THE SWINDLE
Dearest Barone!
Is 10.30. You're always keeping me waiting.
Where have you been?
We couldn't find Roberto.
He's got a woman in every country!
Look! How lovely!
Is only ten kilometres. We could have been there by now.
Why do we always act like buffoons?
Is like a Corot landscape.
Here. Go hang yourself!
Here. This is the map. That mark there is the tree.
Eight steps from the tree you'll find the treasure.
Understood.
What are you doing? Yellow shoes?
Who'll see them under the cassock?
Give me that cross.
There.
What are these numbers?
A metre and a half down. Understood?
The earth has been smoothed over so you can't tell the difference.
Then you just have to dig.
We can easily do it before the evening.
Tell that idiot not to get smart with the women - they're not stupid.
Something else I forgot. Be careful of those two nasty dogs.
- The ring? - I've got it!
Whas wrong with you this morning?
Are you on edge?
Let me have a look. Is everything okay?
Whas up with Augusto?
The old fool's agonising.
Augusto? Beautiful spot, eh?
Monsignore.
Get in. We're off.
Good morning, signora.
Good morning.
Would you mind calling off the dogs, please?
Come here!
Is Stella Fiorina here?
What do you want? Thas me.
Monsignore, thas her.
Good morning.
Ah! Pax et bonum.
A real pleasure, Signora Stella Fiorina.
You are the owner of this farm?
We need to discuss a confidential matter.
His Eminence has sent, especially from Rome,
his referendary Monsignor De Filippis.
Monsignore!
We need to talk to you in private.
Is that possible?
Make yourself at home, Monsignore. I'm sorry, everything's grubby here.
You, get out!
Excuse us, Monsignore.
- Out, out! - Cute!
Don Pietro.
Can you close the door?
On the point of death, a poor sinner
wished to disclose a dreadful secret to us.
Is about a murder.
During the war when the front passed through here,
the deceased fled with an accomplice after committing a robbery.
He then killed his friend and hid the corpse somewhere which,
according to his instructions, is on your property.
Sorry. Is there here on your farm
a tree in the middle of a field, totally isolated?
Yes, behind the vineyard.
Thas it.
Well, is my duty to dig up those remains
and rebury them in consecrated ground.
Is a virtuous deed which I need you to help me carry out
for the sake of the murderer's peace of mind.
- Is it far from here? - No, is beyond the vineyard.
What do you want to do?
Tell me,
is it a quiet place?
I mean, there's no risk of being seen?
I'd prefer not to wait for night since it won't take long
and your help won't even be needed.
The treasure.
The treasure!
Ah yes, yes, I was forgetting.
It would seem that by the bones
there is some jewellery which the two had stolen.
Perhaps the murderer intended to return and collect them.
Is a little treasure trove.
Father has the complete list here.
But this doesn't matter to us
for the deceased expressly stated that, if it was found,
it should remain in the hands of the landowner...
Namely you.
...Except for a small provision to pay for a few masses for his soul.
You promise me you'll keep the secret?
Is also in your interest.
The government could, without right, claim the treasure.
Treasure!
Yes. But what we're more concerned about
is burying that poor body.
This is the tree.
Eight paces from this point towards the vineyard.
If I may, Monsignore, I'd like to count them.
Pardon me, Monsignore. One moment.
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight.
Eight...
Monsignore!
It should be here, right here.
Good.
So, shall we try? Do you agree?
Yes.
- Please proceed. - The duty is mine, Monsignore.
Look out!
I can't take any more. Monsignore, there's nothing here.
- I need a rest. - Give it to me.
Be careful, Stella.
Monsignore! Come here!
Augusto, here we are.
- Monsignore, look! - My goodness, he was right!
Poor soul.
Just look!
Requiem aeternam...
Easy does it, Roberto, give them to me. Thank you.
Look what we're reduced to.
Blessed Lord.
- Look how many bones there are! - Oh, Blessed Virgin!
Whas this bone?
There's something here!
Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine.
Monsignore!
- Monsignore, look, is here! - Monsignore, is here!
A gold necklace with diamonds,
and rubies.
A gold ingot weighing... two kilos.
There we are.
Then a gold brooch...
But is it all decent stuff?
I wouldn't mind it!
No, I meant, Monsignore,
if it wasn't decent stuff, after being buried for so long
id be all black, wouldn't it?
I'm no expert, but I'd have thought id be worth... five or six million.
How much?!
Could I have a glass of water?
Six million?!
Six million, more or less.
Even more with the rate gold fetches at the moment.
Is gone up, you know, Father!
Of course. Even more.
Definitely more. Id be about seven million.
- Do we have to share it with you? - Oh, heavens, no.
Not at all. Is yours. All yours.
Father.
"To whom it may concern.
"Given the excruciating remorse induced by my evil deed,
"and the fear of paying for my sins in the eternal flames of hell,
"I provide that all the wealth I wrongfully acquired
"and buried next to the corpse of my victim,
"given that the legitimate owners are dead,
"should go to the owners of the land
"in which it is found, on one sole condition."
I'm reading the last will and testament.
"...On one sole condition:
"That the owners have 500 masses said for the salvation of my soul."
Do we have to pay for the masses?
Can we have them said by our parish priest?
No, no, no.
I'll have them said in San Pietro - id be much better.
500 masses at 1,000 lire each.
Thas not exactly much!
Thas 500 banknotes of 1,000 lire!
"Should the owners refuse this despicable gold
"I beg His Eminency to make a charitable donation."
Do we have to pay it all at once?
Well, thas whas written here.
Remember.
Is a solemn secret. There's a murder involved.
You too could be accused.
- We can't give it all at once. - We'll sell the oxen.
- Keep quiet! - We'll manage it!
Monsignore, we could take the ingot, but of course is worth a lot more.
