EDGARDO SAYS:
Who'd leave their dog...? What a lovely boy.
Come here.
Come on.
Why are you doing that when there are other things to do?
We need some omelets.
Do one with cod, one with garlic...
and two with potatoes, one without onion.
Did you get the pickled tuna?
-All right, I'll do it. -Lolo!
Shit, I can't cope.
I'm still hung over from last night.
I feel awful. I didn't sleep a wink.
We'll need things for your birthday party.
Shit, let me recover before we talk about that, will you?
It�s only a few days away.
I'll look after the catering.
-You're getting too old for things. -Screw you.
I got the tent. It�s fantastic, big enough for three.
-Did you get the sleeping bags? -Not yet.
Where did you say the campsite was?
A mile from Benicassim, near the festival.
And full of Italian chicks.
Didn't you prefer Dutch girls?
They're sluts. Their folks give them contraceptives when they reach 13.
But they come in June with the German girls, who have bigger tits.
In July, English girls. They get drunk and fuck anything that moves.
In August, the Italian and French girls.
They're tighter but not bad. Pizza and champagne, kid!
If you don't get laid in Spain in summer it�s because you're stupid.
Opo.
You're out of your head.
-1OOg of ham. Anything else? -No, dear. Here.
-Your pension goes a long way. -I can't even feed the cats with it.
This is savings.
-Careful with this 2O cent piece. -All this progress...
...and we go back to cents. -I haven't seen Mariano lately.
-How is he? -Fine. Just fine.
He doesn't like the heat so he stays in.
-Right. -Maybe it'll turn cooler soon.
He hates this heat. Bye.
-Bye. -Bye.
My turn. 4OOg of chickpeas, some olives...
and some cheap anchovies. I've got no savings.
You heard Conchi. You can't live on the pension they give you.
-And no kids to help her out. -Maybe that�s why she has savings.
It�s just the two of them. With my three I spend everything.
You're only happy when you're complaining.
It�s all right for Raquel.
She's on her own. It�s two years since Santi left you, right?
I mean... since you split up.
That�s it. Anything else?
No, nothing else.
Lolo, the coffee's boiling over.
You're losing it, mate!
Here's your tuna roll. Don't you start too!
-What�s the matter? -I'm on my own!
-What about Rosalia? -She's gone shopping.
-Do I get that cuttlefish or what? -It�s coming, damnit!
Rosalia.
Rosalia, where are you?
Rosalla.
Shit, Rosalla, there's a lot to do.
Well listen...
When you stop sulking...
get some anchovies and bring them over.
Four weeks on a ship? Shit!
My folks preferred four weeks on a ship to starving.
-Your health, sir. -Cheers.
It�s hot, isn't it?
I've got cancer.
And, to cap it all, the doctor says stop smoking.
-Know what I said to him? -No.
"Doctor, why wipe my ass if I'm already in the toilet?"
That�s telling him!
I've got...
maybe two months.
And with this heat, it�s going to be pretty bad.
Yeah, it�s too hot. It�s the ozone layer.
They've started giving me drugs. So I won't realize.
They give you drugs?
That�s fucking great!
Mariano, put the cigarette out.
-What are you doing here? -Nothing. I...
Nothing, woman. The boy's keeping me company.
Come here, Opo.
-You know I don't want you here. -I like talking to Mariano.
I came for something special. It�s Cesar's birthday.
He's getting older. And with supply and demand how it is...
I wouldn't want to end up with nothing.
-What do you want? -3O "Mitsubishis".
3O "Mitsubishis"?
My goodness. That�s a lot.
-There are a lot of us. -I see.
How about some "Simpsons"?
The gang gets too wild on those. The other day, Xavi took one and...
-When do you want them for? -Saturday.
Saturday?
-I'll see what I can do. -Okay.
By the way, Mariano went over the top today.
He told me some story...
Did he? What did he tell you?
He said he's got cancer and that they give him drugs.
Anyway, I'm off. Bye.
Mariano! Have you gone mad? Look what you've done!
