FROM COMEDY CENTRAL'S WORLD NEWS
HEADQUARTERS IN NEW YORK, THIS
IS "THE DAILY SHOW" WITH JON
STEWART!
♪
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY
SHOW"!
MY NAME IS JON STEWART!
BIG SHOW TONIGHT.
MY GUEST TONIGHT, "ANT-MAN"!
"ANT-MAN" WILL BE JOINING US
TONIGHT!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
IT'S OUT FIRST DAY BACK FROM THE BREAK.
WHILE WE WERE OUT, HUGE,
IMPORTANT CONSEQUENTIAL STUFF, THE BEAST
FINALLY TASTED THE REVENGE
FROM THE UNDERTAKER.
AND THE IRAN DEAL.
ALSO THAT.
BUT THE LEZNER THING WAS GHUGE.
(LAUGHTER)
ANGELA MERKEL DID A
DEAL WITH GREECE IS
LIKE THE ECONOMIC EQUIVALENT TO
SITTING ON GREECE'S CHEST,
PINNING DOWN THEIR HANDS AND
DROOLING INTO GREECE'S MOUTH
JUST DROOLING INTO THEIR MOUTH.
OR AS THE GERMANS CALL IT,
FOREPLAY.
(LAUGHTER)
THERE'S ANOTHER TRAGIC ATTACK,
CHATTANOOGA, FIVE SERVICEMEN
LOST THEIR LIVES.
AND I JUST THOUGHT TO MYSELF.
WHEN IS THIS GONNA END?
I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL TALK ABOUT
ANY OF THIS.
>> DONALD TRUMP IS AT IT AGAIN!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: AND THEN HE APPEARED.
(LAUGHTER)
DONALD TRUMP.
THE PATRON SAINT OF TOPICAL
COMEDIANS WHO ARE JUST RUNNING
OUT THE CLOCK.
I MEAN, LOOK...
WE DID JUST HAVE TWO WEEKS OFF
FROM TALKING ABOUT TRUMP, A
DUMB-SPRINGA, I CALLED IT.
JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, WHAT "IT" IS
HE AT AGAIN?
>> UNLEASHING HIS LATEST
POLITICAL FIRESTORM ON A NEW
TARGET, THIS TIME JOHN McCAIN.
>> HE'S NOT A WAR HERO.
TRUMP IN IOWA GOING DIRECTLY
AFTER THE ARIZONA SENATOR AND
FORMER NAVY FIGHTER PILOT WHO
SPENT FIVE AND A HALF YEARS AS A
P.O.W.
>> HE'S A WAR HERO BECAUSE HE
WAS CAPTURED.
I LIKE PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T
CAPTURED, I HATE TO TELL YA.
>> Jon: HEY!
HOLD ON!
JUST --
(LAUGHTER)
AND YOU KNOW, IF I MAY, JUST A MOMENT (BLEEP)
CANCER SURVIVORS, TOO!
(LAUGHTER)
NO LET ME JUST SAY, PLEASE, I
LIKE PEOPLE WHO DON'T GET
CANCER.
I LIKE --
(LAUGHTER)
-- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, I
LIKE WINNERS, THOSE ARE THE
PEOPLE WHOSE BODIES DON'T SUFFER
FROM AN UNCONTROLLABLE DIVISION
OF ABNORMALLE CELLS ATTACKING
THEIR ORGANS.
THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE WE SHOULD
BE MAKING WISHES AND RUNNING
MARATHONS FOR, WINNERS, WINNERS,
WINNERS, WINNERS
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
TRUMP 2016.
TRUMP'S BOLD --
(LAUGHTER)
-- P.O.W.s -- OH, WE'RE GOING
OUT ON A HIGH NOTE!
TRUMP'S P.O.W.s AREN'T HERO
RAISE QUESTIONS OF WHAT THE
(BLEEP) IS WRONG WITH HIM?
>> WHEN YOU'RE CRITICIZED OR
ATTACK, YOU OFTEN RESPOND WITH
NAME CALLING USING TERMS LIKE
DUMMY, LOSER, TOTAL LOSERS ON
TWITTER AND ELSEWHERE.
