(man) I love your funny face
Your sunny, funny face
For you're a cutie
With more than beauty
You've got a lot of
Personality-N-T
You fill the air with smiles
For miles and miles and miles
Though you're no Mona Lisa
For worlds I'd not replace
Your sunny, funny face
(women) You've made my life so glamorous
You can't blame me for feeling amorous
Oh, 's wonderful
'S marvellous
(military drum beat)
Good morning, Miss Prescott.
(Miss Prescott) Now hear this.
I simply cannot release this issue the way it is.
In the 60 years of Quality magazine, this hits rock bottom.
If I let this go through, I will have failed the American woman.
(all) No, Miss Prescott, don't say that.
The great American woman, who stands out there naked,
waiting for me to tell her what to wear.
It doesn't speak.
And if it won't speak to me, it won't speak to anyone.
A magazine must be like a human being.
If it comes into the home it must contribute.
It just can't lie around.
A magazine must have...
..blood and brains and pizzazz.
This is just paper.
If I send paper to the American woman, I will have let her down.
(all) No, Miss Prescott, you mustn't say that.
Yes. D for down.
D for dreary.
D for dull and for depressing,
dismal and deadly!
Ahh! Here it is.
Here is our theme. Here is our answer. Pink.
(excited chatter)
Girls, girls, girls, girls. Take this to all the designers.
I want dresses made up in this pink.
Babs, take this to Kaiser Delmont.
I want shoes and stockings in this colour.
Laura, everything goes pink!
I want the whole issue pink. I want the whole country pink!
Lettie, take an editorial. ''To the women of America...''
No, make it ''To the women everywhere.''
Banish the black,
burn the blue,
and bury the beige.
From now on, girls...
Think pink! Think pink when you shop for summer clothes
Think pink! Think pink if you want that quelque chose
Red is dead, blue is through
Green's obscene, brown's taboo
And there is not the slightest excuse for plum, or puce
Or chartreuse
Think pink! Forget that Dior says black and rust
Think pink! Who cares if the new look has no bust?
I wouldn't presume to tell a woman
What a woman ought to think
But tell her if she's gotta think, think pink
(women) For bags, pink for shoes
Razzle, dazzle and spread the news
And pink's for the lady with joie de vivre
Pink's for all the family
Try pink shampoo
Pink toothpaste too
Play in pink, all day in pink
Play day in pink
Drive in pink
Come alive in pink
Hang five in pink
Go out dancing but just remember one thing
You can get a little wink
If you got a little pink
In your swing
Think pink! Think pink, it's the latest word, you know
Think pink! Think pink, and you're Michelangelo
Feels so gay, feels so bright
Makes your day, makes your night
Pink is now the colour to which you gotta switch
To which you gotta switch
Every stitch
Every stitch you switch
Think pink! Think pink on the long, long road ahead
On the road
Think pink! Think pink, and the world is rosy red
Everything's rosy
Everything on the great horizon
Everything that you can think
And that includes the kitchen sink
Think pink
Think pink, think pink
Think pink, think pink, think pink!
Maggie?
Dovitch. I want to see you.
Girls, back to work. Gentlemen, that will do.
The railroad is going to paint a whole train pink
and send it on a tour.
TWA will let me know if we can have a pink plane.
I haven't seen a woman in two weeks in anything but pink.
- What about you? - Me? I wouldn't be caught dead.
Dovitch, I can't wait to tell you about my feature for the next issue.
It's my newest project. When you hear it, you will drop.
- Now what? - Just you listen.
Dick Avery started working on the pictures.
He's more excited about it than any of us.
Here it is. Clothes for the woman who isn't interested in clothes.
(man) Marion, give me a long look.
Longer.
Steve, tip that back light down a bit, will you? OK.
Hold it, boys. Beethoven isn't working. Try Brahms.
Look, Marion, I'd like to try it again.
This time, let's see if we can't get with it.
Keep in mind that you're a woman who thinks.
That is a piece of sculpture by Itsabuchi.
Look at it as if you understand it. As if it understands you. See?
No, that's not the way we look when we're thinking of Itsabuchi.
React to it. Just... say it.
Itsabuchi, hmm?
You haven't quite got it. Now, listen carefully.
You are in the Museum of Modern Art, Marion.