-Hello, Montse. -Lolo. How're things?
-I need some anchovies. -No problem.
Montse, a kilo of anchovies for Lolo.
Hey, Eloy, I wanted to ask you something.
Do you know of a cook who could help me out at the bar for a few days?
Have you sent your wife on holiday?
No. She's sick.
Don't you close in August?
You won't find a cook now who'll work for just 3 or 4 days.
I was thinking of staying open another 2 weeks.
I don't want to close the whole month.
If your wife's sick, you should.
Yes, well, I have to go and open.
-Chalk it up. -lf I hear of one, I'll call you.
And look after that wife of yours.
Okay, okay.
THINGS ARE STILL BAD IN BUENOS AIRES.
I KNOW.
I'M TRYING TO GET DUAL NATIONALITY.
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT AUGUST? IT'S TOO HOT.
AFRAID TO MEET ME FACE TO FACE?
IT'S LATE. I HAVE TO GO.
When an old elephant senses that his time has come...
he chooses a younger elephant to accompany him and leaves the herd...
on what will be his last journey.
They will walk across the savannah...
-You don't look too good. -I couldn't sleep.
-It�s the heat. -Maybe someone wouldn't let her.
No, I really couldn't sleep.
Only joking. But being on your own you can do what you want.
Sure. The advantages of separation, you know.
Well?
Two tins of sardines and some sausage.
-You're better off on your own. -It�s worth it in the end.
The trouble men give...
It�s good to have a man at hand when the tap's broken.
-True. -What do you do then?
-I turn on another. What else? -2OOg of mortadella.
My Cesar's the handyman at home. His father's useless.
-He can fix anything. -He could fix Raquel's video.
-It�s broken, isn't it? -Yes.
-I'll tell him to call in. -No.
Don't bother, I hardly use it.
The odd dirty film can brighten up your life.
Really!
-Yes, I'll tell him to call in. -Whatever.
-Anything else? -Some eggs.
Feel that. Just like Bruce Lee.
From all the hand movement.
Look.
I'm getting one of these.
-You're getting a nunchaku? - Yeah. So?
Self-defense, kid. And it�s a martial art like judo or karate.
But discredited by louts with broom handles and toilet chains.
Bruce Lee got killed by a nunchaku, didn't he?
What are you saying!
That was a cover-up.
Bruce Lee was killed by a Hollywood producer...
who wanted Chuck Norris to be the new martial arts king.
They didn't want a Chinese as the hero.
That's why David Carradine was the Grasshopper.
-Who? -David Carradine. Kill Bill.
Ah, Kill Bill. But Kill Bill was Chinese.
Of course he wasn't Chinese.
His name was David Carradine. Car-ra-dine.
Anyway, they took slant-eyed actors because there was "chinaphobia".
Being killed was the best thing for the Master.
Better than Norris's shopping channel.
What do you mean? Chuck Norris keeps really well.
-Does he? -Yeah!
-He's got a fine physique. -Now this is a fine physique.
-Chuck Norris? No way! -You just watch yourself, Opo.
Watch yourself.
Hello. A beer.
I'm out of draught. It'll have to be bottled.
Give me a small one. What "tapas" have you got?
-Those there. -I see. A packet of crisps.
-The octopus is fresh. -Sure. I'll have the crisps.
Shit.
Conchi, how you doing?
-You know, kid. It�s hot. -Yeah.
The money for the coffee.
-Okay. -Bye.
-Morning, madam. -Morning.
Hello, boy.
-Yes? - It�s Cesar, Carmen's son.
-About the video. -Right. Come In.
Turn that off.
That�s it.
-I need to take it away. -Okay.
The heads might be dirty, but it�s a good video.
Yes. I haven't used it much lately.
I'll have to open it. I'll bring it back in a few days.
Okay. Shall I give you some money now...?
No.
-Mom would kill me if I charged you. -Right.
-All right then. -I'll bring it round then.
Right.
-Bye. -Bye.
