同志亦凡人中文站 www.qafone.org
HansonJang翻译制作 Yepp重校 感谢会员sweeter的诸多指正
翻译：QAFChina 校对：Yepp 2013版校稿： mohiwa
仅供学习交流 请勿用做商业用途！
Brian Kinney 他当爸爸了? Brian Kinney, a father?
没错 孩子出生的时候我就在旁边 It's true. I was there.
我亲眼所见 I saw it happen with my own eyes.
真是公鸡也能下蛋了 Talk about conceiving the inconceivable.
他怎么生出来的? Or is it the other way around?
你们就放他一马吧? Would you give the guy a break?
这世上没什么比我父亲更糟的了 Couldn't be any worse than my daddy was.
也许我父亲也是 如果我还记得的话 Or mine, not that i can remember him.
那接下来是什么?家长会? So what's next? pta parent?
儿童球赛教练？童子军领队? Little league coach? scoutmaster?
童子军不收同性恋 They don't allow queers in the scouts.
他们怕我们在里面勾引新兵 They're afraid we'll induct new recruits.
我只和已经入伍的男人约会 I only go out with men who've already enlisted.
那么 UH 他比较像谁? So, uh, who's he look like?
哦 有的眼睛 嘴巴很像BRIAN的 Well, he's got Brian's eyes and mouth and...
鼻子很像Lindsay Lindsay's nose.
好吧 如果他的阴茎像Melanie那就是大麻烦了 Well, if he's got Melanie's dick, we're in big trouble.
你们应该看看我拍的照片 You should see the pictures i took.
可爱极了 He's so adorable.
有一张他还在自摸 In one of them he's actually playing with himself.
- 谁？BRIAN? - 不 我是说那个孩子 - Who, Brian? - No, the baby.
你能想象吗 他来到这个世界上还不到一个小时 Can you imagine,he's only been in the world about an hour
他已经开始摆弄他的小命根了 And already he's pulling his pud?
- 对不起 - 怎么了? - Excuse me. - yeah.
你能告诉我男士内裤在什么地方吗? Can you tell me where men's jockey shorts are?
第四个走道上 Aisle four.
- 谢谢 - 不用谢 - Thanks. - Sure.
那么 那说明了一个道理 Well, that proves the theory.
我们这辈子都是用下半身思考 We've all got dick on the brain from womb to tomb.
说你自己的吧 Speak for yourself.
我是的 I am.
喔 继续 Yeah, go for it.
你又在看那些色情网站了吗? Are you watching that filthy web site again?
你绝对无法相信 这个家伙至少有10英寸长 You can't believe this guy. he must be at least 10 inches.
TED? TED Ted? Ted.
UH 你能等我一下吗? Uh, Can i put you on hold one moment please?
是的 Wertshafter先生? Yes, Mr. Wertshafter?
Gropnik的利润你已经复核完了吗? Have you finished going over the gropnik returns?
哦 是的 Oh, yes, sir.
我已经打印好了 I just printed them out.
给你 联邦政府和州政府各一份 There you are. Federal and state.
- 谢谢 - 不客气 - Thanks. - You're welcome...
Wertshafter先生 Mr. Wertshafter.
对不起 是老板 Sorry. the boss.
我靠 你最好小心点 Shit! You better be careful.
小心不要让他看到你在上什么”快射网" The last thing you need is for him to catch you on cumquick.com.
没关系 那个家伙就跟瞎子一样 Oh please, that guy's so blind, he's yet to figure out
他妻子和商业伙伴通奸5年了他都不知道 His wife's been boinking his business partner for the last five years.
他怎么可能发现我? How he's going to find out about me?
呆会见 I'll catch you later.
- 呆会见 - 呆会见 - Later. - Later.
还记得我们高中时读过的那个故事吗? Remember that story we all read in high school,
那个被锁在山洞里的囚犯们的故事 You know the one about the prisoners chained in the cave?
叫Plato还是啥的 Plato or whoever.
他们唯一能看见的只有墙上的影子 All they could see were shadows on a wall,
所以没多久他们就开始觉得那就是现实 So after a while, they started thinking that was reality.
我是说 Ted就像他们一样 Well, in a way, that's what Ted's like.
他很久没和现实中的人做爱了 It's been so long since he's had sex with someone he didn't download
他开始忘记网上那些魔鬼身材完美脸孔都是不现实 He's forgotten that all those perfect bodies and perfect faces aren't real.
