那个女孩一定在跟我使眼色 她才没有 -She totally winked at me! -She did not wink at you.
本集播出： “莉亚公主的幻想” The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy
我会认为是 范莫里森（爱尔兰民谣歌手）的“土波罗蜜” I say "Tupelo Honey" by Van Morrison.
不会吧！ No way!
我会认为 最浪漫的曲子是“往日情怀” The most romantic song ever was "The Way We Were."
我觉得是艾尔顿约翰为连续剧《妙管家》里的家伙写的歌 I think the one that Elton John wrote for that guy on Who's the Boss?
那是什么歌？ What song was that?
“抱紧我，年轻的汤尼丹佐”（应该是“抱紧我，小舞者”） Hold me close Young Tony Danza
莫妮卡 莫妮卡 -Hi,Monica. -Hi,Mon.
天啊 Oh,my God!
她到底有没有睡觉？ Has she slept at all?
没有 已经连续三个晚上了 It's been three nights in a row.
从昨天起，她终于不哭了 She finally stopped crying yesterday.
但是她又在阳台发现 理查抽过的雪茄 But then she found one of Richard's cigar butts on the terrace....
好吧，这说明了为何我在 清晨两点接到一通电话 Okay,that explains it. I got a call at 2 in the morning...
而我只能听到一些吱吱的声音 ...and all I could hear was this squeaky sound.
我就想“一定是老鼠或负鼠” So I thought,"It's a mouse or a possum."
然后我就想，好吧… Then I realized,like,okay...
老鼠或负鼠怎么会 有钱打电话呢？ ...where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call?
早安 早啊 -Morning. -Morning.
你做了松饼啊？ You made pancakes?
是啊，你还以为我真的会做呢 Yeah,like there's any way I could ever do that.
莫妮卡和瑞秋有糖浆 Monica and Rachel had syrup
我可以让我的男人开心了 Now I can get my man to cheer up
早安，乔伊 Good morning,Joey.
早安 Good morning.
你干脆别去上班 跟我在一起就好了 Why don't you stay home from work and just hang out with me?
是啊，但愿如此 Oh,I wish.
你有报告要做 而我得去见律师 You have that report to finish,and I've got to see my lawyer.
我真不敢相信 我竟跟要离婚的女生约会 I can't believe I date a girl who's getting divorced.
我真像个大人 I'm such a grownup.
我要走了… I gotta go,I gotta go.
给我个吻才能走 Not without a kiss.
或者我就不亲你 这样你就会留下来 Maybe I won't kiss you so you'll stay.
快亲她… Kiss her. Kiss her!
晚点见，甜心 再见，乔伊 I'll see you later,sweetie. Bye,Joey.
再见，珍妮丝 Bye-bye,Janice.
你什么时候要甩掉她？ When are you dumping her?
不会 Nope.
这次不会了 Not this time.
拜托，别整我了 Come on,quit yanking me.
我没有整你 I'm not yanking you.
这个是珍妮丝 对，我知道 -This is Janice. -Yeah,I know.
她让我很愉快 She makes me happy.
好，你看着我的眼睛 告诉我，不可以眨眼睛 You look me in the eye and tell me,without blinking...
说你不会跟她分手 别眨眼睛 ...that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
我不会跟她分手！ I'm not breaking up with her!
天啊，你看我在排水管里 发现什么？ God,look what I found in the drain!
什么？ What?
这些是理查的头发！ It's some of Richard's hair!
我该拿这些怎么办？ What do I do with this?
第一件事就是 把它从我身边拿开 Getting it away from me would be job one.
奇怪，但我并不想把它丢掉 It's weird,but I don't want to throw this away.
这些是我仅有的 属于他的东西 This is all I have left of him.
恶心的… Gross...
排水管的头发 ...drain hair.
真好玩，好像有一个小人 在你的麦片里淹死了 Cool! It looks like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal.
我是怎么了？ 你需要一些睡眠 -What is wrong with me? -You need to get some sleep.
我需要的是理查 I need to get some Richard.
你跟他分手是有原因的 You broke up with him for a reason.
我知道… 我只是不想再这么想他 I know. I know. I'm just so tired of missing him.
不愿再去想，他为何不打来？ 他为何都没打来？ Tired of wondering why he hasn't called. Why hasn't he?
可能因为你叫他别再打来？ Maybe because you told him not to?
你到底是什么？ 记忆女王吗？ What are you,the Memory Woman?
