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脸书 谷歌与亚马逊都在剥削个资以盈利 Facebook, Google, and Amazon exploit our data for profit.
我会帮助各位 I will help you by building an internet of the people
打造民有 民治 民享的网路 by the people and for the people,
我以上苍发誓 so help me God.
魔笛手
《硅谷》前情提要
你再三担保不会搜集个资 You said all that stuff about not collecting user data.
-但是我在搜集 -我居然对国会说谎 - But I am. - I just lied to Congress.
呼利公司
呼利会以独立公司继续活下去 Hooli will remain an independent entity,
要裁员或缩减也在所不惜 even if we have to shed a few divisions and trim a little fat.
疯狂烤鸡
葛华的点子很好 Gwart has a really good idea,
但她完全不懂商业模式 but she doesn't have a business plan.
你好 我是杰瑞 Hi, I'm Jared.
我们把你的不法行为全都分类完成 We were able to break down all of your misdeeds.
这浑球跟狗一样龌龊 被我们抓住马脚了 This guy is dirty as a dog, and we got him.
当然了 Oh, hell yes.
这是最棒的资料搜集软体 It's the greatest data aggregating platform.
理查专门替我们开发的 And Richard developed it specifically for us.
柯林今早把新版格鲁大门 So this morning, Colin cut a new build of Gates of Galloo
放上游戏伺服器 to his staging server.
好 这是贝德里 Okay, um, this is Baldereach,
格鲁国的首都 capital city of Galloonia.
还有穿着果冻铠甲的僵尸骑士 Those are some ghoul knights, wearing gelatinous armor.
不过是很普通的游戏 This is just the game, pretty standard stuff.
打开麦克风 Well, until I...
就知道不同了 turn on the microphone.
理查好 饿不饿 要不要来点披萨呢 How are you doing, Richard? Are you hungry? Would you like some pizza?
达美乐披萨
搞什么 What the fuck?
他居然用我们的应用程式介面 He's using our API
直接在游戏引擎上播广告 to run ads directly in the game engine?
很夸张吧 Crazy, right?
达美乐披萨 Domino's Pizza
出现在中世纪的幻想王国里 in a fantasy medieval universe.
至少玩了会想度个假 Why, it's enough to make you wanna go on vacation.
还用我们的技术侦测用户情感 And he's even using our ability to track sentiment.
就算我讲一堆没意义的话 Yeah. Even if I say nonsense words,
也能侦测到情绪 it assigns them an emotional value.
抗抑郁药 按摩服务
老天爷 Fuck me.
所以若不除掉柯林 但偏偏除不掉 So, unless we get rid of Colin, which we can't,
他就要在我们的网路上搞这出 he is going to put this on our network.
钱真是万恶根源 Money just perverts everything.
我目前是不介意行个小恶 At this point, I could stand to be a little perverted.
是啊 我真希望自己变态至极 Yeah, I wanna be a lot perverted.
钞票跟他老婆通电话时 我可以用嘴帮忙 I wanna blow money while it talks to its wife on the phone.
-要我吹 -够了 - I wanna suck money... - All right.
色情影音网站
麦克风没关 Microphone.
小猫 小狗 联合国 Kittens, puppies, United Nations!
《硅谷》
第一季 第二集
理查 现在方便吗 Richard, is this an okay time?
太方便了 杰瑞 It's a great time, Jared.
我周围所有人全都冲着我来 I'm surrounded on all sides by people who turn on me.
-那我晚点过来吧 -不用 没关系 - I can come back. - No. No, no, it's fine.
怎么了 What do you got?
这是什么 What is this?
这是我的辞呈 It's my resignation letter.
我要走了 I'm leaving.
什么 What?
只因柯林这一小件糗事 你就打算走人吗 One gaff with Colin, and you're just gonna walk away?
不只是什么糗事 理查 It's about so much more than that, Richard.
我为此痛苦不堪 睡不着吃不下 I've been agonizing over this. Not sleeping, not eating...
完全忘记教子的四十岁生日 I completely forgot my godson's 40th birthday.
理查 魔笛手不是我当初想效力的公司了 Richard, Pied Piper isn't the same company that I signed up for.
公司如今有不同的需求 你也一样 She has different needs now, and so do you.
结果原来 and, it turns out,
我也是 so do I.
好了 杰瑞 Okay, Jared...
公司现在鸟事一堆 we are in the middle of a shit storm here.
我想尽量坦白讲出想法 I'm trying to handle this as honestly as possible.
骇客小窝有个菜鸟工程师需要我的协助 There's a founder at the hacker hostel, and she needs my help, and...
-一旦脱离这边的羁绊 -羁绊 - once I'm free of encumbrances... - Encumbrances?!
我罪该万死 杰瑞 我才不想绊住你 Oh! Well, fuck me, Jared. I don't want to encumber you.
好 去替新老板效力吧 我希望她 Okay. Go to your new boss. I hope she's not a...
不像我一样没用 你这 big of a fuck-up as I am, you...
叛徒 buddy-fucker.
-我才不是叛徒 -你就是 杰瑞 - I'm not a buddy-fucker. - Oh, yes, you are, Jared.
