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翻译 彼岸的宁静 盐湖凉开水 murky洋葱骑士 董小姐
翻译 章鱼 抹茶咖啡 流水亦芳菲 斗斗不说再见 CiciXT 面条
校对 笑中带泪送别的面条 妈妈桑
时间轴 COO安而不斯 CEO贝壳 CTO蒜头 CFO大葱
后期 阿小小海告别硅谷
总监 笑中带泪送别的面条
你有什么想要和我们说的吗 Is there something you wanna tell us?
我尊重你们所有人 I respect you all?
AT&T和姚网络签订合约
AT&T and YaoNet close deal.
真是出乎意料 Wow. Bombshell.
硅谷 前情回顾
我们的网络变慢了是因为姚网络来了 Our network's slowing down because YaoNet's here,
还攻击了我们 and they're attacking us.
我们来不是为了攻击魔笛网 We did not come here to attack you,
只是观摩 了解你要如何将魔笛网投入使用 simply in order to see how you got PiperNet to work,
事实证明 你做不到 which it turns out you did not.
魔笛网无法扩展规模 Pied Piper does not scale.
没用的垃圾 Worthless piece of‐‐
我不需要用吉尔弗约尔的人工智能 I don't need to use Gilfoyle's A.I.
来优化发散法 in order to improve middle‐out.
我需要用发散法来创造一个新的人工智能 I need to use middle‐out to create a new A.I.
老天 Holy shit.
网络承载力
我们的网络运行消耗一定是大幅缩减了 Our network overhead must've massively shrunk.
成功了 奇迹发生了 It worked. It‐‐ It‐‐ It‐‐ It happened.
我们做到了 We did it!
左边窗外 则可以看到 And out of the left side, you can see...
我不知道那是什么 I don't know what that is.
理查德·亨得里克斯 我们应该谈谈
十年后
我要看摄像机还是看你 Should I look at the... camera or you?
和我聊天就好 你能介绍一下自己吗 You can just talk to me. Can you introduce yourself?
好的 Sure, yeah. Um...
我叫理查德·亨德里克斯 Uh, my name is Richard Hendricks,
-我是 -你能 ‐ and I'm the‐‐ ‐ Could you...?
我叫理查德·亨德里克斯 My name is Richard Hendricks. I'm, uh,
我是魔笛手的创始人和首席执行官 the founder and CEO of Pied Piper.
理查德·亨德里克斯 魔笛手创始人 首席执行官
我和大多数人一样 在'科技博客' I think like most people, I first heard about
卡拉·斯威舍 科技专栏作家
创业展会上知道了这个名字 Pied Piper at TechCrunch Disrupt.
估值得分 5.2
发散法改变了格局 Middle‐out was a game changer.
今年的冠军得主是魔笛手 The winner of this year is Pied Piper.
要知道 传统的压缩算法 What you have to understand is conventional compression
就像钻木取火 was like rubbing two sticks together.
dick costolo 推特前首席执行官
魔笛手则凭空出现 And along comes Pied Piper, out of nowhere,
就好比一把喷火枪 with a frickin' blowtorch.
我们在几个月前才刚刚开始 Well, we had really just started um, a few months earlier,
和其他硅谷公司一样 and like a bunch of other Silicon Valley companies,
在车库里工作 we were just working out of a garage.
其实是在房子里工作 Or a house, really.
-条件好吗 -不 ‐ Nice place? ‐ No.
那地方和垃圾堆一样 It was like a shit hole,
但里面乱到不行 but there was so much shit in it,
垃圾能堆到这么高 it was filled all the way up.
迪尼希·丘格塔伊 魔笛手副总裁
所以和地面持平 So, it was, like, level with the ground.
要这样说 那垃圾中 If that's true, there was a little meniscus
有一点凹面 那就是 in the shit, and that's where...
我们梦想存放的地方 our dreams lived.
唐纳德·邓恩 贾里德 魔笛手首席运营官
你不会赤脚进那栋房子 Not the kind of house you wanna take your shoes off in.
莫妮卡·霍尔 魔笛手首席财务官
味道很难闻 Yeah, just fuckin' smelled really bad.
那里还行 It was all right.
伯特伦·吉尔弗约尔 魔笛手副总裁 主管架构
我就像是迪斯科舞厅里 Oh, I was the sloppy girl
喝高了的女孩 一直转啊转啊 in the discotheque, just twirling and twirling
仿佛夜晚永不结束 like the night would never end.
尼尔森·达头蒂 大头 黑客旅社租户
靳阳跟我玩游戏时把房子赢了过去 Jian‐Yang won the house from me in a game of chance.
他让我在1到10中选择 He told me to pick a number between one and 10.
我选了7 但结果是3 I picked seven, um, but it was three.
吃一堑长一智 Eh, you live, you learn.
我们摸索了几年时间 We had knocked around for a few years,
3D地图高架样品
尝试了很多我们想做的东西 trying different iterations of what we wanted to do.
直到罗斯节时 突然变得疯狂起来 It was at RussFest when things really got crazy for us.
AT&T与魔笛手签约
当时赚了好多钱 It was so much money.
好多 So much.
对 曾有好景 Yeah. Times were good.
十年前
*百万富翁* *Millionaire...*
疯狂邪恶DJ 能暂时把音乐停下来吗 Uh, DJ Mad Evil, could we cut the music for a second?
*百万富翁* *Millionaire...*
我有个惊喜送给大家 I have a surprise for everybody,
而且 and, um,
我想可以说 suffice it to say,
大家都希望尝一口 I think that everyone here is gonna want a slice
这可口美味的蛋糕 of this moist and scrumptious cake.
我们很快就能尝尝 三 We're gonna take a bite in three,
二 two...
理查德在蛋糕里 Richard's in the cake!
-一 -傻逼盖布 ‐ one. ‐ Fuckin' Gabe.
吓到了吧 Surprise!
等一下 蛋糕里面怎么了 Wait a second! What's going on with the cake?
腿部用力 Push from your thighs.
-天啊 你还好吗 -没事 ‐ Oh God, are you okay? ‐ Fine.
把手坏了 Handle broke.
-没事 抱歉 -我说对了 ‐ Doesn't matter. Oh, sorry. ‐ I was right.
没关系 Oh, don't worry about it.
-没关系 别管了 -要拍照的 ‐ Don't worry about it. It's fine. ‐ Pictures...
各位 Okay, everybody.
我来告诉大家 I'm here to tell you
一切努力都是值得的 that it has all been worth it.
因为今天 because today,
终于成功了 it finally happened.
我们刚刚发送出 We just shipped
为AT&T制作的 the final build...
最后一批魔笛手固件 of the PiperNet firmware for AT&T's
下周全国上线 nationwide launch next week!
什么鬼 那是啤酒吗 What the fuck? Is that beer?
不 不能喝这种垃圾 喝我的 No, you're not drinking that piss. We drink my piss!
三个逗号 Tres Comas!
我刚从一个菲尼克斯的牙医那里 I just bought all the Pied Piper shares
买下了他全部的股份 that some dentist in Phoenix had.
不会吧 我爸就在菲尼克斯做牙医 Oh, no way. My dad's a dentist in Phoenix.
希望他和那个混蛋不一样 Well, hopefully he's not an asshole like this guy.
-对 那就太糟了 -这可能会变成 ‐ Yeah, that would suck. ‐ We could be talking...
四个逗号 Cuatro Comas!
干杯 小混蛋们 Drink up, you fucks!
不 不 不 停下来 No, no, no, just stop. Just stop. ‐
为什么他做就看上去那么难 How does he make it look so difficult?
*百万富翁* *Millionaire*
*亿万富翁* *Trillionaire*
还有吗 天啊 Another? Oh boy!
你在这里 Hey! There you are.
我给你准备了个礼物 I, uh, got you something.
莫妮卡 Oh, Monica.
"正准备离开AT&T "Leaving AT&T.
刚刚把细节都敲定了 Just dotted the I's, crossed the T's,
一切都非常完美" and every single detail is perfect."