This is at least 1 million!
No, absolutely not.
We must find another way.
Meanwhile, we'll take everything to His Eminence in Rome.
Don't worry, he'll find a solution.
- Shall we go? - Certainly, Monsignore.
Monsignore, could you wait a moment? I want to talk to my sister.
Roberto, cut it out, please!
Is already five. We should go.
Oh, look at him! Hello, cutie.
You look like a little devil!
The ladies - where have they got to?
They've gone to the village in the cart.
Why have they gone to the village?
Deceitful Monsignore, 50 years old, ends up in jail!
He's the one who's most afraid.
Here they are.
There's a man, too.
We've got 400.
425.
- We couldn't find any more. - Is that all right?
Thank you for everything! May God reward you!
- Have a good trip! - Pax et bonum.
Goodbye!
- Thank you! - Thank you!
Stop here. I'm getting out.
Thanks. Ciao.
- Ciao, Picassi. - Ciao.
- See you tomorrow. Ciao, Augusto. - Ciao, Picassi.
- Iris! Iris! - Carlo!
Ciao! Dress Silvana and come down right now.
We'll eat out, then see a film.
- But we were already eating! - No, we'll go out! Hurry up!
Okay!
Papà, Papà!
Ciao, Papà! Ciao, Papà!
My darling!
Come here to Papà!
Here she is, my little girl!
Give Papà a hug!
Yesterday, a lady in Viterbo
asked me if I knew a little girl called Silvana.
Me! Me!
- Here you are! - Oh, a green handbag!
So many kisses for your Papà!
Go and call your Mamma. Tell her to come right away.
There we are.
Look what Papà's brought me! He says a woman from Viterbo gave it to him!
I don't believe him.
Oh!
Hurry up and get dressed. We're going to eat out.
- And what was in that little bag? - Sweets.
Sweets! You can put this on yourself.
Les go.
Carlo, here we are!
- At last! - How are you, darling?
Weren't you due back last night?
- Yes... - So how come?
I'll tell you later. Look!
Is it for me? How much did it cost?
- Do you like it? - Oh, yes!
- I want to see! - Come and look, Silvana.
So where are we going to eat?
Wherever you want. Les decide once we're outside.
Is wonderful! Look what a lovely present! Les go.
But you could have sent me a telegram.
And I don't know where to get hold of you.
What can I do? Thas the job of a salesman.
We sold everything.
There was a market nearby and Augusto suggested we try there.
So we tried and we managed to sell all the material - all of it!
In fact, look - they paid us in cash.
- Is it all ours? - Of course.
- How much is it? - 100,000.
We should give at least 20 to the trattoria.
Well, ten would do. And then...
Did anyone phone me at home today?
No. But how did you do it?
We sold them, didn't we? So, ten to the trattoria,
another ten to your mother so she stops bothering us.
No, we'll give 20 to the trattoria and pay the baker and the others.
I'll be able to go out without them all looking at me with that face!
All right, as you wish.
In fact, is better if you take it.
You'll see that I'll make it last a month!
- Then you can paint in peace. - Whose is that pretty face?
- You should paint! - Of course.
Oh, Iris, I discovered such places!
We'll have to go there together one day. Beautiful hilly landscapes.
He kills me, that guy!
Hey! Hello, folks!
The dosh has arrived!
- Here. - Thanks!
Have a cigarette.
Luigi, come here. Whas the best champagne you've got?
We've got Cordon Rouge, Perrier Jouet.
Ah, for me... Perrier Jouet!
And bring some drinks for that thirsty lot.
- Thank you - Cheers!
Robè
See you, Riccà.
They've ordered champagne.
Everything all right, Signor Rocca?
Here you are.
Robè
Did you see the Cadillac outside? He's loaded!
- Do you work here? - Sorry?
I said... do you dance?
I entertain.
What are you, German?
No, I'm English.
- Do you sing too? - No, only for myself.
What a beautiful girl you are!
- I have to go. This is my number. - Of course.
Fine.
Nothing.
Hey, you're wrecking my drum.
Listen, Augusto! This is for you!
Luigi, you see what an irresponsible lot I have to work with?
They're only capable of being kept by women.
The youth today is like that.
I was never like that!
I've always worked in style.
I've swindled my way round the world.
The world is full of idiots.
I can sell ice to Eskimos!
And I have to work with these amateurs.
I'm going back to working on my own.
Shall we go?
Give me the violin. You'll break it. It cost 40,000 lire.
Play the variations or I won't give it to you.
I'll play them. Give it to me.
Go on then, play.
He's a good-Iooking boy, Roberto, isn't he? Do you like him?
I prefer to stay with you. Don't you want me to?
Word of honour. I assure you you're getting a bargain!
I'm a bit hard up at the moment. I'll let you have it for 15,000.
It belongs to my wife - a present from me.
I wouldn't be selling it if I wasn't up to my neck.
These are times one goes through...
- Hey, Augusto. - Hello there!
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- What are you doing? Selling it? - Yes.
- For how much? - 15,000!
I would have bought it!
- So you would have bought it? - Of course.
Okay, then, is yours. Take it.
If you do this kind of business,
I could provide you with three dozen at 1,500, tax free.
How do you mean, sorry?
I mean that I buy them at 500 lire in Lugano.
I mean that I've lived long enough to go grey
doing this kind of business, if I say so myself.
- Would you like something to drink? - What a nice chap! A Campari.
- And you? - Well, perhaps I'll have a Negroni.
A Campari, a Negroni and a lemonade.
- I'm really sorry. - I'll take it.
What do you mean you'll take it? Give it here!
Didn't you realise he was so sharp?
Is the Barone.
- The Milanese is paying. - Send the drinks over there.
It seems everything's ready for tomorrow morning.
Vargas has had another great idea. On the outskirts of Rome...
