0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:15,411 Please, welcome onto the stage The Mighty Boosh! 2 00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:55,081 Haha, she overshot the runway. 3 00:01:58,111 --> 00:02:01,251 Heeey Brixton, you cheeky bitch! 4 00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:06,621 Howyerdoin' in the top shelf? 5 00:02:11,201 --> 00:02:16,371 -Top shelf, aaa top shelf. -Eeee top shelf. 6 00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:18,741 Very nicey shelfy. 7 00:02:18,761 --> 00:02:22,001 Howyerdoin' in the lower shelf? 8 00:02:31,411 --> 00:02:33,041 What about just you? 9 00:02:35,951 --> 00:02:36,991 What a dick:) 10 00:02:40,331 --> 00:02:43,001 -Everyone in? -Everyone okay? 11 00:02:43,791 --> 00:02:46,411 Yeah? Yeah, you all in? You all settled in? 12 00:02:46,411 --> 00:02:48,791 -Are you all right? -Are you okay, yeah? 13 00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:54,371 Sure? Do you need anything? I mean I could russle you up a quiche or... 14 00:02:55,831 --> 00:03:00,051 -I get on that. -They're good, his quiches are good, he puts LEGO in'em! 15 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:07,161 Okay everyone's in, let's do it. 16 00:03:07,451 --> 00:03:12,871 Ooh you guys! Where have you been? We've all been waiting for'ya! 17 00:03:16,451 --> 00:03:19,451 -Okay.. -She hid under her fringe, get away from me. 18 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,251 -Are you ready? -Yeah, I´m ready. 19 00:03:23,581 --> 00:03:25,331 -Okay, let's do it. -Check me out. 20 00:03:31,491 --> 00:03:35,331 Howard Moon! Jazz maverick... 21 00:03:38,371 --> 00:03:40,501 ..novelist.. 22 00:03:42,751 --> 00:03:44,871 ..cyclist.. 23 00:03:48,701 --> 00:03:52,041 ..rider of the penny-farthing.. 24 00:03:56,201 --> 00:03:58,871 ..stamp collector! 25 00:04:02,581 --> 00:04:04,831 Age: Sixty-one.. 26 00:04:05,791 --> 00:04:07,411 ..fifty..seven?:) 27 00:04:07,791 --> 00:04:15,161 Special features: The tiny eyes of a shrew! Howard Moon! 28 00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:20,251 Yeah, check him out. 29 00:04:30,511 --> 00:04:31,911 What are you doing? 30 00:04:32,001 --> 00:04:33,521 Eating the applause. 31 00:04:34,001 --> 00:04:38,251 -Who does that? -Me. Nice'n crunchy. 32 00:04:38,751 --> 00:04:42,701 -Was it? Was it crunchy? -Yeah... Get in the light. 33 00:04:50,411 --> 00:04:51,581 Thanx:) 34 00:04:54,411 --> 00:04:56,831 Vince Noir! 35 00:05:01,581 --> 00:05:04,291 Electro poof! 36 00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:20,121 What are you doing?! Never eat another man's applause. 37 00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:24,451 -Oh..that was very rich. -Yeah. 38 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:30,201 -Like a fruit cake. I feel all bilious. -Too rich for you. 39 00:05:31,911 --> 00:05:35,451 Look at the Spirit of jazz shuffling through there. 40 00:05:41,121 --> 00:05:44,921 Hey baby, you're goin' to the bathroom yeah? 41 00:05:45,201 --> 00:05:47,751 Look how slow he walks out. 42 00:05:47,821 --> 00:05:49,261 Doesn't give a fuck. 43 00:05:49,351 --> 00:05:52,841 I'm outta here - in my own good time. 44 00:05:53,951 --> 00:05:57,081 I ain't movin' fast for no shit. 45 00:05:58,001 --> 00:06:02,041 You might be filming a DVD, I'm takin' my time. 46 00:06:03,701 --> 00:06:05,731 You're on it now, mate. 47 00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:08,511 No he's not. I'm cutting that bit out. 48 00:06:09,211 --> 00:06:10,621 Slow walking fool. 49 00:06:11,721 --> 00:06:14,581 We've got a crazy show coming up for you tonight! 50 00:06:14,831 --> 00:06:16,291 -We've got stuff for you.. -Craaazy show! 51 00:06:16,411 --> 00:06:17,501 -Don't touch me. -What? 52 00:06:17,581 --> 00:06:19,831 -Don't touch me! -He's such a joker! 53 00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:24,751 -Yeah.. I'm not joking. -What? -Never touch me, okay? 54 00:06:24,871 --> 00:06:30,051 Not when we're on stage, not when we're off stage, back stage, not when we're out buying hammocks.. 55 00:06:30,581 --> 00:06:33,491 -Never touch me sir. -We DO do that a lot. 56 00:06:36,951 --> 00:06:38,951 -Never touch me! -Okay. 57 00:06:40,581 --> 00:06:45,501 Hey, look seriously - I'm gonna get the fan mail. We've got a bit of fan mail, we should check it out. 58 00:06:45,591 --> 00:06:48,141 -So you'll keep things ticking over here.. -Yeah, you know, I'll work the room. 59 00:06:48,161 --> 00:06:51,301 -Alright yeah, you'll work it up. -Yeeah. 60 00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:56,701 Barratt's gonna work the room, I'm gonna go off like this. 61 00:07:12,511 --> 00:07:14,961 Heey where are you from? 62 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:20,001 So.. yeah. Alright! Coming at you like a beam, like a ray, like a laser, 63 00:07:20,011 --> 00:07:23,861 like a beam of light in the night, I'm like lightning. Coming at you like a kestrel, ow! 64 00:07:28,201 --> 00:07:31,701 Howyerdoin' everyone? Hello there small child... Hello. 65 00:07:32,951 --> 00:07:36,581 You might wanna cover his ears for some of the show..? 66 00:07:36,701 --> 00:07:39,371 Not doing anything rude, it's just his ears are a bit weird... 67 00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:45,031 If you could just cover them, putting them off slightly. 68 00:07:45,511 --> 00:07:49,581 -Heey where are you from? -Just round there, between those two bits of fabric. 69 00:07:51,091 --> 00:07:54,421 Are you insulting the nippers again? 70 00:07:55,411 --> 00:08:02,531 Hey look at this, look! Fan mail! Check this out. This one's for me and er, this one's for you. 71 00:08:03,411 --> 00:08:07,661 Aaaa I'm jokin'. This one's for me as well. 72 00:08:12,731 --> 00:08:15,291 Let's have a little look, see what the fans are saying. 73 00:08:15,911 --> 00:08:25,251 Dear Vince, I think you are soo amazing and brilliant! And your hair is so big and tall and nice and I really like you! 74 00:08:26,121 --> 00:08:31,551 The only thing is, is why do you have to have your dad in the show? 75 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:45,751 There's another one here. Let's have a look at this one. 76 00:09:02,711 --> 00:09:07,501 It's just screaming, that one. Quite abstract... 77 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:16,251 Yeah, well you know.. I get fan mail, alright? Yeah! It's not the quantity of the fan mail, it's the quality of the fan! 78 00:09:17,371 --> 00:09:19,751 -That's what I say. -It is what he says. It is! 79 00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:25,791 This came to me - this piece of fan mail - came to me this, only this very morn' and ... 80 00:09:26,861 --> 00:09:29,541 I'm bringing morn' back as a figure of speech. 81 00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:32,621 -This came to me this fair morn'. -Oooh this fair morn'. 82 00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:35,751 -This fair morn' has arrived. -Good luck with that. 83 00:09:36,251 --> 00:09:38,331 Check it out. 84 00:09:39,201 --> 00:09:43,411 Dear Howard, if you ever come to me again, I will call the police... 85 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:48,201 Haha, that's the wrong one - I've got the wrong.. I've got them mixed-up... 86 00:09:48,581 --> 00:09:53,911 I got it in wrong pockets... ...I mixed it up. 87 00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:59,701 This is the one I meant to read out. This is from none other than Tom Paulin. 88 00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:03,451 -Ladys and gentlemen. -Who? -Tom Paulin. 89 00:10:03,571 --> 00:10:05,351 -Yes, she knows. -There he is. 90 00:10:06,331 --> 00:10:09,701 This is, you know, he's intellectual - man of letters all around... 91 00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:13,591 -Man made of letters? -Yeah, this is from him. 92 00:10:13,801 --> 00:10:16,681 -Really? That Irish guy on the late? -Yeah check it out. 93 00:10:17,401 --> 00:10:22,881 Dear Howard Moon, I just wanted to drop you a line, since I thought your 94 00:10:22,991 --> 00:10:28,681 performance in The Mighty Boosh was mesmerizing. Mere sincerely Tom Paulin. 95 00:10:28,781 --> 00:10:29,921 Tom Paulin! 96 00:10:33,971 --> 00:10:37,741 -Yeah, that came to me. To ME! -Yeah, that's good. What's this little bit here he's put? 97 00:10:38,311 --> 00:10:39,971 -Don't read that bit! -What is it? -Don't read it! 98 00:10:40,381 --> 00:10:44,871 Yes and could I possibly have a signed photograph of your cock and balls? 99 00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:52,801 Ooh Tom's a bit weird, isn't he? 100 00:10:55,081 --> 00:10:56,691 Creepy Tom... 101 00:10:57,811 --> 00:11:00,581 -Creepy Tom. -Creepy creepy Tom Tom. 102 00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:04,371 Anyway how have you been since the telly show? You've been alright? 103 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,381 -I've been real good sir, real good. -Yeah? 104 00:11:06,461 --> 00:11:09,711 -Telly show? Are you ten? -Mentally, yeah. 105 00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:16,681 I've been good yeah, very busy - working on my theatre skills - training myself up for the, you know, this run. 106 00:11:17,031 --> 00:11:22,941 Working on the ancient art of mime. You know, so... check me out. 107 00:11:24,631 --> 00:11:30,941 Ow! Comin'at'ya'... yeah? I'm in a chimney. 108 00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:39,071 See that? What about this? Look! I'm next to a log... Chaffinch. 109 00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:45,701 -Do chaffinch again! -I only do that once. 110 00:11:46,611 --> 00:11:50,981 Yeah, I've been busy - you know - working myself up on the theatre department, you know what I mean? 111 00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:54,631 -Building up my theatre muscles... -So you've been busy? That's what you're sayin'? 112 00:11:54,711 --> 00:11:59,031 Weird that you should say that, 'cos I was walking through Camden the other day and 113 00:11:59,081 --> 00:12:02,381 I saw you in a skip, weeping... 114 00:12:08,471 --> 00:12:13,381 -That was an art piece, that I was... -Was it? - Yeah... 115 00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:18,901 Yeah but you had like a shirt and tie on, but no pants or trousers on. 116 00:12:20,121 --> 00:12:22,041 Yeah? Too much for you, was it? 117 00:12:23,301 --> 00:12:25,521 -That's what I do, you know, I'm a maverick. -It was too much. 118 00:12:26,061 --> 00:12:29,761 It was quite early in the morning. I was trying to eat a baguette. 119 00:12:32,921 --> 00:12:34,611 -That's what I do. -It was a shock. 120 00:12:34,831 --> 00:12:39,441 I take my work into the streets, you know? I don't just do stuff in theatres, this is like oldschool for me, you know? 121 00:12:39,761 --> 00:12:44,131 I'll go into the streets in my world - you can't put me in a box. If you put me in a box I'll break out of the box, you know? 122 00:12:44,211 --> 00:12:49,961 If you put a boundary around me, I'll eat the boundary and wash it down with a cup of hot steaming rules. 123 00:12:50,931 --> 00:12:53,121 Ow! comin'at'ya' like a beam, like a ray, like a buzzard! 124 00:12:54,571 --> 00:12:59,131 Swooping about, know what I mean? Peckin' at the boundaries. That's the way I work! 125 00:12:59,193 --> 00:13:01,409 That sounds electric. 126 00:13:01,461 --> 00:13:05,331 -Yeah? What have you been up to then? -Well, pretty much, right after the telly show 127 00:13:05,401 --> 00:13:08,491 I've invented this game - Brixton check this out, alright? 128 00:13:08,651 --> 00:13:12,021 I've invented a game called: Pelt The Rabbit In His Big White Face! 129 00:13:12,131 --> 00:13:18,051 Genius! I know, the title alone is pretty cool, but wait - til you hear what happens - you're in here, right, 130 00:13:18,111 --> 00:13:25,501 or wherever, by the windmill doesn't matter and this massive rabbit comes in, he's got really massive face, he's a freak, 131 00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:29,341 he's like that - and he's quite tall he's like six foot - and he comes running towards you 132 00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,851 and you've gotta like leg it and get away from him or like pelt him with coins 133 00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:36,171 or sunflower seeds or take your Chelsey boot off and just take him out. 134 00:13:36,341 --> 00:13:42,531 Cos if he catches you he just throws you on the floor and rapes you. 135 00:13:50,451 --> 00:13:52,671 That's not a game, is it? Really that... 136 00:13:54,091 --> 00:14:00,221 That's just a sequence of events. A sequence of horrific events. 137 00:14:00,671 --> 00:14:03,281 Culminating in a rape. 138 00:14:04,621 --> 00:14:08,151 -Where's the game elements? -Yeah, but it's not an ordinary rape! It's a rabbit rape! 139 00:14:09,261 --> 00:14:11,301 It's a terrific bunny-bumming! 140 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:18,211 -From MB Games? What? There's no strategy! -Of course there's a strategy! 