我上周发给你的 I sent this to you last week.
是啊 你发给我的那一刻 Yeah, and as soon as you did,
我就知道我必须把它裱起来 I knew I had to frame it.
我是让助手帮我做的 但是你懂的 Well, I mean, I had my assistant frame it, but you know.
这非常棒 It's really awesome.
可是... Although...
你确定这是我发给你的吗 Are you sure this is what I sent to you?
-是的 为什么这么问 -好吧 ‐ Yeah. Why? ‐ Okay.
不 看这里 No, here.
那就奇怪了 Huh. That's weird.
因为... 其实有点好笑 Oh, it's because‐‐ It's actually kinda funny.
-我确定如果你 -理查德 祝贺你 ‐ Um, I'm not sure if you‐‐ ‐ Richard, congratulations.
我是你非常好的朋友靳阳 It's your very close friend Jian‐Yang,
我想要你给我些 and I would like you to give me free shares
魔笛手的免费股份 of Pied Piper.
好吧 靳阳 Okay, Jian‐Yang. Uh...
你曾经有过很多投资机会 Well, you had plenty of opportunity to invest.
-现在也有 -没错 你可以投资魔笛币 ‐ Still do. ‐ Yeah, you can buy Pipercoin.
莫妮卡 两个男人在谈正事 Monica, two men are talking business.
你可以找个扫把飞走 You can find your broom and fly away.
随你吧 我刚查过账本 Suit yourself. I just checked the ledger,
我们发给埃利希的魔笛币刚卖了两千万美元 and the coin we issued to Erlich was just sold for $20 million.
理查德 这个贱人说的是真的吗 Richard, is the mean lady right?
埃利希现在是个有钱的胖子 Errich is now fat and rich?
是啊 我觉得是这样的 Uh, yeah, I guess.
他在哪里 Where is he?
我不知道 I don't know.
也许还在西藏吧 Tibet still, maybe.
好吧 Okay.
西藏 Tibet.
好 Okay.
所以 这个时候 So, at this point,
正在发布前夕 你们完全不知道 steaming into the launch, you had no idea
-接下来发生的事情 -不知道 ‐ what was about to happen. ‐ No.
不 怎么都想不到 No, none. None whatsoever.
一切都... Everything was going...
非常顺利 great.
理查德怎么了 What the fuck is wrong with Richard?
他为什么要这么早见我们 Why does he wanna see us so early?
他在这里一夜了 Well, he's been here all night.
他不愿多说 但他现在处于一种特殊的状态 He wouldn't explain, but he is in a bit of a state.
理查德 Hey, Richard?
理查德 他们到了 Richard, they're here.
很好 好的 坐 坐 Oh, great. Yeah. Sit, sit. Sit, sit.
-为什么 -先坐下吧 ‐ Why? ‐ Just find a seat.
理查德 出什么事了 -我不知道 ‐ Richard, what's wrong? ‐ I don't know.
可以没事 也可能有事 Maybe nothing. Maybe something.
看 我想给你们看些东西 Look, here, I wanna show you something. Um...
你们看到了吗 好吧 是这样 You see? Okay. So, uh,
这是莫妮卡上周发给我的信息 this was a message I sent to Monica last week.
她把它裱起来送给我了 She had it framed for me as a gift.
我也想送你礼物来着 但是... Oh, I was gonna get you a gift, but, um,
缺货了 所以下周才能到... it was back‐ordered, so it's coming next‐‐
看这些点 数数这些点 Look at the dots. Count the dots.
-点 -就是这些点 快看 ‐ Dots? ‐ The dots! Look, look.
"每个细节都" 点 点 点 "Every single detail is," dot‐dot‐dot,
"非常完美" 对吧 "perfect." Okay?
这个省略号有三个点 There are three dots in that ellipsis,
这个数量是正确的 which is the correct number of dots.
可是 在我发送给她的信息里 However, in the message that I sent her,
这里有... there are...
四个点 这是不正确的 four dots, which is incorrect.
也就是说 不够完美 这是我的一个玩笑 Thus, not perfect. It was a joke.
-是吗 -是的 就是我的玩笑 ‐ Was it? ‐ Yes. Was and is.
好吧 我没有篡改你的玩笑 理查德 Okay, well, uh, I didn't change your joke, Richard.
我收到的就是三个点 That's what I got. Three dots.
等等 笑点是三个点还是四个点 Wait, is it... three dots that's funny or is it four?
四个 四个四个 我发给她的 四个点 Four, four, four. That's what I sent her, four.
但我们的信息是加密的 But our messaging is encrypted.
那么 我发的四个点 是怎样 So, how did what I send, four dots,
在她手机上变成三个点的 end up as three dots in her feed?
数据损坏 位元翻转 Data corruption, bit flip,
只是个偶然事件 Just a fluke.
没错 我刚开始也是这么想的 Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's what I thought.
所以 我去查看了日志 做了些计算 So, then I checked the logs, read the math.
发送信息的大小总和 The total size of all sent messages
应该跟收到信息的 should be the same as the total size
大小总和一样 对吗 of all received messages, right?
但是并不一样 收到的信息要小一点 But it's not. The received messages are smaller.
怎么会这样 除非... How? How is that possible? Unless...
我们的网络... our network...
在传输过程中 is compressing the content
把加密文件的内容压缩了 of encrypted files in transit.
而唯一可能的方式 And the only way that is possible
就是绕过加密 is by bypassing encryption.
-那不可能 -我同意 ‐ Well, that's impossible. ‐ I agree.
完全没道理 It makes no sense,
但你们不觉得我们应该在发布前搞清楚吗 but don't you think we should figure this out before launch?
理查德 不要这样 现在不行 Richard, don't do this. Not now.
我们还有四天就要发布了 We launch in four days.
电视预告片都播放了 The TV spots are already running.
我们不能因为你少了一个点 We're not jeopardizing billions of dollars
就搞砸数十亿美元的生意 because you're missing a dot.
我应该把大家找来把这个搞清楚吗 Should I get everyone in here to start working on this?
我们没时间了 We're beyond that.
其他人现在帮不了我们 The others can't help us now.
贾里德 把门闩上 Jared, bolt the doors.
你包里有什么 What's in the bag?
几个能量棒和一把枪 Clif bars and a gun.
我可以说些实话吗 May I be honest?
我的生命里曾有一段时间 There was a period of my life in which
我本会支持理查德·亨德里克斯的失败 I would've rooted for the failure of Richard Hendricks.
但那是另一个盖文·贝尔森 那是 That was a different Gavin Belson. That was...
科技界偶像盖文·贝尔森 tech icon Gavin Belson,
盖文·贝尔森 哲学家 作家
不是文学界偶像盖文·贝尔森 not literary icon Gavin Belson.
从互利离开后 我和别人 Since leaving Hooli, I've co‐authored
一起写了37本成人浪漫小说 37 adult romance novels.
方德利, 马高克斯 《灯塔舞者》. Fondly, Margeaux. The Lighthouse Dancer.
冷冰淇淋和热吻 Cold Ice Cream and Hot Kisses.
这里是《普吉湾的王子》 Over here, The Prince of Puget Sound.
最后这是《他淡褐色的目光》 Uh, and lastly, His Hazel Glance.
全都是国际畅销书 All international best sellers.
盖文 来一下 Uh, G‐Gavin. A moment, please.
我很抱歉 稍等我一下 I'm so sorry. A moment.
你他妈的有什么毛病 The fuck is your problem?
你说过就只会有一小时的 You said that this would be an hour.
我们就稍微超点时 Well, we're just running a little over.
这么多灯光机器 Yeah, with the lights, and the machines,
还有音效设备 and the sound equipment,
这一小时哪够 how is this ever gonna be an hour?
你有些歇斯底里啊 You're acting hysterical, all right?
我们有很多时间来写 We'll have plenty of time to write this‐‐
你知道吗 你知道吗 Yeah, you know what? You know what?
你去采访吧 Do your‐‐ your little interview.