Lads! Stop it!
Get away from here. Come on!
Come on, get a move on.
Dottore, allow me.
Ah, good morning.
Hey! Look at you!
Up there all alone!
What are you doing? Are you in the mountains?
Come on, don't cry. Come here and I'll get you down.
Whas he doing?
- You won't tell me your name? - Hey, what are you doing?
This is my boy!
He could have fallen off the roof.
Anyway, could you please tell me...
...where I can find... Signor Sigismondo Giacotti?
Hey, is Sigismondo Giacotti here?
He's gone to hospital.
Well, then, Giovanni Bartoli?
Giovanni Bartoli? Ask him.
Who wants Giovanni Bartoli?
It was just for the allocation of council houses.
- They're giving houses? - Thas right.
- I applied two years ago. - Me too.
Is Bevilacqua there?
I applied too.
The Commendatore is here. He'll be able to explain everything.
Pilade, they've come about the houses!
Bice! Is about the houses!
Calm down. Don't cause a riot!
One at a time. The Commendatore will explain everything.
Don't make such a racket.
I said cut it out! One at a time.
Good morning, Commendatò You lot have finally woken up.
Did you explain?
I said we've come for the housing allocation.
The first family tell me they live over there.
They're giving us a house!
Yes, a house!
How long have they been talking about it?
I applied two years ago!
Commendatò
This is a godsend! My name's Sor Antonio.
I applied 14 months ago!
Who are they giving houses to?
To this scurvy?!
Whas happened to my application?
Commendatore, I've applied, too!
One moment! Calm down, please!
In a month, the first flats will be allocated.
They've been saying that for years!
Thas enough! Silence! One at a time, les go.
Here are your contracts.
You just have to sign and make the first down payment.
What?
How much is it?
It depends on the number of rooms.
It could be 9,000, 9,500, 10,000. It depends on the number of rooms.
And what if we haven't got it?
If you haven't got it, don't worry. You'll be in the second group.
Next time ill be your turn.
How much is it for me? Ada Colangeli?
Have a look for Ada Colangeli.
- I said two rooms. - Colangeli, 9,000 lire.
Fiorelli Luigi? I applied three years ago.
- And you? - Maria Bove, Commendatò
- And you? - Calabrò
- Did you apply? - Five months ago.
I applied two years ago.
Two years?! You had a house and you sold it.
This merits no compassion.
- But it wasn't my house. - You wanted to sell it to me!
Commendatore, you'll be more comfortable in here.
Calm down! One at a time! Calm down!
Sorry is in a bit of a mess. Take a seat, Commendatò
Calm down. Could you all calm down?
The little boy's mine.
- Who's first? - Ernestina Giacotti.
Thas me, Commendatore, God bless you.
- Gino Bevilacqua! - Here I am.
Ah! 8,500.
Aldo Nevi!
Sign here.
Calabrò
10,500!
I've only got 4,000 lire!
Let her through!
Celestina Mengozzi!
7,700 lire.
Commendatò 9,000 lire.
My name is De Felice, Giovanni.
Here, I've got 5,000 lire.
- Can you lend me 1,000 lire? - To you of all people?
I'd like to find something.
- Don't you like these? - I don't feel like eating.
The most welcome of presents!
I have to give you 10,000 lire.
Yes, give it here!
I like this! Augusto, look!
For your children - 200 lire each.
Look! How come it won't come out?
Not like that, sir. You have to blow softly.
Oh, yes, I get it. I'll do it. Blow softly.
Here, sir, you try.
Augusto, watch.
Is fun, isn't it, sir? Only 200 lire.
It doesn't cost much to make children happy.
Nice, isn't it?
Don't you like it, Augusto? Wrap it up!
Les go!
Just a minute while I pay. I want to take it to Silvana.
She'll like this more than anything else!
You're the one who's enjoying it.
Watch out!
What are you playing at?
You old cockroach, jailbird, turkey!
You old rogue!
Augusto! Is me! Don't you recognise me? What are you doing?
Rinaldo!
- How are you? - Fine. How are you?
- Where are you off to? - Piazza del Popolo, with a friend.
Bring him too. Get in. I'll take you.
What manners!
Oh, whas up?
Fancy meeting you on New Year's Eve!
Good evening, signora.
Good evening.
- Hey, Augù! - Yes?
Who brought you the loaf with the file?
The same baker who brought it to you!
Is been two years. What have you been up to all this time?
Same old thing. What about you, more to the point?
I see you travel like a king.
Last time I saw you, you tried to trick me out of 5,000 lire.
I did trick you out of 5,000!
No, you didn't swindle me out of anything!
What do you mean? I swindled you, don't you worry!
Now he says he can't remember!
Luciana, you know who this is? He's a curse!
He's moved half of Italy to tears. Is Monsignor Bidone.
He's worse than a flood!
Augusto Rocca, pleased to meet you.
Listen, Augù, do you still go round with those skulls?
What a crook you are!
Signora, do you know him well? This gentleman?
Picasso, if he shakes hands with you, count your fingers.
You can be sure you'll be missing at least two.
Tell me, though. This car...
- Is it really yours? - Who else's would it be?
It must have cost a fortune! At least four, four and a half.
No, even five, five and a half if you don't mind!
In Switzerland you pay a bit less.
My wife and girls live there.
I bought them a villa in Geneva. Lake out front - and the climate!
The kids go to school there -
you can't beat the Swiss for education.
They're a great people.
Here everyone's clueless.
- What are you up to at midnight? - I'm at the house of a friend of mine.
You have to come to my house.
I'll expect you this evening after ten.
I want to see you. I'm not letting you go now!
Thanks, but I've got to go with my friend.
Bring him too. It doesn't matter.
- His wife's expecting us. - Bring the signora, too!
Rinaldo Russi.
Bring the signora, too.
