这里已然是生命的绿洲 It's already an oasis of life.
这也给了我们一个好主意 And that gave us an idea.
为什么要用船作为珊瑚礁生长的基础呢 Why use a ship as the hub or your coral reef?
为什么不用车呢 世界上有无数的汽车 Why not use cars? There are millions of them.
所以这也是我们的计划 我们搞来了五辆车 So that's exactly what we've done. We've got five cars.
与其走昂贵又复杂的程序去回收这些旧车 And rather than go through all the expense and complication of recycling them,
我们把车子拆光 把引擎拿走 去掉喷漆 we've stripped them, taken the engines out, removed the paint,
它们就准备好下水了 and they're ready to go in the sea.
这个办法真的很合理 因为当车子进入海水中之后 This really does make perfect sense, because when the car is in the water,
海水会侵蚀车身 并吸引帮助珊瑚礁生长的各种物质 it will start to corrode, and that attracts all the things that help the coral grow.
最终车身会完完全全的腐蚀殆尽 And then the car itself just rusts away to absolutely nothing.
比如这辆车 它的生命起源于很可怕的标致车 So this one, which started life as a pretty horrible Peugeot
并且在它的生涯中一直都是一辆糟糕的车 但它最终会变成一座美丽的珊瑚礁 and was always a terrible car, will eventually become a beautiful coral reef.
而这一切会发生的很快 And all this happens quite quickly.
大概几年之后 So in just a few years' time,
BBC就可以在它的轮拱里拍一部野生动物纪录片了 the BBC will be able to make a wildlife documentary just in this wheel arch.
不管怎样 我们搞来了车子 Anyway, we've got the cars.
我搞来了起重机 I've got a crane.
我们现在只需要一艘船 也就是我们交给杰里米的任务 All we need now is a boat, which is a job we gave to Jeremy.
那是他的工作 That's his responsibility.
他一定会过度操作的 对吧 He'll have overdone it, won't he?
估计他会搞得很张扬... Well, he'll have made a statement of some sort, so...
大货轮 或者是大油轮 Freight ship. Full-on freight ship. Or a tanker.
哦 他们没有过度发挥呢 Oh. He hasn't overdone it.
那是他么 Is that him?
这特么能干什么啊 What is the point of that?
你们能过来帮我系一下绳子么 Will you come and tie it up?
这是我见过的最差的船了 太差劲了 That's the worst boat I've ever seen. That's awful!
-这船有什么问题 What's the matter with it? -它... Well, it...
*按翻译制作时汇率 约合3.4万人民币 我们给了你5000刀去买船 We gave you $5,000 to buy a boat.
船是很贵的好么 Boats are expensive!
你并没有把钱全花在船上 You didn't spend all five grand on this.
-这才不值五千刀呢 That is not a five thou-- -明明就可以 Yes!
人家目前牙疼 善良些好么 I've got toothache. Be kind.
少来这套 你这不是5000刀的船 Irrelevant. That is not a $5,000 boat.
-就是 It is! -你这都算不上是船好么 看看它 It's barely a boat. Look at it!
多好啊 你们可以在上面放一辆车 It's brilliant! You'll get a car on this.
-额...哪里 Er... Where? -后面这里啊 On the back!
-你从谁手里买的船 Who did you buy it from? -一个男的 A man.
-交易的时候他有在笑么 Was he laughing? -并没有啊 No, he wasn't.
-我能上船看看么 Can I come aboard? -不行 No.
我不认为这船能承住两个人 I don't think it can take two.
看 太糟糕了 Look! It's terrible!
与其站在那里 批评一个牙痛的可怜男人 Instead of just standing there, criticising a man who's got toothache,
为啥你不赶紧跳上你的吊车 赶紧装一辆车上来 why don't you go and get a car on the crane and start loading it?
很快 我们的第一辆车已经准备好上船了 Soon, our first car was ready to be lifted onto the boat.
这种回报自然的感觉真好 真的 It's just nice to be putting something back, really.
真的是这样 这辆老Corsa 它一定会充满珊瑚虫的 It genuinely is. It's a little old Corsa, and it's gonna be full of coral.
珊瑚虫先生来了 游来游去 Mr Coral coming, swimming along.
"哦 这里好像适合我安家啊" "Ooh, there's something to latch on to."
之后它的朋友也会跟来 Then his friend comes along.
它的朋友也会来 His friend comes along.
真是一个天才的主意啊 This is a genuinely brilliant idea.
只不过他...让我没什么信心 That doesn't fill me with... total confidence.
往下放一点 Down a bit! Down!
你得要 You'll have to...
把它怼进去 Boom out!
这动作是怼进去的意思么 Is that the sign for "boom out"?
对的 That. Yeah, that.
感觉在被两个乡下人指挥 It's like being guided by The Village People.
成功了 只要不 It's working now. Unless--
成了 成了 On! On!
-接下来只要 -The next danger-- -你真是帮大忙了 -You're really helping.