我自己来写好了 I'll just write the book myself, okay?
你要是能的话你就去写了 但你写不出来 Well, if you could you would, but you can't.
你和我是绑在一条绳上的蚂蚱 You're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you.
这是弗洛里安在芝士洞穴外 That's what Florian says to Claudette
对克劳黛说的 outside the cheese cave!
-我的天 这是我们的第三幕 -第三幕 - Oh my God! That's our third act! ‐ Third act!
-太好了 去烧点水 -好的 - Yes! Okay, go, put the kettle on. ‐ Yeah.
我很抱歉 我们得结束了 I'm terribly sorry. I'm gonna have to cut this short.
谢谢你来这一趟 Thank you for coming.
理查德昨晚告诉我这些点的时候 When Richard told me about the dots last night,
一开始我没在意 认为那是 initially, I dismissed it as the ranting
自我伤害的傻瓜的咆哮 of a self‐sabotaging idiot.
但几小时之后 我在二楼的 But a few hours later when I woke up
一间男厕所里醒来后 in a stall in the second story men's bathroom,
我意识到了些事 I realized something.
你酗酒吗 That you're an alcoholic?
可能吧 但也是高功能的 Perhaps, but high‐functioning.
就像我们的网络一样 Much like our network. To wit...
我们的内部消息系统是在互利聊基础上搭建的 Our internal messaging, based on HooliChat,
靠的是一个叫做P‐256的 uses a weak encryption standard
加密标准 known as P‐256.
不管理查德相不相信 Whether Richard believes it or not,
我们的网络把它破解了 our network cracked it.
谁允许它这么做的 Who allowed it to do that?
我们 当时我们只给了它一个目标 We did, when we gave it one job.
让自己更有效率 To make itself more efficient.
它开发出了多项式时间内 It developed a general solution
离散对数的通用解 to discrete log in polynomial time.
什么 What?
这是好事还是坏事 Okay, is this a good thing or a bad thing?
来个人告诉我应当怎么感受 Someone tell me how to feel.
对你来说是绝望的恐怖 从那里开始 Abject terror for you. Build from there.
上线后 Once launched,
我们不再相信的加密
我们的人工智能就会继续学习 our AI will keep learning to break
破解更多的复杂防御 more and more sophisticated parameters.
到最后这就意味着隐私的终结 Ultimately, this will mean the end of privacy.
电网 Electrical grids,
金融机构 financial institutions,
每一个核武器的密码 the nuclear launch codes for every single nuclear weapon.
全都会被曝光 All will be exposed.
纯粹的暴力会变成唯一的权力 Pure violence will become the only basis of power.
别说这些末日废土 Spare us the apocalyptic desert planet
的科幻垃圾了 弗兰克·赫伯特 scifi bullshit, Frank Herbert.
弗兰克·赫伯特是写过一系列... Uh, Frank Herbert was a writer who wrote a series of...
我知道谁是弗兰克·赫伯特 I know who fucking Frank Herbert is.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这是性别歧视吗 Was that gendered?
-那是性别歧视 -好吧 吉尔弗约尔 - That was gendered. - Okay, Gilfoyle.
就算你说的都是对的 Even if everything you're saying is right,
那就是我们目前的方向 and that's where we're headed,
一定有办法修复的吧 there's gotta be a way to fix it.
修什么 理查德 Fix what, Richard?
这网络在做我们让它做的事 The network is doing exactly what we told it to do.
人工智能在优化压缩 The AI is optimizing the compression
压缩也在优化人工智能 and the compression is optimizing the AI.
任何让它变得成功的东西 Everything that makes it successful
也在让它变得危险 is exactly what makes it dangerous.
这是功能 不是报错 It's a feature, not a bug.
不不不不不 No , no, no. Okay, no.
我们该怎么办 What are we gonna do about it?
你有什么建议 What do you suggest we do about it?
你非要逼我说出来 You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?
好吧 Fine.
我们造了一个怪物 We built a monster.
我们得杀了它 We need to kill it.
-操 -你疯了吗 - Fuck. - Are you out of your mind?
不不不不不吉尔弗约尔 No, no, no, no, no, Gilfoyle.
首先我们没有创造一个怪物 We didn't build a monster, first of all.
我们造出了这世界上最厉害的网络 We built the single greatest fucking network, ever, in the world.
这很重要 That's the big one.
我没太听清 你想杀了它 And I'm sorry, you wanna kill it?
现在 现在 现在 Now? Now? Now?
我们就快要到终点线了 We are inches away from the finish line.
你他妈的想杀了它 You wanna fucking kill it?
我们成功了 我们造出来了 它成功了 We did it, man! We built it! It works!
它就需要一些帮助 我们能够修好的 It just needs a little help! We just gotta fix it, okay?
我们不会杀了它 We don't kill it!
疯了吧 杀掉你自己还差不多 That's crazy, man! Kill yourself is the thing.
草你妈的 Fuck you.
我是说 I mean...
疯了 that's crazy.
当人们问起魔笛手时 When people ask me about Pied Piper,
我的回答总是相同的 I always tell them the same thing.
劳里·布里姆 前投资人
还有什么问题吗 Are there other questions?
是的 能详细点吗 Uh, yeah. Can you elaborate?
好 yes.
能说下吗 Will you?
省省吧 贾里德 我没心情听人鼓劲 Save it, Jared. I'm not in the mood for a pep talk.
如果说我从格瓦特的相处中学到了什么 You know, if I learned anything from my time with Gwart,
那就是倾听的力量 it's the power of just listening.
吉尔弗约尔太操蛋了 Fucking Gilfoyle.
关掉它 特么在逗我吧 Shut it down? Are you fucking kidding me?
我们要前功尽弃吗 Throw everything away that we've been working toward?
更何况我们还有 Not to mention the fact that we have a contract
数十亿美元的合同 worth billions of dollars.
确实不少钱 Yeah, that's a lot of money.
其他人怎么办 And what about all the other stuff we're gonna do?
我是指那些需要互联网服务的人群 I mean, give internet to underserved communities,
作业遇到困难的学生 难民 基因组研究 students in the homework gap, refugees, genomic research.
魔笛手还能帮助科学家治疗癌症 Pied Piper can help scientists cure cancer.
-癌症确实很可怕 -癌症就他妈很可怕 - And cancer is bad. - Cancer fuckin' sucks!
谁想得癌症 没有人 "Hey, I'd like some cancer, please." No.
我们有了这个可爱的宝宝 And we have this beautiful baby,
只是有点变态 who is a little sick...
但现在它成了恶魔 But, apparently, it's now the devil,
因为我们必须杀掉它 and we have to kill it.
我主张带它去看医生 但 I vote we take it to the doctor, but fuck.
我的养母也觉得我是恶魔 I had a foster mother who thought I was the devil
应该杀掉我 and that she had to kill me.
我想这对她来说很痛苦 And I think it was pretty traumatizing for her.
而吉尔弗约尔愚蠢而疯狂的 And the odds...
"末日方案" of Gilfoyle's stupid crazy doomsday scenario
真正成功的概率 actually coming true are...
你看 咱们国家核武器库都几十年了 I mean, we've had a nuclear arsenal for decades,
我们不还是好好的 除了几次 and we're fine. I mean, outside of a couple...
小小的危险 确切地说是两次 substantial blips. Two in particular.
我们还是很安全的 I'd say we're safer.
真正杀掉我们的是压力 The real killer is stress.
是啊 好吧 Okay, sure, fine.
奥本海默[物理学家]有句名言 Oppenheimer famously said he regretted
他说自己后悔制造原子弹 并在绝望中死去 building the atom bomb and died in despair,
但现在说这些还他妈有什么用 but what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
奥本海默 真是个自恋狂 Oppenheimer. What a self-obsessed little bitch.
我们该怎么办 啊 我们该怎么办 What are we supposed to do, huh? What are we supposed to do?
