Oh great and mighty Rapu.
We pray to you for water and sustenance.
I pray to you not for me,
but for my daughter.
I am tired.
You have suffered.
Come to me.
You have suffered.
Come to me.
You have suffered.
What do we have here?
Look at it.
It's gobbling up all my fruit.
Rapu.
Bringer of Light.
Oh it's one of mine.
I am Gorr,
the last of your disciples.
We have lost everything...
my lord.
The land is dry.
All life...
is lost.
But our faith in you...
never wavered and now we await...
the promise...
of the eternal reward.
Is this why you celebrate?
He thinks there is an eternal reward.
No. No sorry.
There is no eternal reward for you, dog!
What we are celebrating is a fresh kill.
We just vanquished the holder of the Necrosword...
before he could harm any other gods, You have suffered.
With that cursed blade. If it's revenge you seek.
He threatened to end my entire empire.
But my lord...
your empire has already ended.
There is no one left to worship you.
There will be more followers to replace you.
There always are.
We have suffered...
and we have starved.
My daughter died...
in your name. And well you should.
Suffering for your gods, is your only purpose.
There is nothing for you after death.
Except death.
You are no god.
I renounce you.
Now your meaningless life...
finally does have a purpose.
To sacrifice yourself to me.
If it's revenge you seek...
kill all the gods.
Go to Eternity.
If it's revenge you seek...
summon the Bifrost.
Go to Eternity.
Kill all the gods. Summon the Bifrost.
Go to Eternity.
Kill all the gods. Kill all the gods. Kill all the gods.
The sword chose you.
You are now cursed!
Funny.
It doesn't feel like a curse.
Feels like a promise.
So this is my vow.
All gods will die.
By LESAIGNEUR Sync & corrections September 2022
Come.
Come gather round.
And listen to the legend of the Space Viking.
AKA the God of Thunder.
AKA,
Thor Odinson.
Raised in the way of the warrior...
Thor was taught to help win battles...
fighting the good fight for those who can't fight good.
He grew and he grew and he grew.
He was sensitive like a smile.
And his loving nature did not discriminate.
He once loved a swashbuckling Passionista.
Another time he loved a Wolf Woman...
on a Woman Wolf.
But Thor is one true love,
was an Earth woman,
named Jane Fonda.
Oh wait, no.
Jane Foster.
But sadly,
in the battle for love,
Thor lost.
In fact, he lost a lot of people in those days.
His mum.
His dad.
And that guy.
And whoever that is.
And Heimdall.
And his brother.
And his brother again.
And again.
Poor Thor had to watch his planet explode.
And then he said.
What have I done?
It seemed that everything and everyone he loved, he lost.
And so he hid his heart behind a big fleshy bod,
so it could never be broken again.
But just because he was done loving didn't mean he was done fighting.
He teamed up with the Guardians of the Galaxy...
and set off on some classic Thor adventures.
He got in shape.
Putting in the hard yards.
Turning pains into gains and never skipping leg day.
He went from Dad Bod to God Bod.
But beneath his God Bod there was still a Sad Bod,
just trying to get out.
Because all of the bods that Thor had worn over the years...
could not hide the pain that he was feeling on the inside.
So he gave up his search for love...
accepting that he was only good for one thing...
Waiting in quiet contemplation for someone to say...
Thor, we need your help to win this battle.
Thor.
We need your help to win this battle.
Let's go.
Ok.
Come on Stormbreaker. Back to work.
We must hurry ok?
People are dying.
See you down there.
Hurry up!
Give me those.
You are gonna break them.
I am Groot!
You got sap all over it.
Hello everybody.
Well, well, look who it is.
How are we doing guys?
Terrible!
We are all about to die.
You said this planet would be a relaxing holiday.
I said it was going to be like a relaxing holiday.
But look at that resplendent skyscape.
Three suns of Saturn.
What could be more relaxing than that?
An actual holiday!
Die Booskan scum!
God of Thunder.
King Yakan.
You have finally joined our fight.
Well as they say, better late than not at all.
Yes it's very nice.
As you know we used to live in a peaceful oasis.
But then our gods were murdered.
Murdered?
And now our sacred temple has been left unguarded,
and Habooska's hordes took control of its power.
It is our most sacred shrine and he desecrates it.
Not for long.
King Yakan,
tell them what happened here today.
Tell of the time that Thor...
and his ragtag motley crew...
of misfit desperados...
turned the tide of the battle...
and etched their names in history.
For the odds may be against us but I will tell you this for free...
Here it comes.
This ends here and now!
He is not going to go into the temple is he? No.
Well done everybody.
We can collectively take credit for that because we worked as a team.
We used our hearts and our minds to defeat the enemy...
with minimal loss or damage.
What a classic Thor adventure!
Hurrah!
Good book?
Yeah.
I wrote it.
Wait. You are...
You are Dr. Jane Foster?
I am.
Hi. Hi.
How is the Einstein-Rosen Bridge?
It's tough.
Yeah. Really tough.
It's... You need a 3D model.
You ever see Event Horizon?
No.
Interstellar? No.
That movie explains everything really clearly.
Alright. The Einstein-Rosen Bridge...
folds space so that point A,
and point B...
coexist in space and time.
Like that.
You just ruined your own book.
Yeah but now you understand wormholes.
Watch those movies.
Ok. Ok.
Saw the Hot Cheetos had to get it.
So how is...
how is it going?
It's going amazing.
Have you...
told anyone else besides me?
When people find out they start acting weird. They are just...
different.
I don't need that in my life right now.
Anyway, it's not that serious.
Jane it's Stage Four.
Out of like, how many stages?
Four.
That we know about.
Oh you have...
somewhere else you got to be right now that's more important than chemo?
No.
You are trying to get back to the lab are not you?
I have a few ideas I am trying.
Ok. No, time out.
I know you think your lab work is something you have to do,
otherwise you are letting down all of civilization but...
you are not getting what the universe is actually trying to tell you so...
let me translate.
Slow...
down.
You need your energy to fight this thing.
I will fight it my way.
Ok?