他们都只不过是... That no one's really there. that they're only...
幻影而已 Shadows.
话又说回来 纯粹网络聊天又不会得性病 Then again, whoever got anal warts in a chatroom
Michael. Michael.
我们的啤酒和他们的啤酒之间的差别 The difference between our beer and their beer
就是我们要表达的是"性" Is that our beer says, "sex"...
而不是Clydesdales Not clydesdales.
Clydesdales:一种名种马
如果你要耍酷 If you want to be cool,
如果你想自己受欢迎 If you want to be popular,
如果你想...做爱... If you want to get... laid...
我们的啤酒就是你要喝的 This is what you drink.
至于那个模特? What about the model?
你不觉得他太 呃... Are you sure he isn't too, um...
像同性恋? Gay?
女士们的意见呢？ Ladies?
我不在乎他是不是 I wouldn't care if he was.
我还是会跟他上床的 I'd go to bed with him anyway.
你觉得呢? What do you think?
我还没考虑过 I hadn't thought about it.
注意防守! Hut! Hut!
Hut:橄榄球密语
把他弄下来 就是这样 加油 Get him down. That's it. Come on.
快跑！快跑！ Move! Move!
你们得表现出点气势 You guys show some hustle out there.
走吧 Let's go.
猜猜我昨天晚上在做什么 Guess what i was doing last night.
像我一样 睡觉? Sleeping, same as me?
做爱 整个晚上 Having sex, all night,
昨天认识的那个家伙 Brian Kinney With that guy i met, Brian Kinney.
我们一直做到早上6点 We did it to 6 in the morning.
怎么...你一点都不吃惊吗? Well? Aren't you shocked?
没什么啦 Not really.
我大概已经知道... Well, I kinda figured that you're...
你知道的 You know.
即使你从来都没告诉过我 Even though you never told me.
我现在告诉你了 I'm telling you now.
想吃点蔬菜卷吗? Want some of my veggie wrap?
那到底什么感觉? So what was it like?
我开始的时候很紧张 Well, I started out as a tight end,
等扩张了以后就很爽了 But wound up a wide receiver.
接球 接球 Ball! Ball!
上啊 你的手到哪去了? Come on, where's your arm
谢谢 Thanks
过来集合 Focus, you guys.
- 谢谢 - 很高兴见到你 - Thank you. - Good to meet you.
- 谢谢 - 期待下次合作 - Thank you. - Next time.
谢谢 Thanks.
呃...他已经结婚了 Uh, he's married
啊哈~ Uh-huh.
还有两个小孩 With two children.
哦~居家男人 Ah, a family man.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
你能告诉我男洗手间在哪里吗? Could you, uh, tell me where the men's room is?
好的 就在走廊的尽头的左边 Yeah, it's just down the hall and to the left.
谢谢 Thanks.
那可有很长的路要走呢 That's a long trip.
也许他会迷路的 He might get lost.
我想你可以带他去 I'm sure you'll show him the way.
我平躺着 There I was on my back.
他就趴在我的身上 然后慢慢插进来 And there he was on top of me, slipping it in.
那一定很痛吧 你痛吗? That must have hurt. Didn't it hurt?
当然 第一次的感觉 Yeah, at first it felt like someone
就像有人插了把扫帚进去 Was shoving a broom up there.
但是我叫他慢点 他也照做了 But, I told him to go slower, and he did.
然后当我看到他的脸时 我就什么都不想了 Then i stopped thinking about it when i looked at his face.
他闭着眼睛 His eyes were closed.
嘴巴微张 His mouth was open
好像在微笑 In a sort of smile,
仿佛他之身别处 Like he was in another place.
一个很美丽的地方 A beautiful place.
那个地方就是我 That place was me.
还有他的身材 天啊! And his body. God!
你无法想象他的身材有多棒 And his body was so amazing.
我可以清楚看见每一块肌肉 I could see every muscle.
他说他想永远留在我的身体里面 He said he wanted to stay inside me forever,
我也是这么想的 And I wanted him to.
我现在仍能感觉到他 And I wanted him to.
就像他还在里面一样 Like, he's still there.
天啊 Daphne Christ, Daphne,
所有人都只是说说而已 Everybody talks about having sex.
而我确实做了 But I really did it.
这泡尿我憋好久了 I had to piss during that whole pitch.
我觉得我都快憋不住了 Didn't think i could hold it.
