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片名：女性瘾者 第一部
喂 Hello?
你出事了 You've had an accident.
你需要救护车 You need an ambulance.
我打电话叫车 我马上就回来 I'll call for one.I'll be right back.
- 躺在这里别动 - 不要 - Lie still here. - No.
不要 No.
不要什么 No what?
我不需要救护车 I don't need an ambulance.
你显然需要 I can clearly see you do.
我打电话叫车 I'll call for one.
要是那样 你回来之前 In that case,I'll be up and gone
我就爬起来跑掉了 before you have time to come back.
那样会很痛 That will hurt.
可能会痛 不过我不介意 That's possible.But it doesn't matter to me.
我猜你应该也不想我打电话报警吧 I assume you don't want me to call the police either.
你说的没错 Yes, that's exactly right.
那你需要什么东西吗 Is there anything you want?
我想要一杯加奶的茶 I'd like a cup of tea with some milk.
好吧 Well...
那你得跟我来 You have to come with me.
我不习惯请人当街喝茶 I don't serve tea in the street.
你能走吗 Can you walk?
可以 Yeah.
我甚至还买了个蛋糕 I've even bought a cake.
给你睡衣 Here's a pajama.
谢谢 Thank you.
我帮你把床准备好了 I've made up the bed for you.
还有干净的床单 With clean sheets.
- 抱歉 - 没关系 - Sorry. - That's okay.
好了 There.
- 我帮你把衣服洗了吧 - 别洗我的大衣 - I'll wash your clothes. - Not my coat.
可味道太难闻了 It smells rather badly.
那是我的大衣 It's my coat.
味道怎么都去不掉 The smell won't come off anyway.
是你的大衣 It's your coat.
- 要加糖吗？ - 不 谢谢 - Do you take sugar? - No, thank you.
给你 There you go.
谢谢 Thank you.
你发生什么事了 So what happened?
被人抢劫了吗 Were you robbed?
是我自作自受 It's my own fault.
我是个坏人 I'm just a bad human being.
我从来没遇到过坏人 I've never met a bad human being.
现在你遇到了 Well, you have now.
你想聊聊吗 Do you want to talk about it?
你肯定无法理解 You wouldn't understand.
试试看嘛 Well, try me.
我都不知道从哪儿开始讲 But I wouldn't know where to start.
那边怎么挂着个诡异的鱼钩 Why is that ridiculous fishhook hanging there?
那是个飞蝇钓钩 That's a fly.
我用它抓住过一条鱼 很大一条鱼 I caught a fish with it once,a rather big one.
大得出奇 Strangely enough.
飞蝇钓是指将羽毛… Fly fishing is about tying feathers
等东西绑到钓钩上 and other things to a hook
伪装成鱼类喜欢食物的钓鱼方式 so it resembles something the fish likes to eat.
因为飞蝇钓钩很轻 And then because the fly is very light,
你必须有一条足够重的线 you have to have a line that is heavy.
这样才能甩得远 It creates the velocity when you cast.
- 你经常钓鱼吗 - 有时吧 - You fish a lot? - Well, some.
但我钓到的不多 But I don't catch much.
当地人钓的更多 The locals catch a lot more.
我年轻的时候 曾经有一本 When I was young, I...I had a book I...
很喜欢的书 I worshipped.
是艾萨克·沃顿写的一本旧书 It was an old book by Izaak Walton
叫做"高明的垂钓者" called "The Complete Angler."
对我来说就像一本浪漫的大自然圣经 It was like a romantic nature bible to me.
我大概知道怎么开始讲了 Maybe I know where to start.
可是如果你想真正理解我的处境 But if you're to understand, I'll...
那我得把前因后果都讲出来 I'll have to tell you the whole story.
那就会很长 And it'll be long.
长一点没问题 Long is good.
恐怕还很有教育意义 And moral, I'm afraid.
[第一章 高明的垂钓者]
一切是这么开始的 To begin with the bait,
我两岁时就开始玩弄自己的阴部 I discovered my cunt as a two-year-old.
“阴部”是一个很强劲的词 "Cunt" is a very strong word.
那我们就把它叫做“潘多拉的魔盒”吧 Let's call it "Pandora's Box" then.
不 不 还是叫“阴部”吧 Um... No, no, no."Cunt" is better.
我是个女性瘾者 So, I was a nymphomaniac.
等等，没人会在两岁的时候… Wait a moment, no.Nobody can be a nymphomaniac
就是女性瘾者 when they're only two years old.
我认为即使在最严厉的神看来 I don't think even the strictest God
那也只是孩子的正常行为 would see anything else than a child's normal behavior.
那么胎儿呢？这是常识 What about fetuses?It's common knowledge
胎儿经常触摸他们的性器官 that fetuses often touch their genital organs.
胎儿怎么可能会有罪？ Can a fetus somehow be sinful?
为什么？ Why not?
据说我知任何宗教都没有这种说法 Not according to any religion I know,
除非是原罪 unless it's an original sin.
源自祖先之罪 Ancestral.
也许根据宗教的说法还不存在 Or perhaps according to a religion that doesn't exist yet.
根据神的说法还没有现身 According to a god that hasn't yet manifested himself.
但你又要胡思乱想了 But then you can imagine anything.
很小的时候 我就开始享受性快感 At an early age,I was mechanically inclined.
比如过剩的精力 让我沉迷其中不可自拔 Kinetic energy, for example,has always fascinated me.
我有个朋友 就叫她B吧 And my friend,let's call her "B,"
总是能想出各种点子 always came up with the ideas.
她的拿手好戏之一就是学青蛙 Playing frogs was one of B's classics.
乔 你没事吧 Joe, are you all right?
马上就好 Just a moment.
你好了没有 Are you done?
算啦 让她们自己玩去 For Christ's sakes,leave them alone.
我很爱我的父亲 I loved my father very much.
他是个医生 He was a doctor.
我母亲名叫凯瑟琳 My mother's name was Katherine.
我父亲会叫她凯 My father called her Kay.
我觉得她就是那种所谓的冷血婊子 I suppose she was what you'd call "a cold bitch."
她一玩起纸牌游戏就什么都不管了 She always had her back turned when she played solitaire.
我讨厌纸牌游戏 I hated solitaire.
我们上体育课的时候 我会沿着绳子爬上去 When we had P.E.,I'd climb up into the ropes
长时间挂着 把绳子夹在两腿之间 and hang there for ages with the rope between my legs.
我们把这种行为称为"感受" "The Sensation" we called it.
对我来说是个非常特殊的词 "感受" I remember very distinctly this word, "sensation."
也许我跟其他人唯一的不同 Perhaps the only difference between me and other people
在于我更喜欢夕阳 was that I've always demanded more from the sunset.
太阳撞上地平线的瞬间色彩最为壮丽 More spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon.
这也许是我唯一的罪 That's perhaps my only sin.
你为什么坚持认为小孩子有罪呢 Why are you insisting that children are sinful?
不是小孩子 Not children.
是我 Me.
我看不到罪的存在 I don't see sin anywhere.
不过也可能因为我不信教 But then I'm not religious.
那是因为你还没有听完剩下的故事 Well, that's because you don't know the rest of the story.
顺便说一句 我也不信教 And by the way,I'm not religious either.
你怎么会用上宗教里最无情的那些概念 Why would you take the most unsympathetic aspect
比如罪恶 of religion such as the concept of sin...
还认为它能独立存在于宗教之外 and let it survive beyond religion?
我不理解这种自我憎恶的感情 I don't understand this self-hatred.
这就是为什么我说 Well, that's what I said.
- 你无法理解的 - 不 我 - You wouldn't understand. - No, I'm...
对不起 我不插嘴了 I'm sorry, I'll shut up.
请继续说 Please continue.
阴部神经 Nervus... pudendus.
阴蒂背神经 Nervus dorsalis clitoridis.
当白蜡木被创造出来的时候 When the ash tree was created,
森林里其他的树都感到嫉妒 it made all the other trees in the forest jealous.
这是最美丽的树 It was the most beautiful tree.
你没办法说它有任何不好 You couldn't say anything bad about it.
在北欧神话里这是世界之树 It was the World Tree in Norse mythology.
记住 欧丁神… Remember, Odin...
他在世界之树上吊了九天 He hung from the ash tree,Yggdrasil, for nine days
为了洞察一切 in order to gain insight.
白蜡木有最坚韧的树枝 The ash tree had the strongest wood.
而到了冬天 Then in the winter...
白蜡木的叶子掉光了 when the ash tree lost all of its leaves...
其他树看到了他黑芽 all the trees noticed its black buds,
开始嘲笑它 and started laughing.
瞧瞧 "Oh, look.
白蜡木把手指伸进灰里了 The ash tree has had its fingers in the ashes."
看到没有 See?
冬天你总是能通过黑芽 You can always tell the ash tree in winter
认出白蜡木 by the black buds.
现在 Now...
这是欧椴树的叶子 Now this is a lime tree leaf.
- 记得吗？ - 我忘了还有欧椴树 - Remember? - I forgot about the lime tree.
我都告诉过你一百次了 I've told you 100 times.
我父亲喜欢跟我讲关于树… My dad loved telling me about the trees,
和叶子的事 觉得这是… and their leaves,and considered it
良好教育的一部分 part of a good education.
他特别喜欢自己讲的那些 He especially loved the childish educational stories he told
用来帮我巩固知识的幼稚小故事 to help me remember what I had learned.
我知道他有多喜欢讲那些故事 I knew how much he loved telling those stories.
所以有时我会假装忘记了好让他再讲一遍 Sometimes I pretended I'd forgotten them.
最开始 欧椴树的叶子是圆形的 Originally, the lime tree's leaves were round.
一直狐狸在树根下做了小窝 A fox had her den beneath its roots
她生了四只小狐狸 where she had four cubs.
一天 她出去给小狐狸找食物 One day, she went out looking for food for them.
她被森林里的猎人射中了 There was a hunt in the forest.She was shot.
她带着伤爬回小窝 Wounded, she crawled back to the den
可惜四只小狐狸也死了 where she and the four cubs died.
这让欧椴树很悲伤 This made the lime tree so sad.
从那时起 And from then on,
欧椴树决定 the lime tree decided to have...
变为心形的树叶 heart-shaped leaves.
没错 心形树叶 Oh, yes, that's right.Heart-shaped.
你会不会觉得无聊 Am I boring you?
不会啊 我只是很期待 No, no. I'm just looking forward
你会怎样把你的故事跟钓鱼联系到一起 to how you'll get fishing weaved into your tale.
你可以从墙上的飞蝇钓钩说起 You could start with the fly on the wall there.
它又叫做蛹 It's called a nymph.
它能跟你所形容的性瘾巧妙地联系到一起 It will tie in elegantly with your discussion
蛹是昆虫早期的… about nymphomania.A nymph is an early stage
一种形态 in the life of an insect.
作为一个年轻的蛹 As a quite young nymph,
我不可避免地想摆脱处女身份 it was imperative for me to get rid of my virginity.
确实如此 Hopla.
我认识一个叫J的男生 I kind of knew this boy, J,
他有一辆摩托车 who had a moped.
所以我觉得他应该见过一些世面 So in my eyes he was rather sophisticated.
当时我十五岁 I was 15,
可能有些不切实际的… and perhaps my girlish,romantic expectations
少女浪漫情怀 were a bit high.
不过他的手掌很有力 But he had good, strong hands.
我很喜欢他的手 I liked his hands.
谁在那里 Hello?
- 你好 - 你好 - Hi. - Hi.
如果我想请你帮我破处 你会有什么问题吗 If I asked you to take my virginity,would that be a problem?
我不觉得这有什么问题 No, I don't see a problem.
所以 So, um...
我应该去哪里 Where shall I go?
一定是他妈化油器的问题 It's the fucking carburetor.
我修不好它 简直不可思议 I just can't work it out,you imagine that?
- 真可惜 - 怎么 - That's not very good. - Hmm?
- 真可惜 - 不可惜 - It's not very good. - No, it bloody isn't.
完全毁了摩托车的乐趣 Ruins the whole idea of having a moped.
你是不是应该把内裤脱掉 You should probably take off your knickers, yeah?
他把鸡巴塞进我身体里插了三下 He shoved his cock inside me and humped me three times.
