(慾望無極限)
家庭觀眾已經投好票 The audience at home has voted.
丹東尼、占美你們之中有人今晚就要返歸 Danthony, Jamie. One of you will go home tonight.
另一人可以繼續他的慾望之旅 The other will continue his lustful journey.
老友,你最好打電話給你阿嫲叫她煲定茶等你 Better call your nan, mate. Tell her to put the kettle on.
占美 Jamie.
慾望之旅在此結束 The lust stops here.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
萬歲,好嘢 Whoo-hoo! Yes!
甚麼? What?
-謝謝,喂,謝謝你-嘩 -Thank you. Oy, thank you! -Wow.
-真是...-謝謝大家 -It's bull****. -Thank you!
真是令人大跌眼鏡 That is an absolute shocker.
真不好彩 Unlucky, really.
沒錯,但我們好好彩請到輸家占美來到攝影廠 Yeah, but we are lucky to have with us, here in the studio, loser, Jamie.
小心說話,菲臘我不是普通輸家,是重要輸家 Easy, Phillip. I'm not just a loser, I'm the loser.
占美,首先要問最重要的問題你會不會遵守你對艾美的承諾? Well, Jamie, look, first things first, will you keep your promise to Amy?
-你會等她嗎?-不,不會 -Are you gonna wait for her? -Nah, no.
我只是逢場作戲,你明我的意思嗎? I was just playing a game, do you know what I mean?
在裏面找最煞食的靚女 Find the fittest girl there,
跟她在廁所做愛,然後求婚,全是策略 have sex with her in the toilet, ask her to marry ya. Strategy.
講到策略,你當初決定離開曼城球會 Well, speaking of strategy, you decided to leave your club, Man City,
而且在開季之初離開,為甚麼呢? right at the start of their season. So why?
我必須那樣做,你明我的意思嗎? Just something I had to do, do you know what I mean?
我一知道佐治夏里遜過身 The second that I found out that George Harrison had died,
就明白到我不能再蹉跎歲月 I realized that I had to stop waiting for life to begin.
我要開始冒險,盡情活出生命 Start taking chances. Living life to the fullest.
但佐治夏里遜在20年前已經死了 But George Harrison died 20 years ago.
對,但我最近才知道 Yeah, but I only just found out.
那占美塔特的下一步是甚麼? So what's next for Jamie Tartt?
不知道,回到曼城吧看看祖瑟還會不會歡迎我 Don't know. Back to Man City. If Pep will have me, that is.
說起來真巧合,因為我們有段片 It's funny you mention that 'cause we've got a clip.
你可能會覺得好有趣 You might find this quite interesting.
(曼城隊足球總監,雲拿阿胡加) Any thoughts on Jamie Tartt and his future with Manchester City?
你對占美塔特 還有他回曼城的可能性有甚麼想法嗎?
對,占美 Yes, Jamie.
我和我太太都覺得他和艾美天生一對 You know, my wife and I thought he and Amy were meant for each other.
但不,他不可能回到曼城 But no, he won't be coming back to Man City.
我們祝他好運 We wish him luck.
占美,謝謝你來上節目一如既往,我們好高興見到你 Well, thanks for stopping by, Jamie. Good to see you, as always.
廣告之後回來,科學家真的發現了 When we come back, have scientists really discovered
不會令你吃了難過的低脂吉士醬嗎? low-fat custard that doesn't make you sad?
好得令人難以置信 Sounds too good to be true.
(菲臘與荷莉的《英國早晨》)
唏,占美... Hey! Jamie! Jamie!
好的...當然,來吧 Yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah.
-謝謝你-好的,不用客氣 -Thank you so much... -Yeah. All right, yeah.
-你好嗎?-兄弟,你好嗎? -How's it going, yeah? -You all right, bro?
-好啊-老友,你被炒魷魚真可惜 -Yeah. -Sorry you got sacked, man.
米已成炊 It's how the crisp crumbles.
謝謝...兄弟,簽好了,不,沒關係,對... Thanks, man. Thanks, bruv. There. Nah, you good, man. Yeah, yeah.
老友,哈囉,你好嗎? Hello, mate. How you doing?
-你叫甚麼名字?-史丹利 -What's your name? -Stanley.
史丹利,你喜歡足球,對嗎? Stanley. And you like football, yeah?
-占美,謝謝你-好的,不用客氣 -Thank you, Jamie. -All right. No worries, man. Yeah.
好了,再見,好高興見到你們 All right, see ya later. Nice to meet ya.
老友,我想自己走走,好嗎?謝謝 I actually think I'm gonna walk, mate. Yeah? Nice one.
《乜都得教練》
等陣,你昨晚在這裏過夜? Hold on. You slept here last night?
為甚麼? Why?
昨晚我和珍鬧交,她將我的鎖匙丟落河 Jane and I got in a fight last night, and she threw my keys in the river.
唏,你們就像法蘭仙納杜拉和阿娃嘉娜 Hey, you two are like Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner, you know?
或者法蘭仙納杜拉和美亞花露 或者法蘭和...算了 Or Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow. Or Frank and-- Actually, you know what?
我開始意識到他五時花六時變 I'm starting to realize that Ol' Blue Eyes might've skewed mercurial.
-唏,現在幾點?-9點20分 -Hey, what time is it? -9:20.
好的,我轉頭回來 Right. I'll be back.
搞錯...你聞一下 No, no, no. Smell this.
有巴黎式睡房的味道 A Parisian bedroom.
威爾,講兩句 Will, a word.
-好的,入來-你還好嗎? -Yeah, come in. -You all right?
不,我不好 No, I'm not all right.
你把薰衣草味的衣物柔順劑 放入洗衣機了嗎? Did you put lavender-scented fabric softener in the laundry?
是啊,沒錯 Yes. Yes, I did.
我女朋友喜歡薰衣草 她覺得那味道令人放鬆 My girlfriend loves lavender. She finds it very calming.