What the hell has Eloy sent me?
Just as well nobody saw you come in...
or they'd think I was stupid.
Can you cook?
-Right then... -Mao.
Mahou. Just like the beer.
Now I'm hiring you for two basic reasons:
To earn me money and to ease my workload.
So if you don't do either...
there's the door and you're out on your fucking ear, okay?
Good. Fine then.
No, it�s not my operating system.
I already told your colleague. I need to log-on...
Yes.
I have checked my user name and password. Several times.
That�s the third time you've said the lines are overloaded!
All right, I'll hold on.
Edgardo?
Shit!
-Valeron. -Yes!
-Tristan. -Yes!
-Djukic. -No, not him.
-Mauro Silva. -Yes!
-Victor. -Yes!
-Manuel Pablo. -Yes!
-Molinari. -It�s Molina, damnit!
-Molina. -Yes!
-Tristan. -Yes!
-Pandiani. -Yes!
Why the hell did you go and say Djukic?
But for him we'd have made it last season.
You've had me naming the Coruna football team for 15 years now.
We all make mistakes.
Sorry. I've met a few weirdos in this job...
...but you take the cake. -The cake!
I'm not surprised that poor Rosalia left you. You are weird.
That�s right, feel sorry for her.
It�s me who's been left.
But all you've ever done is exploit her.
How would you know? Look...
I was about to take her to Torrevieja for a few days.
Just cut the crap. I know you.
You've been saying that for years.
Then you take her to that shithole of a village where you were born.
Listen to Miss Cosmopolitan!
You should close the bar and go and look for her.
That�s the most important thing.
Close the bar? That�s easy to say. What about my customers?
I've got commitments, you know. I mean, the day after tomorrow...
there's a group of 25 coming for a birthday party.
Your place is no palace. Let them find some other dive.
And what shall I tell people, smartass?
That I've closed because my wife left me? Like a chump!
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about my pride. That�s what.
Or aren't I allowed to have pride?
What can you tell a pro about pride? What do you know?
A whore's pride gets flushed down the bidet between customers.
You can't tell me anything about pride.
Did you find a cook? That�s all you're worried about.
Apart from your pride, of course.
-Yes. -Well, I feel sorry for them.
Women!
Conchi?
-Are you asleep? -No. What is it?
-Nothing. I was thinking... -What?
About how scared I was...
that first night we slept in Barcelona when we got here.
-You've never mentioned that before. -I was so scared...
in that hostel in the red-light district that I couldn't sleep.
-Do you remember the room? -Of course I do, Mariano.
Conchi?
-What? -I feel the same now.
I get into bed and I start feeling scared.
Scared of everything that�s happening to me.
Mariano, I'm doing everything I can...
to make things easier for you.
To give you everything you need.
-To help you enjoy life. -I know.
And I appreciate what you're doing for me...
but is it really worth it?
We could go abroad ask another doctor.
We can't understand people here.
How would we understand people who speak another language?
-Conchi? -What?
I need you to help me.
I want to wrap things up...
my way.
Right, this is where you'll be working.
What do you think?
Well, first of all...
from now on your name's Rosalia.
Ro-sa-lia.
Understand? I know you don't but so what?
Now on that point there's no arguing. Okay.
I see you've brought your apron. That�s very good.
But don't lower your guard. The hours are very simple.
You'll come in with me first thing and leave when I close.
And under no circumstances are you to leave the kitchen.
In this country, people say they're not racist.
but when there are Arabs, blacks and South Americans everywhere...
everybody'll be fucked up.
So it�s best if no-one knows I've got a Chinaman cooking.
On that point, there's no arguing either.
All right.
Okay.
Now, very important:
In this kitchen everything's cooked with olive oil.
So if I see any fucking soy sauce around here...
you're fired and I mean it.
-On that point... -There's no arguing.
Exactly.
Let�s see if you've really understood. Turn round.
I'm not going to eat you.
Rosalia!
Right. Good reflexes, that�s for sure.
What a bastard.
Lift it out.