然后像翻一麻袋土豆一样把我翻了个身 Then he turned me over like a sack of potatoes.
又插了五下我的屁眼 Then he humped me five times in the ass.
我永远无法忘记那两个屈辱的数字 I never forgot those two humiliating numbers.
三和五 Three and five?
它们都是斐波纳契数 Those are Fibonacci numbers.
有可能 That may be.
不管怎么样 我快疼死了 In any case, it hurt like hell.
我发誓再也不会跟任何人上床 I swore I'd never sleep with anyone again.
当然 誓言很快就被打破了 But of course that only lasted a short while.
现在说回你说的钓鱼 And now to get back to your fishing.
几年以后 A couple of years later,
有一次我在朋友B家 I was at my friend B's,
跟往常一样 她又有了个新点子 and as always,she had a new idea,
由她弟弟的小猪储钱罐赞助 financed by her younger brother's piggy banks
她经常去里面拿钱 which she regularly emptied.
我们穿上后来被称做… We put on clothes later known as
"快操我"的衣服 the "fuck me now" clothes.
她想出的点子是个比赛 The idea was a competition.
我们要去坐一趟火车 We were to go on a train trip.
而B说不需要买票 B said there was no need for tickets.
火车到站之后 The one who would fuck the most men
我们之中干了最多男人的那个 when we reached the destination
将赢得一袋巧克力糖 would win the chocolate sweets.
我能打断你一下吗 May I interrupt here?
你们穿过走廊时所做的 What you were doing when you walked down that corridor.
正是在探索河流 You were reading the river.
大多数大鱼为了节省体力 喜欢藏身水流不那么急的地方 Most of the large fish stay sheltered from the current
避免被猎物看到 to save energy,and to hide from the prey.
鱼类在水流中藏身之处 Where the fish hides in the stream
有着严格的等级制度 entails a very complicated hierarchy.
地形决定了最有吸引力的位置分布 The topography decides where the most attractive places are,
最大的鱼有权选择最好的地方 and the biggest fish choose the best positions.
我该怎么做？ What do I do?
微笑 然后进行眼神交流 Smile and make eye contact.
万一不管用呢？ But what if it doesn't work?
如果你必须开口 记得问一些 If you have to talk, remember to ask lots of "wh" questions
不能只用是或者不是回答的问题 if you want more than a yes or no answer.
之后一切就会水到渠成 Then it'll just happen on its own.
你只需要把他们带到盥洗室跟他们做爱 You just take them to the lavatory and you have sex with them.
可是万一盥洗室很脏呢 Oh. What if it's nasty?
你只需要想着那袋巧克力糖就好了 Then you just think of the bag of chocolate sweeties.
请 请问现在几点了 What... What time is it?
十点 Ten.
你从哪里来的 Where do you come from?
从家里来 From home.
谁知道盥洗室在哪里 Who knows where the lavatory is?
如果你向右转 你会在这节车厢尾部 Well, if you take a right,you will arrive at a lavatory
见到盥洗室 at the end of the car.
同时 这里的设计很合理 At the same time it is so cleverly arranged
所以如果你向左转 你一样会见到盥洗室 that if you take a left turn you will also arrive at a lavatory
因为上一节车厢的尾部也有一个 since at the end of the next car there is also one.
我可以带你去盥洗室 Let me show you where the lavatory is.
没想到这种事竟然这么容易 It turned out to be shockingly easy.
B很快就领先了 5比3 In no time,B was ahead five to three.
她说的没错 And it was exactly right.
看着他们的眼睛微笑 Look them in the eye and smile.
可是突然一切都不管用了 But then suddenly, it stopped.
这跟在水里钓鱼完全一致 That's a very clear parallel to fishing in the stream.
很难预测 要么没有鱼上钩 As it happens, either none of the fish are feeding,
要么所有的鱼都上钩 or they all feed at the same time.
它们会突然开始疯狂咬钩 没有漏网的 They go into feeding frenzy.All bite.
然后这又结束得跟开始得一样突然 And then just as suddenly as it started, it stops.
这可以观察，但又难以预测 It's observable, but it's highly unpredictable.
我不知道这与什么有关 And it has to do with,I don't know,
天气 气压 weather, barometric pressure,
也许鱼也会心理学 maybe some fish psychology.If that's possible.
鱼喜欢在刚开始下小雨的时候咬钩 Anyway, the fish most readily bite at the beginning of a light rain,
我觉得是因为他们 and I think that's because they feel safe
感到水流中很安全 when they swim in the stream.
因为从水面上看不到它们 Because they can't be seen from above.
雨点破坏了水面的平静 The water's surface is disturbed.
然后一切周而复始 But then it started again.
尽管可能会慢一点 Although, a bit more slowly.
对 而且我觉得我知道怎么做 Yeah. I think I know how.
因为飞蝇钓有好几个阶段 Because fly fishing can be done in several phases.
当鱼不再咬钩时 你就进入第二阶段 And if the fish stop biting,you move on to phase two.
在第二阶段 你不仅要伪装成昆虫 And in phase two, you not only imitate an insect,
还需要伪装成遇到危险的昆虫 but an insect in trouble.
你需要去拉线 You pull... You pull the line.
不规律地拉线 这样鱼就会觉得 You tug it irregularly,so the fish gets the impression
这是一只容易到手的受伤的猎物 that it's dealing with an injured and easy prey.
然后让飞蝇钓钩无助地随波逐流 And then helplessly, let the fly float down the river again.
再没精打采地往前蹦跶几下 Then half-heartedly,make a few jumps forward again.
这个可以…这可以做得非常巧妙 It can be done... It can be done very elegantly.
嘿 Hey.
抱歉 Sorry.
没什么要抱歉的 Nothing to feel sorry about.
我只是觉得今天有些不舒服 I'm just not feeling very well today.
怎么会这么严重？ What could be so bad?
哦 谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我现在不能说 I can't talk about it right now.
我能就这样坐一会吗 Can I just sit here for a while?
没问题 Yeah. Sure.
好些了吗 Is it better now?
不 No.
- 你没事吧 - 是贝蒂的事 - Are you all right? - It's Betty.
我刚刚得知她病得很厉害 I was just told that she's very ill.
贝蒂是你很亲密的家人吗 Is Betty a close family member?
你可以这么说 You could say that.
它是我的侏儒仓鼠 She's my dwarf hamster.
侏儒仓鼠？你一定是在开玩笑吧 Dwarf hamster?You can't be serious.
那我应该怎么说 Well, what was I to do?
我小时候确实养过一只侏儒仓鼠 And then, I did have a dwarf hamster when I was young.
你跟它很亲密吗 That you were very close to?
完全不是 它是个讨厌鬼 Not at all.A bloody nuisance.
侏儒仓鼠？ 还不赖 Dwarf hamster? That's not so bad.
至少比重病的是人要好 Would have been worse if it were a person.
别这么说 Don't say that.
我超喜欢我的仓鼠 I'm extremely fond of my hamster.
就是 我觉得你这么说贝蒂太冷血了 Yes, I think that's a rather cynical thing to say about Betty.
我一拿到它就把它的笼子收拾得 Yes, I made the cage nice and cozy for her when...
- 漂亮又舒适 - 贝蒂喜欢吗 - When I got her. - I bet she liked that.
贝蒂可开心了 Betty was excited.
自然界最没有价值的生物之一 One of nature's most meaningless creatures.
你应该意识到侏儒仓鼠 You're aware that the choice of a dwarf hamster
有某种性方面的含义在里面吧 possibly suggests certain sexual connotations.
我现在意识到了 I can see that now
但当时我完全没想那么多 but it was really not a conscious choice.
侏儒仓鼠能活多少年？ How long does a dwarf hamster actually live?
几个月 几年？ Months, years?
它的寿命非常短 Its life is much too short.
你能带我去盥洗室吗 Would you show me where the lavatory is?
我 我想擤一下鼻涕 I... have to blow my nose.
我们同样没有可以干的男人了 Just the same,we were running out of subjects,
B已经领先于我 and B was ahead on points,
于是我们去了头等车厢 which led us to S's first-class compartment.
查票啦 Tickets, please.
谢谢 女士们 Thank you. Ladies?
查票了 Tickets.
嗯 Well...
我好像弄丢了 I think I might have lost it.
是吗 Perhaps.
你也弄丢了是吗 Drop yours as well, did you?
我才没买这破车的票 I haven't bought a ticket for your shitty train.
这也太慢了 It's so bloody slow,we should have been
我们半小时前就该到了 at the end of the track half an hour ago.
不管是否延误你都得买票 Regardless of delays, you still need a ticket, sweetheart.
每人8英镑 Eight pounds each, please.
噢 Ooh!
我不小心撕坏了 I accidentally tore it up.
都成废纸了 我才不付钱 Can't expect me to pay for scraps of paper.
- 那就再来一张 - 真棒 - Have another one. - Oh, great idea.
这张也坏了 Oh, that one's disappeared too.
我可以在下一站 I can always just get the police
请警察来收你们的款 to collect your payment at the next station...
大家都别激动 Let's just take it easy here,shall we?
很明显这两位女士身上没有现金了 Apparently, the young ladies have left without any money.
如果你没意见的话 我来付好了 If it's okay with you, I'd like to pay for their tickets.
不 先生 你不用帮他们付钱 No, sir, it's not.Leave your money where it is.
让警察来处理她们 We'll let the police deal with these two.
我们已经说好由我来买票的 We did have sort of an agreement
我忘了罢了 that I was to pay.I just forgot about it.
好吧 两张头等厢车票 I see. Two first-class tickets...
给两位一流的女士 for two first-class ladies.
祝旅途愉快 Enjoy the rest of your journey.
查票啦 Tickets, please.
你刚刚为我们慷慨解囊 Now that you've been so nice to us...
我们想要感谢一下你 we'd like to be nice to you, too.
非常感谢你们 不过不需要了 Oh, that's very kind of you,but there's no need.
我说真的 I mean that.
不管他们有没有目标或任务 You have to split them up into whether they have
你都得把他们分开来 a goal and a mission or not.
那个人没有 That one doesn't.
反正我都输了 Well, I've already lost anyway.
如果你能搞定那一个 I'm willing to give you five extra points...
我给你多加五分 if you can get that one in there.
也许是出于绝望 I decided,perhaps a bit desperately,
我觉得自己离那袋巧克力 that the only thing standing between me
只有一步之遥 and the bag of chocolate sweets,
我一定要撩拨起这个男人 was an unequivocal provocation of this man.
很好 诱惑猎物 Excellent. An induced take.
当其他方法都不管用时 一种别具特色的挑拨 When all other attempts fail,a dramatic provocation
连最被动的鱼都能轻易上钩 can get an otherwise completely passive fish to bite.
例如鲑鱼或鳟鱼 A salmon or a trout,for example,
在海水里吃自身的脂肪 eats itself fat while in salt water,
其实基本上不需要吃 and then basically has no need to eat
只是这是他们游向上游产卵地的方式 as it makes its way upstream to the spawning grounds.
他们并不饥渴 但只要正确挑拨 They're not hungry but they will react instinctively
他们会本能的上钩 to the right provocation.
假蝇是不够的 应该使用 Which would not be a fly,but for instance,
色彩鲜艳的匙状假饵 红色最宜 a brightly colored wobbler,preferably red,
立刻放到鱼的前面 served immediately in front of the fish.
最好的那种我们叫"芬兰武器" The very best is one we call the Finnish Weapon.
就是所谓的"燕灰蝶" The so-called "Rappala."
我不知道是否具有可比性 I don't know if it's comparable,
但我决定无论如何我都要找出 but I decided in any case to find out
为什么他不上钩的原因 why he hadn't taken the bait,
我心里猜想 and to use my psychological abilities,
B也跟我一样不知道原因 which B, in my opinion, didn't possess to the same degree.
你买了个礼物 You've bought a gift.
是的 Yes.
为我妻子准备的 It's for my wife.
- 没有给孩子买礼物？ - 没 - No gifts for the children? - No.
实际上我还没有孩子 We don't have any, actually.
你看起来很有钱 Well, you seem rather well-to-do.
你坐头等车厢 还帮我们买了票 You travel first-class, and you bought us our tickets.