I'll expect you in via Archimede 38. I'm on the third floor.
Don't be late or you'll miss the best.
Okay!
I'm counting on you. If you're not there, I'll come and find you.
Let them out.
Sorry, signora, sorry.
Thank you.
When are you going to get rid of that belly?
Good evening, signora!
Goodbye. Good night, signora!
- Who is he? - You know who he is. I told you.
- I feel awkward. I'm not coming. - Don't be silly.
Come on, come on.
Augusto! Augusto! Over here!
Rinaldo! Lovely house you've got.
Picasso! Picasso! Come over here!
Come on, Iris.
Come over here.
- This is Signora Picasso. - Pleased to meet you. Have fun.
Can't you see like this?
Tricks! What tricks?
- But nowadays... - Yes, but not me!
Just a moment. Keep cool. Is all resolved.
Signorina, a friend of mine has arrived, the sculptor Bidone.
- You can trust him, he's an artist. - You're a sculptor?
Of course. He made a monument in Terni to swindlers!
Thas right.
Yes, tomorrow!
- Marì - Why stupid?
Look, signorina, les make something clear.
You want to enter the beauty contest?
You say you've got a good bust, but we don't believe it.
So what should I do?
- Undress! - All right.
- What are you looking at?
Let us have a look, too!
Good evening, signora!
Stop it!
Whas going on? What are you doing?
- Nothing. Is that stupid Marisa. - Whas Marisa doing?
Off you go! Get lost!
Oh, good evening!
Iris!
Iris, come here a moment!
Allow me to introduce my wife!
The signorina - the signora - is the hostess.
Pleased to meet you.
- Shall we dance? - Yes!
Robertino!
Picasso! Who let you in?
Ciao, Roberto. Are you here too?
Is a popular party! Good evening, signora!
Good evening!
- We've come with Augusto. - The old man's here, too?
- We came with him, yes. - Ah, good. Excuse me.
Does Augusto know the host?
Yes, they're old friends. He gave us a lift. He's the one who invited us.
He's quite a character! They said he's made money with...
Oh, yes, I know...
- I didn't know. - And where's Augusto now?
Give me my dress.
- You can enter the contest! - Stop it! Thas enough.
Thas enough! Marisa, go in the room and get dressed.
No, thas enough now! Get dressed!
Is pretty lively in here! May I?
Augusto, you look radiant this evening!
Is it true that you're friends with the host?
What are you after?
What are you up to? Is there something in it for me?
Don't forget, I'm a friend of yours!
May I?
Excuse me. Rinaldo, open up!
- There's no-one in there. - Open up. Creep!
Rinaldo, if you don't open immediately, you'll regret it.
Open up!
- Stop it. There are people here! - I couldn't care less!
Open up!
What are you doing?
Aren't you ashamed? You're your mother's daughter, all right!
Whas going on?
She wasn't feeling well. Someone had to help her.
- Give me a kiss! - I'll give you a kiss!
They're joking, you know?
Les go and forget it with a drink.
She had a fright. Is nothing!
I'm sorry, but I believe you're one of those rare people
capable of appreciating a truly good picture.
So I've taken the liberty...
Ciao, Picasso! May I?
I'm a friend of Augusto's, Roberto Giorgio.
And his friend, too.
You're a great host. I've really enjoyed it!
What were you saying?
That you seemed like someone who really knows about painting!
And I'm your subject!
I said I'm your subject!
You know that a beautiful painting completes the decor.
- Les see what you've got there. - Yes, gladly.
This is a De Pisis. Someone like yourself can see that at a glance.
Did you do it?
No, no. I've been painting for several years...
Is ten to midnight!
Turn the TV back on.
I think he liked it.
How about introducing me to Rinaldo?
You think he needs people like you? Don't make me laugh!
You're a fine friend! You'll pay for this. Augusto!
Give me a whisky.
Rinaldo! Tell him how much you took that time for the fire damage.
Oh, I can't remember.
You're getting on my nerves!
I can't remember. 15, 16 million.
16 million? Tell this fool - he doesn't believe it.
You don't remember how much they gave you? You need a secretary.
Lucì
Excuse me...
Get off. I'm cross with you.
Come on, Lucì
I meant it.
You, with that face?! My secretary? You'd get me arrested immediately.
Nina! What are you doing with the glasses!
I had to wash them. We'd run out.
You go and have a look. She's hopeless.
Up you get.
Rinaldo, listen. I've got to talk to you.
- Les have breakfast tomorrow. - Why?
Les do something together tomorrow.
I'll give you a light.
There's something very important.
Listen.
- What do want to tell me? - Do you remember the Texas Club?
They'll let me rent it for three years - in my name.
I'll guarantee you 30,000 lire a day.
Wouldn't 30,000 interest you?
Grab him!
At midnight we'll throw the old rubbish out the window!
Thas enough now. You're going to ruin my new suit.
No, no, not my trousers!
- Happy New Year. - Cheers!
This year you should hold an exhibition.
Whatever you want.
One of these days, you know what we'll do? We'll go to Venice.
You've got to see it. You can't imagine what Venice is like!
Think what fun Silvana would have in a gondola.
Or maybe... Would you prefer Taormina?
Is marvellous, even in winter.
No, Venice is more poetic. But I'd need an evening gown.
Of course you would. And you'll have one.
Carlo, I don't look right like this.
They're all in evening dress. I knew I shouldn't have come.
You're still the prettiest.
If you weren't already my wife, I'd be making a move for you.
My heaďs spinning. Maybe I've drunk too much.
- But is nice, champagne. - Of course!
Signora, have you seen a gold cigarette case by any chance?
No, I'm sorry.
What are you saying?!
Is midnight and you haven't given me a kiss.
Kiss me!
Don't be disgusting! Look what you've done to my ear, stupid!