Those cigarettes! You should stop smoking.
"Should do this, should do that."
-Conchi? -What?
What are we going to do?
Have you thought about what I said last night?
Conchi, what are we going to do?
We're going for a walk. They've finished the park...
and it looks lovely. We're going to sit on a bench and take the air.
You'll feel much better, you'll see.
I'd rather stay in...
and do the geraniums. Then they'll feel better too.
You are so stubborn.
Don't be angry.
With this heat, I'd rather not go out.
All right.
I've got a few things to do.
Rosalia! A chopped seafood!
Ei, Bruce Lee!
-Careful or you'll break something. -Everything's under control.
-I told you, asshole! -Sorry.
See. The nunchaku strengthens your hands, arms and shoulders.
It improves accuracy and peripheral vision.
I mean, it�s essential...
to precisely gauge the distance between you and your opponent.
Sure, because your life's in constant danger, right, Opo?
What are you laughing at?
You never know where your enemy is.
-I am so scared. -A portion of omelet and a beer.
Coming up.
Come here. I bet video girl's a good fuck.
All that nunchaku crap and your peripheral vision is still shit, man.
What are you saying?
You're light years away from fucking her.
-Here, Lolo. -Right.
-Bye. -Bye.
Tell Rosalia to call in.
-I've got her mushrooms. -Okay, I'll tell her.
She hasn't come in today. She's sick.
-I'm on my own. -Rosalia ill?
-What�s wrong with her? - I don't know really.
The heat. Yes, this fucking heat.
-It�s no good to anybody. -I know.
-The omelet�s good today. -Fuck me.
-Father, I'm desperate. -I understand.
-What can we do? -Pray.
With dedication, devotion, faith.
Especially, with faith.
Pray, and many other things. Look.
Everything you and your husband need is here.
Pray every day for the Almighty...
to bear you in mind and to put off the inevitable as long as possible.
And nothing better than the intersession of...
St. Gemma Galgani, Our Lady of Perpetual Help...
and one of the classics for health, Our Lady of Lourdes.
We do home services too. Take this brochure.
Take it home, read about...
our services of extreme unction and prayers for the dead.
Thank you very much, Father.
Let�s go to the Salamander for something relaxing.
You know, a couple of beers then home. What do you say?
No, with you it�s always a couple of beers then something else.
Do you know where the angel cakes are?
Sure. Down that aisle on the left.
But have you thought?
If angels don't need to eat, why should they eat cake?
So young and such a dick already!
Cesar, what a pair of tits!
I'll get some more boxes.
-Hello. -Hello.
Do you work here?
Yes.
-I was looking for the wine. -The wine?
Over there.
Come on.
-How about this one? -This one?
Well, this one's...
16 euros 79.
It�s a bit dear, but it�s fantastic.
Have you tried it?
Not this one, no.
I'd like to invite you to dinner tonight.
For fixing the video. You can try it then.
-I don't know... -Sorry, I'm putting you on the spot.
No, no. I'd like that.
Sure? Maybe you've arranged to meet your friends...
No, really. I haven't got any plans for tonight.
What time?
-Are you really sure? -Yes.
-Ten o'clock? -Fine.
Right.
-See you later then. -Wait!
-What? -The wine.
Julian? Julian?
It�s me Manuel, your brother-in-law.
Fine.
Fine. Too hot.
Yes, I know it�s cooler there.
Anyway, I just rang to see how you all were.
Yes.
We don't get any younger.
Rosalia?
Fine. She's here doing some cleaning.
She sends her love.
No, she can't come on now. We're really busy. Yes.
We were thinking of going to Torrevieja for a few days.
We'll see.
Yes.
Okay, nice to hear you.
Love to everyone.
Bye.
Where the fuck is that woman?
-I can't go to the Salamander. -Come on!
Just a couple of beers and that�s it, I swear on Bruce Lee's widow.
-I'm meeting someone. -Sure, you're meeting me.
Hold on, hold on a minute.
You're meeting someone?
