我讨厌这种事儿 I hate those things.
哦 Oh.
♪ Ooo-ooo Ooo-ooo ♪
♪ Reality used to be a friend of mine ♪
♪ May be why the question that's on your mind ♪
♪ But reality used to be a friend of mine ♪
♪ Reality used to be a friend of mine ♪
♪ Please don't ask me 'cause I don't know why ♪
♪ But reality used to be a friend of mine ♪
♪ I used to be friends with reality ♪
♪ She used to be a pal real close to me ♪
♪ But she tried to hide from me what was in store ♪
斯坦利 那是... 把它放回去 Stanley, is that... Will you put that back?
听见没有 Put that back!
嘿 这可是刚洗的 Hey, I just washed all this stuff.
-我喜欢这件 -对不起 - It's my gear. - Sorry, man.
-没关系 -我妈在嚷嚷什么呢 - It's okay. - What's my mom screaming about?
我拿了她最后一个面包圈 She's bummed 'cause I snaked your last bagel.
-去拿把铲子来 -不 我还没吃完呢 - Grab a shovel, man. - No, I just wanna munch.
你不想帮忙 好吧 You don't wanna help, that's just fine.
这完全是浪费时间 This is a total waste of time.
戴夫 你真是个呆子 你不可能找到舞伴的 Dave, be more of a geek. There's no way you're going to the prom.
-是人都讨厌你 -啊 - You're a disease. - Ah.
没人会到这愚蠢的池子里来游泳的 And no one will ever swim in this stupid pool.
再见 Later.
听我说 戴维 帮个忙别这么紧张好吗 Look, David, please do me a favour and stress less, bro.
马上就毕业了 伙计 High school is over, buddy.
接受现实吧 我们什么都不行 Get into it. We're losers.
我拿定主意了 斯托尼 我要在我回想中学时代的时候 I've decided something, Stoney. I wanna look back on my high school career,
能够觉得虽然我起步慢 但我变得很强 知道吗 and think that I started slowly but I finished strong, you know?
我的意思是 高中马上就要结束了 我还是一事无成 High school's almost over and I don't have anything to show for it.
我知道 我也一样 但你应该感到高兴 伙计 I know, me neither. You should be stoked though, buddy.
你最后四年也没有一败涂地啊 You got through the last four years without the full-on melon tweekage.
那还不够 我是说 我要在年鉴上占一整页 It's not enough. I mean, I want my own page in the yearbook.
那就从楼顶上跳下来 摔到大街上 那样连封面都能上 Jump off the gym, splatter on the street and go for the co-ver.
这不是开玩笑 我不能永远让人觉得 我是个来自恩西诺的呆子 It's not funny. I'm not goin' down as this geek kid from Encino.
等我挖好这个游泳池 毕业舞会之后 在这里再办个晚会 When I finish this pool, I'm gonna have the killer party after the prom.
我要成为舞会之王 毕业生中的传奇人物 I'm gonna be the prom king! And I'm gonna graduate a legend.
那我怎么办 Well, what about me?
哦 你也会在场的 Oh, well, you'll be there too.
谢谢 但是罗缤斯维尼是不会跟你去舞会的 Thanks, but Robyn Sweeney, she's not goin' to the prom with you, man.
-我希望她愿意 但她不会跟你去的 -你在说什么啊 - I wish she would but she's not. - What are you talkin' about?
罗缤斯维尼是我的 Robyn Sweeney is mine.
她那么可爱 而且爱我 She's become a major babe and she loves me.
-她觉得你很讨厌 戴夫 -我会说服她的 - She finds you crusty, Dave. - I'll convince her.
-她会明白真相的 -真相就是... - She'll see the truth. - Truth is...
生活就是要过潇洒一点 占占姑娘们的便宜 life's about greasin' the do-back, buddy, and weasin' on the buffest.
高中生活是有意思 没错 High school was interesting, right,
但是在是太累了 but it was kind of like a harsh ride. O-o-o-ow.
我们要找更伟大更美好的事去做 We're goin' on to bigger and better things, buddy.
斯托尼 我已经在做更伟大更美好的事了 Stoney, I am on to bigger and better things.
看着吧 Count on it!
哟 怎么样 Oh, wow! Hey, what's up?
-"我是个硬汉" 听过这首歌吗 -走开 - ♪ I'm a stoney crusty dude ♪ Did you know that? - Get out, dude.
当心啊 Watch out!
让一让 我和我的朋友要从这儿过 没看见吗 Excuse me. Could you move. Me and my friend, David, are comin' through.
-嘿 罗缤在那边 -罗缤 嗷哦哦 - Hey, there's Robyn. - Hey, Robyn. O-o-o-ow!
开上来了 Four-wheelin' over the ferns.
听我说 戴夫 罗缤这事儿你最好理智一点 Look, Dave, you're gonna have to mellow out, bro, on this whole Robyn thing.
-你泡不到她的 -你不明白 我们认识很久了 - She always shines ya. - You don't understand. We have history.
那是没上学的时候 你那时候可以泡她呀 You had pre-freshman history. You could've had her back then.
那时候她还不可爱呢 She hadn't hit "babehood" yet.
牛奶果然对身体有好处 看看她 Milk does a body good. Check her.
真不赖 伙计 She's clean, buddy,
可惜是他的 and he's got her.
马特威尔逊？ 真是个混蛋 Matt Wilson? What a jerk.
她到底看上她哪点了 What does she see in him anyway?
他脑袋上那发型很帅嘛 He's got the buff spikes chillin' on top of his melon.
伙计 他在摸她的屁股 Dude, he's checkin' her cheeks. Ohh!
他鼻子也很帅 还有... He's got the serious beak, his own personal... oh! Holding company,
他的钱 full of fundage, bro,
-都是从姑娘身上占的... -便宜 - that he weases off of ma... - jor.
-他二头肌直径有十八寸 -拜拜 - Eighteen inch bi's. - Bye-bye.
我的只有四寸 Mine are only four.
还有呢 Besides that.
他这么走路 对不对 He walks like this, right?
这样 全身放松 Just like this, the nugs fully loose.
嗨 马特 Hi, Matt.
好了 各位 请安静 All right, everybody. Quiet, please.
请坐好 我们从上一周 Settle down, quiet. We're gonna start this week's class...
结束的地方开始讲起 same place we ended last week's class.
也就是讲到什么时代的史前人类 That's talking about prehistoric man in the what?
什么时代呢？ 斯托尼 Prehistoric man in the...? Oh, Stoney?
-冰河时代 -冰河时代 对了 冰河时代 - Ice Age. - Yes, lce Age. Right, the lce Age.
我们为什么称它为冰河时代呢 因为到处都是冰 Why do we call it the lce Age? 'Cause there was a lot of ice.
我们把那些大块大块的冰叫什么呢 What do we call these big chunks of ice, those big slabs of ice?
-叫什么呢？叫什么？ -冰川 - We called what? What do we call them? - Glaciers.
冰川 没错 你有认真听 很好 Right. You are paying attention. That's good.
这些冰川 当它们移动过来的时候 These glaciers, as they moved down our way,
因为它们又重又厚又冷 使得地下水凝固 they're so heavy, cold and thick that they freeze the ground water...
-从而形成地下的... -冰川 - and they form underground...? - Glaciers.
对了 不管你们信不信 有些科学家认为 Right. Believe it or not, some scientists believe there are actual...
在我们这里现在还存在着地下冰川的活动 underground glacial movements still in this part of the world.
你们知道我是怎么想的 You know what I think that is, class?
-愚蠢 -没错 不可能 - Lame! - Exactly. Bunco, bogus.
听好 请记住 Listen, please remember...
这个半球的绝大部分 包括我现在站的这个地方 that most of this hemisphere, including the ground I'm walking on,
所有这些地方在某个时期都在零度以下 所以我想 all of this was under ice at some point, so I guess...
在某个地方挖出什么冰冻的东西来 finding something frozen, dug up here or there,
也没有什么好奇怪的 想想看 wouldn't be that uncommon when you think about it.
沿着我们的思路 So moving right along on your journey of knowledge,
我们来看看克鲁马努人 Let me show you Cro-Magnon Man.
很帅嘛 我愿意跟他约会 He's dope. I'd go out with him.
不不不 No, no.
我看不行 艾拉 克鲁马努人尽管长得不难看 I don't think so, Ella. Cro-Magnon Man, even though he's not bad-lookin',
他这时候已经直立了 极其野蛮 he's standin' upright and all, he was extremely brutal.
他想要什么就要什么 He just took whatever he wanted...
包括女人 and that included his women.