-我这攥着引导绳呢 -I've got the guideline.
-詹姆斯 向下一点 - Down a bit, James. -注意风向 -Watch for the wind.
哈蒙德 你能给它掉个方向么 Hammond, can you swing it around?
你是要掉个方向是么 Do you want me to swing it?
我试试把它 Yeah, try and get it...
我艹 Oh, shit!
谁拽的 Who pulled that?
我们得快把车救上来 它是未来的暗礁 救救暗礁 We've got to save the car! It's a reef! Save it!
车没了 Oh, it's gone! It's gone!
谁拽的 Who pulled the...
那是松开它 你个榆木脑袋 That's to release it, you Muppet!
额 我以为是引导绳 Well, I thought it was a guide rope.
不 是我转向 你等车到岸上的时候一拉 No, I steer it! You just release it when it's on there!
是他叫我干的 He told me to steer it.
他说的"拽着绳子给它把方向" He said, "Pull the rope to steer it."
*约等于人民币三百三十六万 这吊车值四十万镑 This is a £400,000 crane!
你为什么会觉得要靠绳子来控制方向 Why would you steer it with a piece of string?!
这上面什么功能都有 It's got all these knobs and buttons.
我来管方向 你来松开钩子 I steer it, you release it!
所以这是拿来松钩子的 So that's a quick release?
-对 -Yes! -明白了 -Got it.
那我们不如就在开头说四辆车吧 What if we just said we only had four cars?
我们准备了四辆车 去掉发动机 So we've taken four cars, removed the engines
磨掉喷漆 准备下海 and the paint, and they're ready to go in the sea.
-到时候就这样再录一遍 -We'll do that piece to camera again. -嗯 -Yeah, yeah.
为什么要拿船做暗礁呢 The thing is, why use a ship as the hub of your reef?
车子不行吗 我们有那么多车 Why not use cars? There are millions.
我们找到了四台车 去掉了引擎 So we've taken four cars, removed the engines,
把它们扒光 准备下海 stripped them down and they're ready to go in the sea.
詹姆斯说什么来着 哦对 And then James... Oh, yeah.
这辆标致在路上的时候并不是一辆好车 And then... And then, this Peugeot was no good as a car,
但是它会 但是珊瑚会粘上去 氧化 长藻 but will be... but the coral will just stick to it, oxidising and algae.
用不了多久 Doesn't take very long.
总有一天 BBC纪录片 轮拱 One day, BBC documentary, wheel arch.
我们正好有这四辆车 Yeah, from just four cars. That's all we had.
只要四辆车 你就能有个新暗礁 Four cars. That's all you need for a reef.
这就是我们的船 上面有点小损伤 Right, here's the boat we've selected. It's a little bit damaged.
把释放绳收起来后 我们决定放下第一辆车 With the release rope stowed, we managed to get the first of our four cars
到这个船顶坏了的小船上 onto the boat, which had come with a broken roof.
成了 赞 Yeah. Oh, yes!
-好耶 -Yes! -棒 -Yeah!
真棒 终于成了 Good! Result.
然后我们得确保它固定住了 And then we had to secure it in place.
我不是很懂这些绑紧带 I don't understand ratchet straps.
船上进水了 Er... There's water coming into the boat.
-不 我买的时候就带点水 -No, there was some in when I bought it. -水越渗越多了 -It's leaking.
仓底总会有点水的 There's always a bit of water in the bilges.
这就是为什么要有排水泵 It's why boats have bilge pumps.
水在涌进来 No, it's coming in.
进水还不够 水在涌进来 It's not just like it's in, it's coming in.
-这里还没有啊 -Well, there's none here. -这里都是洞 船在漏水 -There's holes! It's leaking!
我艹 这里进水了 把我们系在吊车上 Oh, shit! No, there is! Well, attach us to the crane.
它在下沉 Er... It's gone down.
它已经沉 它在下沉 It has gone... It is going down.
你把我们系在吊车上 就不会沉了 If you attach us to the crane, it won't sink, will it?
系上了 We're tied on.
詹姆斯 能把吊绳收一下吗 James, can you just take the slack?
很不幸 他误解了这个简单的指令 Sadly, James misunderstood this simple instruction.
后面全塌了 Oh, the whole thing has collapsed at the back!
我的妈啊 Oh, dear God!
等等 停下 怎么回事 Wait! Stop! Whoa! Whoa! What?
船要翻了 It's falling over!
詹姆斯 船要翻了 James, it's falling!
-你说什么 -What do you want? -我滴亲娘四舅奶奶 -Holy Mother of God!
要翻船了 弃船 先照顾自己 It's going down! Abandon ship! Save yourself!
吊住它 詹姆斯 Catch it, James!
救救它 Save it!
不要啊 Stop!
你在搞什么 What are you doing?
我的天 Oh, God.
法国对外情报和反间谍局没有做的那么好过 The French Secret Service didn't do a job as good as this.
不想和你们说话了 I'm not talking to any of you.
