Morty 快跑 Morty, hurry!
归还真理龟 Return the Truth Tortoise!
Morty 千万别把真理龟砸地上 Morty, whatever you do, don’t drop the Truth Tortoise!
还有一点很重要 Also really important,
千万不要直视它的眼睛 whatever you do, don’t look into its eyes!
我 我看了 Rick 我一直在看呢 I-I did look at it, Rick! I’ve been looking at it!
现在你就要知晓一切了 Morty Now you’re gonna know everything, Morty!
太棒了 恭喜你搞砸了一切 Good job! Way to go! You tucked everything up!
都在我脑子里了 It's in my head! [Screams]
哦天啦 我没法忘掉真理龟 Oh, geez, I-I can’t get that Truth Tortoise out of my head.
我跟你说了别直视它的眼睛 Yeah, I told you not to look into its eyes.
来 Morty 我们看跨维度电视吧 Hey, Morty, let’s watch some interdimensional cable.
就像以前那样 Remember how we used to do that?
Rick 我 我撑不下去了 Rick, I can’t -- I can’t go on.
我 我没法想着 I-I can’t go on like this
真理龟的事继续生活 with the Truth Tortoise shit in my head.
我 我希望你可以 I-I wish you could just --
从你的脑海里删除这段记忆 Erase the memory from your mind?
你怎么知道我要说什么 How did you know I was gonna say that?
Morty 跟我来 Come on, Morty, come with me.
请吧 After you.
这他妈是什么 What the hell is this?!
Morty 这是我用来 This, Morty, is my archive
陈列着所有你求我删除的人生经历的档案室 of all the experiences you’ve begged me to remove
免得你发疯 from your life, lest you go insane.
我管这些叫Morty的摧心时刻 I call them Morty’s Mind Blowers.
接下来就欣赏这个吧 不看跨维度电视了 And we’ll be doing this instead of interdimensional cable.
我什么时候开始让你给我删除记忆的 How long have I been asking you to remove memories?
从你的心理防线第一次被摧毁开始 Since the first [burps] time your mind was blown.
在这儿呢 Ahh, here it is. [ Burps]
经典 Classic. [Blows]
上面没看灰尘 There’s no dust on it because
因为这不是我们第一次搞这个 this isn’t the first time we’ve done this.
啥 What?!
我管这个叫"月球阴谋" l call this one “Moonspiracy”!
哇 不可思议 MORTY: Huh, wow. That’s incredible.
什么鬼 What the heck?
Morty 你知道你说的话有多荒谬吗 Morty, do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?
是啊 Morty 疯狂的故事 Yeah, pretty crazy story, Morty.
你认真的吗 Are you serious?
跟我们见过的东西相比 你觉得这个很疯狂 Half the crap we’ve seen, and you think that sounds crazy?
我去过300个版本的地球的月球 I’ve been to 300 versions of Earth’s moon,
也包括这一个 但我从来没见过 including this one, and I’ve never seen signs
你所描述的 "一个普通男人"的迹象 of a “regular dude,” as you describe him,
在那儿上面 hanging out up there.
可能只是镜头上的脏东西 It’s probably just a smudge on the lens.
镜头上的脏东西 镜头上的脏东西 Smudge on the lens? Smudge on the lens?!
我能分清一个吓唬我的男人 I know the difference between a man threatening me
和镜头上的脏东西 Summer and a smudge on the goddamn lens, Summer!
冷静点 Morty 你还好吗 Morty, calm down! Are you feeling okay?
我很好 I’m fine!
太敏感了 So sensitive.
同学们这位是我们新来的 PRINCIPAL VAGINA: Kids, I’d like to introduce you all
辅导员Lunas(月亮)先生 to our new guidance counselor, Mr. Lunas.
我很期待为大家的远大前途指路 I look forward to helping guide you all
我相信每个学生都该壮志凌云 towards a brighter future.
欲上青天揽明月 I believe every student should...shoot for the moon.
抓到你的把柄了 混蛋 Got you now, you son of a bitch.
这是什么 What’s this?
证据 证明Lunas先生不像表面那么简单 Proof that Mr. Lunas isn’t who he says he is!
他难道不是个辅导员吗 He’s not a guidance counselor?
我 我想他应该够格当辅导员 谁都够格 I-I assume he’s qualified to be one. Who isn’t?
但他同时还生活在月球上 But he also lives on the moon.
好的 Okay.
然后呢 Hmm. Is that it?
他是否做了伤害别人的事 Is he doing anything to hurt anyone?
噢 他肯定在盘算着做点什么 Oh, he’s up to something.
