英格兰北部
餐厅
能给我来一份早餐吗 Can I have some breakfast please?
一杯咖啡加一个培根三明治共3镑 It's 3 quid for a cup of coffee and a bacon sandwich.
如果要加热的话 得另外加10镑 And obviously if you want it heated up it is another tenner.
好吧 Ok.
是橙红色的这个钱 对吧 That's the orange ones, right?
停车费要再加10镑 And it's another tenner to park your jeep.
没问题 Of course.
给 There you go.
搞什么啊 小可爱 你要知道他这是在... Excuse me, love. You do realise that he's taking the...
你何不去洗手间呢 曼迪 Why don't you go to the bathroom, Mandy?
用大镜子来化妆 Use the big mirror - eh?
就算给猪涂上口红 也还是猪 You can put lipstick on a pig, man. It's still a pig.
行了行了 滚你妈的 Yeah! Yeah! Fuck Off!
我可以用下你的洗手间吗 May I use your bathroom?
当然可以 亲爱的 Of course you can, darling.
要10镑 Ten pounds.
有什么事吗 Can I help?
你为什么要替一个对你说话那么无礼的人工作 Why do you work for a man who speaks to you like that?
我也不知道 亲爱的 No idea darling.
可能跟我嫁给那个混蛋的原因一样 It's probably the same reason that I married the bastard.
你为什么还不跟一个不爱你的男人离婚 Why do you stay married to a man who doesn't love you?
你好古怪啊 You are weird.
你是外国人吗 听口音不像啊 You foreign or something? You don't sound foreign.
算是吧 Sort of.
能给我用一点吗 Can I have some of that?
拿去吧 亲爱的 反正也是便宜货 Just have the lot, darling. It is cheap shit anyway.
听着 我丈夫刚刚骗取了你的钱财 And listen. That fellow of mine just stole from you.
你知道这点 对吧 You do know that, don't you?
你有时候可以当个混蛋 卡尔 你知道... You can be a right arsehole sometimes, Carl. You know that...
我操啊 The fuck...
猪哼哼
停下 Stop
一切都还好吧 Is everything okay?
不 不好 Not really, no.
你忘拿你的培根三明治了 You forgot your bacon sarnie.
不用了 曼迪 That's okay,
我今天遇到的猪够多了 不用吃猪肉了 Mandy. I've had enough pig for one day.
天呐 一下子戳进我眼睛里了 God. Got me right in the eye.
那个... You know what,
如果你不介意 还是把三明治给我吧 if it is alright with you I will have that sandwich.
只是 我刚突然想到关于猪的这句妙语 It just... the pig line just came to me
我就脱口而出了 但我实际上快饿死了 and I just kinda rolled with it but I really am quite starving
所以太感谢你了 你真是个大好人 so thanks so much. That's really nice of you.
回头见 See you.
车得预热一下 Just warming the old girl up.
现在可以走了 Here we go....
两周亡命记
第一季 第一集
南海岸
酒吧
我的意思就是 All I am saying is that,
你向来都不擅长跟女人相处 you have never been very good with women.
那跟这事有什么关系 What has that got to do with anything?
你刚刚被甩了啊 小子 Well, you have just been dumped, kid.
是啊 被跟我交往了三年的人甩了 Yeah, by someone I went out with for three years.
我不是要说你 兄弟 I'm not having a go, mate.
我只是想说 在女人这方面 I'm just saying when it comes to girls
你一直都像是出水的鸭子 you have always been a duck out of water.
什么 也就是说完全没事吗 What...So completely fine then?
鸭子是水陆两栖的 杰 Ducks are amphibious, Jay,
所以无论是在水中还是出了水 它们都完全没事 so they are completely fine in or out of water.
胡扯八道 Bullshit!
什么叫胡扯八道 What do you mean bullshit?
我指的就是你这个问题 兄弟 This is what I am talking about, bro.
没人在乎你上知天文下知地理的各种屁话 No one cares about all of your univers-y bullshit.
那是二年级学的 杰 We literally learnt that in year 2, Jay.
都算不上是初中知识 That's not even junior school.