不要亂作改動,可能會影響球員們的思路 Don't make changes that could throw off a player's headspace.
對不起,教練 Sorry, Coach.
走吧,出去 Go. Get out.
我們不要運動員放鬆 而是要他們戰意高昂 We don't want calm athletes. We want killer athletes.
沖完涼後也要這樣嗎? Even after they shower?
你在這裏過夜嗎? Did you sleep here?
“睡著了,興許作夢” "Perchance to dream here."
寶貝,謝謝你載我你要入來打聲招呼嗎? Thanks for the ride, babe. Do you wanna pop in? Say hi?
-不要-好的 -No. -Okay.
你今日有甚麼計劃? What you got planned today?
球賽結束前都沒有計劃 Nothing till the match later.
我要教班女仔排442鑽石陣式 I'm going to get the girls to run a 4-4-2 diamond formation
因為那個叫歌歌露達的女仔 在防守方面好鬼標青 'cause that little Kokoruda girl is a fucking beast in defense.
然後我會為你煮藍帶芝士雞扒當晚餐 Then I was going to cook you cordon bleu for dinner.
靚太廚神妮琪拉說 只要把雞肉雙飛開邊,就能鎖住肉汁 Nigella says if you butterfly the chicken, it'll be more moist.
我不知道是哪句令我慾火焚身 I don't know what does it for me more,
是你提到妮琪拉,還是你說了“肉汁” you mentioning Nigella or using the word "moist."
好嘢 Yeah!
-對,很好,這個好-乜都得在搞甚麼? -Yeah, all right. This is good. -What is Ted doing?
可能是思鄉病發作 這架車跟美國那邊的型號比較相似 He's probably homesick. Closest thing he can find to a Dodge Ram.
-謝謝你-祝你比賽順利,好嗎? -Good luck with the match, yeah? -I appreciate you.
早晨,乜都得 Morning, Ted!
嗨,琪麗,哎呀汽車裏的是高大威猛的羅伊肯特嗎? Hi, Keeley! Uh-oh, is that big, bad Roy Kent in there?
抱歉,他好趕時間 Sorry. He's in a big rush.
不要緊,唏,沉默是金,對嗎? That's okay. Hey, you know, "mime is money," right?
-那看來很好玩-對啊,簡直正到爆 -That looked like fun. -Oh, yeah. No, that's a blast.
對我的坐骨神經痛也有幫助 震動真的對我的屁股有益 And it's good for my sciatica too. The vibrations really help out my butt.
-嘩-唏,你看誰來了 -Wow. -Hey, look who's here.
唏 Hey.
那部單車好有型 That's a cool bike.
那不是單車,是變形金剛 That's not a bike, that's a transformer.
對,她真的深不可測,對吧? Yeah, she really is more than meets the eye, ain't she.
唏,莎朗大...醫生 Hey, Doc ...tor Sharon!
早晨 Good morning.
不知道她回來做甚麼呢?她不是功成身退了嗎? What's she doing back here, I wonder? Don't we have direct deposit?
我聽講希堅斯請她留到球季完結 不是嗎? I thought Higgins hired her for the rest of the season, didn't he?
唏,希堅斯你沒有跟我商量,就聘用莎朗醫生嗎? Hey, Higgins. Did you hire Dr. Sharon without running it by me first?
對,我覺得無傷大雅 Yes. I thought it couldn't hurt.
但我應該先問過你的 乜都得,你說得沒錯 But I should've asked you first, Ted. You're absolutely right.
不,我大錯特錯 No, I'm dead wrong.
撞鬼,你是足球運營總監 I mean, heck, you're Director of Football Operations.
你可以自己下決定 You gotta be able to make your own decisions.
但你還是應該先傳短訊通知我 Still, you should've texted me first.
-百分百正確-不,千差萬錯 -That's 100% true. -No, 1,000% false!
你是個大忙人 I mean, you're a busy man!
只要你認為是最好的做法就不會錯 Whatever path you think is best is gonna be best!
但下次你有甚麼計劃 我要你先跟我商量,好嗎? Still, next time you have plans, I want you to run 'em by me first. Okay?
-不,不好-很好,你不必聽我講,我又不是你爹哋 -No, I will not. -Good! Why should you? I ain't your daddy.
好,太好了,我們的團隊增添一名新成員 Okay, great. We got ourselves a new member of the team.
那是好事,我沒有... That's fine. I ain't got no--
為甚麼這裏有我嫲嫲家的氣味? Why's it smell like my nana's house in here?
乜都得 Oh, Ted.
-你聽到會嚇一跳-你快點說 -Wait until you hear this shit. -Do tell, Ricky Bell.
沒有球會要簽你 No one wants you.
甚麼叫做沒有球會要簽我?我可是占美塔特 What you mean no one wants me? I'm Jamie fucking Tartt.
你實在是個大包袱 You're too much of a liability.
你成個賤精那樣,在曼城玩失蹤 You act like an asshole and disappear on Man City.
然後你成個賤精那樣 背著艾美與丹妮絲鬼混 Then you act like an asshole and cheat on Amy with Denise
在按摩浴池偷食 by having Jacuzzi sex.
沒有球會要你 No one wants you.
那西班牙或者德國的球隊呢? What about a team in Spain or Germany?
喂?皇馬,你們要占美塔特嗎? Hello, Real Madrid? Do you want Jamie Tartt?
不要,好的,謝謝,看到未? No. Okay, thank you. See?
你連西班牙話都沒有講 You weren't even speaking Spanish.
也許你是時候專心發展你的電視事業 Maybe it's time for you to focus on your television career.
這位是翠茜,是你的新經理人 This is Tracey, your new talent agent.
有人出高價 請你去伊維薩島參加全新的真人騷 You have an amazing offer for a new reality show in Ibiza.