我想我明白了 I think I understand.
"做点什么" "生活在月球上" “Up to something,” “lives on the moon.”
好吧 我去跟他谈谈 Okay, I’ll talk to him.
他怎么说 What did he say?
他否认了关于月球的事 不过恋童癖都是这样 Denied the moon stuff, but that’s what pedophiles do.
他们会否认 他们以此谋生 They deny. It’s their bread and butter.
- 什么恋童癖 - 你不是这个意思吗 -Pedophile? -You don’t think so?
我以为生活在月球上是个什么暗语 I thought the moon thing might have been code.
不 他是字面意义上的来自于月球 No, he’s literally from the moon!
呃 你看到他的反应了 Well, you saw him react.
不管月球不月球的 那家伙绝对喜欢年轻的 Moon or not, that dude likes ‘em young.
Gordon Lunas曾是一名优秀的海军陆战队员 Gordon Lunas was a good Marine.
我们不知道有什么事会让他选择自杀 We don’t know what drove him to take his own life,
但我们想要记住那些美好的事情 but we want to remember the good things.
比如 人们经常会说 Like how, from a certain angle,
从某个角度看上去 他长得像一片污迹 some people would say he looked like a smudge.
我的天 我都干了些什么 Oh, my God, what have I done?
我干了些什么啊 What have I done?
天哪 我害得那个人自杀了 Jesus, I made that guy kill himself!
只是字面意义上而已 Only in a literal sense.
我叫这一个"Morty的私人动物园" Here’s one I call “Morty’s [burp] Menagerie.”
不过 不是所有的片段都有标题 They don’t all have titles, though.
这不是<辛普森一家>的万圣节特辑 IVs not a “Simpsons” Halloween special,
这更像是你从没见过的片段的片段展映 more like a clip show made of clips you never saw!
我简直无法相信我们被扔进了私人动物园 I can’t believe we got put into a menagerie.
所以这人爱好收集活物吗 So this guy collects living beings?
是啊 就像那些收集人物纪念盘的 RICK: Yeah, you know like commemorative plates,
不过没那么惹人烦 but less off-putting.
要是你到40岁时仍要经常约会 你也会理解的 You’ll get it when you’re still actively dating in your 40s.
有本事面不改色地鉴赏下这个啊 Assess this with cold indifference,
你个圆头混账 you veiny-headed prick!
嘿 小声点 -[ Crash! ] -Hey, keep it down!
我们这运气 给关在 Just our luck, menagerie beneath
G七星的石头人下边儿 the “boulder people” of Granitor Seven.
我受不了了 Rick I can’t take it anymore, Rick!
放松 Morty -[ Banging] -Relax, Morty!
我没法放松 Rick 我 我们得逃出这个地方 I can’t relax! R-R-Rick, we -- we gotta get outta here!
我不管用什么方法 什么都行 I don’t care what it takes! Anything!
- 什么都行吗 - 都行 -Anything? -Anything!
好吧 不过你得把你的衣服脱了 All right, well, you’re gonna have to take off your shirt.
不是现在 我会告诉你什么时候的 Not yet. Ill tell you when.
天哪 Dear God.
怎么了 What?
这个信号居然是 The signal turned out to be --
没有其他说法来描述它了 there’s no other way to put it --
- 指南 - 什么东西的 -Instructions. -For?
飞行器 先生 一台穿越星际的飞行器 A vehicle, sir, an interstellar vehicle.
我们需要一个飞行员 不知道有没有志愿者 We’ll need a pilot. I wonder if there’s a volunteer.
图表上明确表示需要一个身材矮小的副驾驶 Oh, the schematics specify a second, smaller pilot.
我是说 这方面写得真的很明确 I mean, they really specify smaller.
必须正好是1米6 They have to be exactly 5’3”.
Chang 虽然你主修的是文科 Chang, you may have majored in Liberal Arts,
但是你将要创造历史了 but I think you’re about to make history.
主要系统 检查完毕 WOMAN: Primary systems, check.
辅助系统 检查完毕 Auxiliary systems, check.
很快就见到你喽 See you soon.
好的 现在 Okay, now.
你们好 Greetings.
你是 你看起来 You’re -- You look...
我们采用了你们的心智可以接受的形态 We’ve possessed forms your mind can accept.
这两件传统服装是送你们的礼物 Here are some customary clothing gifts.
请穿上吧 Please, put them on.
- 可以吗 - 当然可以 -May we? -Of course, yes.
我们遵照了你的指示 We followed your instructions.