Well FYI...
my way does not have to equal alone in a lab.
Maybe it's time to play the Space Viking card.
It's not a card.
Yes it is.
There is no card. There is a card.
It's tall, it's blond and it's gorgeous.
It's a handsome card.
Jane are you sure? Look Darcy...
I will figure this out,
by myself.
Results are still coming back the same.
I am afraid the chemo has very little effect.
I am so sorry Jane.
If there is anything I can do or if you just wanna talk call me.
Smell like a king,
because you are worthy.
Old Spice.
Cut!
Look at this place.
It's beautiful.
Home.
Yes home Father.
We are here to take you home.
Yes.
To planet Asgard.
Asgard is not a planet my sons.
It is people. It is you!
And now it is time for me to pass on to the spirit realm.
I will take my place...
in the great,
banqueting hall of Valhalla, the resting place...
of the gods.
One more thing.
You have a sister.
And so now,
I turn into godly stardust...
and say farewell.
Oh look.
Do you see? It's happening.
I am disappearing.
No!
Father!
But wait!
Brother!
An ominous portal,
hath appeared behind us.
Transform!
I am Hela,
Goddess of Death.
Now I return to Asgard,
to stake my claim as the rightful heir to the throne...
and no one will stop me!
Join me or die! We will never join you witch!
Mjolnir!
Impossible!
I broke your hammer!
Time to die!
Bifrost!
You can almost feel the power...
of these magnificent and immovable stones.
Ok. Let's head back to the village...
where we can drink some real Asgardian mead.
Come on.
God of Disaster...
we thank you.
We feared we would be at war forever without the protection of our gods...
but now,
peace shall reign.
In return for your service please accept these gifts.
As is tradition the protectors of our world are bestowed with great beasts.
Giant goats!
Look at those!
They are wonderful. Korg look at that.
Those things are beautiful.
King Yakan, thank you so much.
Listen...
about the temple... I don't wanna talk about the temple.
I know but if we were to talk about it I think it's important...
It's making me sad. To life and material objects...
And mad. Ok I will stop talking.
Don't forget the goats.
Which you accepted and now must take with you.
No backsies.
They are beautiful. Yes they are beautiful.
They also scream quite a lot.
They will be fine.
I am Groot.
We need to find the damn remote so we can download the distress signal!
Retrace your steps. Where did you put the remote?
One of your goats probably ate it!
Goats didn't eat the remote. Don't be ridiculous.
Well I ain't digging through their crap.
I love them! They should live with us forever!
Found the remote!
I am putting them down.
Me too. Is it working or not?
No it's not working. It's not charged.
Well maybe you need to find a charger... Get out of my way!
Korg you ok? Yeah bro. All good.
Alright. Everybody just relax. The goats are gonna be fine.
If not we can just use them for meat...
ting people.
Meeting people. They are a great conversation starter.
And I have been told you can summon them with a special whistle...
that goes something like this...
No that's not it. No that's not it.
You have a go.
No that's not it.
Oh hey guys.
Kraglin!
No that's not it.
You been here this whole time?
Yeah, you said to stay with the ship.
This is Glenda.
We are married.
I am Groot.
What did we tell you about jumping into new relationships?
That I should not be doing that.
Yeah you can't get married on every single planet we land on.
I am Groot.
Finally!
Alright here we go. Distress calls.
Please help us! The God Butcher has found us!
God Butcher?
He left them hanging as a warning.
Look at all of these gods murdered.
Our greatest champions now laid to waste.
The horror.
Who could have done something like this?
Thor where are you?
Wait, wait, wait. What was that? Go back.
Play that one.
Thor where are you? Sif?
We need you here.
My friend is in danger. We must go at once.
Start the ship my friends.
I don't know, maybe we should split up.
So many people to save I mean...
look at all of these distress...
calls.
Thor.
You gonna be ok?
I admire your commitment to each other. It's a beautiful thing.
Alas it's something I will never have.
Buddy, if I may...
You may.
After thousands of years of living you don't seem to know who the hell you are.
I have been lost before.
But then I found meaning I found love.
And yeah it got taken from me and god that hurts.
But that shitty feeling is better than feeling empty.
My hope for you is that one day you will find something...
to make you feel this shitty.
I have loved before.
It didn't work out.
They either die a grismal death or they dump you with a handwritten letter.
I don't know which is worse but it's why I keep everyone at arm's length.
You have grown too attached.
Damn it I knew this would happen. You must go.
I will find Sif.
You answer the other calls.
The galaxy needs its Guardians.
Cool yeah. We were just leaving... I know it hurts.
But it's better this way. You have to trust me.
To ease the pain why don't you...
take this ship here as a parting farewell gift?
You are giving me my ship?
Yes, she is yours.
May you make as many memories with her as I have.
She is a temperamental old lass.
Will serve you well, in a tight pickle.
I will start the ship. Thank you.
Goodbye old friend.
A human handshake...
to the Asgardian shake.
Into the snake that you cannot trust.
You are really dragging this out.
And finish with the classic Asgardian high one.
Let's go.
Take care of my crew.
This is gonna be hard for them.
Hurry up!
Not her.
Remember what I told you.
You ever feel lost...
just look into the eyes of the people that you love.
They will tell you exactly who you are.
Alright. Bye.
For what it's worth let's cling to the good memories.
We Asgardians say, may you travel with the speed of Odin's ravens.
I will see you in Valhalla where we shall drink mead and...
They are gone. Alone again.
Just me and you.
Stormbreaker!
Watch out you fricking crazy axe!
So what do we do now bro?
Let's go get Sif!
Who or what is that?
Falligar.
God of the Falligarians.
One of the nicest gods you will ever meet.
Oh no.
Sif, it's me Thor.
Odinson?
You are missing an arm.
I am gonna get you home.
No!
Leave me here.
I want to die a warrior's death.
On the battlefield. In battle.
And then I can claim my place in Valhalla.
Oh I hate to break it to you but
for a warrior to get into Valhalla you have to die in the battle.
You survived.
Oh shit.
Maybe your arm is in Valhalla.