晚晚食搖頭丸,食足三個禮拜你意下如何? How do you feel about taking ecstasy every night for three straight weeks?
老友,你要幫我 You gotta help me, man.
占美,你知道我視你如己出 Jamie, you know you're like a son to me.
現在你就像我的亡兒,意思是我更愛你了 Now you're like a dead son, which means I love you even more.
我愛莫能助 There's nothing I can do.
乜都得的迎新禮物送到 Ted Lasso Welcome Wagon has arrived.
請你不要這樣闖入來,我可能在治療中 Please don't barge in here like that. I could have been in a session.
對,當然,我道歉 Oh, right. Of course, I'm sorry.
-你找我有甚麼事嗎?-有,不是,我... -Can I help you with something? -Well, yeah. No, I--
你今日初來報到,我帶了點零食給你 I brought you a little somethin' somethin' for your first day at work.
-不用了,謝謝-別這樣 -No, thank you. -Come on, now.
食一啖就好 Just try a little bite, huh?
這就對了 There you go.
乜都得教練,你好細心,但我戒糖的 That's very thoughtful, Coach Lasso. But I don't eat sugar.
講真?嘩,我從未見過戒糖的人 Really? Wow. I've never met someone who doesn't eat sugar.
只聽說過 Only heard about 'em,
他們都住在聖莫尼卡那個鬼地方 and they all live in this godless place called Santa Monica.
相信我,戒糖對大家都好 Trust me, it's in everyone's best interest.
以前我會鯨吞吉百利朱古力條 In a past life, I would inhale a Cadbury's Flake,
語無倫次一個鐘,直到我失去知覺 talk nonsense for an hour until I passed out.
-我打遊戲機也是這樣-怎麼樣? -I'm the same way with video games. -How so?
打機是我在人生中真正喜歡做的事 You know, it's just something in my life that I really enjoy.
但我假裝只要我不准自己打機 But then I pretend that preventing myself from having 'em
我的生活就會變得更好 is somehow making my life better.
但實情是 But in reality,
我只是不准自己做令我開心的事 all I'm doing is depriving myself of something that makes me happy,
而沒有嘗試調整我跟遊戲機的關係 instead of attempting to adjust my relationship to it.
唏,你最喜歡看哪本書? Hey, what's your favorite book?
真有趣 This is interesting.
甚麼?因為我會答《源泉》嗎? What is? That my answer's The Fountainhead?
我明,估不到吧,我可以解釋... I know, curveball, right? I can explain--
不,我指你現在做的事 No, what you're doing here.
這顯然是你與陌生人建立關係的方式 This is obviously your way of connecting with new people.
好合理,令人卸下防備 Makes sense. It's very disarming.
乜都得教練,如果你同意的話我想觀察今日的練習 If it's okay with you, Coach Lasso, I'd like to observe training today.
看看這一切如何運作 See how everything's functioning.
好啊,當然可以 Yeah, no, of course.
對,你有後台通行證,暢通無阻 Yeah, you got a backstage pass. Full access.
謝謝你 Thank you.
好的 Okay.
唏,你知道我... Oh, hey, you know what I--
我會話你知杜拜航空公司怎麼說 And I will let you know what the people from Dubai Air say.
好了,你有問題要問我嗎? All right, you got any questions for me?
在網上交友平台的個人簡介中 寫“我好有錢”是不是很低俗? Is it tacky to say I'm rich on an online dating profile?
如果你寫“我是土豪”就會 Only if you put the word "filthy" in front of it.
對不起... Sorry, sorry.
希堅斯,你真好人,將辦公室讓給莎朗 Higgins, it's very kind that you gave your office to Sharon.
對,萊斯里,你凡事以球會為先 Yes, it's very club-first mentality, Leslie,
但你真的應該要有間辦公室 最好是你個人的辦公室 but you really should have an office, preferably your own.
你說得很對 No, you're absolutely right.
但要將員工踢出他們的辦公室真的好難 It's just very hard to kick an employee out of their workplace home.
那只是權宜之計 It's only temporary.
廣告銷售部的嘉露蓮怎麼樣? What about... Caroline in ad sales?
不,她剛跟人分手 No, she's going through a breakup.
而且她的辦公室就在大笑姑爺里安隔籬 Plus, she's right next door to Laughing Liam.
他為人友善,但是... Lovely man, but...
唏,希堅斯,這位新朋友是誰? Hey, Higgins. Who's your new friend here?
你好,羅拔,我是乜都得,沒錯 Oh, hi, Robert. My name's Ted. Yep.
唏,我叫占美 Hey, my name's Jimmy.
占美皮“紙”? Jimmy Paper?
是皮治,我樣衰了對不起,那是個好名,可惡 Page! I goofed that. I'm sorry, that was a great one. Dang it.
唏,老闆 Hey, boss.
-給你-謝謝 -Here you go. -Thank you.
這是怎麼了? What's this?
我原本將你的餅乾送給莎朗醫生 I tried to give your biscuits to Dr. Sharon.
-你說甚麼?-但原來她戒糖 -You did what? -Evidently she doesn't eat sugar.
-真是衰到貼地的賤精-對 -What a fucking asshole. -Yeah.
莉碧嘉,你見過心理治療師嗎? You ever been to a therapist, Rebecca?
見來做甚麼?我隨時可以為自己診斷 What for? I can diagnose myself in a heartbeat.
我以為要做到無堅不摧才能保護自己 I thought being invulnerable would protect me,
於是多年來我將追求者推開 直接令我最恐懼的事情發生 so I pushed people away for years, leading me directly to my greatest fear:
孤獨終老,又如何? Being alone. Big whoop.
對,又如何?我不明白 Big whoop, yeah. I don't get it.
朋友能免費為你做的事 為甚麼要付錢請別人做? Why pay someone to do what a friend should do for you for free?
全中,那就是交朋友的目的,不是嗎? Exactly. I mean, that's why you have friends, isn't it?