Deep, Marion. Profound, Marion.
You have come across this statue. It says something to you
because you are intellectual, always thinking.
What are you thinking?
I'm thinking this is taking a long time,
and I'll never be able to pick up Harold's laundry.
When Harold doesn't get his laundry, disaster!
If we don't get this fixed, you may never see Harold again. Let's go.
The woman who thinks must come to grips with fashionable attire.
A woman can be beautiful, as well as intellectual. See facing page.
And how is the facing page?
The facing page looks as intellectual as a snake.
Nonsense. Marion can be very deep.
Look at her. She's reading.
Marion, dear, what are you reading?
Minute Men From Mars.
Are we all gonna hang around, or get somebody else?
- How about Lucy Brand? - On her honeymoon.
- Betty Hayes? - She's in jail.
Are there no models who think as well as they look?
Marion might look better in a different background.
We can go on location. An intellectual hang-out.
- Somewhere with books. - A book store.
A sinister place in Greenwich Village. Come on, girls.
Let's hurry. We might have to pick up Harold's laundry on the way.
There's one.
(Dick) Driver, stop here.
That's sinister enough.
Melissa, help me with this lamp. It's heavy.
I can't, Babs, I got my hands full.
It's movingly dismal. We couldn't have done better if we'd designed it.
Marion looks smarter already.
(woman screams)
I'm sorry. I didn't see you up there. Are you alright?
Yes, thank you. Can I help you? Would you like a book?
- (Miss Prescott) Marion, over here. - Who are those?
May I help you?
Thank you. We have everything we need.
Please tell me what this is about.
We're just going to take a few pictures.
What sort of pictures?
- Are you the owner? - No, Dr Post is.
I work here, and I'm in charge in her absence.
I'm Jo Stockton. Can you help me?
How do you do? I'm Dick Avery.
What about these pictures?
We want the shop as a background
for fashion pictures for Quality magazine.
I'm sorry. I can't let you. Dr Post would never approve.
She doesn't approve of fashion magazines.
It's chi-chi and an unrealistic approach to self-impressions.
- We have trouble. She's a thinker. - She's also a talker.
I must ask you to leave.
We throw ourselves at your mercy.
Haven't poor people like us a right to make a living?
I asked you to leave. That is my right.
If the rights of the individual
are not respected by the group, the group cannot exist.
What does that mean?
''Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.''
We'll only do unto you for a moment,
and it's no more than we would do unto ourselves.
Girls, I want these books rearranged.
They look too much alike. They're too pat. Mix them up.
No, you mustn't mix them up.
The books on this shelf pertain to empiricism,
and on this shelf, materialism, and on this, psychopiscoparalysm.
Put them back. Please talk to her. It'll take me hours.
One never talks to Maggie Prescott. One only listens.
Here. I think we ought to use her in the shot. Miss, come here, please.
- Me? - You're selling a book to that girl.
Her?
Just pretend that Marion can read.
Say, listen!
Alright, Marion, let's go.
But this would be a violation of all my principles.
It would be hypocrisy for me to lend myself to this.
- I'm sorry, but... - Shush.
Now, tell Marion about the books so that we can get out of here.
This deals with epiphenomenalism, which has to do with consciousness
as a mere accessory of physiological processes
whose presence or absence makes no difference...
Whatever are you doing?
Hold it!
- Good. Get her in another outfit. - Put on the shebop.
None of you seems to realise you're trespassing on private property.
You run around, ignorant of the fact that I can have you put in jail.
- For the last time... - You're getting tiresome.
What are you doing?
Let go. Let go of my arm.
I know you don't mean any harm, but you are in everyone's way.
Now, we won't be a moment.
Let me in.
The air will do her good. She was very pale.
Alright, hit it.
Hold it. Ready?
Good. One more, please.
Alright. Hit it.
Hold it. Ready?
Very good, Marion. One more, please. Last one.
Alright, here we go.
Hit it.
Hold it. Ready.
OK, that's it. That ought to do.
(bell rings)
- Quite through? - Thank you. You've been wonderful.
We'll mention the shop in the magazine.
Don't you dare!
(Miss Prescott) Taxi!
(bell jingles)
Oh, no!
Oh!
Hello there.
I stayed to help you put these back.
I didn't realise we made such a mess.
Which shelf for materialism?