别介 是船长的锅 No. Come on, it was May's fault.
你买了艘烂船 然后放上了只蠢猎狗上吊车 You bought a crap boat, you put an idiot spaniel on the crane,
觉着我们这么做能给车子重定义 and, also, think what we were gonna do for the conception of the car.
人们会爱上车子的 会把它们当做有好的 能养珊瑚的小东西 People would love the car. They would see it as a friendly, coral-loving thing.
你游泳姿势像个老妇人 You're swimming like an old woman.
我特么不喜欢带在水里 I don't like being in the bloody water!
讲真的 我很不舒服 我来自伯明翰唉 Fact! I'm not comfortable! I'm from Birmingham!
在一般邮轮停着靠边吃水的地方弄沉了一艘船加上两辆车 Having sunk a boat and two cars where the cruise liners normally park,
港口方面建议我们赶快走 the port authorities suggested we go away.
所以我们把剩下的三辆车带到另一个船坞 So we took our three remaining cars to a nearby marina,
造了小筏 雇了一艘前面带吊车的船 built ourselves a raft, and hired a boat which had a crane on the front.
-詹姆斯 - May! -怎么了 -What?
你别碰吊车 You're not operating the crane.
你来开 You are operating the crane.
好 Yeah.
我只想说我从一个干得完美的岗位上被炒了 I'd just like to point out that I've been fired from a job that I was doing perfectly.
我就说 Meant that.
这吊车没用啊 有开关吗 I can't get the crane working. Is there a switch?
别找我啊 我不会弄吊车的 Don't come to me for help. I'm rubbish at cranes.
我有说你不会吗 是我说的吗 I didn't, did I? Did I?
很快 我们准备装第一辆车 Soon, we were ready to load our first car.
你差的也太远了 You're miles away!
你这得对准点 You've got to be spot-on.
我这只能举这么高 I can only lift it to there.
往这边点 This way, this way, this way, this way.
不 往上 No, up, up, up.
不行啊 杰瑞米你得往后 I can't... Jeremy, you'll have to go back.
你这船一直在动我对不上啊 I can't do it if you keep moving the boat!
如果要往后倒 我应该这么打方向 If I want to go backwards, I should go that way.
对 往这边来 我这挪不了 Right, this way. You've got to... I can't move it...
不行啊 船在动 I can't go that way! He's driving!
没法用吊机啊 I can't move it!
直接把它吊起来不就 我的天 Why don't we pick it... Oh, God.
我们在朝哪里走 Where are we going?!
麻烦的是 风在吹着我们 The bad things... It's the wind!
我们怎么会到这来了 Why are we over here?
风吹的 Wind!
来了 接好 快接好 Here he comes! This is it! This is it!
我们正匆匆赶来 We're coming in hot!
别把吊机对着我 Stop... chasing me with the bloody crane!
詹姆斯 你干什么都那么慢吗 May, will you do something quickly in your life?
想杀人了 I'm going to kill him!
对上了 快跑 Here we go! Yes! Run away! Run away!
我们终于成了 We have hooked the apple!
慢慢来 做的很棒 In a bit, in a bit. We are good.
我们很棒 让人震惊 We are so good, it's almost incredible.
我们找到诀窍了 Now we had our eye in...
我的天 Oh, Jesus.
第二辆车分分钟拿下 ...loading the second car was the work of a moment.
装上了 我的妈啊 好样的 We're on. Oh, my God! Yes.
就这样 成了 That's it. That'll do.
我这辈子干过最爷们儿的事 This is the manliest thing I've ever done.
让我的蛋蛋靠着大吊臂休息一下 I'm just gonna rest my big balls on my crane.
把船装满后 我们朝着 With our raft full,
海洋生物学家定的位置出发 we headed out to the spot identified by marine biologists
那里 深度水流温度都刚刚好 as having the perfect depth, current and temperature for a reef to form.
把暗礁放下 Release the reef!
好的 完美 Yes! There it goes!
-新的暗礁诞生了 -The reef is born! -我们有暗礁了 -That's our reef!
-快沉下去 -Sink! -小珊瑚 快快来 -Come, coral! Come!
放 好的 Go! Yes!
我好兴奋啊 Oh, I'm pleased with that!
这辆标致206 The Peugeot 206.
真的是太棒了 That is brilliant.
接下来，我们要把这车固定住 Next, we had to anchor the cars in place,
只能让我们当中唯一个有潜水执照的人来做了 which was a job for the only qualified diver among us.
他还带上了装备 He'd even brought his own equipment.
好的 往后一点 Right. Back a bit.
往后一点 都到鼻子上了 Back... That's on my nose.
别抱怨了 Stop moaning!
如果他是心脏外科医生 估计是那种往旧皮包里 If he were a heart surgeon, he would turn up with an old leather bag
放锯子和榔头的那种 with a saw and hammer in it, wouldn't he?
"我准备好给你做手术了 这就开干" "I'm ready to do your operation. Here I am."