分擔你的問題和不安,對吧? To burden them with your issues and anxieties, right?
對,沒錯 Right. Yeah.
對,講開又講,你有心事想傾傾嗎? Yeah. Speaking of, you got anything you wanna get off your chest?
沒有,你呢? No. You?
沒有 No.
-你看,就這麼簡單-沒錯,對,好的 -See, there you have it. -Exactly. Yeah, okay.
老闆,遲些見 See you later, boss.
-給你,琪麗-謝謝,雅莉 -There you go, Keeley. -Thanks, Alex.
占美 Jamie?
我不是跟蹤你 I'm not stalking ya.
我跟住你行幾條街 I've been following you for a few blocks now,
我無法傳短訊給你 因為我刪除了你的號碼 and I couldn't text you 'cause I deleted your number.
總之,我來到城裏,想跟你傾傾 So, I was in town, and I wanted to talk to you
因為我離開曼城去參加真人騷 'cause I left Man City to do this reality TV show thing,
結果兩頭不到岸,現在我不知道要做甚麼 and I got kicked off of both. So now I don't know what I'm doing,
我只是想找人傾傾,因為... but I just wanted to talk to someone about it 'cause--
只要我想到傾偈,就會想起你 And whenever I think of talking, I think of you...
所以我跟住你行幾條街 So I've been following you for the last few blocks.
不,我講大話 No, I'm lying.
你整段午餐時間我都跟住你 I've been following you for your whole lunch hour.
但我只是想鼓足勇氣才打招呼 But I've just been trying to build up the courage to say hi.
所以...嗨 So... hi.
可以嗎? Is that okay?
你刪除了我的號碼? You deleted my number?
對 Yeah.
你們全力以赴比賽 You all played a hell of a game.
但結果輸了 But you lost.
我要你們記住這份感覺 I want you to remember this feeling.
將這一刻烙印在你們的腦海內 Burn this moment into your brains.
很好 Good.
羅伊舅父,夠鐘頒獎了嗎? Is it time for trophies, Uncle Roy?
好吧... Yeah, yeah.
艾蜜莉的媽媽為所有人購買了安慰獎牌 Emily's mom bought everyone consolation trophies.
倒錢落海一定好爽 Must be nice to just burn cash.
“最佳衣著獎”?真低能你們全都穿著相同的制服 "Best dressed"? That's stupid. You're all wearing the same thing.
給你 You.
算了,你們知道嗎? Right, you know what?
你們自己揀吧 為這些不是靠贏波得來的獎牌滿心歡喜 Just get amongst it. Enjoy your trophies for winning nothing.
肯特教練 Coach Kent.
聽我講,我細個的時候,輸波就會被鬧 Look, when I was young, you got shouted at for losing.
我也是,但嚴厲的做法從不影響我 Same. But then, tough love never bothered me.
只要我知道教練有心就夠了 As long as I knew the coach gave a shit.
喂,我好榮幸當你們的教練 Oy! It has been an honor coaching all of you.
我希望你們下年會回來踢球 I do hope you'll come back and play next year.
但如果不是認真的話就免了 But only if you fucking mean it.
我們輸了 Well, we lost.
本來可以追近比數 但其中一個入球被判無效 Would have been closer, but one of the goals got disallowed
顯然九歲細路還不可以使用頭槌 because apparently nine-year-olds aren't allowed to do headers yet.
可惡的腦部發展 Fucking brain development.
琪麗? Keeley?
-你在搞甚麼?-沒甚麼 -What you doing there? -Nothing.
你為甚麼將手機掟開? Why'd you throw your phone?
我以為你是盜賊,我不想你偷走它 I thought that you were an intruder, and I didn't want you to steal it.
所以你將手機掟去那邊? So you threw it over there?
對 Yeah.
你在自慰嗎? Were you having a wank?
給我看吧 Show me.
不,不要 No, that's okay.
寶貝,來吧,不用覺得尷尬不管是甚麼影片都沒問題 Babe, come on. Don't be embarrassed. Whatever it is, it's fine.
我喜歡看情侶在森林做愛 I like watching couples have sex in the woods.
是嗎?為甚麼? You do? Why?
因為我永遠都無法那麼自由 'Cause I could never be that free.
來吧,給我看 Come on, let me see.
我應該要知道怎樣令你慾火焚身 I should know what gets you going.
(西倫敦傳奇球員羅伊肯特宣布掛靴)
我宣布... I am announcing...
我從此退役 my retirement...
離開... from--
搞甚麼鬼? The fuck?
這能勾起你的性慾? This is your kink?
我的廢柴影片? Me being pathetic?
你不是廢柴 而是充滿熱情,展現脆弱的一面 You're not being pathetic. You're being passionate and vulnerable.
天啊,真的好鬼性感自從你離開球壇後,就不曾這樣了 God, it's fucking hot, and you haven't been like that since you left football.
以我這把年紀 膝頭永久受損,根本當不成足球員 At my age with a fucked knee, I don't get to be a football player.
-這是現實-那你為甚麼不試試當評述員? -That's how it works. -Then why not just try the pundit gig?
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
我知道那份工好鬼白癡 I know it's fucking stupid.
但你可以再次回歸球壇 But you'd be back around the game again.
羅伊,你好掛住足球,我心知肚明 You miss it, Roy. I know you do.
你跟占美一樣 You're just like Jamie.
這對話居然還可以變得更衰 I didn't think this conversation could get any worse.
我的天 Jesus Christ.
對,我今日見到他 Yeah, I saw him today.
他想回來為列治文效力 He wants to come back and play for Richmond.
他好迷失,羅伊,跟你一樣 He's so lost, Roy. Just like you.
但至少他在想辦法回歸球壇 But at least he's tryin' to find his way back.
看到未?正廢柴 See? Pathetic.
不,他不是廢柴 No, it's not pathetic.
他好勇敢 It's brave.