为什么不买个好点的礼物给你妻子呢 Why then not buy a decent gift for your wife?
我知道这是在车站买的 I can see it comes from the station.
当然 我应该… Of course I should have...
买个… bought her something...
更好的礼物 只不过… something better, but...
我这次回家太匆忙 Let's just say I was suddenly in a hurry to get home.
为什么你这种男人 Why would a man like you
会要如此匆忙的赶回家呢 with such an orderly life suddenly have to hurry?
和家庭有关 It has to do with family.
我妻子和我… My wife and I have decided that we...
我们还是想要孩子 we miss having children, after all.
如果想要孩子的话 就必须得现在 And that if we are to have children,it has to be now.
我妻子昨天打电话给我 So my wife called yesterday to say that she...
说她开始排卵了 She started ovulating.
一切指标都显示今晚是最佳生育期 And all signs point to maximum fertility precisely tonight.
所以 You see?
我只能在车站给她买了礼物 That's why I bought her a gift at the station.
我必须尽快到家 I had to get a ticket home as quickly as possible.
- 我明白了 - 你明白什么了？ - Well, I understand now. - What is it you understand?
为什么你不愿和我们做爱 Why you didn't have sex with us.
我并不是因为不愿意才不做 It wasn't because I didn't want to.
你在保存精子 So you've been saving your sperm.
几个星期了 我是说你和你的妻子 For weeks. I mean,you and your wife are...
看起来对待每次尝试受孕 seem to be at an age where every attempt
都非常认真 to become pregnant has to be taken very seriously.
现在 Right now, my...
我被告知精子质量正在顶峰期 My sperm quality is at its peak, I'm told.
请不要 Please...
求你了 别这样 I'm begging you, please don't.
没事的 It's okay.
请不要 Please don't.
你明明很想要 You've been as horny as hell.
还要拼命克制自己 But you wouldn't give up your load.
不要 Please don't.
见鬼 Oh, fuck.
哇哦 Wow.
对你而言 不是玛德琳蛋糕的味道 In your case, it wasn't the taste of a Madeleine cake,
也不是青柠茶的味道 moistened with lime blossom tea,
而是混合了巧克力和精液的味道 but the combination of chocolate and sperm.
什么？ What?
那都是亵渎神明文化的题外话 That was a piece of culturally blasphemic digression.
这是关于记忆的故事 It's a story about memory.
混合两种口味 How the combination of two flavors
引起了我一连串的记忆 set off a chain of memories.
所以口交 从垂钓者的角度来看 So oral sex became,in the eye of the angler,
就是你们"芬兰武器" your... your Finnish weapon.
这就是你唯一的评论吗 Is that your only comment?
那还有什么 你还想让我说什么 What else... What else do you want me to say?
我这种做法是不对的 That I behaved reprehensibly.
这证明了我是个 That already my actions exemplify
差劲的人 that I'm a...I'm a terrible human being.
我没这么觉得 That's not the way I see it.
相反 我觉得你的故事 On the contrary, I saw it as a...
富于乐趣和幽默感 A very pleasurable and humorous story.
不是所有的悲伤 或被罪拖累 Not at all sad, or...or weighed down by sin.
都是关于潘多拉的魔盒 Like all that talk about Pandora's Box.
我故意利用以及伤害他人 I've consciously used and hurt others...
仅仅为了满足自身的快感 for the sake of my own satisfaction.
而且这还只是个开头 And what I've told you so far only begins to suggest that.
当你在讲述的时候 你很快乐 But when you told the story,you were cheerful.
而且不乏幽默 Full of humor.
如果你不说这是悲惨的故事那它就不是 It wasn't as if you embarked on some tragic tale.
这就是我说话的方式 Well, that's the way I am.
我一着很享受发热开始时的寒颤 I've always loved the chills at the start of a fever,
但我很清楚疾病马上就要跟之而来 knowing only too well that sickness will soon follow.
你只不过是因为年轻气盛 The only thing you've done,
让S射了一次精 except giving a few people an experience to remember,
与此同时 is that you...
你还给很多人 You relieved S from his load
带去一次值得回忆的经历 in some... some youthful hubris.
我在哪读到过 如果太久不射精 I read somewhere that if you keep the load too long
精子会死的 the sperm will die.
还有可能无法生育 Or worse, degenerate.
也许多亏了你 S先生和他的妻子 Maybe thanks to you,Mr. S and his wife
现在有个健康的宝宝呢 now have a healthy and well-functioning child.
我发现了自己作为女人的力量 I discovered my power as a woman
就不顾他人感受开始滥用 and used it without any concern for others.
这是完全不可接受的 That's completely unacceptable.
亲爱的 Oh, little darling...
别这么叫我 Don't you "little darling" me.
好 No.
我只想说 What I wanted to say was that
有了翅膀 为何不翱翔 if you have wings, why not fly?
请允许我岔开话题 Allow me to digress.
我读了一本关于西科尔斯基和直升机的书 I read a book about Sikorski and helicopters
作者在书中强调 where the author stressed the fact that
为了起飞 你必须向前倾斜直升机 in order to take off, you tilt the helicopter forward.
看起来好像直升机要撞向地面 It looks like you're trying to force the helicopter
但效果是截然相反的 down into the ground,but the effect is the contrary.
螺旋桨快速旋转 That the velocity takes the helicopter
会让直升机升向空中 and sweeps it up in the air.
飞行员说是直升机想飞 The pilots say the helicopter wants to fly.
就好像当你在滑翔机里 It's like when you're in a glider plane,
突然间升了起来 and suddenly you're lifted,
是由于热辐射自然发生 because of the spontaneous emission of thermals.
当太阳照射到大地时 Thermals is when the sun is warming up the field,
产生热气泡 热空气开始上升 and it emits a thermal bubble of warm air that rises.
这些飞机 他们想要飞 These aircraft, they want to fly.
只是有点无法预测 It's just a little unpredictable when.
你在那辆火车上起飞 You flew on that... on that train.
会让你感到吃惊 And that surprised you.
不要再讲了 No more stories.
你该睡觉了 You need to sleep.
不 不 No, no.
我才刚开始觉得有趣呢 This is beginning to amuse me.
我都不知道你的名字 I don't even know your name.
我叫乔 My name is Joe.
我是塞利格曼 I'm Seligman.
真是个怪异的名字 What a fucking ridiculous name.
犹太名字 It's Jewish.
你说了你不信教的 You said you weren't religious.
我不信 但我曾祖父信教 No, but my great-grandfather was.
我父母给我取这个名字是为了 And my parents gave me the name as a sort of...
怀念一下犹太教而已 sentimental association to Judaism.
为什么让宗教中的情感部分 Why let the sentimental part of religion, as you said,
超越了宗教自身而存在 outlive religion itself?
你说得对 You have a point.
但我们一直是犹太复国主义者 But we've always been anti-Zionists,
这和反犹主义试图用政治手段 which is not the same as being anti-Semitic,
强迫我们皈依是不一样的 as certain political powers try to convince us.
塞利格曼 Seligman...
意为"快乐的人" means "the happy one."
那你快乐吗 So, are you happy then?
我觉得是吧 Well, I suppose I am.
我自己觉得快乐就行 In my own way.
即使我是那种 Even if I'm the kind of person
先剪右手指甲的人 who cut the nails of the right hand first.
什么意思 What does that mean?
我把人分成两种 Well, I divide humanity into two groups:
一种是先剪左手指甲的人 the people who cut the nails on the left hand first,
另外一种则是先剪右手指甲的人 and the people who cut the nails of the right hand first.
我的理论认为先剪左手指甲的人 My theory is that the people who cut the nails
这类人更加的无忧无虑一些 of the left hand first,they're more light-hearted.
他们更愿意去享受生活 They have a tendency to enjoy life more,
因为他们从简单的事做起 because they go straight for the easiest task, and...
把困难留在后面 save the difficulties for later.
- 你是怎么剪的 - 总是先剪左手指甲 - So what do you do? - Always the left hand first.
我没想过这还有先后之选 I don't think there's a choice.
总是先从简单的开始 Go for the pleasure first, always.
当你剪完左手指甲之后 And then when you've done the left hand,
不就只剩下右手了吗 only the right hand remains.
事情不也就简单了吗 That's the easiest one left.
这我倒从没想过 I never thought of it like that.
看来 我还是得 Well, you're never too old.
学到老活到老啊 Never too old to learn.
那是羊角面包 That's rugelach.
没错 是一种犹太面包 Mm-hmm.Yeah, it's a Jewish cake.
- 这又是一种怀念 - 不 这不仅是块羊角面包 - There's that sentimentality again. - Oh, but it's more than rugelach.
这块羊角面包要用蛋糕叉吃 It's rugelach served with a cake fork.
我认为羊角面包是糕点 A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry,
所以应该使用蛋糕叉 which there is no excuse for eating with a cake fork.
只是用蛋糕叉吃显得太失男子气概 To serve it with a cake fork is irritatingly unmanly,
但也不能说很女性化 not to say downright feminine.
但这样我们的故事才得以进行下去 However, it can bring us further with the story.
我还认识一个天天吃羊角面包的人 I also knew someone who consumed rugelach every day,
他也用蛋糕叉 almost ritually,with a cake fork.
虽然我们跳跃得有点快 And although we'll be jumping a bit in time,
但我得给你讲讲杰罗姆 I have to tell you about Jerome.
我认为这篇故事 As far as I can see,the next chapter
不像其他故事那样 doesn't contain as direct an accusation
有谴责我个人的内容 against my person as the rest of the story.
但你读了很多以后 显然 But as you've read a great deal, apparently,
在故事里事情变坏以前 you know that in a story things have to be good
它们还是美好的 before they can be bad.
这篇会像你的名字一样充满怀念意味 The chapter will also make a sentimental soul like you happy
因为这篇包含了我对爱情的探索 as it contains observations on the subject of love.
[第二章 杰罗姆]
我能跟你说件事吗 Can I tell you something?
当然 Sure.
- 当然 - 当然 - Yeah. - Yeah, sure.
可能对你不重要 It might not be important to you...
但对我很重要 But it is to me.
我以前从未高潮过 I've never had an orgasm before.
真的吗 Really?
这是我的第一次 You're my first one.
你不知道这话让我有多高兴 You don't know how happy that makes me.
我爱你 I love you.
这是我的第一次 You're my first.
我得承认 Well, I have to admit,
很多女孩都这么说过 quite a lot of girls say that.
火车旅行增大了我的胃口 The train trip had increased my appetite,
不久B和我开了一个社团 and soon B and I started a club
取名叫做"一撮人" that we called "The Little Flock."
下体至上 Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva.
B毫无疑问的是领头人 B, of course, took the lead
因为她一向是最无畏的 as she was the most daring of us.
她是天主教出身 你肯定很熟悉 She was raised Catholic.I'm sure you're familiar
天主教教堂的那些仪式 with the practices of the Catholic Church.
下体至上 ...mea maxima vulva.Mea vulva, mea...
有意思 That's interesting.
亵渎神明 恶魔崇拜 Blasphemic, satanic.
那个乐曲 从b调到f调的那个音程 The music. The interval between "B" and "F."
是三全音 是魔鬼音程 It's a tritone.The devil’s interval.
从中世纪起这种乐曲就被禁了 It was banned from music in the Middle Ages.
这是吸尘器发明的 Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it.
她学过钢琴 She took piano lessons.
吸尘器 Vacuum Cleaner?
吸尘器对疲软的阴茎有一套独特的方法 The Vacuum Cleaner possessed a special talent for floppy cocks.
她阴道里像有一台吸尘器一样 She had some kind of vacuum in her cunt.
我正在想像那个场景 I was imagining something like that.
第八页十四行 Fourteenth of the eighth.
我在一个叫“驴子”的地方 I was at a place called The Donkey.
男孩们在大学聚会上眼都直了 The boys were staring,University hangout.
我搭讪了一个傻傻的家伙 I approached the stupidest one of the lot
他问去地下室怎么走 and asked for directions to the underground.
他是学文学的 He studied literature.
我告诉他我读过很多书 也十分敬佩 I told him I read a lot,and that I really admired people
那些潜心专研学问的人 that chose to study subjects in depth.
我说他是个傻瓜 As I said, he was very stupid.