我们还有很多需要向你学习的地方 We have so much to learn from you.
可不是嘛 I know, right?
嘿 我为什么能看见其他人的记忆呢 Hey, how come I was able to see those other people’s memories?
我又不在场 I-I wouldn’t have been around for that.
是啊 有时候我得稍微编辑一下 Morty Yeah, sometimes I gotta do a little editing, Morty.
这样 再看这些催心的时刻 It helps the mind blowers
播放效果会好一些 play a little bit better upon revisiting.
我把这个叫做"一整份儿墨西哥卷儿" I call this one “The Whole Enchilada.
给你 Morty 有了这个你的尿就能喝了 Here, Morty, this’ll make your urine drinkable.
现在我们能接着买东西了吧 Now can we keep shopping?
我是Zikzak I am Zikzak.
我操 Morty 躲到我身后 这是个外星霸主 Ah, shit, Morty, get behind me. It’s a fucking alien overlord!
没关系的 给你 It’s okay. Here.
噢 我搞错了 Oh, I misjudged.
"我是个Floop星人 请杀掉我吧" MORTY: “I am Floop Floopian. Please kill me.”
这就对了 Morty That’s right, Morty.
Floop星人死后可以获得无尽欢愉的永生 The Floop Floopians achieve an eternal orgasmic afterlife,
只要他们被一个伟大的战士杀掉 so long as they’re killed by a great warrior.
我真是受宠若惊啊 顺便提一句 真是太谢谢你了 I’m flattered, by the way. Thank you very much.
所以你要杀了他 So you’re gonna kill him?
咱们先吃点午饭吧 Eh, let’s get some lunch first.
你想在脑门上挨一枪 还是 So, you want to get shot in the head, or --
呃 只要是致命伤就可以 Well, as long as the wound is fatal,
我其实并不介意你开枪打哪个部位 I don’t really mind where you shoot me.
好的 我去拉屎 很快回来 Cool. I’m gonna go take a quick shit.
呃 我不得不说 你知道的 我有点嫉妒 Well, I gotta say. You know, I’m a little envious.
你们这类物种有实实在在的来生 Your species has an actual afterlife.
那肯定很棒 That’s gotta be nice.
什么 你是什么意思 Wh-What do you mean?
噢 你知道的 在地球上 我们并不清楚究竟是怎么回事 Well, you know, here on Earth, w-we don’t know what’s going on.
你们有来生 一定很棒 It must be nice for you guys to, you know, have that --
而且板上钉钉 你知道的 就是有真凭实据 have that proof’s in the pudding, you know, evidence.
真凭实据 应该有真凭实据吗 Evidence? There’s supposed to be evidence?
噢 是的 Urn, yeah, uh...
不然的话 你怎么知道那是不是真的 Otherwise, how do you know if it’s true?
等一等 你没有 Wait, you don’t...
好了 所以 你想在这儿还是去外面受死 All right, so you want to do this here or outside?
快跑 Run!
我不想死 I don’t wanna die!
哦 老天爷啊 这全是真的 嗷 好疼 Oh, God, it’s all real! Oh, it hurts!
噢 我就不应该怀疑 Oh, I shouldn’t have doubted it!
我就不该被你左右 心存疑虑 I shouldn’t have let you make me doubt it!
啊 都怪你 都怪你 Aah! I blame you, I blame you!
但是他当时说了 什么证据也没有 But he said there wasn’t any evidence!
那可是一堆证据 That was a ton of evidence!
呃 算是个小小的慰藉吧 Well, silver lining.
现在我知道了 他们的信仰是真的 Now I know their religion’s real.
他们有地狱 而且看起来可不咋地啊 They have a hell, and it does not look good.
我注意到 你没吃完你的煎肉卷 I noticed you never finished your chimichanga,
所以现在我给它空了点位置出来 懂我意思吧 so I got some room for it now, if you know what I mean.
天呐 Holy shit!
这种事情里面 有多少就是我犯下的可怕错误 How many of these are just horrible mistakes I’ve made?
如果我能从里面得到点教训的话 I mean, maybe I’d sTop making so many
或许我以后能少犯点错 if I let myself learn from them!
别费劲儿给自己上课了 Morty Don’t break your back creating a lesson, Morty.
这是个自由风格的选集 It’s a freeform anthology.
你不听我说话让我觉得挺生气的 I’m getting annoyed you’re not hearing that.
就像你看到的 你脑子崩过的次数根本数不清 As you can see around me, your mind’s been blown
而且也并不是每次都因为你 countless times, and not always by yourself.