喂,我明白的 Oy, I get it.
不試就不會受傷害 Can't get hurt if you don't try.
但如果你不嘗試 But if you don't try,
我只好坐在這裏看著你爆喊的影片自慰了 then I'm just gonna have to sit here wanking to videos of you crying.
怕了你,我即管試一次 Fine. I will try it once.
但當份工又煩又乞我憎的時候 But when it sucks and I hate it,
我就會請一班細路跟住你四圍走 I'm gonna hire a bunch of children to follow you around and scream,
然後無止境地尖叫“我早就說了...” "Told you so, told you so" for centuries.
我好期待成為焦點 I look forward to the attention.
那你怎麼跟卑鄙之王 What'd you tell the prince prick of all pricks
講他回列治文踢球的事呢? about going back to Richmond?
我告訴他,他找錯傾訴對象了 I told him he was talking to the wrong person.
我叫它做泰迪 I named him Ted.
以泰迪丹遜命名 After Ted Danson.
他舉世無雙 All-time great.
從《歡樂酒店》、《人生如戲》到《良善之地》,成績輝煌 You know, from Cheers to Curb to The Good Place. What a career.
他基本上是男版茱莉亞杜里福斯 I mean, he's basically the male version of Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
而她是女版戴夫格魯 Who's like the female version of Dave Grohl.
對,他們三人都能點石成金,對吧? Yeah. All three of them got that Midas touch, don't they?
占美,好開心見到你 Nice to see ya, Jamie.
坐吧 Take a seat.
你最近好嗎? How ya been?
好好 Awesome.
-是嗎?-好到極 -Yeah? -The best.
幾好 Pretty good.
好吧,有點消沉 Okay, a little depressed. Yeah.
乜都得,我亂七八糟 It's all shit, Ted.
你的心情似足坐過山車 That's a real roller coaster there.
好彩我夠高陪你坐一轉 Glad I was tall enough to join you on that ride.
有甚麼我可以幫到你嗎? Anything I can help you with?
我跟琪麗傾過 So I was talking to Keeley,
我在想,我有沒有機會 and I was just wondering, like, what the chances were
回去列治文為你效力呢? of me coming back to play for you at Richmond?
占美,這不好說,你過橋抽板,自斷後路 I don't know, Jamie, you burned a lot of bridges over there.
教練,我需要列治文 Look, Coach, I need Richmond.
列治文也需要你 And Richmond needs you.
-謝謝,梅爾-謝謝 -Thank you, Mae. -Cheers.
對了,梅爾,你可不可以做好心 Actually, Mae, would you be a darling
叫那邊的小子們不要再望實我? and ask those lads at the end of the bar to stop staring at me, please?
喂,你們三個,死開 Oy, you three, fuck off.
-好啊,梅爾-對不起 -Oh, yeah, course, Mae. -Sorry!
遵命死開 Fucking off now.
薑還是老的辣 Old people are so wise.
他們好似高大版尤達大師 They're like tall Yodas.
飲杯 Cheers.
占美,我要問你一件事你為甚麼要參加那個真人騷? Jamie, let me ask you something. Why'd you do that reality show?
你在曼城的上陣時間明明越來越多 You know, you were getting good minutes up at City.
我不知道,純粹好玩,幫我提升個人形象 I don't know, just thought it'd be fun. Help boost me brand.
其實是為了激嬲我爸爸 Did it to piss off me dad.
每場賽事結束後,他都會踩低我 He was just on me after every match.
我的踢法、我上陣多少分鐘沒有上陣時坐冷板凳 How I played, how many minutes I played, how I sat on the bench when I didn't play.
搞到我好鬼火滾 Just drove me fucking mad.
他有時好... He can be a bit...
明白 Yeah.
我留意到有時候有個嚴厲的父親 You know, I've noticed that sometimes having a tough dad
正正是促使某些人變得出類拔萃的動力 is exactly what drives certain fellas to become great at what they do.
我聽講搖滾樂手波諾的父親好難搞 You know, I hear Bono's father was a real piece of work.
不過他們的唱片《約書亞樹》也一樣難搞,所以... But then again, so was Joshua Tree, so you know...
那你呢? What about you?
你爸爸也好難搞嗎? Was your old man like that?
不 No.
不,我爸爸對自己嚴厲過對我好多 No, my father was a lot harder on himself than he ever was on me.
你好好彩 You're lucky.
那你認為怎樣,教練? So what do you say then, Coach?
占美,你是個出色的球員 Jamie, you're an amazing player.
但我覺得這不是個好主意 But I don't think it's a good idea.
好的 Yeah.
好了,現在影一張相好似他們坐在我的手上 Right, now get one where it looks like they're sitting in my hand.
真離譜 That's some bullshit.
-黐鬼線-等陣,這是昨晚的照片? -Bloody hell. -Wait, that was last night?
你們在擾嚷甚麼? What are you all fussing over?
看來占美要回來列治文了 Looks like Jamie's coming back to Richmond.
看起來他們好似坐在他的手上 It looks like they're sitting on his hand.
落力點 Get fucking stuck in!
傳過來 Just throw it here!
有人要求今日要食火藥練習嗎? Somebody order training extra spicy today?
真的,好似快餐店的辣椒醬一樣熱辣辣 Yeah, it's got that Nando's peri-peri sauce on it, huh?
那是甚麼鬼啊? What the fuck was that?
你在等甚麼鬼? What the fuck you waiting for?
怎麼每次我回頭看,她都好似越坐越近? How come every time I look back there it's like she's getting closer and closer?
-謝謝,威爾-不用客氣 -Thank you, Will. -That's all right.
因為你不信任心理治療師 導致你產生視覺幻像嗎? Optical illusion induced by your mistrust of her profession?
這是暗喻嗎? Metaphor, huh?
全中 Bingo, Ringo.
這裏面有菠蘿嗎? Is there-- Is there pineapple in this?