跟我说说克尔凯郭尔（丹麦哲学家） Told me all about Kierkegaard.
我点点头 笑了笑 I nodded, smiled.
接着他问我要不要一起去别的地方 Then he asked if we could go elsewhere.
这个傻瓜以为靠他的鬼话在五分钟内就把我钓到了 The idiot thought he'd pulled me after five minutes of his bullshit.
我告诉他我正在月经期 I told him I was on my period,
所以我给他打了手枪 and I took out his cock and gave him a hand job.
他的鸡巴又小又丑 还有点包皮过紧 Ugly, little shriveled cock,with a tight foreskin.
当我把它拉出来时 都有些疲软了 When I pulled it back,it sort of collapsed
但最后还算管用 大学男生真恶心 but it worked in the end.University boys are disgusting.
在他们回来之前 我给他打了手枪 And then I jacked him off until he shook
直到他身体颤抖着射了 你懂的 in that way they do, you know.Just before they come.
我放开了他的鸡巴站了起来 Then I let go of his cock and got up.
他面朝着墙站着 我离开了 I left him standing up against the wall
他的裤子还挂在脚踝 看起来很吃惊 with his pants round his ankles looking stunned.
B的信息也不是很具有代表性 Now, B's message wasn't exactly representational.
她只是被迫变得坚强 She just had to be the tough one.
这还是针对于男人 It was directed at the men.
这个社团是关于 性交以及淫荡的权利 It was about fucking,and about having the right to be horny.
我们在一起手淫啊什么的 We masturbated together,that kind of thing.
但我们很叛逆 But it was rebellious.
我们不能有男朋友 We weren't allowed to have boyfriends.
不能操一个人两次 No fucking the same guy more than once.
你说你们叛逆 你们都反抗什么？ You said you were rebellious.What did you rebel against?
爱情 Love.
爱情 Love?
我们发誓要反抗这推崇爱情的社会 We were committed to combat the love-fixated society.
我坚信着我们这个社团 I really believed in our Little Flock.
但是我还是太天真了 But of course,that was naive of me.
时间飞逝 即使是最坚定的那个 Over time, even the strongest
也无法践行我们的誓言了 couldn't stay true to our manifest.
五次中的第三次 这是我这周和亚历克斯的 Third of the fifth. My third intercourse this week,
- 第三次爱爱了 - 第三次了 - again with Alex. - Third?
我们不能发过誓不操同一个人两次吗 Haven't we stated that we fuck each guy once?
是的 但他实在是很可爱 Yes, but he was rather sweet.
可爱 Sweet?
- 性感 你懂的 - 性感 - Well, you know, sexy. - Well, then, say sexy.
他揉捏我的耳垂 He squeezed my earlobes.
耳垂 不错 他还捏了什么 Earlobes? Great.What else did he squeeze?
你不明白亚历克斯 I don't think you can understand Alex.
我也不想明白 I don't want to.
- 我们的感情 - 感情? - Our relationship-- - Relationship.
看看你自己 There you are.
你描述的方式 应该是充满欲望的 The way you're describing it,which should be full of lust,
而不是像父亲对孩子说的 is just a nauseating analysis of his future abilities
你未来前途的令人作呕的分析 as a father to your child.
你认为你真的懂性吗 You think you know everything about sex.
性的秘方是爱情 The secret ingredient to sex is love.
对我而言爱情只是欲望加嫉妒罢了 For me, love was just lust with jealousy added.
其他的都是屁话 Everything else was total nonsense.
每一百起以爱情的名义犯下的罪行 For every 100 crimes committed in the name of love,
只有一起是以性的名义 only one is committed in the name of sex.
真是独特的见解 That's quite a statement.
总之这事让我想要开始认真的学习 Well, it all strengthened my wish for a serious education.
格拉斯哥[英国城市] Glasgow.
亚伯丁[苏格兰一郡] Aberdeen.
你笑什么 Why are you smiling?
我只是在想象你的故事 Well, I just pictured
会传达出怎么样的一种教育 how an education would be conveyed in your storytelling.
没什么好笑的 Well, that's nothing to smile about.
抱歉 Oh, I understand that.
那你后来去学了什么 So what kind of education did you get?
我开始像我父亲一样开始学医 I began studying medicine,like my father.
今天我们要进行的实习叫流产 Today we are going to perform the procedure that's called an abortion.
我们打开宫颈通道 进入子宫 We open up our cervical channel to enter the uterus,
我们用所谓的“黑格尔棒” and to get access to the fetus,
来接近胎儿 for which we use the so-called Hegal sticks.
我们进入阴道 再进入宫颈通道 We enter the vagina tract, and go into the cervical channel.
开始我们用小号的棒子 We start with a small sized stick
将对组织造成的伤害减至最低 to cause a minimum of damage to the tissue.
然后再换大号的棒子 And then we increase the size of the stick.
但我越来越难以学下去 But it was harder and harder for me to concentrate,
所以我学的越来越少就退学了 so I studied less and less,till finally I dropped out.
当我放弃后我爸爸对我很失望 My dad was very disappointed when I stopped.
但那也是唯一一次我看到我妈妈发自内心的微笑 But it was the only time I saw my mother really smile
她说 “记住我以前跟你说过什么” when she said,"What did I tell you?"
然后我就开始找工作 So instead, I began to look for a job.
事实证明工作很难找 It turned out it was hard to get a job
根本找不到有体面薪水的职位 that paid even halfway decently.
我根本什么都不会 I didn't really know how to do anything.
所以我在申请一家打印社助理时 So I didn't have high hopes when I applied for a position
也就没抱太大期望 as an assistant at a printing house.
能再多讲一些 So, could you tell me a little bit more
你的背景吗 about your background?
呃… Um...
教育背景 Education-wise.
我高中毕业 决定学医 Well, I finished high school,and decided to study medicine.
但我没有毕业 But I didn't finish.
我知道这份工作跟我学的东西没什么关系 I know it sounds a bit pointless coming here.
- 是啊 - 我真的很需要一份工作 - Right. - I just really need a job.
我到处都试过了 And I've tried everywhere.
我一般不会因为别人需要工作 就给他们工作 I don't usually give jobs to people just because they need one.
那文秘技巧呢？ 你有吗 What about secretarial skills?Do you have any of those?
没有 我以为做秘书不需要什么技巧 No, I didn't think you needed skills.
你以为作为秘书 You didn't think you needed skills for this position
- 是不需要技巧的？ - 是的 - as a secretary? - No.
你会拆信吗 Can you open an envelope?
会 我会拆信 Yes, I... Yes, I think I can open an envelope.
很高兴听你这么说 Well, I'm glad to hear that.
我要去问问我的老板 杰罗姆先生 I shall discuss this conversation with Mr. Jerome, my boss.
你觉得我有机会吗 Do you think there's a chance?
可能没有 I doubt it.
显然完全没有经验 Well, apparently,having absolutely no experience
也足以担任这个职位 is absolutely fine for this job.
这份工作是你的了 You've got it.
意思是我明天开始上班吗 Does that mean I should start tomorrow?
是的 就是这样 Yeah, I suppose it does.
- 早上好 - 早 - Good morning. - Right.
什么事 Yes?
- 早上好 先生 - 早上好 - Good morning, sir. - Good morning.
我想向你介绍一下 我们新来的初级秘书 I just wanted to introduce you to our new junior secretary.
乔？你应该想跟她说一下工作职责吧 Joe? I believe you wanted to explain her work duties.
这位就是新来的初级秘书 先生 This is the new junior secretary.
莉兹 能给我倒杯咖啡吗 Liz, can I have another coffee?
- 当然 先生 - 谢谢 - Yes, of course, sir. - Thank you.
嗨 Hi.
- 杰罗姆 - 你的初恋 - Jerome. - Your first love.
你一定没想到我能出人头地吧 I bet you didn't think I'd make something of myself, right?
现在我却坐在这儿 And now, here I sit.
M&J莫里斯有限责任公司的总裁 The director's chair of M & J Morris, Ltd.
- 是啊 确实出乎意料 - 出乎意料 - Yeah, it's quite surprising. - Surprising?
这是上帝的旨意 It's a sign from God.
那次以后我经常想起你 You know, I've thought about you often since then.
你想起过我吗 Have you thought of me?
- 那么… - 什么 - Well... - What?
这位子通常都是我叔叔坐的 Usually, you know,my uncle sits here.
但他胃有点不舒服 But he's developed a bit of a tummy problem,
所以这会儿正在做水疗泡澡 so he's at the spa,taking long baths,
大量饮水 真可怜 没人知道要多久 drinking lots of water, poor guy.And no one knows for how long.
所以我现在代表了M&J莫里斯有限责任公司中的J So now I'm the "J" in M & J Morris, Ltd.
怎么样 How about that?
我们印各种名片 信封之类的扯淡玩意儿 We print cards and envelopes,nonsense like that.
这行业真他妈复杂 It's a bloody complicated business, you know.
我完全不懂 I don't understand a word of it.
来吧 我带你四处逛逛 好吗 Come, I'll show you around. Yes?
- 莉兹 - 是 先生 - Ladies? - Yes, sir.
你在那儿呢 做得好 Oh, look, there you are.Good job.
每次你活干得漂亮 我就会说"做得好 莉兹" Every time you do a good job,I say, "Good job, Liz."
- 谢谢 先生 - 她叫什么 - Thank you, sir. - What's her name?
- 莉兹 - 做得好 莉兹 - Liz. - Good job, Liz.
- 做得好 莉兹 - 做得好 莉兹 - Good job, Liz. - Good job, Liz.
电梯停了 It stopped.
我操 Fuck.
是啊 Yes.
- 那不是个警铃[警告]吗 - 给谁的警告 - Well, isn't there an alarm? - Which?
- 那不是个警铃吗 - 警铃 对 - Isn't there... - Alarm, right, yes.
好想法 Good thinking.
我看… Imagine...
这些年来你还是这么漂亮 you look just as great all these years later.
别 Oh, no.
- 不要 - 不要？ - No. - No?
不 杰罗姆 这样不行 No, Jerome, this won't work.
- 哪样不行 - 这样 - Which won't work? - This.
为什么不行 Why not?
你不是我喜欢的类型 You're not really my type.
那就这样了吗 That's how it's gonna be?
- 是的 - 好吧 - Yes. - All right.
我操啊 Fuck's sake.
好吧 Okay.
呃… Um...
把手给我 Give me your hand.
我这个消防员握住你了 We'll do fireman's grip.
- 你还好吗 - 还好 - You okay? - Yeah.
你为什么不跟他做爱 Why didn't you have sex with him?
你以前一定会在电梯里做爱 You must have had sex in a lift before.
我也不知道 我上过很多傻瓜 I'm not quite sure.I've shagged lots of idiots.
比他更傻的傻瓜我都上过 Including worse idiots than him.
当然 我… Of course, I...
我很后悔他那时回来了 I regretted that it had been him back then.
但那只是多愁善感的胡言乱语 But that's just sentimental drivel.
我不再多愁善感了 And I'm not sentimental.
那他接着就辞退你了吧 I suppose he fired you then.
没有 如果他辞退了我 那他就输了 No. If he had fired me,then he would have lost.
因为我不记得有谁 As I didn't recall anyone
划定过我的工作职责 having defined my work duties,
我决定打扫一下 让工作环境更舒适 I decided to clean up in order to smooth the waters.
早上好 先生 Good morning, sir.
- 有电话吗 - 没有 先生 - Any calls? - No, sir.
- 你做了什么 - 打扫了一下 - What have you done? - Oh. I cleaned up.
你打扫了 You cleaned up.
- 这儿挺乱的… - 莉兹 - It was quite messy, and-- - Liz?
- 是 先生 - 她打扫了 - Yes, sir? - She cleaned up.
我 我不知道 先生 I know, I... I didn't know, sir.
- 我坐在这儿没看到 - 你疯了吗 - I was away from my desk. - Are you completely mad?
茶和油酥点心在这儿干什么 What is the tea and pastry doing here?
我以为你会喜欢这样的早餐 I thought that's what you wanted for--
你以为？ 你不该自以为是 You thought?You're not supposed to think.
我不是花钱请你来"以为"的 重做 I don't pay you to think, do I?This is a do-over.