Just hand them to me.
Oh, no.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
We don't usually barge in that way.
I mean a man of your ability wasting his time
photographing silly dresses on silly women.
Most people think they're beautiful dresses on beautiful women.
At most, a synthetic beauty.
Trees are beautiful.
Why don't you photograph trees?
I do what I do for a living. It has to do with supply and demand.
You'd be amazed how small the demand is for pictures of trees.
My work is pleasant, the pay is excellent,
and I get a trip to Paris every year.
I certainly envy you that.
I'd be in Paris now if I could afford it.
You'd have a ball.
You'd go to a party every night, drink champagne,
swim in perfume, and a new love affair every hour on the hour.
If I went to Paris, it would be to go to Emile Flostre's lectures.
Who goes to Paris for lectures?
Professor Flostre is the greatest living philosopher,
and father of empathicalism.
Oh? What's empathicalism?
The most sensible approach to true understanding and peace of mind.
Sounds great, but what is it?
It's based on empathy.
Do you know what the word ''empathy'' means?
No, I'll have to have the beginner's course on that one.
Empathy. Is it something like sympathy?
Oh, it goes beyond sympathy.
Sympathy is to understand what someone feels.
Empathy is to project your imagination
so that you actually feel what the other person is feeling.
You put yourself in the other person's place.
Do I make myself clear?
- Why did you do that? - Empathy.
I put myself in your place and I felt that you wanted to be kissed.
You put yourself in the wrong place.
I have no desire to be kissed by you, or anyone else.
Don't be silly. Everybody wants to be kissed, even philosophers.
I'm sorry, Mr Avery, we don't stock what you're looking for.
I'll let you out.
Don't bother. I'll throw myself out.
Goodbye.
(bell jingles / door shuts)
I was taught that I ought not expose my inner senses
Had no plan for a man
I was full of self-defences
Now I feel that I really should face the consequences
My philosophic search
Has left me in the lurch
I must find why my mind is behaving like a dancer
What's the clue to pursue?
For I have to have the answer
I could cry salty tears
Where have I been all these years?
Is it fun?
Or should I run?
How long has this been going on?
There were chills up my spine
And some thrills I can't define
Does it show?
And who would know?
How long has this been going on?
Oh, I feel that I could melt
Into heaven I'm hurled
I know how Columbus felt
Finding another world
Can I trust how I feel?
Is this my Achilles heel?
Look at me, I'm all at sea
How long has this been going on?
This is grand
This is great
I'm in such a lovely state
Can one kiss
Do all of this?
(Miss Prescott) What do you think?
(Dovitch) Good models. What have you in mind?
(Miss Prescott) A fantastic idea.
It staggers me nobody's thought of it before.
I'm going to select a girl to be the Quality Woman.
This girl will represent everything the magazine stands for.
It's a great gimmick. Any of these models would be alright.
She's got to be more than alright. She's got to have pizzazz.
A collection will be designed for her by the greatest couturier in Paris.
- Paul Duval? - Yes, Paul Duval.
And he's going to let us photograph the collection before the opening.
We'll scoop every other magazine.
- Staggers you, doesn't it? - I can't believe it.
He would be barred from all the other fashion magazines.
Nonsense. If the project comes off, we'll all be heroes.
Wait till you see what I've got. The girl. The Quality Woman.
Oh, Marion's...
Forget her. This is the other girl I'm talking about.
That thing from the book shop?
Maggie, she's new.
She's fresh.
You've gone out of your mind.
One can't deny that she is unusual. Who is she?
Don't even ask. The thought of her makes me shudder. Dreadful girl.
If this is some sort of joke...
It's no joke. If we do her over and fix her up, she'd be great.
She'd devour us all.
- Come on, Maggie. - Well, look at her.
I think her face is perfectly funny.
The Quality Woman must have grace, elegance and pizzazz.
This is the first time I've seen you lack imagination.
Every girl in Quality has grace, elegance and pizzazz.
What about a girl with character, spirit and intelligence?
That would be novel in a fashion magazine.
Sir, I owe you a drink.
Can you make me some enlargements?
- Yes. - Use our darkroom.
- Let me study the possibilities. - Now you are talking.
- I'm not promising anything. - You don't have to.
Runs around here like he owns the magazine.