你就是叛徒 You are a buddy-fucker.
我是你兄弟 I am your buddy,
你却这样背叛我 and you are fucking me. Ergo,
没错 这就叫叛徒 you are a buddy-fucker.
再见 Goodbye.
-理查 我不 -再见 杰瑞 谢谢你 - Richard, I'm not... - Goodbye, Jared. Thank you.
我喜欢现在的温度 I like it how it is.
可是太热了 But it's too warm.
我想要热一点 I want it warm.
好吧 Okay.
疯狂烤鸡与呼利公司
各位先生 还有女士 Gentlemen, and lady,
不久前 我联系大家 a short time ago, I reached out to you and asked you
呼利公司
合作战略汇报和五年计划 首席执行官盖文·贝尔森向董事会的简报
想请各位投资这前所未见 to invest, sight unseen, in a newer,
更短小精干且专注的呼利 leaner, and more focused Hooli.
你们以往掏过钱 And invest you did,
判断根据并非常见的报表或精算表 guided not by traditional spreadsheets or actuarial tables,
-而是各位敏锐的财务 -盖文 - but by your own highly attuned financial... - Gavin,
废话少说 cut the bullshit.
我们还剩什么 What do we still own?
骷髅顿先生 Mr. Skelton.
恕我直言 As candid and as forthright as ever.
-您就算上了年纪还是一样 -盖文 - Age has not dulled one iota of... - Gavin.
好 我准备了简报 Of course. I had prepared a presentation,
但我现在还是直接进入结论 but I suppose I can just skip to the end.
希望不会失去各位的支持 Hopefully, I won't lose you.
好了 Okay...
甘地语录
马雅·安杰洛诗作
孔子名言
孔夫子 约翰·蓝侬 尼采 Confucius, John Lennon, Nietzsche,
艾茵·兰德 史提夫·汪达 重点来了 Nietzsche, Ayn Rand, Steve Wonder, and here we go!
呼利公司产品名录 最佳产品
眼前就是 As you can see,
呼利仍持有的宝贵资产 among the many jewels still in Hooli's crown
包括精彩的文书处理软体 are our exciting suite of office...
网路服务呢 Where is web services?
贝佐斯认为能充分整并到亚马逊网路服务系统中 Well, Mr. Bezos felt it would fold nicely into his AWS,
-所以他坚持 -智慧音箱和居家助手呢 - so he insisted... - Smart speaker and in-home?
-他也抢走了吗 -呼利居家助手确实 - He took that, too? - HooliHome was, indeed, subsumed
-被亚马逊智能助理整并了 -精准搜索呢 - By the Amazon Alexa... - Targeted search?
说来讽刺 搜索不到了 Ironically, also missing.
但我们还有呼利电话和专利程式 But we maintain rights to the HooliPhone and its proprietary apps,
呼利圆盘滑鼠的专利 the patent for the Hooli Puck Mouse.
网路行销服务也守住了 We also maintain our web-based marketplaces,
包含即将开发的生活网路平台 including our up-and-coming lifestyle networking platform,
-散兵坑 -那是什么烂东西 - Foxhole. - What the fuck is that?!
散兵坑很令人期待 Fo-well, Foxhole is a very exciting
是网路交流平台 专为现役军人设计 web-based exchange, catering to those in the military,
-让他们顺利找到婚外情 -盖文 - who are interested in having extramarital affairs. - Gavin,
我们八位到什么时候 when do you expect the eight of us will
才会得到投资报酬 recoup our investment?
问得好 就在下一页 Yes! That's my very next slide.
但先看这张 After this one.
再撑一下
运气好的话 Well, with a little luck,
我们能在三年内 转亏为盈并获利五倍 we'll be profitable and up 5X inside three years.
给你三个月 赚不到钱就滚 You got three months, or you're out.
梅兰妮接手所有杰瑞的 So, Melanie will take on all of Jared's
行销任务 葛雯负责业务开发 marketing duties, Gwen will cover biz dev,
这样分工就完整了 and that should take care of it.
你看行吗 Does this scan to you?
-我看行 -没问题 - I can see it. - Okay, great.
-那好 回去工作了 -伯崔恩 - Okay, back to work. - Uh, Bertram,
趁你在时聊聊吧 while I have you...
我人在心不在 You don't have me.
理查刚才请我 提高产能 Richard's just tasked me with streamlining productivity
和平衡劳力 and balancing headcount.
你能否解释手下为何没有员工 Can you explain to me why you have no one working under you?
流程板上显示你延宕得很严重 It just seems odd considering that the agile board is showing that
实在不太合理 you have a massive backlog.
你是新来的 You're new here,
我姑且原谅你这样没大没小 so I'll forgive the patronizing tone.
我觉得做好工作 I'm more concerned with being right
比抢快重要 than being fast,
况且我不喜欢跟人合作 话说到此 and I don't like dealing with people. To wit,
明白了吧 Are we done?
原来你是那种角色 You're "That guy."
请问是哪种角色 What "Guy" Exactly?
阴沉傲慢 The brooding, arrogant guy
不听指令的人 who refuses to take orders?