他这一身装备就像他家的老桌子还有转盘电话 It's like his old table with his Bakelite telephone on it.
-是啊 Yes. -"你好 我这是哈默史密斯37号..." "Hello. Hammersmith 37 here."
船长的装备是那么的老旧 无法携带随身氧气瓶 那么 很烦人的 James's suit was so old, it didn't come with air tanks, so, annoyingly,
保证他活着就是我们的责任了 it was our responsibility to keep him alive.
我们还要这么干多久啊 How long have we got to do this for?
一直到他工程结束为止啊 Well, for as long as he's down there.
-说真的 我好累 Honestly, I'm exhausted. -我有些头晕了呢 I'm getting dizzy.
我们应该继续干了 We should keep going.
不 你看 那边有个发电机 No. Look, there's a generator.
我们为啥不把它连到发电机上去呢 Why don't we just connect it to the generator?
可以了 可以了 Now. Now.
-我知道 Yeah. -你个傻瓜 You're an idiot.
拯救生命的空气 Life-saving air.
哦 搞定了 Oh, there we go.
启动了 放轻松 On. And relax.
差一点 Nearly!
快上来啊 詹姆斯 Come in, James.
当我们的同事终于浮出水面之后 When our colleague finally surfaced...
他非常的生气 he was very angry.
我根本都无法靠近汽车 一点都无法靠近 That was nowhere near the cars. Nowhere near.
什么叫一点都没有靠近啊 What was nowhere near the cars?
你们还不如直接把我放到洛杉矶海岸那里呢 You might as well have dropped me off the coast of Los Angeles!
-我连看都看不见那些车 I couldn't even see them! -别说了 Just stop. Stop.
你到底...你到底想说什么 What do you... What do you mean?
你是怎么分配工作的 你是船只专家 就像你一直吹嘘的那样 How did you manage... You're the boat expert, as you're forever telling us.
你是怎么做到把车子扔在那里 How did you manage to put the cars there
然后把船又移动了100米呢 and then move the boat about 100 yards away?
-我们漂走了 We drifted. -我们有些轻微的漂走 We drifted a bit.
-你有没有解决问题 Have you done the job? -没有 No.
-什么 What? -那些车没有被固定住 The cars are not anchored.
因为我下去之后 Because when I got there,
你那能漂走 愚蠢 橙色的破船把我拽走了 your drifting, stupid, orange biscuit-tin boat yanked me back off it!
我们可没有一下午的时间供你在水下扑腾来扑腾去 We don't have an afternoon to just throw away while you go paddling.
你是在说...算了 我来搞定 You're saying... I'm gonna have to do it, aren't I?
很快 詹姆斯邦德就准备好下水了 Soon, James Bond was ready to go in the water.
*70年代007的扮演者 -我看起来想不想罗杰摩尔 Do I look like Roger Moore? -是啊 很像 Yeah, you do.
-你很像 没问题的 You do, yeah. Yeah. -罗杰摩尔 一位绿色蔬菜经销商 Roger Moore, the greengrocer.
-出发了 Let go. Yes! -真棒 Yay!
我刚刚递给杰里米一个焊枪 I've just handed Jeremy a welding iron.
哦 上帝啊 Oh, dear God.
我不确定杰里米会焊接 I'm not sure I trust Jeremy to do welding.
我都不确定他会不会看YouTube上焊接教程的视频 I wouldn't trust Jeremy to watch a YouTube guide to welding.
哦 这是什么 Oh! What's that?
情况不对啊 杰里米 That's gone wrong. Jeremy?
非常 非常糟糕 Badly, horribly wrong.
-进展怎么样 How did that go? -非常的好啊 Very well.
-真的吗 Did it? -那当然 Oh, yeah.
-真的 Did it? -当然 Yeah.
这就搞定了... That was all...
短时间内车子是哪里都去不了 They are not going anywhere in a hurry.
我们返回岸边吃晚餐 We headed back to shore for an agreeable dinner,
很高兴我们的环境保护行动 最终 还是进展不错的 happy that our important environmental work was, at last, going well.
但是现在就有珊瑚礁在形成了吗 But are the coral starting now?
-是啊 Yeah. -所以现在水下就有珊瑚礁咯 So they're down there now.
-一部分珊瑚虫已经开始... A bit of coral's gonna... -是啊 一定会的 Yeah, it will have done.
虽说不是什么大型的珊瑚礁 但这是一个珊瑚礁的形成的起点 It's not a big coral reef, but it's the start of a coral reef.
干得漂亮 兄弟们 我们完成了... Well done, chaps. We have done...
别敲你的杯子 你们也清楚 今天的行动值得我们大干一杯 I don't clink glasses, as you know, but we can raise a glass to our success today.
没错 我们干的非常漂亮 Yes. Well done, us.
我们稍后将继续我们的海洋生物保护工程 We're gonna pick up our important marine biology work later on.