Lettie, remember that creature in the book shop?
Get her up here. Order books.
- A large order, so she can't refuse. - $50 worth?
Yes, $50 worth if necessary.
$50 to get her up here. We'll have to drug her to get her to Paris.
Er, Miss Prescott, please.
- Lettie, you'd better come out here. - I've got the books she ordered.
Miss Prescott's secretary will deal with you.
Oh, it's you. Well, come on in.
Come on.
The books are here.
Come in.
That'll be $52 and 75 cents, and $1 .20 for the taxi.
$53.95.
Drop the books.
Come on, drop the books.
- On the floor? - Yes, drop them.
Straighten up, shoulders back.
If you girls only knew how important posture is.
I didn't come here to enrol in a military school.
All I want is $53.95.
The Modigliani is $12.50,
and the Braque and Hieronymus Bosch come to $22.75.
$7 for the postimpressionists
and $10.50 for The Egyptians - Fourth to Seventh Dynasties
make it a total of $52.75, and there's $1 .20 for the taxi.
- Talks incessantly. - The body's good.
It'll be better when we get through with it.
- Through with what? - She might do.
Might do what?
The bones are good.
Suppose we leave my bones alone and give me my $53.95?
The eyebrows up, a light powder.
I want a little rouge here. She needs a marvellous mouth.
The hair is awful. It must come off.
Would you mind telling me what all this is about?
We may as well get started. Babs, get that dreadful thing off of her.
Now, wait a minute. Just a minute.
Don't! Stop!
This is my second and last encounter with you lunatics.
You just keep your hands off me, all of you.
I make a delivery and find myself being pillaged and plundered.
Well, I'll have no more of it. I don't want my hair cut.
I don't want my eyebrows up or down. I want them where they are.
And I see no functional advantage in a marvellous mouth.
I'm leaving now, and if anyone makes a move to stop me
there'll be plenty of hair cut, and it won't be mine.
Bring her back, girls, alive!
(women) Hurry up.
Hurry. Over here.
Hey, didn't you see that light outside?
In desperation, one does not examine one's avenue of escape.
Oh, it's you.
I'm sorry if I spoiled a print.
That's alright. What's all the desperation about?
Those people.
They don't care about anyone's feelings.
Pulling my clothes and cutting my hair.
- (knock at door) - (woman) Is that girl in there?
(whispers) Don't give me away.
Maybe you should give them a chance...
There was no one here when I came in.
If you see her, hang on to her.
I'll do that.
I'm afraid it's all my fauIt. I thought you'd make a good model.
This is your idea?
Yeah, I'm the one you sue.
Oh, how could I be a model?
I have no illusions about my looks. I think my face is funny.
That's what Maggie said.
I hate to admit it, but she's right.
What you call funny, I call interesting.
It's too ridiculous even to think about.
- I couldn't do it. - Let me be the judge of that.
I wouldn't take you to Paris if I didn't think you'd work out.
- Paris? - Yeah. Look at it this way.
Modelling may not be as bad as you think.
If it is, you'll be in Paris. You can see your Professor Whosis.
- Flostre? - Yeah.
You can talk to him and go to his lectures.
That way it won't be a total loss.
A means to an end.
Or a means to a beginning, according to how it works out.
Now, let's see.
There we are.
- Oh, no. - What's the matter?
How can you possibly make a model out of that?
You can't be serious.
When I'm done, you'll look like...
What do you call beautifuI? A tree. You'll look like a tree.
Frankly, dear, your modesty reveals to me
Self-appraisal often makes us sad
And if I add, your funny face appeals to me
Please don't think I've suddenly gone mad
You have all the qualities of Peter Pan
I'd go far before I'd find a sweeter pan
I love your funny face
Your sunny, funny face
For you're a cutie
With more than beauty
You've got a lot of personality for me
You fill the air with smiles
For miles and miles and miles
Though you're no Mona Lisa
For worIds I'd not replace
Your sunny, funny face
I love your funny face
Your sunny, funny face
You're not exotic
But so hypnotic
You're much too much
If you can cook the way you look
I'd swim the ocean wide
Just to have you by my side
Though you're no Queen of Sheba
For worIds I'd not replace
Your sunny
funny
face
(excited chatter)
Ladies, feast your eyes on our Quality Woman.
Marvellous!