你的演说令人印象深刻 Your presentation was very impressive.
真的么? Think so?
是啊 十分深刻 Yeah, it was very impressive.
是吗, 我很高兴你喜欢 Well, I'm glad you liked it,
那也是我们来这的原因 Because that's what we're here for.
为了让顾客满意 To please the client.
那么他现在和你是什么关系? So, like, what is he now?
你的男朋友? Your boyfriend?
我们才刚认识 We just met.
那...你爱他吗? Well... do you love him?
我不知道 I don't know.
是的 我爱他 Yeah, I love him.
那他爱你吗? Does he love you?
- 他这么说过 - 什么时候? - He said he did. - When?
在他快射的时候 Well, when he was about to shoot.
他的动作很快 而且一直在呻吟 He was moving really fast, and he let out this groan
我从来没见过那样的 Like nothing I'd ever heard before.
他就是那个时候说的 And that's when he said it,
在他射出来的时候 Right when he came.
他说 "我爱你 " He said, "i love you."
然后他就凑过来吻我 Then he leaned in and kissed me.
我想我们该回去了吧 Well, i guess we better be getting back.
是的 我也这么想 Yeah, i guess so.
很高兴认识你 It's been a pleasure.
本来可以更高兴的 It can be even more of one.
你说什么？ Excuse me?
我从来都不会看走眼的 You know, I've never wrong.
哦 没什么 哥们 Oh nothing, buddy.
我 我不想接吻 I- I don't kiss.
好 没问题 Yeah, right.
你为什么不和我们一起去看电影？ Why don't you come with us to the movies?
我说了，我不想去 I told you, I don't want to.
他不想去 He doesn't want to
来吧 看电影之后我们可以去购物 Come on. We can go to the mall afterwards.
我可以给你买些牛仔裤 I'll buy you those jeans.
我没心情 I don't feel like it.
他没心情 He doesn't feel like it.
你他妈的能起来吗？ Would you get the fuck away?
他说脏话 He said "Fuck"!
如果你再不离我远点 我会说些更难听的 I'll say a lot worse, if you don't leave me alone.
Molly 离他远点 Molly, leave him alone.
而且你爸爸和我都让你别在你妹妹面前说脏话 And your father and I have asked you to please not use those words in front of your sister.
她才不是我妹妹 She's not my sister.
她根本就是一种细菌感染 She's a bacterial infection.
我希望有一天能找到斩草除根的办法 For which I hope one day the find a cure.
要不...你开车 Tell you what...you can drive.
我不想开车 I don't want to drive.
他不想开车 He doesn't want to drive.
你要在这坐一整天吗？ Are just going to sit here all day?
你确定？ Are you?
我也不知道 I don't know.
他不... He doesn't....
好吧，我希望我们回来的时候你还在这 Well, I expect you to be here when we get back.
你听懂了吗？ You hear me?
走吧 Molly Come on, Molly.
现在 回到我们的电影放映 And now, back to our feature film presentation.
《辣身舞》Patrick Swayze主演 Dirty dancing, starring patrick swayze.
《辣身舞》：1987年Patrick Swayze主演 讲述年轻人反抗成人世界的歌舞爱情片
Novotny先生 Mr. Novotny?
- Mike - Mike - Mike. - Mike.
我想问问 I was wondering if...
那些你想让我搬的箱子 Well, you know those boxes you wanted me to move.
我的意思是 我也不想让你觉得我偷懒 I mean, i don't want to seem like I'm shirking or anything,
但是他们很重 But they're kind of heavy.
你可以叫个男生来帮帮我吗? Do you think one of the guys could maybe give me a hand?
好的 没问题 我叫几个人去帮你 Yeah, no problem. I can get somebody to help you.
哦 那太好了 Oh, that'd be great. okay.
我在14号过道那等你 I'll be over on aisle 14.
- 好的 - 好的 - Okay. - Okay.
是的 陛下 Yes, your majesty.
应该有人去告诉她戴妃已经香消玉陨 Somebody should tell her princess di is dead,
且皇室还没打算要再找一个 And they're not looking for a replacement.
箱子很重 The boxes are heavy.
找人帮忙没有什么不对的 And there's nothing wrong with asking for help.
我觉得她人挺不错的 I... i think she's kind of sweet actually.
你觉得她还不错? You think she's sweet?
虽然我不是很了解她 但是 是的 Well, I don't really know her, but, yeah.