好吧 听着 重点是 OK, look. The point is
不管你觉得你有多聪明 no matter how clever you think you are
都不会有什么进展的 因为... you are never gonna get anywhere, cause...
-你穿的衣服太丑了 -好吧 - you got shit clothes. - Right!
-发型也很傻逼 -好吧 - A shit haircut. - Ok.
而且鸡巴就跟破了的气球一样小 And...a dick like a burst balloon.
我的阴茎尺寸是达到平均水平的 杰 I've got a perfectly average sized penis, Jay.
-好吧 你想忘掉艾丽吗 -不太想 - OK. Do you wanna get over Ellie? - Not really.
-你想证明你是个男子汉吗 -显然不想 - Do you wanna prove that you are a big man? - Obviously not.
好吧 那你必须找 OK then, you have to speak
下一个走进这酒吧的女人搭话 to the next woman that walks in this pub.
不管那人是谁 Whoever they are.
你刚说的两点我都已经明确说不想了 I literally said no to both those things.
嘿 你想让我说出来吗 Hey, do you want me to say it?
不想 No!
-我还是要... -别 - I'm gonna... - Don't.
-我要说出来 -别说 - I will say it. - Don't say it.
-我就要说出来 -求你不要 - I shall say it. - Please don't.
-我反正要说出来 -我希望你不要 - I'm gonna say it. - I rather you didn't.
你是我弟弟 并且... You are my little brother... and...
我 爱 你 I love yooouu!
我希望你找点乐子 好吗 And I want you to have some fun. Alright?
不 这事不是没得商量 No! This is not non negotiable.
你是想说"这事没得商量"吧 You mean it is, non negotiable.
什么 What?
当我没说 Don't worry.
弟弟 快看 Little brother - look, look...
欢迎我的朋友见到梦中女孩 Welcome my friend to the woman of my dreams.
真的很抱歉 I am so sorry.
我去吧台给你再买一杯 I will get you another one. at... the bar.
抱歉 抱歉 Ooohh, sorry. Sorry.
你没事吧 You alright?
-能给我一杯苹果酒吗 -好的 - Can I have a glass of cider? - Sure.
再给我身后愤怒地盯着我的那人一杯他之前点的东西 And..whatever the angry looking man behind me was drinking.
谢谢 Thank you.
我能问你点事吗 Can I ask you something?
当然 快问吧 小伙伴 Yes. Yeah - fire away, amigo.
不是小伙伴 就朋友 Not amigo. Just friend.
并不是说我们就成朋友了 Not that we're friends.
尽管人们都说陌生人只是你尚未认识的朋友 Although they do say a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet.
我们刚刚已经见过了 算认识了吧 We have technically met, haven't we?
我觉得这主要看怎么定义了 就像是... I consider it sort of depends on definition, so like...
抱歉 你刚刚说有事要问我 Sorry, you had a question.
是的 Yes.
这是鞋子 没错吧 This is definitely a shoe, right?
是的 Yeahh...
我是说 我就是觉得 I mean, I just...I feel like
我好像犯了个大错 there has been some sort of a fundamental mistake.
这里除了我 似乎没人穿这种鞋 I mean... ...no one else seems to be wearing them.
是啊 Right.
抱歉 我以前从来没打扮得这么时髦过 Sorry, It's just that I never really dress up this smart before
我觉得有点... and I'm feeling a bit...
不不不 我懂 那就像... Yeah. No no no. Completely. That's...
就跟电影《窈窕美眉》里一样 It's the same for the one in 'She's all that'
瞧瞧那最后的结局 and look what happened there.
最后结局发生了什么 What did happen there?
电影一开始的时候 大家都说 Oh, at the start of the film everyone's like
"她就是个丑八怪" 'she's a gnome"
到结尾的时候 她穿上一件非常漂亮的裙子 and then she pops this dress on by the end
大家都很内疚 因为他们开始觉得 and then everyone's kicking themselves, cause they are like
"原来她一直就不是丑八怪啊" "Ahh, turned out that she wasn't that all along."
那是部经典影片 你一定要看 It's a classic. You've gotta watch it.
好的 Ok.
我会加入事项清单的 I put it on my list.