草他妈的吉尔弗约尔 我们就打给AT&T Fucking Gilfoyle. We'll just call up AT&T
说我们的网络实在太强 and say that our network is so good
以至于它终将成为某种"末日设备" that it'll eventually become some doomsday device,
出于道义 我们别无选择 and we have no moral option but to destroy it
在让你们发布之前 我们只好毁掉它 before we let you release it? I mean...
我们不能这么干 不能 We're not doing it! We're not. We're not.
理查德 Hey, Richard.
你觉得该怎么做 我们就怎么做 Whatever you think is best, that's what we're gonna do.
他们刚立了广告牌 I mean, they just put up the billboard.
她还挺厉害的 She's a beauty, right?
草泥马 抱歉各位 Fuck! Sorry, guys.
-吉尔弗约尔是对的 -你认真的吗 - Gilfoyle's right. - Seriously?
我们真的要这么做吗 我们不启动了 We're seriously doing this? We're canceling the launch?
不 不仅如此 Well, no. Uh, ha, that's not enough.
我们的网络很危险 Our network is dangerous.
如果我们只是不启动或关掉它 If we cancel it or shut it down,
那么其他人会尝试复制 then others will try to copy
或者逆向工程我们建立的一切 or reverse engineer everything that we've built.
就像 It's like...
四分钟跑一英里一样简单 It's like the four minute mile.
直到有人成功前 Everybody thought it was impossible,
所有人都以为不可能 until someone did it,
然后所有人都开始做 and then everybody started doing it
因为他们知道能成 because they knew it could be done.
第一个四分钟跑完一公里的人
没错 罗杰·班尼斯特说的 Right. Roger Bannister.
现在 想象一下他心脏骤停 Now, imagine he'd gone into cardiac arrest
自动放弃 最后死了 and evacuated on himself and died.
而当他垂死前偷看着自己的运动短裤下面 And as he lay there with his prolapsed anus
躺在那里 耷拉着小鸡鸡时 peeking beneath the running shorts on his newly dead body,
人们扮鬼脸嘲笑了他 the crowd jeered and grimaced.
那就是我们的下场 That is what has to happen to us.
我们必须悲惨地弄死自己 We have to shit ourselves to death.
他说得对 He's right.
我们的发布必须失败 Our launch has to fail, publicly...
公开且悲壮地失败 and spectacularly.
听听你们这些白痴 Are you dumbfucks listening to yourselves?
我在听 Because I am,
你们这些白痴 and you are dumb.
去他妈的 And fucks.
吉尔弗约尔宁可毁掉我们建立的一切 Gilfoyle is willing to destroy everything we've built
也不想让我赚到钱 just to prevent me from having money!
有趣 Interesting.
那是迪尼希的特斯拉 Is that Dinesh's Tesla?
什么 What?
-车里没人啊 -是的 - There's no one in it. - Correct.
你手机上有特斯拉的软件 You have the Tesla mobile app on your phone,
它是通过魔笛手网络沟通的 which communicates over the Pied Piper network.
几小时前 我委派该网络 A few hours ago, I tasked said network
向我提供你的TLS密钥 with providing me your TLS encryption key,
它就给我了 which it just gave me.
为了证实密码是对的 To verify that that key was correct,
我决定让你的车 I decided to autodrive your car
自己开去艾尔卡米诺洗车 to the car wash on El Camino.
显然密码是对的 It appears the key was correct,
对吧 no?
小心 夏洛特 Be careful, Charlotte.
特斯拉用的什么加密技术 What encryption does Tesla use?
25519曲线 Curve 25519,
现存最安全的 the most secure...
离散对数参数 discrete log parameter there is.
不再是了 Not anymore.
它的菊花都被我们的网络爆没了 Our network just blew it apart like a prolapsed anus.
仅仅花了2小时47分钟 In only two hours and 47 minutes.
-检方陈述完毕 -好了 迪尼希 - The prosecution rests. - Okay, Dinesh,
他们说得对 我们必须得失败 they're right. We have to fail,
而且必须看起来像一起事故 and it has to look like an accident,
否则我们都得蹲大牢 or else we could all go to prison.
-我做不到 -你当然做得到 - No, I cannot do it. - Of course you can.
你这一生都在为公开惨败做准备 Your entire life has prepared you to publicly fail.
你此刻只是没能看清这一点而已 You're just failing to see that right now.
少羞辱我 要说失败我比你们强一百倍 Don't insult me. I can fail circles around you losers.
但我真的会吗 But will I?
我跟你们说实话吧 I'm gonna be honest with you.
不是贬低我自己 No offense to me,
但是我又贪心 又不可靠 but I am greedy and unreliable,
几乎就是垃圾一坨 bordering on piece of shit.
如果我有机会 If there is a chance
阻止你们去阻止自己 我一定会出手 to stop you guys from stopping you guys, I will do it.
我会破坏你们的破坏计划 I will sabotage your sabotage.
所以 如果这个公司想失败 So, if this company needs to fail
想一败到底永不翻身 epically, like fucking fail...
那就不能让我参与 you need to do it without me.
撤销我的安全许可 Revoke my permissions.
删除我的魔笛手邮箱账号 Delete my PiperMail account.
我会像个小白一样用谷歌邮箱 I will use Gmail like a fucking basic bitch.
千万不要让我接近你们的发布会 Don't let me anywhere near that launch.
我可能会求你们 可能会欺骗你们 I may beg, and I will lie to you.
不过我没钱 没法贿赂你们 I cannot bribe you because I don't have any money.
但我确实是个累赘 But I am too much of a liability.
我从没听过这么有勇气的懦夫发言 That is the most courageous act of cowardice I've ever seen.
全他妈因为少了一个点 All this because of a fucking dot.
迪尼希的车在温迪快餐厅的取餐车道上 Dinesh's car is at the Wendy's driveThru.
谁饿了 Anybody hungry?
魔笛网 They call it PiperNet,
魔笛网明日上线
就要来到你的手机了 and it's coming to your phone.
明天中午 魔笛手应用将正式登陆 Tomorrow at noon, the Pied Piper app will go live
最新的5G苹果与安卓手机 on the latest 5G-Equipped iOS and Android phones
魔笛手与AT&T明日发布重大新技术产品
全国十大一线城市率先尝鲜 in 10 major cities across the country.
AT&T声称 如果一切顺利 AT&T says, if things go as planned,
一年内将有超过五亿设备安装魔笛网 PiperNet could be on more than a half billion devices within a year.
魔笛手与AT&T蓄势待发
最兴奋的莫过于技术狂热粉了 And no one is more excited than technology super fans,
比如我身后的这群人 like the ones behind me,
他们在店外彻夜守候 ...who are camping out all night to snag
只为率先得到安装魔笛网的限量版手机 a limited edition Pied Piper-Equipped smartphone.
从他们的热情来看 If their enthusiasm is anything to go by,
还会有更多人排队掏钱吹响魔笛 then a lot more people may soon be lining up to pay the piper.
KCTW 吉姆·基特曼为您报道 I'm Jim Gittman, KCTW.
魔笛手与AT&T将发布重大产品
好了谢谢大家 All right, thanks, everyone! Appreciate y'all! Okay!
我懂你 我懂你 I see you! I see you!
有谁想吃熊爪包 Hey, does anyone want a bear claw?
我刚刚买多了吃不了 I just bought too many at the store,
所以我现在免费赠送 so I'm going around giving them away
-如果有谁想吃熊爪包 -哇 - if anybody wants a Bear claw or a cruller or... - Woa.
你居然有魔笛手老鼠夹克 You got one of the Pied Piper ratjacks made?
等等 这夹克还有个酷外号吗 Wait, there's a cool nickname for the jackets?
是啊 上面还绣了迪尼希的名字 Yeah, you even got Dinesh embroidered.
我也最喜欢他 Oh, he's my favorite, too.
等等 Wait.
我的天啊 老天啊 Oh my God. Holy shit!
哥们 他就是迪尼希 Dude, it's Dinesh!
对 我就是迪尼希·丘格塔伊 Yeah, Dinesh. I'm Dinesh Chugtai.