-太原始了 -没错 - That's barbaric! - lndeed.
斯托！斯托尼！ Stone! Stoney!
-嘿 快来 看看这个 -扯着耳朵了 - Hey! Come on, check this out. - That's my lobes.
摸摸看 Feel the ground, man.
哇 伙计 真凉 Whoa, buddy, it's chillin'.
不是一般凉那种 It's not like chillin', chillin'.
-真凉啊 -我知道 很冰 - Bro, it is chillin'! - I know. It's cold!
呃... 帮帮我 It's so, uh... Help me.
看看 伙计 Check it, buddy.
哇 Oh, buddy!
-我知道这是什么了 -这是什么？ - Dude, I know what this is, bro. - What is it?
-旧石器时代的碗 -不可能 - It's a Mousterian bowl. - No way!
嘿 戴维 小心点拿 Hey, come on, David. Be careful with that.
什么叫旧石器时代的碗？ What's a Mousterian bowl?
旧石器时代的碗就是旧石器时代留下的碗 A Mousterian bowl from the Mousterian era.
"史前文物五百元抢答" "Prehistoric artifacts for five hundred, Alex."
你没看过"危险游戏"？ Don't you ever watch "Jeopardy"?
伙计 这简直是史前时代的特百惠啊 Buddy, this is kind of like prehistoric Tupperware, bro.
还完好无损... 像保鲜罐头一样 It's still preserved... like Smuckers!
地震了！ 地震了！ Earthquake! Earthquake!
地震了！ Earthquake!
啊啊啊 Ahhhh!
哦 Oh!
哦 天哪 Oh, God!
身手不错啊 救世戴夫 Nice save, Davage.
-斯托？ -什么 - Stone? - Yeah.
有个人埋在我池子里了 There's a guy buried in my pool.
嗨 弗雷德 总算找到你了 Hello, Fred. I'm glad I caught you.
这星期什么时候有时间开个会？ Are you available for a meeting sometime this week?
-摩根太太 快开门 -妈妈！ - Ms Morgan, open the door! - Mom!
妈妈 池子里埋了一个人！ Mom, there's a guy buried in our pool!
-妈妈！ -开开门！ - Mom! Mom! - Open the door!
我在工作！ I'm working!
快打911！ Call 9-1-1!
吉姆莫里森的尸体还一直没找到呢 They never found Jim Morrison.
吉米霍法的也没有 Yeah, or Jimmy Hoffa.
还有吉米马霍尼 Or Jimmy Mahoney.
我当童子军的时候认识的 He was a kid I knew in Cub Scouts.
好了 走吧 Come on, let's go.
一直没有找到他的尸体 They never found him.
-戴维 我知道是什么了 -什么？ - David, I know what this is. - What?
-穴居野人 -拜托你！ - It's a caveman. - Would you please!
我是认真的 No, I'm serious.
不可能 No way!
哇 一个穴居野人 Whoa. A caveman!
简直不敢相信 你知道这意味着什么吗 This is unbelievable! Do you know what this could mean for us?
这可能意味着... 意味着名声与财富！ This could mean... This could mean fame or money!
或者个人魅力！ Or popularity!
这责任对我来说可太大了 Far too much responsibility for me.
反正 我已经很有魅力了 Anyways, I'm already popular.
对 你身边可多人围着你转了 斯托尼 Yeah, you travel in large groups of one, Stoney.
再说 这是我出名的唯一机会 Besides, this is my one chance to make somethin' out of myself.
你得帮我把他挖出来 听着 你在场 就有你的份 You gotta help me dig him out. You were here. You're part of it.
我才不想掺和这些呢 戴夫 我这样挺好的 I don't wanna be part of anything, Dave. I'm happy just to be me.
这也许意味着财富呢 It could mean money.
你告诉我 你不想要一辆新车？ You tellin' me you couldn't use a, a new scooter?
几条名牌新裤子？ Some new bell-bottoms?
一点零花钱？ A little fun-dage?
找个有豪宅有泳池的富婆？ Wease some older nugs with a mansion and a pool?
在沙滩上晒太阳 Soakin' up the rays,
想看多少集"危险游戏"都可以？ watchin' all the "Jeop-ardy" you can handle?
-被你说中了 -任何人都是可以被买通的 走吧 伙计 - That was the clincher. - Everybody's got a price. Come on, man.
稳一点 加点油 再加点油 Steady it! Give it more gas, more gas!
好极了 停！ Perfect! Hold!
这东西肯定有一吨重 This thing weighs a ton.
啊 Ahh!
看他的胳肢窝 伙计 Hey, there's his pits, bro.
那是他的头 That's his head.
那是他的后脑勺 That's his skull.
走开 Get off me!
-你干嘛？ -我讨厌早晨 - What are you doin'? - I don't like mornings.
哦 快点 起来 Ow! Come on, let's get up.
他还在这儿 He's still in here.
不开玩笑 戴夫 他是根冰棍 No kidding, Dave. He's an ice cube.
-我们得把他化开 -好吧 - We gotta thaw him out. - Okay.
这事得保密 知道吗 斯托尼？ This has gotta be our secret, okay?
你不能告诉任何人 谁都不行 You can't tell anybody... nobody!
-能告诉史蒂夫库瑟吗？ -不行！ - Can I tell Steve Kooser? - No one!
-谁都不行 明白吗 -好吧 我闭嘴 - All right? Nobody! You understand? - Yeah, zip...
谢谢 Thank you.
-还不错 -嗯 你今天棒极了 - This is kind of nice. - You were great.
-嗨 罗缤 -嗨 戴夫 - Hi, Robyn. - Hi, Dave.
-猜我发现什么了？ -人生？ - Guess what I found? - A life?
不 过来 猜我发现什么了 No. Come here. Guess what I found?
-我不知道 不知道 -猜猜？ - I don't know. I have no idea. - Guess? Guess?
-我发现了一个野人 -野人？ - I found a caveman. - A caveman?
-嘘 对 -哦 戴夫 你晕头了吧 - Shh. Yeah. - Oh, Dave, you're drowning.
帅呆了 对吧？ 我找到了一个野人 It's cool, right? I found a caveman.
我一个人找到的 在我家后院里挖出来的 All by myself. I dug him out of my backyard.
-你想不想下了课之后去看看？ -嗯... - You wanna come check him out after school? - Well, uh...
-我只会请几个人去 -我得准备舞会的事 - I'm only invitin' a few people. - I got that prom thing.
就十分钟 行吗 Ten minutes. Please?
戴夫 我只是觉得我还应付不了一个 Dave, I just don't think I'm ready to handle a...
...野人 a caveman.
是吗 You're not?
好吧 All right.
我理解 I understand.
再见 戴维 Bye, David.
我喜欢她叫我戴维 I love it when she calls me David.
-你好 戴维 -啊 - Hello, David. - Agh.
去哪儿啊 Goin' somewhere?
-我和你妈有个约会 -这样可不好啊 - Yeah, I got a date with your mom. - That's not nice.
开玩笑的 对不起 我开玩笑而已 It's a joke. I'm sorry, just kidding.
-从三年级起你就让我很头疼了 -天哪 - You've been a headache ever since the third grade. - God!
我听说了你那些舞会之王的屁话 醒醒吧 I know about your stupid prom-king bullshit. Forget it.
你着火了罗缤都不会理你的 Robyn wouldn't piss on your gums if your teeth were on fire.
她会的 Yes, she would.
嘘 闭嘴吧 拜托 Shush! Hush, please!
你又犯傻了 摩根 Showin' your ignorance again, Morgan.
有些人发育太早 有些人已经衰老 Some of us pump and some of us slump.
你该长大了 摩根 得祛祛你的青春痘 You should try some pump, Morgan. Might clear up your acne.
-你真是... -是吗？ - You're so... - Am I?
不 不 停下 N-no, stop.
停下！ Stop it!
你逼我的 Why do you make me do this?
你在写什么？ 嘿 你写了什么？ What are you writing? Hey, what did you write?
马特 别拉火警！ Matt, not the fire alarm!
马特！ 马特！ Matt! Matt!
帮帮忙！ 哦 天哪 God, help! Oh, God!
嘿 来看看 哈哈 Hey, come here. Oh, ta-ha-ha.
嗯 Hmm.
我会回来的 I'll be back.
♪ This is our philosophy. All these things can turn you free ♪
♪ Now in this land of democracy why no one sets the people free ♪
♪ Lady Liberty rocks away. No truth, no justice ♪
♪ The American way ♪
♪ Clap your hands and dance ♪
♪ Treaty, oo-oh. Treaty, yeah ♪
♪ Treaty, oo-oh ♪
他化掉了 He melted.