- Are you two staying much longer? - Well... yes.
Have you seen? She's wearing five million just on her head.
- Who is she? - Some old hag.
Ugly!
We'll open an investment office in a small town.
If it goes wrong, ill be me who goes inside.
- Rinaldo, I'll put it in my name. - What?
What? The investment office.
Don't you understand? I'm not interested in these things anymore.
Hey, how old are you?
- Why? - Go on, tell me how old you are.
48.
And you're still in the game? Amazing! Shame on you!
Rinaldo.
- Whas up? - Come here a minute.
- What do you want? - Come here!
What a pain!
Les see.
Hey! Here's our most generous host!
I was just coming to thank you and to wish you a happy New Year.
- Thank you. - Yes, thank you.
There's a lady over there who's lost her cigarette case.
Poor thing, I'm sorry.
Hardly surprising in this confusion.
The cigarette case is gold, you know.
I don't understand.
You don't understand? You didn't happen to find it?
You might have picked it up without thinking.
Then, when you get home, out it comes.
You know, I still don't understand.
This guy makes me laugh!
You know what I'd do if I were you?
- Tell me. - I'd look for it and I'd find it.
Whas happened?
It seems the Contessa's been robbed.
The thing is, I'd do that gladly. However...
Look, what are you getting at?
You should think twice before playing games here.
Offer the lady a cigarette.
Are you going to tell me what you mean?
Come on, just pretend you were joking.
Do you understand?
You tell us you were joking and everyone's happy.
So are you going to tell us you were joking? Yes or no?
Okay, I was joking!
You were taken in - tell the truth!
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Satisfied? Happy New Year!
Augù! What friends you've got!
And you go round with them?
Hey, Luci, do up your pockets!
- Iris. - Which way are you going?
Trying to be clever, eh?
Iris!
Nice time to find a taxi.
If your mother wasn't worse than you, she'd have strangled you.
I know, but don't spit in my face.
What are you doing?!
Is not a good idea at your age. Is not advisable.
Taxi!
Ciao. Go to bed. Go on.
Happy New Year, eh?
Augusto, do you want to come with us?
Come on.
No, good night.
Iris!
What kind of joke was that? A cigarette case!
He must have been drunk.
He was definitely drunk.
Do you want a cigarette?
What are you doing with those people?
- What are you up to? - Nothing. We work.
What do you do with Roberto and the other one? What sort of work?
What do you think? You know I always tell you everything.
I never know anything! You never tell me the truth!
I'm not like them, you know. Do you think I want to be ruined?
I work. I don't do anything wrong.
I have to do something to keep you both.
You have to be a thief?! You'll end up in jail!
Iris, please...
Iris, is New Year's! Les not begin the year like this!
I knew straightaway what they were like.
How many times have I told you? And you... nothing. Just lies!
You go away, you come back, I never know where you get the money from.
Nothing but trouble!
And every time I hear the doorbell it stabs me in the heart.
I can't stand it anymore.
Iris, please, don't be like this.
I beg you, calm down!
I love you, Iris! I'll do anything you want! I promise!
I won't go round with them anymore. They won't see me ever again.
I'll find a way of earning. I'll sell my paintings.
I don't believe you any longer.
You're right, I know.
I promise you, I'll turn over a new leaf.
I swear, Iris. Believe me, darling!
You're always saying these things.
Yes, I know. But I've only got you and the child.
I only think of you two.
You know I don't mind having no money. I'm not scared.
I just want you to stay with me, like when we were first married.
Now you kiss my hand!
- Do you want a cigarette now? - Yes.
You'll see one of these days what I'll do to you.
You just laugh.
Anyway, happy New Year.
Les go and see whas happening over there.
Hey! Happy New Year. Where are you going?
Hang on a minute. Come with us.
There's no better way to start the new year.
We'll bring you luck, we will! Come on!
Goodbye!
Hey, big belly!
Augusto!
Augusto! Over here! Come here!
Have you seen? What a gem!
- Whose is this car? - Come on, get in!
Wouldn't you like to know?
But my mystery is locked in me...
There he is! Picasso!
What a fantastic car! Are we going in this?
Where are the coats? Let me try one on.
Put it on carefully - they're a bit flimsy.
They cost 1,600 each!
But they make a good impression. 1,600 lire is 1,600 lire.
They've conned you, you know.
They're not expensive.
Next time, YOU go. You're an artist, you'll negotiate better.
But buttons cost what they cost.
Don't fold your arms. Hands out of your pockets. Don't wake the moths.
It smells of rats!
Augusto, please, go and get some cigarettes.
How much does this car cost to hire per day?
Zero point zero. It belongs to the old hag. She's conked out.
Augusto, the cigarettes! Get a move on.
I told him - Professore, this isn't part of the syllabus.
Papà!
- Patrizia! - Papà!
You've changed. I wouldn't have recognised you!
It is you, isn't it?
- What are you doing? - I'm coming.
Isn't there any school today?
There was no maths so we left an hour early.
Are you going for a walk?
Yes.
And your mamma?
She's fine. She had flu but now she's better.
You've really changed. You're a lady now.
I haven't seen you since last Christmas.
Patrizia!
Just a minute, I'm coming!
Go on, they're waiting for you.
One of these days I'll come and see you. Or I'll phone you.
All right.
No, I mean it. I promise.
Yes, yes.
Ciao, Patrizia!
Ciao, Papà.
Good morning, gentlemen!
Hello, boy! Ten litres.
- Super? - Superissimo!
Nice for some. Do nothing from dawn to dusk and earn a bomb!
- Am I right? - Of course!
In fact, all the land round here is mine!
If you only knew, sir!
Damn it, once a man has worked his whole life,
he should have the right to let up! What hours do you work?
There aren't any hours.
If you want to eat every day, you have to be here at night too.