那你觉得她可爱么? What about cute?
是的 她很可爱 Yeah, she's cute.
而且 她也觉得你很可爱 Well, she thinks you're cute too.
她...这么想? She... does?
她很喜欢你哦 She likes you a lot.
但是她还不知道你是不是喜欢她 But she didn't know if you liked her,
所以我帮她打听一下 So I said I'd find out.
原来你不是真的认为她很自大啊 So you don't really think she's stuck-up.
哦 她可爱得像个洋娃娃 Oh, she's a doll.
我从来没听你说过你喜欢一个女孩 You know, I never heard you say you liked a girl before.
- 我 - 实际上 - Well, I... - In fact...
我甚至没听你谈论过任何关于女孩的事 I've never heard you say anything about girls.
你...是喜欢女孩的 是吧? You... like girls, don't you?
当然 Sure.
是吗? 那你今天晚上一定要跟我一起来 So? Then you'll come with us
我们要和她一起去喝酒 After work tonight. We're taking her out for a drink.
我想我不行 我... I don't think I can. I...
不要找什么借口 SHOELESS JOE'S(酒吧名) 7:30 No excuses. SHOELESS Joe's. 7:30.
还有 弄一下你的头发 And... do something about your hair.
这是个圈套 It was a trap.
嘿 你看见那个穿红色短裤的人吗? Hey, see that number in the red shorts?
我想我就算练上100年 I could work out for 100 years
也练不成那个样子 And never look like that.
假装不喜欢她 Pretending she didn't like her,
只是为了套我的话 Just to see what I'd say.
Shawn Peters 几天前我和他一起回家 以为他是个很勇猛的1 Shawn Peters. I went home with him the other night, thinking he was this brutal top.
然后? And?
然后我就中计了！ And I fell for it!
结果他居然是个超娘娘腔的0 Turns out he's a big nelly bottom.
我本来能告诉你的 I could have told you that.
那可真让人泄气 It's so discouraging.
难道已经没有真正的男人了? Are there no real men left?
现在他们想要我去赴约 And now they're expecting me to meet them.
在Steroid City(健身房)? In steroid city?
不 在一个异性恋去的酒吧 No, in this straight bar.
你们在听吗? Is there anyone here listening?
你工作的地方有个女孩喜欢上你了 There's this new girl at work who's interested in you.
那个肥女人Marley把你骗过去见她的朋友们 还是在下班后 Fat Marley tricked you into meeting her and some of the others for a drink after work
而且你今晚一定要去 不然他们就怀疑你是同性恋 And now you have to g or they might suspect.
看那个胸肌男 Check out Mr. Pec-deck.
所以呢 So what...
她们会怎么做? If they do?
她们会炒你鱿鱼 They could fire him.
或者是我下半辈子就别想升迁了 Or I could end up an assistant manager for the rest of my life.
唯一的解决办法就是假装你喜欢那个女孩? And the solution is to pretend you like pussy?
哈 他可不像你 好吗? Look, he's not like you, okay?
你是什么意思? What is that supposed to mean?
意思是他看上去不像个同性恋 Meaning he's not an obviously gay man.
你是说我看上去很明显了? Are you accusing me of being obvious?
如果说"口交王"更合适的话 If the fuck-me pump fits...
听着 如果我愿意的话 我也可以装直男 Well, I could be a... a r-real man, if I wanted to.
只要把声音压底 You know, just lower my voice,
不做兰花指 Stop... gesturing with my hands,
表情不要太夸张 Make sure my face is expressionless.
绝对 绝对不用像... Never, never use words like...
像"妙极了哦" 或者"超口耐"之类的词 Like fabulous or divine,
然后说些 比如 Talk about, I don't know,
"好TMD个骚婊子" 或"触地得分"之类的话 Nailing bitches and RBIs.
但我宁愿我的火焰烧得亮亮的 But I'd rather my flame burn bright,
而不是什么暗弱的守夜灯 Than be some puny, little pilot light.
- 你的火焰真是"超口耐"哦 - 多谢 - And a fabulous flame it is. - Thank you.
但Michael活在外面那个异性恋的世界里 But Michael is out there in the straight world.
相信我 挺不容易 And believe me, it isn't easy.
去做你不得不做的事吧 You do what you have to do.
我想我该去换衣服了 I better go change.
为了那个重要的约会? For your big date?