戴夫 我们也不知道会发生这种事 Dave, it just wasn't meant to happen.
走吧 我给你买吃的去 Come on, I'll go buy you some Ho-Hos.
走吧 算了 Come on. It's all right.
他化掉了 He melted.
鲍里斯！ Boris!
什么鬼 What the...
简直不敢相信 他还活着！ I can't believe it. He's alive!
他之前基本就是一根冰棍 基本上 He was practically an ice cube... practically.
-我说我们该走了 -不 不行！ - I say we just walk. - No, no way!
-哦 拜托 -他是我们的 我们找到他的 - Oh, please. - He is ours. We found him.
-什么？ -客气点？ - What? - Be hospitable?
-啊！ -啊！啊！ - Ooh! - Ahh! Ahh!
你好吗？ 嗨 我叫戴夫 How ya doin'? Hi, my name is Dave.
过来 过来 介绍一下自己 Come here, come here. lntroduce yourself.
这是斯托尼 他是我的朋友 This is Stoney. Stoney, he's my friend.
呃 这是我的房间 Uh, this is my room.
没事的 没事的 It's okay. It's okay.
呃 我们来自恩西诺 Uh, we're from Encino.
认识你很高兴 It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
-希望你不要咬我们的鼻子 -嘘 - We hope you don't gnaw on our beaks. - Shh.
我知道该怎么做 斯托尼 I know what I'm doing, Stone.
我们上高中 高中 We go to high school. High school?
他不知道什么叫高中 He doesn't know what high school is.
他什么都不知道 He doesn't know what anything is.
冷静点 放松 Just be calm and easy.
-冷静... 放松 -嗨 - Calm... and easy. - Hey, hi.
-接电话！ -好 好的 - Get the phone. - Okay. Okay.
没事 没事的 It's okay. It's okay.
看 我觉得他冷静下来了 See, I think he's calming down.
冷静... 冷静 Calming... down.
哈？ Ugh?
火 火焰 Fire. Flameage.
-他喜欢这个 -这招绝啊 斯托尼 - Buddy's into it. - That was kill, Stone.
-你看他的眼睛 -他喜欢蓝色的部分 - Look at his eyes. - He likes the blue part.
-他的眼睛真亮 -吓吓他 嗷 - He's glossy-eyed. - Look, freak him out. Ow!
嗷 哦！ Ow! Ooh!
-啊！ -好 好 - Ugh! - Okay. Ah, ah!
-给他 -不！ - Give it to him. - No!
啊 呃 Ugh. Ugh.
-这样 这样 看 -你得教他 - Here, here. Look, here. - You gotta teach him.
哦 Whoa! Oh.
嘿！ Hey!
-不 -不 - No. - No.
什么？你刚才是不是... What? Did you just...
-他刚刚说了个"不" -不 - I think he just said "no." - No!
-不？ -不！不！ - No? - No! No!
不 不 No. No.
酷啊 伙计 他真聪明 Cool, buddy. He is so greasy!
聪明？他是个史前纵火犯 Greasy? He's a prehistoric pyromaniac.
-我们得教他东西 -我们来教他怎么骗人 - We gotta teach him stuff. - We'll teach him how to wease.
不 不 No. No.
-不！ -不 不 - No! - No! No!
哦天哪 我们得教他正常一点 Oh, God. We gotta teach him how to be normal.
不 我们要跟他一起疯狂 兄弟 No, uh-uh. We're goin' psycho with him, bro.
正常多没劲啊 That's boring, dude. Normal!
斯托尼 拜托 配合一点 Stoney, come on, man. Hang with me.
我们得把他伪装起来 We gotta play this thing out.
如果别人知道了 或是看见他了 他们就会把他带走 If we tell anyone, if anyone sees him, they'll take him away from us.
他们会把他切成小碎片 They'll cut him up into little pieces.
功劳全是他们的 而我们还是两个呆子 They'll take all the credit, and we'll still be geeks.
我才不是呆子 我是只独一无二的黄鼠狼 I'm not a geek. I'm a unique weasel, David.
就因为住在恩西诺才被人看低的 I'm just underrated 'cause I live here in Encino.
伙计 伙计？ Bud? Buddy?
-喔哦哦 -好吗？ - O-o-o-ow! - Okay?
他需要洗个澡 好好洗一次 He needs a bath... big time.
♪ I'm too sexy for my love ♪
♪ Too sexy for my love. Love's going to leave me ♪
♪ I'm too sexy for my shirt ♪
♪ Too sexy for my shirt. So sexy it hurts ♪
♪ And I'm too sexy for Milan ♪
♪ Too sexy for Milan. New York and Japan ♪
♪ I'm too sexy for your party ♪
♪ Too sexy for your party. No way I'm disco dancing ♪
♪ I'm too sexy for my love ♪
♪ Too sexy for my love. Love's going to leave me ♪
♪ I'm too sexy for this song ♪ ♪
-起立鼓掌 -太棒了 - Standing O. - Outstanding.
-如果我有个照相笔就好了 就在这 -别吓着他 - If I had a Bic, bro, right here. - Don't freak him out.
-让他看看自己 -好 - Let's show him himself. - Okay.
想看看自己的样子吗？看看 You wanna see your mug, bud? Check it.
啊！ Ugh!
怎么了 伙计？你该看看你自己 What, dude? You should be with your mug, bro.
你看上去干净了 不是吗 You look buff. Right?
嘿 你会说"干...净"吗 Hey, can you say ""ba... uff""?
"干...净" Ba... uff?
我喜欢 你也停顿了一下 I like that. You know, you pause too.
我们得给他起个酷点的名字 We gotta give him a cool name.
艾克赛尔 对 伙计 Axl. Yeah, buddy.
-不行 不要艾克赛尔 认真点 -好吧 - Not Axl. This is serious. - Okay.
我们面前的可是连接过去与现在的链环（link） We've got the missing link standing in my bedroom.
林克！我们就叫他林克！ Link! Link! We'll call him Link!
好吧 行 也许我们可以叫他斯托尼二号... Okay, cool. Maybe we could call him Stoney Number Two...
因为他的发型跟我一样 because he's got my same 'do...
而且他来自石器（Stone）时代 and he's from the Stone Age.
-我还是喜欢林克 -好吧 就叫他林克 - I like Link better. - Okay, we'll call him Link.
-但我可以叫他林克克吗？ -行啊！ - But can I call him Linkage? - Cool!
-酷！ -我们来看看他有多聪明 - Cool! - Let's see how smart he is.
不 不 过来 No, no. Come here.
-好了 好了 没事吧？ -呃 - Okay. Okay. You okay? - Uh.
嗯 呃 听着 Uh, uh, look.
-看 -呃 啊？ - See? - Ugh. Ahh?
-哇！啊！ -哇！啊！ - Whoa! Aah! - Whoa! Aah!
啊 喔 Ahh, oow, ooo.
嗷 Ooow!
好了 好了 Okay, okay.
嗯 林克 Um, Link.
-林克 -不 - Link. - No!
你是林克 我是戴夫 戴夫！ You're Link. I'm Dave. Dave!
戴夫 戴夫 Dave. Dave.
不 戴夫 戴夫 戴夫 戴夫 戴夫 No, Dave, Dave. Dave, Dave, Dave.
-戴夫 -对 - Dave. - Yes!
好了 这是... Okay, and that's...
-这是斯托尼 -嗯哼 - That's Stoney. - Mm-hmm.
斯托...尼 Sto... ney.
-不 不 斯托尼 -斯托尼 - No, no. Stoney. - Stoney.
-对！ -哈！ - Yes! - Aah!
好了 好了 那么你是？ Okay, okay. And now you are?
戴夫！哈！ Dave! Aah!
不 不 我是戴夫 你是？ No, no, I'm Dave. You are?
巴夫 Buff.
不是 No.
没关系 你也累了 It's all right. You've had a hard day.
-你爸妈！ -我爸妈！ - Your parents! - My parents!
好了 带他从后门出去 然后按三次门铃 Okay, uh, uh, take him out back and ring the doorbell three times.
-但是 戴夫... -没有什么"但是" 照做就是了！ - But, Dave... - No "buts," just do it!
跟着黄鼠狼 林克克 来 快点 快点 Follow the weasel, Linkage, come on. Quick, quick, quick.
我的厨房！ My kitchen!
抓个正着！ Busted!
你在干什么 What are you doing?
-你在干什么？ -我在做晚饭 - What are you doing? - I'm cooking dinner.
-你什么？ -被抓着了 - You're what? - Busted!