真離譜 Jesus Christ.
我與乜都得同一陣線 無能的外來人在這裏橫行無忌 I'm with Ted. We've been overrun by incompetent outsiders.
我沒有那樣說,對吧? I don't think I said that, did I?
-別對我說,是他說的-對 -Not to me. It was him. -Yeah.
真是的,她肯定是越坐越近了 Come on now. She's definitely getting closer.
-太好了-好啊,上吧 -Yes! -Yeah, do it!
你們看,唏,尼敦 Now, look at that. Hey, Nate.
-你吹兩次哨叫停,好嗎?-好 -Hit me two times, will ya? -Yeah.
唏,森,等陣,唏 Hey, Sam! Hold up! Hey!
聽住,你傳球的時候,要踢遠一點 Look, baby, when you make that pass, you gotta put some grass under it.
等丹尼去追 Make Dani chase it down
就好似在擠擁的停車場追走甩的細路 like it's a loose toddler in a busy parking lot.
你以為自己可以踢得更好嗎?那你來踢啊 You think you can do better? Come here and do it then.
喂,兄弟,冷靜點 Oy! Easy, bruv.
不...不要緊,森說得對 No, no, no. That's okay. Sam's right.
這個球場上的大小事務 There ain't nothing going on out here on this field
你們任何人都做得比我好 that I can do better than any of y'all.
除非你們玩的遊戲 叫“占美畢菲版歌詞接龍” Unless you break into a game of "finish that Jimmy Buffett lyric."
那我就會隨時隨地大殺四方 Then I'll be changing your latitudes and attitudes left, right and center.
你...唏,森 You-- Hey, Sam.
-我只是想幫球隊而已-亂講 -I'm just tryin' to help the team here. -Bullshit.
好吧 Okay.
我去看看這是怎樣一回事 I'm gonna see what that's all about here real quick.
他平時不是這樣的,所以... He's not normally like this, you know, so...
我估森不喜歡占美畢菲 I guess Sam doesn't like Jimmy Buffett.
誰是占美畢菲? Who's Jimmy Buffett?
講真嗎? Really?
唏,森,等陣,唏,你有話要講嗎? Hey. Sam! Slow down. Hey, you got something you wanna talk about?
沒有 No.
講真?你好似有心事 Really? It seems like you got something on your mind.
例如“我因為某件事覺得好嬲 Something like, "I'm angry about a mysterious thing
所以我要爆粗鬧人” so I'm gonna do some cussing now."
我的確好嬲 I mean, I am angry.
又爆粗鬧人,每次這樣我都好後悔 And I did cuss, and every time I do, I regret it.
人會爆粗 'Cause people say cuss words
是因為他們 不知道怎麼用正確的字眼表達自己 when they don't know the right ones to use to express themselves.
但諧星伯尼麥克除外 Except Bernie Mac.
他講粗口就好似梵高用黃色,成效顯著 He uses them like van Gogh uses yellow. You know, effectively.
-來吧,話我知-我無法相信你要帶占美回來 -Come on, talk to me. -I can't believe you're bringing Jamie
-回到球隊-甚麼? -back to the team. -What?
我在Twitter上看到你們的照片 I saw the picture of you and him on Twitter.
-森,-Twitter上有好多黐線的東西 Oh, Sam, there's a bunch of crazy stuff on Twitter.
黐線到有人為我的鬍鬚開帳戶 Heck, someone made an account for my mustache.
占美走後,我們在更衣室打過幾次架? How many locker room punch-ups have we had since Jamie's been gone?
-一次都沒有-沒錯 -None. -None.
我們贏波未?未,但我們將會贏 Have we won yet? No, but we will.
我相信會的,你呢? I believe that. Don't you?
占美可以入波,不代表他有資格在球隊 Just because Jamie can score goals doesn't mean he deserves to be here.
沒有隊友好似占美那樣 令我對自己感到如此羞愧 No teammate has ever made me feel as bad about myself as Jamie did.
-森,我明白你好嬲他-不是他 -Sam, I understand your anger towards him. -It's not him.
我嬲的是你 I'm mad at you.
你對我們隻字不提 You didn't even talk to us about it.
老實講,森,我不知道有甚麼好說 Honestly, Sam, I didn't think there was anything to talk about.
我告訴占美不會成事 I told Jamie it wasn't gonna happen.
-我覺得好尷尬-當然了 -Now I feel awkward. -I bet.
大家都見到我怒氣沖沖走出球場... Did everybody see me when I stomped off--
不,沒有人見到當然有,大佬,全世界都見到 No, no one saw that. Yeah, man! Everyone saw that. Come on.
他們當然見到 Of course they did.
教練,好對不起 Coach, I'm so sorry.
不要緊,森,好嗎? It's okay, Sam, all right?
你是球隊的領袖,我希望你有話直說 You are a leader on this team. I want you to speak your mind.
謝謝你 Thank you.
對了,我爸爸說每次他在電視上見到你 You know, my father says every time he sees you on TV,
他都好開心我在這個球隊 he's very happy that I am here.
因為你會好好照顧我 That I'm in safe hands with you.
這對我來說意義重大 Well, that means a lot.
謝謝你 I appreciate that.
你知道我還是要罰你跑圈,對吧? You know I still gotta make you run a bunch of laps, right?
-我希望你罰我-好,去跑吧 -I was hoping you would. -Okay. Get going.
-謝謝你-好 -Thank you. -Yes.
-乜都得,你處理得好妥當-天啊 -Very well handled, Ted. -Gee...
希堅斯,謝謝你 Thank you, Higgins.
你在搞甚麼? What are you doing?
對不起,你通常怎麼搞眼睫毛? Sorry. What do you usually do with your lashes?
我不搞它們 I leave them the fuck alone.
不好意思 'Scuse me.
-喂?-喂? -Hey. -Hi.
我想知道一切是否順利 I wanted to see how it was going.