Look me in the eye.
-In the eye, you bastard. -What?
You bastard! You are meeting someone!
Who are you meeting? Out with it, don't be a bastard.
Tell me, damnit!
Nuri, the checkout girl.
Nuri, the checkout...
Like hell you are! She's a dyke.
If her girlfriend found out, she'd tie a knot in your dick.
Go on, man! Don't be a pussy! Say it!
-The girl from the chickpea shop. -Fuck me!
The one who sells chickpeas?
-Really? -Yes.
And you're expecting a fuck, aren't you?
She just wants to thank me for the video.
Were you born yesterday? She must be gasping for it.
My mum said her husband left her 2 years ago.
-So? -What you mean "So"?
She'll snap you up like this with her twat.
-After 2 years. -What do you know?
You have no fucking clue what you're saying.
All right, go ahead.
-But she'll eat you alive. -Yeah, whatever.
Good evening.
Do you have 5 minutes for the word of God?
Not now.
-Hello. -Hello.
You and the word of God can fuck right off!
Well...
A heavy day, right?
Anyway...
Yes, sir.
You've worked hard, yes, sir.
I like helping people like you out.
I had to emigrate once to survive.
I worked in the Helvetian Confederation.
That�s Switzerland to the layman.
As a skilled worker, of course.
That�s the trouble. You people come here without qualifications.
There's no free ride here, Mahou.
Not Mahou. My name's Mao.
Chef of deluxe restaurant, Hong Kong.
I see. Hong Kong. Very nice.
Have you had any supper, Mao?
Let�s make something then. Anything'll do for me.
Make a bacon omelet or something.
Mao.
Like Mao Tse Tung?
Actually, you know, I'm a bit of a communist.
It�s all been really nice.
But I don't know if it�s worth feeling like this.
How?
I don't know.
Really.
It�s getting light.
-We should get some sleep. -Right.
You at your place, me at mine.
Why?
Because this is my bed...
and I'm used to sleeping alone.
Okay.
What time does Conchi come in?
-Later. -Can we have 4 glasses of water?
-The tap's dry. -What do you mean "dry"?
Forget it. Let�s go.
Get out, dog!
Mariano! Mariano!
What is it? What is it?
Wake up! Speak to me!
Mariano!
Morning.
-Here. -I don't feel like it.
Sugar's good for you when you've lost glucose...
sweat and high-protein fluids.
As in your case. You fucked her, right?
-Is she a good fuck then? -Excuse me.
She's just another bird.
You don't need to talk. Just nod or shake your head.
Did she blow you or not?
-What a pain you are. -Did she or not?
No.
But she stuck her finger up my ass when I came.
Shit! Fucking great!
Did you ask her if she had 2 sleeping bags?
Remember we're going to Benicassim.
I'll ask her next time.
You're seeing her again?
No, but I have to return her video.
You'll fuck up.
Your husband ought to come here.
You know how stubborn he is.
Tell him to come in for observation for a few days.
He just doesn't want to know.
He thinks there's no hope at all. That it�s virtually over.
Look, we can't do anything to stop the fainting spells...
but we can do something to help relieve the pain.
This medicine contains morphine.
It has to be taken in very small doses...
and only when the pain comes.
But please try and persuade him to come in and see us.
All right.
I'll try, doctor.
-Raquel, I said lentils. -Oh, sorry.
I'll get them right away.
-With this heat you can't think. -You look nice today.
Yes, the heat. You're telling me.
A couple of Mormons came round last night...
...and if Antonio hadn't been in... -What?
I might have shown them Heaven's door.
-They were too young for you. -So what?
Some women go to Cuba for the young boys.
Now they're pathetic.
-At least they have fun. -And some water.
-Hello. -Hello.
-What a surprise. -I brought the video.
Where have you been? I haven't seen you for 2 days.
-Some little birdie, I expect. -Really?
-Is he dipping his wick on the sly? -Probably. Like his dad.
-Hey! -Only joking.
-Got a girlfriend? -Stop that, mom!