141 00:14:18,281 --> 00:14:19,621 Why? What is it? 142 00:14:19,711 --> 00:14:25,141 Well, you know, the thing with it is you never know when he's gonna come, do you? When he's gonna arrive, easy! 143 00:14:25,441 --> 00:14:29,281 He might come in an hour, he might come in two hours, he might come in month, he might come in a year, 144 00:14:29,291 --> 00:14:33,831 he might come in fourteen minutes! What if he's ill? He's got a brother looks exactly like him! 145 00:14:35,361 --> 00:14:40,361 He's the worse of the two if anything - he's more powerful and vigorous. 146 00:14:40,871 --> 00:14:44,901 You'll never get away from him. If it's his brother, you might as well just sit down.. 147 00:14:47,161 --> 00:14:49,281 ..put up the white flag. 148 00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:55,171 This isn't the show by the way:) This is just, you know little bit of idle banter up top. 149 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,611 -The show's all back here, waiting to come out. -Oh yeah I can feel it.. 150 00:14:58,691 --> 00:15:04,651 There's a tiny bit of the show. I can feel it! Look at the show - it's lively tonight! 151 00:15:06,671 --> 00:15:09,491 Let's have a little glimpse of the show! 152 00:15:16,961 --> 00:15:21,381 -Did I dream that? -Let's see if it was real. 153 00:15:28,201 --> 00:15:33,551 -Yeah, we've got some stuff lined up for you. -It's different every night that bit. 154 00:15:33,611 --> 00:15:38,861 Yes I thought what we should do really before unleashing that is warm up a little bit. 155 00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:41,551 So you know, get ourselves into the theatre mode. 156 00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:45,161 -I've written a small piece of theatre.. -Yeah? 157 00:15:45,201 --> 00:15:47,781 -..which we could do right here, right now so.. -A small piece? 158 00:15:47,841 --> 00:15:49,101 -A pouch. -A pouch. 159 00:15:49,781 --> 00:15:51,941 -A pouch of theatre? -Yeah, powerful pouch. 160 00:15:52,311 --> 00:15:56,401 -And they do call you the theater wallaby? -Yes, they do. 161 00:15:58,161 --> 00:15:59,831 That's how I type. 162 00:16:01,281 --> 00:16:04,051 This is something I've created and I'd like to do it now - we're all gonna get warmed up 163 00:16:04,111 --> 00:16:05,831 -..you know if we didn't warm up.. -No way! 164 00:16:05,991 --> 00:16:09,121 You know, you could strain a theatre muscle or something so.. you know... 165 00:16:09,461 --> 00:16:13,211 You might fracture your eyes, sir. We don't want that. 166 00:16:13,611 --> 00:16:15,311 -So.. -What shall I do then? -Well you can be in it. 167 00:16:15,511 --> 00:16:17,811 -No way! -Yeah! -Really? 168 00:16:17,991 --> 00:16:19,431 -Can you act? -Can I act? 169 00:16:20,221 --> 00:16:24,471 Not really, no... That was me acting then, aaa. 170 00:16:25,541 --> 00:16:26,641 The Twisterroonie.. 171 00:16:26,651 --> 00:16:28,421 -No, still no! -Come on! 172 00:16:28,511 --> 00:16:33,061 -No, not even through your nice new Kiss jacket. Never touch me. 173 00:16:33,661 --> 00:16:35,781 -What shall I do then? -Get ready I'll introduce it. 174 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:41,331 Yeah? Alright, cool, I'm going off like this - ooh monkey hands... 175 00:16:43,101 --> 00:16:45,081 ..and frozen legs. 176 00:16:46,221 --> 00:16:52,291 Monkey hands and frozen legs - the ultimate combination. 177 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:05,701 Okay. Right, well this is little piece now, that I've written myself with a pen. 178 00:17:05,681 --> 00:17:13,721 And... it's set in Russia, turn of the century... I know what are you thinking. 179 00:17:14,271 --> 00:17:19,281 Don't think that, because.. this is dark penetrating theatre. 180 00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:23,941 Please enjoy a piece I've written, called simply: ''Pies''. 181 00:17:31,891 --> 00:17:34,201 This is fucking ridiculous! 182 00:17:35,671 --> 00:17:38,311 You're out of your mind! 183 00:17:59,001 --> 00:18:02,381 Would you like a pie? 184 00:18:07,201 --> 00:18:09,991 No... 185 00:18:13,441 --> 00:18:16,841 But it is a good pie. 186 00:18:20,221 --> 00:18:26,631 Nevertheless. Last time you gave me pie... 187 00:18:27,331 --> 00:18:31,781 ..I cut into it with my tiny pie cutter... 188 00:18:32,661 --> 00:18:38,491 ..and millions of birds flew out - hitting me in the eyes and the temples! 189 00:18:39,381 --> 00:18:45,021 I was confused - it was a trick pie! 190 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:57,851 Why you no like my pie? 191 00:19:02,951 --> 00:19:05,241 I just told you. 192 00:19:07,211 --> 00:19:10,861 Eeee you don't like my pie-eee... 193 00:19:11,601 --> 00:19:13,221 Oooh tricky pie... 194 00:19:13,691 --> 00:19:18,401 Aiiiiii bring pie to show you I love you! 195 00:19:19,031 --> 00:19:22,321 Why can't you just tell me you love me? 196 00:19:24,041 --> 00:19:28,601 Pastry goods every fucking day with you! 197 00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:33,481 -You don't like pie? -Ooohhhhh pie... 198 00:19:33,811 --> 00:19:38,531 - Whyyoudon't liiiike.. -Idon'twantpie.. 199 00:19:39,981 --> 00:19:45,391 Arghghghghghg I don't want pie.. 200 00:19:45,791 --> 00:19:50,041 -Wantpie wantpie.. -Urghghghgh..! 201 00:19:50,391 --> 00:19:52,141 Thanks a lot! 202 00:20:05,641 --> 00:20:10,301 -Penetrating theatre... Thank you! -I like this hat. It's quite cool. 203 00:20:10,561 --> 00:20:13,191 -It's good. -In the kind of Pete Doherty way. 204 00:20:13,701 --> 00:20:16,521 Ooh I can't find my band! 205 00:20:18,231 --> 00:20:21,061 Mate, your're the frontman - they're behind'ya. 206 00:20:21,161 --> 00:20:23,651 Oh yeah, cheers! 207 00:20:32,111 --> 00:20:34,691 -What's that? -He plays Give us a clue. 208 00:20:36,091 --> 00:20:40,311 -Oh yeah, he's quite good at that isn't he. -He's really good at it, actually. 209 00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:42,691 Yeah, he's a dab hand. 210 00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:47,651 So.. right, well it's time to move on now, to phase two point nine of the evening. 211 00:20:47,961 --> 00:20:53,101 Which is my favourite. It's the part where we introduce you to the guests - to people you're gonna be meeting in the show. 212 00:20:53,291 --> 00:20:57,241 -We've got some great people. -Oh who have we got? We've got Daley Thompson. 213 00:20:57,621 --> 00:21:01,971 He's gonna come down, he's gonna saw a calculator in half.. 214 00:21:03,361 --> 00:21:05,731 ..to see where the numbers live! 215 00:21:09,321 --> 00:21:16,641 Oh yeah.. And he's gonna shave his moustache off.. ..to reveal a tattoo of a moustache. 216 00:21:17,131 --> 00:21:19,221 -So he's quite.. -Daley. -Daley. 217 00:21:19,461 --> 00:21:24,881 So before that - we didn't wanna peak too soon - we're gonna have a guest now a great guy.. 218 00:21:25,431 --> 00:21:31,011 a man who.. a great friend of mine, a great friend of yours, erm, not a friend of yours.. 219 00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:34,171 ..sadly - he hates you. But.. 220 00:21:34,541 --> 00:21:39,201 Dunno why you chose to sit so close to the front really, cos.. you know what I mean? 221 00:21:39,491 --> 00:21:43,451 It's a bit weird considering everything that has happend between you and the hatred.. 222 00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:45,941 ..that has being brewing. 223 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:50,271 But that aside, please welcome to the stage - Naboo the enigma! 224 00:22:10,991 --> 00:22:13,521 Look at him, he's like a puma in a turban. 225 00:22:14,421 --> 00:22:17,411 Look at that - what's going on that mind? Nobody knows? 226 00:22:17,951 --> 00:22:21,641 He could be wrestling with the dilemmas of time itself, solving the riddles of the universe.. 227 00:22:22,011 --> 00:22:24,381 Deep stuff. Let's have a listen. 228 00:22:27,191 --> 00:22:31,921 I might have a pot noodle later. Chicken and mushroom. 229 00:22:33,371 --> 00:22:35,021 Naboo the enigma! 230 00:22:36,151 --> 00:22:37,091 Powerful stuff. 231 00:22:47,771 --> 00:22:49,661 What are YOU doing here? 232 00:22:51,831 --> 00:22:56,301 I warned you, gonna have to turn my back on you! 233 00:23:05,571 --> 00:23:08,001 Let that be a lesson to you! 234 00:23:11,651 --> 00:23:13,211 Naboo the enigma! 235 00:23:13,221 --> 00:23:14,891 Are you ready for your next guest? 236 00:23:15,891 --> 00:23:19,571 Go mad, scream, make him feel welcome: Bollo! 237 00:23:25,701 --> 00:23:30,401 Hey Vincey, good to see you. Good to see you! 238 00:23:31,871 --> 00:23:34,051 Heey long time no see! 239 00:23:36,491 --> 00:23:38,121 Hellooo! 240 00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:40,771 Top shelf! 241 00:23:45,181 --> 00:23:48,721 I like the bottom shelf too, don't worry. 242 00:23:52,891 --> 00:23:56,791 Look at your hair, looks wicked! What you got in there? A bit of Rootbooster? 243 00:23:56,821 --> 00:23:58,771 Yeah, I made a bit of an effort tonight, you know? 244 00:23:59,091 --> 00:24:01,321 Bit of gel, bit of mousse, product, huh? 245 00:24:01,651 --> 00:24:02,891 Nice, that's looking good. 246 00:24:02,901 --> 00:24:05,541 Looks lovely, it's quite modish - the way that it's... 247 00:24:12,831 --> 00:24:15,861 Jesus.. So how have you been anyway Bollo? You've been good? 248 00:24:16,061 --> 00:24:19,121 -You've been busy? -Yeah, I've been good, I've been busy since the TV show. 249 00:24:19,511 --> 00:24:23,821 Yeah, very busy - I had audititon for Peter Jackson. 250 00:24:24,071 --> 00:24:26,651 -No way! Peter Jackson? -Yeah! 251 00:24:27,451 --> 00:24:29,491 Yeah? What's he doin' these days? 252 00:24:29,851 --> 00:24:32,261 He's thinking of remaking King Kong. 253 00:24:36,811 --> 00:24:39,741 -He's thinking of remaking it, is he? -Yeah. 254 00:24:40,181 --> 00:24:42,421 Yeah, when did you do the audition? 255 00:24:42,871 --> 00:24:46,361 Well it is quite a while ago, you know, but these things they take time. 256 00:24:46,501 --> 00:24:49,521 Yeah.. You get out of the house much these days Bollo? Or you... 257 00:24:49,771 --> 00:24:54,201 No, not really - I kind of sit at home, learning my lines, waiting for Peter to call me, you know? 258 00:24:55,311 --> 00:24:58,461 -Right, you know that it's already... -Yeah, don't tell him, don't tell him! 259 00:24:58,581 --> 00:25:01,221 -What? Huh? -Heey where are you from? 260 00:25:03,071 --> 00:25:06,011 -I think he liked me. -Yeah. I bet he loved you! 261 00:25:06,041 --> 00:25:08,031 I just think he hasn't make his mind up yet, you know? 262 00:25:08,101 --> 00:25:10,631 -That'd be it, yeah. -That he's taking his time. 263 00:25:10,691 --> 00:25:12,511 -But I think he's keeping an eye on me. -Oh yeah. 264 00:25:12,711 --> 00:25:16,951 And I'm not overly sure, but I think Peter might be in tonight. 265 00:25:17,431 --> 00:25:19,391 -Really? -Sitting up to back, yeah. 266 00:25:20,221 --> 00:25:23,631 I'm pretty sure I saw him in the bar earlier eating a flapjack. 267 00:25:24,721 --> 00:25:27,021 He does like flapjacks. 268 00:25:28,021 --> 00:25:32,371 Do you mind if I... do a bit of funny business for Peter? 269 00:25:36,401 --> 00:25:38,321 Funny business? 270 00:25:38,251 --> 00:25:42,531 Well, you know, the audition it was quite serious, I'd like to show Peter Bollo's funny side. 271 00:25:42,651 --> 00:25:44,411 Maybe do a bit of stand-up? 272 00:25:44,421 --> 00:25:45,421 -Yeah. -Okay. -Is that okay? 273 00:25:45,421 --> 00:25:46,621 -Yeah. -I'll get a mic. 274 00:25:47,441 --> 00:25:51,531 -Okay I'll go over there, you can introduce me. -Yeah, I'll bring you on, make it all professional, yeah? 275 00:25:52,021 --> 00:25:54,801 Okay, cool. It's quite exciting. 276 00:26:03,051 --> 00:26:06,151 Does Naboo know you are here? 277 00:26:12,741 --> 00:26:14,551 He's been dealt with. 278 00:26:14,631 --> 00:26:18,051 Look at all these seats, he had to sit right there at the front. 279 00:26:18,791 --> 00:26:20,031 What a dick. 280 00:26:22,441 --> 00:26:25,411 Okay.. So, Bollo have you ever done stand-up before? 281 00:26:26,731 --> 00:26:27,771 No. 282 00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:30,391 Are you feeling confident? 283 00:26:31,801 --> 00:26:32,721 No. 284 00:26:34,061 --> 00:26:39,861 Okay, ladies and gentlemen you're in for a treat tonight, mate he's got some tight one liners, he's a little bit saucy in places, 285 00:26:39,901 --> 00:26:45,031 don't let that put you off. Here he is - Bollo the stand-up! 286 00:27:15,881 --> 00:27:21,691 I was.. I was in the supermarket the other day and I had a shopping trolley... 287 00:27:22,931 --> 00:27:28,211 And I was pushing it along and it had a wonky wheel. 288 00:27:29,921 --> 00:27:34,001 And I pushed it along a bit.. and it went a bit to the left.. 289 00:27:35,041 --> 00:27:39,741 ..and so I pushed it a bit further and it went a bit further to the left. 290 00:27:40,391 --> 00:27:44,511 And I pushed it a little bit further still and it went even further to the left. 291 00:27:45,591 --> 00:27:49,681 And in the end I kind of ended up back where I was in the first place. 292 00:28:00,601 --> 00:28:04,171 Eh.. um... here's another one. 293 00:28:06,611 --> 00:28:12,381 Very funny thing happened to me on the way here tonight. Yes, it did! 294 00:28:12,661 --> 00:28:18,751 There was a man, come up to me and he said: Bollo! He said... 295 00:28:20,341 --> 00:28:22,181 Oh hang on, was it a man? 296 00:28:24,481 --> 00:28:27,771 Sorry I mucked it up. I think it might have been a lady.. 297 00:28:28,431 --> 00:28:32,871 Let me start again - basically just passed and come up to me and they said: Bollo! 