I didn't get to where I am without
knowing how the world works or I
understand that often when I'm used to
getting what I want so why don't you
just tell me what it will take I'm sorry
no Pratt about son just give us the
bottom line
I'm afraid my theme park is the biggest
in the north of England most of it built
with these ants in five years will be
the biggest in Europe yes yes but no
boots on just tell me what I have to
give you enjoy 90-year to win that
tender oh I'm afraid the tenders are all
sealed sealed my ass a date
there's 25k there I won't be beat by
some bloody yank dressed up as a mouse
well this is most irregular hmm well
we're doing business a lot like I said I
usually get what I want
[Music]
once the deadline has passed we can get
working on having it moved little
forwards Roger play with a big boys I'm
sure it well
[Music]
all I'm saying is you know if I was a
bird
well I'll check me it's gotta be a
lesbian issue or just cuz you know it's
your back
listen mate all right I don't get
knocked back okay unless survivor a
lesbian or be frigid or both exactly
yeah well maybe she got boy Frick son
yeah well you know maybe she's happy
with it well mate at least so what why
go for second best Mick straight off
okay if you was a bird would you shag me
but he's having a crisis of confidence
in your receptionist plaintiff very
simple yes or no no why rescue should be
a lesbian Stacy what's our working
capital like get healthy why bother it's
got a bite
Sir Anthony reads until this morning he
was CEO of one of the major utility
companies huge losses and under
investment in infrastructure led to a
rise in utility bills on 39 percent and
calls for his resignation his reward for
this inept piece of mismanagement was a
golden handshake of a half-million Sir
Anthony borders on the xenophobic
staunch defender of the pound hates
anything European he refers to anyone
who earns less than a hundred thousand a
year as a member of the great art of war
nice man apartment in the city in rather
nice country home which he shares with
his wife Janice and two dogs how did you
find another we're both members of the
same gentlemen's club we were on nodding
terms until I learned recently about his
new book they became friends the best
and he has two dirty little secret see I
turn this wife hankering for prostitutes
no please don't worry my dear it's a
secondary place I think we should use
which is I discovered it when I borrowed
it
he likes the G and is still his life
who's a naughty boy
[Music]
the wire the wire nobody's brought the
wire in a hundred years well so that was
in the state it's an old swamp scam is
pre 1900 racing results used to go from
east to west by Western Union Telegraph
now all you had to do was convince the
mug that you had someone on the inside
it could delay the results until he got
the bellum Danny are you listening yes
can you make it work yeah well everyone
watches races live these days yeah yeah
well the principle still holds good I
suppose just has to use video link
instead of Telegraph Alfred its B so are
we
[Music]
what can I get you I'm looking for
someone aren't we all
any blue you know Sony might never heard
of it
on the off chance you meet him in the
next few days could you give him this
for me
[Music]
the I'll kick except for artsy's you
gave us a tour in London Thanks yeah
thank you
now you got a chip on your shoulder that
knowing you should lose it well you'll
always feel on the outside yeah well
what's the open on the outside on my
life aren't a good crew that make you a
liability for another and deal with it
[Music]
will you be lunching with us mr. Winston
oh thank you Bob iconic a business the
library is free I can remember your
names and I need to place like this
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
this this is a guaranteed winner uncle
James all right yeah I mean you have
just gotta take my word on it
I'm sure you're right dear boy but I'm
afraid I don't gamble well Anthony I
thought you'd be in hiding it's the
problem with the great unwashed they
hate to see a fella make a few putts and
quiet I'm sorry I think this is Peter it
sounded a very old friend of our house
it is sir
how do you do and things having a bit of
trouble with the press oh he's joking
they are scumbags in there you've had
dealings with him not personally sir
Miami dad did a few years back he was an
activist in the answer euro campaign
press for all over really as best
forgotten betray Anthony won't you join
us
yeah say I'll say so I'm just awful no
need oh my god
not really I uh and he pops in here to
my uncle James a few quid has ever he
weren't interested horses for courses
dear boy horses for courses anyway I
could talk with a nice to meet you sir
father James please say hello to your
mother for me old black sheep of the
family through his teens but he trained
to be a rather nice young man he's in