但是现在是明星头脑碰撞环节了 But now it's time to play Celebrity Brain Crash!
简直不能再好更多啊 That doesn't get any better.
这个短片 简直是太棒了 That really doesn't get any better, that sting.
但是 无论如何 我们今天的嘉宾 But anyway, my guest tonight is from...
我该怎么形容他啊 Well, how can I describe it, really?
来自世界音乐界第二大 最重要的地方 ...the second biggest and most important part of the world,
英格兰东北部 as far as music is concerned: the Northeast of England.
哦 拜托啊 Oh, come on!
嘿 别搞错了 Well, hello?!
马克•诺弗勒 保罗·罗杰斯 Mark Knopfler, Paul Rodgers,
斯汀 小混混组合的几个人 Gordon Sting, a couple of people out of Little Mix.
-Lindisfarne乐队...不错啊 Lindisfarne. Mm, lovely. -没错Lindisfarne乐队 我们先不提这个 Yes, Lindisfarne. We'll gloss over that.
但是 我们的嘉宾 是一位主角 But then we've also got ...the main man.
那个我们为各位准备好的嘉宾 他就是世界上 The man we have lined up for you, he is the lead singer
最大摇滚乐队的主唱 AC/DC of the biggest rock band in the world, AC/DC.
女士们先生们 Brian Johnson Ladies and gentlemen, Brian Johnson!
-他来了 There he is! -他在那里 There he is!
他在那里 正向我们走来 There he is! Here he comes!
我们要跟他谈些什么呢 What are we gonna talk to him about?
-他有参加汽车运动比赛 Well, he's taken up motor racing. -没错 Yeah.
-他现在还有了一档新节目 He's got a new TV show. -没错 马上就播了 Yes, on the road.
他正向我们走来 He's on the road.
我想跟他聊聊 站在世界上最大的摇滚乐团最前面是什么感觉 I'm gonna talk to him about being at the front of the world's biggest rock band.
他在哪里 Where is he?
-他走过来了 Here he comes! -他在那里 Oh, there he is!
-他在那里 There he is. -摇滚明星 好一个传奇式人物 The man himself. What a legend!
我...我一直想见他 我好激动啊 I can't... I've always wanted to meet him. I'm thrilled.
-是啊 Yeah. -他就是个传奇... That is a legend. Proper...
-哦 等一下 Oh, hello. -等一下 Oh, hello.
-搞什么 What? -我的天... Oh, my...
哦 上帝啊 Oh, God!
-我们杀了他 We killed him. -我们杀了Brian Johnson We've killed Brian Johnson.
真是... That's...
好吧 OK.
Brian Johnson被一群自认为是玩'足球'的人给踩死了 Brian Johnson has been run over by some people who think they are playing football.
但是那才不是足球呢 对吧 But they're not. It's not football, is it?
因为他们不用脚踢啊 Cos they don't use their feet.
这不是足球 That's not football.
这只是一群奇装异服的人 That's just people dressing up.
-真是... That's... -我们玩的叫足球 We play football.
-我们那叫足球 We play football. -没错 用脚踢的 Yeah, with our feet.
那叫足球 We play football.
-你那叫英式足球 Soccer! It's soccer! -什么?! What?!
才不是英式足球呢 这就是足球 It's not soccer! It's football that we play!
全世界67.5亿人民都叫它足球 It's 6.75 billion people in the world call it football!
你们可以尽情的嘘 You can moan and shout all you like.
事实是 我们是英国人 我们负责剪辑 你们都会被剪掉 The fact is, we're British and we edit this show, and you'll just get cut out.
肯定会的 You will.
这是橄榄球 This is a rugby ball!
看看大屏幕 Look on the screen.
他们只会在有'与生俱来'的缓冲垫保护下才会玩这种球 They're only playing with the padding they were born with!
这才不是足球呢 This is not a football!
他们叫它足球 They call it football.
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
那么... So...
Brian Johnson被一群非常勇敢 Brian Johnson has been run over by erm...
非常天才的'足球运动员'给踩死了 ...some supremely brave and talented footballers.
这是不是说他来不了惹? Does that mean he's not coming on, then?
是啊 詹姆斯 他被人踩的跟信封一样薄 Well, James, he's been hammered to the thickness of an envelope
脊柱变成了拼图 所以估计是来不了了 and his spine is now a jigsaw, so that is a no.
好吧 Fine.
那么 我们该怎么把时间填上呢 Right, so what are we gonna do to fill the time?
我没啥好主意 I've got nothing.
我们可以继续我们重要的海洋环保事业啊 We could get back to our important marine biology work.
-好机会 就这么干 Plan. Do it. -好 那就赶紧开始 Yes, let's do that.
在我们离开的时候 我成功的 So when we left the action, erm... I'd successfully
把两辆车固定在海底 效果非常好 welded two cars to the seabed, and that was good.
没错 我们现在继续昨天的行动 继续未尽的事业 Yeah, and we pick up the action the next day, as we go back to finish the job.