OOH 这有一本运动杂志 Ooh, here's a sports mag.
你最好恶补一下 (Bone up亦指勃起, 諷刺直男看球賽也能硬) Better bone up.
免得话题万一从娱乐八卦改成体育赛事 Just in case the conversation veers away from Liza's in a weight problem.
Justin, 你听见了吗 我说了你不准去 Justin, did you hear me? I said you're not going.
我要去 I'm going.
你昨天晚上才去了她那 You were just there last night.
那又怎样? So what?
我本来打算今天带你 So, I was planning to take you
还有你妹妹出去吃比萨 and your sister out for pizza.
你... You...
我跟你说过收拾一下房间 You know, I expect you to clean up this mess.
我不明白为什么 I don't understand why you have to spend
你要成天和Daphne呆在一起 All your time with Daphne.
我和你爸给你买了那么多好看的衣服 Of all the beautiful clothes your father and I brought for you.
你却总是穿着那些不合身的衣服 You have to pick something that no longer fits.
它们太紧了 That is too tight.
所以我才穿 That's why.
Justin? Justin?
你不给我一个吻就走吗? Don't I get a kiss goodbye?
我等你电话 I expect you to call.
我们需要一个暗号 像"Shazam!" We need a secret code word like "Shazam".
Shazam:雷霆沙赞 1940年DC漫画中的超级英雄 只要大喊“Shazam!”就会变成超级英雄沙赞
在我难以“硬”付的时候 So that if I get in a tight spot,
我会叫你进来救我 You can come in and rescue me.
难以“硬”付 A tight spot.
那用“肛塞”如何? How about "Buttplug"?
“肛塞”这个词很难插入交谈中 "Buttplug" might be a little hard to work into a conversation.
因为你就是个“肛塞” 假装你是个直男 Because that's what you are, pretending you're one of them.
我没有法子 I couldn't help it.
你可以告诉她们事实 Oh, you could have told her the truth,
而不是像个被吓坏了的小娘炮 Instead of acting like a scared, little faggot.
你只需要说 "亲爱的 我只爱屁洞" You should have just said,"I take it up the ass, sweatheart.
- "你学着适应吧" - 好吧 好吧 - Deal with it." - Right. Right.
你还说我 我可发现你已经把吉普车重新喷漆了 By the way, I noticed you got the jeep repainted.
我去 这地方简直就像异性恋中心一样 Oh my god, this place is like, breeder central.
肛塞 肛塞 肛塞 肛~ Buttplug, butt- plug, buttplug, butt...
呆会见 Mikey See you, Mikey.
♪ Everything's gonna be fine
♪ Little darlin
♪ Little darlin mine
♪ A day or a lifetime
♪ It don't matter to me
♪ As long as you are by my side
Michael Michael! Michael Michael!
你去哪里了? 我们还以为你迷路了 Where you been? We thought you got lost.
有些事..嗯...急事 Some, uh, last- minute business.
过来坐 Slide it on in.
Harv 挪开你的毛屁股 Harv, move your hairy ass.
谢谢 Thanks.
你要喝点什么? What'll you have?
嗯...跟大家一样就可以了 Uh... same as everybody else.
好主意 Good choice.
嗯...再拿一大杯 Uh, bring over another pitcher.
嗨 Hi.
嗨 很高兴你来了 Hi. Glad you could make it.
我告诉过你他会来的 I told you he'd be here,
没错吧 别担心 Didn't I? Not to worry?
我没担心 I wasn't worried.
现在 在你堕入爱河之前 Now just make sure he's not seeing anyone,
先弄清他没有在和别人交往 Before you get all lovey-dovey.
Marley 你能不能闭上你的嘴 别管他们 Marley, would you shut up and leave 'em alone?
你还没有约会对象吧? You're not seeing anyone, are you?
我? Me?
- 没有 - 那挺好 - No. - Well, that's good.
我是说... I mean...
我懂 I understand.
你不想和已经有对象的人浪费时间 You don't want to get involved with someone if they're involved already.
那你呢? So are you?
问我有对象么? Seeing anyone?
没有 我刚分手 No. We just broke up.
噢 对不起 Oh. Sorry.
噢 不用道歉 他就是个呆子 Oh, don't be. He was a real doofus.
只是我当时不知道 Only I didn't know it at the time.
一开始有很多事你都不知道 There's so much you don't know at the time.
谁说不是呢 Isn't that the truth?