我在做晚饭 我想给你们一个惊喜 I'm cooking dinner. I thought it might be a nice surprise.
他们确实吓了一跳 They're surprised, all right.
这是怎么回事？ What is going on here?
面粉在哪儿？我找不着面粉了 Where's the flour? I can't find the flour.
你好 斯坦利 这男孩是谁 他为什么按我家门铃？ Hello, Stanley. Who is this strange boy and why is he ringing my doorbell?
-门铃卡住了 先生 -进来吧 见见新家人 - It got stuck, sir. - Come in. Meet your new family.
谁的家人？ Whose family?
鲍里斯 下去 鲍里斯！ Boris, get down! Boris!
-鲍里斯 出去！ -下去！ - Boris, get out! - Get down!
出去 出去！ Get out, get out!
嗨 爸 Hey, Dad.
-戴维 那是谁？ -哈？ - David, who is that? - Huh?
那个？那是谁？ That? Who's that?
-那是林克维奇乔姆夫斯基 -什么？ - That was Linkavitch Chomofsky. - What?
林克... 林克维... 你们没人听我说话吗？ Link... Linkav... Doesn't anybody in this house listen to anything I say?
他在说什么？ What is he talking about?
爸 林克维奇乔姆夫斯基 Dad, Linkavitch Chomofsky.
我们学校的交换生 他住我们家 Our exchange student? He's here.
他要帮我们挖游泳池 He's gonna help us dig the pool.
对 Yeah!
这些我怎么都没听说过？ Why does none of this sound familiar to me?
我一个月以前跟你说过 记得吗？ I told you about this months ago, remember?
关于给留学生提供住处 学习他们的文化 About school giving us extra credit for college for housing exchange students,
学校会给我们额外的学分什么的 你说没问题的 and learning about their culture and you said it was okay.
你现在想要收回这句话吗？ Now you're gonna take it back?
不 不 不 戴维 我不会反悔的 No, no, no, I'm not gonna take it back.
这对我很重要 这是我的生活 This is important to me. This is my life.
这太尴尬了 我要怎么跟他说？ 他大老远从... It's embarrassing. He travelled here all the way from...
-呃 爱沙尼亚 -对 从爱沙尼亚来 - I don't know, Estonia? - Yeah, Estonia!
妈 得了 你不会连这个也信吧 Mom, come on. You're not buying this?
-呃 我... -爸爸？ - Well, l... - Dad?
实际上 我... 呃 我好像想起来 Actually, I, I, I think now...
我... 想起来一点了 that I, I, I do recall something.
-看？ -看 用心回忆就想起来了 - See? - See, it's about focusing.
-你们撒谎 -这种事我怎么会忘记呢？ - You're bogus. - How could I forget something like this?
他是个交换生 他要住在我们家 He's an exchange student. He's going to be staying in our house.
三年级的时候你还忘了来接我呢 You forgot me in the third grade.
我在停车场呆了一晚上 I spent the entire night after the play in the parking lot.
六年级 足球训练费？你付了吗？ In the sixth grade, the soccer?
好吧 那他住哪里？ Okay, where's he gonna stay?
还有他为什么跟那狗过不去？ And why is he attacking the dog?
他就住我房间 他不是在欺负那条狗 他在跟它亲热呢 He's gonna stay in my room. He's not attacking the dog. He's bonding.
-说得像真的一样 -闭嘴！ - As if! - Shut up!
-你闭嘴 -不 所有人都闭嘴！ - You shut up. - No, everybody shut up.
-拉瑞 好了 -我累了 而且有点饿 - Larry, it's okay. - I'm tired. I'm a little hungry.
我们该想想晚饭吃什么了 It's time we decide what we're gonna make for dinner.
-斯坦利 我猜你要和我们一起吃？ -没错 摩根先生 - I assume you'll be joining us? - You assume correctly, Mr M.
既然差不多整个街坊都养了 多一个爱沙尼亚人又能怎么样呢？ We practically feed the entire neighbourhood. Why not part of Estonia as well, huh?
我总是在这儿吃的 我喜欢吃你们家的饭 I always eat here and I like your food.
太好了 Great.
停下！不！ Stop it! No.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
真不敢相信你告诉我爸妈他是爱沙尼亚人 I can't believe you told my parents he's from Estonia.
印着奶牛的睡衣？够燃情 Cow pyjamas? Those are kind of flaming.
喔 Ooh!
-很正点 是吧？ -正点 - Some Betty, huh? - Betty.
大足球 Gonzagas.
-足球？ -圆锥体 - Gonzagas? - Buddy, cones.
我知道今天是很重要的一天 伙计 但是明天... I know you've had a big day, pal, but tomorrow...
我会带你去一个真正特别的地方 I'm gonna take you someplace really special.
-塔可钟快餐店 -更好的地方 把相机拿来 - Taco Bell. - Better. Get the camera.
祝贺你 林克 你要成为一个毕业生了 Congratulations, Link. You're gonna be a senior.
笑一个 Smile.
♪ Wild thing ♪
♪ You make my heart sing ♪
♪ You make everything groovy ♪
♪ Wild thing ♪
哦 他可不喜欢那个 Oh, God, he doesn't like that.
那是玻璃 会撞坏你的鼻子的 That's glass. That hurts your beak.
站直了 Stand up straight.
可怜的石器代人 Poor Stone-Ager.
在冰块里冻了一百万年 He spent a million years chillin' in a block of ice.
现在他还得来上高中！唉！ Now he's gotta go to high school! Agh!
跟那呆子组一起的那人是谁？ Who's that guy with the dork squad?
-哦 天哪 他真没礼貌 -没错 - Oh, my God, he is totally rude. - Totally.
我发现 We have got a major find here.
这个家伙是我们出名的关键 This guy's our ticket to fame and popularity.
我们只要把他弄进学校登记入学 他就能帮我们出名 All we gotta do is get him enrolled in school and he'll help us become popular.
-这不太好吧 -我们会让他出名 - That's harsh. - We'll make him famous.
我们教他些小把戏 把他弄上莱特曼秀 We'll teach him some stupid pet tricks and get him on Letterman.
你在利用他 You're weasin' off his gig.
哦 拜托！他是野人 Oh, please! He's a caveman, for God sakes.
看看他 他根本就是个猴子 Look at him. He's practically a monkey.
我们找到的他 我们想让他干什么都可以 We found him. We can do whatever we want with him.
我们？不 不 不 是你 你 We, we, we? No, no, no. You, you, you.
我只想做他的朋友 I just wanna be his friend.
好吧 Fine.
你好 麦凯太太 Hello, Mrs Mackey.
这个是？ And what do we have here?
我负责带他上四节课 Now I'm covered up to fourth period.
-之后我就不知道该怎么办了 -我可以带他上西班牙语课 - I don't know what to do with him after that. - I can take him to Spanish.
-小心点行吗？ -我会的 我保证 - Will you be careful? - I'll be cool, man. I promise.
好吧 Okay.
他在干嘛？ What's he doin'?
我不知道 I don't know.
林克 当心！ Link, be careful!
嘿 嘿 Uh, hey, hey...
林克 你脑袋没事吧？ Hey, Link, how's your melon, bud?
哇哦 Whoa!
你干什么 嘿 嘿！ Excuse me. Hey, hey, hey!
喔 Whoa.
林克？ Link?
这家伙是就这么简单粗暴还是什么？ Is this dude totally fundamental or what?
-想我没？ -一直在想 - Did you miss me? - Always.
-这是谁？ -我朋友 林克 - Who is this? - This is my friend, Link.
他会跟我们待上一段时间 他从爱沙尼亚来 He's staying with us. He's from Estonia.
你开玩笑吧？他跟你们一起？ You're kidding? This guy is staying with you?
嗯哼 Uh-huh.
他想当个发型师 He's thinkin' of becoming a hairdresser.
给有钱人和名人设计一流的发型 Designing crusty mops for the rich and famous.
哦 Oh.
啊 大足球 Ugh. Gonzagas.
-不！再见 罗缤 -嘿 嘿！ - No! Bye, Robyn. - Hey, hey, hey.
我想他是说他喜欢你的胸 I think he was saying he likes your cones.
我很高兴 你走开！ I'm thrilled. Get out of my face!
罗缤 那外国人是我的 Robyn, that import is mine.
-正好赶上参加舞会 -是吗？ - This is just in time for prom. - Yeah?
-他很好看不是吗？ -我可不知道 - Is he fine or what? - I'm not sure.
-他是个观察入微的人 -林克 林克！ - He's a looker! - Link. Link!
林克 拜托 过来坐下 Link, please, come sit down.