妈的 我甚至没有 Ah, shit, I don’t even --
最好别是个精彩的 This better not have been a good one.
这是啥来着 What is this?
棒极了 "鼻屎艾滋" "艾滋鼻屎" Great, “Booger AIDS,” “AIDS Booger.”
我得开始用真正的归档名称了 I gotta start using real file names.
同时 希望你喜欢这个随机挑选的摧心时刻 In the meantime, enjoy a grab bag
我把它命名为"重要的便便艾滋备份" of mind blowers I call “Poop AIDS underscore copy.”
我不是个不讲理的人 Beth Smith ALIEN WARLORD: I’m not an unreasonable man, Beth Smith.
我知道对于哺乳动物来说 子女就是一切 I know children are everything to a mammal.
我会留下一个活口 I will spare one of their lives.
你只需做个选择 You simply have to choose.
Summer Summer Summer! Summer.
你敢信么 You’re not gonna believe this.
我把Phoebe(土卫九)当Titan(土卫六) 跑那儿去了 I went to Phoebe instead of Titan.
感觉就像 嗨 土星 卫星数目超过十个了 It's, like, hello, Saturn, after 10 moons,
是不是就该用编号替代名字了啊 time to sTop naming and start numbering, you know?
你们 你们这是怎么了混蛋们 What’s -- Wh-What’s with you assholes?
Morty 求你了 别这样 Morty, please, don’t do this.
你们的Morty已经死了 [Voice echoing] Your Morty is gone!
我是Voltamatron 诸界的毁灭者 I am Voltamatron, Destroyer of Worlds!
Rick外公 一定有什么科学的手段能救他 Grandpa Rick, there must be some scientific way to save him!
不算科学 但是确实有个办法 Not scientific, but there may be a way.
Morty 我知道你还在 是我 你的外公 Morty, I know you’re in there. It’s me, your grandpa.
我知道我有时候很刻薄 但是我爱你 Morty I know I can be mean, but I love you, Morty.
我们都很爱你 你要奋起抵抗 We all do. You gotta fight this thing.
我知道你可以的 你比我们所有人都要更强 I know you can. You’re stronger than all of us!
Morty 是妈妈啊 我们爱你 你必须战胜它 Morty, it’s Mom! We love you. You have to fight it!
加油 Morty 战胜那个傻逼虫子 Come on, Morty! Fight that stupid worm thing!
我们爱你 -We love you! -[ Screaming]
我们超级爱你 SUMMER: We love you so much!
没错 Morty 加油 你做的很棒 RICK: Yes, Morty, come on, you’re doing it!
你做的很棒 你做的很棒 You’re doing it! You’re doing it!
我们该去拉一下么 Should we pull it out?
不 别碰那玩意 继续爱Morty就行了 No, don’t touch it. Just keep loving Morty!
我们还在爱你 We still love you.
但是我六点钟确实有点事 But I do have a thing at 6:00.
喔 天啊 我们必须一直在边上看着么 Oh, God, do I have to keep looking?
天啊 Morty 夹断都成 Geez, Morty, come on, pinch it off already!
别 喔天啊 对不起 Morty 我爱你哟 Don’t! Oh, God, sorry, Morty. I love you!
天 过一段时间会有中场休息么 God, is there going to be an intermission?
不好意思 但是我订的邪恶太空虫是大份的 Excuse me, but I ordered the large evil space worm.
我知道 感觉就像 是有个魔鬼蛞蝓在你胃里 I know, it’s like, is that a demon slug in your stomach,
还是你只是喜欢去 or are you just happy to --
对不起 -[ Screaming] -Sorry!
好吧 知道所有家人都糟透了挺不错的 Well, I guess it’s nice to know the whole family sucks!
所以 如果蓝色代表的是我犯的错 So if the blue ones are my fault
紫色的代表的是我家人的 那红色的是什么 and the purple ones are my family’s, what are the red ones?
好吧 别想太多 Morty Yeah, d-don’t read into it, Morty!
操 我们必须在日落之前找到藏身的地方 Morty Shit! We need to find shelter before the sunset, Morty.
V九星晚上的温度可以达到零下300度 Venzenulon Nine has a night temperature of 300 below!
我们会冻死的 Morty 几秒就会被冻死的 We’ll freeze, Morty! W-We’ll be dead in seconds!
我 我记得我在那边看到过一个山洞 I-I think I saw a cave over there.
你电影看太多了 Morty You’ve seen too many movies, Morty.
一个山洞根本不够 我们得靠Beebo A cave isn’t gonna cut it. We’re gonna have to use Beebo.