-What�s her name? -Come on, tell me. Anyone I know?
-Is she local? -Tell me.
-Leave him alone! -My little Cesar's got a girlfriend.
-Will you fucking leave me alone! -Hey!
-It�s all right. -You clumsy fool!
Piss off!
-He's in a daze. -Hormones.
He's in love.
It�s okay. It�s only a video.
Welcome to "Show Cooking" with Ferran Adria.
Now to end this series, here's a classic.
Gallcian scallops.
And to make Galician scallops we'll need some scallops...
tomatoes, garlic, onions, paprika and a little bread.
We cut the tomatoes In little cubes.
We put this In here, and cut the onion and the garlic...
In slices.
We fry it for a while, and put it aside.
Then we do the same with the garlic. We cut the scallops...
In thin slices. Then we prepare the vinaigrette sauce.
We fry the tomato.
Let's gild them a little.
Then we add some olive oil.
Not too much.
Now,let's ad the tomato, the garlic and the vinaigrette sauce.
Let's put it In the grill...
to warm it up just a bit.
Now it's ready to serve.
Galician scallops.
Have a good holiday, enjoy yourselves...
and do what you feel like doing.
What the hell is this?
-Guess. -Have you gone crazy?
People get put in jail for that!
-I'm sorry, Lolo. -And in my bar too!
I could be closed down! Now I understand.
All those kids asking for you, sitting with you.
The nice old lady turns out to be a drug pusher.
What�s the world coming to? A decent woman like you...
...selling drugs. -I won't do it again. I promise.
Wait a minute.
How much do you make?
You're getting rich on my customers.
All net profit. You don't pay tax or V.A.T. on it.
Taking advantage of me! Look, Conchi...
I'm willing to forget this.
But if you do that again...
...I want a cut. -You leech!
That�s enough! I'm only looking after number one.
If you get caught here, it�s me who'll be in trouble.
So if you don't cut me in, I'll be the one to tell the cops.
You don't scare me, you wretch!
I'm too old to go to jail.
I'm too old even for that.
All you think about is sucking the blood of everyone around you.
Don't you worry, I won't deal here again.
But change your attitude or you'll end up even more alone than you are now.
-What do you mean? -Some things you can't cover up.
You should leave now.
Mariano! Mariano, darling, what have you done?
Oh, my God, he's gone completely mad!
Mariano, darling!
-This is going to kill me. -Give me a kiss.
-Conchi... -Come on, come on.
-Conchi... -Hold on.
-Let�s have a shag. -What? Oh, my God!
Hold on, hold on!
Thanks.
-Cesar? -What?
Look...
there's someone else.
I don't feel guilty or anything.
I mean... I don't know. I'm confused.
It�s an unusual relationship.
You'll probably think it�s silly.
I've been having an on-line relationship for a year.
Online relationship?
-A steady relationship. -Steady?
-An online steady relationship? -Yes.
But have you met him? Do you know each other?
Well...
...from photographs. -Come on!
He's in Argentina and that does complicate things a bit.
How can it be steady if you haven't met?
A guy who has to write "ha-ha-ha" when he laughs.
-We speak on the phone too. -Sure.
That�s what everybody does.
They chat then exchange phone numbers. Teenagers do that.
-Then they meet and... -What?
...they find out that it was all a lie.
Maybe I prefer that kind of lie.
Did you come here to lecture me?
No.
But I'm going to show how you it�s all an illusion.
A red carnation? He's crazy.
-Well? -Well...
all it proves is that you're a liar, not necessarily anyone else.
You think I'm the only one?
Go to Torrassa Bridge tomorrow and meet your "Lawyer 25".
It�s late. Go on, get dressed.
Can I sleep here tonight?
What�s the matter, damnit? Don't pull such a face.
I know you like sleeping alone, but just for tonight.
And you can come to my birthday party.
-You really want me to come? -Of course.
With a present.
-What would you like? -A trip for 2 to Majorca?
Well?
Come on, let�s go to sleep.