比如 你能相信吗 Like, can you believe, he...
他甚至不知道怎么修水管? He didn't even know how to fix a sink?
真是的! Really!
我工作的时候他给我来电话问“我该怎么办” He called me at work saying, "what should I do?"
我说"我不管你做什么 I said, "I don't care what you do.
买点水泥和塞子回来 Buy some cement. Get a cork.
用口香糖 给我塞住它 Used chewing gum. But plug it up!"
刚 塞 But plug it...
肛塞... Buttplug...
100万美元? A million dollars?
那是大致的想法 That's the general idea.
他妈的100万美元? A million fucking dollars?
Brian安静点 你吵醒孩子了 Brian, please. You'll wake the baby.
我的回答是 不 决不 Well, the answer's no. Definitely not.
我不明白你有什么问题 Huh, I don't understand the problem.
Lindsay告诉我你答应供养他的 I mean, Lindsay told me you offered to help support him.
他当时很大方地答应了 It was very generous.
这跟人身保险可不一样 Well that's different than a life insurance policy.
只不过以防万一你发生什么事 It's simply in case something happens to you.
就像被火车碾过我的头? Like I'm decapitated at a railroad crossing?
或者被煤气炸碎? Or burned beyond recognition in some gas explosion?
我可以想象你给我预想出的种种悲惨死法 You know, I can just imagine the grizzly deaths you've conjured up for me.
比如万一你生病了 (暗指性病) Like in case you get sick.
哼 那更好了 Ah. Even better.
想想你的生活 Considering your life.
我是说 你上次检查是什么时候? I mean, when's the last time you were tested?
半年前 Six months ago.
阴性 I was negative.
那就是说26个星期 That's 26 weeks
182次一夜情 And 182 one-night stands.
我很佩服你可以算的这么快 You know, I've always admired people who could multiply in their heads.
但我一直是安全的性行为 And I'm always careful.
听着 这不是为了我们 而是为了我们的儿子 Look, this isn't for us. It's for our son.
我们得保证他经济上有保障 We need to make sure he'll be provided for.
然后我就只需要进棺材就可以了 And all I have to do is die.
在那之前希望你不要死 Hopefully not before you sign these papers.
当我们对战巨人队的时候 We won't be laughing come superbowl time,
就谁也笑不出来了 When we're up against the titans.
我们一点机会都没有 We don't stand a chance.
不要那么说 Don't say that.
你要有必胜的信念不是吗 Mike You've got to believe, right, Mike?
Cher：雪儿 Cherilyn Sarkisian 美国女演员 流行歌手
就想Cher唱的一样! Like cher!
你看橄榄球赛吗? You watch football?
经常看啊 Constantly.
那... What do you think?
你有什么见解? What do I think?
我的见解? I think?
我觉得... I think...
要不是因为经纪约 Due to free agency,
我们错过了最好的球员 We've lost some of our best players.
但是 我们的防御仍然很坚强 Still, our defence is strong,
不过需要新战术 but we need a new scheme
充实我们的防线 From our defensive coordinator to move the ball.
那就是我想说的 That's just what I say.
Hello 我是体育狂 Hello, sports fans.
我来接你了 I'm coming to get you.
没事 我玩的很开心 It's okay. I'm having a really good time.
她真的很不错 She's really, really nice.
她很不错是吧 She's really nice?
一旦他们发现你是同性恋 Do you think she and her friends would be really nice
她和她的朋友还会对你这么好吗? If they knew the little charade you were playing?
他们没准会把你绑起来 They'd probably tie you to a fence
把你打的头破血流 And bash your brains in.
他们不会那么做的 They're not like that.
不会是吗? Not like that, huh?
听我说 Mikey Listen to me, Mikey.
你在听吗? Are you listening?
是的 我在听 Yeah, I'm listening.
这世上只有两种异性恋 There's only two kinds of straight people in this world;
一种当着你的面骂你 The ones that hate you to your face,
另一种在你背后厌恶你 And the ones that hate you behind your back.
现在就他妈的给我离开那里 Now get the fuck out of there...
因为我需要你 Because I need you.
♪ How I was gonna change, but I'm not
♪ If you keep doing things
♪ I don't you better think
Think!
♪ Think about what you're try to do to me
♪ Think!
Think!
♪ Let your mind go, let yourself be free
Oh, yeah~
嗨 Hi
卧槽 他怎么在这 Oh shit, just what I need.
