1
00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:08,720
I'll never forget my first proper all-consuming
crush.


2
00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:14,240
I was about eight years old and she was a teacher from my school.


3
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My cheeks would sting if she’d look at me
or if I heard her gentle song like voice.


4
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,430
I went on to have lots of boy crushes in school
too.


5
00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:30,200
I was very much a daydreamer. I’d build entire
relationships in my head.


6
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:37,430
With famous actors and actresses and book
characters even, I fancied both Serious Black


7
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and Hermione from Harry Potter.


8
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:46,090
I even made my Barbie dolls kiss one another
and also kiss my brother's action man toys.


9
00:00:46,090 --> 00:00:51,580
During my teenage years where many of my female
friends would describe their heterosexuality


10
00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:54,840
by saying that women are just beautiful to
look at.


11
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,680
Sometimes I thought they were right and figured
that’s all it was.


12
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I was just admiring their bodies.


13
00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:05,970
I think I was jealous of certain girls, like
this one girl let’s call her Jenny.


14
00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:10,090
But deep down I think I knew I was simply
attracted to her.


15
00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:16,609
I wanted to kiss her in the the same way I
wanted be intimate with my then boyfriend.


16
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:22,820
One weekend then boyfriend and I had a huge
fight and went on a break.


17
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So I went to a party to distract myself and
ended up kissing another girl for the first time in


18
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my life.


19
00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:33,579
It felt so right and so natural.


20
00:01:33,579 --> 00:01:38,270
Bisexuality wasn't a word that commonly crept
up in conversation.


21
00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:43,280
Many just figured that those girls would make out
with each other solely for the sake of guys


22
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,929
at parties, in order to gauge their interest.


23
00:01:46,929 --> 00:01:52,689
This negative connotation followed me around
like a giant leering shadow monster after


24
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my first couple of kissing girls at parties
experiences.


25
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And it forced me to want to repress and repress
and repress.


26
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I also started browsing online forums about
liking both boys and girls at the same time.


27
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:13,080
Is it possible? Am I just a lesbian in denial?


28
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:17,780
I felt very lost and so confused about my
sexual identity.


29
00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:21,700
During University, I tried to keep my head
down and focus on my studies.


30
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:26,560
But there were beautiful confident girls everywhere
I turned.


31
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:32,520
One day at the college bar, I locked eyes with
a gorgeous red head several times.


32
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I could almost taste my own guilt, smell my
own shame.


33
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:38,700
I felt trapped.


34
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:43,120
One day, I came upon a book all about bisexuallity.


35
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:48,180
I read and I read and I realized I didn’t
have to prove anything to anybody.


36
00:02:48,180 --> 00:02:52,400
I didn’t need to be afraid to accept myself
for who I am.


37
00:02:53,280 --> 00:03:00,220
Coming out as bisexual to those close to me
has been one of the most freeing experiences of 

38
00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:07,480
It’s been a huge part of my journey to loving
and respecting myself entirely.


39
00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:11,600
I’m bi and I’m rather happy about that.