他们不会分手！ 我是说钱德和珍妮丝 They're not breaking up! Chandler and Janice?
他们不会分手！ 他的眼睛连眨一下都没有 They're not breaking up! He didn't blink!
我一点也不惊讶 你看过他们在一起的样子吗？ I'm not surprised. Have you seen them together?
他们真的好可爱 They're really cute.
“可爱？”那可是珍妮丝！ "Cute"? This is Janice!
你记得珍妮丝吗？ You remember Janice?
我记得啊，她很惹人厌 但是你知道吗？ Yes,I remember. She's annoying. But you know what?
她现在是他的女朋友 那我们能怎么办？ She's his girlfriend now. I mean,what can we do?
这就对了，我就是要这种精神 “我们能怎么办？” There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! "What can we do?"
好，谁先来？罗斯？ All right,who's first,huh? Ross?
钱德是我们的朋友 而珍妮丝能让他快乐 Chandler's our friend,and Janice makes him happy.
所以我们就成熟点，接受她 So I say we be adult about it and accept her.
这个先归类在B计划 We'll call that Plan B.
甜心… Honey...
我在想啊… ... I was wondering...
你那套海军制服还在吗？ ...do you still have that Navy uniform?
不，我拿去戏服店还了 No,I had to return it to the costume place.
我还有一套 高中乐团的旧制服 I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
你记得高中时不能做爱吧？ 是啊 You remember not having sex in high school,right?
甜心，那么你呢… Well,honey,what about you?
你有任何有趣的幻想吗？ Do you have any fun,you know,fantasy-type things?
别这样，你一定有 Come on. You gotta have one.
没有 Nope.
罗斯，你知道吗？ You know what?
如果你跟我说 或许我会帮你实现 If you tell me,I might do it.
你有没有看过《星球大战》的《绝地大反攻》？ Did you ever see Return of the Jedi?
你记不记得那场戏… Do you remember the scene...
当赫特族的贾霸出现时？ ...with Jabba the Hutt?
贾霸带着他的囚犯… Well,Jabba had as his prisoner...
莉亚公主 ... Princess Leia.
莉亚公主穿着… Princess Leia was wearing...
金色的比基尼 ...this gold bikini thing.
那样子很好看 It was pretty cool.
莉亚公主穿金色比基尼？ 我们这年纪的男人都很喜欢 Princess Leia and the gold bikini? Every guy our age loved that.
真的吗？ Really?
很重要的！ 那个时刻，她不再是个公主 It's huge! That's the moment when she stopped being a princess...
她变成了…一个女人 ...and she became,like,you know,a woman.
你曾扮过莉亚公主吗？ Did you ever do the Leia thing?
真的吗？有那么棒啊？ Really? That great,huh?
不，只是我买了新的传呼机 我把它调成“震动” No,it's just that I got this new pager,and I have it on "vibrate."
再见 See you.
你们好啊 Hi,you guys!
你看我在四川龙餐厅外 找到谁了？ Look who I found standing outside the Szechuan Dragon...
她盯着停车收费表看 ...staring at a parking meter.
你怎么没去上班？ 他们把我送回家了 -Why aren't you at work? -Oh,they sent me home.
为什么？ Why?
因为我并不是在四川龙餐厅上班 Because I don't work at the Szechuan Dragon.
你真的需要睡一下 You really need to get some sleep.
我知道 I know I do.
你猜怎么着？ 有人要出版我的论文 Guess what? They published my paper.
-真的吗？-是的 -Really?-Yes
瑞秋，你看！ Rach,look!
我那强壮的罗斯天行者 何时会来拯救我？ Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me?
他来了！ There he is!
-幸运！-的！ -Wheel! -Of!
轮盘！ Fortune!
这个家伙好笨 This guy's so stupid.
是“拉什莫尔伯爵” （应该是拉什莫尔山，刻有美国四位总统头像） It's Count Rushmore!
你真的该去参加这个节目 You should really go on this show.
我有三张今晚巡游者队的票 你觉得如何？ I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What do you say?
我一定去！ I say I am there!
太棒了！ Cool!
罗斯也会去吗？ Is Ross going too?
不，是珍妮丝 No. Janice.
珍妮丝？ Janice?
因为我会替罗斯难过 你知道吗？ Because I just feel bad for Ross,you know?
我们总是一起去的 我们是曲棍球三兄弟啊 We always go together. We're like The Three Hockey-teers,you know?