What happened here?
I have been hunting a madman.
I followed him here...
but it was a trap.
Who is this madman?
The God Butcher, is coming.
He seeks the extinction of the gods.
Asgard is next.
Look it's Thor!
Thor! Take Sif to the infirmary.
Hey!
Who would you piss off now?
This is not my fault. I have never even seen these things,
whatever the hell they are.
Welcome back.
Who is the new guy?
That guy?
You are gonna love that guy.
Mjo-Mjolnir!
Mjolnir!
It's me Thor.
Have you seen my hammer?
Mjolnir here boy.
Mjolnir?
Mjolnir.
You are back!
Mjolnir!
Excuse me. Hello.
That's my hammer you have got there.
And that is my look.
Hey!
Enough tomfoolery.
Why don't you take off that mask and reveal yourself?
Come on.
Hey.
Jane?
Let me tell you the legend of Thor and Jane.
He was a God of Thunder,
and she a woman of science.
And although they were from different worlds...
somehow it just made sense.
And together they embarked...
on a journey of love.
Thor taught Jane the way of the warrior...
And Jane taught Thor the way of the people.
And as time passed,
their love grew deeper and deeper.
She is incredible isn't she Mjolnir?
I need you to promise me,
you will always protect her.
I love you too buddy.
And love that deep has a way of becoming magical.
Thor set his sights toward a future,
and all it might hold.
But the more he pondered a life with Jane,
the more he feared losing that life.
And although Jane didn't want to admit it...
she was scared of loss as well.
And so, they built walls between them.
Thor got busy saving humanity.
Heimdall!
And Jane got busy doing the same.
Real busy.
And eventually the space between them grew and grew,
until it became too wide to bear.
Something had to give.
I have to stay up all night,
Oh really I... to go through this data.
Ok! You and I have to stay up all night
and clean all of this up. This is... It's two plates and two forks!
Is two plates...
And then one night, it did give.
Jane wrote a note.
And Thor read that note.
And their legend suddenly became myth.
Or so they thought.
You ok?
Yeah...
it's a little hot in...
Starting to feel...
It's claustrophobic with the helmet.
How?
Can we talk about this later?
Yeah sure.
Great seeing you.
What?
Kill all the gods.
Hey. Is that the Necrosword?
That's cool. I have only ever read about it in stories.
Then you know this is going to hurt.
Pain.
What is pain but a construct invented by the weak?
Ok that's very sharp!
Ready?
Don't touch my things.
Yeah you better run you coward.
The children.
They are taking the children!
Mommy!
Mom!
Shadow monsters.
Disgusting.
Flew around the world twice.
Nothing.
Cowards must have run away. We will find them.
Quite a reunion?
You are telling me.
What's it been? Like three, four years?
Eight years seven months and six days.
I have not forgotten...
the last time I saw you or didn't see you because you left.
It's kind of an over simplification to say that I left.
Oh no. you left.
You did.
You wrote me a beautiful handwritten letter.
I should know I was there.
You were not there actually hence the note. I was.
And if you were not there to see me leave then maybe it was you that left.
Fair point.
Not that it matters.
Like who is keeping track right? No. Yeah.
I suppose we both left and both got left.
Now you are leaving again.
Miek, we need detailed accounts from all the witnesses.
Darryl get me all the names of the children who have been lost.
Your Majesty, my daughter has been taken and I don't know where she is.
And she will be found.
Guys they are bleeding. Get them to the infirmary. Now!
Darryl!
Majesty, should we start working on a performance of this entire debacle?
The people need entertainment.
Particularly now in times of crisis.
Particularly.
I did not hear a no.
Nor did I.
Asgard. Night. Yes!
We open on some sleeping children.
So that's the ex-girlfriend is it?
The old ex-girlfriend.
Jodie Foster.
Jane Foster.
The one that got away.
That means escaped.
Yeah.
Yeah...
Must be hard for you to see your ex-girlfriend,
and your ex-hammer hanging out and getting on so well.
What you up to bro?
Come on.
Come to daddy.
Come on. Mjolnir.
Hey! There you are.
Hey.
Do you know what, I think we should do? I was just calling you.
Start an army! With what?
Half our soldiers are dead!
Half our soldiers are always dead!
Everyone please... Where are the children?
Go home. I promise you we will have news soon.
Someone needs to tell us what happened.
We shall find them.
I just don't understand. You know what?
This is all our fault.
Stop it!
Asgard!
My friends we must not quarrel.
In times like this we need to unite come together.
I see what's happening here.
You are afraid.
Scared.
Afraid.
Anxious.
If we are to find the children we must first look within ourselves.
I am sorry Miek, it's very hard
to give a rousing speech with the...
noise. What are you doing? She is taking minutes.
Precious minutes we don't have.
You want the kids back?
I will be back in a minute.
You can write that down Miek.
No!
Stormbreaker what are you doing?
Is this about Mjolnir?
Everyone out!
Didn't find them.
Bae your cape is on fire.
It's fine. It will grow back.
I am invoicing you for this.
Listen.
What do we know about this guy?
He travels through shadows. And he creates monsters with them.
Absolutely freaky monsters.
He also wields the Necrosword. How do I know that?
Because he almost speared me in the face with it.
What's a Necrosword?
It's an ancient weapon that's been passed through hands since the dawn of time.
It has the ability to slay gods...
but it slowly corrupts and kills whoever wields it.
Which means... So it infected him.
It's infecting him. Yes. It must be.
So basically we are up against
a cursed shadow-zombie kidnapper.
Awesome.
When do we leave? Thor.
Can you see me?
Floating head alert.
It's Astrid.
Heimdall's son.
Astrid, are you ok?
I no longer go by the name Astrid.
I am now known as Axl.
He is a singer from a popular band I heard on Earth.
G N' R. Astrid...
your father gave you a very tough Viking name...
and I intend to honor his wishes.
Axl. Astrid.
I said Axl. Astrid.
Axl! It's asshole. Now listen to him!
Alright fine, Axl.
Where are you? I am not sure.