占美加歷查送花給我 Jamie Carragher sent me flowers.
(歡迎你加入天空體育台,占美上)
我們踢波時互相鄙視 We fucking despised each other when we played,
現在他送花給我 now he's sending me flowers.
他怎會知道我喜歡白色蘭花呢? How the fuck does he know I love white orchids?
寶貝,有少少緊張好正常 Babe, it's only natural to be a bit nervous.
我不緊張,這沒甚麼好怕的 I'm not nervous. There's nothing scary about this.
電視上沒有防守 There's no defense in TV.
那有甚麼問題呢? Well, what is it then?
只是...萬一... It's just-- What if--
萬一大家都覺得我好廢呢? What if everyone thinks I'm shit?
你幾時開始在乎其他人的想法? Since when do you care what people think?
你可是羅伊肯特 You're Roy fucking Kent.
肯特先生,準備好了 Ready for Mr. Kent.
我要收線了,謝謝你 I gotta go. Thank you.
加油,羅伊 Kill 'em. Roy-o!
-羅伊,好開心你參與這個節目-是鬼但 -Glad to have you on the show, Roy. -Whatever.
羅伊肯特依然故我 Same old Roy Kent.
唏,羅伊,別激動到喊,好嗎? Hey, Roy, try not to get too emotional, yeah?
五秒後開始直播 And we're on in five seconds.
四、三、二 Four, three, two.
(吉列公司呈獻《星期六足球》)
真是一場精彩的賽事 曼聯以1比0擊敗車路士 What a match! Manchester United beat Chelsea 1-nil
導致車路士在歐聯出局 in a result that drops Chelsea out of the European places
曼聯目前升上第三位 and lands United in the top three, for now.
基斯,這次的比賽 Chris, was this a case
是曼聯贏得精彩,還是車路士咎由自取? where United won the match or that Chelsea lost it?
曼聯在最後30分鐘表現特別醒目 United just had that extra sharpness in the final third,
但我覺得兩隊都踢得好出色 but I thought both teams played really well.
-佐治,你覺得呢?-兩隊勢均力敵 -George? -A real even battle.
這是最高質素的足球賽事 You know, it's football at its finest.
前車路士傳奇球員 羅伊肯特成為我們的一分子 Roy Kent, ex-Chelsea legend joins us.
歡迎你,羅伊 Welcome, Roy.
好的,你覺得呢? Right, what did you think?
你的前球會踢得好嗎? Did your former club play well?
不,我覺得他們踢得好屎 No. I thought they played like shit.
我們向家庭觀眾道歉 Our apologies to the viewing audience.
抱歉羅伊肯特講粗言穢語 Roy Kent with some salty language.
羅伊,你可以說明一下嗎? Would you care to elaborate, Roy?
好的,今日車路士踢得好屎 All right. Chelsea was shit today.
表現嚇死人 They were shocking.
看他們的表現,你完全想不到他們是主隊 Watching them, you'd never know they were playing at home.
他們太膽怯,對曼聯過於恭敬 They were too timid. They were too respectful of United.
他們好彩沒有輸三、四球,甚至十球 They were lucky they didn't lose by three or four or ten.
羅伊,你太苛刻,曼聯最近氣勢如虹 That's harsh, Roy. United's been on a good run recently.
基斯,誰在乎呢? Who gives a shit, Chris?
你沒有藉口踢得好似怕了對手一樣 That's no excuse to play like you're afraid of 'em.
你可以從他們的表情看出他們充滿恐懼 You could see it in their faces: abject terror.
好似小朋友排隊 等見喜歡毛手毛腳的聖誕老人一樣 Like children waiting in line for the handsy Father Christmas.
你要為自己身穿的爛鬼球衣 感到自豪,否則還著個屁 Have some fucking pride in your shirt or don't fucking wear it.
羅伊肯特,你好鬼正 Roy Kent, you fucking legend!
-就是要這樣才對-我喜歡他如此坦白 -I mean, that is how you do it! -I enjoy his candor.
我們再次為羅伊說的幾乎每一個字道歉 Again, we apologize for almost every word Roy just said.
(#羅伊肯特)
希堅斯,身為鑽石狗的創會成員之一 Higgins, as a founding member of the Diamond Dogs,
眼見你在大樓裏遊走 我們的汪汪心都碎了 it breaks our little bowwow hearts to see you wandering around this building.
沒有辦公桌的男人 A man without a desk.
所以我們想請你搬來樓下 跟我的老友尼敦共用房間 So we'd like to ask you to move in with us down here with my man, Nate.
你意下如何? What do you say?
好完美,只要尼敦同意就可以 That would be perfect. I mean, only if it's okay with Nathan.
對,當然可以 Yeah, of course.
好室友 Roomies!
哎呀,對不起 Oops, sorry.
好了,在你們離開之前 Now, before y'all bounce,
我有一件跟足球有關的事情要與你們商量 I do have one piece of football business we need to discuss.
那就是占美塔特在這個球隊的前景 And that is Jamie Tartt's future with this team.
-我以為已經解決-我本來也以為是 -I thought that was settled. -Well, I did too.
但我跟森傾完,令事情起變數 Then I was talking to Sam, and he unsettled it.
-森想占美回來?-不是... -Sam wants Jamie back? -No, no.
森提醒了我他有一位好父親 Sam just reminded me that he himself has got a great dad.
不是人人都有 Not everyone has that.
我們在體育場上常說 And isn't the idea of "never give up"
“永不放棄” one of them things we always talk about in sports?
這句話不是也應該用在人的身上嗎? And shouldn't that apply to people too?
雙王牌好吸引,可能正是我們所需 Two aces is very tempting. Could be exactly what we need.
但有個人不停踩低大家 But it could also ruin morale to have someone in here
好可能會影響士氣... just belittling everyone all the ti--
威爾...不是放在儲物櫃下面要放在長凳上,好心你 Will! Will! Not beneath the lockers. On the bench, man. Come on.