自学编码 所以瞧不起 Self-taught coder who looks down on
任何上过课的工程师 anyone who's taken a class.
你或许是无神论者 You're probably an atheist
不然就是爱唱反调 or something more contrarian.
嘴上说自己是无政府资本主义者 You claim to be an anarcho-capitalist,
却在这里工作 也乖乖纳税 but you work here and pay taxes.
你或许读了半本尼尔史蒂芬森的《密码宝典》 You've probably read half of Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon,
有五成的机率养了蛇 and it's about 50/50 whether you own a snake.
他的女友养蛇 His girlfriend owns a snake.
我读完整本《密码宝典》了 I finished Cryptonomicon,
你看过我的档案就能知道这些事 and you easily could've just looked in my file.
我不用读就知道了 I didn't need to.
-我派五个工程师给你 -这是不智之举 - I'm assigning you five coders. - Inadvisable.
听见了 Noted.
明天一早再派去给你 I'll send them over first thing tomorrow.
若硬要丢五个人给我 If you're going to throw five randoms under me,
至少让我自己选吧 at least let me pick my team.
-可以 -好吧 - Fair enough. - Good.
乔治亚 Georgia?
你想把公司整个搬到乔治亚 You want to move the entire company to Georgia?
-为什么 -硅谷现在贵得离谱 - Why? - Well, the Valley's become prohibitively expensive.
瞧瞧这些数据 Look at these numbers.
要是搬到乔治亚 If we move to Georgia,
不只省钱 也许还能得到投资 we can save a fortune and get a further investment.
这是唯一的出路 It's the only way.
我是听说南方的 Well, I have heard good things about
食物很好吃 the food scene in the Dirty South.
像是流浪者合唱团 还有黑人兄弟野餐会 Stankonia. Freaknik.
-周遭有色人种比较多也好 -什么 - Might be nice to be around more people of color. - What?
我说的不是亚特兰大市 Not Atlanta.
是第比利斯 我说的是乔治亚国 才不是州 Tbilisi. The country of Georgia, not the state.
什么 What?
盖文 Gavin?
第比利斯绝对静谧宜人 Tbilisi is no doubt a wonderfully rustic place,
但你不怕从此失去存在感吗 but do you not fear losing a local presence,
从此失去和科技界重心的连结 a connection with the beating heart of the technology industry?
也就是要踩稳地盘 Boots on the ground, so to speak.
留在这里比较明智 老板 I think it's wise, sir.
可恶 你们说得对 Shit. You're right.
我必须待在这里守住地位 I need to be here to maintain my relevance.
好吧 执行备用计划 All right then. Plan B.
你俩带着团队搬到白俄罗斯 You two and the team will move to Belarus.
只要靠近车诺比强制疏散区 If we can get close enough to the Chernobyl exclusion zone,
那就是买方说了算 it's a buyer's market,
有了我们缩小规模 and with the money we save from substantially
到第比利斯省下的钱 downgrading from Tbilisi,
加上白俄罗斯提供的大量投资 plus the bigger Belarusian investment we've been offered,
我就继续在市区的小窝待命 I'll maintain a pied-a-terre here in town.
两位以后可得多担待点 Now, I'll need to rely much more heavily on you
因为他们难得见到我 because you probably won't see me much.
你们要领导团队 I'll need you to guide the troops
排除语言隔阂 and bridge the language gap,
但是 but...
天啊 God damn,
我真是太尊敬两位了 I respect the hell out of you both.
你确定吗 Are you sure about this?
对 不 Yeah. Yeah, no. We-we
那么差劲的游戏不能挂在我们网路上 we can't have that atrocious game anywhere on our network.
得想办法募资 We have to do a raise.
现在的时机很糟 Well, it's a terrible time to do it, but...
但由你决定 I mean, it's your call.
但金额一定不能小 It's gonna have to be a big number though.
很好 Yeah, good.
要安排几场面谈了吧 I guess we should set up some meetings, yeah?
-这样太费时 -我们取个捷径吧 - Too time-consuming. - Let's jump-start the process.
你想不想做公益 Are you feeling charitable?
每天只要三十九分钱 Just 39 cents a day can literally
就能喂饱这样一整个家庭 feed an entire family like this.
各位想想 能不做吗 Think about it, then ask yourself...
打击饥荒
这里是风险投资名人堂 All right, so this place is the who's who of VCs,
你去晃一圈 看一下有哪些人 so let's do a lap, take inventory,
到时候从最大的公司下手再 and we'll start with the biggest firm, work our way down to...
-萝莉 -莫妮卡 理查 - Laurie! - Monica. Richard.
你在这里做什么 What are you doing here?
我猜跟两位一样 The same as you, I suppose.
一边吃鱼子酱 Eating caviar and...
一边打击饥荒 hacking famine.
不是 我以为你搬去中国了 No, I thought you moved to China.
莫妮卡 搬家的美妙之处 The interesting thing about moving, Monica,
在于能做不只一次 我回来了 is that you can do it more than once. I am back.