是Beebo带我们找到了水源 他是我们的朋友 Beebo led us to water! He’s our friend!
- 他不会感到痛苦的 - 喔 别 别 -He won’t even feel it! -Oh, no, no!
你想死吗 Morty 快躲到Beebo里面 You wanna die, Morty? Get in Beebo!
哦 不 不 Oh, no, no!
准备迎接冰点低温的降临 Brace for the ice limit.
来啦 Here it comes!
等下 我们是在V九星球还是V七星球 Wait, are we on Venzenulon Nine or Venzenulon Seven?
等等 为什么我会想要消除这段记忆 Wait a minute. Why would I ask for that to be removed?
还是说红色的这些都是你想让我消除的记忆 Are the red ones stuff you wanted removed?
哦 这想法很聪明 Morty 但我才不会用颜色来做分类整理 Ooh, that’s clever, Morty, but I don’t use color to sort things
因为我不是欧洲儿童读物里的老鼠 because I’m not a mouse in a European children’s book.
那为什么那些粉红色的记忆管都放在酒的边上 Then why are all those pink ones by the liquor?
酒 Liquor?
- 擦 刚才好险 - Sky队长死了 -Shit, that was close. -We lost Captain Sky.
他为起义献出了生命 He gave his life for the uprising.
是啊 这事儿真引人深思 Morty Yeah. It really makes you think, huh, Morty?
我们不该把事情都看做理所岗然 We should never take things for granite.
- 什么 - 我只是说 人生苦短 -What? -I’m just saying, life’s short.
我们不该把事情都看做理所岗然 We shouldn’t take things for granite.
- 你说的是"理所岗然" - 是啊 -Are you saying “granite”? -Well, yeah.
是"理所当然" 读"dang" It’s “granted,” with a “D.”
是把事情看做理所当然 难道你一直都说的是 Take things for granted. Did you actually think it was --
天啊 Rick [ Laughs] Jesus Christ, Rick,
你是块石头吗 还是石头人(Granite 花岗岩) what are you, a boulder -- a rock person?
你这样说错多久了 How long have you been saying that wrong?
哦 你喜欢这个是吗 Oh, you like that, huh?
我猜 猜这肯定让你挺爽的吧 I b-b-bet that really blows your mind.
是的 还挺棒的 I mean, yeah, it’s kind of great.
- 你想要我消除这段记忆吗 - 什么 你还能这么干 -You want me to erase it? -What, you can do that?
妈呀 -[ Buzzing] -Ah, shit.
我他妈就知道 你个人渣 I fucking knew it, you piece of shit!
你 你 你他妈是个混蛋 Rick You -- You -- You’re a fucking asshole, Rick!
别激动啊 Morty 拜托 放轻松 Take it easy, Morty. Come on. Just relax.
不 我才不要他妈地放轻松 给老子过来 No, I’m not gonna fucking relax! Come here!
放开我 小贱人 Let go ot me, you little bitch!
- 我要他妈好好制住你个 - 接招吧 - I’m gonna grab you by the scruff of your -Take that! -Ohh!
- 唔 - 唔 -U mm. -U mm. Uhh.
- 什么 - 怎么回事 -What -- -What’s going on?
- 我在哪儿 - 我们是谁 -Where am I? -Who are we?
我是谁 Who am I?
我觉得我是个少年 l think I’m an adolescent boy.
我是个老头 Huh, and I’m an elderly man.
看起来我们应该是处于某个秘密的封闭空间 And we appear to be in some kind of secret confined space.
是的 嗯 -Yeah, umm...
别这么看着我 Don’t look at me like that.
搞不好你才是这里的怪胎 For all we know, you could be the fuckin’ weirdo.
这些东西显然是储存单位 Huh, these things are obviously storage units,
既然我们都不记得发生了什么 and since we can’t remember what went wrong,
我猜这是和记忆有关的科技 my guess is that the technology involves memory
而你脑袋上的这个东西是设计用来 and that this thing on your head is designed to...
告诉我们密码 蠢货 Tell us the code, jagoff!
没用了 他在负隅顽抗 It’s pointless. He’s stonewalling.
Rick 如果我们不能解锁那些疫苗的话 地球就完蛋了 Rick, if we don’t unlock those vaccines, Earth dies!
是时候加强一下你的审讯手段了 You know, it might be time to step up your interrogation!
我不确定你想表达的意思 Morty Not sure what you’re implying, Morty,
但有些底线我是不会越过的 but some lines I don’t cross.
在这个混蛋想要杀Jessica的时候 Yeah, well, I crossed every line I had
我就已经越过了我所有的底线了 when this bastard tried to kill Jessica!