- 重做 - 对 - A do-over... - Right.
拿起来 带出去 重新做一份 Pick it up. Take it outside.And do it again.
等一下 One moment.
进来 Come in.
你现在想喝茶吃蛋糕吗 Would now be a good time for some tea and cake?
好 为什么不呢 Sure, why not?
妈的点心叉在哪 Where the fuck's my cake fork?
- 点心叉 - 对 - Cake fork? - Right.
我本想给你拿一把的 但就觉得 不太合适 Well, I would have got you one,but it just... feels inappropriate.
娇气 Unmanly.
娘炮 Feminine.
不过另一方面 Well, on the other hand,
点心叉算是很实用的工具 you must say that a cake fork is a rather practical tool.
像是刀和叉的结合 It's like a cross between a knife and a fork.
重点在于 The point is that you're supposed to be able
应该用一只手托着点心碟 to hold the cake dish with one hand
另一只手切蛋糕 and then cut it with the other.
然后再用叉子戳来吃 And then eat it with the fork.
这不是娘炮 至少也算是小资 It's not feminine,it's at least bourgeois.
传说布尔什维克 It's said that the Bolsheviks,
横行俄国时 during their rampage through Russia,
为了将男人和男孩区分开 to separate the men from the boys,
精确说来 是将资产阶级和无产阶级区分开 or rather the bourgeoisie from the proletariat,
他们带了一个男孩 在烧毁房屋之前 they brought a boy,and before burning down a house
派他进去查看屋里有没有点心叉 they sent him in to make sure they had cake forks.
你骗我的 That's not true.
我没有第一手资料 I don't have the story first-hand.
你好 Hello.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hi. - Hi.
不知道你能不能帮帮我 I was wondering if you could help me.
这东西突然变得好脏 看 是吗？ It's suddenly gone very dirty.See, yes?
看 你把脏手放在上面了 See, you've got your dirty fingers on there.
也许我们该给你洗洗手 Maybe we should wash your hands.
是啊 Yeah, better.
嗯 Mm-hmm.
- 你一定天赋异禀吧 - 当然 - You must be very talented. - Yeah, sure.
嗯 Hmm.
你看 这里有个污点 You see, here's got a stain.
如果你问杰罗姆 他一定会说 If you'd asked Jerome, he would have said
是我先宣战的 that I was the one who'd declared war.
他许多次带我进城 就为了让我帮他拿外套 Many times he'd take me into town just so I could hold his coat.
- 那里 - 哪呢 - There. - Where?
那里 那辆绿车后面 There, behind the green car.
- 车位不够大 - 够大了 宽敞着呢 - It's not big enough. - It is, there's plenty of space.
我看到了 不够的 I saw it, it's not enough space.
跟你说车位很宽敞 I'm telling you,there's plenty of space.
不行 空间太小了 长车停不下 No. It's too small a space for such a long car.
我能试试吗 Can I try?
- 你能试试吗 - 我对这种事可拿手了 - Can you try? - I'm a wizard at this.
我刚试过了 车位不够大 乔 I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe.
你也看到了 不够地方的 好吗 You just saw me do it.It's not enough space, okay?
- 我能试试吗 - 你想试 - Can I try? - Fuck. You want to try?
为什么不呢 Why not?
笨蛋 Stupid.
这时候我内心发生了 It was about this time that a dramatic change
巨大的改变 happened inside of me.
我突然可以看到杂乱之中的章法 I could suddenly see a kind of order in the mess.
你就傻站在这里看着 Are you just standing here looking?
是啊 我已经开始喜欢他的杂乱 Yeah. I've begun to like his mess.
什么意思 How do you mean?
这里所有东西都是杰罗姆放置的 Well, these are all things placed by Jerome.
杰罗姆亲手放置的 I mean, by Jerome's hands.
听起来你想被杰杰罗姆先生掌控 Sounds to me like you would like to be handled by Mr. Jerome.
亲爱的 你爱上了他 Darling, you're in love with him.
一切都大错特错 It was all very, very wrong.
我想成为杰罗姆的一件东西 I wanted to be one of Jerome's things.
我想被他一次次拿起又放下 I wanted to be picked up and put down, again and again.
我想被他以一些 I wanted to be treated by his hands
我不明白的复杂原则 according to some sophisticated principle
用双手触碰 that I didn't understand.
他那双强有力的大手吗 His strong hands?
是的 但现在已经不止是他的双手了 Yes, but now it was no longer just about his hands.
好像他的一切都不同了 It's as if everything about him was different,
事实当然并非如此 我脑中也非常明白 which, of course, it wasn't and I knew that in my head.
我痛斥自己以这种新眼光看待他 And I scolded myself for seeing him in this new light.
- 爱就是盲目的 - 不不 比那更糟 - Love is blind. - No, no, no, it's worse.
爱会扭曲事物 Love distorts things.
或者更糟 爱让你 Or even worse...love is something
始料未及 you've never asked for.
我想要好色的男人 甚至要求这样的男人 The erotic was something I asked for,or even demanded of men.
但这愚蠢的爱 But this idiotic love...
我觉得受到了羞辱 I felt humiliated by it,
还有随之而来的欺骗 and all the dishonesty that follows.
好色的是答应 The erotic is about saying yes.
爱是人类最低等的诉求 Love appeals to the lowest instincts,
裹在谎言之中 wrapped up in lies.
本意是拒绝 又怎么答应呢 反之亦然 How do you say "yes" when you mean "no," and vice versa.
我羞耻于自己当时的模样 I'm ashamed of what I became.
但已经不由我控制 But it was beyond my control.
- 你知道自己现在在做什么吗 - 不知道 我在做什么 - You know what you're doing now? - No, what am I doing?
你在维护你的品行 You're defending your personality.
我们现在不是为了揭露它吗 I thought the point was to reveal it.
- 谢谢 - 不客气 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
谢谢的意思是 “就这样吧” Thank you meaning, "That's all."
你可以走了 再见 乔 You can go now.Goodbye, Joe.
这时 我又开始散步了 At this time,I took up walking again.
你走进树林？ You walked in the forest?
是 我走进树林 Yes, I walked in the forest.
我童年的树林 The forest of my childhood.
我在同一条小道一遍又一遍地散着步 I took the same walk again and again.
走过门房向右转 Right turn after the gatehouse,
经过白蜡树再右转 and right again by the ash tree,
白蜡树拥有树林里最美的叶子 which has the most beautiful leaves in the forest,
再继续走 经过那位牵着贵宾犬的女士 and further on,past a lady with her poodle,
还有坐在长凳上的老人 and the old man on the bench.
我无法让自己不去想杰罗姆 I couldn't free myself of the image of Jerome
以及他不经意间的优雅 and his careless elegance.
这段时间里 我也跟其他男人做爱 And during this time,when I was with other men,
但我不让他们用手触碰我的身体 I forbade them to touch my body with their hands.
很快我干脆停止了做爱 And soon, I stopped having sex altogether.
我一直想去遇见他 I tried to meet him all the time.
我查到了他的住处 I found out where he lived,
当然 我从不敢按下门铃 but of course,never dared ring his doorbell.
我甚至开始故意羞辱我自己 I even started humiliating myself on purpose
就为了让他能注意到我 in order for him to notice me.
你撞坏了一只尾灯 You broke a taillight.
是的 I did.
我还以为你是专业的停车向导 I thought you were such a wizard at parking.
没错 So did I.
赔偿将会从你工资里扣除 It'll be deducted from your salary.
车身太长了 It's a long car.
我花了很多时间写下一封信 I worked for a long time on a letter
我在信中倾诉了对他的感情 in which I told him about my feelings for him,
但我又没有勇气去交给他 but couldn't bring myself to hand it over.
- 再见 - 再见 - Bye. - Bye. Bye.
一个月后 A month would pass
我终于鼓起勇气去送信了 before I had built up enough courage to deliver it.
终于我还是给他写了封信 Well, I've written him a letter after all.
你认为这是个坏主意吗 Do you think that the letter is a bad idea?
不 我认为你做的没错 No, I think it's the right thing to do.
我只是… 我想你也许应该等到星期五 I'm just... I think maybe you should wait until Friday.
为什么 Why?
他通常会在星期五心情比较好 He's always in a good mood on Fridays.
好的 Okay.
不好意思 这不是杰罗姆的办公室吗 I'm sorry, isn't this...Jerome's office?
很高兴这么说 这儿从来不是 I'm happy to say that this never has been
也永远不会是杰罗姆的办公室 and never will be Jerome's office.
我身体不适时 由我侄子暂代我的职位 My nephew has been standing in for me while I've been unwell.
这封信是给他的吗 What's that? A letter for him?
是的 Yes.
给我吧 我会转交给他的 Give it to me and I'll make sure he gets it.
我不能保证什么时候 因为他早就离开了 Can't promise when that might be because he's long gone.
年轻人到底拿什么钱来满足他们抑制不住的旅行渴望 How the young finance their irrepressible desire
对我还真是个谜 for travel is a mystery to me.
- 他离开了 - 抛弃了我们 是的 - So he's gone? - Deserted us, yes.
胡说着什么环球旅行 Raving about a trip around the world,
- 还有结婚 - 结婚 - and married, and all. - Married?
结婚 是的 Marriage, yes.
跟我的秘书突然私奔了 Flown the coop with my secretary.
莉兹 Liz.
那你的工作呢 And your job?
杰罗姆的叔叔需要有关这行 Well, it turned out that Jerome's uncle
更多一点的知识 所以... demanded a bit more knowledge about the business, so...
我懂 I see.
你作为一个差劲的人的证据 Well, as for evidence of you being a bad human being,
在这一章里也没有太多 there wasn't much to go on in this chapter.
是的 我说过 至少表面上是这样 Yes, as I said.At least superficially.
- 我想你嫉妒了 - 不 我不是嫉妒 - I suppose you were jealous. - No, I wasn't jealous.
我不懂那种感觉 I didn't know that feeling.
只有超人才会没有感受过嫉妒吧 It's almost superhuman not to feel jealousy.
那爱就到此为止了 Well, that was the end of love, then?
也许没这么简单 Well, maybe not quite as simple.
不过那是后话了 正如小说里写的那样 But more about that later,as they say in the novels.
杰罗姆就突然消失了 And Jerome just disappeared?
是的 不过我想 大庭广众 Yes. Though I'd tried to keep him in my own way, mentally,
在火车上自慰 以此将他留在心里 as I masturbated on the train amongst other people.
你在火车上自慰 在座位上吗 You masturbated on the train,on the seat?
- 是的 当然 - 可能吗 - Yes, of course. - And that's possible?
很简单 只需把大衣放在膝盖上 Easily.You just put your coat in your lap.
可以面无表情地秘密进行 It can be done silently without expression.
只有一件事可能会让我暴露 The only thing that could give me away
就是高潮的时候会张开嘴巴 对大多数女人都是这样 and mostly to women,was my open mouth when I came.
我做起了拼图 I did a jigsaw puzzle.
拼图 Ajigsaw puzzle?
我在其他乘客身上找到 I found details in the other passengers
能让我想起杰罗姆的细节 that reminded me of Jerome.
但终究 But in the long run,
我还是记不清这些细节 I couldn't hold onto the details of him,
不论我有多努力 no matter how hard I tried.
你也可以这样说 So, you could say that in a way,
杰罗姆就像剪影一样一直跟着你 Jerome followed you as a kind of silhouette.
没错 但是作为性要素会逐渐消失 Yes, but gradually disappearing as a sexual being.
也许这就是记忆吧 只能记住轮廓 Maybe that's how it is with memory.You remember silhouettes.
和本质 The essentials.
不过那也未必就是件坏事 But that's not necessarily a bad thing.
当然 作为冬日的轮廓 Of course there's silhouettes in the winter.
树木很难分辨 The trees are difficult to tell apart.
看到这些芽了吗 These buds...
我父亲仍然义无返顾的 My father wrestled courageously
教我认识植物和树的种类 with his flora and tree type guides.
实际上 It's actually...
冬日里 它们就是树的灵魂 the souls of the trees we see in the winter.
夏天 万物复苏 如田园诗般 In summer, everything's green and idyllic,
但在冬天 树的枝干就凸显出来了 but in the winter, the branches and the trunks, they all stand out.