298 00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:37,681 -What's this? Naboo! Naboolio! -Next time you go to Brixton make sure that... 299 00:28:52,391 --> 00:28:54,061 -Are you okay? -What happend? 300 00:28:54,101 --> 00:28:55,121 -What? -What happend? 301 00:28:55,201 --> 00:28:57,431 Oh it went brilliantly - you did three hours! 302 00:28:58,461 --> 00:29:00,641 They carried you around, you did encores... 303 00:29:00,751 --> 00:29:01,781 -Oh really? -You were amazing! 304 00:29:02,091 --> 00:29:07,031 -Oh good, was Peter laughing? -Oh he spat flapjack all on his legs! 305 00:29:17,741 --> 00:29:21,741 Okay, well there you go that's it - you met Naboo, you met Bollo you met everyone who's gonna be in the show. 306 00:29:21,821 --> 00:29:24,551 It's time to do the show. You met everyone who's gonna be in it so.. 307 00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:33,001 Wait just one minute! What about me!? Bob Fossil! Yes! King of the Zooniverse! 308 00:29:33,161 --> 00:29:40,111 My brother! I'm king of the Zooniverse! And now I'm king of Brixton! 309 00:29:41,191 --> 00:29:46,691 I know you! I know you! You sexually confuse me! 310 00:29:47,971 --> 00:29:50,281 I fought with you in 'Nam! 311 00:29:50,501 --> 00:29:52,691 Steppy steppy step step! 312 00:30:02,411 --> 00:30:03,751 Hey! Oh, I don't need this. 313 00:30:05,861 --> 00:30:08,881 Brixton! I own you! 314 00:30:15,781 --> 00:30:17,971 Oh, I just popped a lung. 315 00:30:20,421 --> 00:30:23,101 Just shaking out a piss stain. 316 00:30:23,981 --> 00:30:26,581 Good to have you on board there Bob, I didn't expect to see you but.. 317 00:30:26,711 --> 00:30:28,381 -Great to be here! -Good to see you. 318 00:30:39,211 --> 00:30:41,691 So, you been good? What have you been up to? Fill us in. 319 00:30:41,831 --> 00:30:47,361 Well as you probably read in all the tabloids - I'm eighteen months pregnant. 320 00:30:47,481 --> 00:30:51,141 -I've got a bun in the oven. -Nice work. Nice work. Who's the dad? 321 00:30:51,321 --> 00:30:56,001 It's Tom over there and your marriage is a sham!! 322 00:31:00,141 --> 00:31:02,081 Anything else you've been up to? 323 00:31:02,151 --> 00:31:06,971 Oh yeah, I started this Underwater Language Academy. 324 00:31:07,051 --> 00:31:11,141 Yeah, check this out! Hi, I'm Bob Fossil, how are you? 325 00:31:11,271 --> 00:31:14,751 What's going on with you? (underwaterish gibberish:) 326 00:31:15,861 --> 00:31:21,211 Thank you, thank you. Please. Wooow! 327 00:31:22,541 --> 00:31:25,791 Anything else you've been doing, that's in the script? 328 00:31:26,801 --> 00:31:30,631 Oh yeah, oh yeah - that black and white thing I got in the mail. 329 00:31:30,691 --> 00:31:32,671 Yeah. With the words on it. 330 00:31:32,721 --> 00:31:40,561 The.. the devil scratchings.. Yeah I was in this detective show in the US, called Big Leg. 331 00:31:41,451 --> 00:31:43,211 -Big Leg? -Yeah. 332 00:31:43,581 --> 00:31:49,791 You know how detectives have disabilities, you know, like Ironside - he sits in a rolly chair. 333 00:31:50,221 --> 00:31:55,451 And that Murder-she-wrote-lady is a nymphomaniac. Where's the murderer? 334 00:31:56,011 --> 00:31:57,581 Let me at 'em! 335 00:31:58,941 --> 00:32:01,061 My finger's on fire! 336 00:32:02,601 --> 00:32:06,721 And Colombo likes to shit his raincoat and give it to his wife. 337 00:32:07,721 --> 00:32:15,591 Aaa one more question.. ooh here honey. Give that to the dry-cleaner's, I've got a glass eye. 338 00:32:17,911 --> 00:32:21,181 -Is that why he shits himself? -Yeah, he don't know where that shit's goin'. 339 00:32:21,721 --> 00:32:23,181 It's like s sprinkler. 340 00:32:29,881 --> 00:32:31,081 Here honey. 341 00:32:33,431 --> 00:32:34,531 -Right.. -Right? 342 00:32:34,601 --> 00:32:36,321 Ooh Brixton! 343 00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:43,221 -So you've played Big Leg, yeah? -Yeah what's his all angle on the detective genre? 344 00:32:43,331 --> 00:32:46,091 -I'm glad you ask. -I bet you are. 345 00:32:48,251 --> 00:32:54,461 Big Leg has a big fucking leg, right? He sits in the cop station, right? 346 00:32:54,791 --> 00:33:00,431 You know, he's like smoking a big cigar, he's dabbling his balls with a moist towelette. 347 00:33:00,931 --> 00:33:09,011 You know, while his leg goes out for miles around, kicking ass and fighting crime! 348 00:33:09,371 --> 00:33:17,671 Here you go burglar. Here you go embezzler! Come on into the station, cuff'em - I hate Whites! 349 00:33:19,781 --> 00:33:21,541 That was my catchphrase. 350 00:33:22,801 --> 00:33:26,341 -Hate you Whites! -We all do. 351 00:33:27,411 --> 00:33:31,351 Okay well that.. that sounds good, we look for to seeing that. 352 00:33:31,881 --> 00:33:34,111 -Yeah. -We're gonna do the show now, so now if you wanna.. 353 00:33:34,271 --> 00:33:41,291 I can't wait, I love to act - check me out. I'm an actor - I know what to say. 354 00:33:43,081 --> 00:33:45,781 Okay well, we'll try to find a place for that sort of stuff... 355 00:33:46,911 --> 00:33:49,221 Okay, are you ready? We're gonna do it, so you're gonna get backstage and we're gonna finish.. 356 00:33:49,221 --> 00:33:54,191 Oh, one more thing, I'd love to just warm up in front of the audience if that's okay? 357 00:33:54,768 --> 00:33:56,900 Is that alright with you lot? 358 00:33:58,621 --> 00:34:04,501 Bob Fossil! Is he a genius or is he.. ..or is he a retard? 359 00:34:06,781 --> 00:34:09,161 Um... I'm a renius. 360 00:34:10,311 --> 00:34:13,561 Are you ready to rock Brixton? 361 00:34:16,751 --> 00:34:19,211 Then hit it! 362 00:34:30,521 --> 00:34:35,511 Oh Brixton, give it to me Brixton, give it up, give it up, give it up. 363 00:34:36,061 --> 00:34:37,931 Brixton, give it up Brixton! 364 00:34:39,791 --> 00:34:41,031 Oh yeah! 365 00:34:47,631 --> 00:34:51,611 Check this out! Ooh yeah! 366 00:34:53,061 --> 00:34:55,341 I'm lactating! 367 00:35:02,751 --> 00:35:04,491 Hey look - I'm sewing! 368 00:35:07,661 --> 00:35:11,871 I'm reading a comic. I'm a robot! 369 00:35:15,183 --> 00:35:19,759 Ow! And that's why I don't like cricket! 370 00:35:31,131 --> 00:35:33,051 Bob Fossil - there he is. 371 00:35:33,451 --> 00:35:35,341 The light blue bitch. 372 00:35:36,061 --> 00:35:38,971 Okay, well that's it - you've met everyone who's gonna be in the show. It's time to do the show now. 373 00:35:39,301 --> 00:35:41,211 -And.. yeah? -Yeah, cool, let's go. -Let's do it! 374 00:35:41,591 --> 00:35:46,281 -That's nice, what's that? You changed your little top have you? -Yeah, do you like this? It's nice - simple design, yeah? 375 00:35:47,601 --> 00:35:49,051 Yeah, exactly! 376 00:35:53,781 --> 00:35:55,771 You know what? Hey hot stuff! 377 00:35:57,371 --> 00:35:59,571 Are you from a fifties cartoon? 378 00:36:01,681 --> 00:36:04,941 Feel that, look. Feel it! Pull it, give it a pull. 379 00:36:04,961 --> 00:36:08,291 -That is a durable fabric. -That springs right back into place. 380 00:36:08,361 --> 00:36:09,661 -It does, doesn't it? I bet that.. -But... 381 00:36:09,741 --> 00:36:10,391 I bet that was expen... 382 00:36:10,391 --> 00:36:12,591 Weirdly enough, lets you breathe! 383 00:36:13,211 --> 00:36:18,001 -I bet that's an expensive item, isn't it? -Not at all. Reasonably priced. 384 00:36:18,081 --> 00:36:20,481 -In the foyer. You're liking that? -Yeah. I've got my own... 385 00:36:21,361 --> 00:36:26,821 -It's part of the Vince Noir merchandise range, yeah. -Well I've got a range of merchandise comin' out. 386 00:36:27,041 --> 00:36:32,411 Don't you worry about that - Howard Moon range. I've got a hot range of bassoon cases coming out. 387 00:36:33,371 --> 00:36:37,791 Yeah! For the... for bassoon players in the crowd tonight..? Yeah! 388 00:36:38,211 --> 00:36:39,901 Get fucked! 389 00:36:41,591 --> 00:36:43,831 There'd be two if you're lucky. 390 00:36:44,451 --> 00:36:47,591 Yeah, we had to cancel that order, that wasn't really working out...I spoke to the merchandise people 391 00:36:48,371 --> 00:36:50,191 -What are you talking about? -We had to cancel that. 392 00:36:50,071 --> 00:36:51,871 -That was a sure-fire thing! -What? 393 00:36:51,951 --> 00:36:55,181 What about the.. what about the trumpet sock? 394 00:36:57,671 --> 00:37:01,821 -We didn't even know, what the trumpet sock was. -I told you what the trumpet sock was. 395 00:37:02,331 --> 00:37:08,771 I told you time and time again. You know, a sock - knitted sock - for the trumpet! 396 00:37:09,391 --> 00:37:12,071 You're going out on a picnic, you don't wanna take the full trumpet case, 397 00:37:12,091 --> 00:37:15,361 so you take your little sort of crochet trumpet sock. 398 00:37:15,991 --> 00:37:18,901 What, in case the trumpet's feet get cold? 399 00:37:19,011 --> 00:37:22,221 No no it's just, you know, it's a light-weight sort of trumpet sock, you know? 400 00:37:22,381 --> 00:37:26,101 It comes in a range of colours - you've got brown, you've got your beige, you've got your muffin, you've got your nutmeg. 401 00:37:26,131 --> 00:37:27,801 Do you know what I mean? 402 00:37:28,181 --> 00:37:31,601 -Nutmeg crochet trumpet sock? -That's right! 403 00:37:32,661 --> 00:37:35,141 -We had to cancel that. -Aaa foolish. 404 00:37:35,151 --> 00:37:40,121 But don't worry, we had some ideas, yeah, we came up with some merchandise for you, that you can wear on stage as well, yeah? 405 00:37:40,201 --> 00:37:44,301 -Yeah? -Check this out - look at this! Howard Moon... yeah. 406 00:37:45,051 --> 00:37:50,561 See? Look at this? The Howard Moon pink funky pants! How cool are they? 407 00:37:51,211 --> 00:37:55,561 Why don't you wear those? We wanna see Howard in these, don't we? 408 00:38:02,511 --> 00:38:07,441 -Get your northern pins out, come on! -This isn't an issue about my legs, I have got good legs. 409 00:38:07,571 --> 00:38:13,961 But that's not the issue, you know - I'm an a.. I'm an aaa shut it! You tart! 410 00:38:15,271 --> 00:38:18,221 -I'm an artist, you know - I've got poise and dignity. -Yeah? 411 00:38:18,321 --> 00:38:20,411 -I'm not doing that on stage. -Cool, okay. 412 00:38:20,621 --> 00:38:24,131 I understand where you're coming from, I've got poise and dignity too. 413 00:38:24,551 --> 00:38:26,481 -Should we get on with the show? -Let's do it, okay. 414 00:38:26,511 --> 00:38:28,701 Okay, are you ready for the show? 415 00:38:29,511 --> 00:38:32,071 Top shelf are you ready? 416 00:38:34,241 --> 00:38:36,671 Lower shelf? 417 00:38:41,421 --> 00:38:48,011 It's a little piece that we've written for you, I hope you enjoy it. It's simply called: The Ruby of Kukundu. 418 00:39:15,831 --> 00:39:18,001 The Arctic tundra.. 419 00:39:20,251 --> 00:39:23,751 ..using some sheets. 420 00:39:25,171 --> 00:39:29,001 Ten thousand years ago. 421 00:41:13,101 --> 00:41:16,811 Ten thousand years later! 422 00:41:32,081 --> 00:41:33,801 I'll come on again. 423 00:41:43,841 --> 00:41:45,221 Yes... 424 00:41:47,201 --> 00:41:49,261 Thanks mum.. 425 00:42:17,381 --> 00:42:19,791 Ow! chica chicaaa! 426 00:42:20,461 --> 00:42:22,711 You know I've got the moves! 427 00:42:23,161 --> 00:42:25,211 They call me doctor mime! 428 00:42:37,561 --> 00:42:39,561 Hello, Naboo's nick-nacks. 429 00:42:40,611 --> 00:42:45,621 Hi, Naboo's not here at the moment, but I am so any queries you have - just fire them straight at me - Howard Moon. 430 00:42:46,081 --> 00:42:48,621 Yeah, we don't have any of those, I'm afraid, no... 431 00:42:48,881 --> 00:42:53,431 What we do have though is very interesting and rare jazz LPs which I brought to the store... 432 00:42:54,051 --> 00:42:55,811 Hello..? 433 00:42:56,591 --> 00:42:58,781 Huh, must have gone in a tunnel.. 434 00:43:11,541 --> 00:43:13,561 What the fuck was that? 435 00:43:14,261 --> 00:43:15,961 -Sweep it. -Sweep what? 436 00:43:16,441 --> 00:43:18,781 Sweep up the mime shards. 437 00:43:20,331 --> 00:43:22,041 Where are they? 438 00:43:24,051 --> 00:43:26,871 -All around. -All around? 439 00:43:29,421 --> 00:43:31,291 Watch your eyes. 440 00:43:32,491 --> 00:43:37,131 Or you'll have to go to the mime hospital.. ..see the mime doctor. 441 00:43:37,741 --> 00:43:39,931 -Hey how are you? Are you alright? -Good yeah, I'm really good. 442 00:43:40,041 --> 00:43:44,411 -Yeah? Have you sold anything yet? -Not as yet, but it's early days, early days, early days. 443 00:43:44,471 --> 00:43:45,831 -Yep? -Yep. 444 00:43:45,881 --> 00:43:49,201 -You've been tryin' to flog your moody jazz records? -Yeah. 445 00:43:49,281 --> 00:43:52,611 -As if anyone's buying this record - look how big his face is! 446 00:43:53,161 --> 00:43:56,921 Why should that be a problem? That's Larry 'Big face' Eddison. 447 00:43:57,811 --> 00:43:59,801 One of the biggest faces in bebop. 448 00:44:00,241 --> 00:44:02,481 -One of the biggest faces? -Yeah, I mean, there's... 449 00:44:02,481 --> 00:44:08,021 -You mean there's a bigger face? -Yeah, there's Toots Enormous-Face Tellemans. 