好吧 你看他下巴下面有两块肉肉的囊 Morty Okay, see those two fleshy sacs under his chin, Morty?
抓着它们 Grab ‘em.
你现在记得密码是多少了吗 You remember the codes now?
用力拧 -Twist! -[ Screaming]
告诉我们密码 老兄 用力拧 Morty Give us the codes, man! Twist harder, Morty!
用力 -Harder! -[ Screaming]
好了 放手 放手 让他呼吸 Okay, let go, let go, let him breathe.
他想做一笔交易 He wants to make a deal.
现在先给一半的密码 等你做完以后再给另一半 Half the codes now, half after you finish.
但是我们可以相信 等等 什么 But can we trust -- Wait, what?
做 做完什么 F-Finish what?
你 你知道的 Y-You know.
我以为我在折磨他 I thought I was torturing him!
噢 所以这让你失望了 Oh, and this disappoints you?
你要我告诉他不做这笔交易了 Morty Do I tell him we don’t have a deal, Morty?
因为我们可以杀死我们的敌人 Because if we can kill our enemies
但我们不能给他们撸一炮 那我们又比他们高级在哪里 but we can’t jack them off, then how are we better than them?
好吧 你发现了什么 Well, what did you find out?
我们是搭档 我猜 We’re partners, I guess,
然后我们对抗外星人 像"黑衣人"里一样 and we fight aliens, like “Men in Black”?
"黑衣人" "黑衣人" “Men in Black,” “Men in Black.”
我记得"黑衣人2"是什么 I have “Men in Black 2” in here.
所以 所以你大致懂了 So -- So you get the general idea.
并没有 [ Laughs] Not quite.
只是没完没了的一连串老梗 It's basically an endless string of callbacks to --
行了 想说啥留着传油管吧 我要继续找线索了 All right, save it for YouTube. I’ll keep looking for clues.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
你到底要不要水平的架子 You want your shelf level or not?
如果我说想 你还能用这个给我做出来不成 And if I say yes, you’re gonna provide that for me with that?
是的 看到气泡了吗 Yes, see the bubble?
我很熟悉气泡 Morty I’m familiar with the bubble, Morty.
我还对精确性有些研究 I also dabble in precision,
如果你认为用你可怜的 穴居人水平的肉眼 and if you think you can even approach it with your sad, naked, caveman eyeball
和一个破气泡 可以接近水平 and a bubble of fucking air,
你就是人类这物种为啥是失败品的原因 you’re the reason this species is a failure,
这让我生气 and it makes me angry!
你喝醉了 You’re drunk.
如果你想搭架子 那你就好好搭 You want to put up a shelf, put up a shelf.
你是想体验下真正的水平吗 You want to experience true level?
- 是吗 - 行吧 -Do you? -[ Sighs dramatically] Y-yes.
好了 来吧 Ugh, all right, come on.
哇 这真是太 Wow, it’s so --
噢 噢 噢 噢 天哪 噢 妈呀 噢 噢 噢 Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God, oh, Christ, ooh, ooh, ooh, ahh.
噢 是的 绝对水平 小崽子 Oh, yeah, true level, bitch.
Morty 怏点 我们要去上学了 Morty, come on, we’re leaving for school.
噢 一切都不平整 现实就像是毒药 Oh, everything’s crooked! Reality is poison!
我想要回去 我讨厌这样 I want to go back! I hate this!
他怎么了 -What’s his deal? -Can’t live like this!
- 不能这样活着 - 嘘 嘘 嘘 嘘 Morty Morty Morty Shh, shh, shh, shh, Morty, Morty, Morty.
你去上学吧 Summer 我要进到Morty的记忆里 Go to school, Summer. I’ll go in Morty’s memory
然后做一些 and do a little -- [Clicks tongue]
我为鱼肉 整个宇宙都是刀俎 Lambs to the cosmic slaughter!
怎么样 Well?
我能记住什么好像归你管 You seem to be in charge of what I get to remember.
为什么 Why?
好问题 Good question.
Morty 我需要黑暗的环境来制备这些光学指示剂 Morty, I need darkness to prime these optical inductors.
帮我拉一下门旁边最靠左的灯光开关 Hit the leftmost light switch by the door for me.
左边 The left.
好了 开灯 Okay, lights on.
所以 我刚刚是不是听到了三次不同的开关声音 So, did I just hear three distinct light switch clicks?
你 你说什么 W-W-What do you mean?