他叫什么来着 What's-his-name.
Justin 他叫Justin Justin. His name's Justin.
我没上他都能记住他的名字 你怎么记不住 If I can remember it and I didn't even fuck him. Why can't you?
因为我上了 Because I did.
Dawson:美国1998年青春偶像剧 《Dawson's Creek》中的男主角
那么 Dawson 海那边的生活还不错吧?(Brian借此说Justin太幼齿) So, Dawson, how are things down at the creek?
谢谢 匹兹堡 Thank you, Pittsburgh.
我爱你们 I love you.
作为一个瘦弱的白人小男孩 You know, for a skinny white boy,
我他妈居然有黑人女歌手的音域 I make one fucking fabulous black woman!
下一轮酒我请如何? How about another round on me?
我有个更好的主意 我们走 I got a better idea. Let's move on.
这里有什么不好? What's wrong with here?
我和这里所有人都做过了 I've had everyone here.
啊 我也是 Yeah, my problem precisely.
你还没和我做过 You haven't had me.
哦~是吗? Oh yeah?
什么?!你 你从来没有告诉过我们 What? Y-you never told us.
这没啥好说的 There's nothing to tell.
当时我们在他房间里 We were up in his room.
那时我们大概14 15岁 We were 14, 15 tops.
我们本该在学习的 We were supposed to be studying, whatever,
但我们并没有 Only we're not.
我们在看他妈在美容院顺回来的无聊杂志 We're looking at this trashy photo mag his Mum swiped from the his Mum's beauty parlor.
总之 Anyway...
有一张Patrick Swayze在《辣身舞》中的剧照 There's this shot of Patrick Swayze from "dirty dancing"...
光着上身 Without his shirt on.
我只是看着就硬了 So I've got this hard-on just from looking at it,
当我看到Mikey 你们猜怎么着? And I glance over at Mikey, And guess what?
他也硬了 He's got one too.
好了 你可以停下来了 Okay, you can stop now.
两根硬东西 Twin stiffies.
我把手伸进去 I reach over,
开始摩挲它 Start rubbing it.
他很陶醉 He's practically swooning.
我把它拿出来 I pop it out,
开始抚摩它 Start stroking it,
温柔 缓慢地 Nice and slow.
我们都只差这么一点就要射了 And we're both this close.
然后... Then...
他妈妈没敲门就冲了进来 His Mum walks in without knocking.
家长总那样 They always do.
她看到了吗? Did she see you?
她怎么可能错过这么精彩的一幕 I don't see how she could have missed it.
我们都没有射 所以那次不能算 Only we didn't come, so it doesn't count.
哦~《辣身舞》 Oh, "Dirty Dancing."
那电影真是够老的 That's a really old movie.
你说什么? What?
我说那片子挺老的 I said that's a really old movie.
没你说的那么老 It's not that old.
你多大岁数了? How old are you?
你觉得我多大了 How old do you think I am?
33? 33?
滚蛋 Fuck you!
- 他才29 - 去你的吧 - He's 29. - And fuck you too.
- 你告诉他干什么? - 这下我们才扯平了 - What did you tell him for?- Fair's fair.
我们都知道那意味着什么 We all know what that means.
再过几个月 你就30了 In a few months, You'll be 30.
也是一只脚踏进棺材了 Might as well be dead.
哼 也只有你才知道 Well,You ought to know.
你已经躺进去了 You already are.
天 你不是吧 Oh no you don't.
你给我回来 Come back here.
你不能把那小子丢给我们 You're not sticking us with that kid.
那是你的责任, 现在给我回去 He's your responsibility. Now get back in there.
你听着 我受够了 You know, I'm getting a little sick
我受够了别人一再提醒我要负责 Of people telling me what's my responsibility.
如果Lindsay和Melanie想要个孩子 If Lindsay and Melanie want to go off and have a kid,
那是她们的责任 That's their responsibility.
还有那个什么Justin If what's-his-name-- Justin--
想在上高中的时候在街上钓男人 Wants to go out and pick up guys while he's still in high school.
那是他自己的事儿 That's his responsibility.
我只需要对我自己负责 My responsibility is to myself.
老子他妈的谁也不欠 I don't owe anybody a goddamn thing.
冷静点 Calm down!
好了 好了 It's okay. It's okay.
为什么大家都觉得我不像个好人？ And where do people get of think I'm not a kind person?