不瞒你说 You may be intrigued to know
我切断了老姚和姚网路的连结 that I have severed ties with Yao and YaoNet.
所以你要回来做风险投资吗 So, you're going back to VC?
不对 Oh, no.
你误会了 You misunderstand.
我让老姚和他的网路断开连结了 I have severed ties between Yao and YaoNet.
老姚被开除 我顺利成为 Yao has been exited, and I have made myself
该公司执行长 the CEO of the company,
我要把公司迁回美国 which I am moving back to the US,
为了让公司听来更美式 and in order to make it sound more American,
我要把它更名为 I am renaming it
"美国姚网路" "YaoNetUS."
等等 你要在美国设立公司 Wait. So, you're launching here?
对 少了那些中国佬 Yes, and with those Chinese out of the way,
我终于能无情展现高效率了 I can finally be more ruthlessly efficient.
话说到此 Speaking of,
失陪 excuse me.
-什么 这是开玩笑吗 -理查 - What? Are you fucking kidding me? - Richard,
放轻松 她的技术矮我们一截 relax, okay, she's got inferior tech,
手上也没有任何工程师 记得她当时管 she's got no developers. You remember when
艾克罗的惨况吗 执行长做不到一周就被轰下台 she tried to run Eklow? She's gonna last a week as CEO.
你看她分明是走投无路了 I mean, look at her. She's desperate.
晚宴才刚开始就进入调情模式 She's already in total flirt mode.
只要妥善管理 I do believe with proper management...
她跟我们一样缺钱 She needs money just like we do.
我们管好自己就够了 Let's just worry about us, okay?
我会介绍你 I will introduce you, and just...
交给我来讲 let me do the talking, okay?
-千万别开口 -你是魔笛手的理查亨卓斯 - Don't speak until... - Richard Hendricks from Pied Piper.
我是葛维公司的艾克里维拉 Eric Rivera, Graves Partners.
我看了你的国会证词 I saw your congressional testimony,
心想 and I thought, man,
一定要找这家伙聊聊 I really need to talk to that guy.
这样啊 那可好 You did? Huh, cool.
对 你的商业模型糟糕透顶 Yeah. I mean, you committed to a really bad business model,
还在全国电视网上声明 on national TV.
我好想知道 I guess I just wanted to know,
你到底在想什么 what the hell were you thinking?
跟脸书杠上是一回事 I mean, picking a fight with Facebook is one thing,
但同时向谷歌及亚马逊开战呢 but shitting on Google and Amazon at the same time,
还让电视播出来 你脑子有洞吗 in front of TV cameras? What was going on in your brain?
还有呼利 我也骂了他们 And-and Hooli. I-I shit on them, too, so...
我们整个办公室都聚在电视前 I mean, we're all sitting in front of the TV in our office,
心想这家伙这真是科技业的傻蛋 thinking this is the dumbest man in tech.
大家聊过后才觉得这么说 And then we talked about it, and we realized, hang on,
-对你并不公平 -这样啊 太好了 - That is totally unfair. - Yeah, you did? Good.
毕竟你被传唤 Yeah, because, I mean, you were subpoenaed,
毕竟你被传唤 要先宣誓坦承 right? You were under oath?
-倒也束手无策 -其实那时我没宣誓 - What were you supposed to do? - Technically, I don't...
你 不用宣誓坦承 You weren't... you weren't under oath?
其实不用 I don't think so.
你在开玩笑吗 Are you kidding me?
卡尔 班恩 快过来听听 Wait. Karl, Ben! Come over here. You gotta hear this.
我们猜错了 再讲一次给他们听 We were wrong, man! Tell them what you just told me.
你是魔笛手的理查亨卓斯吗 Richard Hendricks, from Pied Piper, yes?
不是 Uh, no.
我是马克西莫雷耶斯 智利的投资人 Maximo Reyes. I am an investor from Chile.
我真得说很荣幸能见到您 Wow, I gotta tell you, it is an honor to meet you, man.
我非常佩服您研发的科技 Truly, I am such a big fan of your technology.
你确定吗 -那当然 幸会 - What, like, really, or... - Of course. Hi.
我们握手了 We are shaking hands.
没错 Correct?
但应该有更重要的人士在等您 But I'm sure you have more important people to talk to,
您之前清楚表明 you know, and, you have made it painfully clear
贵公司不想要我方投资 that you do not want me as an investor, so...
等等 我这么表明过吗 我何时 No, h-hold on. Wait, I-I-I made it clear? When did I...
不是您 我跟贵公司 Oh no, not you personally, but I spoke with somebody
多次洽谈 from your company many times.
有位解瑞吗 Uh, Yarez?
解瑞 Yarez?
解瑞·丹恩 Y-Yarez Dun...
解瑞 Yarez... Oh!
-你是说杰瑞 -对 - Jared. - Yes!
-没差 -发音方法不同 - Whatever... - Potatoes, potatoes.
其实杰瑞不在本公司服务了 Well, uh, Yared doesn't really work with us anymore, so...
-没错 -天啊 - Oh, wow. Well, then. - Yeah.
瞧瞧我俩 Look at you and me.
在谈生意了 We are talking.