我是魔笛手的联合创始人 I'm the cofounder of Pied Piper,
这也是原版的老鼠夹克 in an original ratjack.
我都等不及明天了 I can't wait for tomorrow!
别担心明天了 今天就行 Don't worry about tomorrow! Today!
去她妈的明天 Fuck tomorrow!
-我能拍张自拍吗 -当然当然 - Can I get a selfie? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-太感谢了 -来吧 - Okay, thank you! - Here we go.
我是魔笛手 I am Pied Piper.
-我是魔笛手 -我是魔笛手 - I am Pied Piper. - I am Pied Piper.
我是魔笛手 I am Pied Piper...
-准备好了吗 -一切就绪 - Are we set? - Locked and loaded.
等你一上台 我写的脚本 The script I wrote will push a new build
就会从办公室的超级节点推送一个新版本 from the supernode at the office the second you step on stage.
这里的人都看不到 等到应用上线 No one here will see it. When we go live,
所有节点将通过公用的 all the nodes should start broadcasting noise
信号带宽广播噪音 across common communication bands,
导致手机信号阻塞 蓝牙失效 jamming cell signals, knocking out Bluetooth,
还会让所有定位设备错位几里地 and fucking up every GPS unit for miles.
-很好 -是 - Good. - Yeah.
我们会被迫下线魔笛网 They'll force us to shut it down...
然后就都结束了 then it'll all be over.
很好 Good.
是啊 很好 Yeah. Good.
该死 Fuck.
理查德 要开始了 Richard? We're about to start.
好 我们走 该开始了 Yeah, let's go. Okay, here we go.
我是魔笛手 I am Pied Piper.
你好 我是迪尼希·丘格塔伊 Hi. Uh, my name is Dinesh Chugtai.
我想确认下今天发布会的宾客名单没有我 I wanna make sure I am not on the list for the launch today.
丘格塔伊 这里没有你的名字 Chugtai. Um... I don't see your name here.
很好 那就好 Okay, that's great.
请再确认一下VIP名单上没有我的名字 could you also make sure there are no VIP lists I might be on?
丘格塔伊 怎么读得就怎么拼 Chugtai. Spelled how it's pronounced.
-好的 -丘 - Okay. Uh... - "Chu,"
格塔伊 and then "Gtai."
没 也没有 No, not here either.
这些保安 Oh, and these security guards?
是最优秀的吗 他们会拦住我吗 Are they your best guys? Like, will they stop me?
会对我动粗吗 Would they fuck me up?
-抱歉... -十分感谢 - I'm sorry, we-- - Thank you so much.
我要的就是你这种回应 That's exactly the response I was looking for.
我十分确信我今天无法进入发布会现场 I feel very confident I will not be getting into the launch today.
谢谢你帮不上忙 Thank you for not helping.
别让我进去 Don't let me through.
我们是魔笛手 We are Pied Piper!
魔笛网官方全球发布会
我是理查德·亨德里克斯 创始人和CEO I am Richard Hendricks, founder and CEO,
我十分激动地欢迎大家 and I am thrilled to welcome you all
来到魔笛网官方发布会 to the official launch of Pied Piper.
魔笛网官方全球发布会
-约翰 -嗨 ‐Hey, John. ‐Yeah.
你的热水 Here's your hot water.
好的 Okay.
盖布 Hey, Gabe?
这里有点奇怪 There's something weird here.
怎么了 What is it?
他们即将发布的代码 The code they're about to launch‐‐
不是我们之前添加的编译版本 it isn't the build we shipped.
有人重添加了一个新版 Someone just pushed a new build.
约翰 Hey, John?
干嘛 Yeah?
这是个错误 That's a mistake.
我们应该改回正确的代码 We should change it back to the right code.
好的 Okay.
又快又强大 Fast and powerful.
和你有点像 安德烈·伊戈达拉 Sounds a little bit like you, Andre Iguodala.
-太棒了 -没错 理查德·亨德里克斯 ‐Yes! ‐ That's right, Richard Hendricks.
作为NBA最佳防守阵容中的一员 And as a member of the NBA's all‐defensive first team,
我对网络安全略知一二 I know a little something about cybersecurity.
你会认为魔笛手是你的MVP吗 Would you say that Pied Piper is your MVP?
最有价值手机 "Most valuable phone"?
[MVP=最有价值球员 最有价值球员]
我认为是的 Yeah, I would.
迪尼希 Uh, hey, Dinesh?
盖布 你怎么在这儿 Gabe, what are you doing here?
你不接电话也不回短信 You weren't answering your calls or texts,
所以我过来找你 so I came here from the office.
他们上传的软件版本 So, um, a weird version of the software, uh...
有点奇怪 所以... was put online, so, uh...
所以怎样 So?
所以我把它恢复成我们的初版了 So, I reverted it to the version we shipped.
我带来了那个奇怪的版本... Oh, I have the original weird one here...
里面还有一些我在夏威夷的照片 There's some photos of me in Hawaii.
所以这个是本来要发布的版本 So, this was the version that was about to be deployed,
但你把它换掉了 then you switched it,
现在我们即将发布旧的版本 and now we're about to launch the older version?
是的 Yes.
如果我什么也不做 So, if I do nothing,
完全什么也不做... absolutely nothing...
-什么也不做 -"正确"的网络版本 ‐Nothing? ‐The "correct" version
就会被发布 of the network would launch?
你这个手势是什么意思 Uh, what do you mean by when you do that?
我就活动一下手指 Just stretching my fingers.
在我挂断前 能否告诉我 But before I go, can you tell me,
谁把狗放出来了 who let the dogs out?
*谁把狗放出来了* *Who let the dogs out?*
该死 好了走吧 谢谢 Damn it! Okay, go. Thank you.
有事留言 Leave a message.
另外 去你妈的 迪尼希 Also, Fuck you, Dinesh.
超级节点在楼顶 The supernode on the roof.
掌声送给汪汪门洛 Give it up for Menlo Bark!
它们是不是很追人 Weren't they fetching?
我操 这谁他妈写的破词 Fucking hell, who wrote this shit?
伙计们 逗号 Guys! Comma.
我们碰到该死的大问题了 We have a huge fucking problem!
句号 该死的盖布 Period. Fucking Gabe
把代码恢复到旧版本了 reverted to the old build!
感叹号 感叹号 Exclamation point, exclamation point!
我收到迪尼希发的群消息 I got a group text from Dinesh.
"伙计们 都好 渴死概率 "Guys, come on. Fun king games
带路旧蓝论" pervert Oldsmobile"?
-什么玩意 -我已经... ‐ What? ‐ Okay, so I've...
向大家展示了我们的... shown you our...
去中心化的通用数据交换 decentralized universal data exchange,
我们的防篡改存储机制 our tamper‐proof storage.
我展示给你们的是 只有你们自己 I've shown you that you, and you alone,
才能控制自己的个人数据和身份信息 will control your personal data and your identity.
我们... All‐‐
我们魔笛手的所有人都为此 all of us here at Pied Piper have worked
投入了万分的努力 so hard on this.
我们为这个项目度过了 We have given six sleepless,
六年不休不眠惨无人道的时光 brutal years to this project,
我 and I am...
我为我们达成的成就感到非常骄傲 so proud of what we've done.
我的导师... Uh, so my mentor...
已故的彼得·格里高利 the late Peter Gregory, uh,
是我们创造道路上的引路人 put us on the path to what we've created here.
他称之为 He called it,
"我们应得的网络" "The internet we deserve."
我们一路奋斗 We have fought every step of the way
就是为了呈上有史以来最棒的网络 to bring you the greatest network ever made,
再过5分42秒 ha. And in, uh... five minutes, 42 seconds,
奋斗就圆满了 that fight is over.
楼顶入口 禁止入内 无授权人员止步
警告 用户迪尼希试图登入7号超级节点
混蛋 Son of a bitch.
迪尼希 你个恐怖分子 Dinesh, you fucking terrorist,
你他妈想干嘛 what the fuck are you doing?