I don't know how to use my magic eyes yet.
Your father taught me and I am gonna teach you.
I need you to focus...
and hold out your hand.
Ok good. Now focus.
Close your eyes.
Thor!
Hey how is it going kids?
How is it going? Look where we are.
We are in a cage made of spikes.
Yes right. Not good. Yeah.
Are you gonna do something?
Yes. Yes I am, but just not right now.
I am the vision ghost. Look.
See? What will happen to us?
Who can tell?
I mean this is a very very bad situation.
You know the good news is, you are Asgardians.
So if you die you will end up in Valhalla.
Oh my God. Go away.
Wait wait. Listen.
Ok. It's alright children. Don't cry. Don't cry. It's ok.
Listen I have got a plan ok?
I am putting together a really really good team.
We have got...
Uncle Korg.
King Valkyrie...
my ex-girlfriend Jane,
which is a whole other story I won't bore you with ok?
But it is, a top-notch team...
and we are gonna have you home before you know it.
Yeah.
I know where you are.
I am gonna get you out of here.
I am scared.
We all are.
Thor! Thor! Save us. Save us. Save us.
Get me out of here. You take care ok?
Take care. I will see you soon. Alright?
Axl get me out of here!
They are in the Shadow Realm.
How do you know?
The heavy atmosphere there has a darkness like no other.
It's as if color fears to tread. It's unmistakable.
Well then if it's color we need...
let's bring the rainbow.
Bring the rainbow? Is that a catchphrase or something?
She is only been a Thor for a minute.
I mean saving lives she is quite good at. But the rest of it she needs work.
How many catchphrases have there been? A lot.
Yep. Jumped the gun.
Hang on he moves through shadows and he is going to the Shadow Realm,
it seems like that's where he is going to be the most powerful.
You are right. We can't just go marching in there.
It could be a trap. We would be endangering the children.
We need reinforcements. We must raise an army.
Are you thinking what I think you are thinking?
I am thinking it. What are we thinking?
Thinking what? I am thinking it too.
Omnipotence City.
What's Omnipotence City?
It's the home of the most powerful gods in the universe.
We could pull together the greatest team ever.
We could recruit Ra, Hercules...
Tūmatauenga.
Quetzalcoatl maybe.
And Zeus.
The oldest and wisest of them all.
Did you say Zeus?
Yeah Zeus.
Like the Zeus. Zeus-Zeus?
I am not sure if he has a second name.
Do you think my god will be there Ninny of the Nonny?
You never know Korg. But if they are we will ask them to join our team.
Yes.
Stormbreaker.
Alright. Calm down. Relax.
No, no, no mate, we are not traveling in Stormbreaker's janky Bifrost.
Look what just happened.
We can't exactly go in your tiny little flying portal horse.
Can we? We won't all fit.
What are you talking about? Warsong is awesome.
Stormbreaker is awesome too.
Stormbreaker just needs a conduit.
Anything that can handle space travel.
I love it when she talks shop.
It has the power to get us there,
it just needs something to focus that energy so it's not so...
unpredictable.
You know, if we had a ship we could harness it,
and use Stormbreaker as a power source.
Oh, like an engine.
Like an engine. You need a ship?
I have got a ship.
Get rid of all those seats.
And you guys go tie those goats to the front.
We leave in 15 minutes.
Essentials only everyone.
That's essential.
Fifteen minutes to departure!
Well you moved on quick didn't you?
You are some piece of work.
Oh, hey!
Hey.
Just catching up with an old friend.
Yeah.
I have been meaning to apologize.
Sort acting a little weird before. I just have not really been myself lately.
You know kind of...
trying to figure out who I am, and...
just felt a little bit lost.
And then all of a sudden I see you dressed as me and...
it was kind of...
It's a lot for me too.
So how did...
you guys get together? How did this happen?
I swear...
I heard Mjolnir call to me.
Did it?
And so I came here to investigate,
and its pieces started...
glowing and swirling and then...
Crazy.
Thor.
Well, you know what it looks good on you it works, so...
Just checking.
See you later.
Five minutes to departure!
What?
We were just talking.
Mommy don't leave me.
Don't be afraid.
Even when I am gone honey...
You won't be alone.
And whatever happens...
never stop fighting.
Never stop fighting.
Hey.
You alright?
Great.
The sink would say otherwise.
You think I really should be coming?
I am not getting any better.
You are a Thor. Of course you should come.
Besides what else are you gonna do?
You are a Viking now.
Means you pretty much have to die in battle...
and it needs to be, devastatingly painful.
Otherwise you don't get into Valhalla.
That's my plan.
What about...
you know kinging and stuff?
I love being king.
I love my people,
but it's all meetings and raven-mail,
and meetings that could have been raven-mail.
I miss fighting.
I miss my sisters.
Which is why you need to come because I need one.
Ok, we should go.
You packed?
Are you packed?
Yes!
A hand grenade?
No. It's a portable speaker.
Let's go.
If you don't mind keeping the sink
thing under wraps?
I got you.
My fellow Asgardians.
Wish us well for we shall travel with the speed of Odin's ravens.
We will return with children.
Many children.
And then we shall feast!
Not on the children.
We do not do that anymore.
Those were dark times.
Shameful times.
Ok we should go.
So, you still rollerblading?
No. No.
You?
Oh yeah. Every weekend.
Once you blade you never fade. Right Korg?
Skate mates for life!
Hey can I run something by you? Yeah.
So I was thinking when we get to the bad guy,
what about if I had like a cool catchphrase like...
Eat this hammer!
Or like...
Check out my hammer.
Like, what about...
No. I am work shopping it.
No, no, no, no, no, they are all really good, mine is...
This ends here and now.
Oh that's such a good one.
Took me a long time to perfect it.
You will get there. You just need to practice.
Just my first bad guy.
You never forget your first.
Yeah.
So you got a girlfriend?
No, no. Too busy don't have time you know, just...
the work and everything. Cool.
We gonna check this place out.
So cool.
Who is so cool?
The buildings are cool.
What's happening there?
Where? Am I...
sensing feelings?