Well, not bad.
I've had better days, but not bad at all.
I'm pleased, Mao. Very pleased.
And to show you how appreciative I am.
I'm going to give you a present.
Look.
It�s got your name on it.
Thank you.
Now I'll buy you a drink at a very, very nice place.
Mao can't.
You really can't come?
Why not? Is it your religion or something?
I'll buy you a fruit juice then.
Mao meet someone. Till tomorrow.
It�s getting me down, Carmela.
I'm lost.
Alone.
Well, there's you but it�s not the same.
Sure. I'm a whore and it�s never the same with a whore.
-No offence meant. -None taken.
I know who I am.
If you knew who you were, these things wouldn't happen to you.
So who am I?
-A dimwit. -Shit, Carmela!
I can't just up and close the bar and...
And what? Go and look for her?
Yes.
No, she won't come back this time.
This time you'll have to go after her.
And time's not on your side.
You're right. Time's not on my side.
That�s right and it�s 6 o'clock.
I need to rest and you have to open the bar.
Go on. That�s 3O euros.
Shit, we haven't done anything!
That�s your problem, you never do anything.
You should know by now that time is money. Pay up.
Edgardo?
What?
When?
Monday?
Yes, of course I'm happy, I was asleep.
I tried to call you.
Yes, they told me.
No, I can't talk louder, people are asleep.
You know, people. The neighbors.
I'll go to the airport.
No?
Okay.
Yes.
I'll be here, yes.
Of course, my love.
We'll chat tomorrow.
Bye.
The doctor said it 'd be best if you were admitted.
Who's being stubborn now?
Maybe I didn't think too much when I did that yesterday.
Not too much? You didn't think at all.
You could have blown us both up.
You know I've never got up after you.
And you've never made the bed, but never mind.
I prefer you in bed to being alone.
Besides, Mariano, we've always put on a brave face...
and never given up. So why should I give up now?
Because of me.
Would you, if you were me?
Answer me.
Would you?
Of course I would.
With my balls on the table.
You're dead on your feet.
Did you fuck the chickpea girl again?
Her name's Raquel.
"Her name's Raquel!"
-I didn't know she had a name. -Just drop it.
You never listen to me.
Fuck a girl twice and you're screwed.
-They want something steady. -I know, idiot.
-Hey, you. -What are you doing?
To celebrate your birthday. Happy birthday, kid.
You're out of your head, Opo.
It�s gonna be a great party tonight.
Of course.
It�s a group of 25.
They can spend 15 euros a head. That means per person. Understand?
With that we have to feed them all and make a profit for ourselves.
I was thinking of something not too complicated.
I don't know if you understand. A bit of everything.
-How can I make you understand? -Mao understand perfectly.
First, chips and aperitifs to fill...
then cold meats, then fried assortment. Also, four and four of salads...
olives and chopped seafood.
Bread and wine or beer and that�s it. 2 euros 5O per person.
Net profit 12 euros 5O per person.
Overall profit for bar 312 euros.
52,OOO pesetas more or less. Understand?
No. Yes, I understand.
But it�s one thing to count your chickens...
and another to get them to hatch.
Please, call an ambulance.
Move back, please. Make some room, please.
2-6-2, over.
Make some room. Move back, please. 2-6-2, over.
2-6-2, over.
-Best to put it down now. -Always a smartass.
Move on or you'll be in trouble.
Hello.
Happy birthday.
Thanks very much.
Cesar, the last few days have been marvelous...
Look, we fucked twice, that�s all. So don't overdo it.
There was too much tenderness, to be just sex.
Why the fuck did you come here?
-Because it�s your birthday... -Some present you gave me.
Cesar...
Don't forget to meet Lawyer 25 today.
-Can I help you, madam? -No.
I found it.
You'll have to find somebody else now. This is the last time.
Okay, don't worry. We're giving up drugs anyhow.
Are you? How old's Cesar?
Twenty-two.
You're so young! I really envy you.