450 00:44:08,751 --> 00:44:10,591 -He's like a frying pan! -Yeah.. 451 00:44:11,531 --> 00:44:13,781 Rest of the band just hold him up. 452 00:44:14,571 --> 00:44:18,621 Well don't you worry about it, yeah? Cos I've got these things! These are gonna fly off the shelves, yeah? 453 00:44:19,051 --> 00:44:22,071 Naboo is gonna love us! Check these bitches out, yeah? 454 00:44:22,071 --> 00:44:25,301 -What are they? -Wigs of my own hair, how cool are they? 455 00:44:25,611 --> 00:44:32,881 Come on, no - look at them - not only are they stylish, yeah? In that kind of Mick Jagger, Joan Jett, Stig of the dump way, yeah? 456 00:44:34,141 --> 00:44:38,261 But when you put one on - they transform you into a popstar like me! 457 00:44:39,611 --> 00:44:41,961 Yeah, but you're not a popstar, right? You work in a shop with me. 458 00:44:43,291 --> 00:44:46,401 Yeah, but I'm gonna be, check me out! 459 00:44:54,581 --> 00:45:01,841 ~ Driving along on a perspex sea, heart beats fast like a tiny machine ~ 460 00:45:01,921 --> 00:45:08,801 ~ I am electro boy.. ..I am electro girl. ~ 461 00:45:21,591 --> 00:45:23,011 You little tart. 462 00:45:24,161 --> 00:45:29,061 Yeah, well you know I've got dreams too - I'm not goin' to be a shop keeper my entire life, check me out! 463 00:45:31,891 --> 00:45:34,121 Yeah... Believe it! 464 00:45:45,761 --> 00:45:47,421 Shut it and listen. 465 00:46:15,761 --> 00:46:20,831 Yes indeed. Anyway, enough of this shenanigans. Why are you late for work this morn'? 466 00:46:20,851 --> 00:46:24,151 Was I late for work? This mooorn'? 467 00:46:24,191 --> 00:46:26,641 -This fair morn'. -This fair morn'. 468 00:46:26,851 --> 00:46:31,791 Well I tell you why, basically, what happened, right, I was in bed last night, it was really weird and I was all tucked up in my duvet, 469 00:46:31,851 --> 00:46:37,871 it was really nice, so I was just nodding off, yeah, when this kingfisher came in - he was massive, his body was 470 00:46:37,741 --> 00:46:44,131 about that wide yeah? But he had men's legs, sort of.. he was walking like that. And he had a kingf- and a really long beak and he just 471 00:46:44,181 --> 00:46:53,271 knelt on me, right, and just pecked me like that - really tiny pecks right in bridge of the nose, oh it was.. all night, I couldn't sleep. 472 00:46:59,861 --> 00:47:01,771 Okay, fair enough. 473 00:47:02,211 --> 00:47:06,341 I know why you were late for work this morning, I know why. Cos when I got up you were looking in the mirror, yeah? 474 00:47:06,411 --> 00:47:11,481 And when I left the house you were still looking in the mirror. And you had a mirrorball suit on, yeah? 475 00:47:11,521 --> 00:47:15,501 And you were trapped in your own reflection, you know? You're like a budgie. 476 00:47:17,471 --> 00:47:19,951 I'm not like a budgie! 477 00:47:46,191 --> 00:47:48,891 I mean why can't you just take a leaf out of my wardrobe, huh? 478 00:47:49,491 --> 00:47:52,171 -See what I do, when I get up? -What's going on there? 479 00:47:52,611 --> 00:47:56,661 This is what I do - I get up of a morn', slip into some nice slinky trews, 480 00:47:57,521 --> 00:48:03,221 pop on a nice muted shirt, strap on a couple of radio mics and I'm away. 481 00:48:04,011 --> 00:48:07,601 Why does it take you so long to get ready of a god damn cotton-picking morn'? 482 00:48:07,741 --> 00:48:11,401 Well this morning - the reason it took so long is cos I was waiting for this, 483 00:48:11,521 --> 00:48:14,241 and it came this morning, I've been waiting for it for six weeks, yeah? 484 00:48:14,291 --> 00:48:16,431 -What is it? -Check it out. It's a new hair drier! 485 00:48:16,451 --> 00:48:19,081 It's a new Jean-Claude Jacquettie hair drier. 486 00:48:19,431 --> 00:48:21,881 Do you know Jean-Claude Jacquettie, the French designer? 487 00:48:23,081 --> 00:48:27,251 Yeah, a few people know him, he's genius! Have you seen the advert? It's amazing! 488 00:48:27,291 --> 00:48:28,891 You must have! It goes like this: 489 00:48:28,911 --> 00:48:33,371 ~ Jean-Claude Jacquettie with his jacket on, Jean-Claude Jacquettie with his jacket off. ~ 490 00:48:33,461 --> 00:48:37,761 ~ Jean-Claude Jacquettie puts his jacket on, Jean-Claude Jacquettie takes his jacket off ~ 491 00:48:37,931 --> 00:48:45,151 ~ Jacket on, jacket off, jacket on, jacket off. Ooooh stylish, oooh Wokkaman! ~ 492 00:48:45,241 --> 00:48:51,601 ~ Runnin' round Paris with a tiny haversack, looking to the future with a telescope, ~ 493 00:48:51,631 --> 00:48:55,131 ~ Drawing on the past with an eagle claw, eagle claw - why? ~ 494 00:48:55,171 --> 00:48:57,971 ~ Eagle claw, eagle claw, bo-bo-boingboing ~ 495 00:48:58,011 --> 00:49:01,381 ~ Take the fashion coin, slot it in the pocket of your bum bag, take it to Milan, ~ 496 00:49:01,431 --> 00:49:05,831 ~ take it to Japan, take it to the man with a fashion plan - Jacquettie! ~ 497 00:49:18,791 --> 00:49:20,461 Never heard of him. 498 00:49:21,501 --> 00:49:28,081 Well you will have soon, cos not only does it fold away, but it's the most powerful hair drier in Europe, check it out! 499 00:49:33,961 --> 00:49:38,011 Come on that's worth the ticket price alone! 500 00:49:42,021 --> 00:49:45,291 Oooh... Jacquettie. 501 00:49:45,831 --> 00:49:49,011 That is a powerful hair drier. Watch out! 502 00:49:53,941 --> 00:49:56,371 -Oooh.. -Eeeey.. 503 00:49:57,361 --> 00:50:01,011 That's the third time this week I've nearly killed that innocent girl. 504 00:50:02,281 --> 00:50:04,541 Well, ironically she's the killer. 505 00:50:06,431 --> 00:50:09,531 -What, Bunches? -Yees Bunches McGinty. 506 00:50:10,391 --> 00:50:12,481 -Bunches McGinty? -Reknowned killer. 507 00:50:12,561 --> 00:50:15,811 -How does she kill people? -With the Chuppachup lollies. 508 00:50:17,041 --> 00:50:23,301 -Straight in the eye. -Oooh, really? Oooh... 509 00:50:30,191 --> 00:50:33,761 I thought he was the killer, he had a target on his chest and everything! 510 00:50:34,511 --> 00:50:36,571 He was just a mod. 511 00:50:42,751 --> 00:50:47,311 Ooh, I've killed one of my own, there's no way I can go on.. 512 00:50:47,321 --> 00:50:50,801 Don't do it Vince. Don't blow dry your own brains out. 513 00:50:52,111 --> 00:50:55,261 Gonna have to put a call in to Wella and smooth it over. 514 00:50:56,501 --> 00:50:58,641 Anyway, look, answer me' this question, yeah? 515 00:50:59,391 --> 00:51:02,681 Why do I have to open up shop every day? Why do I have to do that? Why me? 516 00:51:03,351 --> 00:51:06,531 Cos you're the only one who's trained-in mime. 517 00:51:09,031 --> 00:51:11,621 That is true actually. 518 00:51:12,061 --> 00:51:14,441 -Cuppa tea? -Yeah, alright. 519 00:51:26,201 --> 00:51:29,341 -Sugar? -I'll have two. 520 00:51:37,611 --> 00:51:39,271 Nice. 521 00:51:42,051 --> 00:51:43,901 Careful, that's piping hot. 522 00:51:45,721 --> 00:51:48,231 Oooh, sweep up the shards, sweep up the shards. 523 00:51:48,401 --> 00:51:50,601 -Watch your eyes. -Actually forget it. 524 00:51:50,671 --> 00:51:51,751 -What? -There's a customer, there's a cu.. 525 00:51:51,821 --> 00:51:55,081 Assume the position. The other one! 526 00:52:01,261 --> 00:52:07,151 I am doctor Henry Jay Sexually Frustrated Puppet-Fucker. 527 00:52:11,261 --> 00:52:16,481 Yes, that's my name. I believe it's German. 528 00:52:17,371 --> 00:52:25,611 World reknowned archeologist. I love archeology, it makes me feel like a topless puppy. 529 00:52:29,001 --> 00:52:30,951 -Good day, sirs. -Hello. 530 00:52:31,001 --> 00:52:33,691 I'm looking for Naboo. 531 00:52:33,781 --> 00:52:37,901 -Yeah, can you get out of my light? -Very well sir. 532 00:52:38,121 --> 00:52:39,821 You are the light. 533 00:52:41,131 --> 00:52:46,151 Naboo isn't here at the moment, he's out buying rugs in Quebec.. 534 00:52:46,941 --> 00:52:52,201 But I'm here so I am fully qualified to look at this sort of archeological stuff so I could have a... 535 00:52:52,341 --> 00:52:54,071 -..look at it.. -No no no no! 536 00:52:54,801 --> 00:53:03,951 Do not open the box! Only Naboo shall open the box. No one knows what's inside. 537 00:53:07,931 --> 00:53:14,031 It could be priceless jewels or unimaginable evil. 538 00:53:17,201 --> 00:53:20,451 -Oh look! Wiglets! -Yeah! 539 00:53:20,831 --> 00:53:24,781 How cool are they? They're made from my old hair, do you like those? 540 00:53:24,701 --> 00:53:26,111 They are amazing. 541 00:53:26,121 --> 00:53:28,791 Do you like those? If you like those, you might be interested in these. 542 00:53:28,991 --> 00:53:33,241 These are some very rare jazz LPs, I picked up on the continent, this one is Freddie Hubbard - 543 00:53:33,271 --> 00:53:38,071 live at the Black hawk now. Freddie was one of the foremost bebop trumpeters of his generation, 544 00:53:38,091 --> 00:53:42,211 in fact it's more postbop really, rather than bebop, but he was incredible, incredible trumpet player. 545 00:53:51,591 --> 00:53:53,991 Um... Take that as a NO. 546 00:53:58,541 --> 00:54:01,691 -Anyway, wiglets! -Yeah, how cool are they, yeah? 547 00:54:02,121 --> 00:54:06,461 Not only do they make you look stylish, but when you put them on they transform you into a popstar! 548 00:54:06,871 --> 00:54:09,741 I've always wanted to be a popstar! 549 00:54:12,231 --> 00:54:13,591 Pop one on! 550 00:54:21,881 --> 00:54:29,331 ~ Digging up bones with a plastic spade finding ruins from another age ~ 551 00:54:29,341 --> 00:54:36,601 ~ I'm Archeology boy.. ...I'm Archeology girl. ~ 552 00:54:37,011 --> 00:54:38,611 I'll take three! 553 00:54:44,751 --> 00:54:48,771 -That'd be seven hundred thousand euros, please. -Very well. 554 00:54:49,031 --> 00:54:51,371 Oh, one note, cheeky! 555 00:54:52,871 --> 00:54:55,021 Well, I'm off to be a popstar. 556 00:54:55,501 --> 00:54:58,761 -I thought you were an archeologist. -FUCK ARCHEOLOGY! 557 00:55:00,141 --> 00:55:01,591 -Good day sirs. -Yeah.. 558 00:55:01,701 --> 00:55:05,721 -Mate, you forgot yout box. -I said good day, sirs! 559 00:55:06,171 --> 00:55:10,081 ~ Digging up bones with a plastic spade... ~ 560 00:55:13,551 --> 00:55:16,181 Well, that's some of the strangest acting I've ever seen in my life.. 561 00:55:16,921 --> 00:55:23,961 Well he's left his box though, which is a bit of a turn-up so I suggest I make sure Naboo gets this here box. You can take the day off, 562 00:55:24,031 --> 00:55:29,491 if you fancy, get your hair done or whatever is it you need to get done and I make sure Naboo gets this box. 563 00:55:29,951 --> 00:55:31,901 -Okay, cool, excelent! -How about that? 564 00:55:32,001 --> 00:55:35,471 Um.. You heard what he said though? You're not gonna open it, are you? 565 00:55:35,571 --> 00:55:36,851 Oh, no no I would never do that. 566 00:55:37,061 --> 00:55:46,011 On the contrary! As soon as he is gone I shall open the box and all of it's content shall be mine! 567 00:55:55,091 --> 00:55:57,651 I'll better stay here then.. 568 00:55:59,811 --> 00:56:02,551 No, I'm not gonna open it - I just said I'm not gonna open it, yeah? 569 00:56:03,031 --> 00:56:06,871 -What? You just said you were! -Yeah in my mind, in my head! 570 00:56:07,601 --> 00:56:10,091 In my internal monologue. 571 00:56:10,171 --> 00:56:11,961 -Yeah? -I could hear it though. 572 00:56:12,531 --> 00:56:16,051 -Yeah, it's technique - it's theatrical technique! -A technique? You had a red light on your face! 573 00:56:17,301 --> 00:56:19,931 If anything, it was drawing attention to what you were saying. 574 00:56:20,071 --> 00:56:22,091 -Alright! -It's rubbish! 575 00:56:23,981 --> 00:56:26,101 Oh look, there's a sale on at Topshop! 576 00:56:31,641 --> 00:56:34,071 There isn't a sale on at Topshop at all. 577 00:56:36,431 --> 00:56:38,891 There is a sale on at Topshop, there's a sale on at Topshop! 578 00:57:02,791 --> 00:57:05,361 Oh.. bit of disappointment.. 579 00:57:06,801 --> 00:57:12,041 Heyho.. I'm gonna nip down the basement, do a bit of a stock check.. 580 00:58:23,471 --> 00:58:28,011 ~ Trapped in a box by a cockney nutjob, have a cuppa tea, have a cuppa tea ~ 581 00:58:28,431 --> 00:58:32,841 ~ I'm the hitcher, let me put you in the picture creeping in your room in the dead of night ~ 582 00:58:33,041 --> 00:58:35,561 ~ with me solo polo vision -That's right! ~ 583 00:58:35,591 --> 00:58:40,221 ~ Im a cockney geezer, watch me bleed ya I knew the Ripper when he was just a nipper ~ 584 00:58:40,271 --> 00:58:45,001 ~ I taught him how to slice, I cut him up a treat -Pound your banana -Two pound your pear ~ 585 00:58:45,311 --> 00:58:49,691 ~ -Pound your banana. -Two pound your pear -Pound your banana. -Two pound your pear ~ 586 00:58:50,081 --> 00:58:52,271 ~ -Fourteen shillings for your melons -Oh yeah! ~ 587 00:58:52,321 --> 00:58:56,591 ~ We're the Piper twins, Jim and Jackie Piper We cut through the night like a windscreen ~ 588 00:58:56,601 --> 00:59:00,701 ~ wiping you away like rain drops don't mess with the boys.. ~ 589 00:59:00,831 --> 00:59:02,131 ~ Shut your noise! ~ 590 00:59:02,231 --> 00:59:06,821 ~ Coming in stong like a freak show nightmare dancing skeletons, white, blue and yellow ones ~ 591 00:59:06,961 --> 00:59:08,741 ~ Moving through the shadows with the speed of a cat ~ 592 00:59:09,041 --> 00:59:11,451 ~ -And if you cross us we'll cut ya. -And you ain't gona like that! ~ 593 00:59:11,631 --> 00:59:16,301 ~ I'm bad juju, I use voodoo if I choose to I harness the power of evil to abuse you ~ 594 00:59:16,441 --> 00:59:19,741 ~ With power, a polo, an evil magnet we're sucking up your soul ~ 595 00:59:19,851 --> 00:59:22,971 ~ And you ain't gonna like that! ~ 596 00:59:33,071 --> 00:59:36,521 - Here you are boys, take that, off you go.. -Alright boss. 597 00:59:36,741 --> 00:59:39,281 -..get around Brixton and create havoc. -Alright boss. 598 00:59:39,671 --> 00:59:42,721 I'm a cockney, I'm a cockney, I'm a cockney.. 599 00:59:43,291 --> 00:59:45,271 We all are, you nonce! 600 00:59:46,061 --> 00:59:48,471 Allright Brixton, how are you? 601 00:59:50,671 --> 00:59:52,831 You're alright you slags! 