對不起 Sorry.
正白癡 What a doughnut.
我剛才在說甚麼? What was I saying?
-教練,你覺得呢?-好處是他球技精湛 -What about you, Coach? -Pro: He's a great player.
壞處在於他是一煲粥裏的老鼠屎 Con: He's a poop in the punch bowl.
好了,各位鑽石狗身為犬類,我們是沒有手指公的 All right, Diamond Dogs, as canines, we are supposed to lack opposable digits.
但我現在要問你們,手指公向上定向下? But right now I'm gonna ask you: thumbs up or thumbs down?
好的... Okay. Okay.
(羅伊好正,幾次口快快爆粗)
(但我們希望他再來天空體育台製作人上)
嗨 Hi.
怎麼樣? How'd it go?
來吧,寶貝,說點話 Come on, babe. Say something.
你要假裝自己討厭這份工嗎? What, you just gonna pretend like you hated it?
你好正 You were amazing.
-頂,你真的討厭這份工-我可以拿你的電話嗎? -Shit, you really did hate it. -May I have your phone?
羅伊,我真的很抱歉 Roy, I'm really sorry.
只是... It's just that--
雖然無關重要了 但體育台那邊的人都好喜歡你 I mean, not that it matters-- But everyone over there, they loved you.
你在Twitter上爆紅 And Twitter was going cuckoo for Coco Pops.
但如果你不想,就不用再去了,所以... But you don't ever have to do it again if you don't want to, so...
拿去 Here.
回到球壇的感覺好爽 Felt good to be back around the game.
那就好了 Oh, good.
你在做甚麼? What are you doing?
你再次幫我找回自己 You helped me to help myself. Again.
所以我想好好多謝你 So I wanted to thank you properly.
按“播放” Hit play.
我宣布... I am announcing...
我從此退役 my retirement...
離開... from--
唏,你在這啊 Hey, there she is.
乜都得教練,晚安 Good night, Coach Lasso.
謝謝你今日讓我觀察球隊練習 And thank you for letting me observe training today.
有些教練聽到這個提議就會懷疑我有陰謀 Some coaches get quite conspiratorial at the notion.
我不知道原來我有得揀,講笑 Well, I didn't know I had a choice. I'm just goofing.
而且我的陰謀論都是關於共濟會 Besides, most of my conspiracies revolve around the Freemasons
因為我小時候看了幾部 on account of a couple different Disney cartoons
不同的迪士尼卡通片 I watched a bunch as a kid.
我回家後會將我的觀察報告 用電郵傳給你和你的職員 I'll email you and your staff my takeaways when I get home.
唏,來吧,現在就開門見山講吧 Well, hey. Come on. Let 'er rip right now.
看電郵就好似 Reading that email will be like
聽你改編過的想法 listening to a cover tune of your thoughts.
我想先聽為快,聽原作者親口講 Rather hear this tune for the first time from the original artist.
-如果你堅持,我就講吧-我堅持 -Well, if you insist. -I do.
這裏的氣氛好好 There's a wonderful atmosphere here.
所有職員都好細心友善 而且他們真的會聆聽彼此說話 All the employees are thoughtful and kind, and they actually listen to one another.
對,我也留意到 Yeah, I've noticed the same thing.
唏,等我問你 Well, hey, let me ask you this now.
你覺得我們是否 You think we got ourselves
傾向“沒有問題,就不要畫蛇添足”? a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" situation here or what?
視乎情況 That depends.
大家都同意無法取勝 連續八場打和是“沒有問題”嗎? Does everyone agree that being winless with eight straight draws "ain't broke"?
也對 Yeah.
乜都得教練,欲戴遮陽帽,必承其重 Heavy is the head that wears the visor, Coach Lasso.
你一定有好多心事 You must have a lot on your mind.
我希望有天我們有機會坐低慢慢傾 I hope we get a chance to sit down and talk about it all someday.
好的,我好期待 Yeah. No, I look forward to that.
好了,大...醫生,晚安 All right. Good night, Doc...tor! Doctor.
對不起 Sorry.
不要緊,你可以叫我大夫 You can call me Doc. It's okay.
感謝主,我一直改不了口 Oh, thank God. I mean, that's been killing me.
你親眼見的,這個花名好正 You saw it, you know. It's just such a good nickname.
《驚濤王子》 Prince of Tides.
這是你幫我起的花名嗎? Is that your nickname for me now?
不,乜都得教練,那是我最喜歡看的書 No, Coach Lasso. My favorite book.
杜拜航空公司的人特別要求找森 The people at Dubai Air have asked specifically for Sam.
星期五要拍硬照 There's a photo shoot set up for Friday.
真好,那個後生仔值得更多人賞識 Good for him. That young man deserves some recognition.
對 Yeah.
你好,抱歉打斷你們講話我是莎朗菲爾史東 Hello. Sorry to interrupt. I'm Sharon Fieldstone.
是的,菲爾史東醫生,好開心認識你 Yes. Oh, it is lovely to meet you, Dr. Fieldstone.
-請叫我莎朗,你好-你好,好開心認識你 -Please, call me Sharon. Hi. -Hi! Lovely to meet you.
我只想順道拜訪你 I just wanted to stop by
並多謝你送來的樽裝水禮物籃 and thank you for the lovely gift basket of bottled water.
對,乜都得說你戒糖 Yes, well, Ted said you didn't eat sugar.
還有很多其他東西不含糖分 So many other things don't have sugar in them.
我真的好開心你加入我們 I really am glad that you're joining us.
我希望你是我們往前進所需要的催化劑 I hope that you'll be just the boost we need to get things going around here.
希堅斯,你說是嗎? Wouldn't you say, Higgins?
萊斯里 Leslie?
對不起,我只是... Sorry, I was just...
字幕翻譯:王廷怡