investments Oh God horses horses and the
racing right you know the hot tip over
hers as they call it
did he mention the name name of the
horse yeah I just as well and a fool and
his money are soon parted some coffee
huh
it's a nice place like this Emily girl
are you I take it it went well
oh yeah you'd have been proud of me I
was a real team player you're around
Danny hello hi I was wondering if you
could tell me what won the last race
anywhere that's excellent
thank you it's got blank bison birth at
the hotel did not get blanked okay
did not get blanked she's a lesbian
right right
hey I'm not some bloke in here earlier
looking for you
thought you could leave his name yeah
there's number a some
[Music]
[Applause]
it seems it's true what you say but a
fool and his money how as a chap in here
he's he's apparently conned into
believing he was buying the London Eye
Wheatley apparently turned up to take
possession what was he thinking
I can't imagine thank you the problem is
some people don't deserve the money when
chaps like us earn a few Bob they call
us fat cats I mean I don't moan when one
of the plebs wins the lottery do it
I could hardly put it better myself
providing he doesn't move in next to me
of course
Margot's girl I'm sorry and horse you
asked me about Margo's girl 1 p.m. just
came back to me
where was it running do you know I have
no idea I wonder if you'd won it's easy
enough to find out Paul there was a
horse running today Markos girl could
you see her dude for those future you'll
be sick of it one the I never gamble
there's nothing wrong with an occasional
flutter I don't know one end of the
horse from the other it's the sport of
kings Ocho yeah lived till you've seen
your horse running up that hill at
children I have to take your word for it
Margo's girl one more sir price twelve
to one good lord
this nephew of yours what does he do
exactly
Rogerio truth I'm not sure just
something to do with horses but very
much like to meet him again oh well sure
that can be arranged
[Music]
oh you must be Danny wasn't sure you
come while I was curious listen mate I'm
gold a Seville are your words you want
the names right Fordham are you as good
as they say you are Danny what are you
then come do I look like a cop
well they come in all shapes and sizes
Donna well I'm a grifter just slow you
oh oh yeah well now come on never to you
then you have Scottish right
your Scottish right we're getting a
Scottish the name came for my first big
con I took the 50 grand downpayment on
Edinburgh Castle
yeah I'll bet about that 94 won it 95 I
took another 20 grand for putting in
double glazing but don't you just love
the Yanks oh yes they got romance in
their son why I'm glad to meet your ring
likewise so what can I do for you me I'm
putting a new crew together yeah well I
know some people I don't want people
Danny I want you okay well I think we've
hooked him in enough to give him a
convince er ash what about this place
you found well it has to be a build
okay but let's make it good how long
think couple of days you won't get
enough goodies yeah do it
week
[Music]
you should have been here half an hour
ago sorry right Albert will set up the
meet with Danny for the day after
tomorrow you have to be ready by then
Leo will be Stacy work out the costs
with ash and then double up with Danny
later on questions okay let's do it
[Music]
problem and the mine down here tells me
you can find anyone who you looking for
is in London I can find me how much is
that gonna cost me
Pinsir it is what you're gonna do when
you find so comment one black one white
[Music]
I'm gonna kill him how's it going
yeah well decorations easy enough
probably you start getting the aren't
wearing what's the setup five or six
fell on races are the best bit it means
it right is over in a minute to a minute
now
good good and you've got everything you
need yeah you'll know when I happen all
right
steady without any once I'm back
[Music]
James what a lovely surprise mrs. Peter
and his young friend
levar come in I'll fix you some drinks
Antony's in the mouth James welcome
player Peter nice to see you again sir
and who is this visually beautiful this
is if I'm Devon
I'm delighted to make your acquaintance
right now it sounds neat
do you mind if I steal as young
be my guest James tells me you're a
betting man playing darling let's save a
few drinks or loosen you up that's what
I like to see okay we get the TV three
denier showing us alive right obviously
we can't fix the races they're legit but
this little baby owls out the pictures
to the end of the race
now when we've got a winner we give it
to you and you've got about two minutes
to put a bet on before we start pleating
it to its front as far as anyone out
there can discern in watching the race
align what two minutes isn't very long
you start the pictures anymore and
they're not smell a rat they don't have