打飞机呢 Are you jerking off?
还是做俯卧撑呢 Or did you do one push up?
别犯浑 Quit being a fucking bitch.
我先表态 我已决心 Let me then make clear that I am determined upon our...
这是我的一小步 That's one small step for a man,
却是人类的一大步 one giant leap for mankind.
喂 Hello?
迪尼希在哪儿 Dinesh is where?
-让他滚啊 -你跟他说吧 - Tell him to fuck off. ‐ You tell him.
我在呢 我打群组电话 听得见 It's me! I'm here. I'm merged and I can hear you.
等等 Hold on.
我们都进来了 We're all merged in.
理查德 干得漂亮 Richard, you are doing a great job.
贾里德 闭嘴 理查德 转身 Jared, shut up. Richard, turn around.
我在你后面 I'm behind you.
迪尼希说盖布通过办公室的超级节点 Dinesh says that Gabe reverted us back to the prior build
把添加的版本恢复到了初始版本 from the supernode at the office.
我无法验证 我不在超级节点那儿 I cannot verify this because I'm not at a supernode.
我在舞台另一边 你看见的 I'm across the stage from you, as you can see.
但是迪尼希在 他在楼顶 But Dinesh is. He's on the roof.
他要我给他发布版本的授权 He wants me to give him back his permissions to deploy.
我才能发布正确的编译版本 So I can push out the right build.
不对是错的那个 就那个版本 伙计们 The wrong...the build, guys!
就是我们讨论过的那个 The build we talked about!
能拯救世界 但使我贫穷的那个编译版本 The build that saves the world, but makes me poor!
问题是 我们信他吗 Question is, do we believe him?
坦白说 他不可信的理由太多了 In fairness, there are a lot of reasons not to trust him,
比如他告诉我们别信他 such as he told us not to trust him.
-相信我 -但我们该信他那句话吗 - Believe me! ‐ But do we trust that?
就一次 我想做正确的事 For once, I wanna do the right thing!
理查德 我需要答案 Richard, I'm gonna need an answer.
没时间了 I don't have much time.
这世界的命运就在你一念之间了 The fate of the world literally relies on this.
理查德 时间到了 Richard, it's time.
-走吧 -好 ‐ Come on! ‐ Okay.
理查德 我们需要答案 Richard, we need an answer.
女士们先生们 我们还有 Ladies and gentlemen, we are at...
十 九 Ten, nine,
八 eight,
七 六 seven, six...
-去他妈的 迪尼希 给你权限 -五 ‐ Fuck it. Dinesh, you're in. ‐ Five,
四 four,
三 three,
此节点已成功更新至魔笛网固件版本1.0.3
二 一 two, one!
女士们先生们 魔笛手网络 Ladies and gentlemen, Pied Piper network...
正式上线 is officially live!
气球落下来了 这是好兆头还是坏的 The balloons are falling. Is that a good sign or a bad sign?
应用现在可以下载了 The app is now available!
-我们做到了 -你们在哪儿 - We did it! ‐ Where are you guys?
数据传输应该乱套了才对 有吗 Communications should be going haywire. Are they?
我能听见你说话 所以电话还能打 I can still hear you, so phones must be working.
交通也畅通 所以GPS应该也没问题 Traffic is moving, so GPS must be working.
没错 He's right.
魔笛手网络管理员 本区域设备信号
GPS显示我在这里 就站在你旁边 GPS says I'm here, standing next to you,
看来是准确的 which seems to be accurate.
迪尼希 你耍了我们 Dinesh, you fucked us.
不 不见得 我们的网络在制造噪音 No, he didn't. We are generating noise.
-好吧 抱歉 迪尼希 -没事 ‐ Oh, okay. Sorry, Dinesh. ‐ You're good.
我本也希望我能耍大家一把 I'd expect me to fuck us, too.
问题是 我们的噪音没大到 Problem. We haven't raised the noise far enough
能盖住蓝牙信号的程度 to drown out even Bluetooth.
好吧 所以我们在制造噪音 Okay, so we're generating noise,
但没大到会干扰到别的东西 but just not enough to interfere with anything?
我们到底成功没 Is this gonna work?
我们是刚赚了几十亿美金吗 Did we just make billions of dollars?!
要是我们有时间做测试就不会这样了 This wouldn't be happening if we had had time to test things.
他妈开玩笑 我们连主动搞砸这事都搞砸了 Fucking kidding me? We failed at failing?
等等 它们为什么一直叫 Wait, why are they barking?
糟了 Oh shit.
看来网络发出的干扰可能 Think we might be creating interference that's causing
让手机扬声器产生了共鸣 the speakers in the phones to resonate.
所以狗才叫个不停 And that's what bugging the dogs?
不 狗应该不会受这个频段影响 No. Dogs shouldn't be bothered by that frequency.
那它们到底叫什么 Well, then, what the fuck are they barking at?
女士们先生们 请保持镇定 Please, ladies and gentlemen, please stay calm!
不要慌 Don't panic!
我的老天爷啊 Dear sweet mother of God.
我们做了什么 What have we done?
突发新闻
这是现实版的童话变噩梦啊 In a fairy tale turned nightmare come to life,
魔笛手鼠患
今天几千只老鼠涌向旧金山街头 thousands of rats streamed onto the streets of San Francisco today.
魔笛手机制造出了 Pied Piper's phones broadcasting
鼠患淹没魔笛手发布会
强烈的超声波 intense ultrasonic sounds
天 老鼠 魔笛手的童话之灾
将老鼠逼了出来 that began repelling the rats.
老鼠肆虐AT&T网络发布会
西雅图街头变成了鼠雅图 The streets of Seattle became the streets of Sea‐rat‐tle,
魔笛手发布了...老鼠?
昨夜无人入睡 and everyone was sleepless.
巨人队的粉丝可以满意而归了 Giants fans going home happy today
小熊队今天一落千丈... as the Cubs go down swinging to the‐‐
老天 Holy shit!
他们管这叫"鼠患大游街" They're calling it "Rat‐mageddon." Yeah.
不过在纽约 不过就是个寻常周三而已 Except in New York, where they're calling it Wednesday.
他们真的成了魔笛手 They literally became the Pied Piper.
这事可造不了假 I mean, you can't make that up.
或许你不行 Yeah, maybe you couldn't...
但我可以 but I could.
他娘了个逼的 Oh, for fuck's sake.
每当提起科技圈的各个失败案例 When you think about a lot of the failures in tech‐‐
宠物网 治诊 我们工作 Pets.Com, Theranos, WeWork‐‐
遥遥领先的一定是魔笛手了 Pied Piper really is right at the top of that list.
魔笛手就是背在AT&T背上的千斤重担 Pied Piper is just a millstone around AT&T's neck!
魔笛手鼠灾惨败引发AT&T股票大跌 克莱默建议能抛就抛
要我说就快抛 快抛掉 罗斯·汉纳曼 风险投资人 I say dump it! Dump it now!
我他妈为了那帮家伙赔惨了 I lost so much fucking money with those guys.
被鼠操了 I got rat‐fucked.
我说了个双关语 That's a pun.
不过我都挣回来了 多亏我 I made it all back though. Sweet investment
投资了植发行业 in the hair transplant sector.
怎么 What?
老鼠 是的 我们这里有老鼠 Rats, ah, yes, we have some of them here.
象征意义上的 Figuratively.
已经被处理了 They are dealt with.
所以从即刻起 And so, effective immediately,
魔笛手关闭
我要关停魔笛手 I am shutting down Pied Piper,
删除公司的代码库 deleting its code repositories,
并清算所剩资产 and liquidating its remaining assets.
好了 声明念完了 All right. That's our statement.
我们不再接受任何... We will not be taking any further‐‐
我能说一句吗 我真的... Can I just say that I am just...
非常 深感抱歉 truly, deeply sorry.
魔笛手首席执行官颜面扫地 发布声明
我们一开始就不该创建这网络 Uh, this should never have been built.
它的核心就有技术缺陷 It is... technically flawed to its very core.