Feelings, what?
For Jane? No, don't be ridiculous.
Feelings, the last time we had feelings were...
long time ago. Long long gone. I think you...
Maybe you have feelings. Right.
Mate relax.
I don't know. We are on the same team.
Know exactly what team we are on ok?
Team Jane.
Thing about Thor, is that he always bounces back.
Yeah. Like when Hela stole his hammer,
he went and built an axe which was forged in the heart of a dying star.
And the same axe was used to cut off Thanos' head.
That's a good one.
What a neat story!
With all this talk about chopping off heads...
I wanna have a go.
What's this?
This is Octy.
Hello Octy.
How are you?
You know what Octy loves?
Having his head ripped off!
What? You liked it a second ago.
Alright, alright, alright.
Octy is gone.
Come on.
I am scared.
Look at you.
I knew a little girl just like you.
And she was brave,
and she was smart...
and funny,
and she liked to draw.
Let me ask you a question...
about gods.
They are meant to protect you right?
Well where are they?
Thor is on his way.
Yeah!
Yes.
I am counting on that.
That's why you are here.
It's invitation only so we are gonna have to keep a low profile and blend in.
Luckily disguises, are my specialty.
Greek philosopher?
Got us these.
What are those?
Actual disguises.
They are the cloaks of the emotion gods.
Every color signifies a different emotion.
Where are the emotion gods?
Don't ask.
Holy shit.
Welcome to the Golden Temple kids.
This is where the most powerful creator gods in the universe hang out.
There is the god of magic,
the god of dreams,
the god of carpentry.
Look at that one.
Oh yes. That's Bao god of dumplings.
Hey Bao! Bao.
Look up there guys!
That's the Kronan god Ninny of the Nonny.
Hey Ninny Nonny!
Zeus! Zeus! Zeus!
Zeus!
Zeus! Zeus! Zeus!
Yes.
I am Zeus!
There he is!
The man, the myth, the legend.
I don't know if you know this but I base a lot of what I do on this guy.
He is the god of lightning I am the god of thunder.
Huge source of inspiration.
That's really good.
You should lead with that when you ask him for an army.
How do we get up there? Do we just like fly?
No we can't interrupt him in the middle of an entrance.
He is famous for his entrances.
Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt!
Yes!
Zeus!
Yes! Thunderbolt!
Order.
Order!
Silence!
I hereby open...
this holy council...
of the god.
Where we have many many serious matter
to be talk about.
Such as...
where are we going to hold this year's orgy?
Is this guy for real?
Honestly I am not mad at it.
Yeah I am sure he has a point ok?
Sorry. So now we are going to announce
the winner,
of the Most...
human souls,
sacrificed,
in the name of a god.
Ok maybe he is not that great.
Oh no, not good.
No, I don't think it's gonna get any better than this.
Look these gods are not gonna help.
But that thunderbolt I think that might be of use.
Jane, you go right. Thor you go left.
We bum-rush him, take the bolt, ding-dong.
Alright let's go get it!
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait!
There is no ding-donging or bum-rushing.
Especially not, Zeus' bum.
When the time is right I am gonna talk to him.
The time is right now.
Time is not right now.
Who is talking?
These guys.
Korg shut up.
Do you have something to say to the group?
Sorry.
I am bashing heads in 60 seconds, so speak fast.
Literally heads will roll.
Who are you two?
Hello.
Let me be the first to say it is an honor and a privilege to be...
No I can't hear you.
Why don't you take the stage?
The stage down there?
Well yes. You see the area...
that looks very much like a stage?
Got ya.
Coming through.
Sorry.
Good luck bro.
Mighty Zeus!
Gods of the universe...
I come here to ask for your help,
to raise an army.
There is a maniac called the God Butcher
who seeks to end us all.
His destruction is everywhere.
Entire planets, realms...
have been left completely unprotected.
He has left nothing but chaos in his wake.
But I know where he is...
and with your help,
we can crush him,
before he kills anyone else.
That guy...
he killed a couple of low-level god.
Yeah. Boo-hoo.
If that's all...
pretty boy...
you go back to your seat and you be quiet.
Yeah I am sorry. Did you not...
hear any of what I just said? He is...
He is murdering en masse.
I tell you, one time...
now you shut up.
You be quiet.
Because you are this close,
to being uninvited to the orgy.
Zeus?
We must do something.
You cannot come to the orgy!
You have to listen to us! That's it!
Shackle!
Your Highness whenever you are ready you just tell me.
We go on my signal.
What is the signal?
It will be Go.
Let's see who you are.
I take off your disguise.
And flick!
You flicked too hard damn it!
Should we help him?
I mean eventually.
Grape?
Looks like a shy courgette.
And what about the others?
We take off their disguise too.
Oh no. No. Don't flick us.
It's cool.
Disguise gone!
Disguise off. Cool?
Asgardians.
I thought we had seen the last of you when Odin died.
You are Thor...
the God of Thunder.
But is not thunder,
just the sound of lightning?
Good one Dad.
Zeus this is bigger than us.
He is taken Asgardian children.
Who do you think we are?
The god police?
Every god watches over their own peoples.
Nothing more nothing less.
Asgardian problems...
are Asgardian problems.
How the mighty have fallen.
My hero...
Zeus...
afraid.
Couple of thing.
One,
yes, I am scared.
Gorr has the Necrosword...
which means he could kill us.
Not good.
Two.
I know you are trying to do the right thing.
I understand.
But all you do, is cause a panic.
Panic is not good.
We are safe here.
You my friend.
You are safe here.
So chill baby cake.
Have some wine,
have some grape.
Anything goes here...
in Omnipotence City.
And three.
Don't talk back to Zeus.
I flicked too hard. I put your clothes back on.
Now I put your clothes back on!
Flick flick.
For this, is the Golden Temple of the god.
It's not a rudie-nudie festival.
If you are not gonna help us then at least let us use your weapon.
We need your lightning bolt.
My lightning bolt, is called Thunderbolt.
So I think,
to use somebody is secret weapon like this...
that you should at least get the name right
when you ask.