to do right my area is fully functioning
I've tapped into a streetlight outside
for electricity reroute mains water for
toilets and as long as he doesn't start
kicking the walls they should stay long
enough to get the job done ash it's a
work of art yeah I've got 20 grifters
coming in as blenders when the area it
will be the doggy's Washington okay then
we can start tomorrow yeah
well I'm asking is that you throw the
odd tip my way cost more than my Jobs
worth you did it for James yeah was
virtually family in the I mean I'd do
anything for me and with all due respect
sir I've even know you do I
James will vouch for me Willie now so
Eva rice in Manoa I think I want you to
call an enthusiastic amateur on some
what I'm about to tell you mustn't
mustn't go any further you have my word
I won't for a syndicate we buy
racehorses
I knew it you've got inside knowledge at
listen is slightly more than that last
year the company that I've worked they
teamed up with three other syndicates
then at Kempton last year we realized
that between them they owned all the
runners in a single race really from
there it's just a short stats are being
able to determine which horses are gonna
win certain races you mean fix them I'm
not saying fix it I'm just saying they
know who's gonna win before they start
and you can get the names of the winning
horses May no no no no now I'm Mustafar
down the food chain but the horse you
talk James about when that came for me
for your girlfriend
can I be honest with you absolutely
listen untrusting you complain yeah my
uncle James I'm going you all wrong I
can assure you he hasn't now the truth
is Ivana me oh really
together she's a high-class escort
absolutely lovely I'm gonna take her out
every now and again last week I gave her
a number to my boss she spends a bit of
time with him she overhears him talking
on the phone now the thing is he's got a
bit of a crush on her now he said he
wants to see her again I don't blame him
well gets to thinking well maybe I can
find out a few more winners I went to
uncle James cos basically I got the
funds to finance it so you're looking
for a backup well they won't be having
this conversation if I well no no I mean
the most I could raise last time was was
it grand but you've got 12,000 back yeah
but what if I had 10 grand looks like we
have a nibble mm-hmm
[Music]
crappy frosting
[Music]
yeah that's quite say Stacey Monroe and
help with stroller three socks Morgan
and the great Mickey bricks are you
doing it I just wondered if you make it
mind up yet we're in the middle of a
skull and all shook up Denny who's
calling the shots see all you're doing
is using your talent to make Mickey
bricks look good big up his reputation
I'm learning often and as long as you're
doing that he'll treat you like a kid
clock's ticking Benny it ain't that easy
I owe them well choice is yours you know
where I am
you're never gonna move up in class
not until you break free
[Music]
oh so you're sure a bed of this size of
God noticed as soon as a private
gambling Club The Syndicate used
sometimes I'm a member there strictly
for high rollers it's all cash no
questions asked
I've seen people place bets of up to a
quarter of a million there
I won't even bat an eyelid we stick to
one better day that one's gonna notice
I'm gonna put on all my winnings from
last time all 12,000 why not fun you
know you can't lose
[Music]
where to
[Music]
okay guys hold up okay everyone Showtime
[Music]
Stacy that aside
[Music]
so Mike huh you wouldn't even know this
place was here
nice straightly members-only gets me
away from the damn press right we've got
roulette and blackjack for 20 grand
beaten by MEC next time - mommy - Becca
giraffe this is a poker room uh-huh
Peter Mike Oh
long time no see good stream eh hey
don't know this is my guest and Senor
waves it'll be a pleasure to take your
money sir not today thanks microphone
him very lucky yeah yeah yeah you and
everyone else in here oh that's my Terry
the manager he seems very full of
himself
yeah not for long my final coal soon as
she gets a horse okay it's gonna be
close to the star so you get your bet
off as soon as it comes through
that's more money okay
[Music]
[Applause]
well
the last two the odds are July Stacy
crazy
if they went too much of a break us
before we start take 3 to 1 or less
black jacket coming home alone on the
nearside
flat jacket Christ two to one
okay let's go
hello don't flap jacket okay
[Music]
oh so much to the next to the wind
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you
[Music]
24,000 win flak jacket in the next race
24 to win thing over there we are sir
thank you very much
they're ready that's it and they're
raising of flak jacket two to one
just relax
come on son get your whip out boy that's
it go to the rail you little beauty
[Music]
as making fringes
[Music]
that's 48 plus your stake in just 72 in
orbs once in 30 40 50 60 70 and so Oh