你喝过智利酒吗 Have you ever had a Chilean terremoto?
-丹派克 你有空吗 -有 - Denpok, got a minute? - Yes.
我们也许有办法能留在美国 I may have a way to keep us here in the US.
请说 Talk.
你懂海外投委会吗 Are you familiar with CIFIUS?
我懂 Yes.
不懂 No.
美国海外投资委员会 The Committee on Foreign Investment in the US,
简称海外投委会 or CIFIUS,
这个联邦机构的首要宗旨 is a federal agency that has wide latitude
是在有国安威胁时 to prevent American companies
阻止美国企业 From doing business with foreigners,
与外国往来 if there's a national security threat.
你知道交友网站磨爱吗 Are you familiar with the dating app Grindr?
不熟 No.
很熟 Yes.
海外投委会去年禁止磨爱 Last year, CIFIUS reversed the sale
出售给中国投资客 of Grindr to Chinese investors.
他们说美国公民的性病隐私 They ruled that the sexual and HIV status of US citizens
绝对不能流入外资手中 was something they needed to keep out of the hands of foreign interests.
-我懂 -今早 I understand.
我看了散兵坑的用户资料 This morning I was on the user database of Foxhole,
碰巧发现一张熟悉的面孔 when I happened upon a familiar face.
四星上将亨利贝瑞斯 Four-star General Hanley Barris.
这不是他的脸 That is not his face.
的确不是 No, it is not.
但他身为四星上将 But as a four-star general,
能匿名向海外投委会施压 he could anonymously compel CIFIUS
禁止散兵坑和所属公司外移 to prevent Foxhole or its ownershipfrom moving to foreign soil.
不用去白俄罗斯了 No more Belarus?
我看贝瑞斯将军绝不会 I think General Barris would be very keen to keep
让这种情资 this type of material out of the hands of
落入外人手里 我说将军 foreign interests, and by that,
其实指的是夫人叶卡捷琳娜 I mean his wife, Yekatarina.
你昨晚去哪里了 Hey! What happened to you last night?
天啊 你浑身酒气 Oh my God, you reek of booze.
你出去厮混整晚吗 Were you out all night?
莫妮卡 Monica...
-我昨晚人气很旺 -我不想知道 -I got lucky. -Didn't need to know that.
不是 是比风流更幸运的事 No, no, I got even luckier than that.
你可知道智利国树是石松 Tell me, did you know that the national tree of Chile is the piñoner?
你是否又知道 Also this,
-马克西莫雷耶斯是何方神圣 -Do you know who Maximo Reyes is?
-知道 -全智利最有钱的人 -Yeah. -The richest man in Chile. Well.
我在他家客厅里看到了石松树 I saw that very tree in the middle of his living room.
他还让我爬了树 and he let me climb it.
你遇见马克西莫雷耶斯 You met Maximo Reyes
还去了他家吗 and you went to his house?
没错 他让我欣赏艺术作品 Yeah, and he showed me his art collection,
我们还喝了一大堆智利酒 and we drank a number of terremotos,
口味恶心到家 which are... fucking disgusting.
总之 我可能已经成功说服他 Anyway, I may have convinced him
出资来摆脱柯林 to give us enough money to get rid of Colin.
等等 你说什么 Wait, what?
我随口说出五千万元 I casually floated 50 million,
他连眼都不眨 and he didn't even bat an eye.
理查 Richard...
杰瑞拒他于千里之外自有原因 There's a reason Jared tried to ditch this guy.
-我们不能拿他的钱 -We cannot take his money.
为什么不能 Why not?
他说过钱从哪里来了吗 Did he tell you where he gets it from?
你知道他祖父是皮诺契特前总统 How his grandfather was
手下的秘密警察吗 the chief of secret police under Pinochet?
他们又怎么经营矿场 About how they ran their mines?
他们根本是在卖奴隶 They were basically slave traders.
不可能当真那么差劲吧 He can't really be all that bad.
毕竟他这么喜欢魔笛手 I mean, he really, really likes Pied Piper.
血腥钱就是不能拿 Look, we cannot take blood money.
你觉得卖广告就算差劲 You thought selling ads were bad?
这些人可是在足球场处决人民 These guys executed people in soccer stadiums.
我本来觉得没关系 I was open to it at first,
杰瑞则是坚决反对 but Jared was adamant and he's right.
他说的对 五千万听来很棒 Fifty million sounds great, but
但因此放弃原则是远远不够 it's an awfully low price to pay for your integrity.
可恶 Fuck.
我知道柯林是个下流胚子 Look,I know Colin is a sleazebag,
但至少他只是暂时在公司里 but at least he's temporary.
马克西莫比他下流一千倍 Okay, Maximo is a thousand times worse,
而且踢都踢不走 and he would be permanent.
真棒 他寄条款清单来了 Of course. He just e-mailed me the term sheet.
I don't even wanna look at him.
我连看都不想看 Just forward it to me.
-转寄给我吧 我来处理 -谢谢 -I'll take care of it. -Thanks.
我知道很讨厌 I know that this sucks, but I promise you,
但我保证你的选择没 you're doing the right...