602 00:59:53,461 --> 00:59:58,101 Yeah! Ooh it feels good to be out of the box, oooh it feels good. 603 00:59:58,111 --> 01:00:03,901 Two hundred years I've been trapped inside this here box, two hundred years Brixton! 604 01:00:04,311 --> 01:00:06,741 For crimes against humanity! 605 01:00:07,411 --> 01:00:11,051 That's right - I've raped a dolphin! 606 01:00:13,541 --> 01:00:17,071 Well technically speakin' it was a porpoise. 607 01:00:17,241 --> 01:00:20,371 But one blow-hole's the same as the next to me! 608 01:00:22,701 --> 01:00:28,881 Lot of people are goin': Ooh the whale, ooh save the whale, the marine wildlife, they're all intelligent, 609 01:00:28,891 --> 01:00:32,791 don't hurt them. I'll fucking save them! Bring'em over here! 610 01:00:33,081 --> 01:00:38,091 That whale what they found in the Thames? That was me what took him there in a lorry! 611 01:00:38,141 --> 01:00:41,401 Get in the back we're all going out for a picnic! 612 01:00:42,361 --> 01:00:46,761 He was in there going: „Oh where are we going, the Indian Ocean?“ 613 01:00:47,311 --> 01:00:51,111 Yeah something like that, you heard of Lambeth Bridge, you slag? 614 01:00:51,151 --> 01:00:59,471 Get in there! Get in there with the Zinger burgers! Get in there with the johnnies! I'll reverse drown your arse! 615 01:00:59,761 --> 01:01:06,061 I'm evil Brixton! I'm... I'm a nob! 616 01:01:11,291 --> 01:01:17,001 I spent all last week driving contaminated swans to Fife. 617 01:01:21,641 --> 01:01:26,151 Pullin'em out of back of the van, breakin' their necks, throwing them on the floor, 618 01:01:26,261 --> 01:01:30,831 leaving a sachet of Lemsip and creepin' off into the night. 619 01:01:35,351 --> 01:01:41,011 I'm EVIL! I once kicked a racoon's face right off its body! 620 01:01:42,351 --> 01:01:46,521 What its face was doin' on its body I have no fuckin' idea. 621 01:01:47,011 --> 01:01:52,551 Faces should be covering heads! You're a freak of nature! I told him I was doin' him a favour! 622 01:01:52,621 --> 01:01:59,181 Bang! Kicked it right off! It flew through the air like a pancake and landed on Jesus's face. 623 01:02:00,671 --> 01:02:03,941 I didn't mean it to, but it was a cheeky bonus! 624 01:02:10,181 --> 01:02:12,481 A very cheeky bonus.. 625 01:02:12,461 --> 01:02:17,621 Anyway, you'll have to excuse me, I've been in that box two hundred years, I need a sprinkle. 626 01:02:19,041 --> 01:02:25,091 There's no toilets in there, excuse me ladies and getlemen, while I piss like a powerful mule. 627 01:02:26,411 --> 01:02:31,401 Ooooh! Ooooh yeaaah! 628 01:02:32,071 --> 01:02:35,421 Comin' out of me like a yellow cable! 629 01:02:36,071 --> 01:02:39,161 Oh I have had a Berocca! 630 01:02:42,111 --> 01:02:46,421 Oh yeah, oh oh fuck yeah, oh it's good, oh it feels good, 631 01:02:46,551 --> 01:02:54,331 oh oh fuckin feels good, take that you slag! You're too far away, the venue's too big, I'm comin' in, fuck you! 632 01:02:55,441 --> 01:03:00,451 Let's have a slash orgy come on, drink down my fuckin' cockney urine! 633 01:03:02,101 --> 01:03:07,661 Boosh fans, you BBC3 weirdos! Drink it, drink it then! 634 01:03:08,351 --> 01:03:12,081 You sir, open your mouth! Taste the cockney goodness! 635 01:03:13,651 --> 01:03:16,311 It's got Berocca in it, you'll be alright! 636 01:03:16,681 --> 01:03:25,061 Come on! Fuckin' 'ell, how light it is in 'ere? Are you alright? Little self-conscious, bit of piss make you feel good! 637 01:03:29,811 --> 01:03:36,551 How am I gonna get back on stage? I don't like stairs - you give me a bunk-up, come over here. Come on. 638 01:03:37,891 --> 01:03:42,241 You've had a shocker all night, ain't you pal? You remember bunk-ups, when we were kids, 639 01:03:42,901 --> 01:03:47,121 go on, bend down, nice and low get like that. Yeaaaah! 640 01:03:47,821 --> 01:03:49,511 I'm only joking, come on. 641 01:03:51,671 --> 01:03:55,631 Ooh there you go pal, thank you. Thanks a lot, cheers. 642 01:04:03,341 --> 01:04:08,761 Disposable penis - 3.99 Costcutter! 643 01:04:21,341 --> 01:04:23,061 Can I help you? 644 01:04:23,211 --> 01:04:26,741 No thanks, squire I'm just browsing. Who are you? 645 01:04:27,591 --> 01:04:29,641 I'm Naboo, that's who. 646 01:04:36,561 --> 01:04:37,601 Who are you? 647 01:04:39,521 --> 01:04:42,451 They call me the Hitcher! 648 01:04:49,841 --> 01:04:53,331 -Is that your theme tune? -No, it fuckin' ain't. 649 01:05:03,111 --> 01:05:07,261 Oi soundman, what the fuck was that supposed to be? 650 01:05:08,071 --> 01:05:16,461 I asked for track twelve didn't I, „Ominous chords, in brackets, He's pure evil, he kicked a racoon's face off onto Jesus's face“. 651 01:05:16,951 --> 01:05:19,861 What the fuck was that supposed to be, the holiday show? 652 01:05:21,561 --> 01:05:26,061 Don't make me come down there boy and put a dolphin suit on you! 653 01:05:29,561 --> 01:05:31,631 What are you doing in my Nabootique? 654 01:05:34,821 --> 01:05:36,391 In your what, pal? 655 01:05:37,771 --> 01:05:40,121 In my Nabootique. 656 01:05:41,361 --> 01:05:47,041 I'll tell you what I'm doing in your Nabootique! I'm doing this! 657 01:05:51,601 --> 01:05:54,071 Aaah shit! 658 01:05:55,771 --> 01:06:03,381 Yeah, yeaah boo it up! Boo it up you nonces! Boo it up! 659 01:06:03,861 --> 01:06:07,941 Every boo goes to making my erection that little bit stronger! 660 01:06:09,421 --> 01:06:13,851 Don't boo after the concept! Fucking weirdo! 661 01:06:15,731 --> 01:06:20,081 Alright then, let's see what Ali-baba's got back here in the way of money! 662 01:06:21,241 --> 01:06:24,031 Ooh enormous face! 663 01:06:27,601 --> 01:06:36,351 700 000 €! What a result! Hahaha take care Aladdin, I'm off to Hoxton to get some pie and mash. 664 01:06:36,411 --> 01:06:40,981 I'm a cockney, I'm a cockney - oh, I can't get off this way, fuck! 665 01:07:02,991 --> 01:07:12,091 Hello everyone! I'm so happy to be here. I'm the Moon, I'm so happy. 666 01:07:13,621 --> 01:07:20,441 In the sixties, a man come in and he put a flag in my belly. 667 01:07:21,401 --> 01:07:34,661 And he driving around in the buggy.. and did jump around. One small step for mankind and one big step for the Moon. 668 01:07:36,801 --> 01:07:43,071 He not been back since. Should I have made him a cuppa tea? 669 01:07:45,001 --> 01:07:51,941 When did he only come once? Has he seen all he needed to? 670 01:08:31,091 --> 01:08:35,951 I've got a bad feeling about this.. Naboo? 671 01:08:36,191 --> 01:08:41,431 This is it Bollo. I'm close to the end.. ..fading away... 672 01:08:42,621 --> 01:08:49,371 Do not fear my friend. Maybe I will see you. In the next life. 673 01:08:50,391 --> 01:08:53,831 I doubt it. I'm going to heaven. 674 01:08:56,801 --> 01:08:59,181 Do animals not go to heaven? 675 01:08:59,661 --> 01:09:02,871 Well yeah, but you killed that boy. 676 01:09:09,401 --> 01:09:12,551 Oh yeah, I forgot about that. 677 01:09:52,581 --> 01:09:54,611 What are you doing? 678 01:09:55,771 --> 01:09:59,571 -Sorry I thought you were gone. -Just havin' a powernap. 679 01:10:01,931 --> 01:10:04,141 Now! It's comin'.. 680 01:10:04,941 --> 01:10:06,701 No, that's not it.. 681 01:10:06,971 --> 01:10:28,151 Yep. No. Yep. No. Yep. No. Yep. No. Yep. No..... 682 01:10:37,291 --> 01:10:42,321 ~ Naboolio, why did you have to go? ~ 683 01:10:43,631 --> 01:10:49,081 ~ Naboolio, we really loved you so! ~ 684 01:10:49,631 --> 01:10:55,711 ~ I heard you sing, you had a velvet voice. The way you danced, I really had no choice. ~ 685 01:10:55,951 --> 01:11:00,931 ~ Naboolio, why did you leave us so? ~ 686 01:11:02,051 --> 01:11:07,581 ~ Naboolio, why did you have to go? ~ 687 01:11:08,491 --> 01:11:14,401 ~ -Boolio, Boolio, why did you have to go, leave me solo? -Give it up now, for Naboolio. ~ 688 01:11:14,571 --> 01:11:20,731 ~ -Boolio, Boolio, why did you have to go, leave me solo. -Give it up now for Naboolio. ~ 689 01:11:20,801 --> 01:11:26,711 ~ Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, wanting me, squeezing me, baby, come on - you know you want it. ~ 690 01:11:27,001 --> 01:11:32,861 ~ Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, hun. Squeezing me, teasing me. Baby, yeah, baby come on, uh! ~ 691 01:11:33,041 --> 01:11:35,971 ~ Sucking on my titties, like you... ~ 692 01:11:45,191 --> 01:11:47,111 What are you doing?! 693 01:11:48,121 --> 01:11:52,141 Sorry, I got a bit carried away... 694 01:11:54,381 --> 01:11:56,521 Peter? 695 01:11:59,801 --> 01:12:02,111 Naboo is dead! 696 01:12:04,581 --> 01:12:08,231 But there is a way, to bring a shaman back to live. 697 01:12:09,411 --> 01:12:14,851 You must retrieve the sacred Ruby of Kukundu. 698 01:12:15,311 --> 01:12:20,451 It is to be found deep in the Arctic tundra... 699 01:12:20,751 --> 01:12:24,231 -Let's go! -..or Spain. 700 01:12:27,971 --> 01:12:34,111 -Arctic tundra or Spain? -Yeah, I can't remember which one it is, sorry. 701 01:12:35,181 --> 01:12:41,121 Yeah, they're quite far apart Bollo, you know? You could be little bit more specific. 702 01:12:46,111 --> 01:12:48,401 No. 703 01:12:48,651 --> 01:12:54,191 Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, wanting me, squeezing me. Baby, yeah, uh - come on! 704 01:13:02,241 --> 01:13:05,381 Well there you have it - that's the end of the first half, things are hotting up. 705 01:13:05,891 --> 01:13:09,721 -Naboo's dead. -Yep, bit of a shocker. 706 01:13:10,721 --> 01:13:13,571 Bollo's gone insane with greif. 707 01:13:13,651 --> 01:13:18,101 So we're left to retrieve the Ruby of Kukundu. Hm.. the second half. 708 01:13:18,451 --> 01:13:21,811 Will we find it? Won't we? Will we? Won't we? Will we? Won't we? 709 01:13:21,931 --> 01:13:24,271 We will. But uh... 710 01:13:25,181 --> 01:13:27,031 But will we? 711 01:13:27,641 --> 01:13:31,761 We will. Will we find it? We will find it. 712 01:13:32,271 --> 01:13:36,941 So - I suggest I'll go to Spain, you know, you'll go to the Arctic and we'll see how we do, yeah? 713 01:13:37,141 --> 01:13:39,611 Yeah? Maybe I'll go to Spain though eh? 714 01:13:40,371 --> 01:13:46,281 No no I'll go to Spain, because I'm Spanish. So.. you should go to the Arctic and I'll.. 715 01:13:46,791 --> 01:13:49,531 -As if you're Spanish. -..I'll do the Spanish leg. 716 01:13:49,791 --> 01:13:52,231 -Well, I'm a Spaniard - you know, I'm deeply Spanish. -What? 717 01:13:52,301 --> 01:13:53,841 -Oh yeah yeah yeah. -Get lost! 718 01:13:53,921 --> 01:13:57,801 - I'm well Spanish. -Well Spanish? What are you a chav? I'm well Spanish, mate. 719 01:13:58,631 --> 01:14:01,631 Yeah? I'm El Chaviola. 720 01:14:02,921 --> 01:14:04,701 Sun-dried Chaviola. 721 01:14:05,551 --> 01:14:08,661 Come on, but - come on, you're not Spanish! You're clearly.. 722 01:14:08,731 --> 01:14:10,921 -I am! -You're not! You're clearly from Leeds. 723 01:14:12,461 --> 01:14:15,481 Ha ha ha? Nothing. 724 01:14:16,741 --> 01:14:18,921 Great help that.. 725 01:14:19,881 --> 01:14:21,291 -Listen.. -Then leave. 726 01:14:22,371 --> 01:14:24,591 Are you possessed? 727 01:14:26,231 --> 01:14:27,881 By a twat? 728 01:14:33,041 --> 01:14:35,271 -Listen - you're not Spanish. -I am. 729 01:14:35,431 --> 01:14:42,121 You're not Spanish - you're clearly from Leeds. I've seen the way you talk to women. 730 01:14:42,201 --> 01:14:45,491 Huh, you dirty cow, get in my wheelbarrow, cm'on! 731 01:14:47,041 --> 01:14:50,551 -Listen... I was..don't talk about that, alright? -It was brilliant though! 732 01:14:50,561 --> 01:14:54,651 Huh, you cheeky vixens, there's room for all of ya' in Barratt's barrow, cm'on! 733 01:14:55,981 --> 01:14:57,291 I was drunk.. 734 01:14:57,891 --> 01:15:00,441 I know, so was I - I was in the wheelbarrow. 735 01:15:02,141 --> 01:15:07,131 Alright, well we're gonna have decide who goes where, one way or the other, alright? I suggest we toss a coin. 736 01:15:07,181 --> 01:15:10,401 -Have any coins about your person? -I haven't got any pockets. 737 01:15:12,091 --> 01:15:14,011 You leave that to me. 738 01:15:39,571 --> 01:15:42,211 -Okay, heads or tails? -Aaa.. tails! 739 01:15:43,631 --> 01:15:45,811 -Oh, what a cunt! -Yeah! 740 01:15:50,101 --> 01:15:55,441 It was a mime coin, he could have said anything. What a spazz. 741 01:15:56,391 --> 01:16:01,081 That wasn't very PC (Politically Correct), was it? You all laughed, we're in it together. 742 01:16:01,971 --> 01:16:08,961 See you in hell. So basically that is the end of the first half, go and have a drink, have a wee-wee and.. 743 01:16:18,761 --> 01:16:20,381 Aaaa fuck! 744 01:16:25,661 --> 01:16:27,221 Watch out, watch out! 745 01:16:40,101 --> 01:16:41,921 No, get away! 746 01:17:13,591 --> 01:17:24,761 The only problem with be.. with when you are the Moon - like me - is, you have such a chalky white face, it makes your teeth look yellow. 747 01:17:26,251 --> 01:17:36,531 And I went to the dentist and he said: Ooh your teeth are yellow! I said: Noo! Only when you compare them to my chalky white face. 748 01:17:36,581 --> 01:17:41,321 If I had skin - like yours - they would not look yellow! 749 01:17:43,661 --> 01:17:54,760 I had fifteen fillings and he said: That will be £500 . And I said: I don't pay for nothing! I'm the Moon! 750 01:17:55,230 --> 01:18:01,040 And I rised out of the chair and I went off back up and he couldn't stop me. 751 01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:08,150 Every now and then I recieve letter 'You still owe that money!' I say I might pay it, I might not. 752 01:18:08,660 --> 01:18:12,620 I'm the Moon, I don't pay fucking dental fees! 753 01:19:07,570 --> 01:19:09,540 Don't patronize me. 754 01:19:12,590 --> 01:19:16,300 Howard Moon's journal - day thirty-seven. 