这笨蛋是谁啊？ Who is this dipshit, anyway?
他叫林克 His name's Link.
从爱沙尼亚来 我觉得他很有意思 He's from Estonia and I think he's jive.
很有意思 行了吧 你这么觉得？ Jive, yeah. You do?
当然 而且不是我一个人 Hell, yeah, and I'm not the only one.
嘿 林克！ Hey, Link!
我下节课来找你 I'll see you next period.
-看着他 -好的 戴维 - Watch him. - All right, David.
我们去上西班牙语课 西班牙语就像是鳄梨酱 薯片还有莎莎 We got Spanish now. Spanish is like guacamole, chips and salsa.
我和我兄弟的一天 La dia es mi en hermanos.
美好的一天 The day is beautiful.
不过时光易逝 The sun isn't shining all through the night.
林克 快来 抱歉了各位 Link, come on. Sorry, you guys.
喔！ Whoa!
好的 用西班牙语重复 Vale, repitan en espanol.
奶酪放太久发霉了 The cheese is old and moldy.
奶酪放太久发霉了 El queso esta viejo y podrido.
洗手间在哪儿？ Where is the bathroom?
洗手间在哪儿？ Ї Donde esta el sanitario?
-好的 再来一遍 -你真可爱 - Good, once again. - You're cute.
你真可爱 You're cute.
今晚在溜冰场等我 Meet me at Blades tonight.
今晚在溜冰场 Blades tonight.
-干嘛 -你今晚把他送到溜冰场那儿行吗 - Yes, what? - You can drop him off in front of Blades tonight, right?
我和戴维也能一起去吗？ Can David and I go too, please?
你很臭诶 You smell.
嘿 小姐 你弄疼我耳朵了 Hey, "seniorita." That hurt my lobes.
不是我干的 都是他们惹的事 I didn't do it. They started the whole thing.
喀什米尔 拉杰尼希 对吗 Kashmir, Rajneesh, is it?
-玉米卷要热几分钟？ -两分钟 - How many minutes for the burrito? - Two minutes.
-一分钟 -两分钟！ - One minute. - Two minutes!
哦 赶紧决定啊！ Ah, make up your melons!
-到底一分钟还是两分钟？ -一分半钟 - Is it one or two? - One and a half minutes.
好吧 Okay.
好了 我的朋友 尽量体会... Okay, my friend. Try and experience...
-我要跟你说的话 好吗？ -哎 - what I'm about to chirp in your lobes, cool? - Eh.
我们来谈谈吃的 We're going to discuss grindage.
怎样做饭 填饱肚子 好吗？ How to fill the furnace, pack the cheeks and stuff the gills. Okay?
你习惯吃树枝 对吧？ You're used to eating twigs, right?
但在美国 我们有所谓... But here in the U.S. of A-age we got something called...
四类基本食物 这不是其中的一种 the four basic food groups, and this is not one of 'em.
哦 Oh.
看看这些 Look at what we have here.
-奶制品 -奶制品 - Dairy group. - Dairy group.
奶味糖豆 藏在枕头底下 这样你妈就不会发现了 Milk Duds. Hide these under your pillow so your mom doesn't find them.
如果她发现你就惨了 伙计 If she does, you're tweaked, buddy.
继续找找看 Keep on cruisin'.
水果类 甜馅饼 Fruit group. Sweet Tarts.
特别好吃 橘子味很重 伙计 你会喜欢得疯掉的 These are killer. So citrusy, dude, you'll freak.
继续找 嗯哼 Keep on cruisin'. Uh-huh.
好了 这是蔬菜类 Right, this is the vegetable group.
烤玉米粒 把他们供起来吧 Corn Nuts! Put 'em on a pedestal, bro.
看看这个！很不错吧？ Look at that! Those are kill, huh?
肉类！快来 肉类 Meat group! Come on, the meat group.
我的最爱！ These are my favourite!
嘿 你分我点儿 平均分 一半一半 Hey, you gotta be equal, equal, fifty/fifty.
-这样 嗯 -嗯 - Here. Mmm. - Mmm.
哦！早该猜到的 Ooh! Figures.
-外面热 里面凉 -就该热两分钟的 - Hot on the outside, icicle in the middle. - Two minutes.
你喜欢这样 对吧 因为你是野人 You like that, right, 'cause you're a caveman.
酷 Cool, buddy.
来杯饮料！冰饮 兄弟 The beverage! lcee, bro.
这是店里最有名的了 This is what put this place on the map.
你在干什么 斯托尼！不 不！ What are you doing, Mr Stoney? No, no!
-你不能在这儿喝 -请马上离开 - You can't do this here. - You must leave now, please.
-嘿 喀什米尔 拉杰尼希 冷静点 -没法冷静了！ - Look, Kashmir, Rajneesh, chill. - No buds chill!
林克和我要去山上玩 我们就想先在这儿弄点喝的 Link and I are cruisin' the mountain and we figured we'd wease ju-uice.
-不准偷饮料 -偷饮料 - No weasin' the ju-uice. - Wease the juice!
不！不准偷饮料 No! No weasin' the juice.
不准偷饮料 No weasin' the juice.
-嘿 冷静点 伙计 -没法冷静 - Hey, just chill, buds. - No buds chill.
没关系 冷静点 It's okay. Just chill.
-我会回来的 -不能冷静了！ - I'll be back. - No buds chill!
哦 天哪 不 停下来！ Oh, God, no! Wait! Stop!
来了！ Here we go!
爽呆了！ Comin' home!
这个是不是很刺激啊 兄弟？你喜欢吗？ Was that the hottest or what, bro? Are you into it?
♪ Joy to the fishes in the deep, blue sea ♪
停下！ Stop!
你们去哪儿了？一下课就跑了 Where did you go? You just took off.
你知道我有多担心吗？ Do you know how worried I've been?
-你听起来像我妈一样 -你不能这么对我 - You sound like my mom. - You can't do that to me.
他鼻子上是什么？ What's on his nose?
冷静点 戴夫 知道吗 Just chill, Dave, 'cause you know why?
林克和我上山玩去了 Link and I had a stoney time at the Mountain.
你带他去梅加山了？你疯了吗？ You took him to Mega Mountain? Are you crazy?
没错 他们现在把过山车倒着开了 Yeah, 'cause they're riding the Vapour in reverse.
-真的吗 哦 酷啊 -嗯哼 - They are? Oh, cool. - Uh-huh.
看漂亮姑娘 偷饮料 Check out the fresh nugs. Weasin' the juice.
-喔哦哦 -喔哦哦 - O-o-o-ow. - O-o-o-ow.
-兄弟 -兄弟 - Buddy. - Buddy.
看我的发型 喔哦哦 Check out my cap. O-o-o-ow!
哦 天哪 他现在说话和你一样了 Oh, my God! You got him talkin' like you now.
-喔哦哦 -喔哦哦 - O-o-o-ow. - O-o-o-ow.
天哪 林克 这真漂亮 很古老了吧 Gee, Link, that is so beautiful. Is it old?
话说 摩根先生 照我看 将来... You know, Mr M., the way I look at it, some day...
你女儿可以嫁给我... your daughter and I could be married...
-那样我们就可以成为亲戚了 -我数着日子呢 - and we could be related. - I count the days.
那么 斯坦利 你妈还好吗 So, Stanley, how's your mother?
她情绪不太好 能把青豆递给我吗？ She's really bummed. Can you pass the peas?
-当然 -谢谢 - Sure. - Thanks.
摩根先生 如果我在这儿骗吃骗喝让你不高兴的话 别生气 Mr Morgan, if you're edged 'cause I'm weasin' on your grindage, just chill.
因为如果我家也能天天这么脱线 'Cause if I had the whole Brady Bunch thing happenin' at my pad,
我一定会赖在家里的 I'd go grind over there.
所以人艰不拆啊 老人家 So don't tax my gig so hard-core, cruster.
-斯坦利 说人话 -爸！ - Stanley, speak English. - Dad!
林克 今天过得怎么样？还适应吗？ Link, how was your day? How are you adjusting?
他适应得不错 我们已经让他登记上课了 He's doin' just great. We got him enrolled in all his classes.
-对吧 伙计？ -啊 - Didn't we, pal? Yeah. - Ugh.
很不错 A success.
怎么了？ What's up?
你今天怎么样 妈妈？你去哪儿？ How was your day, Mom? Where you goin'?
-他在干嘛？ -我想他是在抓苍蝇 - What's he doin'? - I think he's tracking a fly.
♪ Shoo, fly Don't bother me ♪
♪ 'Cause you belong to my friend, Link ♪
好身手 Good catch.
