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[Digital Theatre theme]
[Music]
Leon: I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Aragon comes this night to Messina.
Messenger: He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him.
Leon: How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?
Mess: Ah, but few of any sort, and none of name.
Leon: A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.
Mess: Mhm, much deserved on his part, and equally remembered by Don Pedro.
He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion.
He hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how.
Beatrice: I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the war, or no? [Audience laughs]
Mess: I know none of that name, lady: there was none such in the army of any sort.
Leon: What is he that you ask for, niece?
Hero: My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.
Mess: Oh, he's returned; and as pleasant as ever he was.
Beat: I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars?
But how many hath he killed, for indeed I promise to eat all of his killing.
Leon: Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not.
Mess: He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.
Beat: You had musty vittles, he hath helped to eat them: he is a very valiant trencher-man; he hath an excellent stomach.
Mess: And a good soldier too, lady.
Beat: And a good soldier to a lady.
But what is he to a lord?
Mess: A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable virtues.
Beat: It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man.
But for the stuffing? Well...
We are all mortal.
Leon: You must not, sir, mistake my niece.
There is a kind of merry war betwix Signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them.
Beat: Alas, he gets nothing by that!
In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, now is the whole man governed with one.
Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.
Mess: Is't possible?
Beat: Very easily possible, he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block.
Mess: I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.
Beat: No, an he were I would burn my study.
But I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?
Mess: He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.
Beat: Oh lord. He will hang upon him like a disease.
He is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! If he have caught the Benedick,
it will cost him a thousand pounds ere he be cured.
Mess: I will hold friends with you, lady.
Beat: Do.
Good friend.
Leon: You'll never run mad, niece.
Beat: No, not till a hot january.
Mess: Ah, Don Pedro is approached.
[Ladies sigh]
[Loud, obnoxious car horn]
Benedick: Ahoy!
[Company and audience cheer] Subtitles End: mo.dbxdb.com