755 01:19:16,830 --> 01:19:19,320 Still no sign of the Ruby of Kukundu. 756 01:19:20,850 --> 01:19:28,530 The Arctic is a very lonely place, so lonely here.. ..wind my only friend. 757 01:19:29,310 --> 01:19:31,570 I hate you! 758 01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:39,110 Shut up wind! 759 01:19:40,910 --> 01:19:46,080 The Arctic is a very strange environment - the days are very short here. 760 01:19:49,820 --> 01:19:52,360 Luckily the nights are even shorter. 761 01:19:53,580 --> 01:19:55,620 Ha, where are you from? 762 01:20:01,980 --> 01:20:04,410 Day thirty-eight. 763 01:20:05,790 --> 01:20:11,410 A strange figure approaches from the horizon. Could this be my salvation? 764 01:20:24,649 --> 01:20:27,819 Look deep into the parka! 765 01:20:30,949 --> 01:20:32,439 What? 766 01:20:34,259 --> 01:20:37,859 Look deep into the parka! 767 01:20:38,239 --> 01:20:39,789 Why? 768 01:20:40,889 --> 01:20:47,259 There are many things in here. Things you could never dream of! 769 01:20:48,129 --> 01:20:49,649 Like what? 770 01:20:50,099 --> 01:20:52,299 Omelettes..? 771 01:20:55,839 --> 01:20:57,629 I've dreamt of omelettes. 772 01:20:58,399 --> 01:21:03,059 And I dream of omeletts quite a lot actually. They call me The Omelette-dreamer. 773 01:21:04,859 --> 01:21:11,779 Oh, hm.. okay then.. um.. unicorns? With AIDS? 774 01:21:18,359 --> 01:21:20,849 -Have you dreamt of those? -No. 775 01:21:21,529 --> 01:21:23,059 Hahaa! 776 01:21:27,639 --> 01:21:30,729 Look deep into the parka, my friend. 777 01:21:30,779 --> 01:21:37,029 Delve deep into the parka, for whatever you dream of will become yours. 778 01:21:43,909 --> 01:21:50,229 Aaaah not that you idiot! That's my fucking eye! What are you doin'?! 779 01:21:50,289 --> 01:21:52,879 -Sorry.. -Ooh anything but that! 780 01:21:53,369 --> 01:21:55,929 -Oooh Christ! -I'm really sorry. 781 01:21:56,009 --> 01:21:58,949 Ooh, don't just put it in loose! 782 01:22:02,109 --> 01:22:06,159 Look at me! I'm like.. Swingball. 783 01:22:18,459 --> 01:22:21,779 -Enough! Enough Swingball! -Sorry. 784 01:22:23,249 --> 01:22:25,849 Sorry - there you go, I'll just.. it's in your pocket, look. 785 01:22:27,389 --> 01:22:29,649 Oh that's where that pen went. 786 01:22:34,109 --> 01:22:41,058 Now, look deep into the parka the second time. The good stuff's laid out at the front. 787 01:22:41,388 --> 01:22:43,628 Delve in there. 788 01:22:45,308 --> 01:22:46,928 Other side. 789 01:22:52,318 --> 01:22:55,688 -What's this? -Telegram. 790 01:22:56,208 --> 01:23:02,238 Oh, thanks. Well, don't go! I'm just gonna put the kettle on. Stick around and have a cuppa tea and a chat.. 791 01:23:02,818 --> 01:23:04,788 No thanks. 792 01:23:05,068 --> 01:23:06,618 Why? Where are you going? 793 01:23:07,578 --> 01:23:09,458 Opticians. 794 01:23:18,008 --> 01:23:24,258 Well, if my hunch is correct, this telegram should lead me directly to the Ruby of Kukundu. 795 01:23:24,618 --> 01:23:29,358 Dear Howard, thank you for the picture of your cock and balls.. 796 01:23:35,868 --> 01:23:37,588 I never sent that! 797 01:23:41,178 --> 01:23:49,898 Howard Moon's journal - day thirty-eight. Must I end my life in this wilderness of ice and snow, oh woe.. 798 01:23:50,048 --> 01:23:56,368 ~ All the things I'll never be All the things I'll never see ~ 799 01:23:56,498 --> 01:24:02,468 ~ All there is that's left for me Is here in this eternity ~ 800 01:24:02,848 --> 01:24:15,518 ~ Of isolation, isolation, isolation, isolation. ~ 801 01:24:16,038 --> 01:24:22,728 ~ The cavalcade, the jamboree Of life I thought was meant for me ~ 802 01:24:22,858 --> 01:24:28,668 ~ I never dreamed that it would be Replaced by this eternity ~ 803 01:24:28,968 --> 01:24:35,198 ~ Of isolation, isolation. ~ 804 01:24:35,598 --> 01:24:41,608 ~ All the things I'll never be All the things I'll never see ~ 805 01:24:41,968 --> 01:24:44,898 ~ All there is that's left for me ~ 806 01:24:45,228 --> 01:24:55,938 ~ Is here in this eternity of isolation, isolation! ~ 807 01:25:12,337 --> 01:25:16,927 Reasonably priced in the foyer. 808 01:25:19,187 --> 01:25:22,457 Yes, meanwhile in Spain. 809 01:25:35,057 --> 01:25:39,657 Hey, you guys, it's brilliant! I'm lovin' it here in Spain! 810 01:25:40,007 --> 01:25:43,047 Hey, have any of you heard of The Ruby of Kukundu? 811 01:26:21,597 --> 01:26:24,017 Sorry about that.. 812 01:26:32,127 --> 01:26:34,367 You did a bad thing! 813 01:26:34,787 --> 01:26:38,367 You're fuckin' dead after the show! 814 01:26:39,647 --> 01:26:42,967 At least I am protected by the script. 815 01:26:44,027 --> 01:26:50,227 Oh yeah, the irony - the man protected by something he's never been in contact with. 816 01:26:51,107 --> 01:26:55,197 Yeah, it's good, isn't it? 817 01:26:56,837 --> 01:26:58,817 What are you laughing at? 818 01:26:58,837 --> 01:27:00,187 Listen... 819 01:27:01,497 --> 01:27:05,187 It's the first time he has laughed from this whole tour! 820 01:27:06,167 --> 01:27:08,497 Don't laugh! Listen! 821 01:27:09,147 --> 01:27:14,527 I need to speak with you alone. Solid, Gas get out of here, right now! 822 01:27:15,557 --> 01:27:17,427 Bring your shitty quitar with you. 823 01:27:18,937 --> 01:27:20,687 I have some business to do. 824 01:27:23,106 --> 01:27:27,306 -You did a very bad thing! -I did a bad thing?! 825 01:27:27,336 --> 01:27:28,296 Yes! 826 01:27:29,006 --> 01:27:31,026 You nearly broke my nose! 827 01:27:32,766 --> 01:27:37,926 I ate a bowl of yeast before the show, so.. Sorry about that. 828 01:27:40,886 --> 01:27:45,496 It's something I do, I'm on a.. Atkins diet.. 829 01:27:47,896 --> 01:27:49,496 Listen - ... 830 01:27:52,146 --> 01:27:55,016 -You mentioned The Ruby of Kukundu. -Yeah, so what? 831 01:27:55,256 --> 01:28:00,996 Many men have mentioned this ruby and many men have been dyed! 832 01:28:02,006 --> 01:28:04,416 Oh really? What colour? 833 01:28:06,686 --> 01:28:11,816 I am slightly retarded. I'm on the fence either way. 834 01:28:12,636 --> 01:28:15,246 What - the retarded fence? 835 01:28:15,296 --> 01:28:16,596 Yeah, you know.. 836 01:28:16,896 --> 01:28:20,006 -Aaah what are you doin'? -I know a man.. 837 01:28:20,026 --> 01:28:22,406 -I know a... -Get out of my hat-space! 838 01:28:22,766 --> 01:28:25,796 -I know, these are fuckin' big hats! -What's wrong with you? 839 01:28:26,316 --> 01:28:28,446 It's like doing a scene with a chimp! 840 01:28:32,396 --> 01:28:35,796 -It's just a figure of speech, Bollo. -Ah, okay. 841 01:28:36,506 --> 01:28:37,616 Adios. 842 01:28:39,506 --> 01:28:41,176 -I know of a guy over there.. -Aaah.. 843 01:28:41,216 --> 01:28:44,526 -Look, talk to me and then we'll face out together. -Okay. 844 01:28:44,666 --> 01:28:48,236 I know of a guy.. ..over there. 845 01:28:49,356 --> 01:28:51,736 Who can tell you, where the Ruby is. 846 01:28:51,766 --> 01:28:54,446 He lives in the Forest of Doom. 847 01:28:55,486 --> 01:28:57,606 The Foyer of Doom? 848 01:28:57,796 --> 01:29:01,976 Yes. Just past the Mountain of Merchandise. 849 01:29:03,066 --> 01:29:04,866 -He can tell you where the Ruby is. -Cool. 850 01:29:04,886 --> 01:29:08,816 Okay, excellent and what's he gonna do? Piss on my face? 851 01:29:10,026 --> 01:29:14,846 Don't be silly - I am not playing that character. 852 01:29:18,166 --> 01:29:21,176 -Okay, bye. -Okay, good luck my friend. 853 01:29:21,206 --> 01:29:23,666 -Yeah, seeya. -Goodbye. 854 01:29:24,526 --> 01:29:26,126 Get off. 855 01:29:26,776 --> 01:29:28,886 -But do not tell anyone. -What? 856 01:29:28,956 --> 01:29:31,956 -Do not tell anyone I told you about this. -Okay. 857 01:29:32,166 --> 01:29:35,226 Or surely I will be killed by murder. 858 01:29:37,026 --> 01:29:39,236 -Okay. -Okay, goodbye. -Okay seeya. 859 01:29:41,326 --> 01:29:44,555 So this wiseman, yeah? He's over by the Forest of Doom? 860 01:29:45,095 --> 01:29:46,925 Aaa you silly bitch! 861 01:29:48,055 --> 01:29:49,355 I forgot:) 862 01:29:49,655 --> 01:29:55,655 And so Vince Noir set off on his terrifying journey towards the Forest of Doom. 863 01:29:56,725 --> 01:30:00,795 Utilizing basic mime technique. He walked. 864 01:30:01,835 --> 01:30:04,885 And then he moonwalked for a bit. 865 01:30:08,735 --> 01:30:11,785 I've got the wrong shoes on, shut up! 866 01:30:13,075 --> 01:30:14,965 Yes, that was pretty bad. 867 01:30:16,455 --> 01:30:19,565 Rubber on rubber - it was never gonna work. 868 01:30:19,685 --> 01:30:22,845 Don't try and body-pop your way out of it. 869 01:30:24,505 --> 01:30:32,485 Onwards he walked mile after mile, mile after terrifying mile towards the Forest of Doom. 870 01:30:32,505 --> 01:30:38,215 Mile after mile... you're going the wrong way. The sign.. yes. 871 01:30:38,245 --> 01:30:41,235 You've got his sign you prick! 872 01:30:41,255 --> 01:30:47,855 Onwards, ever onwards, he encountered a terrifying hurricane. 873 01:30:53,125 --> 01:30:54,565 Oh dear.. 874 01:31:00,875 --> 01:31:04,675 The hurricane messed up Vince's neatly arranged coiffure. 875 01:31:04,725 --> 01:31:06,155 -I don't think it did. -Yes, it did. 876 01:31:06,175 --> 01:31:08,225 It didn't! It's weird, but it didn't. Get off me! 877 01:31:08,255 --> 01:31:10,205 He told me to do it. 878 01:31:13,695 --> 01:31:16,165 I am the narrator - he does my bidding. 879 01:31:17,135 --> 01:31:30,585 After dealing with the hurricane/cagoule he carried on and eventually arrived at the fabled Forest of Doom! 880 01:31:33,605 --> 01:31:35,145 Theatre.. 881 01:32:13,684 --> 01:32:15,304 Who are you? 882 01:32:15,954 --> 01:32:18,184 I go by many names. 883 01:32:31,164 --> 01:32:33,264 Well what are they then? 884 01:32:33,634 --> 01:32:38,054 I'm getting around to that. I'm just leaving a mystical pause. 885 01:32:39,274 --> 01:32:47,894 Some call me.. Mystery Man. Others know me as the Shadow Dweller. 886 01:32:48,604 --> 01:32:51,654 Some call me Secret Peter. 887 01:32:53,254 --> 01:32:59,134 Where is he hiding? In a shoe, in a bush, in a rock, in a side cupboard, in a lane? 888 01:33:00,944 --> 01:33:03,454 No! He's inside yourself. 889 01:33:04,254 --> 01:33:16,364 Some call me Miraculous Mark - diviner of mysteries. Others call me Heeeeeeeeeeeeey.. 890 01:33:16,434 --> 01:33:18,274 ..Smith. 891 01:33:24,614 --> 01:33:33,204 Some call me Halaaaooooooo - . 892 01:33:37,684 --> 01:33:39,604 [hits drum] that's my surname. 893 01:33:39,614 --> 01:33:43,404 Others know me as Domino. 894 01:33:46,754 --> 01:33:48,914 The Bounty hunter. 895 01:33:49,374 --> 01:33:54,974 Some call me Chilli Chicken Ramen. Others know me as Clive. 896 01:33:56,864 --> 01:34:03,164 I'm sometimes called Peppercorn.. ..by the Dutch. 897 01:34:07,374 --> 01:34:15,034 You can step in at any point here, you know? Don't have to leave me dangling like a tit in a breeze. 898 01:34:20,334 --> 01:34:22,494 Go on, do one more. 899 01:34:23,004 --> 01:34:26,354 Some call me Cillit Bang. 900 01:34:31,843 --> 01:34:33,363 I go by many names! 901 01:34:36,163 --> 01:34:39,013 But you may call me Rudy. 902 01:34:43,913 --> 01:34:47,813 You are searching for something here in the forest, are you not little girl? 903 01:34:49,483 --> 01:34:51,693 Yeah, how do you know? 904 01:34:51,823 --> 01:34:54,803 -I know all things. -Are you a witch? 905 01:34:58,393 --> 01:34:59,783 Yes, I am. 906 01:35:01,493 --> 01:35:05,403 Take a seat. I shall explain to you a thing or two about the forest. 907 01:35:08,733 --> 01:35:10,893 There's no seats in the forest. 908 01:35:11,603 --> 01:35:15,073 Do not be afraid. I control the very forest itself. Behold! 909 01:35:15,193 --> 01:35:23,403 Khalamaloooooo, khalamalamaloooooo, khalamala-bring-a-chair, khalamalooooooh... 910 01:35:46,493 --> 01:35:49,013 Hm, the forest is a cheeky one tonight. 911 01:35:50,813 --> 01:35:52,813 The forest is a cunt tonight. 912 01:35:59,313 --> 01:36:04,063 Soo... Look, you're on mushrooms. 913 01:36:06,003 --> 01:36:09,243 Hey, where are thou from? 914 01:36:10,873 --> 01:36:13,203 You're looking pretty high yourself. 915 01:36:14,503 --> 01:36:17,693 I'm off my tits on dental cream. 916 01:36:19,773 --> 01:36:21,693 I don't know where I am. 917 01:36:22,533 --> 01:36:26,893 I appear to be in a psychedelic episode of Parkinson. 918 01:36:35,613 --> 01:36:42,103 So you've got a new book coming out, um... No, tell me about it. It's about gardening, yeah? 919 01:36:42,383 --> 01:36:45,463 Never mind that Parky, what's happened to your hair? 920 01:36:46,923 --> 01:36:48,873 I slept funny. 921 01:36:51,583 --> 01:36:55,742 You are searching for something here in the Forest of Doom, are you not? What is it you seek? 922 01:36:56,312 --> 01:36:59,282 Basically I'm looking for the Ruby of Kukundu. 923 01:37:07,182 --> 01:37:09,092 The Ruby of Kukundu? 924 01:37:21,242 --> 01:37:23,482 Yeah, the Ruby of Kukundu. 925 01:37:32,932 --> 01:37:34,252 The Ruby of Kukundu? 926 01:37:35,262 --> 01:37:38,872 No! Okay, it was fun, but now it's over. 927 01:37:40,192 --> 01:37:46,832 Yes I know the whereabouts of the Ruby of Kukundu, yay I know the whereabouts of the Ruby of Kuku.., yes I know. 928 01:37:48,362 --> 01:37:52,132 But I cannot just divulge the informations to whereabouts of the Ruby like this. 929 01:37:52,412 --> 01:37:55,462 I need to know that you're a kind of heart and worthy of the information. 