Can I borrow...
Thunderbolt?
Thunderbolt!
No!
Do not worry.
The God Butcher...
he will not reach Eternity.
Eternity?
What does he mean reach Eternity?
Oh shit.
Eternity...
is a very powerful being at the center of the universe.
It will grant the desire of the first person who reaches it.
So it's like a wishing well?
What do you think a guy called the God Butcher would wish for?
If he seeks the Altar of Eternity that means he could wipe us out at once.
Zeus we must act now.
He is not going to make it.
He doesn't have the key.
Is this the purpose of the gods?
To hide away in a golden palace like cowards?
Maybe we have lost our way.
You know what? We will stop him ourselves.
I am afraid I cannot allow that.
This is a secret place...
known only to the gods.
You know where we are.
The God Butcher could use you,
to find us.
This is no good.
So now...
you must stay.
Guards!
Hey.
Can we do my plan now? Yes.
Rush his bum. Hell yeah!
You didn't say Go.
Coming guys!
Thor catch!
Korg!
Val duck!
Korg!
Thor.
Oh no.
No. Korg!
Thor...
I-I am perishing!
Zeus!
You are next Odinson!
That's the sound of lightning.
No!
Korgi!
Thor.
Korgi? I am down here.
Where? Where are you?
I am gonna get you out. It's ok.
Korg. Korgi! Here I am!
I didn't die!
Oh my God. Yes! You are alive!
Turns out the only part of a Kronan that's alive is his mouth.
Korgi listen. I need you to call the goats.
I will do my best.
Guard him with your life.
I will.
Ready to go for a ride?
Now you have got my six.
Eight o'clock Val.
7:48.
I can do this damn it.
No that's not it. No that's not it.
Nope.
Come on Korg purse those lips.
I did it!
And then the goat boat came in,
rescued us and we...
flew out the window.
The end.
Another classic Thor adventure.
I can't believe you killed Zeus.
Well you know what they say,
never meet your heroes.
But what's important is we are on our way to you right now.
How are you guys doing? Are you ok?
We are alright. A little scared.
Well listen I know what it's like to be scared.
And I will tell you when I was your age...
I don't think I would have been as brave as you.
Really?
In fact might just be the bravest Asgardians that I have ever met.
All of you.
So I need you to keep being brave alright?
And take care of each other. You are a team now.
Team Kids in a Cage.
Can you do that?
Yeah. I think we can do that.
I know you can.
Right?
Thor? Yeah.
I am glad I met my hero.
Oh thanks buddy.
How are the children?
As you can imagine they are a little bit scared because they are kids,
but I told them that everything is going to plan.
Oh so you lied to them?
We still have a plan?
Yes there is a plan. There is no plan.
There is a plan. No.
There is no plan.
We failed to raise a god army...
Korg is dead.
He is not dead. I am not dead.
Well he is a head. And you...
you got properly humiliated.
No I got properly naked which I am ok with.
Jane? I was ok with it.
Korg? I loved it.
The point is, we are going into the Shadow Realm,
weaker than we were before.
I mean, we are gonna die.
No one is gonna die, ok? Really?
Everything is fine. We did great back there.
We killed Zeus! You killed Zeus.
Oh you know I mean that may or may not be catastrophic for the...
for the whole universe and sure the...
entire god kingdom is probably going to hunt us down for the rest of our days,
but listen you stole,
this beautiful weapon.
Alright? This is the army right here.
It's sleek, it's slender, it's powerful, it's beautiful...
For you I love it, for you Valkyrie.
I mean it's not really what I am into,
because I have got my...
my weapon out there.
Can I borrow that for a second?
Oh there you are old friend.
That was quite an entrance back there.
Listen...
are we good?
Yeah?
I mean I know it's a little weird having my ex-weapon around but...
come on, Mjolnir in the past.
It's you and me now buddy.
You know what?
I think it's time for your first beer. What do you say?
Delicious.
I am sorry we have been fighting lately.
Hey.
Oh hey.
It's quite the view?
Yeah. Beautiful.
I just want to say that was very very impressive what you did back there.
You and Mjolnir, you know.
Yeah.
Space dolphins. What?
This...
You should see some space dolphins... What?
Yeah. Beautiful.
So beautiful. So rare.
Very loyal creatures.
They mate for life...
in packs of six.
Just love.
♪ With a hey ninny-nonny ♪ ♪ and a fair finny-fonny ♪
♪ Ooh brother man you look so hot ♪
♪ I wanna get in your rocks ♪
♪ When we get together ♪ ♪ We are gonna get it on ♪
♪ And we are all gonna make some babies ♪
That is the song that my dad sang to my other dad when they were courting.
When two Kronans wanna make a baby they get together inside a mountain...
and they go down to a little lava pool,
and they hold hands over the hot lava,
and then after a month they pull their hands apart,
and they find they ave created a beautiful new Kronan baby boy.
Oh, fascinating.
And hot.
Did you ever have a special someone?
I have had...
so many special someones but...
I don't know...
I don't know if I want that again.
Is that because you lost your girlfriend in battle and never forgave yourself?
And now you are just trying to find answers in the bottom of a bottle...
or some meaningless dalliance which only serves to numb the pain,
instead of bringing you real happiness or satisfaction?
Yeah.
Something like that.
Beautiful.
Beautiful things.
Jane.
Thor.
I wanna feel shitty about you.
What?
Well I wa... I...
I wanna feel shitty about something,
and I think that's you.
Not really getting any better.
It's not is it, damn it.
I wann...
My friend he-he told me that it's better to feel shitty...
from losing love than it is to never experience love,
and to feel nothing at all to feel empty and I think he was right...
which is how I have been feeling for a long time.
I have pushed people away,
kept them at a distance because of the fear of that loss,
but I don't wanna do that anymore.
I don't wanna live like that. Better to close off your heart
than feel the pain. That's what I did, yes.
I closed off my heart and-and-and I meditated.
Did you-you meditate? No.
It's so boring. It actually made me more angry.
But I am tired of giving myself over to the idea of fate,
and trying to figure out what the universe wants from me.