YOU EVEN DEMEAN SOME PEOPLE'S
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.
IS THAT SOMETHING YOU WILL
CONTINUE DOING IF YOU'RE
PRESIDENT?
>> PEOPLE ATTACK ME.
YOU SAY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.
IT'S MY HAIR.
PEOPLE ARE CONSTANTLY ATTACKING
MY HAIR.
I DON'T SEE YOU COMING TO MY
DEFENSE.
MY HAIR IS JUST FINE.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Jon: FIRST THINGS FIRST --
YOUR HAIR'S NOT FINE.
NOW, I AGREE, ATTACKING
SOMEONE'S PHYSICAL APPEARANCE IS
A CHEAP BLOW -- BUT THAT HAIR?
THAT IS COMEDY ENTRAPMENT!
(LAUGHTER)
PEOPLE ARE NOT ATTACKING YOUR
HAIR.
THEY ARE DEFENDING THEMSELVES
FROM SOMETHING THAT APPEARS LIKE
IT'S ABOUT TO ATTACK THEM!
(LAUGHTER)
I SMELL A NEW PIXAR MOVIE!
(LAUGHTER)
TRUMP'S COMMENTS CLEARLY CAUGHT
ON TAPE.
TRUMP HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO
RECOGNIZE HE HAD MISSPOKEN AND
TAKE THE HONORABLE WAY OUT.
I'M JUST (BLEEP) WITH YA!
HERE'S WHAT HE DID.
>> WHY DID SAVANNAH START OFF BY
SAYING I SAID HE WASN'T A WAR
HERO.
HE WAS A WAR HERO.
SAVANNAH STARTED IT OFF BY
SAYING I SAID HE WASN'T A WAR
HERO.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
>> Jon: I STAND CORRECTED I COULD HAVE SWORE YOU COULD HAVE.
LET ME JUST LISTEN TO THE TAPE AGAIN REAL QUICK.
>> HE IS NOT A WAR HERO!
YEAH THAT SOUNDED LIKE...
>> Jon: YEAH, LET'S WATCH IT
UPSIDE DOWN.
>> HE IS NOT A WAR HERO.
>> Jon: NO, STILL, THE HAIR DOES LOOK BETTER
THERE, BUT STILL SOUNDS LIKE HE
SAID HE'S NOT A WAR HERO.
LET ME SEE A LITTLE "SESAME
STREET" VIBE --
>> HE'S NOT A WAR HERO.
>> Jon: THAT APPEARS TO BE
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER
"YOU SAID IT"!
SO YOU SAID IT.
>> THE NEXT SENTENCE IS "HE IS A WAR HERO".
I SAID THAT.
BUT THEY NEVER WANT TO PLAY IT.
AND YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY IT.
IF YOU WOULD HAVE LET IT RUN
ANOTHER THREE SECONDS, YOU WOULD
HAVE SEEN I SAID VERY CLEARLY,
HE IS A WAR HERO.
>> HE'S A WAR HERO BECAUSE HE
WAS CAPTURED.
>> Jon: SO YOU SAID HE'S NOT A
WAR HERO.
THE GUY NEXT TO YOU GOES, HE'S A
WAR HERO.
AND YOU GO, WELL, HE'S A WAR
HERO BECAUSE HE GOT CAPTURED.
SO, REALLY, DOES CALLING SOMEONE
A WAR HERO COUNT IF YOU'RE DOING
IT SARCASTICALLY?
HE'S NOT A WAR HERO, BUT, ALL
RIGHT, HE IS A WAR HERO, FINE,
HE GOT CAPTURED.
WHATEVER.
(APPLAUSE)
BUT, OF COURSE, WHO BETTER TO
TALK ABOUT SACRIFICE IN WARTIME
THAN DONALD TRUMP.
>> I HAD STUDENT DEFERMENT AND
MEDICAL DEFERMENT BECAUSE OF MY
FEET.
I HAD A BONE SPUR.
>> Jon: OKAY, I GET THAT AS A
MAN WHO IS ALSO CONSTANTLY
SUFFERING FROM MEDICAL
CONDITIONS THAT AREN'T REAL!