I'm sorry about the trouble. I didn't realise.
My dear, let me do the apologising. I behaved abominably.
She's agreed to go to Paris. She can hardly wait.
Marvellous!
This is not a loss of integrity. It is a means to an end, and...
There's no time for talking. Tell us on the plane.
AIright, girls, we've got to get cracking. To work and to Paris.
- Would you like a tour of Paris? - No, we're not tourists.
Do we look like people who gape all day?
They can't understand anyone coming here to work.
We should all go straight to our hotels and get some rest.
- I am exhausted. - I know how you feel.
I'm so tired it's an effort for me to say I'm tired.
(Miss Prescott) Goodbye. I'll be in touch.
I want to step out
Down the Champs Elysees
From the Arch of Triumph
To the Petit Palais
That's for me
Bonjour, Paris
I want to wander
Through the Saint-Honore
Do some window-shopping
In the Rue de la Paix
That's for me
Bonjour, Paris
I want to see the den of thinking men
Like Jean-PauI Sartre
I must philosophise with all the guys
Around Montmartre and Montparnasse
(all) I'm strictly tourist
But I couldn't care less
When they parlez-vous me
Then I gotta confess
That's for me
Bonjour, Paris
Light up the Louvre museum
Jazz up the Latin quarter
To show the richest and the poorest
Here it comes
The great American tourist
This has got to be illegal
What I feel
Tres gai, tres chic, tres magnifique
C'est moi, c'est vous, c'est grand, c'est tutu
It's too good to be true
All the things we can do
You do things to my point of view
We can show you the north
Or we can show you the south
Then we can show you the west
Come on and show me the best
That's for me
Bonjour, Paris
- (crowd) Bonjour! - Bonjour!
That's for me
Bonjour, Paris
(crowd) Bonjour!
Living is easy
The living is high
All good Americans
Should come here to die
Bonjour!
Is it real?
Am I here?
Is it real?
There's something missing
(both) There's something missing, I know
(all) There's something missing
Something missing, I know
There's still one place I've got to go
(gasps)
- Oh! - Oh, no!
I thought that you were tired
I heard you say that you
You said that you were so exhausted
You said you needed sleep
You toId me that you had to rest
You said you ought to rest
Is this what you call rest?
This fussing and fretting is getting my goat
Let's all let our hair down
We're in the same boat
(all) We're strictly tourists
You can titter and jeer
All we want to say is
Lafayette, we are here
On a spree
Bonjour, Paris
- Bonjour. - Bonjour.
Bonjour!
Well, how was that?
- Allo? - (chatter)
Duval! I can't hear myself think, and I'm trying to think in French.
- Maggie! - Ssh! I'm calling again.
I shouldn't design a collection for you.
I am jeopardising my position with Harper's Bazaar and Vogue,
all for a girl who does not appear.
You're too important forjeopardy. Relax. She will be here without faiI.
You said she would be here at ten this morning. It is now past five.
- She's not at the hotel. - Forget about her.
We've started the campaign. There isn't time to get someone else.
Well, where is she?
Maybe at the top of the Eiffel Tower, or the bottom of the Seine.
Maybe she's in a traffic jam. How should I know?
Oh, c'est naturel.
(both) Bonjour, Paris
Bonjour, bonjour.
I'm throwing a shindig to christen the Quality Woman.
Leave it to Dick to find a delicatessen in Paris.
Imported all the way from Napa Valley, California.
Melons from Florida.
About the guest of honour. Where is she? How does she look?
If she's here, she looks invisible.
- She didn't show? - She did not.
These gentlemen are waiting to do her face, hair.
Duval needs measurements. Where is she?
I wouldn't like to swear in court, but I have an idea.
(Miss Prescott) Do keep it to yourself!
I'll have her here tomorrow morning at ten without faiI.
In the meantime, be my guests.
Strike.
(beeping)
Salaud! Degueulasse!
Je vous deteste!
Oh, cheri.
This must be the place.
(band tunes up)
Thank you.
Monsieur, Gigi would like to dance.
- Who's Gigi? - I am Gigi.
Some other time. I just stopped by to pick up the wife and kids.
All that is delicious is not nutritious.
Avaricious, av...
I feel a hostile vibration.
That'll be me. Sorry.
Has he been that way long?