你看这些树枝 多么盘根错节 Look at how crooked they all are.
这些树枝必须让所有树叶都沐浴在阳光下 The branches have to carry all of the leaves into the sunlight.
这是为了生存下去的漫长斗争 It's one long struggle for survival.
我父亲把裸露的枝干叫做树的灵魂 My father surprised me by calling the naked trunks
这让我感到惊讶 the souls of the trees.
他有如此诗意的想法非常罕见 A poetic thought that was rare for him,
就他而言 他还是更相信经验科学 as by his own account, he preferred the empirical sciences.
那杰罗姆之后呢 And after Jerome?
我表现得 I reacted, um...
怎么说呢 太激进 Well, let's just say... aggressively.
- 怎么个激进法 - 寻找男人的过程愈演愈烈 - How? - By intensifying my hunt for men.
你知道超市的自动门吧 You know these supermarket doors
开与关都是感应式的 that open and close by way of some kind of sensor?
现在这些门就好像我的阴道 Now compare these doors to my cunt,
带有极度敏感的感应器 and add an extraordinarily sensitive sensor.
感应门一张开就使我有机会开展 My sensitive door opening gave me an opportunity
从树叶到生殖器的形态组织学研究 to develop my morphological studies from knees to genitals.
从始至终 我的学习之旅 用儿童书籍的术语来说 I embarked on a trip through, what, in the lingo of children's books,
其中一本可能叫《大黑鸟之国》 one might call, "The Country of the Big, Bad Cocks."
或者《小黄鸟之乡》等等 "The Country of the Small Yellow Cocks," and so on.
大多数时候 我都在与 And most of all, I battled my way
数不尽的割过包皮的阴茎战斗 through an untold number of circumcised cocks.
对了 你知不知道如果你 By the way, did you know that if you combine
你把有史以来割下来的包皮连在一起 all the foreskin cut off through history,
可以连到火星再连回来 it would reach to Mars and back again?
H夫人 "Mrs. H."
[第三章 H夫人]
到目前为止 我的男人交际圈颇具规模 By now, I had built up a sizable circle of men,
很难记住他们谁都是谁 and was starting to have trouble remembering who was who.
宝贝儿 想见面吗 Hello, sweetheart.Want to meet?
我是费舍尔 It's Fisher.
我躺在这儿 想你还有你说过的话 I'm lying here thinking of you and what you said.
你要真那么想 我一点儿也不生气 I'm not angry at all if that's what you're thinking.
乔 又是我 罗伯 Hi, Joe. It's Rob again.
上次见面真的很开心 I had a really good time seeing you.
给我...给我回电 Give me a... Give me a call.
嗨 乔 Hi, Joe.
我之前留过很多次言 你还好吗 I left a couple of messages.Is everything all right?
很快我就放弃了试图 I quickly gave up trying to remember
记起某段关系 这根本不可能 the individual relationships.It was impossible.
而且也无法预料到他们想听什么 And impossible to predict what they wanted to hear.
所以我想了个办法 So I invented a method.
一切都随机决定 It was all based on chance.
一表示 热情洋溢充满爱意的答复 A one meant an overly loving answer.
二表示 没那么激情但仍给对方以希望 A two, not quite as passionate,but still positive.
以此类推 一直到五 就是完全拒绝 And so on, up to five,which was a complete rejection.
而六表示 不再回复 And six, no answer at all.
这个方法的诀窍是我不需要 The trick with this method was that I didn't have to worry about
担心个人关系 the individual relationships,
但变得完全不可预知 but instead became completely unpredictable,
会使男人更加疯狂 which, of course,drove the men even wilder.
艾迪 是我 Hey, Eddie, it's me.
我考虑了很久 Listen, I've given this a lot of thought,
我想我们还是别再联系了 再见 and I've come to the conclusion that we're done. Bye.
我在想你想不想回来 I was just wondering if you wanted to come back,
或许我们可以干些好事 and maybe we can do something nice.
帕特里克 我是乔 Hi, Patrick, it's Joe.
和你在一起的时光很快乐 我等你回来 I had a really lovely time with you,and I'd love for you to come back.
如果你感兴趣 告诉我 再见 If you're interested,let me know. Bye.
我认为我们不合适 你太聒噪了 I really don't think we match, and you're quite annoying,
我不想再见你了 请别再打电话来 so I don't want to see you anymore.Please don't call back.
听上去很有压力 That sounds rather stressful.
是的 压力很大 Yes, actually, it was.
不过幸运地是 我有本小册子能帮我舒缓心情 But fortunately, I had my little book of comfort.
当我需要慰藉和平静时 就拿出我的植物标本册 When I needed comfort or peace,I took out my herbarium
看着我最爱的树叶 and looked at my favorite leaves.
白腊木 山杨 还有欧椴树 Ash, trembling aspen and lime.
当你像我这样 要和一大群情人打交道时 When you're dealing with a larger group of lovers
就会发现每个人的品性都截然不同 as I was, there will typically be a difference in their qualities.
H是个很难应付的混蛋 H was a sticky bastard.
我请了A吃晚饭 他是我的最爱 I had invited A for dinner,as he was my favorite,
当时H在场变得很急躁 while H, who was present,had become quite irritating.
你得走了 我请了客人吃晚饭 You have to leave.I've got guests for dinner.
但他七点才来 But he's not coming until seven.
是的 但七点很快就到了 No. But seven isn't that far away.
你爱我吗 Do you love me?
A七点就来了 A was to arrive at seven,
我必须得把H赶出我家 and I needed to get H out of there.
我太爱你了 I love you too much.
你一直在许诺 但现在我才明白 You keep promising,but I understand now
你永远都不会为了我离开你的家人 that you'll never leave your family for my sake.
挺让人难过的 但 It's sad, but...
这是你的选择 it's your choice.
只有完全得到你我才会满足 It's not satisfying for me that I can't have you completely.
所以我们不能再见面了 Which is why we can't see each other any longer.
再见吧 Goodbye.
听着 Look...
祝你生活幸福 Have a nice life.
亲爱的 我是你的了 My darling, I'm yours.
我离开她了 I've left her.
- 他进屋了吗 - 是的 - Has he gone inside? - Yes.
门是关着的吗 Is the door closed?
- 你好 - 你好 - Uh, hello. - Hello.
对不起 我们 Apologize. We, uh...
保证过不跟来的 had promised not to come up.
我们只想 We just wanted to...
确保他安全到达 既然他 make sure he got here safely,now that he's...
做了这个重要的决定 made the big decision.
孩子们可以进去看看他吗 May the children see him inside?
他们说告别的经验 They say that the experience of saying goodbye
对抚平以后的心理创伤很有用 can be very useful later when dealing with trauma.
这房间真不错 What a nice place.
非常...波西米亚 It's, uh... so bohemian.
在我们结婚以前 We used to have a place like this before we were...
我们也有个这样的地方 we were married.
在和我丈夫结婚 有孩子以前 Before the children,me and my husband.
哦 抱歉 他不再是我丈夫了 是吗 Oh, I'm sorry.He isn't anymore, is he?
他对我来说就像陌生人且让我困惑 It's all so new and confusing.
他曾经想给予我们一切 但是 He wanted to give us everything, but, uh...
当然我们也不会再接受了 Of course we couldn't accept that.
对了 Oh, that's right.
- 你需要车钥匙 - 不 我不需要车钥匙 - You need the car key. - No, I don't need the car.
你需要的 Oh, yes, you do.
他喜欢那辆车 He likes the car.
给你 Here.
- 别这样 求你拿上吧 - 我不想拿 - Please, just take it. - I don't want it.
- 拿上 - 我他妈的不想要 - Just take it. - I don't want the fucking car!
没事的 我们坐巴士回家 It's all right.We'll get the bus home.
孩子们现在也该习惯公共交通了 对吗 Children might as well get used to public transport now, right?
当然 他们的生活水平跟以前不再一样了 但… Of course, their standard of living won't be the same anymore, but...
我想打扰任何人 I'm not saying that to bother anyone.
人必须要现实 One has to be realistic.
嘿 Hey.
这是什么 What's this?
这是个礼物 It's a present.
他亲自绣的枕头 A pillow he has embroidered himself.
- 这是给谁的 - 爹地 - And who's it for? - Daddy.
我希望你不介意孩子们 I do hope it's all right if the children
在这儿喊他们的父亲"爹地" call their father "Daddy" here.
如果你愿意的话 他们也可以喊"他" If you prefer, they can call him...
或者"那个人" "him," or simply, "the man."
随便什么 Whatever.
“随便什么” "Whatever."
当你得到一切 Must be hard when you've got everything,
知道该怎么说肯定很难 to know what to say.
老实说 我一开始从没想过 To be honest,my first thought was never,
让你们俩见到孩子们 ever to let either of you see the children,
但后来我改变主意了 but then I changed my mind.
我觉得让孩子父亲看看这些 I thought it only right that their father be confronted
生活被他毁掉的孩子们正合适 by the little people whose lives he's destroyed.
把你们的礼物给爹地 Give Daddy your present.
上面是你小儿子绣的汽车 It's a car the little dear has embroidered.
我知道不是所有人都能看出来 I'm aware that not everyone can see it, but...
但用心看总能看到更多 with the heart one can see much,
不过也许这个信息对你来说不太重要 however unimportant that information may be to you.
我能不能给孩子们看看那张淫乱的床 Would it be all right if I show the children the whoring bed?
毕竟 这事跟他们也有关系 After all, they also had a stake in this event.
你们必须看 对吗 You need to see it.Right?
我们去看看爹地最爱的地方 Let's go see Daddy's favorite place.
走吧 孩子们 Come on, boys.
哦 Oh!
一切都是在这里发生的 So this is where it all happened.
你们该试着记住这间屋子 You should try to memorize this room.
尤其是这张床 Especially the bed.
对你们以后的心理治疗有好处 It'll stand you in good stead later in therapy.
哦 Oh.
我坐在这儿 就这么闲扯心理治疗 Here I sit rambling on about therapy
丝毫没考虑到会有什么影响 without a thought of what it might cost.
希望你不要觉得我们来这儿是为了乞怜 I do hope you don't think we're here to beg.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我在犯傻 妈咪在犯傻 Being silly. Mommy's being silly.
我们喝杯茶吧 Let's have a cup of tea.
希望我还不至于太脆弱 Hope it's not too weak.
恐怕我有些紧张 Afraid I'm rather nervous.
孩子们的父亲喜欢在茶里加两块方糖 The children's father likes two lumps of sugar in his tea.
我来开门 I'll get it.
不不不 请让我开门 No, no, please, please.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hello. - Hello.
什么事 Yes?
真美 可爱极了 How nice. Lovely.
- 孩子们 过来 - 乔在吗 - Boys, come here. - Is Joe here?
会很有意思的 This might be interesting.
- 你们好 - 这是我的儿子 - This is my son. - Yes.
你们好 Hello, hello.
- 看着他的眼睛 - 我是安迪 你们好 - Look him in the eyes. - I'm Andy. Hello.
- 你是乔的朋友吗 - 是的 - Friend of Joe's then? - Yeah.
- 你们认识很久了吗 - 没那么久 - You known each other long? - Uh... Not that long, no.
- 不久吗 - 不久 - Not very long? - No.
哦 Oh.
三角恋啊 A menage-a-trois.
还真有异国情调 It's all so exotic.
真是 心胸开阔 So broad-minded.
从这个角度看 我输了 On that point... I failed.
毋庸置疑 No doubt about it.
孩子们 现在你们要多留心 Boys, now is the time to be alert,
问出你们内心所想的问题 and ask all the questions your heart's desire.
因为 Because...
我希望你们永远不必再遇到这类人 I hope that you shall never have to encounter
或者再身处这种境况中 such people or be in such a situation ever again.
你们没有任何问题吗 You don't have any questions?
没有吗 No?
那我先问 好吗 Well, I'll start, shall I?
你们觉得她在一天之内 Approximately, how many lives...
大概能毁掉多少人的生活 do you think she has time to destroy in one day?
五个 五十个 Five? 50?
还是几百个 Or several hundreds?
我承认后者听起来不可思议 I admit the latter sounds improbable,
但有志者事竟成 but where there's a will there's a way.