I WILL SAY A BONE SPUR IS VERY
PAINFUL.
IT'S THE KIND OF PAIN YOU NEVER
FORGET.
>> WHICH FOOT DO YOU HAVE A BONE
SPUR IN?
(LAUGHTER)
>> Jon: RIGHT OR LEFT, ONE OF
THOSE TWO.
I DON'T KNOW.
PROBABLY THE ONE I DON'T
NORMALLY HAVE IN MY MOUTH.
(LAUGHTER)
LOOK DONNY.
TRUMPEASY
BABY
DON'T FLAME OUT NOW!
I'VE GOT TO SQUEEZE THREE MORE
WEEKS OF THIS (BLEEP)!
YOU'RE AT THE POINT WHERE EVEN
YOUR FELLOW REPUBLICAN
CANDIDATES, PEOPLE TRYING VERY
HARD TO NOT RECOGNIZE WHAT A
TERRIBLE PERSON ARE NOW ARE.
NOW HAVE OT RECOGNIZE WHAT A TERRIBLE PERSON YOU ARE.
>> IT'S RIDICULOUS.
DENOUNCE DONALD TRUMP FOR
THAT.
>> DONALD TRUMP OWES EVERY
AMERICAN VETERAN AND IN
PARTICULAR JOHN McCAIN AN
APOLOGY.
>> JEB BUSH IS SAYING "ENOUGH
WITH THE SLANDEROUS ATTACKS.
SENATOR JOHN McCAIN AND ALL
OUR VETERANS, PARTICULARLY
P.O.W.s, HAVE EARNED OUR
RESPECT AND ADMIRATION ."
>> Jon: YES, AT LONG LAST DOES
THE MAN WHO ACCUSED THE VAST A
MAJORITY OF MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS
OF BEING DRUG-ADDICTED RAPISTS
HAVE NO SENSE OF DECENCY?
(LAUGHTER)
BUT THEY'RE RIGHT!
THEY'RE RIGHT!
(APPLAUSE)
I SO LOVE THIS MAN!
(LAUGHTER)
I REALLY FEEL LIKE HE'S SOME
SORT OF JEWISH HOLIDAY WAITING
TO HAPPEN.
LIKE, WE THOUGHT THE CRAZINESS
WOULD ONLY LAST A DAY.
BUT BY A MIRACLE, IT BURNED FOR
EIGHT, TEN, HOLY (BLEEP)!
THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD CALL IT,
HOLY (BLEEP)-KA!
(LAUGHTER)
HERE'S THE THING I DON'T GET.
WHY IS EVERYBODY SURPRISED ABOUT
TRUMP?
THE ONLY REASON YOU LIKE HIM IS
BECAUSE OF THE TERRIBLE THINGS
HE'S WILLING TO SAY ABOUT OBAMA.
BUT HE HAS NO CONTROL OVER THE
PROJECTILE VOMIT OF DICKISHNESS THAT COMES
OUT OF HIS MOUTH!
EVERY TIME HE OPENS IT.
IT WAS ENEVABTLE THAT SOME OF
HIS WORD PUKE WILL GET ON YOU!
YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT, YOU
HAVE BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE!
>> WELL FIRST OFF NANCY PELOSI IS A DING BAT.
WATERBOARDING IS HOW WE BAPTIZE
TERRORISTS.
>> Jon: ONCE YOU CAST THE
SPELL --
(LAUGHTER)
-- AND BRING AN INTERNET COMMENT
TO LIFE, IT NO LONGER BELONGS
YOU.
ONLY THIS TIME, THE CHATROOM
TROLL EMOJI YOU'VE CONJURED
HAS $10 BILLION OF ITS OWN
MONEY.
YOU THOUGHT A WORD SALAD WAS
HARD TO SHAKE?
WAIT TILL YOU GET TRUMP DUMP ON
YOU.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: FOR MORE -- FOR MORE ON THE
DEVELOPMENTS IN DONALD TRUMP'S
PRESIDENTIAL BID BECAUSE, YOU
KNOW, WHY NOT, NOTHING ELSE
REALLY IS FUN TO TALK ABOUT, WE
TURN TO SENIOR ELECTION
CORRESPONDENT JORDAN KLEPPER
WHO'S AT THE TRUMP HOTEL.