Elsa she maximum belly
we have no maximum
[Music]
let's do it again on one racer that we
agreed one more we're making all we're
gonna do is draw attention to ourselves
now let's just go okay
flak jacket jacket I can't believe it
was that easy like you wouldn't believe
what I had to do to get that horse's
name mm-hmm
try me listen the thing is if we want to
make real money we need to put one big
bone what if I'm still on the inside
there's no rush ollie
well what if he calls the agency and
asks for another girl it'd be murder
no Yvonne's right we don't want to take
that risk and anyway when all this is
over you two lovebirds get to spend the
week together don't you just as promised
Tony so we do so what do you think you
must once more about just to make sure
Oh wonderful
wasn't Danny's fault the pot is empty we
can't pay out everything was geared to
taking him for the big one next time is
this close close does not cut it Danny
it can't be helped we'll have to shut
him out okay
you know sometimes the desire for
perfection can be misinterpreted as
criticism oh is that so
yeah why so grumpy
oh no is it Rachel yeah I am I had the
decree nice I so it's all over why don't
you say how would that have helped could
have reminded you that everyone here
loves you yeah maybe after this one we
should take a break for a while
I think we should do 50 whatever you
saying hello to three their first number
nine monster sealed Raj put it on muster
cells mastisol okay run it now before he
gets to the window muster cell in the
next fifty thousand two week they're
raising early races still did sir I said
it before they started I'm sorry sir
problem I was trying to place a bet the
races don't
[Music]
no no more bets for the next race
[Music]
[Applause]
10 to 1 they succumb the metal what I
didn't have tried
some
[Music]
no way I want to see what they're doing
okay so he's gone for the bait and we're
all set for tomorrow
Stacy Danny go reel him in any thoughts
you've covered everything
then go bring him in and no mistakes
this time
[Music]
I know I know but I'm teaching him
you're smothering him give him his head
maybe you'll see him what I did what I
saw in you yeah okay what about 6:30
all right thanks Hanson this country's
got stalking noise you know just forward
let you know I'm heading back somewhere
check out a hotel at 3:00
that's fine but I made a decision yet
how you'll beat it
what the Syndicates been investigated
why I don't know all right
it is someone got wind of it it's all
off it can't be I'm telling you it is
they're gonna do once Amaro they're
pulling the plug
wait a minute you say they're doing one
more yeah well it's already set why
can't we do it too
are you having a laugh the authorities
have been watching that rights like hogs
they'll be watching the syndicate not us
I don't know what do you think risky
he who has all that surely it's worth
the risk
if we're gonna do this it has got to be
a big bet because I'm telling you this
is the last chance absolutely the most
local race is probably gonna be about
30k you've got to be joking
I'm not risking getting caught for that
so how much would it take half a million
what half a million even if we only get
2 to 1 again we clear a million it's too
rich for my blood I'm afraid we could
have a wonderful week with a million
pounds in the bank I'm sorry No
oh well she ran up to us it's not a
question of not being up to it I just
can't afford to lose that kind of money
well how could you lose I mean you've
seen how it works even so half a million
[Music]
this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
it's now it's never remember that faint
heart never won a fair maiden okay I'm
in bank manager thought I was insane I
had to threaten to close my account
yeah well he'll calm down when you pay
double back in are you sure they'll take
a bed of this size you heard the man no
limit gentlemen
feeling lucky again laughing we'll be
okay I think so oh I do hope that's full
of money soon what the smile of his face
yeah we'll just ignore him
right if want to find a horse for him
this show may say okay so Jim okay
on that one now and anything favorite
one the last place it woman buffa in the
next place
[Music]
rufa
[Music]
blufor its 1/8 to 1/4 million listen
there and this those get the better get
the better last one to go
[Music]
faris roofer in the next phrase half a
million pounds to win
[Music]
is there a problem what - what's wrong
for now this gentleman wants to place a
Louis person how much
[Music]
half a minute
price roofer 81 I understood there was
no limit mmm take the gentleman's bet
yeah but that's unaccounted you take the
case and if the horse wins then we'll
count it and we'll pay out on whatever's
there
[Music]
that's it oh yes so you get it on all
right refer half a million to win to win
I told you place place what I said place
you see the cat went for a place to