五千万元耶 Fifty million?
记得以前 人家开一千万的光景吗 Do you remember when I was offered 10?
理查 Richard.
不止五千万元 It's not $50 million.
比五千万多吗 Is it more?
是十亿 理查 It's a billion, Richard.
十什么 A what?
他开了十亿来买一成股份 He just offered us a billion dollars for 10%.
该死 Fuck.
你已经点一根烟了 You're already holding a cigarette.
吉佛尔先生 Mr. Gilfoyle!
-什么事 -这是你的新团队吗 Yes, ma'am? -Is this your new team?
没错 It is.
五个手下 如你的要求 Five people, as you requested.
-那位先生呢 -他叫做肯 -That man over there? - Ken.
-他不是泡咖啡的人吗 -没错 人家是咖啡师 -Lsn't he the coffee guy? -Barista. Yes.
乔伊之前负责浇花 And Joyce was watering the plants.
莫娜是保全人员 Mona was working security.
丹和乔治之前负责粉刷大厅 Dan and George, they were painting the lobby.
从今以后不是了 Until today.
倒让我想起 Which reminds me, they all need to change
他们都该改一下领英状态 their LinkedIn status to...
改成"中层管理的魁儡" "Placaters of middle management."
老实说 我还是第一次遇到这种情况 I'll be honest, this is sort of a first.
你还以为我不过是 And here you thought I was just...
那种人 "That guy."
吉佛尔先生 你说的没错 You know, Mr. Gilfoyle, you're right.
你不只是那种人 You're not "That guy,"
因为在我曾任职的其他七间公司 because at the seven companies I've helped take public,
那种人最后都会接受自己有弱点 every other "That guy" Accepted their limitations,
好好组织团队 设法达成目标 took on a team, and managed to get their work done.
他们有些早已成为亿万富翁了 Some of them are now billionaires.
没人会在进度落后两周时 None of them would've gotten into a dick-measuring contest with HR
这样跟人资比威武 when they were two weeks behind.
本公司真有福气 So, lucky us,
有你这么特别的员工 I guess you're unique.
吉佛尔 我首次听到 "比威武"一词时 You know, Gilfoyle, when I first heard the phrase
还以为要看看 "Dick-measuring contest," I thought it was a contest
谁能丈量最多老二 to see who could measure the most dicks.
但显然不是这样吧 吉佛尔 But it isn't,is it, Gilfoyle?
他打错了吗 也许打错了 Is it a typo? Maybe it's a typo.
才不是打错 理查 It's not a typo, Richard. It's spelled out in the offer.
他白纸黑字写着"十亿"一次付清 One billion dollars, in one lump sum.
好 那我该怎么办 Okay, what do I do?
-我不知道 -很好 -I don't know. -Oh. Okay, well,
你听杰瑞那套 说这是肮脏钱 Jared had you pretty convinced that this was evil money.
但这可是十亿元 理查 It's a billion fucking dollars, Richard!
好 钱变多就不肮脏吗 Okay, so does that make this less evil or, like,
-还是更肮脏了 -Way more evil?
千万别碰 Do not touch.
这是电子签单 按钮就完了 It's an e-sign. You touch that button, it's over.
快告诉我该怎么做 Tell me what to do.
莫妮卡 这是你的职责 Monica, this is your job!
我妹大一怀孕的时候 Look, when my sister got pregnant her freshman year of college,
我叫她马上堕胎 I said get an abortion.
现在侄女达珂塔跟我很亲 Well, now my niece, Dakota, who is very much with us,
叫我"堕胎阿姨" calls me "Aunt Abortion."
对不起 I'm sorry.
你才是执行长 你自己决定 You are the CEO, this is on you.
我得跟迪内许和吉佛尔谈 Well, I gotta talk to Dinesh and Gilfoyle.
不行 不能跟那些动物说 No, you can't talk to those animals!
你敢跟他们泄露风声 You say a word to anyone out there,and this whole company
全公司五秒钟内立刻上演苍蝇王 turns into Lord of the Flies in five seconds.
理查 这可是十亿元 It's a billion dollars, Richard.
对不起 你自己看着办 I'm sorry. You're on your own.
莫妮卡 Monica...
理查 紧急状况 Richard, there is a major emergency.
吉佛尔雇了咖啡师当工程师 Gilfoyle is using the barista as one of the coders,
所以我只好自己试着用咖啡机 so I tried to use the cappuccino machine on my own,
我不知道奶泡机是不是卡住了 and I don't know if, like, the frother knob is, like,jammed or something,
现在完全不管用 but it's, like, not working.
因此所有人 So, there is no froth,
通通没有 奶泡 at all, for anybody.
你能处理吗 So, can you get on that?
-好 -太好了 他会处理 -Yeah. -Okay, great.
-He's on it! -
真是挤得要命 It's really a shit sandwich.
他们谈了好一阵子 They've been in there for a while.
不晓得结果如何 Wonder how it's going. - -
贝瑞斯将军 搞定了吗 General Barris. Is it done?
-太好了 -替我向夫人问好 -Wonderful. -Say hello to your wife for me.