Oil? Water?
No, check the tyres. See if they're okay.
How much is it?
1,380 lire.
Fine. But I'm not going to pay you.
We're broke, and I have to be at the Terni prefecture by 12.30.
You know what we'll do?
I owe you 1, 380. You give me 10,000.
This evening, on my way back, I'll give you 13,000.
Come on, what do you say?
What do you mean?
What? Out with it.
I only asked what you meant.
You don't trust me? Go on, say you don't trust me!
No, I trust you. Is just I don't understand.
I'll give you my coat. Have you heard this?
He wants my coat!
Is not that I don't trust you.
Les give him the coat.
Will that do as a deposit?
Yes.
Roberto! Roberto!
Have you told him you're leaving him a coat worth at least 50,000 lire?
Poor wretch! He doesn't trust me.
You never want to see me again. Don't touch with those oily hands!
Here. Wait a minute!
This would be a bit much. My watch!
You would have got a bargain!
I trust you because you're a signore.
Thank you. I'm leaving you this.
Show me where you're going to put it.
He's a friend, the old chap!
- Morning. - Good morning.
Petrol?
Ten of super.
- Is the tank behind there? - Yes.
Olé S'il vous plait!
Look, les try our strength!
- Shall we have a go? - Of course!
Augusto, do you remember this song?
Test your muscles!
Hey, les go and see the medieval fortress!
Cut it out, stupid!
Can you hear that idiot?
Quiet...
Is a stable.
Are there really no women in this village? There's not even one!
Hey, women!
Imagine the people who live here! You'd shoot yourself!
Ladies and gentlemen, pure English wool! Guaranteed.
Pure wool - super-resistant!
Indestructible!
Hey! Mind the bullfight! Ready for the bull? Olé
Mind out or you'll do your head in!
He made it. Is all right.
We need something more serious. We can't go on like this.
Who wants to go on like this?
I'm not stupid. This is just a bit of fun to keep us going.
I can sing.
As soon as I've put a bit of money aside, I'm going to study.
I've already bought all Johnny Ray's records. He's really my style!
You'll never study.
I don't want to end up like you. I've got your example, old boy.
Augusto!
Come and have a look.
Picasso! Cut it out!
Come on. I'll pay for everyone.
How much will it cost?
- Come on! - No, I want to go for a spin.
Where are you taking me?
- Stop it! - Look at the state you're in!
Augusto, how much would a merry-go-round cost?
Roberto, a merry-go-round...
See what happens when you let him drink!
I don't feel well.
I let him drink?! Two glasses. He's a lightweight!
Two glasses! More like a bottle.
Leave him there! Leave him!
Let me stay here.
You know that a whiff of wine is enough to set him off.
Is this what you call fun?
Come and wash your face.
Come on!
Come on, hit him over the head!
Stop it!
Leave me alone!
You two...
You two, leave me alone.
- Hey, hey, you! - Where are you off to now?
- To ask something. - Wait for us.
Leave me alone.
Go away! You too, Augusto!
Go away!
How do you feel?
I feel bad.
You two do what you want.
I'm going home.
You can go to Florence. Don't worry about me.
I want to go home. There must be a train that passes through here.
Where are you going? You can hardly stand up.
Come here, take this thing off.
Have a walk and you'll feel better.
One of these days I won't have a home anymore.
I can't keep going around with you two.
Iris suspects something.
She's always asking questions.
I can't keep telling her all these lies.
One of these days she'll take the child and go back to her mother.
She will!
And if she takes my little girl...
I'll kill myself!
This is what happens when you get married at 18.
Don't you see? You're finished!
Get another job while there's still time.
Find something better.
Why?
But I've got the right face.
Look. You've always said that with this face I can fool anyone.
I look like an angel.
Leave me anywhere in the world, even where I don't know anyone,
and I'd always fall on my feet.
Say, "A million".
Come on, you heard, say, "A million".
A millio...
You can't even say it, let alone imagine a million!
Whatever money you earn, you take to your wife, you fool!
Augusto...
In our line of work, you can't have a family.
You have to be free to come and go as you please,
not be tied to your wife's apron-strings!
You have to be alone.
When you're young, you have to be free -
is even more important than the air that you breathe.
If you're scared now,
wait till you're my age.
The years pass.
Come on, up you get.
Come on.
The walk will do you good.
- Better now? - Yes, better.
I'm not coming to Florence, though. I'm going home.
Oh, come on, we'll have fun - we'll make a packet.
No, I'm going home.
Augusto, how do you do it?
I admire you, you know - I wish I had your courage...
But how can you go on like this at your age?
Are you never afraid?
Afraid of what?
No, I'm not like you. I...
Hey, is starting to rain!
Augusto!
Picasso! Voici Miss Frosinone!
Look at Roberto!
Have you seen what kind of friend I am?
Wait! Come on.
Augusto, where are you going?
Come on!
Picasso, come on! Hurry up!
Look at the girl I've met!
Signora Luigina, a local gentlewoman. Augusto, our spiritual grandfather.
The signora has expressed the desire to take a romantic stroll.
Keep your hands to yourself! Everyone knows me here.
What do you want? Oh, just a minute.
I was asleep.
We haven't got long. My husband comes home at midnight.
Les go. Is raining.
- Whas your husband doing? - Working.
Nice car!
- Thank you, Amilcare. - Signora.
Where do you think you're going? What are you up to?
Picassino, go and get some sleep. We'll see you tomorrow morning.
Ciao!
This is cosy!
There's even a radio. Can you turn it on?
Home...
Yes, I'm going home.
I'm going home.
Have you been waiting long?
No, you're right on time.
Let me have a look at you.
Very smart!
Hang on.
There's no need...
Thank you.
Is a lovely day. Why don't we go and eat at Monte Mario?
Les go.