在现实世界里 要做的事项
45:打赢剑斗 46:玩空手道 踢碎木板 47:看电影《窈窕美眉》
苏格兰
哇 所以这是他们第一次约会时拍的吗 Wow, so this was taken on their first date?
是啊 所以我才希望人生进的第一家酒吧是这里 Yeah, that's wanted this place to be my first pub.
我想着 能跟爸爸一起在这里喝一杯会很美好 I thought it would be nice to come for a drink here with dad.
所以他要过来吗 Oh, is he coming down?
算是吧 Oh, sort of.
你就靠在他身上呢 You are leaning on him.
天呐 真是太对不起了 Oh God! I'm so...I'm so sorry.
*天呐 我... Oh, my God, I...
你不必对他道歉 他已经死了 You don't need to apologise to him. He's dead.
他听不到你说话 He can't hear you.
你想问我 对吧 You want to ask me, don't you?
问你什么 Ask you?
为什么这是我第一次来酒吧 Why this is my first time in a pub.
为什么穿着这样的鞋 Or in those shoes.
或者为什么我这辈子唯一看过的四部电影 Or why the only 4 films I have seen in my life
是《终结者2》 《肖申克的救赎》 are Terminator 2, Shawshank Redemption,
《小鬼当家2》和《勇敢的心》 Home Alone 2 and Braveheart.
是啊 我是挺想问的 Yeahhh. You know, I do actually.
恐怕我有坏消息要告诉你 尼克 I am afraid I've got some bad news, Nicky.
金 Kim?
等你有空时把内脏取出来一下 轮到你干了 It's your turn to disembowel dinner when you got a sec.
金 Kim?
亲爱的妈妈 Dear Mum
很抱歉这样离开 I'm sorry for leaving,
但我知道你肯定会阻止我的 but I knew that you would try and stop me.
事实是 The thing is...
我终于觉得准备好尝试新事物了 I finally feel ready to try new things.
探索外面的世界有什么在等着我 Work out what's out there for me.
替爸爸 报仇雪恨 And make things right...for Dad.
也是为了我们大家 For all of us.
我已经不是小女孩了 I'm not a little belle anymore.
我可以照顾好自己 妈 I can look after myself, Mom.
现实世界是个令人恐惧的地方 The world is a scary place.
但就像他为我的21岁生日 But it is just like he said
写的那首美丽的诗里所说的 in that beautiful poem he wrote for my 21ˢᵗ birthday.
"我还有漫长的人生要探索 "I've got all my life to live."
我心中有满满的爱要奉献 "And all my love to give."
只要我还知道如何去爱 "And as long as I know how to love."
我就知道我会永远活着" ‎"I know I will stay alive."
我会活下来的 妈 'I will survive, Mum.'
爱你的 金 Love, Kim
问清楚一下 明天就是世界末日吗 So just to be clear - the end of the world is coming tomorrow?
不 我的意思是可能是明天 No. I am saying it could be tomorrow,
但等到末日真的到来时 but when it does happen
逃离现代生活越远 就越可能活下来 the more off grid you are, the better chance you'll have.
所以世界末日会以什么形式发生呢 So, how is that gonna happen?
可能是核战吧 Nuclear war. Probably.
但也可能是人工智能 But it could be artificial intelligence.
两极冰盖融化 Polar ice caps melting.
下一次鱼麻疹病的爆发可能会让全人类灭亡 The next outbreak of fish measles could wipe us out entirely.
不好意思 鱼什么... I'm sorry? Fish...
我妈总是说人类的决定性特征就是耐心 My mum always said the defining feature of humanity is in patience.
即便是在面对自身的灭亡时 Even for it's own destruction.
我们的妈妈总是说吃一个烤奶酪三明治总觉得不够 Our mum always says one cheese toastie is never enough
但吃两个又太撑了 but two is always too much.
你现在取笑我 You are only making fun of me
是因为政府掩盖了情况的严重性 because the government is hiding how bad it truly is.
如果你知道... If you had any idea...
不不 我站在你这边 No, no. I am on your side, bro.
别相信他们的谎言 真的 Don't believe their lies, man. Like yeah guys.
不如我们登上宇宙飞船 飞向月球吧 Shall we just get on a spaceship and go to the moon.