THANKS FOR JOINING US.
>> HELLO JON.
JORDAN, A MONTH IN THE TRUMP
CAMPAIGN, AND HE HAS ALREADY
MANAGED TO ALIENATE MOST OF HIS
OWN PARTY.
>> I KNOW.
THE MAN IS TRULY AN INSPIRATION.
>> Jon: WAIT A MINUTE.
AN INSPIRATION?
TO WHOM?
>> WELL, TO ME, TO MY HEDGE FUND
MANAGER, TO FRAT BOYS
EVERYWHERE, JON.
DON'T YOU SEE, DONALD TRUMP
COULD VERY WELL BE OUR FIRST
OPENLY ASSHOLE PRESIDENT.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: COME ON.
THAT CAN'T BE TRUE.
WHAT ABOUT ANDREW JACKSON, HE'S
AN ASSHOLE.
>> NO, JACKSON WAS A
COMPASSIONLESS KILLING MACHINE.
>> Jon: WARREN HARDING.
A DICKHEAD, NOT AN ASSHOLE.
IT'S NUANCE, BUT A DIFFERENCE.
>> Jon: NIXON.
NIXON, CLEARLY AN ASSHOLE.
>> GAPING.
A GAPING ASSHOLE BUT CLOSETED.
NIXON'S ASSHOLISHNESS WENT
UNCONFIRMED UNTIL THE TAPES
LEAKED BUT TRUMP, ON THE OTHER
HAND, SAYS IT LOUD AND PROUD.
I'M HERE, I'M AN ASSHOLE, GET
USED TO IT YOU MEXICAN RAPIST
LOSERS.
>> Jon: I ADMIT IT.
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT THAT WAY.
>> JON, CLEARLY, YOU ARE
PREJUDICED AGAINST ASSHOLE
AMERICANS.
>> Jon: THAT'S TOTALLY NOT
TRUE, JORDAN.
I HAVE VERY CLOSE FRIENDS WHO
ARE ASSHOLES.
>> REALLY?
>> Jon: YEP.
LIKE WHO?
PAUL RUDD.
PAUL RUDD IS AN ASSHOLE.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> JON!
THANK YOU FOR THE SHOUTOUT,
BUDDY!
REALLY, THIS IS THE BEST ASSHOLE
YOU COULD COME UP WITH?
HEY,
KLEPPER, I JUST (BLEEP) YOUR MOM
WHILE YOUR DAD WATCHED.
YOU SIDESHOW BOB LOOKING NOBODY
PIECE OF (BLEEP).
TRUMP 2016!
(APPLAUSE)
I STAND CORRECTED.
THAT GUY'S A REAL ASSHOLE.
>> Jon: I GET IT NOW, TRUMP'S
CAMPAIGN IS A STEP FORWARD FOR
ASSHOLES EVERYWHERE.
>> A GIANT LEAP FOR ASS KIND.
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT A
LITTLE BOY.
PEOPLE USED TO SAY TO ME -- TO
HIM, LITTLE BOY, YOU WILL NEVER
BE PRESIDENT.
YOU'RE WAY TOO BIG AN ASSHOLE,
JORDAN -- LITTLE BOY.
THEN HE'D CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP
LISTENING TO NICKELBACK.
DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT LITTLE ME
WAS, JON?
>> Jon: IT WAS YOU.
NO, IT WAS ME, JON, ME!
BUT TODAY IS A NEW DAY, NOT JUST
FOR ME BUT THE LITTLE ASSHOLES
AT HOME SASSING THEIR UNDERPAID
CLEANING WOMAN, RUNNING THE
FIRST PUPPY MILL OR CLAPPING AT
THE WRONG PARTS OF WOLF OF WALL STREET,
NOW THOSE ASSHOLES CAN DREAM.
SO WE SAY THANK YOU DONALD TRUMP
FOR BEING SUCH A TREMENDOUS
ASSHOLE!
>> Jon: JORDAN, THAT WAS
BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
>> THANK YOU, JOHN.
BY THE WAY, I ALSO (BLEEP) YOUR
MOM WHILE YOUR DAD WATCHED.