930 01:37:55,552 --> 01:37:58,442 You must prove this to me by passing a test. 931 01:37:58,992 --> 01:38:00,672 Cool, what test? 932 01:38:01,452 --> 01:38:03,902 The cycling proficiency test. 933 01:38:09,872 --> 01:38:12,072 Know ye of this test? 934 01:38:12,152 --> 01:38:15,842 Yeah, I passed that ages ago, when I was at school. It was easy. 935 01:38:21,922 --> 01:38:23,542 Ain't you something! 936 01:38:24,672 --> 01:38:27,302 Ain't you a little piece of something else. 937 01:38:28,172 --> 01:38:30,792 Ain't you a little stinking piece of something. 938 01:38:31,472 --> 01:38:36,812 Well then, if thou art such a cockian, perhaps another test is in order for thou. 939 01:38:40,872 --> 01:38:44,372 -Yeah? -Perhaps thou would be less cocky when faced.. 940 01:38:44,572 --> 01:38:46,792 ..with the Black Rider! 941 01:38:48,392 --> 01:38:54,892 The most dangerous gun-fighter in the forest, who you must fight - tonight at midnight! 942 01:39:06,022 --> 01:39:08,392 Yeah, Rudy it's one o'clock. 943 01:39:10,702 --> 01:39:14,882 I'm not spending another eleven hours with you and your speech impediment. 944 01:39:15,651 --> 01:39:17,941 See if I can hurry this along a little bit. 945 01:39:17,971 --> 01:39:19,481 Excuse me. 946 01:39:33,731 --> 01:39:35,821 It's my scat-phone. 947 01:39:40,631 --> 01:39:42,081 Hello, Black Riders. 948 01:39:42,131 --> 01:39:46,491 Hello, um.. I've ordered a Black Rider for midnight, I might need something a little bit earlier. 949 01:39:46,561 --> 01:39:47,981 I just wondered if you had anything in the area. 950 01:39:48,301 --> 01:39:51,991 -Where are you mate? -The Forest of Doom. 951 01:39:52,381 --> 01:39:55,121 -Where mate? -Brixton. 952 01:39:57,421 --> 01:39:59,881 Alright, he should be with you in a few moments. 953 01:40:00,041 --> 01:40:05,451 -Okay, thanks, um.. I just wondered.. how much was that going to be? - It's gonna be about twelve, thirteen quid mate. 954 01:40:06,131 --> 01:40:11,831 -Ouch.. Okay thanks a lot, you've been very kind, thank you. -Fuck off. 955 01:40:13,621 --> 01:40:17,271 Prepare thyself! The Black Rider approaches. 956 01:41:51,380 --> 01:41:57,810 You have passed the test! And now it is time for you to recieve the Ruby of Kukundu. 957 01:42:03,560 --> 01:42:09,230 Take the Ruby and do with it what you will, pretty prince-girl. 958 01:42:12,300 --> 01:42:15,820 Yeah, Rudy - this is a Kinderegg. 959 01:42:16,880 --> 01:42:20,880 Kinderegg? What is Kinderegg? 960 01:42:21,600 --> 01:42:24,550 It's kind of a chocolatey treat with a toy inside. 961 01:42:25,800 --> 01:42:32,830 Oh.. I'm sorry I thought it was a Ruby, I can only apologize and wish you luck with your quest. 962 01:42:37,190 --> 01:42:38,950 Shut your mouth. 963 01:42:40,020 --> 01:42:43,830 Or I shall fly at you like a bag of cocks! 964 01:42:50,850 --> 01:42:54,360 And you'll receive him like a satchel of vaginas! 965 01:43:00,150 --> 01:43:02,460 Tag team put downs. 966 01:43:05,800 --> 01:43:07,330 What is a Kinderegg? 967 01:43:10,120 --> 01:43:14,240 It's basically - it's like a chocolatey treat, but you get like a toy inside, yeah? 968 01:43:14,330 --> 01:43:17,690 So they are amazing, sometimes you get to build like a hovercraft, yeah? 969 01:43:18,440 --> 01:43:20,500 A hover - what is a hovercraft? 970 01:43:21,400 --> 01:43:29,120 I haven't got time to explain, other times you get like a porcelain alligator playing golf - that's not quite as good, but they're pretty spot on. 971 01:43:29,880 --> 01:43:35,020 -Hm.. sounds intriguing. -Yeah, you might as well have that, if you've never had one. 972 01:43:35,040 --> 01:43:36,790 -For me? -Yeah! Take it. 973 01:43:36,940 --> 01:43:38,470 Thank you. 974 01:43:38,850 --> 01:43:43,350 No worries, take care Rudy, thanks for your help, bye. 975 01:43:45,350 --> 01:43:46,620 Wait! 976 01:43:51,720 --> 01:43:54,150 You have passed the test. 977 01:43:55,730 --> 01:43:58,430 -What test? -The Kinder-test. 978 01:43:59,630 --> 01:44:02,359 Most men would have eaten the Kinderegg. 979 01:44:04,949 --> 01:44:07,789 -Wolf it down quick as a bee. -Yeah? 980 01:44:07,979 --> 01:44:13,019 But you - knowing I had never tasted its chocolatey fruit - offered it to me. 981 01:44:14,339 --> 01:44:16,489 Because you are kind of heart. 982 01:44:16,789 --> 01:44:21,039 Thus I can tell you the whereabouts of the Ruby of Kukundu. 983 01:44:21,279 --> 01:44:24,039 It is far far away my friend... 984 01:44:24,369 --> 01:44:29,189 Fa.. this way - far away - in the Arctic tundra. 985 01:44:30,289 --> 01:44:33,289 You're in the wrong place sunny Jim lad. 986 01:44:35,249 --> 01:44:41,769 Excellent I.. that's brilliant - I'll go there right now. Thanks Rudy, I don't know what to say, you've been brilliant! 987 01:44:41,809 --> 01:44:46,069 Don't say anything, simply caress my balls. 988 01:44:48,279 --> 01:44:49,759 I'm not doin' that. 989 01:44:50,769 --> 01:44:52,569 You have passed the test! 990 01:44:55,259 --> 01:44:57,899 -What test? -The ball-test. 991 01:45:00,299 --> 01:45:01,809 The ball-test?! 992 01:45:01,969 --> 01:45:05,069 -Yes, most men would have caressed my balls.. -Seeya.. 993 01:45:05,179 --> 01:45:06,539 Bye bye. 994 01:45:20,909 --> 01:45:24,879 Sorry. Oh I did a burp. 995 01:45:25,059 --> 01:45:29,549 When the Moon burps, Jupiter looks on disgusted. 996 01:45:30,339 --> 01:45:37,309 I like Jupiter and I like Mars, but Pluto - he don't talk to me. 997 01:45:38,049 --> 01:45:41,549 He pretends I'm not there. Hello Pluto..? 998 01:45:41,999 --> 01:45:44,989 Nothing, just carries on with what he's doing. 999 01:45:46,539 --> 01:45:48,549 I don't know why he don't like me.. 1000 01:45:49,869 --> 01:45:53,839 Saturn is crazy, he's fuckin' crazy. 1001 01:45:55,139 --> 01:45:59,659 He drinks all the time, he comes in he's all pissed. 1002 01:46:00,609 --> 01:46:05,899 And he's a good cook, but he's too drunk, he sets fire to his fish fingers. 1003 01:46:06,909 --> 01:46:12,769 One time I went out with him and he was funny. 1004 01:46:40,538 --> 01:46:43,918 This dog's not doing as much work as this one. 1005 01:46:44,808 --> 01:46:46,188 What are you doin'? 1006 01:46:46,858 --> 01:46:50,568 This must be Howard's tent. He's left me a little note. Let's have a look. 1007 01:46:50,838 --> 01:46:52,798 -I, Howard Moon.. -I haven't opened it yet! 1008 01:46:53,208 --> 01:46:56,648 ..have decided to head to North in my quest to find the Ruby of Kukundu.. 1009 01:46:56,708 --> 01:47:00,408 -There's nothing on this. -If you find this note, then heed my advice. 1010 01:47:01,018 --> 01:47:07,968 The Artcic is a dangerous place, there are strange creatures here. I have heard their calls in the night. 1011 01:47:08,928 --> 01:47:15,908 So be on your guard and what ever you do, never fall asleep. 1012 01:49:02,807 --> 01:49:04,507 Aaah fuck! 1013 01:49:07,047 --> 01:49:10,757 I thought we were getting on quite well, what about a phone number? 1014 01:49:11,077 --> 01:49:12,627 Do some work. 1015 01:49:59,017 --> 01:50:01,367 Pretty fuckin' good our sound man! 1016 01:50:09,017 --> 01:50:11,747 Better not fall asleep this time. 1017 01:50:19,057 --> 01:50:20,827 I'll come on again. 1018 01:50:32,777 --> 01:50:34,717 Vince? Vince? Vince! 1019 01:50:34,797 --> 01:50:38,887 Oh, Yetti, I knew you'd return. Oh sorry I thought you were someone else. 1020 01:50:39,277 --> 01:50:41,317 Hey Howard, howyerdoin'? Are you llright? 1021 01:50:41,727 --> 01:50:44,187 -Yeah, I'm good, thanks. -Yeah? Come on, let's get out of here. 1022 01:50:44,197 --> 01:50:45,787 -No, I'm not leaving this place. -Hm..? 1023 01:50:46,437 --> 01:50:48,237 -I'll never leave this place Vince. -What do you mean? 1024 01:50:48,317 --> 01:50:54,237 I'm on a mission, I shall never leave this place until I have found the Ruby of Kukundu. 1025 01:50:54,817 --> 01:50:58,277 Never would I leave this sacred place until I have found that Ruby! 1026 01:50:58,737 --> 01:51:00,907 -Yeah - is that it? 1027 01:51:02,697 --> 01:51:03,807 Yep. 1028 01:51:05,297 --> 01:51:07,037 -Shall we go then? -Yeah, alright. 1029 01:51:07,057 --> 01:51:08,146 Okay. 1030 01:51:21,696 --> 01:51:31,566 And so Vince Noir - he went to Topshop and uh.. Howard he took the Ruby and he gave it to Bollo. 1031 01:51:33,376 --> 01:51:40,916 I think that's what was happening I don't know, I weren't watching. I was havin' a wank. 1032 01:51:53,346 --> 01:52:03,016 And now it is time - shut up - to bring a shaman back to life. 1033 01:52:16,606 --> 01:52:23,556 Not so fast, monkeyman! Hand over that Ruby, boy, looks like it could be worth a few euros to me. 1034 01:52:24,426 --> 01:52:30,886 -No. For I need it to bring little Naboo back to life. -Oh really? 1035 01:52:32,646 --> 01:52:34,366 -Yeah. -Oh really? 1036 01:52:34,416 --> 01:52:36,126 -Yeah! -That's what you're gonna do, is it? 1037 01:52:36,186 --> 01:52:39,576 Yeah! Huh... 1038 01:52:43,836 --> 01:52:45,586 Nooo... 1039 01:52:48,766 --> 01:52:56,266 Nooo - nooooo.... aaaaaa..... 1040 01:53:01,466 --> 01:53:08,656 Look Peter! Look at my acting Peter! Look at I can do Peter, look! 1041 01:53:08,746 --> 01:53:14,016 Nooo... no.. now! 1042 01:53:18,366 --> 01:53:19,486 Fuck! 1043 01:53:26,846 --> 01:53:29,806 Peter, did I get the part Peter? 1044 01:53:30,066 --> 01:53:34,875 Of course you fuckin' didn't get the part, mate. It's already been and gone at the cinema ain't it?! 1045 01:53:34,885 --> 01:53:37,555 -What?! -It's on DVD you berk! 1046 01:53:39,475 --> 01:53:40,585 Yeah! 1047 01:53:41,375 --> 01:53:44,155 Yeah, right in the face! 1048 01:53:45,445 --> 01:53:48,055 No open coffin for Bollo! 1049 01:53:48,075 --> 01:53:52,025 Aaaa you've killed my friend and former lover! 1050 01:53:55,185 --> 01:53:59,065 If that ain't the geezer who likes to spit in other people's faces! 1051 01:53:59,935 --> 01:54:04,125 Ooh, oooh, oooh m'nuts! 1052 01:54:08,405 --> 01:54:17,125 Bye everybody, oh uh Bollo, oh Bollo. Bollo, Bollo, Bollo.. 1053 01:54:18,595 --> 01:54:21,595 What is the matter with you?! 1054 01:54:21,695 --> 01:54:24,265 I told you it was a summer fling! 1055 01:54:26,915 --> 01:54:30,125 I'm deeaad, I'm deeaad, I'm deeaad... 1056 01:54:33,005 --> 01:54:34,835 I wish you were, pal. 1057 01:54:36,445 --> 01:54:41,875 Well there you have it Brixton! That's the end of the show, everyone's fuckin' dead! 1058 01:54:42,915 --> 01:54:48,705 Naboo - the so-called enigma - dead as a doormat. 1059 01:54:51,825 --> 01:54:57,045 Yeah, whatever. Bollo - the fuckin' hammy ape - dead also. 1060 01:54:57,075 --> 01:55:03,315 The geezer in the light blue outfit - I don't even know his fuckin' name, the septic tank - he's dead as well! 1061 01:55:03,865 --> 01:55:06,905 Alright that's it, everyone's dead - I know what you're thinking Brixton. 1062 01:55:07,465 --> 01:55:13,035 I know what you're thinkin' I know how you fuckers think, you're thinking where's the geezer who likes jazz, 1063 01:55:13,145 --> 01:55:16,675 where's the geezer with the moustache, he'll save the day. 1064 01:55:18,635 --> 01:55:22,115 Yeah? Well will he really? 1065 01:55:25,845 --> 01:55:31,105 I saw him backstage farting about with a trumpet sock. 1066 01:55:32,735 --> 01:55:37,055 A trumpet sock, you idiot? So I cut his fuckin' head off. 1067 01:55:37,855 --> 01:55:42,425 I know what else you're thinking, where's the geezer who looks like a bird, he'll save the day. 1068 01:55:42,555 --> 01:55:48,975 The one who dresses like a lady! No he won't! He's here. I found him in Topshop. 1069 01:55:50,985 --> 01:55:59,144 I found him in Topshop with six items in a cubical! Six items? You're only allowed four, you slag! 1070 01:55:59,184 --> 01:56:01,894 What do you think are the fuckin' sign's for? 1071 01:56:02,504 --> 01:56:07,834 So I chopped his head off and I fucked his stump! 1072 01:56:11,814 --> 01:56:17,324 That's right ladys and gentlemen, I'm a stump-fucker! 1073 01:56:18,804 --> 01:56:23,834 Welcome to the concept of stump-fucking! 1074 01:56:24,864 --> 01:56:27,164 The double-stump-fuck. 1075 01:56:27,884 --> 01:56:30,254 If there are any little'uns in tonight.. 1076 01:56:30,384 --> 01:56:35,624 ..I just wanna say it's S T U M P ! Stump-fuckin'! 1077 01:56:36,024 --> 01:56:40,324 Get it right when you tell your mates in the playground tomorrow! 1078 01:56:45,474 --> 01:56:51,454 Stump-fucking - a concept we couldn't quite get past BBC3. 1079 01:56:56,974 --> 01:57:00,694 We wanted to call our show The Mighty Stump-fuckers! 1080 01:57:01,484 --> 01:57:06,194 And they said: 'If you do that, you'll have to go on a little bit later.' 1081 01:57:06,394 --> 01:57:10,824 And we said: 'Is that physically fuckin' possible?' 1082 01:57:14,554 --> 01:57:22,124 We'll go on when we always go on! After two pints of fuckin' lager and packet of crisps! 1083 01:57:27,434 --> 01:57:29,594 That's the end of the show! 1084 01:57:29,654 --> 01:57:33,854 -Now all fuck off!! -Not so fast! -What? 1085 01:57:41,794 --> 01:57:43,424 -Yes! -Christ! 1086 01:57:43,944 --> 01:57:46,254 Ooh check me out! 1087 01:57:49,214 --> 01:57:51,844 I've got you surrounded, sir! 1088 01:57:53,624 --> 01:57:56,774 Jesus! It's like Woodstock meets Tour de France! 1089 01:58:13,734 --> 01:58:17,893 -Who are you? -I go by many names. 1090 01:58:18,853 --> 01:58:22,153 Yeah, I heard all this shit backstage, move it along, would you, pal? 1091 01:58:23,663 --> 01:58:25,353 Hush your lips. 1092 01:58:26,323 --> 01:58:28,493 Or I shall slice them off. 1093 01:58:29,283 --> 01:58:34,053 Place them upon your mother.. ..and kiss her. 1094 01:58:40,753 --> 01:58:42,673 Oh yes, squire, what with? 1095 01:58:43,103 --> 01:58:44,883 With cold steel! 