肉类！ Meat group!
他也喜欢磨牙小饼干 He's into munchin' too, you know.
溜冰场 终于也是受欢迎人群里的一部分了 Blades. Finally part of the elite.
-我们酷不酷？ -太酷了 - How cool are we? - We're cool.
戴维 我还洗了澡呢 看看我的... David, I even showered. Check out my...
我喷了上等的除臭剂 来闻闻 伙计 I got the raddest deodorant on, buddy. Take a whiff, bro.
♪ Oh, no, you're invited but your friend can't come ♪
林克 嗨 Link, hey!
-见到你真的太高兴了 -啊 - I am so glad to see you. - Ugh.
亲爱的 别跟着呆子组了 他们对你没好处 Oh, hon, lose the geek squad. They're bad for your deal.
溜冰场！ Blades!
质量检查 废物来了 Hummer patrol, Barneys incoming.
罗缤 Robyn.
-抓住他们 -没问题 - Get him. - Got him.
嘿 罗... Hey, Rob...
罗缤！ Robyn!
-很好 -很好 - Good. - Good.
一点都不友好 你们 That was not cool at all, you guys.
你们会伤了他的胰腺 或其他什么地方的 You could hurt his pancreas or something.
我喜欢这些番茄酱和芥末酱涂鸦 很前卫 I like the ketchup and mustard. Very avant-garde.
-哇！那是我吗？ -正点 - Whoa! Is that me? - Betty.
正点 正点？ Betty. Betty?
-正点 正点女人 -正点女人 - Betty, Betty nugs. - Betty nugs.
罗缤 别忘了 Robyn, don't forget,
我们可是一起光过屁股的 we've been naked together.
-身材不错 -还记得我们在一起的时候吗？ - Nice body. - Remember when we were together?
-你给其他人看过吗？ -没有 - Did you show this to anyone? - No.
-这张是你的 你给谁看都行 -谢谢 戴夫 - That's your copy. Show anyone you want. - Thanks, Dave.
哦 我知道了 这是你在爱沙尼亚的女朋友吗？ Oh, I get it. This is, like, your old girlfriend in Estonia?
-你想她吗？ -啊 - Do you miss her? - Ugh.
以我自己的经验 可以告诉你 Because I can tell you from experience,
异地恋是不会有结果的 long-distance relationships never work out.
-爱沙尼亚离这里大老远的 林克 -嗯 - Estonia's a long ways away, Link. - Yeah.
而我就在这里... And I'm right here...
-所以我们来想想怎么让你改变主意 -疯狂赛车 - so let's work on changing your mind. - Rad Mobile.
疯狂赛车 疯狂赛车 Rad Mobile. Rad Mobile.
哇！ Whoa!
或者还是算了 Or not.
你就是觉得我有损你的形象 就是这样 You just think I'm bad for your act, that's all.
哦 你还觉得我有助于你的形象呢 Right, and you think I'm good for yours.
-干嘛？ -马特！ - What? - Matt!
你来这儿干嘛？没人让你来 What are you doin'? You're not allowed in here.
喔 哇！ Whoa-oa-oa!
喔！喔喔！ Woo! Woo-woo-woo-woo!
你聋了吗 傻子？ Are you deaf, dork?
-我不是叫你不要跟她说话吗？ -对不起 - Didn't I forbid you to speak to her? - I'm sorry.
好了 林克 结束了 That's all, Link. It's over.
游戏结束 End of story.
-对不起 对不起 -嗯？ - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Huh?
偷饮料! Wease some juice!
嘿 你也想尝尝我的厉害吗？ Hey, you want a piece of me?
哦 天哪！ Oh, God!
我不认识你 I don't know you.
我也不喜欢你 I don't like you.
而现在 我受够你了 As of now, I'm all over you.
-看见没？ -那新来的 他受住了这一下 - Did you see that? - The new kid, he took it.
-哇！ -哇！ - Whoa! - Whoa!
别光站着 做点什么啊 给自己出气啊 Don't just stand there. Do something. Stand up for yourself.
打回去啊！ Hit him back!
林克 打回去啊！你去哪儿？ Link, hit him back! Where you goin'?
你以为你们那个保加利亚呆子朋友是个什么东西？ What do you think of your Bulgarian dork bud now?
嗯？ Hmm?
太过分了 马特 That was harsh, Matt.
我们走 Let's get out of here.
这帮废物的臭气熏得我鼻子疼 The stench of losers is doing damage to my sinuses.
停下 马特 不要靠近我了 Just stop it, Matt. Don't even come near me.
嘿 说话当心点儿 Hey, watch it.
你不如把它拿回去 反正我也不需要了 Why don't you take this, 'cause I don't think I need it any more.
嘿！ Hey!
-真没想到他就这么被人揍了 -他是和平主义者 - I can't believe he got nailed. - He's a pacifist.
一个和平主义野人？你没事吧 A pacifist caveman? You're mental.
原始人和我们不一样 戴夫 Cavemens aren't like us, Dave.
他们为食物和生存而战 而不是为了出风头 They fought for food and survival. They did not fight for popularity.
-他干嘛要打架呢 嗯？ -为了面子 - What would he be fighting for, huh? - For face.
-为了我们！为了要酷！ -酷 嗯？ - For us! To be cool! - Cool, huh?
他都不知道什么叫酷 He does not know what cool is.
他都不知道自己在哪儿 他什么也不知道 He doesn't know where he is. He knows nothin'.
他得学会怎么保护自己 He's gotta learn how to defend himself.
-为了对抗什么？ -为了对抗向马特那样的混蛋 - Against what? - Against buttholes like Matt.
来 来吧 Come on. Come on.
♪ I'm gonna knock you out Mama said knock you out ♪
飞机在天上飞呢 Our airplane's been going round and round.
停下！ Stop!
嘿 快停下！ Hey, stop!
♪ Knock you out ♪
♪ I'm gonna knock you out Mama said knock you out ♪
嘿 林克 哦哦哦！放我下来 林克！ Hey, Link! O-o-o-ow! Put me down, Link!
♪ Knock you out ♪ ♪
嗷 我的内脏 Ow, my pancreas.
嘿 看！ Hey, look!
嘿 伙计 你居然受住了威尔逊那家伙的一拳 Hey, dude. You took it from Wilson.
还没人挨了他一拳居然能活下来的 No one's ever done that before and survived.
-林克 回来 -停下！ - Link, come back here. - Stop!
哦 天哪 他好酷 Oh, God. He is so cool.
♪ Matty told Hatty ♪
♪ 'Bout a thing she saw ♪
♪ It had two big horns and a wooly jaw ♪
♪ Wooly Bully ♪
♪ Wooly Bully Wooly Bully ♪
♪ Wooly Bully ♪
-嘿 -朋友 - Hey. - Homeslice.
上课见 See you in Mr Albert's class.
-哥俩好 -哥俩好 - Slicey. - Slicey.
你好 小朋友 Hello, little one.
我们投了个票 觉得如果你来我们计算机俱乐部 We took a vote and the computer club feels your presence...
会对我们很有帮助 will be a valuable asset to our organization.
-计算机俱乐部 计算机俱乐部 -计算机俱乐部 - Computer club. Computer club. - Computer club.
哥们 Homeboy.
马特揍我的时候怎么就没发生过这种事呢？ Why doesn't that happen when Matt hits me?
再等个几百万年吧 戴维 Give yourself a few million years, David.
林克 林克 下来 Link. Link. Link, get down.
好了 下来吧 All right, come on.
我就开个玩笑 No, no. I was just playin'.
好了 克鲁马努人 All right, Cro-Magnon Man.
你们现在看到的... What you're looking at here is a representation...
就是克鲁马努人日常生活的重现 of what Cro-Magnon man's everyday life may have been like.
如果他活在今天 你可能就坐在他身边 却看不出你和他的任何区别 If he was here today, you could sit next to him, you would never know the difference.
斯托尼 继续往前走 我们来看看巨獭 Stoney, let's move on. We're gonna look at the giant sloth.
大家 这是剑齿虎 Class, this is saber-toothed cat.
虽然它们已经灭绝一万多年了 Even though he's been extinct for over 10,000 years,
但你们可以想象 它活着的时候 那些原始居民 while he was alive you can imagine that many a caveman...
就是它们可口的食物 was a tasty meal to one of these.
-就像那样 -啊哦 - There's one now. - Uh-oh.
我们来看看猛犸象展览 也是我们学校的吉祥物 Let's look at the mammoth display, our school mascot.
-当心！ -喔 - Look out! - Whoa.
林克 林克！快出来 Link! Link, get out from there!