throw everyone at the Senate that's what
I told you I said place it on Reuther
vocals finishes third
[Music]
that's been a mistake I want my money
back sir
I meant to say place not win the racist
eyes I didn't care about the race I want
my money back house rules dictate that
I'm not you don't understand there's
been a mistake there's no mistake so
your horse just lost
[Applause]
they aren't you sir any rooms boys boys
get some shot beats just what you're
doing your golden handshake sir gambling
with the taxpayers money you think it's
fair so that the taxpayer should cover
your gambling habit
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
all right let's get out of here wait you
sit Edie's box tomorrow night let's go
[Music]
Danny well done
[Music]
Bumi
now this is all over there's something I
need to tell you the thing is
[Music]
look at ya rats in a sewer
I sign better what was it laser later
very good hey what can we do for you
rather what can you do for me
well you could try dropping to your
knees kissing my feet and begging me not
to paint the walls with you but I'll
settle for what you've just taken off
the last mug I'm sorry I don't know what
you're talking about
[Music]
give him the money Danny
hold on a minute shut up no you know I'm
sick of him telling me when I can speak
and when I can't I'll handle this
well like you deal with everything well
I'm sorry Mickey but unless I've missed
something here you've just led us up
[ __ ] creek and you forgot to pack the
paddles oh and that's what this is all
about isn't it Danny because you think
you could do better everything you've
done since you got out on Nick it's been
down to me down to you yeah except for
the power impressions well you do them
yourself
hey you were a short con artist Danny
working the clubs and bars for drinks
till I took you in yeah you gave me a
shot yeah and I'm grateful for that but
I've been carrying you ever Singer
the only thing you've been carrying mate
is an overinflated ego you shouldn't be
so hard on yourself son I'm you do have
some qualities oh yeah I see em it uh
yes it's all your problems
things ain't goin quiet your way take a
swing last y'all you screwed up
now give them Annie's money back and
move on that's what I was gonna do when
you started all this
no you were gonna give him the case of
funny money it's what he asked for what
how long do you think it's gonna take
you to realize this
Cassie's crap come back here and kill us
well done Ryan see he didn't know it was
fake until you just told him genius what
you don't think he's gonna find out this
stuff mate this stuff wouldn't pass and
I caught us yeah so what would you do
give me my money what it is a straight
choice between that and death yes that
would clean us out Nicky he's holding a
shotgun we'd have nothing fine fine
if you want to get killed for what what
60 70 grand go ahead
do it.make but once in your life
do the right thing
[Music]
what happened to you listen the choice
well like you said 60 to 70 tops pay
them I suggest you do what the young man
says I'll make sure there's none of that
funny money in there
I'm sorry maybe 50 grand profit in four
days
not bad like I told you boys I usually
get what I want
did your favor
[Applause]
[Music]
Oh
[Music]
you have a good day dear
[Music]
dong-man my ass they thought they were
dealing with a bloody idiot some country
boy from up north still wet behind the
ears make that mistake again more than a
bunch of southern jetties to get the
better of me i re
[Music]
bureaus
[Music]
right just wait a second why I listen
her I'm going now so I'm a person
anymore
okay that's it so I guess what I just
really wanted to know is why you
wouldn't go out with me
because you're a lesbian yes yes there's
nothing wrong with that yes buddy no no
yeah absolutely yeah then you wanted to
talk to me when before Arthur came in
you said there was something you needed
to tell me all that yeah ice nothing
sure positive only I thought you were
gonna tell me you were joining Scottish
raising your crew are you two still
squabbling time to go oh um we'll be
gone for a while
looking out a web address but we know
what you think gap in the market you
might try your luck easy when you know
how but if you do you gotta remember the
first rule of the con you can't cheat an
honest man can't happen impossible find
someone who wants something for nothing
which shouldn't be hard and then give
nothing for something
[Music]
you know I really think I'm not getting
any younger
maybe I should retire bow out gracefully
you're serious
absolutely well because shiny though oh
you'll find someone else there's no one
quite like you Albert Albert it's your
choice whatever you decide thank you
[Music]
my old man leaves me three million
dollars and I'm gonna invest in molasses
I told I said I don't know nothing about
you
do you want me to hold your drink for
you
[Music]