1096 01:58:49,703 --> 01:58:55,883 Well maybe I'll tear your nose off at the root and flick it up the vicars anus! 1097 01:58:57,013 --> 01:58:58,743 With cold steel, mind? 1098 01:59:02,123 --> 01:59:04,893 I'm fuckin' warning you Flipper! 1099 01:59:12,743 --> 01:59:14,453 On guard. 1100 01:59:25,193 --> 01:59:30,803 Crikey! Ooh, I tore all the skin under my armpit! Oooh help me boy, help me! 1101 01:59:30,903 --> 01:59:33,113 -We'll have to call the whole fight off. -Are you okay? 1102 01:59:33,183 --> 01:59:34,593 Ooh I've done something wrong.. 1103 01:59:34,663 --> 01:59:36,913 -Can I help you? -I'm bleeding inside, help me boy - help me. 1104 01:59:44,273 --> 01:59:46,083 You fight well. 1105 01:59:47,483 --> 01:59:49,853 For a Jimmy Savile impersonater. 1106 01:59:58,303 --> 02:00:03,393 Shut up or I'll fix it for you. And you, and you, and you! 1107 02:00:05,463 --> 02:00:09,823 You fight well yourself mate, for a geezer in a purple dress. 1108 02:00:14,023 --> 02:00:15,833 This is not a dress. 1109 02:00:16,843 --> 02:00:22,823 This is the sacred robe of the psychedelic monks. So I think the joke's on you. 1110 02:00:26,643 --> 02:00:29,533 Well it goes nicely with your little bicycle. 1111 02:00:29,893 --> 02:00:30,993 Oh really? 1112 02:00:53,102 --> 02:00:54,782 Now then, now then! 1113 02:00:56,952 --> 02:01:00,192 I think you'll find Jimmy can still move when he needs to. 1114 02:01:00,852 --> 02:01:03,852 -You can never win, you know? -Oh yeah, pal, why is that? 1115 02:01:04,652 --> 02:01:07,232 Because I taught you everything you know. 1116 02:01:09,052 --> 02:01:14,642 You might taught me everything I know, but you didn't teach me everything you know. 1117 02:01:20,872 --> 02:01:22,932 -You know.. I know.. oh fuck! -What does that mean? 1118 02:01:27,532 --> 02:01:30,702 Ooh take that you slag! Take that you nonce! 1119 02:01:31,212 --> 02:01:36,992 -Oooh Jesus! Oooh crikey! - Get off! No! Leave me alone! 1120 02:01:39,552 --> 02:01:42,752 -You're too strong for me! -Oh yeah, oh that's bad! 1121 02:01:43,072 --> 02:01:46,292 No! You're spoiling the illusion! 1122 02:01:48,822 --> 02:01:50,612 Take that! 1123 02:02:00,792 --> 02:02:02,582 How do we do it? 1124 02:02:03,872 --> 02:02:05,842 The magic of theatre. 1125 02:02:06,572 --> 02:02:10,412 -Let's end this, one way or the other, you slag. -Bring it on, Terry Nutkins. 1126 02:02:17,062 --> 02:02:24,422 Oooh Crikey oooh ooh look at me, me go faster stripe's come loose. 1127 02:02:24,572 --> 02:02:29,062 I'm only an old man, luckily I've still got one trick left up my Lambeth sleeve. 1128 02:02:32,632 --> 02:02:34,622 Cock punchin'! 1129 02:02:37,042 --> 02:02:39,442 Oooh my fiery biscuit! 1130 02:02:41,892 --> 02:02:46,362 When in doubt, ladies and gentlemen, release the middle digit! 1131 02:02:46,472 --> 02:02:50,962 The cockney cock-puncher! He punches one way, he punches the other, 1132 02:02:51,072 --> 02:02:56,792 he punches diagonal, he's like connect four in cock-punchin' terms. 1133 02:03:00,332 --> 02:03:04,531 Yeah, there's no one that can save you now Leo Sayer! 1134 02:03:06,681 --> 02:03:12,541 What? No! Christ! No! Oooh fuck! No! 1135 02:03:29,791 --> 02:03:35,141 Big leg! Here comes Big leg! He's got a big fuckin' leg! Big leg! 1136 02:03:41,271 --> 02:03:43,131 Thank you Big leg! 1137 02:03:49,821 --> 02:03:55,831 And now all it is left to do is bring the tiny shaman back to life. 1138 02:04:08,791 --> 02:04:12,571 Let the magic commence. 1139 02:04:26,801 --> 02:04:28,671 I'm alive! 1140 02:04:31,931 --> 02:04:36,501 So with the power of the Ruby brought Naboo back to life. 1141 02:04:37,791 --> 02:04:39,381 Restoring his powers. 1142 02:04:40,971 --> 02:04:46,871 He flew high into the night sky like a tiny blue Snoop dog. 1143 02:04:47,691 --> 02:04:53,381 Look at him move, look at him move, look at his mother-lovin' shaman grooves. 1144 02:04:54,291 --> 02:04:59,591 And what of Fossil and Bollo? He restored them back to life! 1145 02:05:01,201 --> 02:05:06,251 -Yeah! I'm alive! -The power of Ruby! Knew no bounds. 1146 02:05:07,921 --> 02:05:16,241 What about Vince and Howard? Are they dead forever? Of course they weren't! 1147 02:05:51,400 --> 02:05:56,530 Thank you Brixton! Good night! 1148 02:06:25,560 --> 02:06:26,760 Thank you! 1149 02:06:36,490 --> 02:06:38,970 Thank you Brixton, thank you! 1150 02:06:56,400 --> 02:06:57,990 Thanks a lot! 1151 02:07:07,650 --> 02:07:10,060 -Thank you! -Thank you Brixton! 1152 02:07:10,070 --> 02:07:12,820 -Top shelf! -Brixton rocks! 1153 02:07:45,620 --> 02:07:47,419 Oooh right in the eye! 1154 02:07:50,099 --> 02:07:52,649 -Hey, Vince.. -Brixton! 1155 02:07:53,809 --> 02:07:56,449 Oh yeah yeah yeah, cool. Hey, Bobby Bob Bob. 1156 02:07:58,559 --> 02:08:02,729 Three three three. Don't tell him, don't tell him, I can only get three... 1157 02:08:03,239 --> 02:08:05,619 -Where's Vince going? -Oh yeah, um.. Vince.. 1158 02:08:05,679 --> 02:08:08,529 -Where's he going? -To organise the after show party. 1159 02:08:08,859 --> 02:08:13,709 It's at this really cool club called Stumpy McFuckies. Yeah! 1160 02:08:15,009 --> 02:08:17,069 That sounds good, let's go. It sounds like fun fun fun. 1161 02:08:17,249 --> 02:08:20,089 -Fun fun fun. -Hey there's one thing uh.. 1162 02:08:20,489 --> 02:08:22,749 There's only room for three on the guestlist.. 1163 02:08:23,109 --> 02:08:24,699 One, two, three. 1164 02:08:26,859 --> 02:08:28,079 See ya around. 1165 02:08:29,259 --> 02:08:33,099 Hey listen, maybe I'll see you like.. never! 1166 02:09:21,309 --> 02:09:24,479 Howard Moon alone again.. 1167 02:09:32,119 --> 02:09:34,819 Not that lonely. 1168 02:09:40,099 --> 02:09:43,649 Because you're never quite alone. 1169 02:09:44,819 --> 02:09:49,219 Not when old mister Moon's shining doon. 1170 02:09:50,649 --> 02:09:56,459 Actually uhm.. sorry Howard, I don't think I can hang out with you. 1171 02:09:56,509 --> 02:09:57,549 Why? 1172 02:09:57,859 --> 02:10:03,429 Well.. to be honest - you're a ball bag. 1173 02:10:05,409 --> 02:10:09,468 I'm the Moon - I don't hang out with ball bags. 1174 02:10:56,668 --> 02:11:01,278 -Okay, um... do you want me to..? -Do you wanna sign for this? 1175 02:11:01,288 --> 02:11:04,008 -Yeah, do you have a pen? -I don't have a pen, no. 1176 02:11:04,108 --> 02:11:06,848 Right, don't worry about that. 1177 02:11:09,208 --> 02:11:15,828 -That's very good. I like that. -So, okay well.. I don't know what you're doing later, but um... 1178 02:11:16,148 --> 02:11:23,798 You mean I'm.. I'm sort of free later on, my diary's freed up somewhat this evening so.. 1179 02:11:23,888 --> 02:11:28,878 If you.. I don't think.. We've had some bad dealings in the past, but if you want to sort of go for a meal and to resolve some difficulties.. 1180 02:11:29,258 --> 02:11:33,818 -I could.. -A meal? With you? 1181 02:11:35,048 --> 02:11:37,618 -With Howard Moon? -Oh yeah, why not? 1182 02:11:38,068 --> 02:11:45,318 You know, something I once saw a man like you in Burma, I saw him hang, I helped him hang. 1183 02:11:46,558 --> 02:11:48,508 I can do the same for you. 1184 02:11:49,538 --> 02:11:52,178 -So is that a NO then? -That's a big NO, my friend. 1185 02:11:55,358 --> 02:12:01,718 But uh... If you're free about half past ten make sure you wear the red pants, n'est ce pas? Adios! 1186 02:12:02,618 --> 02:12:05,438 Thanking you, good night! 1187 02:12:11,698 --> 02:12:13,178 Oh well.. 1188 02:12:14,018 --> 02:12:17,708 A delivery for me, maybe there's someone, who loves me after all. 1189 02:12:21,938 --> 02:12:27,588 I'm Old Gregg motherfuckeeer! I'm Old Gregg. 1190 02:12:28,188 --> 02:12:31,557 Yeah, yeah I'm Old Gregg. 1191 02:12:33,947 --> 02:12:37,787 Hey Brixton! I'm Old Gregg! 1192 02:12:41,337 --> 02:12:44,897 Ooh.. I'm drunk on Baileys. 1193 02:12:46,127 --> 02:12:50,837 I had a shoe full of Baileys and I'm drunk as a bitch. 1194 02:12:51,937 --> 02:12:54,617 I've got a mangina. 1195 02:12:56,647 --> 02:13:02,267 Yeah yeah, when I get it out, light comes from in it, makes you feel tingly. 1196 02:13:02,887 --> 02:13:04,387 I'm Old Gregg! 1197 02:13:08,067 --> 02:13:10,087 -Hey Howard. -Oh shit.. 1198 02:13:11,367 --> 02:13:13,927 Hey Gregg, how the hell are you? 1199 02:13:14,857 --> 02:13:17,207 Good to see you, um.. how did you find me, Gregg? 1200 02:13:17,337 --> 02:13:23,677 Ooh oh I saw your poster, I saw your tiny little Patrick Swayze eyes. 1201 02:13:26,057 --> 02:13:29,907 You've got those crazy Swayze eyes, and I knew I had to come and find ya, 1202 02:13:29,907 --> 02:13:34,477 so I was gon... trying to do a surprise, for the DVD I tried to make, 1203 02:13:34,667 --> 02:13:39,207 I came in a, presented myself to ya in a cube. 1204 02:13:42,047 --> 02:13:43,457 -I'm Old Gregg! -Yeah.. 1205 02:13:45,077 --> 02:13:47,117 Yes, we're all aware of your name. 1206 02:13:47,487 --> 02:13:53,837 -Uhm.. you've told me about eighty-thousand times look Gregg.. -Do you love me? 1207 02:13:59,857 --> 02:14:02,617 Greggory.. Greggory we had a time... 1208 02:14:03,877 --> 02:14:08,787 -Well it was more of a rape, but it was a.. it took place.. -We had a time. 1209 02:14:08,957 --> 02:14:10,557 -We had a time.. -We had a time. 1210 02:14:10,657 --> 02:14:12,557 The time finished, then we went out separate ways. 1211 02:14:12,627 --> 02:14:15,667 Now you've gone your way, I've gone my way and that's the way it's gonna be, Gregg. 1212 02:14:16,457 --> 02:14:17,677 What do you mean? 1213 02:14:17,747 --> 02:14:19,237 -What I mean to say is.. -You love Greggory? 1214 02:14:20,037 --> 02:14:22,897 No, no Gregg, that's what I'm saying - it's over between us, over. 1215 02:14:22,957 --> 02:14:25,097 -You must love Greggory! -I don't love Greggory. 1216 02:14:25,137 --> 02:14:28,737 You must love me exactly as I love you, Howard. 1217 02:14:29,297 --> 02:14:34,467 Cos if your eyes don't love my eyes, I'm gonna suck'em out with a powerful hoover. 1218 02:14:35,197 --> 02:14:37,837 And tuck'em up my downstairs mix-up. 1219 02:14:41,257 --> 02:14:42,337 Yeah... 1220 02:14:43,627 --> 02:14:47,847 -Maybe I was being a bit hasty there, Gregg. I.. you know, cos.. -Hasty? 1221 02:14:47,857 --> 02:14:51,427 Yeah, you know, sometimes when you do love someone, you pretend not to, 1222 02:14:51,467 --> 02:14:55,926 it's kind of way of not being too eager, you know I didn't wanna.. I was playing a game with you, Gregg. 1223 02:14:56,006 --> 02:14:57,966 Playing a game? 1224 02:15:01,296 --> 02:15:03,886 -Playing game with Old Greggory? -Yeah, that's right. 1225 02:15:04,226 --> 02:15:06,686 Playin' motherfuckin' love game? 1226 02:15:09,396 --> 02:15:10,486 Yeah, come on! 1227 02:15:14,406 --> 02:15:18,856 ~ Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me? ~ 1228 02:15:19,286 --> 02:15:22,526 ~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot. ~ 1229 02:15:22,606 --> 02:15:27,236 ~ Come on! Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me? ~ 1230 02:15:27,826 --> 02:15:31,836 ~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot. Come on now! ~ 1231 02:15:32,116 --> 02:15:36,186 ~ Moving too fast, this isn't a race, ooh. Baby back off and lower the pace now, ~ 1232 02:15:36,386 --> 02:15:40,706 ~ Slow it down, and give me some space, mmmh. Moving too fast, this isn't a race, ah ah! ~ 1233 02:15:48,846 --> 02:15:52,826 ~ Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me? ~ 1234 02:15:53,496 --> 02:15:57,106 ~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need your love a lot. Come on! ~ 1235 02:15:57,536 --> 02:16:01,596 ~ Moving too fast this isn't a race, mmm. Baby back off and lower the pace now. ~ 1236 02:16:01,966 --> 02:16:06,246 ~ Slow it down, and give me some space. Moving too fast this isn't a race, no no! ~ 1237 02:16:06,416 --> 02:16:08,586 ~ -I'm Old Gregg! -I know I think you said. ~ 1238 02:16:08,686 --> 02:16:12,486 ~ Come on don't make me beg now, 'cause I'm not your regular guy. ~ 1239 02:16:13,226 --> 02:16:15,536 ~ Don't be shy! Do you love me? ~ 1240 02:16:18,496 --> 02:16:19,526 ~ Do you love me? ~ 1241 02:16:22,916 --> 02:16:26,416 Greggorys! Come down here! 1242 02:16:27,176 --> 02:16:30,046 ~ Do you love me? ~ 1243 02:16:35,076 --> 02:16:38,176 Come on Brixton, get on your motherfuckin' feet.. Three, four! 1244 02:16:39,646 --> 02:16:49,836 ~ Do you love me? ~ 1245 02:16:56,866 --> 02:16:59,746 -Yeah, yeah. -Brixton! 1246 02:17:09,056 --> 02:17:10,546 Thank you! 1247 02:17:13,796 --> 02:17:16,666 Brixton, I've got one last surprise for you. 1248 02:17:18,515 --> 02:17:27,325 I did a stencil in my knickers. And now I'm gonna unleash my mangina! 1249 02:17:30,185 --> 02:17:32,555 -We love you Brixton! -Check it out! 1250 02:17:33,005 --> 02:17:34,525 -Good night! -Brixton! 1251 02:17:34,995 --> 02:17:36,085 My mangina. 1252 02:17:56,735 --> 02:17:59,785 I've finally got my hands into Howard Moon. 1253 02:18:01,175 --> 02:18:07,255 Yeah, yeah - Howard got a surprise for me, I don't know what it is. 1254 02:18:08,855 --> 02:18:11,775 It might be a shenis, yeah! 1255 02:18:16,015 --> 02:18:19,245 Come on you cheeky vixen, get in my wheelbarrow! 1256 02:18:20,625 --> 02:18:22,335 Don't mind if I do! 1257 02:18:23,925 --> 02:18:26,645 He's gotta mangina and I've got a shenis. 1258 02:18:28,025 --> 02:18:30,315 Let's make sweet love! 1259 02:18:31,315 --> 02:18:41,315 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org