说得好听 不过 跟叨叨我相比算是巨大的进步了 As if, man. One giant leap for fucking bullshit me.
好吧 金 你说这些都是你妈告诉你的 Okay. All right. So Kim, you said your mom told you all this.
你是觉得我们错了吗 You think we're wrong then?
没有 我的意思是 Well no. I'm just saying.
就算我们注定要毁灭 I think even if we are all fucked,
我宁愿冒险在现实世界里求生 I'd rather take my chances in the real world,
也不要躲在荒山野岭的洞穴里 than hide out in the middle of nowhere in a cave.
是个小木屋 我妈只有在那个秃头男 It's a hut. My mum only makes me sleep in the cave
上我们家修发电机时才会让我去洞穴里睡 when the bald man comes to fix the generator.
天 那个发电机坏得频率也太高了 Yeah, that thing breaks down a lot.
什么意思 What does that mean?
我有个好玩的主意 假如世界末日真的要来临了 Okay, fun thought. Let's say it is the end of the world
我们只能活两周了 你们会做什么 and we will have two weeks to live. What would you do?
很简单 我要在过山车上娶我的女朋友 Easy. I'd marry my girlfriend on like a roller coaster or something.
很好 Nice.
尼克 Nicky?
我要体验各种疼痛 探寻自然的神奇之处 I would ride a lot of pain. Seek out the majesty of nature.
当真吗 Oh really?
假的 我要狂吃甜甜圈 找人做爱 Nah. I'd eat donuts and try to have sex with people.
很好 因为如果没人愿意跟你做爱 That's good, because if no one wanted to have sex with you,
你就可以插甜甜圈了 then you could just use the donuts.
我也是这么想的 That was my thinking exactly.
好吧 金 那你呢 Alright. Go on Kim, what about you?
我觉得性爱和甜甜圈不错 Sex and donuts sounds good to me.
那就这样吧 冲向世界末日 Well, there we are guys. To the end of the world, baby.
我和艾丽在一起三年了 Me and Ellie have been together three years.
在大学认识的 Met at uni.
你也知道典型的结局 You know how it goes.
我猜是你们双方共同决定分手的 I guess it was a mutual then?
的确是 It was actually.
是她和她的新男友共同决定跟我分手的 It was a mutual decision between her and her new boyfriend.
你不需要吃「污染药」吗 Don't you have to take your pollution pill?
什么 What?
大概你有免疫力吧 You are immunised, I guess.
我猜这些药是你妈给你的吧 Did your mom give you those by any chance?
是啊 Yeah.
真不敢相信这是你第一次踏入文明世界 I can't believe this your first trip into civilisation.
有生以来第一次 Like... ...ever.
但我曾经采购过几次物资 Well, I did the supply run a few times.
但也就是进去就出来了 所以... But I guess that's just in and out so...
你这次为什么决定离开 And why did you decide to leave now?
我没有离开 I haven't left.
我还是要回去的 I'm going back.
就觉得现在是时候... Just felt like now is a good time to
划掉我清单上的一些事项吧 cross some things off my list... I guess.
你和杰的生活很不一样吗 You and Jay are quite different then?
我们很小的时候 爸爸就去世了 My dad died when we were kids.
所以我们只能相依为命了 So that's all... for us together.
抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我现在觉得好难过 I feel bad now.
没事 That's alright.
我爸爸以前是做绿化生意的 He had this landscaping business.
我和杰 一直打算要... And me and Jay, we've always had this plan to
重振那个生意 resurrect it.
但你其实并不想吗 But you don't want to?
我在大学是念英语文学的 I studied English at Uni.
我得到一个在伦敦实习的机会 I've been offered this internship in London.
那会让他心碎的 It's going to break his heart.
头条: 世界末日两周后降临
你爸爸是怎么死的 So, how did your dad die?
心脏病发作 Heart attack.
你爸呢 Yours?
也一样 Yes, same.
他在我6岁时去世了 He died when I was six.
那算是当初妈妈带着我离开的原因吧 It's kind of the reason why me and mom left in the first place.
说来也有趣 It's funny.