在我们去取最后一辆车的路上 On our way to get the last car,
我们停在了珊瑚礁地区 看看昨天的工作如今是否正常 we stopped at the reef site to make sure everything was OK.
汤姆戴利 Tom Daley!
我不喜欢这样 I don't like it.
在水中几分钟之后 我们发现并没有 And after a few moments in the water, we discovered it wasn't.
两辆车到底特么去哪了 浮标就在这里啊 Where the bloody hell are they? There's the buoy.
这是错误的地点 This is the wrong place.
不对 浮标标记了地点 Yes, that marks the spot.
只是车子不在了而已 They're just not here.
为什么我们要相信你成功的把车固定住了呢 Why did we trust you to fix them in place?
-我没有...听着 I didn't... Listen. -那么多人中间 Of all people.
这个我也不太理解 因为我通常不会出乱子... Well, I don't understand it, cos I don't normally make a mess of...
哦 你一定干的很漂亮 Oh, you must have made a good job of it.
不然车子也不会消失啊 That's why they've gone!
有证据显示 也许不那么充分 证明你根本不会焊接 There is evidence, or a lack of it, to suggest you can't weld.
-哦 该死 Oh, shit. -或许是鲨鱼干的... Maybe a shark...
咋了 What?
-咋了 What? -你看啊 Look.
哦 真特么赞啊 Oh, brilliant!
这特么是怎么做到的 How the hell did they do that, though?
你知道海底的洋流是很凶猛的吧 You know this current that's whizzing us about?
看看它们啊 这样可做不成珊瑚礁啊 Look at them! They're not gonna make a reef, are they?!
额 也许可以给高端顾客作为独享的游乐区 Well, maybe it could be like a play area for the privileged.
一堆生锈的破车么 Some rusty cars?
这样好像算是失败了 对吧 That doesn't work, does it?
当然 No.
很显然 我们要重新找回这两辆车 Obviously, we had to retrieve them,
也就是说要把筏子移动到我们起重船的尾部 which meant moving the raft to the stern of our crane boat.
詹姆斯 你解开了那边的绳子吗 James, have you untied that end?
对啊 接住绳子 咱们赶紧出发了 Yeah. Get ready to catch this rope. Here we go.
把绳子拉过去 把筏子的位置摆正 Pull it along a bit and get it sort of squared up.
我就安心作乘客好了 I'll have a nice ride.
好的 调整筏子的位置 Right. Repositioning raft.
真是令人放心的噪音啊 That's a reassuring noise.
额 那个东西是从哪里来的 Er... Where... Where's that come from?
詹姆斯 詹姆斯 James. James.
-咋了 What? -那边的是什么鬼啊 What's that doing over there?
什么什么鬼啊 What's what doing?
所有的竹子都散开了 All this bamboo's come off.
你解开了什么啊 What have you untied?
我就是把前面的一段绳子给解开了啊 I've untied the piece of string at the front.
你看 一半的筏子都消失了 But, look, half the craft is disappearing.
鉴于筏子正在以非常快的速度解体 我们必须尽快上岸 As the raft was disintegrating fast, we had to get it to shore quickly.
启动我的引擎 Firing up the machine!
很不幸 杰里米的快速引擎让局面变得更糟 Sadly, though, Jeremy's turn of speed only made things worse.
动力啊 动力啊 快点 Power! Power! Come on!
慢点! Slow down!
筏子散架了 It's falling apart!
你看 他正在下沉 慢一点 Look, he's going down! Slow down!
慢点 Slow!
这样的筏子可没法放车子啊 对吧 You can't put cars on that, can you?
营救起船长之后 他愚蠢的建议 为了解决问题 After we'd rescued James, he stupidly suggested that, to solve the problem,
我们应该毁掉所有人的假期 we should ruin everyone's holiday.
我认为这些人应该赶紧躲开 I think these people should move out of the way.
我的计划是把车子拖离海滩 重新回到港口 然后重新来过 My plan was to tow the cars off the beach and back to the harbour so we could start again.
*大西洋底来的人 1974-1978年电视剧集 也就是说 我会需要大西洋底来的人*的帮助 Which meant I'd need the help of the man from Atlantis.
抓住我的手 好的 好的 现在放手吧 Hold my hand! There! There! There! Now, let me go.
没错 可以 你可以放手... Yeah, that's me. You have to let...
哦 小心我的胳膊 松手吧 我没事 Oh, mind my arm! Let me go now. I'm fine.
我不喜欢这样 I don't like it!
快跑啊 Move!
哈蒙德 把两辆车都绑好 然后竖拇指示意我 Hammond, tie both of them to this and give me a thumbs up.
如果船长把这些东西拖上岸 一路返回到港口那里 If James gets those onto the road, all the way back up to the harbour,
再造一个筏子 再装上去 build another raft, get them loaded on...
拖到这里 那要花好几天的时间啊 ...bring them back, it's gonna take days.