Or a restaurant in town?
I don't mind as long as I'm back home by seven.
In that case, Monte Mario.
I've put on weight, haven't I?
No, you're just fine.
Do you know how old I am? 48.
Thas not so old.
What will you do when you've finished school?
I've got to decide whether to continue or stop.
It would mean four years of university. Thas a bit long.
Whas wrong, don't you like studying?
Yes, I do. I'd like to continue.
Mamma would like me to, too, but I can't keep burdening her.
After university, what would you do?
- Teach. - What?
- I'd teach. - Would you like that?
Yes. I want to find a job in my spare time so I can pay for my studies.
Lots of my friends do. One friend works as a cashier.
- And how much does a cashier earn? - 30, 35.
- How much?! - 35.
35,000 lire! What can you do with that?! No-one can live on that!
Thas what the pay is, more or less.
A lot of people live like that.
Here's the dessert and Cognac.
Young people have to earn a living.
But to work as a cashier you need a deposit of 300,000 lire.
Who's got that?
Oh! Thas lovely!
- Really lovely! - Do you like it?
Is lovely!
- Keep it. Is yours. - Is a bit much for me.
Don't be silly. Is nothing.
Be careful when you wind it up, though, because... is very fragile.
Thank you, Papà. Is really lovely.
Waiter, the bill, please!
There, look.
- Is a bit far back. - We're better off there.
They thought we were a couple!
- Can you see? - Yes.
If you go on studying, I'll see to that deposit.
2- or 300,000 lire is nothing to me. I can find that no problem.
Oh, Papà!
- Do you want an ice cream? - Yes, thank you.
Two ice creams.
On Sunday we'll go out together.
All right.
Thank you.
Ice cream, sweets!
Whas wrong? Don't you feel well?
Is nothing.
Ice cream!
I'm going to get some cigarettes.
Hello. How are you?
Been looking for you for six months.
Can't we talk tomorrow?
Tomorrow! No, we'll talk now!
- I'll tell you now! - Please...!
Scum! I'll unbung your ears once and for all, you crook!
Go outside and argue!
- Look who it is! - There he is. Well done!
Can we go outside, please?
Why do I have to go to the police station?
He's still asking me what he's done!
Sort it out at the police station.
I'll break his bones!
- Excuse me! - Whas going on?
Please, let me go.
- Whas going on? - You know what this murderer did?
He sold me fake terramycin and nearly killed my brother.
- Stop it! - Calm down!
- Thas enough! - Thief? Me?!
Papà!
Whas he done?
Cut it out!
Les go to the police station. Come on!
- Les go! - Go home.
You can sort it out at the police station. Les go!
Go home!
Sergeant!
Keep back! Keep back!
Well, what are you going to do now?
I haven't got a clue!
- Could you give me a cigarette? - Of course.
Make sure you don't end up in here again.
- Thanks. Ciao. - Ciao, and good luck.
And let them kidnap my mother?!
No, no.
I won't be in Rome this week.
The lawyer.
The lawyer's been arrested.
How should I know? Something to do with signatures.
Okay.
Hello.
Look who's back again! What will it be? Cognac?
No, a Negroni.
Where've you been all this time? Out of Rome?
Have you seen Roberto this morning?
The fair-haired one? Is a while since I've seen him.
Ciao.
- Roberto who? Roberto Giorgio? - Yes.
He's in Milan.
Since when?
It must be three months.
Whas he doing in Milan?
He's doing fine. I saw him with an Aurelia Sport.
Yes, an Aurelia Sport.
And Barone Vargas. Have you seen him?
I saw him yesterday, but not today.
But he still comes here?
Not so often.
Pay at the till.
Good morning!
- Are you Paolo Gazzese? - Yes.
Monsignore, is him. We have something very important to discuss.
There's a bone here!
Monsignore! A bone!
And there's even a skull! Look!
It weighs a ton! Give me a hand!
I could do with a coffee.
Me too.
Susanna, what are you doing here? Go into the other room.
Very sorry, Monsignore.
Monsignore, this is my daughter. Ah, Renata, take her through there.
Is my younger daughter, poor thing. God made her like that.
- Come on. - 'Scuse us.
I've got the list of the treasure.
There must be something in here...
Oh, no, I've done it.
What is this?! The Bank of Italy?
Look at that. Monsignore.
As I said...
the treasure is all yours.
The deceased left precise instructions as to the conditions.
But what you've got to remember is not to mention it to anyone.
Monsignore! Please, please. Don't worry.
The gentleman hasn't got the whole sum needed for the masses here.
- He's only got... How much? - 350,000 lire.
350,000 lire. What are we going to do?
It doesn't matter. We're not mercenaries.
We'll take what you've got. Give us the rest another time.
You can come back, Father. I'll explain to His Eminence.
I put this money aside because I was going to go to the fair tomorrow
to buy a beast to help with my work.
I've got to put something aside,
not for myself but for those two girls.
One works like a man but the other, poor thing, is crippled!
And when I'm gone, who'll see to them?
Go on with you. Don't say that. God abandons no-one.
Look what providence has sent you. Isn't it true, Monsignore?
Of course! I wish I was as unlucky as this peasant!
The Lord doesn't abandon His creatures.
Have you got the money?
Yes, I've got it here.
Do take it!
Oh, Monsignore!
Is getting late, Monsignore. His Eminence expects us at five.
Is true, we'd better be off. Thank you and congratulations.
Monsignore! Monsignore! Pardon me.
Would you be kind enough to speak to my child?
- But I can't. - Please, Monsignore! Just a word.
Wait a moment.
Thank you! Thank you so much!
But don't tell her I asked you to.
The Monsignore wants to say hello. I'll get a chair, Monsignore.
No, I have to go. No, no, stay there.
Whas your name?
Susanna.
You have to have faith in God, child.