I wanna live in the moment I wanna live like there is no tomorrow...
throw caution to the wind. I want...
I wanna be with you, Jane.
What do you say?
I have cancer.
I am sorry what?
I am sick.
Wait. What's happening? Bye.
No, no, no, no, no.
Jane, Jane, Jane. Wait, wait, wait. Bye.
Jane? What did I say? I didn't mean that.
Just kidding I...
don't have cancer.
Let's go smash something.
Jane I am so sorry.
Don't be sorry for me.
When did you find out?
Like six months ago I...
I was just feeling tired and then...
they told me I have Stage Four.
Get my affairs in order.
And then I heard Mjolnir calling me so...
I thought maybe,
if science isn't working maybe...
Viking space magic.
That's why you came to New Asgard.
Yeah I thought the hammer...
maybe could cure me and...
I think it's getting better.
Maybe not.
Jane none of us know how long we have.
We don't know what tomorrow holds.
And Mjolnir...
Mjolnir chose you.
And it chose you because you are worthy.
And that's something.
When I first met you...
I was unworthy. I was unable to pick up that hammer.
But you taught me...
there is no greater purpose than to help those in need.
You made me worthy.
So whatever you wanna do we can do together.
Ok.
Now what do you wanna do?
I wanna get those children back to their families.
I wanna finish that mission.
Spoken like a true Thor.
How do you feel now?
So scared.
How are you feeling?
Shitty.
How shitty?
Really shitty. Well then...
I wonder what those two are talking about out there.
Yeah they are not talking.
Do you think those two will ever hold hands over a hot lava pool and make a Thor baby?
It's unlikely sadly.
That's too bad.
I think Thor would make a great dad.
Hey. We are here.
Where did all the color go?
They are not here.
Where are they?
What the hell is this place?
Bifrost is the key?
It's a trap!
You wanna tell me why you just threw Stormbreaker out the window?
He needs it to open the Gates of Eternity.
We really have to stop meeting like this.
Call the axe.
I will call the axe when you call the dentist.
Call the axe.
Tell me where the children are or I am gonna kill you.
Call the axe.
Some god you are.
You know nothing...
of being a god.
You went to the gods for help,
and they did nothing.
We are alike in that sense.
He is nothing like you.
What was that?
I said he is nothing like you.
That's right.
I am not a hypocrite.
I am truly creating peace. Peace?
You are murdering innocent gods.
Innocent?
Are you a Valkyrie?
Yes.
How exciting!
Oh the gods failed you too?
When your sisterhood was led to slaughter.
Don't you dare speak...
Did you pray to the gods,
when the women you loved laid dying on the battlefield?
Did you beg them for help,
as your family was massacred?
Good chat.
This one.
You are interesting.
You are different.
Yes.
You are dying.
I am sorry.
We are on the same path.
Just as the sword...
empowered me...
the hammer empowered you.
But it did nothing to change your fate.
The gods...
will use you...
but they will not help you.
There is no...
eternal...
reward...
for us.
She will be gone soon.
And you know who won't help her?
I will give you one guess.
I know your pain.
Love is pain.
I had a daughter once.
I put my faith in a higher power,
hoping it would save her...
and she...
died.
Now I understand.
My daughter is the lucky one.
She does not have to grow up in a world...
of suffering...
and pain...
run...
by wicked...
gods.
Choose love.
Call...
the axe.
Call...
the axe.
You ok?
Yeah.
I wanna kill this guy.
So do I, but we have to take him alive.
He is our only link to finding those children.
Thank you Mr. Goat.
Val!
We got to get her out of here!
Hey. I got you.
Hey guys we are here. Come on let's go.
Stormbreaker take us home.
At a rate that none of us have seen before.
Look, there are other more aggressive forms of treatment we can try...
but something is affecting her body's ability to fight the cancer.
I am sorry Thor.
Oh. There you are.
Ok. What's going on out there?
Oh some moron made a fridge without a door.
Can you believe it?
Not to worry. Got it open and got you all sorts of...
goodies.
How is Val?
She is in a lot of pain...
but she is stable.
Ok good.
Now you just got to get this,
out of my... No no no.
That's got to stay in there. That's all the...
magic potions and elixirs doing their thing so...
just gonna pop out for a moment, pick up the kids...
kill the bad guy and then I will come straight back.
You are going without me?
Yeah.
What happened to like doing everything together?
He is gonna use those kids to distract you.
You need me.
I do need you Jane.
I need you alive.
It would be great to have you on the battlefield,
fighting Gorr side by side but that hammer...
is killing you.
Every time you use it it's draining all of your mortal strength...
leaving your body unable to fight the cancer.
What happened to live like there is no tomorrow?
Well that's before I knew you might not have one.
Why not have one more adventure?
Jane if there is a chance to live you have to take it.
Spoken like a true Thor who does not have cancer.
I know I seem like some cool astrophysicist from...
New Mexico just living the dream but...
look at me.
I wanna keep fighting.
I am the Mighty Thor.
And you want me not to do that?
What's the point of more time...
of this?
Because I love you.
I have always loved you.
And this is a chance, for us.
But if you pick up that damn hammer again then that chance is gone.
It's your choice Jane.
But I would regret it every single day if I didn't ask you to stay here...
so we could try and figure this out together.
You better come back to me.
I am coming back as soon as I can.
Break a leg.
I will break all his legs.
Remember that the Gate to Eternity,
is at the literal center of the universe. Universe, yes.
If you go past the cluster of comets... Yes yes I know.
We have been over this. I am not gonna get lost.
So how you feeling with the old stab wound?
I think I lost my kidney.
Gone completely?
I wish I could join you, but...
I would probably die and that won't help get the kids back...
so you will have to go alone.
All you have to do,
is destroy that sword.
It's his source of power.
He won't survive long without it.
Hey.
Don't die.
Yeah I know.
Eternity.
Finally.
Come on.
Hey kids.
I knew he would come.
Go!
Go kids!
Everyone ok?
Alright gather round. Gather round.