-好的 OK. -不要站的太靠近我的车尾 Don't stand near the back.
这东西刹车失灵了 The brakes don't work.
好的 Yeah!
-现在这是闹哪样啊 Well, now what? -真是太差劲了 That was rubbish.
随后我说 我们应该使用我那伟大的船 来把车子拖回海上指定地点 I then said we should use my brilliant boat to tow the cars back to the reef site,
也就是更快 也更轻松 which would be quicker and easier.
它们进入水中了 They're in the water!
动力啊 Power!
动力 加油啊 Power! Come on!
好的 Yes!
吃我船的灰去吧 詹姆斯梅 Eat my boat, James May!
加油啊 Come on!
胜利属于我的大船 Victory is the boat's!
詹姆斯梅那令人绝望的计划... James May's hopeless plan...
刚才是咋了 What was that?
鉴于两辆生锈的标致车沉在了游泳区 以及所有沙滩设施也被毁个一干二净 With two rusty Peugeots in his swimming area and his beach furniture in ruins,
酒店的经理说他受够了 让我们赶紧滚 the hotel manager had had enough and ordered us to leave.
我们失去了四辆车 一艘船还有我们的筏子 We'd now lost four cars, a boat and our raft.
但是积极的方面是 我们依旧还有一辆车 并且最重要的是 起重船还在 But on the plus side, we still had one car left, and most importantly, the crane boat.
但是那天晚上 坏消息来了 But that night, there was bad news.
起重船的主人对我们的行为不太高兴啊 The man who owns it is not best pleased with us.
-因为啥 Because? -总之他不租给我们了 He has off-hired it.
-我们失去起重船了? We've not got the crane boat? -没错 No.
-那可是我们最合手的工具啊 That was the most useful thing we had. -是啊 Yeah.
那我们能拿那辆老路虎怎么办呢 So what can we possibly do with a Land Rover?
-嗯 Well... -嗯什么 Well, what?
如果往积极角度去看 If I can be positive...
路虎车大部分都是铝制的 The Land Rover's largely aluminium,
也就是更适合珊瑚礁的形成 which is actually even better for creating a reef.
-没错 True. -但是现在东西在陆上啊 But it's on the land!
没错 他说得对 路虎车的确... Yes, it is true. The Land Rover is--
这都没关系了 因为我们失去了其余的所有装备 It's irrelevant. We've lost everything else.
话是没错 但是如果我们能... Yes, but it's good if...
我想到了个好主意 I've had a brainwave.
哦 上帝啊 Oh, God.
于是 第二天早上 And so, the next morning,
巴巴多斯的人们又看到了另一幅伟大的奇观 the people of Barbados were treated to the magnificent spectacle
一辆路虎在救生圈和空气袋的帮助下 威严的滑过加勒比海 of a Land Rover gliding majestically on a bed of inner tubes across the Caribbean Sea.
这就是我们最后一辆车了 很经典的一辆车 Here we are on our final car, and it's a classic.
这是一台1系列的路虎 It's a Series I Land Rover.
不 2系列的 No, it's a Series II.
这是1系的 头灯的位置安排的更近 It's a Series I. The lights are close together.
不 车身侧面有圆滑的腰线 No, it's got the barrel rolls on the doors.
这是2系路虎 It's a Series II.
-这就表明是2系路虎吗 That makes it a Series II? -对啊 Yeah.
我还以为2系路虎的标志是头灯呢 I thought Series IIs had the lights angled.
那么我想我们陷入了一个僵局 I think we're getting stuck on this.
-总是是路虎 It's a Land Rover. -这是一辆老路虎车 It's an old Land Rover.
它的优点是 它不会像普通钢制汽车那么快的被腐蚀掉 The good thing about it is it corrodes much less quickly than the steel car.
同时 我们还在车内粘贴了一些石灰岩块 We've also glued these limestone tiles to it,
因为石灰岩是珊瑚虫开始形成珊瑚礁的完美地点 because porous limestone is the perfect base, foundation, for coral to start a reef.
我们这就是一台珊瑚礁生产机器啊 This is a coral-reef-making machine.
实际上 唯一美中不足的就是我们的动力设施了 In fact, the only fly in the ointment was its propulsion system.
-我能开稍微快一点么 Can I go a bit faster? -不行 No!
你开快了车子就开始进水 It's filling with water the faster you go.
我们会在错误的地点沉下去的 We'll sink it in the wrong place.
这是我们最后一辆车 最后的机会啊 This is our last car, our last chance.
他们俩在吱吱叫着抱怨"哦 别开太快了" They're bleating on. "Oh, don't go too fast!"
你又开快了 杰里米 You're going faster again, Jeremy!
你在把车子弄沉啊 You're pulling it under!
放轻松 Relax!
我们跟他是同一物种的么 Am I the same species as that?
估计不是 No.
杰里米 在我们到达之前不要搞沉了 Jeremy, don't sink it before we get there!
我的老天啊 你们看见这个东西了吗 Mother of God! Have you seen that?