看看他 他失控了 Look at him. He's flipping out.
-他知道了 戴夫 -什么？ - He knows, Dave. - What?
他知道了 He knows.
他知道发生什么了 He knows what happened to him.
我们得帮帮他 We have to help him.
林克 Link.
林克 林克 Link. Link.
嗷 Ow!
林克 Link.
嘿 嘿 好了 停下来 Hey. Hey, come on, man. Stop it.
听着 我明白 Look, I understand.
你的家人 Family.
家人 Family.
-家人 -你还好吗？ - Family. - You okay?
没事的 我们是你的新家人 It's okay. We're your new family.
我们是你的新家人 We're your new family.
没事的 It's okay.
没事的 It's all right.
他受了很大刺激 He's burnt from all this.
反正我们一直就被人瞧不起 Seeing as we started the school year as total losers,
谁都知道我们是什么样的人 and now everyone knows who we are,
我觉得再多犯一个错误也没什么大不了的 I don't think one mistake is such a big deal.
但你总是管着他 答应我 But you're doggin' him. Just promise me.
对他稍微温柔一点 别那么苛刻 Just a little more mellow? Not so much?
-斯托尼！ -戴夫！ - Stoney! - Dave!
好吧 All right.
如果这样能让你好受些 我会对他温柔一点的 If it'll make you feel better, I'll be more mellow with him.
-罗缤斯维尼？ -到 - Robyn Sweeney? - Here.
-又来了？ -抱歉 我就是学不会平行停车那东西 - Again? - I'm sorry. I can't get that parallel parking thing.
喔 平行停车可不是什么东西 明白吗？ Whoa. Parallel parking is not a thing, understand?
它不是一种感觉 一种思想 也不是哪种你的迪斯科舞步 It's not a feeling, not a state of mind, it's not one of your disco dances.
-是 -上车吧 这事别放在心上 - Yeah. - Get in and don't take it personally.
好的 比迪先生 Okay, Mr Beady.
-林克维奇乔姆夫斯基 -哦 哦 - Linkavitch Chomofsky? - Ugh, ugh.
你看什么？ What are you lookin' at?
呃 Ugh.
上车去 Get inside the car.
还有去宰了你的理发师 And shoot your barber.
把这个和海明威的《太阳照样升起》比较一下 Contrast this with Hemingway's "The Sun Also Rises,"
书中写了一种叫斗牛的血腥活动... where the blood sport of bullfighting...
-或许我们可以把它看作是... -啊哦 - is used and perhaps what... - Uh-oh.
-哦 天哪 疯狂赛车！ -疯狂赛车！ - Oh, God. Rad Mobile! - Rad Mobile!
快坐下！各位！ Boys, will you sit down? Class?
你答应对他温柔一点的 这可不是温柔 You promised me mellow. This isn't mellow.
林克！林克！ Link! Link!
戴夫 Dave.
注意看人！抓住方向盘！ Watch the people! Grab the wheel!
好了！ Okay!
-斯托尼 让他停下来！ -好的 停车 - Stone, tell him to stop! - Okay, stop.
-没用 兄弟 -哦 该死！ - Didn't phase him, bro. - Oh, shit!
好了 林克 玩笑结束了 停车! All right, Link. Joke's over. Stop!
-嘿唉！ -停下车 年轻人！ - He-e-e-ey! - Stop that car, young man!
我来教你 两只手抓住方向盘！ I'm your teacher. Both hands on the wheel!
那是谁啊？ Who was that?
人行横道！人行横道! Crosswalk! Crosswalk!
好险 伙计 Close call, buddy.
嘿 伙计！ Hey, buddy!
-嗨 罗缤 -嗨 戴夫 - Hi, Robyn. - Hi, Dave.
-红灯！ -红灯！ - Red light! - Red light!
嘭！两个轮子着地！ Boom! Up on two wheels!
我从没见过这么开车的 我可没这么教过 I've never seen anything like this. I don't teach that.
我记下了车牌号 是E684-257 I got the license plate. It's E684-257.
你也不用写我没熄火把钥匙留在车上了吧？ You don't have to write that I left the keys in the ignition, do you?
喔哦哦！ Ow-o-o-o-o!
我想他已经掌握要领了 I think he's got the hang of it.
今天平行停车就练到这儿吧 下课 That concludes our parallel parking for today. Class dismissed.
林克 我想你刚刚挂掉了你的驾驶课 Link, I think you just failed Driver's Ed.
嘿 林克 等等 Hey, Link, wait up.
我们这是在哪儿？ Where are we?
太好了！ Great!
♪ Move your body ♪
♪ Move your body to the rhythm of love ♪
♪ Move your body ♪
♪ Move your body to the rhythm of love ♪
你好 我的朋友 Hola, mi amigos.
-我在这儿歇会儿行吗？ -行啊 - Is it okay if I just chill up on here? - Orale.
想当个男人吗 朋友？ You wanna be a man, ese?
总有一天会是吧 我差不多了 Eventually, yeah. But I'm almost there.
-看看我的胸肌 兄弟 -喔！ - Look at my patch, bro. - Ooh!
-很男人嘛 -哦 - Mucho macho. - Ooh.
哦 这是龙舌兰吗？ Oh, this is tequila?
等等 没有低度数的吗（虫子）？ Wait, where's the worm?
虫子不就在这儿嘛 伙计 The worm's right there, ese.
哦不 我是黄鼠狼 Uh-uh. I'm a weasel.
-黄鼠狼 嗯？ -想当个男人吗 黄鼠狼？ - A weasel, eh? - You wanna be a man, weasel?
-想当个男人吗？ -那就像个男人一样喝酒 - You wanna be a man? - Then drink like an hombre.
-不 我不行 -你真没礼貌 - No, I can't. - You're showing us disrespect.
啊 你们... Ah, you guys...
太没礼貌了 黄鼠狼 That's disrespectful, weasel.
像个男人 伙计 喝光它 Be a man, ese. Drink it up.
像个男人一样喝掉 Drink like a man.
-你可以的 黄鼠狼 -喝光它 - You can do it, weasel. - Bottoms up.
你可以的 You can do it.
好了 再来一杯 再来！ Wait. Otra, otra!
再来一次 再来一次 Otra vez, otra vez, otra vez.
好 好 行了 Okay, okay, stop!
再来五杯 伙计 Five more, man.
黄鼠狼 黄鼠狼 黄鼠狼 Weasel, weasel, weasel, weasel.
等等 伙计 我还要付钱吗？ Wait, stop. Dude, do I have to pay for 'em?
-嘿 斯托 -嘿 - Hey, Stone. - Hey.
-林克呢？ -在跳舞呢 - Where's Link? - Dancin'.
-酷 我们去跳舞吧 -不 不 - Cool, let's go dance. - No, no.
-我跳得不好 不跳了吧 -你太紧张了 - I'm not good. Let's not dance. - You are too uptight.
我 我就是不喜欢跳舞 I, I just don't like to dance.
-嘿 黄鼠狼 怎么了 -嘿 - Hey, weasel. What's happening? - Hey.
-戴夫 这是恩里克 -嘿 兄弟 - Dave, Enrique. - Hey, man.
你们看见那边那女孩了吗？ You see that muchacha over there?
-哦 看见了 -你看见了？看见了？ - Oh, man, yeah. - You see her? You see her?
-别盯着她！ -对不起 - Don't be lookin' at her, man! - I'm sorry.
-你看见她了？ -没有 - You see her? - No.
如果我看见谁看我的姑娘 我就... If I see any man looking at my muchacha, that man will no longer...
废了他 be recognizable as a man.
-玩得开心 -哦 - I want you vatos to have a good time. - Yeah.
-再见 黄鼠狼 -回见 - See you later, weasels. - See ya.
♪ Feel the rhythm. Feel the rhythm everywhere ♪
♪ Feel the rhythm. Feel the, feel the, feel the rhythm ♪
♪ Move your body ♪
♪ Move your body to the rhythm of love ♪
Chomofsky. Chomofsky.
Got it.
Chomofsky.
Rabies, distemper, flea dip.
What is this?
- It's a dog license, man. - Whoa.
Animal shelter.
What are the two biggest losers in school hiding?
- A dog? - It's not his license.
Mm-hmm.
Let's get out of here.
♪ Dance ♪
♪ You know you really turn me on ♪
♪ Come on now, honey ♪
♪ You know you really turn me on ♪
♪ Get filled, get filled ♪
♪ And when when, oh, when you do it ♪
♪ Uh-uh-uh-oh. That's the song ♪
Wow! Wow!