我觉得这三次声音可以解释成 I feel like the three sounds I heard could be explained
最开始错误的拉了右边的开关 by an initial erroneous flipping of a switch on the right
接着是匆忙地拉了正确的 followed by a hasty, corrective flipping
我要你拉的开关 of the requested switch.
然后在黑暗和寂静中 第三次 Then during the resultant darkness and silence, a third,
羞耻地拉了最开始拉措的开关 shameful unflipping of the initially flipped switch.
是不是都让我说中了 Is my assessment accurate?
是吧 那个 你基本都说对了 Yeah, that’s -- that’s basically how -- how it all shaked out.
我很抱歉 I’m sorry.
行吧 那我们走吧 Ugh. All right, come on.
- 什么 - 我说 快 来 -What?! -Come on!
拿把铲子 -[ Click, tone ends] -Grab a shovel.
这 这是 W-What is --
给我拿把铲子 Grab a shovel!
你又干嘛了 What was that?
我他妈怎么一条拉链带都找不到了 I can’t find a goddamn zip tie anywhere!
对了 不管它了 All right, fuck it!
有拉链带了 Ahh, zip tie.
为什么又要我给你装这个仪器 Why are you making me do this for you again?
谁不想和动物说话啊 Rick Who doesn’t wish they could talk to animals, Rick?
大多数人都不想 Most humans!
好了 装好了 别给自己惹麻烦 There, I’m done. Just stay out of trouble!
保持移动 不能停下来 Gotta keep moving. Can’t sTop.
上 下 下 上 上 上 下 上 停 再下 Up, down, down, up, up, up, down, up, sTop, down.
蚁后需要食物 孩子们需要食物 The queen needs food. The babies need food.
蚁后生孩子 The queen makes babies.
事实证明阿根廷的情况 MALE VOICE: The situation in Argentina
没有预期的那么方便动手 has proven less convenient than predicted.
我们还要再次动摇他们的经济 We’ll have to re-destabilize their economy,
自上而下地聚集工人阶层的愤怒 refocus labor class outrage from upper to middle,
策动一场政变 然后扶植顺从的政府 foster a coup, and install a compliant regime.
就像危地马拉一样 MALE SQUIRREL: Same as Guatemala?
是的 但能加快一倍 Yes, but you can double-time it.
我们需要集会来选一个新的教皇 We need a quorum to pick a new pope
以免Exxon/Monsanto联合公司的事在非洲失败了 in case the Exxon/Monsanto thing falls through in Africa.
为什么不利用飞机尾迹喷洒化学物质 喷满乌干达的天空 Why not use chemtrails? Put a canopy on Uganda.
他们本来就容易在任何 怎么了 They’re set to agitate any mo-- What?
那孩子在看我们 That kid is watching us.
那又怎样 我们是松鼠 他只是个孩子 So, we’re squirrels. He’s a kid.
他看着我们的样子就像他听得懂我们说话 He’s watching us like he hears what we’re saying.
嘿 孩子 小伙子 你给我过来 小男孩 Hey, kid. Young man? Come here, little boy.
告诉Daphne执行199号 或发现能听懂动物交流的人类 Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Dolittle.
小男孩 Little boy!
如果你能听到我们说话 我们可以满足你的愿望 We’ll give you wishes if you can hear us!
我们可以让你飞起来还可以给你糖果 We can make you fly and get candy.
我操 我错了 我错了 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Fuck me! Fuck me!
Rick [ Panting ] Rick!
我操 Morty 你又干了什么 RICK: Ah, shit, Morty, what did you do?
听着 Morty 快去收拾你的东西 All right, Morty, pack your shit!
这玩意只能拖延他们一小会 快 Morty That’s only gonna keep ‘em down for a little bit, Morty!
你竟然惹到了松鼠 Morty You fucked with squirrels, Morty!
在他们追上我们之前 We got a good five minutes
我们只剩下五分钟了 Morty before they’re backing up on our ass, Morty!
我们必须要收拾东西去一个新的世界 Morty We have to pack up and move to a new reality, Morty!
你知道我早就说了这事儿我们干不了几次 You know I said we could only do that a couple of times!
就因为这些该死的松鼠 我们在这已经玩完了 Morty We’re fucked over here because of these damn squirrels, Morty!
虽然我不知道我本来的反应应该怎样 I don’t know what my reaction is,
但是我感觉越来越怀疑你了 but I think I’m mounting in suspicion of you.
- 那你准备怎么做 - 我要记起所有发生的事情 -Well, what are you gonna do? -I’m gonna remember everything!
每一件事 Everything!
耶 Yeah!
那你发现什么了 Well, what'd you find out?