盖文 会议还好吗 Gavin! How was the meeting?
可恶 Aah! Fuck!
理查 Richard?
你在这里做什么 What are you doing here?
你有空聊聊吗 Do you have a second?
有啊 请进 Yeah, yeah. Come on in.
我知道你帮我挡掉马克西莫 I know you tried to keep Maximo away from me,
但是经过一些事情后 他开了这个价格 but one thing lead to another and-and now this.
-还真大方 -是啊 -That is quite an offer. -Yeah.
所以 我该怎么办 So, what do I do?
理查 我知道莫妮卡无能为力 Look, Richard, I know you said Monica's checked out on this,
但这可是魔笛手的重大决策 but... this is kind of a monumental Pied Piper matter.
你应该咨询公司内部的人员 I think you should get advice from somebody within the company.
所以我才来找你 杰瑞 That's why I'm here, Jared.
非你莫属 That's you.
你一定得回来 You gotta come back.
-理查 -我知道 -Richard... -I-I know
你的工作性质慢慢变了 your job changed over time,
但是我们可以修改 but we can undo that.
重新定位你的职务 You know, restructure your role,
把你的办公室搬来楼上 靠近我一些 move you upstairs so you're closer to me.
只要你肯回来就行 Whatever it takes to make it work.
考虑一下吧 Come on, think about it. We'll be...
就像以前一样当好兄弟 a pair of boys, back in business.
理查 太迟了 Richard, it's too late. I mean,
你已经放我走了 you know, you let me go, so I took the job here
-所以我现在替葛华效力 -那又如何 -With Gwart, and... -So?
进去跟葛华说你要辞职就好 Go inside and tell Gwart you're leaving.
但这样太不忠诚了 Well, that's not how loyalty works.
很不公平 I mean, that wouldn't be fair.
公平 Fair?
好几年前 你来这屋里 Years ago, you came to this house,
求我给你工作 我也雇用了你 begging me for a job, and I gave you one.
我甚至让你当上营运长 In fact, I made you COO. And now,
如今在我最需要你的时候 你居然在背后捅我一刀 when I need you the most, you stab me in the back,
还有种训我不忠诚 and you have the balls to lecture me about loyalty?
你在跟我开玩笑吗 Are you fucking kidding me?
我说的没错 I was right.
你就是叛徒 You are a buddy-fucker.
-拜托你别再说这种话 -叛徒 -Please stop saying that. -Buddy-fucker.
别说了 Stop saying that.
请你快离开这里 And-and-and please just leave this house,
-否则我无法替自己的行为负责 -Or I can't be held responsible for my behavior.
是吗 Oh yeah?
你还能怎样 杰瑞 What are you gonna do, Jared? Huh?
继续背叛我吗 You gonna buddy-fuck me? 'Cause that's what you do
-因为你最会背叛伙伴了吧 -出去 -To your buddies now, isn't it? -Get out.
葛华 这样不行 你晒太多了 Oh, Gwart. No, no, no! That's too much sun.
天啊 Oh my God.
她就是葛华 This is Gwart?
理查 Richard...
-你抛下我就为了这个 -理查 不准你 -This is who you're walking away for? -Richard, do not.
她是你的工程师女友吗 She's your new little code girlfriend?
-不要 -这是 -Don't. -This, uh...
-住嘴 不要 -四眼田鸡 -Don't. -This googly-eyed...
-不要 - 喝巧克力的怪人 -No, no, no, no... -Yoo-hoo drinking...
-不 -老天爷 -No! -Oh my God.
好啦 对不起 Oh, okay, okay, okay, look, I'm sorry!
-我不接受 -好吧 -No. -All right.
看我怎么打掉你的烂牙 你这王八蛋 I oughta knock your teeth, you bitch-made motherfucker.
我 我不是故意的 -I-I-I... I didn't mean it.
我从小环境险恶 I was state-raised!
我还怕你这满嘴烂话的浑球吗 You think I'm scared to catch a case of some bullshit
对不起 杰瑞 我不是故意的 I-I'm sorry, Jared!
葛华 我不是故意的 I didn't mean it, okay? I'm sorry, Gwart.
-我不是那个意思 -I didn't mean it!
不许你用那脏嘴叫她的名字 You keep her name out of your skanky little mouth,
你这下流胚子 you little, little bitch!
这里是办公的地方 Hey! Hey! Hey! This is a place of business...
天啊 别射我 Oh my God. Don't shoot me!
杰瑞 Jared!
-杰瑞 -子弹上膛 来吃一颗啊 浑球 -Jared! Aah! -Dope-led, peckerwood motherfucker!
-杰瑞 -给我出来 浑帐 Jared! Jared, no! -Get checked in, hoe!
天啊 Oh, Jesus!
想跟我斗吗 浑球 You wanna dance on the blacktop, homie?!
你自找的 理查 You did this, Richard!
搞什么啊 Ow, what the fuck?
吉佛尔 你要我下班前过来吗 Mr. Gilfoyle! You wanted to see me before I left?
没错 崔西 我想找你 Yes, Tracy, I did.