♪ Uh-uh-uh-oh. That's my song ♪
♪ Let's do it, let's do it. You turn me on ♪
♪ Let's do it, let's do it. Come on now, sugar ♪
♪ Come on and just stick it to me ♪
♪ You turn me on. Come on now, sugar ♪
You're right, ese. She's not worth it.
- The vato's got a point. - She ain't worth it, homes!
Come here, vato.
Police. Lmmigracion.
Let's get out of here!
Oh, shit!
Stone, take Robyn.
Robyn, take Stone. Get him out of here.
I'll meet up with you guys later. All right, get out.
- Come on, I'll drive. - Link!
Link!
The cops are here. Get down.
Come on. We're gonna get busted!
- You are busted. - Get down, man.
Stoney is the crustiest vato...
I've ever witnessed.
So don't hush his gig, buddy.
Ow-o-o-o!
Eh, buddy!
Bye, guys. Drive safely.
Nice element you're hanging out with.
- Who are your friends in the low-rider? - None of your business.
- Go home. - Huh.
What time do you want me to pick you up tomorrow night?
It's the prom, remember?
You are just like everyone else.
All you care about is what people think.
It's really pathetic.
Hey, watch it.
Matt, I'm not going to the prom with you.
I wanna go with somebody who's really cool,
who's not afraid of being himself or having fun.
Good night.
Who's cooler than me?
Your phone call. You got one. Make it quick.
Thanks.
Matthew Wilson!
Hello.
- Robyn? - Robyn.
Dave, did you guys get away okay?
We're in prison.
Look, this is my one phone call.
I'm using it to ask you to go to the prom with me.
Just say yes, okay?
No.
- Why not? - I wanna go with Link.
- What? - Will you ask Link if he'll go with me?
You want me to what?
Look, I'm sorry. I'll tell you what.
We'll all go. We'll have a great time.
How about that?
Dave?
Hey!
Ї Como esta usted? Muy bonita...
es la dia.
Hey, wait. How was jail?
Did you meet anyone?
Hey, wait! Wait up.
- Things just didn't turn out right. - Ugh.
I mean, I don't want 'em cuttin' you up into little pieces.
This is just what's best for you.
It's best for me too, all right?
Here.
For Rad Mobile.
- For Rad Mobile. - Yeah.
Put 'em in your pocket.
Don't look at me like that.
This is just the way it's gotta be.
Go on, get out of here.
Go on.
Go on, leave.
Go.
I'm sorry.
Hey, hey, hey!
Talk to me, David. Let me know what's going on, man.
- What are you doin'? - I'm letting him go.
- What? - I can't handle him any more.
- He'll be better off with somebody else. - No, he's not!
Listen to me. Call him back.
- I can't take it any more. - I'm not kiddin'. Call him back.
- It's done, man. - I'm serious.
Call him back. That's harsh.
He's not my responsibility.
You're the one who weased off his gig the whole time...
'cause you thought maybe he'd get you somewhere.
Now the guy gets a little crusty and you're gonna bag him.
It's not happenin', Dave. That's not how it works with friends, man.
You don't bag your friends 'cause they get in the way, no matter what, dude.
Like you care? The only thing you cared about is nugs, chillin' and grindage.
- I happen to care right now. - That's convenient.
You came along for the ride and let me do the dirty work...
'cause you thought it might work to your advantage.
Those are desperate words of a loser.
Maybe Matt Wilson was right about you all along.
Take that back.
- No, you take it back. - Take it back!
You're a loser.
- Family! - All right.
- I'm sorry. - Family.
You can let go, Link.
- I'm sorry, man. - It's okay.
I don't know what got into me.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it, Stoney.
I'm sorry, bud.
Ow!
You look great.
Have a good time. You deserve it.
- If you touch her... - Ugh.
- You think they're ready? - I don't know.
Dave?
Dave, hey.
Hey.
You're not ready.
L, I can't go.
Of course you can. Just go upstairs, put something on.
No, really, I can't. I'm on probation.
I'm grounded.
- Hi, Link. You look great. - Hi.
You guys go. Have a good time. Go on.
- No, no, no. Come on. - Come on, Dave.
- Go. - Are you sure?
Go, have a good time. Go, Link.
Get outta here. Have a good time.
Drive safely.
God, she smells good.
To Link.
May he have a cool time at the prom.
Totally, bro. To Linkage.
There's always college.
Junior college.
Link, get down here.
Give me a boost.
Whoa.
Gotcha.
- Dave! - Stoney, come on!
Hey, what are you doing?
Give me back those pictures.
No!
- Get back here! They took the Polaroids! - Uh-oh.
- Come on. - Those are our pictures!
It's unanimous. The vote for prom king...
- goes to... - Wait!
- What's going on? - Wait!
Ugh.
What are you trying to do? Come on, stop it.
This is our school, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
We have a right to know if somethin' bogus is goin' down...
in our school, right?
- Yeah. - Right.
This homey right here has taken you for a ride.
His name isn't Linkavitch Chomofsky, and he's not from Estonia.
Matt, will you just stop this already?
Shush! Trust me.
They've all been lying to us.
But I found out.
I know the truth.
- Do you wanna know the truth? - Yeah!
Do you want to know what he really is?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Tell us the secret!
He's a caveman.
No. No!
Look, he's a freak!
- I got pictures! - No!
- See? - Let me see those pictures.
Give me back those pictures. Give me those!
- No! - Dave!
Hmmmm.
What are you doin', fag?
Go, go, go!
Watch, watch, watch.
Uh-huh.
Shush!
♪ Ow ♪
♪ She likes to feed the monkey She likes to feed the monkey ♪
♪ She likes to feed the monkey She likes to funky ♪
♪ Well, gather 'round and let me tell ya all a story ♪
♪ About a boy and his monkey ♪
♪ He's got that kind of monkey that the girls wanna know ♪
♪ He likes to take his monkey every place that he goes ♪
Ow-o-o-o!
♪ Hey, ho Just say the monkey ♪
- Watch this. - Okay.
♪ L didn't really know how do you get so hungry ♪
♪ I'd like to know would you be my monkey ♪
♪ Monkey likes to do the wild thing ♪
♪ My monkey don't scratch My monkey don't bite ♪
♪ My monkey don't swing in no tree ♪
♪ My monkey don't trick My monkey don't fool ♪
♪ My monkey be swingin' with me ♪
♪ My monkey don't freak My monkey don't hit ♪
♪ My monkey don't wear no cape ♪
♪ You can tell when my monkey wants to eat ♪
♪ 'Cause he turns into a big ol' ape ♪
What you did was pretty cool.
- Who cares about cool anyway, right? - Right.
There's one really cool thing I wanted to show you.
What?
This.
- Oh, Dave! - Hey, buddy.
it's your cave nug.
Ugh.
- Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! - Ow-o-o-o-o!
Yeah! Ow-o-o-o!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, buddy. She is so greasy!
- Duh-h-h-y! - Ah! Hey.
Buddy, ow-o-o-o!
Yeah!
I'll be ba-ack!
♪ Wow ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, stoners ♪
♪ What's up, bro Ow-o-o-o ♪
♪ Buddy, fiesta ♪
♪ Do you need a woman got the look in her eyes ♪
♪ Wanna cut me down to size Show me what you're gonna do ♪
♪ It's true ♪
♪ Who's that gorilla standing by your side ♪
♪ Oh, no That must be your bride ♪
♪ You wouldn't be with such a fool ♪
♪ Or your mama too ♪
♪ There's somethin' over here I want you to see ♪
♪ There's a party but it isn't for three ♪
♪ Get somethin' straight between you and me because ♪
♪ Oh, no, you're invited but your friend can't come ♪
♪ Whoa, no, no, come on, baby Gonna have some fun ♪
♪ Wow ♪
♪ Heartbreaker, yeah You came for the show ♪
♪ But little did you know you'd end up in the spotlight ♪
♪ Well, all right ♪
♪ Come on, babe won't you show me what you got ♪
♪ Ready or not ♪ One, two!
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ I'm makin' plans for the rest of the night ♪
♪ So tell your father that he better not bite ♪
♪ My dogs are bigger and I'm ready to fight ♪
♪ So come on, come on, come on Give it up tonight ♪
♪ Whoa, no, you're invited but your friend can't come ♪
♪ Whoa, no, no, come on, baby Gonna have some fun ♪
♪ Whoa, no, you're invited but your friend can't come ♪
♪ Whoa, no, no, come on, baby Gonna have some fun ♪
♪ We're gonna have some fun ♪
♪ Wow, have some fun, baby ♪
♪ Oh, but you can't come ♪
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
♪ Wow ♪ ♪
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