这只是个天大的误会 Look, this is just a big misunderstanding.
孩子们 Boys?
我不 我不爱你们的父亲 I don't... I don't love your father.
她这么说只是让我们好受点 She's just saying that to make us feel better.
我相信你们懂的 I'm sure you understand that.
因为如果这是个玩笑 Because if it were a joke,I mean...
如果 这一切真是玩笑的话 未免太残忍了 If... this were really a joke,then it would be a joke so cruel.
人不能那么残忍 No one can be that cruel.
我听说即使匈奴人对他们的暴行 They say that even the Huns on their rampage
毫不遮掩 但也不会让家庭分崩离析 were rather unreserved, but to split up a family...
我敢保证 让超过二十年的 To destroy a mesh of feelings woven over 20 years
错综复杂的情感毁于旦夕间 不是玩笑 is no joke, I can assure you.
好吧 Well...
如果三人太拥挤的话 那对这位漂亮小姐来说 If three's a crowd,then seven must be
七个人肯定是个挑战 a bit of a challenge for the pretty miss.
我必须说 我很难想到她享受孤独的时刻 I must say I have a hard time picturing her enjoying loneliness.
我觉得我们该借机离开了 I think we better grab the chance to get away
在事情变得荒谬之前 before things become grotesque.
不 不 不行 No, no, no!
你不想让你父亲现在受到良心的谴责吧 对吗 You wouldn't want to give your father a guilty conscience now, would you?
那么这章对你的生活有什么影响 So how did this episode affect your life?
完全没影响 Not at all.
- 一点也没有吗 - 没有 - Not at all? - No.
不打破鸡蛋就煎不了蛋卷 You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
那倒是 Well, that's true.
有些人 会批判瘾君子 Some people... blame the addict.
其他人则对瘾君子感到同情 Other people feel sorry for the addict.
但我成瘾是因为淫欲 而非必须 But I was an addict out of lust,not out of need.
就知道你会这么说 You would say that, wouldn't you?
我每到一处 And lust that led to destruction around me,
毁灭就接踵而至 everywhere I went.
成瘾有时候会导致 Well, addiction sometimes leads to an...
同情心缺失 absence of empathy.
你不能一边和狮子战斗 You can't fight a lion
一边给你的孩子擦鼻涕 and blow the noses of your children at the same time.
对我来说 性欲成瘾就是麻木不仁 For me, nymphomania was callousness.
你很顽固 You're very stubborn.
但你自己呢 But what about yourself?
经历这些你有什么感觉 How did you feel during all this?
感觉很美好还是感觉很糟糕 Did you feel good,or did you feel bad?
当我想到我妓女般的人生就觉得好笑 It's funny because when I think about my life
我只能说感觉很美好 as a whole, I can only say that I felt good.
但当我尝试去回想一段特别的插曲时 But when I try and remember a specific episode,
我想说我感觉很糟糕 I'd say that just then I felt rather bad.
以哪种方式 In what way?
关于孤独 H夫人说得对 Mrs. H was right about the loneliness.
如果我否认孤独与我形影不离 那一定是在说谎 I'd be lying if I said it hadn't been my constant companion.
在睡过这么多男人后 你还是觉得孤独吗 So you were with all these men, and you still felt alone?
我不想和你说这个的 I didn't want to tell you about it.
但你把我诱入陷阱里了 But you've led me into a trap.
这是一种真实存在的感觉 It was a certain feeling.
所有事都这么微不足道 多可怕啊 Oh, how awful that everything has to be so trivial.
我七岁时 得做一场手术 When I was seven I had to have an operation.
不严重 但需要麻醉 Nothing serious, but it did require anesthesia.
我打过麻药后 感觉一切正常 I had already been pre-medicated,and was feeling all right.
但当我看到房间里医生护士们 But when I looked into the room where the doctors and nurses
在准备手术时 were preparing for the operation,
感觉就像我得独自通过 it was as if had to pass through
一扇无法通过的大门 an impenetrable gate all by myself.
那不只是想妈妈的感觉 It wasn't just that I missed my mom.
我并不想爸爸 I don't think I missed my dad,
虽然他对我更好 even though he was the nice one.
那种感觉好像整个宇宙只有我 形单影只 It was as if I was completely alone in the universe.
就好像我整个身体都充斥着孤独和泪水 As if my whole body was filled with loneliness and tears.
我还是不能同情你吗 And I'm still not allowed to feel sorry for you?
我们继续吗 Shall we go on?
你在看什么书 What are you reading?
实际上我不是在看书 我只是 I'm not reading it really, I'm just...
重新熟悉一下埃德加·爱伦·坡 reacquainting myself with Edgar Allan Poe.
我不了解他 I don't know him.
他是个 Well, he was a...
很焦虑不安的人 very anxiety-ridden man.
他的死法 是你所能想到最恐怖的 He died in the most fearful way you can imagine,
叫震颤性谵妄 in something called delirium tremens.
这种病是因为长时间酗酒 It occurs when the long-time abuse of alcohol is followed by...
然后 突然戒酒 by a sudden abstinence.
你的身体会过敏性休克 Your body goes into some kind of hyper-sensitive shock.
你会产生最恐怖的幻觉 You can see the most horrifying hallucinations
像是看到耗子 蛇和蟑螂从地板里爬出来 or rats and snakes, and cockroaches coming out of the floor,
虫子在墙缝里蠕动 and worms slithering the walls.
人体的整个神经系统都处于高度警戒状态 One's entire nervous system is on high alert,
你会陷入持续的恐惧和妄想症 and you have a constant panic and paranoia.
接下来人体的循环系统就会崩溃 And then the circulatory system fails.
但是恐惧 But the panic and horror...
却会一直持续到你死亡的一刻 remains until the moment of death.
我知道震颤性谵妄是什么 I know what delirium is.
"在那年秋季 "During the whole
枯燥 灰暗而暝寂的某个长日里 of a dull, dark and soundless day
沉重的云层 in the autumn of the year,when the clouds hung
低悬于天穹之上 oppressively low in the heavens,
我独自一人策马前行 I had been passing alone on horseback
穿过这片阴沉的异域般的乡间土地 through a singularly dreary tract of country;
最终 当夜幕缓缓降临的时候 and at length found myself
我发现自己 as the shades of the evening drew on,
站立于厄舍府清冷的景色前" within view of the melancholy House of Usher."
[第四章 震颤性谵妄]
爸 Hey, Dad.
宝贝 Hi, love.
你好吗 How are you?
我跟妈吵架了 I fought with Mom.
她 她不来了 She's... She's not coming.
你不应该跟她吵架 You ought not to fight with her.
你知道凯害怕医院 You know Kay's fear of hospitals.
我知道她不会来的 I know she's not coming.
我们已经把该说的话都说完了 We already said everything we needed to say.
我和凯在家道过别了 Kay and I said goodbye at home.
我根本不想让她来 I don't want her here at all.
- 我无法接受 - 你必须接受 - I can't accept that. - You'll have to.
她就是个懦弱愚蠢的婊子 She's a cowardly, stupid bitch.
不 不是的 No, she's not.
- 就是 - 不 她不是的 - Yeah. - No, she's not.
- 她就是 - 不 她不是的 - Yes. - No, she's not.
她就是 而你一直都不明白 Yes, she is.You've never understood that.
你不害怕吗 Doesn't it scare you?
不怕 No.
你怎么能不害怕呢 How can you not be afraid?
我见过太多人去世了 I've seen so many die.
再说不是还有那句伊壁鸠鲁说的 And there's that Epicurus quote
关于不畏惧死亡的名言嘛 about not fearing death.
"当我们在世时 死亡还未来 "When we are, death has not come.
当死亡来临时 我们也已不在了" When death has come... we are not."
我们知道会发生什么 You know it's going to happen.
我还知道医生都能给我开什么药 I also know all the drugs the doctors have to offer.
所以不 So, no.
我不 I am not...
我不怕 I am not afraid.
我的闺女真漂亮 Hmm. My beautiful girl.
爸爸也很帅 Beautiful dad.
你好 医生 Hello, Doctor.
你好 医生 这是我的女儿 乔 Hello, Doctor.This is my daughter Joe.
- 你好 乔 - 你好 - Hey, Joe. - Hi.
需要些什么吗 Do you need anything?
我已经说了 我决定 As I've said, I've decided to be
做一个模范病人 完全遵从 an exemplary patient,completely subjecting myself
- 医生的命令 - 你还疼吗 - to doctor's orders. - Are you in pain?
不疼了 I don't think so, no.
我们还是要给你输液 We're going to give you a splash all the same.
你头发长了 Your hair is longer.
不 不长 No, it's not.
他们给你输的药太多了 They're giving you too much medication.
不 No.
爸爸 Dad.
没事了 你只是在做梦 It's okay, Dad.You're just dreaming.
你在做噩梦 You're having a nightmare.
没事了 It's okay.
好了 没事了 It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
别担心 我去叫医生 别担心 Okay. Don't worry, I'm going to get the doctor. Don't worry.
你一定筋疲力竭了 You must be exhausted.
我没事 I'm fine.
我觉得你应该回家休息 I think you should go home,get some rest.
不 我应该在这 No. Someone needs to be here.
或许你应该喊家人帮你一起分担 Perhaps you could share with some other family members.
只有我一个人 There aren't any others.
凯 Kay!
爸爸 没事了 Daddy, it's okay.
凯 Kay?
凯 Kay.
凯 凯 Kay. Kay.
凯 Kay.
凯 凯 Kay! Kay.
- 凯 - 我去叫医生 - Kay! - I'm going to get the doctor.
凯 Kay!
我去叫医生 爸爸 I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy.
抱歉 我爸爸状态非常糟糕 Excuse me. My dad is really unwell.
坐下吧 我去看看 Sit. I'll go have a look.
也许你该给他多注射些吗啡 Maybe you could give him some more morphine.
有些事我得跟你解释 There's something I'd like to explain.
我确实可以给他多注射吗啡 I can certainly give him more morphine,
就好像没有多大关系 but most likely it won't make much difference.
幸运的是 多数死亡没有痛苦 Most deaths, fortunately,are uneventful,
只要你给病人用药让他们脱离恐惧和痛苦 as long as you medicate the patients to keep them free of fear and pain.
少数情况下 死亡的过程 In a few cases,the process of dying
会导致脑损伤 causes brain damage,
我们称之为谵妄 which triggers what we call delirium.
不幸的是 这不是我们能用吗啡解决的 That's not something we can soften with morphine, unfortunately.
爸爸 Daddy.
会没事的 It's gonna be okay.
我不知道我怎么了 I don't know what's happening to me.
你去散会步好不好 Don't you want to take a little walk?
我陪你爸待会儿 I'll stay with your father in the meantime.
你陪他 你在这陪他 You'll stay?You'll stay here?
是的 Yes.
白蜡树叶 Ash tree leaves.
你在哪找到的 Where did you find them?
就在公园里 They were in the park.
这真的是森林里最美的树 It truly is the most beautiful tree in the forest.
但是 爸 But Dad...
冬天里你怎么能认得出这种树呢 How do you recognize it in winter?
我跟你讲过上百次了 Told you 100 times.
但是我不记得了 I can't remember.
当白蜡木被创造出来的时候 When the ash tree was created...
森林里其他的树都很嫉妒 it made all the other trees in the forest jealous,
因为白蜡树 because it was...
是森林里最漂亮的树 It was the most beautiful tree in the forest.
它的树干最强壮 It had the strongest wood.
可以用来做任何东西 It could be used for anything.
它是北欧神话中的世界树 It was the World Tree in Norse mythology.
你找不出它有任何缺点 You couldn't say anything bad about it.
可是当其它树看到白蜡树 And then when all the other trees saw the ash tree
长出的黑芽 with its black buds...
它们都开始笑它 they all started laughing.
"瞧瞧 "Oh, look.
白蜡木把手指伸进灰里了" The ash tree's had its fingers in the ashes."
爸 爸爸 Dad. Daddy!
爸爸 爸爸 怎么了 Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong?
爸爸 怎么了 Daddy, what's wrong?
爸爸 是我 是我 爸爸 是我 Daddy, it's me!It's me, then. It's me!
来人啊 来人啊 Help! Help!
好了 Okay.