我们都应该谨记 And we should all remember that...
永志不忘 forevermore.
抱歉 Sorry .
魔笛手关闭
显然亨得里克斯先生刚才的发言并不具有 Obviously, Mr. Hendricks doesn't mean that in any
任何法律约束力 去享受生活吧各位 legally binding or actionable way. Get a life, guys.
魔笛手首席执行官颜面扫地 发布声明
好奇怪 It's weird.
魔笛手看起来似乎真能有效运行 It really seemed like Pied Piper was going to work.
比尔·盖茨 微软创始人及首席执行官
有些地方就是想不通啊 Something doesn't add up.
我做了正确的事 So, I did the right thing,
我助力拯救了世界 I helped save the world,
我的腿依然酸的不行 my legs are still super sore,
回报就是我穷得叮当响 and my reward is that I'm poor.
你以后有什么打算 What are you gonna do?
不知道 也许去教书 Not sure. Been thinking about teaching‐‐
不 没问你 No, not you.
我想或许消失一段时间吧 I think I might disappear for a bit.
也许去旅行 Maybe travel.
是啊 我没准也去旅行 Yeah, I might travel, too.
你想去哪儿呢 Where were you thinking?
至少这段时间 要是你假装生我气 It may help if, at least for the time being,
或许我会更好受 you pretend to be mad at me.
理查德 就算我在瓦萨辅修了世界戏剧专业 Look, Richard, I was a world theater minor at Vassar,
生你气这种荒诞剧情我也演不出来 but that is one Javanese shadow play that I cannot perform.
我们值得拥有的网络 AT&T 魔笛手 发行
好了各位 咱们开心点 Come on, guys, let's cheer up.
我们聚在一起是为了 I mean, we set out to build
建造有史以来最棒的东西 我们也做到了 the best thing ever built, and that's what we did,
不是吗 right?
我们成功了 We succeeded.
谁又能说 And who can say
自己真的拯救了世界呢 that they literally saved the world?
-不是吗 -我们不行 ‐ Right? ‐ Not us.
因为我们不能告诉别人我们真的做了什么 'Cause we can't tell anyone what we did.
也对 只是不能广而告之 不过 Right. Not out loud, but...
-你懂我 -沉默是我的座右铭 ‐ You know. ‐ Silence is on brand for me.
祝你好运 迪尼希 Good luck, Dinesh.
往好处想 On the bright side...
我又找到了一箱这种酒 I found another box of these.
那个... Well, uh...
我当时感觉有点丢人 I was, I was a little bit embarrassed, ha.
所以我就 Uh, so I just, uh,
躲起来了一段时间 我去旅行了 went off the grid for a bit. I‐I‐I traveled.
我去了西藏 想去找埃利希 I went to Tibet, actually, to try and find Erlich,
但是 他不在了 but, uh, he was gone.
然后 我回来了 And then, I came back,
但没人想雇佣魔笛手的操控者 but no one really wanted to hire the guy behind Pied Piper.
不过 Uh, however,
我最好的朋友还是雇佣了我 my best friend did hire me,
现在我是 and now I am the...
斯坦福大学的 Gavin Belson Professor
盖文·贝尔森科技道德教授 理查德·亨得里克斯教授
盖文·贝尔森科技道德教授 of, uh, Ethics in Technology at Stanford University.
我是尼尔森·达头蒂 My name is, uh, Nelson Bighetti,
我是斯坦福的校长 and I'm the president of Stamford.
斯坦福 Stanford.
你们这群毕业生身负重担 You graduates have a lot of responsibility.
斯坦福大学
完成各大运动赋予你们的重要使命 Finishing the important work of movements such as...
例如"井号遇上两个零"运动 "Pound Met double zero,"
"我也是"[反性侵运动] 《教育法第九修正案》[反性别歧视]
以及"法案十减一" and "Title icks."
虽然能猜到但还是 So, I think I know,
问一下 大家为什么管你叫大头 but‐but why do they call you Big Head?
哦 这个 男生嘛 一辈子长不大 Oh, yeah, just, you know, boys being boys.
就是嘲笑我的 大脑门呗 Making fun of my, my big old dome.
不是因为你姓达头蒂吗 It's not because your last name is Big‐hetti?
我联合创立的纽维尔路战略技术公司 I'm the cofounder of Newell Road Strategic Technologies,
目前是湾区最大的网络安全公司之一 one of the largest cybersecurity firms in the Bay Area.
我联合创立的 I am the cofounder of
纽维尔路战略技术公司 Newell Road Strategic Technologies,
-目前是湾区 -这不是我刚才的原话吗 ‐ one of the largest cyber... ‐ I literally just said that.
-最大的网络安全 -刚说过 ‐ ...security firms... ‐ I just said that.
-你刚刚听我说的 -公司之一 ‐ You heard me say that. ‐ ...In the Bay Area.
我说出来更好听 Things are better when I say them.
反正他们也会把你剪掉的 Plus, they're definitely going to edit you out.
人家都拍我了 为什么要剪掉我 你这话 If they're not gonna use it, why would they use it? That has‐‐
你要不要跟大家说说你买了我隔壁的房子 Why don't you tell them how you bought the house next to mine
-你就有这么爱我 -够了 ‐ because you love me so much. ‐ Okay,
去你妈的 fuck you.
各位怎么样 How's it going, guys?
开会了 Meeting time.
-一会开会 -必须参加 - We have a meeting. ‐ Mandatory.
我现在吗 为华府一个非营利机构工作 What do I do now? I, uh, I work for a non‐profit in DC.
是个智库 主要就是 It's a‐‐ it's a think tank, and‐and we just...
想想事情 什么的 think about... stuff, you know.
国安局咯 So, the NSA.
什么国安局 别逗了 The NSA? No, no, no.
八竿子打不着 不是国安局 Farthest thing from the NSA.
老天 国安局 真是 God. The NSA. That's...
你这问题可真够奇怪的 That's a really weird question to ask.
好的 果冻 Okay, Jell‐O.
我喜欢和老年人共事 一 二 一 二 I love working with the elderly. One, two, one, two.
就好像我突然有了很多父母 It's like I get to have a bunch of parents
但同时又是他们的父母 and also be their parent.
别别 马丁 马丁 No! No, no, no! Martin, Martin!
她眼里只有你 She only has eyes for you.
我们是女伴一样的跳舞 没别的意思 We were dancing as girlfriends, that's it.
今年秋天 住院的那些老人里还爆发了 This fall, we actually had a herpes epidemic
一场疱疹 医学上讲的确不大好 among the residents, which is bad medically, but...
但换个角度想 也挺感人的 from another perspective, it's kind of touching.
我们在去养老院的路上 Okay, we're on our way to the hostel.
老天 我好久没去过了 God, I haven't been there in such a long time.
那段时间 It was just an...
真是我人生中最不可思议的一段了 it was an incredible time in my life, you know?
在那之前 我从没想过我还能有 I never really thought that I would have
一群男性友人 a group of male friends.
我总觉得男人都太凶太强硬什么的 但 You know, men just seem kinda mean and hard, but...
他们真的是又可爱 these guys were as sweet
又软 像腐烂的水果 and soft as rotten fruit.
你带书看了吗 You got your book?
《普吉湾的王子》 Prince of Puget Sound?
朱迪 Oh, Judy!
你好啊 伙计 Hey, man.
你好 伙计 Hey, man.
你还好吗 You okay?
是吧 Yeah.
好久没见你了 I haven't seen you in forever.
上周末刚见过 I saw you last weekend.
你看着不错 You look great.
我是 Is that...
我是闻到女香了吗 is that a woman's scent?
中性古龙水 No, it's unisex.
大头 Big Head?
你好 我是尼尔森 Hey, Nelson.
我工作中见过很多痴呆患者 I work a lot with people who have dementia,
我希望你知道 and I just want you to know,
痴呆也可以过得不那么惨不忍睹的 it doesn't have to be a horror show.
是吗 酷 Oh, cool.