我爸爸去世跟我的小表弟出生的日子是同一天 My dad died the exact same day my little cousin was born.
我们赶到医院时从我阿姨身边冲过去了 We've moved past my aunt in the hospital.
就好像世界上的爱被允许存在的量是有限的 It's like there's a finite amount of love allowed in the world.
他充满额外的爱 He's added.
不得不腾出空间来接受新的爱啊 And you got a pour bit out to make room for the next bit.
二位 Guys!
天呐 快过来 Oh my God! Come quick!
你们肯定觉得难以置信 赶快过来吧 You're not gonna believe this. You guys need to come right now.
金 你妈说得对 世界末日真的要来了 Kim, your mom was right. It is is happening.
天呐 真的要发生了 Dude, it is fucking happening.
世界末日两周后降临
但是没关系 因为我在厨房找到一些甜甜圈 But it's okay, because I found some donuts in the kitchen.
我的天呐 Oh my God!
这是实时发生的情况吗 Is this is happening right now?
要怎么停止啊 How does it stop?
金 才没有... Kim, there isn't any...
氯洗鸡肉 Chlorinated chicken
和.. and....
气候变化 climate change.
结合在一起 Combined.
好了 我们得联系世界卫生组织 OK, One of us needs to call the WHO.
-谁[拼写一样] -就是啊 - The who? - Exactly.
-什么 -算了 我得走了 - What? - Oh, never mind, I need to go.
-等等 -我真的不敢相信 - Hold on a sec. - I just don't believe it.
从小到大都认为 You spend your whole life thinking
世界将于眨眼间灰飞烟灭 world's gonna end in the blink of an eye
然后突然间就成真了 and then suddenly it is.
等等 别担心 其实并没有... Hold on two seconds. Don't worry, there is nothing actually..
尼克 这情况可太严重了 Nicky, this is such a serious situation.
其实并没有什么 There's nothing actually what?
其实并没有... There is nothing actually...
其实我们并没有任何办法改变 That we can do right now.
你说得对 You're right.
这一点都不好笑 This isn't funny.
这孩子简直疯了 Kid's fucking insane!
杰 Jay!
就是个玩笑而已 毕竟我们刚聊到了性爱 It is just a little joke because the whole sex,
甜甜圈和世界末日什么的 donut and end of the world thing.
我没想到她真的会信 I didn't think she would actually believe it.
金 Kim!
快上车 Get in the car.
别担心 爸 Don't worry, dad.
时间足够了 There's enough time.
吉米家
她要去哪儿啊 Where the hell is she going, anyway?
闭嘴 跟着她就行 Just shut up and follow her.
收割谷
金 Kim!
我不敢相信她竟然真的信了 I can't believe she actually fell for it.
她可能以前从来没见过网络 She's probably never seen the internet before.
她当然会信了 Of course she fell for it.
那她开车来这里的路上怎么没反应过来 Why didn't she realise on the drive over?
因为现在是深更半夜的 Because it's the middle of the night,
就算末日是真的 大家都睡着了也看不到 even if it was true, no fucker would be awake to see it.
别再担心了 老兄 Stop worrying, man.
听着 不管她进去见到谁 Look, whoever she's gone in there to see
都会告诉她这是个玩笑 然后就解决了 will tell her that it is a joke and that's that.
有什么问题啊 What's the problem?
我之前有机会解释 但我却什么都没说 I had chance to say something and I didn't.
她一定会觉得我是个大混蛋 She's gonna think I'm a right dick.
就是个小玩笑而已 It was just a little joke.
她会觉得超级好笑的 She's gonna think it's hilarious.
她真会这么觉得吗 Is she though?
听着 就算她不这么觉得 Look, if she doesn't,
最糟糕又能发生什么事呢 What is the worst that can happen?
相信我 Trust me.
不会有事的 Everything's gonna be fine.
好吧 或许你说得对 Yeah, I guess you're right.
犯罪头目吉米·戴维斯被宣告无罪
伊恩 Ian!
是你在楼下干蠢事吗 Is that you, playing silly buggers downstairs?
伊恩 Ian!
你好 吉米 Hello, Jimmy.
还记得我吗 Remember me?