-What are you doing this summer? -Going to the Benicassim Festival.
Any excuse to fuck our brains out.
What about you two?
We're still thinking about it.
But I'm sure we'll go somewhere.
We all need a rest.
Don't do anything silly, okay?
Bye.
Conchi, wait!
-Here. -What�s this?
It�s...
a little present for Mariano.
Thank you.
I'm going to miss him.
Bye.
DO THE RIGHT THING
Good evening, "mademoiselle".
What�s this, Mariano?
Everything the doctors forbid us at our age.
-Glass of champagne? -Sparkling wine, Mariano.
Not sparkling wine, champagne! French champagne.
Hey, there.
What�s up, man?
A great night tonight...
and Italian girls at Benicassim on Monday.
Sure.
Come on, no long faces.
-What�s up? -The gang's waiting, that�s what.
Hi.
-Sorry about this afternoon. -That�s all right.
I've brought your present.
It�s not what you wanted.
-We're not going to Majorca. -Ibiza then?
Not there either.
It�s no use, Cesar.
You haven't even considered giving me a chance.
You'd be a good chance to take, if I wanted to fool myself.
You're not my chance and I'm not yours.
Happy birthday.
Have a good time.
What�s the matter?
-Isn't your girlfriend staying? -Fuck off!
Tosser!
Conchi...
...know what I fancy? -You can't still be hungry.
No, it�s not that.
I'd like to try one of those pills you sell.
But...
Later, later.
-Now I want you to have this. -Let�s see.
I bought it for you.
It�s lovely, Mariano.
I saw it in the shop and thought you'd look really pretty in it.
Thank you.
And I got something for me.
I always wanted one of these things.
How's that?
Or like that?
Mariano!
Conchi...
always remember me like this.
Come on, Mao. That�s enough for today.
And your girl's waiting for you.
Go on, that�s enough.
-Wait a minute. -What?
Here.
-A little bonus for tonight. -Thanks.
-Hey, Mao... -Yes?
I was wondering.
Why did such a good cook leave China?
-For love. -For love.
That�s because you're young.
But after 4O years with the same one, love turns to shit.
Love like plant. If you no water every day, it dies.
Goodnight, Mr. Lolo.
The Chinese are crazy!
Yes, hello?
Shit, Rosalia! Rosalia, where are you?
No, no, no... I'm not nervous, damnit!
Yes.
Yes, I know but... Where are you?
What do you mean "guess"? Guessing games again!
No, I didn't say anything. Where are you?
Yes.
How the hell should I know? I'm not clairvoyant.
Rosalia!
Rosalia.
You fucked up again, Manuel.
Hey, Mao, this is fucking great.
-What did you say it was? -"Foie gras" in port and sake.
Well, it�s cured last night�s hangover.
Good for cleaning liver.
The Chemical Brothers with a hangover must be pretty bad.
Here.
On the house.
-Thanks a lot. -A pleasure.
Hey, how long's your contract with Lolo?
Six months. Double pay August because Mao alone.
-Lolo come back September. -Great, right?
-Very good. -Tell me...
-You're Chinese, right? -Yes.
How did Bruce Lee die?
The Master still alive.
Unbelievable!
Excuse me. Raquel Merino, first floor?
-Yes. -Good. Thanks.
I wrote it down with this pen they gave me on the plane.
Then they lost my case.
They said don't worry, it�s in Tokyo.
-You're Edgardo. -Do you know me?
-Give this to Raquel? -Yes.
-Tell her it�s fixed. -Hi-tech, huh?
Why bother to fix videos when you can get a DVD for $9O?
-Yes? -Yes. Edgardo.
Thanks.
Well?
-Is chickpea girl on holiday? -No. I'm the one who's on holiday.
So...
coming to Benicassim and the Italian girls?
-Got a sleeping bag? -No.
Serves you right for being so stupid. I told you so.
Did you know some people spend hours on end at a computer...
to get money out of people on mobiles?
Well, don't bring your mobile.
CAPTIONS BY VIDEOLAR