我想要你见证 我把延宕的工作都解决了 I wanted you to be here when I push my entire backlog of code.
你都做完了 只花了廿四小时 You finished all of it? In just 24 hours?
没错 就我一人 I did, all by myself.
你现在可以道歉了 I'll take that apology now.
吉佛尔先生 你说我得选一个 Mr. Gilfoyle, you said that I had to choose.
速度和准确度只能择一 You said I could have it fast or I could have it right,
但你刚才给了我速度和准确度 but I just got it fast and right,
只要作势派手下给你 and all I had to do was threaten your manhood
威胁你的男子气概就行了 by assigning you other coders.
这作法在别的公司有效 It worked at seven other companies,
在这里当然也有用 and it obviously worked here.
我们都赶上进度了 We're back on schedule!
我为何需要道歉呢 Now, why would I be sorry about that.
你的技巧值得尊敬 I respect your skills.
谢谢 Thank you.
明早见了 See you in the morning.
我们在一起喝威士忌呢 And now, we are both holding a whiskey
没错 Yes.
马克西莫 抱歉 Um, Maximo, I wanna apologize
临时来访 for coming over here unannounced.
我很想接受你的提议 And I wanna do this deal with you,
但是 天啊 but... Jesus...
理查 你在顾虑我的家庭背景 Richard, you have some concerns because of my family.
是这样没错 I mean... yeah.
理查 你看到这些照片了吗 Richard, do you see these photographs?
这些人当中有很多都是孩子 Now, these people, a lot of them children,
替家父和我们的矿场工作 used to work for my father in my family's mines.
我挂这些照片是要是提醒自己 Now, I keep them here as a reminder
家父曾犯的诸多过错 of the many, many mistakes my father made.
我想矫正那些过错 I want to fix those mistakes, Richard.
我投资你的公司 By investing in you and your company,
就是矫正的第一步 I'll be able to start doing that.
你当真相信吗 Do you really believe that?
理查 我们要改变世界 Richard, we are going to change the world, you and I.
天啊 那是什么 Shit! What was that?
小鸟 它们都想往石松飞 Ah, the birds. You know, they're attracted to the tree,
不小心就会撞上 so sometimes, you know, kapffft!
还能怎么办呢 What are you gonna do?
-敬矫正家父的过错 -那当然 -To rectifying the mistakes of my father. -Sure. Yeah.
蠢材才会准员工成立工会 The fool who allowed the workers to unionize
争取薪资 and ask for higher wages
及高额健保 and more expensive hospitals.
-我们 -等等 你说什么 -We... -Uh, sorry. What was that?
我的祖父赚进大笔财富 Yes. My grandfather, he built a great fortune,
但几乎全被我愚蠢的老爸赔光了 but then my idiot father almost gave it all away.
现在不会了 绝对不会 But not now, though. Oh no.
我挖的矿有铜有钴 有钻石 Now, I mine copper, cobalt and diamonds,
现在多亏有你 and now, thanks to you,
也能探勘资料 谢谢（西语） data. Gracias.
不对 Uh, no. No, what?
我们公司才不会 No, we do not...
天啊 Oh my God!
No, we...
我们不会探勘使用者个资 We will not mine user data.
我说得十分清楚了 I was very clear about that.
但你确实探勘了 But you do.
理查 Richard, did you not tell me
我们在树上培养感情时 when we were sitting on my tree, bonding,
你不是说现在就有人在网路里 that there is a man in your network right now,
用你的技术搜集个资吗 using a tool, that you built, in order to mine user data?
不是 这件事要结束了 不会继续发生了 No. That is coming to an end. That doesn't happen anymore.
拜托 理查 Richard, please. Cheers.
这杯就祝未来合作愉快 To our future endeavors together.
马克西莫 Maximo...
我们绝对不会搜集 或是利用个资赚取利润 we will never collect and monetize user data.
绝不 Ever.
那我干吗给你十亿元呢 理查 Then why would I give you one billion dollars, Richard?
看好了 我才不像老爸那么蠢 Look at me. I am not a fool like my father.
你这么做是想跟我比威武吧 You are turning this into a dick-measuring contest.
劝你停手 因为我跟你保证 Please don't, because I assure you,
再怎么比 绝对是我最威武 it will be I who measures the most.
抱歉 你在威胁我吗 Are-are you threatening me?
收下我的钱吧 理查 Take my money, Richard.
这笔钱对你我都好 It'll be very good for you,and very good for me.
但理查 你若不收这钱 But if you do not take my money, Richard...
绝对凄惨无比 oh, it will be very bad for you.
* You know I talk to my baby*
* Like a mother talk to her kid*
* You know I love that woman*
* But I just can't keep it hid *
* She got the devil in her *
* Yes*
*That woman got the devil in her... *
Richard, it's Maximo.
We are on the phone.
Let me tell you what is going to happen to you next.
All I wanted to do was be a golden millionaire.
A millionaire that gets peed on?
I could see you making half that happen.
Can I be honest with you for once?
For once? You're my attorney.
You're out of options.
Holy shit. We could buy Hooli.
Take your marks.
I still got it, Hoover.