-什么 What? -兄弟们 快看 Guys, look!
-我的上帝 Oh, my God! -快看啊 Holy cow! Look at it!
真是太惊人了 That is phenomenal!
好啊 比一比啊 Yeah! Racing!
杰里米 你会把我们弄沉的 别比赛了 Jeremy, you're going to sink us! Don't race it!
追上它...哦 管不了他们两个了 Catch the... Oh, I haven't got time for these two.
好的 出发去追帆船去咯 Right. Let's go catch that sailing boat!
哦 真棒啊他 Oh, brilliant!
看我的吧 大宝贝 Watch this, sunshine.
这是我见过最快的... That is the fastest thing I've...
为啥它速度比我快啊 Why is it faster than me?
真是太棒了 风力正在和我的马力对决 They're so good, breeze is beating brake horsepower.
我跟不上它的速度 I cannot keep up with it.
什么时候我们需要喝自己的尿啊 When do we drink our own urine?
看看那个大家伙啊 Look at that thing now!
我的老天啊 Bloody Nora!
真的是...太神奇了 That is just... fabulous!
我可以在这台神奇的机器周围晃悠一整天 I could have buzzed around this amazing machine all day,
但是我还有更重要的环保事业要做 but there was still important environmental work to do.
所以 不情愿的 我跟这个大家伙分手 回到了我同事的身边 So, reluctantly, I broke off to rejoin my stranded colleagues.
-你们还好吧 Are you all right? -当然不好了 Well, no!
我们在一辆老路虎里漂好长一段了 We've just been left to drift in a Land Rover!
你走运了 这些陶瓷东西都没松动下来 Fortunately for you, none of these ceramic tiles is loose,
不然我肯定要把它丢到你脑袋上去 otherwise I'd chuck it at your head.
你造么 我认为这车在海上比在陆地上操控要好呢 Do you know, I think it actually handles better than it does on land.
很快我们就会到达了指定地点 Soon, we will reach the reef site,
戳破了车内的空气管 路虎车就会沉下去了 puncture the inner tubes, the Land Rover will sink,
也就会成为鲤鱼 黑鲤鱼 还有海鲷啥的理想的港湾 and it will become a safe haven for cod and haddock and...bream.
最终 我们到达了指定地点 把我们路虎车上的透水伐打开 Eventually, we reached the site and said about scuttling our reef machine.
开火 Fire!
好的 Yes! Yes!
这就下去了 Here we go!
下去啊 沉啊 Down! Sink!
老实讲 所有伟大的环境保护活动都有其自身的问题 In truth, all great environmental projects are beset with problems.
而我们的活动 尽管我们自己一点错误都没犯 除了船长 也不能例外 And ours, through no fault of our own, except James's, was no exception.
-快救船啊 Save it! -快停下 Stop!
所以 最后的结局就是 我们的珊瑚礁也没有我们起初期望的那样雄伟 So, in the end, our new reef wasn't quite as spectacular as we'd hoped.
但是这是一个起点 But it was a start,
迟早有一天 它会成为绵延几英里珊瑚礁的核心 and one day it'll be the core of something a thousand miles long--
并成为加勒比海中无数鱼类美丽的新家 a new and beautiful home for the cod and the haddock of the Caribbean.
欢迎鱼儿们 来此安家
新家现在 开放中
我尿了一泡尿
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
非常感谢巴巴多斯政府对我们拍摄的大力支持 And a very big thank you to the government of Barbados for helping us with that film.
并且我要说在我们录制过程中没有任何珊瑚礁受到了损害 And we'd just like to say no coral was damaged while we were building our reef.
并且 要是完全准确的说 也没生成任何新珊瑚礁 No. Or, if we're perfectly honest, created.
不过 我们倒是收获了一个非常好的点子 However, we came back with a brilliant idea.
你看 我们非常喜欢加勒比海 You see, we liked it in the Caribbean.
我们的团队也很喜欢那里 Our crews liked it in the Caribbean.
所以我就想了一个好主意 下一周 我们拍一段片子 So we thought it would be a good idea, next week, to make a film
比较一下法国 荷兰和英国的不同汽车文化 comparing the motoring cultures of the French, the Dutch and the British Islands.
-是啊 主意还是挺不错的 Yeah, it was a great idea. -挺好的主意 Brilliant idea.
但是 威尔曼先生 我们的制片人 认为这才不是啥好主意呢 But Mr Wilman, our producer, he decided it wasn't a brilliant idea,
并且 取而代之的是 我们要去法国北部驾驶三辆老爷车 and that, instead, we should go to northern France with three old cars
还要淋着雨驾车 and drive around in the rain.
这才是我们下一周真正的内容 So that's what we're actually doing.
那么在这则非常令人失望的消息中 节目要结束了 And on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end.
非常感谢各位的收看 Thank you so much for watching.
非常感谢各位的到来 我们下周再见 保重 Thank you for coming. See you soon. Take care.