我可能误会你了 但你是否不喜欢珍妮丝？ I may be way out on a limb here,but do you have a problem with Janice?
没有 No!
对啦… Yes....
天啊，我该怎么说？ Oh,God,how do I say this?
你知道希腊餐厅里 那个头发很蓬的女孩子？ You know that girl from the restaurant with the hair?
那个我很讨厌的女孩子？ 她快把我逼疯了 That girl that I hate? She drives me crazy.
听着，我不讨厌珍妮丝 只是她令人难以忍受 Look,I don't hate Janice. She's just a lot to take,you know?
你说出来了吧 Well,there you go.
别那样看着我 Don't look at me like that.
以前她也快把你逼疯了 记得吗？ She drove you nuts before,remember?
但是我现在为她疯狂 这次可能是真的 I'm crazy about her now. This could be the real thing.
我是说“真的” Capital R,capital T!
别担心，我说的字母是对的 Don't worry,those are the right letters.
你到底要我说什么？ Look,what do you want me to say?
我要你说你喜欢她！ 我不能 I want you to say that you like her! I can't
就像化学反应，知道吗 lt's like this chemical thing, you know?
每次她一开始笑，我就想… Every time she starts laughing,I just wanna...
想把我的手臂拔下来 然后往她身上砸 ...pull my arm off so I have something to throw at her.
谢谢你的努力 Thanks for trying.
对了，根本就没有拉什莫尔伯爵！ Oh,and by the way,there is no Count Rushmore!
那个在拉什莫尔山上化妆假扮总统的人是谁？ Then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain?
你怎么可以告诉她？ How could you tell her?
我想又没什么大不了的 I didn't think it would be that big a deal!
她认为没什么大不了的？ She didn't think it would be that big a deal!
你这样子是在跟谁讲话？ Who are you talking to when you do that?
这些应该是我们之间 很私密的对话 Look,that was supposed to be a private,personal thing between us.
菲比是我的女性好友，好吗？ 我们无话不谈的 Phoebe is my girlfriend,okay? We tell each other everything.
男人也一样啊 Guys do the same thing.
那些更衣室里的对话呢？ I mean,what about all that locker-room stuff?
那又不一样了，我们会谈 像是谁跟脱衣舞娘约会 That's different. That's like,who dated a stripper?
或谁在史坦顿岛渡轮的后舱做爱 Or who did it on the back of the Staten lsland ferry?
这两个都是乔伊吧 Both of those Joey?
但是不会谈女朋友… But you don't talk about your girlfriend...
还有你们之间亲密的事 ...and the intimate stuff you do with her.
连最好的朋友也不谈？ Not even with your best friend?
真可悲啊 That is so sad.
你们错过太多乐趣了 You're missing out on so much.
那是种互相连结 与分享的感觉… I mean,the bonding and the sharing...
并知道他们也和你 经历过一样的事 ...and knowing they're going through the same thing you are.
那你们什么都跟对方说吗？ So,what,you tell each other everything?
差不多啊 Pretty much.
你们有没有谈过 一夜五次的纪录？ Did you talk about the Night of Five Times?
你有没有告诉她们 那次一夜五次的纪录？ Do you tell people about the Night of Five Times?
甜心，你那次是跟卡萝 Honey,that was with Carol.
我知道，我想还是值得一提 I know,but it's still worth mentioning,I think.
全身肌肉放松 Relax every muscle in your body.
听着叮叮咚咚的音乐 Listen to the plinky-plunky music.
好，闭上你的眼睛 Okay,now close your eyes...
想一个很愉快的地方 ...and think of a happy place.
告诉我让你快乐的地方是哪里 Tell me your happy place.
理查家的客厅，一起喝酒 Richard's living room,drinking wine.
不…不可以跟理查有关 把酒杯放下，快出来 No,no,no. Not a Richard thing. Just put down the glass and get out.
对不起，那是让我快乐的地方 I'm sorry,but that's my happy place.
好，我的快乐地方借你用 但别乱动东西 Okay,fine. Use my happy place. Just don't move anything in there.
我会试着不乱动 I'll try not to.
好，你现在在草地上… Okay. All right,so,you're in a meadow...
天上有一片繁星 ... millions of stars in the sky
你觉得分手是错误的吗？ You think breaking up was a mistake?
快乐的地方不准问问题 There are no questions in the happy place.
只有和煦的微风 和从树上撒下的月光 Just the warm breeze and the moonlight flowing through the trees.