Good to see you in person buddy.
Good to see you.
Alright listen up. Here is the plan.
We are gonna sneak our way towards Stormbreaker...
being very careful not to bump into,
any of those big shadow monsters.
They are behind me are not they?
Does anyone here have battle experience?
Battle experience? No. Well...
no time to learn like the present.
We are not strong like you. We are just kids.
Hey don't forget you are Asgardian kids.
I am not. I am just a Lycan kid.
And I am a Midassian kid.
I am Falligarian. Ok, ok.
But-but today,
you are Asgardians.
Now collect your weapons.
What?
Go and find anything you can pick up.
Bring it back here.
Hurry hurry!
Ok cool. Come on!
They are getting closer. Hurry up!
Come on!
Today,
is a day that will go down in history.
Today is the day they will talk about for generations to come.
Today, we are Space Vikings!
Present...
arms!
Whosoever holds these weapons and believes in getting home...
if they be true of heart is therefore worthy,
and shall possess...
for limited time only...
the power...
of Thor!
General Axl...
lead your army to that axe.
We shall do our worst.
For Asgard.
Yeah!
No.
Jane.
We destroy that sword and he is dead.
The gateway is almost open. You got to stop Stormbreaker.
It's ok. I got him.
Stormbreaker stop this!
Get a hold of yourself. Look what you are doing!
I am gonna get you out of there.
Come on.
Come on buddy.
Let go of my friend.
You have lost Lady Thor.
First off...
the name is Mighty Thor.
And secondly...
if you can't say Mighty Thor...
I will accept,
Doctor Jane Foster.
And thirdly...
Eat my hammer!
Stormbreaker!
I knew you could do it.
Axl! Get them home!
Jane?
I am ok.
You have to stop him.
Gorr! Stop!
What kind of father would I be...
if I stopped?
I know your pain but this isn't the way.
It's not death,
or revenge that you seek.
What do I seek?
You seek love.
Love?
Why should I seek love?
Because it's all any of us want.
How...
dare...
you turn your back on me?
You have won Gorr.
Why would I spend my last moments with you...
when I can be with her?
I choose love.
You can too. You can bring her back.
Make your wish.
I am dying.
She would have no one.
She would be alone.
She won't be alone.
My love.
I have missed you so much.
I missed you too.
I am so sorry.
It's ok.
Ever since I picked up that hammer...
it's like...
I have gotten an extra life.
And... it was...
magical.
Not too bad for a human.
Not too bad for a god.
Hey.
I think I figured out my catchphrase.
Oh yeah? What is it? Come close...
It's perfect.
It's the best one yet.
Thanks.
Keep your heart open.
I love you.
I love you too.
Protect her.
Protect my love.
Let me tell you the legend of the Space Viking...
AKA...
the Mighty Thor,
AKA...
Dr. Jane Foster.
Her sacrifice saved the universe...
and taught us all,
what it means to be worthy.
She helped the children of the gods...
who laser-beamed their way back home...
to their dozy little fishing village turned tourist destination.
Axl!
I missed you.
Are you ok? I am fine. I am ok.
Are you sure? I am ok.
The kids were safe to be kids again. Louder three!
Widen your stance.
Especially after their king made them all go to self-defense classes.
Look at all those budding Space Vikings. And the most important part.
The war cry!
Even Heimdall's son...
Axl Heimdall son...
who could now do his dad is freaky eye magic...
was becoming quite the warrior.
The future of Asgard was secure.
Speaking of futures,
I was forging one of my own,
now that my body is grown back...
with a dude I met called Dwayne.
And what about Thor you ask?
He embarked on a new journey...
because he had found something to live for
something to love for.
A little someone who turned him from Sad God,
into Dad God.
Breakfast is served.
Hello.
There you go.
Hey. Breakfast.
Excuse me.
What is that?
They are pan-flaps. From Earth.
I don't think I like pan-flaps.
You love them. No I don't.
Yes you do. I have never had that in my life.
Come on. Eat up. We have to go. We are gonna be late.
Now where are your boots?
I am wearing them.
You are not wearing those.
Yes I am. No you are not.
Yes I am.
No. You are not.
Go to hell demon!
Brand new now destroyed. Thank you very much.
You know what?
You wear what you want.
Don't come complaining to me when your feet get sore alright?
You will get no sympathy here from me.
Fine I will wear the boots.
Thank you.
Remember what my mother used to tell me.
Listen to the grown-ups...
and if you see anyone scared or being picked on...
you look after them ok? Ok.
And most of all have fun.
Gotcha. Gotcha.
Now where is Mjolnir? Where did I put him?
Over there. Sleeping in the bed.
In the bed.
That is not coming off.
What did you do?
She looked boring before.
Yeah.
Suppose it did. I love it.
Very creative.
Ok.
Now you see the aliens down there? The stripy ones?
They look nice.
Yeah they are nice. That's why we have to look after them.
Got it.
Protect the nice ones.
I love you sweetie.
Love you Uncle Thor.
They will always be there for us.
The Space Viking,
and his girl born from Eternity.
With the powers of a god.
Two warriors...
fighting the good fight,
for those who can't fight good.
They have traveled far,
and have been given many names.
But to those who know them best...
they are simply known...
as Love and Thunder.
By LESAIGNEUR Sync & corrections September 2022
It used to be that being a god,
it meant something.
People would whisper your name...
before sharing their deepest hopes and dreams.
They begged you for mercy...
without ever knowing if you were actually listening.
Now...
you know they look to the sky...
they don't ask us for lightning.
They don't ask us for rain.
They just want to see one of their so-called superheroes.
When did we become the joke?
No.
No more.
They will fear us again...
when Thor Odinson falls from the sky.
Do you understand me Hercules?
Do you understand me my son?
Yes Father.
By LESAIGNEUR Sync & corrections September 2022
What?
Hey.
Jane Foster.
Heimdall.
I see you are dead now.
Yeah.
Thank you for looking after my son.
You are very welcome here to the land of the gods.
Welcome to Valhalla.
By LESAIGNEUR Sync & corrections September 2022