>> Jon: MY DAD'S PASSED AWAY,
JORDAN.
>> SORRY.
PAUL RUDD MAKES IT LOOK SO EASY!
>> Jon: JORDAN KLEPPER,
EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
WELCOME BACK!
MY GUEST TONIGHT, GOT A NEW FILM OUT CALLED
"ANT-MAN"!
>> LOOK, THIS IS GOING TO GET
WEIRD.
IT'S FREAKY BUT SAFE.
NO REASON TO BE SCARED.
>> OH, NO, I DON'T GET SCARED.
REALLY?
YEAH.
GOOD.
THIS IS THE WORK OF GYPSIES
THAT'S WITCHCRAFT.
>> THAT'S AMAZING.
THAT'S DAVID COPPERFIELD STUFF.
THAT'S WIZARDLY.
SORCERY!
>> HOW DID YOU DO THAT, BRO!
DON'T FREAK OUT.
LOOK AT YOUR SHOULDER.
>> WHAT!
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T GET
SCARED!
>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE PROGRAM
PAUL RUDD!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
SO FEW PEOPLE DO THAT.
SO FEW PEOPLE HAVE MANNERS.
>> I WANT YOU TO DO IT.
>> Jon: WE'LL DO THIS
TOGETHER.
>> TOGETHER.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Jon: HERE'S WHAT I'M GOING
TO MISS, SO 12 SHOWS, PEOPLE
SAY, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO MISS?
ONE THING, PAUL RUDD'S
EFFORTLESS SENSUALITY.
(CHEERING)
YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERFUME.
EAU DE RUDD.
>> OH, THAT IS SO NICE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO MISS?
>> Jon: NO.
EVERYTHING.
>> Jon: WHAT!
LIKE, ALL OF THESE PEOPLE.
>> Jon: AW!
IT IS EVERYTHING.
>> Jon: EVERYTHING.
IT IS ALWAYS A GRIND, YOU
HAVE TO PROMOTE, YOU DO ALL
THESE SHOWS, AND THEY'RE FUN BY,
EVERY TIME, JON, WITH YOU, IT'S
DIFFERENT.
EVERYBODY FEELS THAT WAY!
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOU WHY IT'S DIFFERENT.
BECAUSE UNLIKE THE OTHER
SHOWS, AND I THINK YOU WILL BACK
ME UP ON THIS, I DON'T PREPARE.
>> THAT'S WHY WE'RE A PERFECT
MATCH!
(LAUGHTER)
>> Jon: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
A SUPERHERO!
YOU USED TO BE JUST SOME GUY
WALKING AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD
LOOKING NICE, AND NOW YOU'RE A
SUPERHERO!
YOU'RE IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE.
YOU'RE "ANT-MAN"!
"ANT-MAN"
SAY IT LIKE A JERSEY GUY.
>> "ANT-MAN".
>> Jon: SOUNDS LIKE IF I'M NOT
WRONG ANTHONY MAN.
>> OR MAYBE ANTMIN.
MY NAMES ANTMIN.
I HAVE THE ABILITY TO HEM A PAIR
OF PANTS IN 30 MINUTES!
>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT'S SAD --
YOU WANT A CUFF?
>> Jon: IF YOU WERE ANTMIN,
YOUR PARENTS WOULD PROBABLY SAY
TO YOU, SO SMALL FOR A
SUPERHERO.
YEAH, HE'S LITTLE, BUT HE'S
STRONG, STRONG.
TEN TIMES HIS WEIGHT BUT HIS
WEIGHT IS NOT MUCH.
(LAUGHTER)
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE COULD STAND TO EAT A LITTLE MORE.
HAVE SOME COOGLE.
THIS IS WHAT WE ASPIRE TO AS
YOUNG NERDISH FELLOWS TO BE IN
THE SUPERHERO MOVIE IS THE
PINNACLE OF NERDISATY.
>> IT IS THE PINNACLE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I AM HERE,
THAT I'M IN THE WORLD, THAT I'M
IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE.
>> Jon: IT'S CRAZY, BECAUSE
YOU'RE NOT GOOD IN MOVIES!