我赌他一定忘了我 我打赌他好得很 I'll bet he's over me. I'll bet he's fine.
快乐的地方 不允许赌博和下注 Betting and wagering of any kind are not permitted in the happy place.
那里只有…美丽的瀑布 There's just,you know,the lovely waterfalls...
和缓慢流动着的喷泉 ...and the trickling fountains...
还有低声轻语的小溪 产生平静的音律 ...and the calming sounds of the babbling brook.
好，一点用也没有 Okay,this isn't working.
我还是醒着的 而且我得去尿尿 I'm still awake,and now I have to pee.
我听说… So I hear...
你讨厌我！ ...you hate me!
我没说我讨厌你 我可是很小心的 I never said hate. I was very careful about that.
有一只小鸟告诉我 你想扯下手臂，丢到我身上 A little birdie told me you wanted to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
这样你就觉得我讨厌你？ 你也太断章取义了吧 And you got "hate" from that? You're taking a big leap there.
好吧… All right,fine,fine,fine!
这种情形，我们得想点策略 We have got to do something about our little situation here.
这是我的主意 So this is my idea.
你和我花点时间，好好相处 You and me spending some quality time together.
但是那有什么关… But what does that
为了钱德！ For Chandler!
好吧，我加入 Okay. I'm in.
好！这就叫做… 乔伊和珍妮丝的逍遥一日游 Okay! This is what we'll call it: Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!
要一整天啊？ A whole day?
是的，因为这是让你爱上我需要的时间 Yes,because that's how long it takes to love me.
是，我知道 我睡在你们的隔壁 Yeah,I know. I sleep in the next room.
我今天去了邮局 So I went down to the post office...
寄来的是我订的录影带 ...and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered...
是帮理查订的，有关南北战争的 ...for Richard about the Civil War.
他很喜欢看南北战争 He loved the Civil War.
你要不要我们带你回家？ Do you want us to take you home?
或者带我到遥远的银河去吧（《星球大战》的开场台词） Or maybe to a galaxy far,far away.
女人什么事都说，你知道吗？ Women tell each other everything! Did you know that?
不，钱德，我是说全部的事 No,Chandler,everything.
你喜欢的东西，她喜欢的东西 Like stuff you like. Stuff she likes.
技巧，精力，周长 Technique. Stamina. Girth.
“周长”？ Girth?
为什么…？ Why? Why? Why?
她们为何这样做？ Why would they do this?
瑞秋说分享的感觉很棒，而… Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly...
我们也应该这么做 ...we ought to be doing it.
你想要吗？ Do you want to?
我们不会要讨论周长吧？ We're not gonna talk about girth,are we?
好，你先吧 All right,you go first.
好，我先说 Okay. Okay,I'll go first.
有天晚上… So the other night...
瑞秋和我在床上 讨论彼此的性幻想 ...Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies...
我就形容了一个画面… ...and I happened to describe a particular...
星球大战里的… ... Star Wars thing
莉亚公主和金色比基尼 Princess Leia and the gold bikini.
我知道！ I know!
这倒挺容易的 Well,that was easy.
好，换你了 Okay,you go.
好，当你跟一个女人在床上… Okay,you know when you're in bed with a woman...
正在亲热… ...fooling around...
脑袋里突然出现 一些疯狂的念头 ...and you get all these mental images in your brain?
就像超级名模埃勒麦克弗森 或是影印店的那个女孩 Like Elle MacPherson or the girl at the Xerox place?
穿了肚脐环的那个？ 我知道 -With the bellybutton ring? -I know.
但是突然之间 你忽然想到你妈 And then all of a sudden,your mom pops into your head.
然后你就想 “妈，快走开啦！” And you're,like,"Mom,get out of here!"
但从那时起 你的脑袋里就只有你妈 But after that,you can't think of anything else.
而你正在做的事又不能停止 所以你就好像… And you can't stop what you're doing. So it's kind of like you're...
你知道的… ...you know...
你知道的… ...you know....
你不知道！ You don't know!
你妈妈？ Your mom?
你是说跟你妈一起？ 你究竟有什么毛病？ You're telling me about your mom? What's the matter with you?
你说… 我说要分享，不是吓人 -You said -I said "share," not "scare"!
你给我坐到那边去 Go sit over there!
我们回来了 We're back!
你们俩在一起干嘛？ What are you guys doing together?