I know is a terrible thing, but you have to accept His will.
This is a valley of tears and everyone has their own cross to bear.
Yes, I know. I'm not complaining.
If it weren't for them.
What do you mean, "them"?
If I weren't a burden on my family, I wouldn't care at all!
In your state, you're worried about them?
She's always got this idea that she's a burden on us, our daughter!
Why do you say that?
And is not true, Monsignore. She's always working.
She's better at sums than a teacher.
And she embroiders! Look what work she does! Let me show the Monsignore.
Look what beautiful embroidery!
She did it.
Has she always been like that?
No, Monsignore, it happened when she was nine. Infant paralysis.
Mamma. Mamma, go over there.
- How old are you? - 18.
Nine years!
But I'm fine here!
I've got my embroidery, I listen to music.
I'm like a queen.
Is for my sister that life's hard.
She's been working in the fields since four this morning.
But wouldn't you like to get better?
But... is impossible!
No...
It would take a miracle!
Sometimes miracles do happen.
Oh, yes, I know.
Do you believe in them?
Yes, I do.
Why?
I don't know why, but I do believe in them.
Through my misfortune I've found God.
I'm always happy...
even when I'm in terrible pain.
This embroidery is beautiful.
Are you going, Monsignore?
I have to go now. I have to go.
You don't need me.
You're much better off than a lot of other people.
Our life...
the life of so many people I know, has nothing beautiful in it.
You're not missing much.
No, you don't need me.
And I have nothing to give you.
Monsignore! Wait! Don't go away!
Pray for me! Pray for me!
Let go!
Couldn't you have made that hole a bit deeper this morning?
You really made me slave away.
- Well, how did it go? - 350,000 lire.
Thas all he had in the house so we decided to go.
You did the right thing. I didn't expect you so soon.
Who's got the keys?
He's got them. Give him the keys.
Whas this song called?
The "Menga" symphony - the Swindler's symphony.
You're really overdoing it with those treasure chests!
Even an idiot would have realised is phoney stuff.
Remember that time in Viterbo with those pieces of glass?
These peasants! What a con!
What an isolated spot!
Would you like to have a nice villa up here, Antò
Isn't there an echo here?
- And the bottle of Cognac? - I drank the Cognac.
I was sweating so much, is enough to give you pneumonia.
Since this morning I've had a twinge here. I told my wife too.
She said, "You work too hard," and is true.
- Antonio, where's the bottle? - Here!
- What are you doing? - Adding water.
I had to come all the way up in second. You should get rid of it.
- Who's got the money? - Augusto.
You really are a pack of vultures. I haven't got the money.
I didn't take it.
How could I take it?
You wouldn't even stop at robbing your own mothers!
I couldn't do it, Vargas.
I didn't have the heart.
He was a poor old wretch with a crippled daughter.
He works to keep her out of the hospice.
Whas he saying?
Augù, I saw when you took it!
- I gave it back! - When?
I gave it back, okay?
You're the biggest rogue I've ever met.
You had 350,000 in your hand and you let it go? You?
Have I ever conned you? I just couldn't do it.
There's no point in looking.
Les have a look.
I was the one who had to speak to the girl!
A poor wretch stuck in a chair since she was nine
who knows she'll never get better.
She looks you in the eye, kisses your hand,
asks you to pray for her.
I'd like to have seen what you'd have done, if you call yourselves men!
I've got a daughter. I couldn't do it.
All for nothing, all this effort - we risked jail!
- Are you out of your mind? - Can't I have a conscience too?
Thad be something new!
Is it really true?
I swear.
Les go.
Just a moment!
We're all friends here.
Fine words. I was moved too, but I don't believe you! Let me see!
Get off me! Don't touch me!
Augù, what are you doing? Come here.
I was there too, remember? I was with you too,
and I saw you take it.
If you want to have fun, les have fun. But thas enough.
I haven't got the money!
So if you haven't got it, why are you bothered?
Get off me!
You've hurt my elbow, you scum!
He's got the money on him!
Come on, then! Come on!
You think is going to end like this?
What a crook you are!
Hit him! Break his bones!
You scum! You wanted to cheat me?
You'll bring it to me on your knees!
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Where are you going? Where do you think you're going?
My back!
No, stop! My back!
My back!
- Where is it? - Stop!
Here it is!
In his shoe! The coward!
I'll break his back. He's got it!
Thas mine. I need it. Leave me alone!
He's got it all on him!
Where's the money?
- Here. Count it. - Swine!
Here's the money. Filthy coward.
- Give me the money! - In his pockets, shoes, everywhere!
The crippled daughter?
You're finished working with me. And now you won't work with anyone else.
He nearly convinced me!
Crook!
Come on. Les leave him here to look after himself.
Scum!
Vargas, I'm in pain.
Go to hell!
Les go.
See what friends you've got, leaving you here in the country?
What a stupid trick! The stupidest trick of your life.
Vargas! Vargas, I'm in pain!
Who are you trying to kid?
Vargas! Don't leave me!
I've hurt myself, really.
I can't move!
Riccardo!
Riccardo, listen!
- You're my friend. - Of course!
Don't leave me here!
You're young!
I can teach you. I can teach you...
I can teach you so much.
What? To be a wretch like you?
I've got some money stashed away!
Les halve it. Don't leave me here!
Vargas, I know you're there!
Are you trying to frighten me?
Thas enough now.
Vargas!
Vargas.
Vargas!
Of course they'll come back.
If I die...
I can't die like this.
But... if I die...
Help! Help!
Help!
I knew it would end like this.
I always knew it.
Whas the point of going on?
I don't have to look after anyone.
Thas why I'm going to die.
Vargas!
Oh, Patrizia, my child!
I'm better now.
I can do it.
Wait for me!
I'm coming.
I'm coming with you.
THE END