(LAUGHTER)
>> NOT EVEN CLOSE.
>> Jon: AND YOU'RE REWARDED!
AN HEROIC, STRONG, GOING TO
SAVE THE WORLD --
(LAUGHTER)
>> Jon: ARE YOU DONE WITH THIS
YET?
>> YEAH, WE FINISHED THE MOVIE.
IT'S IN THEATERS NOW.
I MEANT LIKE THE PROMOTION OF THE MOVIE.
IS THIS YOU'RE LAST SHOW?
OH THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN?
>> I HAVE BEEN DOING KIND OF,
LIKE, THIS PROMOTION AND THIS IS
MY FAVORITE WAY TO END THIS.
>> Jon: THIS SHOW HAS ALWAYS
BEEN AND REMAINS, FOR ME, THE
CABOOSE OF SHOW BUSINESS.
(LAUGHTER)
WE ARE THAT LAST CAR ON THE
TRAIN.
MAYBE THERE'S A GUY SITTING THERE
QUIETLY JERKING OFF UNDER HIS
RAIN COAT, AND THERE'S ME.
AND YOU COME INTO THAT CAR AFTER
TRAVERSING THAT ENTIRE, LONG
TRAIN AND YOU SIT DOWN AND YOU
JUST SAY TO YOURSELF, LET'S GET
THIS (BLEEP) OVER WITH.
>> I WOULD MAKE ONE CHANGE TO
THAT.
YOU'RE ASSUMING I'M ALREADY ON
THE TRAIN.
IF YOU'RE THE CABOOSE, I'M THE
GUY ON THAT LITTLE CART THAT'S
CHASING YOU WITH THE LITTLE
HANDHELD THING YOU SEE IN
CARTOONS.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: I LOVE IT.
YOU'RE A FINE MAN.
I'VE ALWAYS ENJOYED OUR
CONVERSATIONS, I HOPE TO HAVE
MANY MORE, AND NOT JUST WHEN WE
PASS EACH OTHER ON THE STREETS,
FOR GOD'S SAKE.
>> I LOVE YOU, JON STEWART.
(AUDIENCE REACTS)
>> Jon: JUST TO CLARIFY, THAT
WAS IN THE PROMPTER.
(LAUGHTER)
THAT WAS NOT -- IT WAS A
BEAUTIFUL READING, BUT THAT WAS
IN THE PROMPTER.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jon: "ANT-MAN" IN THEATERS
NOW.
SUPERHERO PAUL RUDD.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: THAT IS ALL!
BUT BEFORE WE GO, CHECK OUT
LARRY WILMORE AT THE "NIGHTLY
SHOW" WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN STORE
FOR US TONIGHT?
>> SERIOUSLY, SO MUCH HAPPENED
WHILE WE WERE ON BREAK.
>> Jon: GIVE ME A HINT!
OKAY, THEN.
I BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF SHOES.
>> Jon: YEAH, THAT DOESN'T
SEEM LIKE THAT BIG A DEAL,
BUT --
>> COME ON, THEY'RE SPECIAL
SHOES, SCIENTIFICALLY ENGINEERED
BY EXPERT FOOT DOCTORS.
>> Jon: FOR WHAT PURPOSE,
LARRY?
>> KICKING COSBY'S ASS!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, GUESS WE'LL
SEE YOU IN A MINUTE.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
SEE YOU IN A BIT.
EVERYBODY, TOMORROW NIGHT, THE
PRESIDENT WILL BE JOINING US --
NOT OF THE UNITED STATES --
(LAUGHTER)
-- JUST THE FRENCH CLUB.
HERE IS YOUR MOMENT OF ZEN.
>> JOHN McCAIN GOES, OH, BOY,
TRUMP MAKES MY LIFE DIFFICULT.
HE HAD 15,000 CRAZIES SHOW UP.
CRAZIES.
HE CALLED THEM ALL CRAZY.
I SAID, THEY WEREN'T CRAZY.
THEY WERE GREAT AMERICANS.
IF YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THESE
PEOPLE -- I KNOW WHAT A CRAZY
IS.
I KNOW ALL ABOUT WHAT CRAZY IS.