喔 喔 喔 你要做什么 要杀了我吗 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you gonna do, kill me?
不 我才不会杀你 我要自杀 No, I’m not gonna kill you. I’m gonna kill myself!
这么多记忆就这样被删掉 All those memories just erased!
就这么放在房间里落灰 Sitting in this room collecting dust!
如果我经历过的所有事情最后都只会堆在这个房间里 W-WhaVs the point of going on if most of everything
那么我继续活着还有什么意义呢 that happens just ends up sitting in here?
那好吧 小子 All right, kid.
我除了知道<黑衣人2> I don’t know much aside from the fact that “Men in Black 2”
是一部无聊的捞钱电影以外知道的不多 但我知道 was a joyless cash grab, but I do know that whatever you have
你小脑瓜里想的这些事儿确实很让你感触 brewing around in your noggin really connected with you.
这是我无法否认的 I can’t deny that,
我同样不能否认我被你的激情鼓舞到了 and I can’t deny that I’m inspired by your passion.
我也要加入 自杀小队 I want in. Suicide pact!
好 好 我们自杀吧 -[ Ray gun powers up] -Yes, yeah, let’s do it!
一起死吧 你个老混蛋 等我数到三 Together, you old son of a bitch! On three!
一 One...
二 Two...
你们又在搞Morty的摧心时刻 You guys doing Morty’s Mind Blowers?
Morty的摧心时刻 Morty’s Mind Blowers?
外公 这是情况三吗 [Sighs] Grandpa, is this a scenario three?
那是啥 你又是谁 Uh, w-what's that, and w-who are you?
天呐 竟然是情况四 Oh, man, it’s a scenario four.
啊 我真是日了 Ugh, fucking God damn it!
就给那么点儿钱还让我干这种破事儿 I don’t get paid enough tor this shit!
附近有美式工匠风小屋 我能闻到 There’s a Craftsman nearby. I can smell it.
哇 啥 啥 Whoa, what -- what --
我能帮你吗 Can I help you?
我们是怎么看着跨维度有线电视睡着了 H-How did we fall asleep during interdimensional cable?
- 对啊 什么鬼 Summer - Summer 你个傻婊子 -Yeah, what the hell, Summer? -Summer, you dumb bitch!
我们睡过去了多久 你个傻婊子 How long were we out, you dumb bitch!
我们错过了多少跨维度电视节目 你个笨婊子 How much interdimensional cable did we miss, you stupid bitch!
我们有多少即兴的喜剧和广告没看 Summer你这个笨婊子 How many improv TV shows with commercials did we miss, Summer?
你怎么能让我们睡着了呢 你个傻婊子 Why did you let us fall asleep?You dumb bitch! You stupid bitch!
算了 Morty 不跟她瞎扯了 All right, Morty, fuck this noise.
咱们出去来一场经典的 Let’s get out ot here and go on a classic
- Rick和Morty的冒险吧 - 好啊 Rick 咱们走 -Rick and Morty adventure. -Yeah, right, Rick, I’m all-in.
怪不得你们俩天天吵架 No wonder you’re constantly fighting
还从来赶不上计划进度 with each other and behind schedule.
- 你说什么 - 没啥 -What? -Nothing.
Rick 有人吗 Rick? Hello?
我就是来拿高尔夫推杆的 Just here for my putter.
Jerry的摧心时刻 Jerry’s Mind Blowers?
跟上那些小子们 Follow the boys!
充电完成 已瞄准阿尔法半人马座 We’re charged and aimed at Alpha Centauri,
准备好传送了 ready for transport.
他们上当了 我们送Gobo回家吧 They fell for it! Let’s send Gobo home!
好嘞 -[ Laughter] -All right!
- 老爸在哪呢 - 他马上就到 -Where’s Dad? -He should be here any second.
真是好笑 Jerry一辈子就想别人关注他 It’s funny, Jerry spent his life seeking attention,
但是最后 人类对Jerry本能的排挤 but in the end, humanity’s instinctive dismissal of him
却救了一个外星人的命 saved an alien’s life.
他知道要去哪 是吧 He knows where to go, right?
嗯 他马上就到了 Yep, any minute now.
成功了吗 你们把Gobo送回家了吗 Did it work? Did you guys get Gobo home?
Gobo在你那儿 你应该把他带到上山的 You have Gobo! You were supposed to bring him to the hill!
才不是呢 他在你车筐里 As if. He was in your basket.
他在你车上 He was in your car!
啊 Oh!
哎呀 他的东西归我了 Oof! Dibs on his stuff.