-好了 人齐了 -走吧 ‐ Well hey, we're all here. ‐ Let's go.
去见靳阳吧 Let's go see Jian‐Yang, heh.
-没事吧 理查德 -没事 ‐ You okay? Richard! ‐ Fine.
您 您好 请问 Uh... , hi there. Is, uh,
靳阳在吗 is Jian‐Yang here?
他还住在这里吗 我们是他的老朋友 Does he live here? We're‐‐ we're all old friends of his.
他不在 抱歉 No, I'm sorry.
我几年前从他遗产里买了这栋房产 I bought the house years ago from his estate.
遗产 Estate?
抱歉你们从我这里听到这个消息 I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this,
但靳阳已经死了 but Jian‐Yang's dead.
他死了 您看之后怎么拍 Okay, so he's dead. What do we do?
不一样了 但也没怎么变 It's different, but also the same.
吉尔弗约尔 Hey, Gilfoyle.
之前你那个恐怖一角 现在漂亮多了 That's your horrible corner. It looks much better now.
变了一点 Changed a little bit.
他们把我砸的洞补上了 They fixed my hole.
别再把门踹破了 Don't do it again.
不不 当然不会 No, I wouldn't. Obviously.
那时我情绪正冲 I was emotionally charged.
看这窗帘 Oh, the drapes.
选得亚麻挺有趣的 Oh, that's a playful linen.
-你好 我以前住在这里 -你好 ‐ Hi. I used to live here... ‐ Hey.
以前还穷的时候 ...Back when I was poor.
-不错 -抱歉 不是要说你穷 ‐ Cool. ‐ No offense.
我也没觉得穷 None taken, I guess.
-达头蒂校长 -哇 ‐ President Bighetti? ‐ Whoa!
-你怎么知道我叫什么 -我在斯坦福上学 ‐ How did‐‐ how'd you know my name? ‐ I go to Stanford.
是吗 好巧 我在斯坦福工作 Oh, no way! I work at Stanford.
-我是校长 -我知道 ‐ I'm the president. ‐ Yeah, I know.
您来这里做什么 What are you doing here?
不知道 大概因为靳阳死了吧 I don't know. I think 'cause Jian‐Yang died?
-不是很确定 -那是谁 好吧 ‐ I'm not sure. ‐ Who's that? Okay.
感觉好奇怪啊 我们都回来了 So weird we're all back here.
除了靳阳 因为他已经死了 Except for Jian‐Yang because he's dead.
还有埃利希 And Erlich.
有人跟埃利希联系过吗 Has anyone talked to Erlich?
没 没有 但不论他在哪 Nope. No. But wherever he is,
希望他还没挥霍光他那些钱 I hope he hasn't blown through all that money.
他绝对花光了 He definitely has.
是啊 绝对是那样 Yeah, I'm sure he has.
我们要找埃利希·巴赫曼 We're looking for Erlich Bachman.
在之前的村落 他们说他人在这里 In the other village, they said that he was here.
埃利希·巴赫曼在这里吗 Is‐is Erlich Bachman here?
他在这里 往这边走吗 He's here? He's that way?
-在这里吗 -埃利希·巴赫曼 ‐ It's up here? ‐ Erlich Bachman!
所以这是埃利希·巴赫曼的住所吗 So, this is Erlich Bachman's house?
-埃利希·巴赫曼 -好极了 ‐ Erlich Bachman! ‐ Fantastic.
我们是来见埃利希·巴赫曼的 We're just here to see Erlich Bachman.
有人吗 Hello?
有人在吗 Hello?
别激动别激动 我们没恶意 Whoa, whoa, easy, easy. We're‐we're friends.
你是埃利希·巴赫曼吗 Are you Erlich Bachman?
对 我是埃利希·巴赫曼 Yes. I'm Errich Bachman.
我可以给你们看证件 I can show you ID.
埃利希·巴赫曼 魔笛手投资人
我就长那样 我之前是个肥子 That's my face. I was a‐fat,
但现在已经瘦了 but now, I'm a‐not fat.
加利福尼亚州驾照 姓: 巴赫曼 名: 埃利希
抱歉 你说这人是你 I'm sorry, this is supposed to be you?
我有个主意 I have an idea.
好吧 哎呦 Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa‐‐
我会让这个世界变得更美好 I'm making the world a better place
通过创建一个半自动的智能代理 through an intelligent, semi‐autonomous agent,
拥有分布式DNA网络计算内核 powered by distributed, DNA‐based compute
可以自动完成日程规划 that automates personal planning and scheduling.
蠢货 听起来烂透了 Oh, bots. Sounds like an atrocity.
就谨祝愿你做得比我们好吧 Let's just hope you have better success than we did.
你们之前开的是什么公司 Oh, what company did you have?
又来了 Oh, here we go.
魔笛手 Uh, Pied Piper.
没错 Yep.
我没听说过 I'm unfamiliar...
鼠患横行 Rat invasion...
我们 我们真是一败涂地 We... we were a big failure.
八十亿美元的估值 Eight billion dollar valuation,
一夜之间蒸发 down to zero in one day.
那是家社交媒体公司吗 Was that, like, a social media company?
-什么 魔笛手 -你他妈逗我们玩呢吧 - What? Pied Piper. ‐ Are you fucking with us?
多谢你们抽出时间赐教 Thank you guys so much for your time.
伙计们 Hey, guys.
猜猜我不小心把什么带出来了 Guess what I accidentally brought in my bag.
不是吧 Oh, no way.
我们记得这是什么 We know this thing.
我们要玩的话我得喝杯啤酒才行 I need a beer if we're gonna do this.
理查德 小心点 Richard, be careful.
-可以让我玩吗 -一直蓝色 ‐ Can I do it? ‐ Always blue!
一直蓝色 一直蓝色 Always blue! Always blue!
一直蓝色 一直蓝色 Always blue! Always blue...
-好吧 -一直蓝色 ‐ Okay. ‐ Always blue.
一直蓝色 一直蓝色 Always blue! Always blue!
一直蓝色 Always blue!
一直蓝色 Always blue! Aah!
后悔吗 Regrets? Uh...
不会 No.
不 我挺开心 No, I'm‐I'm happy.
你不会 不会觉得遗憾吗 And you don't, you don't feel bad
你没机会让这世界 that you never got to...
变得更美好 make the world a better place?
我觉得我们干得还行 I think we did okay.
我 I...
其实可以 actually could, um...
我还留着 I... I still have it.
一份魔笛手 One copy of the...
代码库的复制件 Pied Piper codebase.
我存在一个U盘上 我可以给你们看看 I have it on a thumb drive. I could show it to you.
我们不会 We won't...
仔细看里面的代码 但 look into it, but, um...
我就想让你们看一眼 I just wanna show it to you.
上面有些东西我觉得 It's just got a couple things on there that I think...
说实话那就是 I, honestly, this was like
我们写代码水平的高峰时期 when we were coding the best we ever were,
所以上面的有些代码 so some pieces of this thing are...
堪称完美 sheer elegance.
我真希望我能给所有人看 I wish I could show it to everybody
因为我想给我的学生看看 because I wanna show it to my students.
不是在我的课堂上 但别的 Not my class, but another...
我明明记得就放在桌子抽屉里 I know it was in the desk.
奇了怪了 Okay, this is weird.
妈的 好吧 Shit, okay.
放哪去了 Where is it?
那是一个 橘红色的 这么大 It's or‐‐ it's orange. It's this big.
就是个U盘 It's just a thumb drive.
有人 你们哪个工作人员见过吗 So, is anyone‐‐ have any of your crew seen it or anything?
我是说 明明放在这 I mean... right here.
奇了怪 That's insa...
我放在 I had the...
绝对就在抽屉里 It's gotta be in the desk.
出什么问题了吗 Is it a problem?
不 没什么事 Um, no, not a problem. Um...
就是挺奇怪的 不过 It's just pretty fascinating. Although...
如果不在这里 if it isn't here...
能去哪了呢 where is it?