乔伊和珍妮丝的逍遥一日游 Joey and Janice's Day of Fun!
真的吗？ Really?
我们去看纽约大都会的比赛 还吃了中国菜 We went to a Mets game. We got Chinese food.
你知道的，我爱这个女人 And,you know,I love this woman.
你有竞争对手了，兄弟 You have got competition,buddy.
我只是上来亲你一下 Well,I just came by to give you a kiss.
我得去接孩子了 待会儿见，甜心 I have to go pick up the baby. So,I'll see you later,sweetheart.
你也是，钱德 You too,Chandler.
你还是受不了她，是吗？ 抱歉，我已尽最大努力了！ -You still can't stand her,can you? -I'm sorry,I tried! I really did!
还是谢谢你的努力 I appreciate you giving it a shot.
但是有一点可喜的是… But you know,the good thing...
我们整天在一起 而我还能存活 ...is that we spent the whole day together and I survived.
更了不起的是，她也还活着 And what's even more amazing,so did she.
因为今天是谢伊球场（大都会主场）的“球棒”日 It was Bat Day at Shea Stadium.
我想这还蛮了不起的 I guess that's something.
天啊，这可是大事呢！ Oh,man,that's huge!
现在我知道 我可以待在她旁边，表示… Now I know I can stand to be around her. Which means...
我可以和你们一起出去… ... I get to hang out with you.
反正这就是我的重点 Which is kind of the whole point anyway.
我们在咖啡店停了一下 结果遇到罗斯 Oh,hey! We stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.
天啊 Oh,God.
希望这会让你好过点 我也会有这种想法 If it makes you feel any better,I do it too.
真的吗？ 对啊 -Really? -Oh,yeah!
当我在做爱时 我都会想像你妈的样子 I always picture your mom when I'm having sex.
1861年4月12日 April 12,1861.
萨姆特堡的美国要塞遭到炮轰 The United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon.
这场炮轰是由于… It is now under bombardment by
爸，你怎么来了？ Dad! What are you doing?
你妈今晚打桥牌 所以我进城来，抱抱莫妮卡 It's your mother's bridge night,so l came into the city for a Moni-cuddle.
你什么时候开始抽雪茄了？ Since when did you start smoking cigars?
我没有，只是喜欢闻它的味道 I don't. I just like the smell of them.
你来这里真正的目的是什么？ So what are you really doing here?
我只想确定一下你还好吧 I just wanted to make sure you're okay.
我为什么会不好呢？ Why wouldn't I be okay?
我看到理查了 I saw Richard.
你还好吗？ So how you doing?
我很好 I'm fine.
我只是有点累，但我还好 I'm just a little tired,but I'm okay.
理查怎么样了？ 你不会想知道的 -How's Richard doing? -You don't want to know.
我真的很想知道 No,I really,really do.
他的情况很糟！ Well,he's doing terrible!
真的？ Really?
比他失去芭芭拉时还糟 Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
你不是故意这么说的吧 不，那个男人简直一团糟 -You're not just saying that,are you? -No,the man is a mess!
他有没有哭？ Was he crying?
你觉得他是否等你走后 才一个人开始哭？ Do you think he was waiting till after you left,so he could cry?
或许吧 Maybe.
我想也是 I think so.
宝贝，感情这回事很难说 就像我跟你妈 Honey,relationships are hard. Like with your mom and me.
大学毕业后 我们曾分手一阵子 You know,after we graduated from college,we broke up for a while.
她父亲，就是你祖父，似乎… It seems her father,your grandfather...
希望你妈跟他一样 到欧洲四处旅行… ...wanted her to travel around Europe like he did.
当然，他是为了山姆大叔（美国政府）… Of course,he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel...
因为当时他也在猛轰德国的军用运输列车 ... because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time.
然而… However....
好吧，开始啰 Okay,here we go.
我是贾霸的囚犯，而你… I am Jabba's prisoner. And you...
你脸上的表情好怪 ... have a really weird look on your face.
怎么了，甜心？ 有什么问题？ What? Honey,what is it?
我的头发不对吗？ Did I get the hair wrong?
还是别的问题？ 跟你想像的不同，还是…？ Or what? Did you just picture it differently? What?
不是你的问题，是… It's not you. It's....
怎么了？拜托，甜心 你快把我吓坏了 What is it? Come on,sweetie. You're,like,freaking me out here.
我恨钱德 那个混蛋毁了我的人生！ I hate Chandler. The bastard ruined my life!