没事了 没事了 Okay. It's okay, it's okay.It's all right.
没事了 It's all right.
我们得把他绑起来 We have to fixate him.
你们要干吗 你们要对我干吗 What are you doing?What are you doing to me?
乔 你要对我干吗 Joe! What are you doing to me?
乔 Joe!
对不起 I'm sorry.
你去休息一下吧 You should take a break.
不好意思 Excuse me.
好的 先生 别担心 Okay, don't worry.
把这清理干净 Just clean that up.
准备好了吗 Ready?
他去世后 我就丧失了所有感觉 When he died,I had no feelings left.
这完全可以理解 Well,that's certainly understandable.
不 我不知道我到底是怎么了 No. I don't know what happened to me.
那感觉很羞耻 It was very shameful.
羞耻 我不明白 Shameful?I don't understand.
我湿了 I lubricated.
我知道你喜欢用消极的方式呈现自己 I know you like to present yourself in a negative way,
你说自己有着黑暗的偏好 and that you have this,kind of dark bias
你不如其他所有人 that you're worse than everyone else.
但是这个故事反映出来的却不是这样 But this story doesn't add to that belief.
在面对痛苦的时候人有性反应是极正常的 It's extremely common to react sexually in a crisis.
你可能觉得这很羞耻 It may be shameful to you, but...
但是在文学作品中比这更糟的例子举不胜举 in literature,there is many worse examples.
但我没有继承我父亲的游标卡尺 But I did inherit my father's caliper.
我发现它非常精美并在使用中磨损了 I found it so beautiful and worn by its use.
你还收到了什么 What else did you receive?
没有了 Nothing.
我没有力气和我的妈妈争吵 I didn't have the strength to argue with my mother,
所以我注销了对遗产的进一步继承 so I wrote off any further part of my inheritance.
真的？ 真有戏剧性 Really?Well, that's a dramatic gesture.
- 你听音乐 对吧 - 是的 - You listen to music, I see? - Yes.
我很喜欢音乐 要不要找个磁带给你听 I like it a lot.Shall I find a tape?
不用 要是里面已经有磁带了 那就放来听听吧 No, if there's a tape already in the machine? I'd like to hear that.
这是我最近常听的一盘磁带 It's something I've been listening to a lot lately,
只可惜磁带并不全 though it's not an entirely complete recording, unfortunately.
- 是什么 - 巴赫 - What is it? - It's Bach.
摘自他的管风琴曲 From his little organ book.
《我呼唤你 耶稣基督》 "Ich ruf zu dir, herr jesu Christ."
主旋律原本是首赞美诗 The theme is originally a hymn,
但是巴赫把它重新编排润色了一下 Bach rearranged it and embellished it a little.
如果你懂音乐的话 你会知道他是复调大师 He was the master at polyphony,if you know what that is.
我不懂 又是一样我不懂的东西 No, yet another thing I don't know.
复调来源于中世纪 Polyphony is from the Middle Ages.
完全是来自于欧洲的珍品 It's an entirely European phenomenon.
它的独特之处就在于 It's distinguished by the idea that,
每一个声部都各自独立 every voice is its own melody,
但又和谐地统一为整体 but together in harmony.
巴赫的先驱帕莱斯特里那 Bach's forerunner, Palestrina,he wrote many words
在同一时间为多个唱诗班 for several choirs at the same time,
写过很多复调的作品 wallowing in polyphony.
但在我看来 巴赫 But in my eyes, Bach perfected
使这种旋律与和谐趋于完美 the melodic expression and the harmony.
并且 并且还混合了一些很有可能是建立在 And also mixed up with some rather incomprehensible
斐波纳契数列基础上的 mystique regarding numbers,
相当高深莫测的神秘的数字 most likely based on the Fibonacci Sequence.
就是那个以零开头 You know the one that starts with the zero,
接下来是一的那个数列 and then comes the one.
这个数列从第二项开始 The sequence is created by adding the two previous numbers
每一项都等于前两项之和 所以零加一得一 to create the new one,so it's zero plus one makes one.
一加一得二 二加一得三 and one plus one makes two,and two plus one makes three
三加二得五 五加三得八 and three plus two makes five,and five plus three makes eight,
八加五得十三 and eight plus five makes 13.
这个数列和勾股定理 The sequence has an interesting connection
还有黄金分割有着巧妙的联系 to Pythagoras' theorem of the Golden Section.
它与在艺术和建筑中 It was all about finding out a divine methodology
找到神圣的方法有关 in art and architecture.
有点像是三全音 A bit like the way a tri-tone,
在你的小俱乐部里的钢琴上弹出的那个 which was played on the piano in your little club
本应是魔鬼音程 was supposed to be a satanic interval.
用来拼写巴赫的名字的四个字母如果用数字代替的话 它们的和是十四 The sum of the numeric values represented in Bach's name is 14,
这也正是巴赫作曲时常用的数字 a number he often used in his compositions.
巴赫名字的聪明之处就在于 The clever thing about Bach's name
每一个字母所代表的数值 is that the numeric value of the individual letters
都是斐波纳契数字 are all Fibonacci numbers.
这个作品有三个声部 This piece has three voices:
低声部 the bass voice...
用左手弹奏的第二声部 The second voice played with the left hand.
和用右手弹奏的第一声部 The first voice played with the right hand.
这被称作固定旋律 That is called Cantus Firmus, or Cantu firmus.
放到一起 这三个声部形成了复调 And together, these three voices create the polyphony.
如果把这个和我的故事对比 Well, if I should compare this with my story,
它暗示了一个极度成瘾的女性瘾者 it's reminiscent of a quality of nymphomania,
尽管通常被忽视 但非常重要 which is normally ignored,but nonetheless essential,
即各种交往之间的相互联系 and namely the relationship between the various intercourses.
非常有趣 That's interesting.
他们创造了 完整性 They create a... a completeness?
比如 握手 As, for example, the handshake,
所有人不同握手的 which for all people is the sum of
总和加在一起 all the different handshakes that together
只要是我们认可的握手就行 form our view of what a handshake is.
美好的 糟糕的握手 The good, the bad handshake,
有力的 无力的握手 the firm, the limp.
通常来讲 女性瘾者被认为是 Normally, a nymphomaniac is seen as...
一个欲求不满 someone who can't get enough,
并因此跟很多不同人发生性关系的人 and therefore, has sex with many different people.
这当然是真的 Well, that, of course, is true,
但是如果老实说的话 我把它看做是 but if I'm to be honest,I see it precisely as
所有这些不同的性经历的总和 the sum of all these different sexual experiences.
所以这样说来 我只有一个情人 So in that way,I have only one lover.
[第五章 小风琴学校]
既然音乐只有三个声部 Since the music has three voices,
那我也就只允许自己谈论三个情人 I will limit myself to talking about three lovers.
低声部很简单 就是F The bass is easy.That's F.
F有一辆红色的二手车 F had a red car that he'd bought used.
鉴于我当时 As I was having sex
每晚跟七八个人做爱 with seven or eight men every night at the time,
所以时间规划很重要 scheduling was tricky.
他们必须有非常准确的预约时间 And they all had to have precise appointments.
F是个好人 F was a good man.
如果他约在十点 If he was scheduled for ten o'clock,
他一定会在九点左右就到 然后停在楼下的街边 he always showed up around nine and parked down in the street.
我每次见到他都会微笑 I always smiled when I saw him.
通常我会同情他 并且在他等我跟上一个人结束时 Often I took pity on him,and gave him a cup of coffee,
给他杯咖啡喝 although I was finishing with the one before.
很难说我为什么会想要聊到F It's hard to say why I'm choosing to talk about F,
但他让人很安心 but he was reassuring,
而且我们做爱的时候 他非常清楚我要什么 and he knew exactly what I wanted when we had sex.
不 我甚至会说 No, I'd go even further,and say that there was
我们俩做爱的时候有一种心灵感应 a kind of telepathy going on when we had sex.
不用说话 他就知道我想要什么 Without words, he knew exactly what I wanted,
我希望他摸哪里 干什么 where he should touch me and what he should do.
对于F来说 让我高潮就是他最神圣的目标 The most sacred goal for F was my orgasm.
然后 Well, and then...
那些天鹅用同样的声音回答 the swans answered in the same voice.
与此同时 And granted him privileges
他换来了其他人都没有的特权 none of the others received.
F是低音部 F was the bass voice.
单调 可预测 固守仪式 Monotone, predictable and ritualistic.
毫无疑问 No doubt about it.
但与此同时他也是很重要的基础 But also the foundation that is so important,
虽然单独拿出来的时候没什么意义 even if on its own it doesn't mean much.
G就很不同 G was quite different.
他是唯一一个让我等 而我也愿意等的人 The only one I had to,and wanted to wait for.
当他终于出现 我打开门后 When he finally turned up and I opened the door,
他不会马上进来 he didn't immediately enter,
就像是当你给猫开门时 它也不会马上进来 the way a cat doesn't when you let it in.
就好像既然门已经开了 As if,once the door is open,
它就有大把时间可以慢慢来了 it has all the time in the world.
但他不仅仅是只猫 But he was more than a cat.
他更像是美洲虎或是金钱豹 He was like some kind of jaguar, or leopard.
连他的动作都像 He moved like them,
这让我无止境地兴奋 which turned me on no end.
当他躺在我床上时 When he laid down on my bed,
我很清楚应该直接靠近他 it was clear to me that I should approach him,
而不是在旁边迂回 and not the other way round.
而一旦我碰了他 又会有些犹豫 And when I did touch him,it was with some hesitation,
因为他的反应不可预知 as his reactions were unpredictable.
他占主导 一向如此 He was in charge.That's the way it was.
虽然我成功 Despite my success in managing
掌握了复杂的方法 the complicated logistics involved with arranging
让自己每天有十次性满足 up to ten daily sexual satisfactions,
同时还保有一份全职工作 while also having a full-time job,
但我还是觉得悲伤 I was still prone to a certain sadness.
所以当我在忙碌的生活中偶尔抽出空闲 So when my busy life allowed a few breaks,
我就会去散步 I used them to take my walks.
这些重复的散步变成了我生活的一种隐喻 These repeated walks became a kind of metaphor
一成不变而且毫无意义 for my life.Monotonous and pointless.
没错 就像是一只笼中困兽的生活一样 Yes, precisely like the movements of a caged animal.
基本上 我们都在混吃等死 Basically, we're all waiting for permission to die.
不 No.
不 不 不 No, no, no. No, there...
在你讲的关于杰罗姆的故事里 There are some completely unrealistic coincidences
有一些很不实际的巧合 in your story about Jerome.
首先 他碰巧雇你当了他的助手 First, by chance, he hires you as...As an assistant.
然后你去树林里散步 And then you take a walk in a forest,
碰巧还在那个树林里找到他照片的碎片 and it's littered with photographs of him.
不仅如此 他本人还在场 And not only that... he's present.
然后像上帝一样 他拉你入怀 穿过云朵 And then like a god,pulls you up to him through the clouds.
那又怎样 故事就这样继续了 So what?That's the way this story goes.
我是当事人 我知道发生了什么 And I'm the one telling it,and I know what happened.
你还想不想听 Do you want to hear it or not?
天啊 Goodness gracious.
这样见面太奇怪了 What a strange way to meet.
是的 Yes.
非常奇怪 It's a very strange way.
杰罗姆会出现在那里 是因为他刚跟他妻子吵了一架 Jerome was there because he'd just had a fight
在气头上 他把刚洗出来的那些 with his wife, who in anger tore up the photographs
他们在旅途中照的照片都撕了 they just had developed from their travels.
我还是觉得很难相信 I don't know if I can believe this.
你觉得怎么样 理解我的故事 Which way do you think you'd get the most
对你更有用呢 out of my story?
是相信好一点还是不相信好一点呢 By believing in it or not believing in it?
不 你说得对 Yeah, you're right.
这一切没准说明了一点 You might have a point with all this.
性的秘方是爱情 The secret ingredient to sex is love.
第三声部 秘方 The third voice,the secret ingredient.
固定旋律 Cantus Firmus.
填满我所有的洞 Fill all my holes.
怎么了 What's wrong?
嗯 Hmm?
我没有任何感觉 I can't feel anything.
一点感觉 都没有 I can't... anything.