Three hours. It is the uItimate in concentration.
Feels so good when you stop.
I have no doubt that in less than ten years,
people everywhere will know that only empathicalism can bring peace.
Peace through understanding is the only real...
Well, hello. How are you?
Just fine, thank you. How are you?
How long have you been in Paris?
This is Mr Avery. These are my friends.
How do you do, boys?
Would you mind if I had my own conversation with this lady?
- They don't understand English. - You were talking English.
It's hard to explain, but it's all part of empathicalism.
We don't have to communicate with words.
They understand me through the way I feel, and the tone of my voice.
- Sort of like a dog. - Obviously, you don't understand.
Who's buying the wine?
- I am. - I understand more than you think.
- If you're saying that the wine... - Let me show you something.
Gentlemen, may I tell you that you look like a mess of worms?
And that you not only look like, but you are, a mess of worms.
I'll bet you've been here all these years
because if you left, you'd be picked up for vagrancy.
- Bravo. - Your defence rests.
This isn't funny. You don't belong here.
Neither do you, which brings us to why I'm here.
Monsieur, you dance with Mimi?
No, thanks, I'm busy. Didn't Gigi tell you?
That's very rude, refusing to dance with Mimi.
Where I come from, the man asks the girl to dance.
You must come from the Stone Age.
We think freely here. If a girl wants to dance with a man, she asks him.
We're not inhibited by outmoded social conventions.
I can see that. Do you ask men to dance with you?
Isn't it time you realised
that dancing is nothing more than a form of expression or release?
There's no need to be formal or cute about it.
As a matter of fact, I rather feel like expressing myself now.
And I could certainly use a release.
(discordant dramatic music)
(slow, moody jazz)
(fastjazz)
- Bonsoir. Vous etiez formidable. - Merci.
You certainly made friends and influenced people.
They're empathicalists.
You talk a lot about empathy. Ever do anything about it yourself?
I don't know what you mean.
- Why not throw some empathy my way? - I still don't know what you mean.
How do you think I feel when you don't show up?
I'm responsible for you.
An empathicalist should feel me asking for unemployment insurance.
Show up where?
They've been waiting for you at Duval's all day.
I had no idea. Nobody toId me.
We've been calling you on the telephone for hours.
I've been at the cafe all day. I'm terribly sorry.
I don't want to sound like the personnel department,
but you ought to get to bed early. The camera picks up everything.
I don't want to spend my life retouching your pictures.
When we're done, you can spend all your time making small talk.
Small talk? I suppose you think the neckline of a dress
makes for worId-shaking conversation?
Anything you don't understand, you call small talk.
- What do you think of Flostre? - Don't change the subject.
- It's the same subject. - I haven't met Flostre.
You haven't? By now I thought you two'd be buddies.
You don't find Flostre in cafes, except on special occasions.
Not everyone interested in empathicalism meets him,
any more than every American meets the President.
An invitation to Flostre's home is a great honour,
and as hard to get as an invitation to...
The White House.
I don't think jokes about Flostre are funny.
No more jokes. But let's be friendly. We have to work together.
You don't have to be friendly to work together. Acquainted will do.
Am I supposed to go over to Duval's now?
I said you'd be there at 10:30am.
- I'll be there. - Promise?
I said I'd be there, and I will.
- AIright. - This is where I get off.
Wait a minute. Don't go away mad.
Can't we walk and get friendly, or better acquainted, or something?
No, thanks. I've got to go to bed.
I don't want you spending your life retouching my pictures.
You are mad, aren't you?
No, I'm not mad, I...
I'm hurt, and disappointed, and...
..and mad.
(clattering)
I didn't mean to start any scene to
Make you sigh, or to die
It's most immoral for us to quarrel
Why can't we both agree?
Don't you know Ben Franklin wrote about this thing at length?
On the proposition that in union there is strength
Why raise a storm up if we'll just warm up?
We'll be much stronger and live much longer
Let's kiss and make up
Come on, let's wake up
For I need you, and you need me
Let's kiss and make up
No use to break up
When we can work in harmony
I'll give you your way
You'll give me my way
And out the doorway
Our cares will fly away
If we'd be happy
The way is clear
Let's kiss and make up
No use to break up
We need each other, dear
(beeping)
(mooing)
(Spanish music)