谁说的？ Who said that?
比如Ted 他就觉得我是个冷血的混蛋 Ted, for example, think I'm a heartless shit.
那只是表象 It's your appeal.
再说他只是嫉妒你 他孤独又... Plus, he's just jealous. And lonely and...
我人很好啊 I happen to be very kind.
还很有爱 Very loving.
嗨 Zack 最近怎么样？ Hi, Zack, how's it going?
还行吧 Not bad.
Peter还好吗？ How's Peter?
他死了又没法复活 Still dead.
卧槽 我忘了 Oh shit, I forgot.
如果再有人怀疑你是不是善良有爱的人 Well, if anyone has any doubts about how kind and loving you are...
这个例子可以说服他们了 That should convince them.
有人要去Babylon吗? Anyone up for Babylon?
我想去Boytoy I was thinking BoyToy.
我好几个星期没和正太玩了 You know, I haven't been snubbed by a twinkie in weeks.
那他怎么办? What about him?
他怎么了? What about him?
我们又不能把他扔在这里 Well, we can't just leave him here.
这又不是我们的包袱 It's not our problem.
难道是我的？ He's mine?
不 Brian才是你的包袱 No, Brian's your problem.
这次让他自己收拾自己的烂摊子吧 Let him clean up his own mess for a change.
别浪费自己宝贵的周末做保姆 Don't waste your friday night babysitting.
我跑了那么远只是为了找他 I come all the way here just to see him.
他却不想和我有一点瓜葛 He doesn't want anything to do with me.
好吧 关于Brian你必须知道的是... Yeah well, the thing you got to know about Brian is...
他不是你的男朋友 He's not your boyfriend.
Brian从来不交男朋友 Brian doesn't do boyfriends.
是吗 但是我们上床的时候你又不在 Yeah well, you weren't there when we were doing it.
你不知道我们做了什么 You don't know the things we did...
你不知道他怎么吻我 How he kissed me.
你什么都不知道 You don't know anything.
但我知道的是 I know this.
Brian是个自私的花花公子 Brian is a selfish prick
除了自己他谁也不在乎 Who doesn't care about anyone but himself.
如果我是你 我会马上忘了他 If i were you, I'd just forget about him.
嗨 小子们 还没钓到男人么? Hi'ya, boys. Gettin' any tonight?
我之前没见过你 I haven't seen you around here before.
他是新来的 He's new.
还挺可爱的 And cute.
今晚这里所有人都盯着你呢 甜心 Every guy in the place has his eye on you tonight, sweetheart.
我们可以点菜了吗? Can we order?
说吧（也有射的意思） Shoot.
我敢打赌今晚是他的第一次 不是吗? Bet it'll be the first time tonight, am I right?
哈哈 我想吃嫩鸡牛排堡 别加评价 Ha-ha. I'll have the chicken fried steak. No remarks.
还有...嗯... And,uh...
给他一个培根芝士漢堡 He'll have a bacon cheeseburger.
说"请" Please.
"请" Please.
你需要保持体力 小阳光 You gotta keep your strength up, sunshine.
你可不能空着肚子玩一个晚上 You can't cruise all night on an empty stomach.
她真是个怪大婶 What a freak!
是啊 你需要一点时间去适应她 Yeah, she takes some getting used to,
不过一旦适应了 就会忍不住爱上她的 But once you do, can't help but love her.
一份嫩鸡牛排堡不加料 One chicken fried steak with no remarks,
马上就来 Coming up in a flash.
多谢 妈妈 Thanks, Mum.
当然 宝贝 You're welcome, baby.
你真的好幸运 You're, like, so lucky.
- 我吗? - 你妈妈一点都不在乎你是同性恋 - I am? - Your Mums cool about you being gay.
如果我妈妈知道 她会杀了我的 If mine found out, she'd kill me.
至少这让她生活有方向 At least it gives her a sense of purpose.
没有我的话她可能会正在玩Bingo(赌博游戏) I mean, without me she'd be playing bingo
而不是组织同性恋游行 Instead of organizing pride marches and...
分发保险套 Handing out condoms.
你要搭我的车吗? Do you need a ride?
嗯...我从朋友那借了一辆车 Uh, I borrowed a friend's car.
你连一辆自己的车都没有吗? Oh, you don't have a little beemer of your own?
我正在努力赚一辆 I'm working on it.
关于Brian 记住我说的 Just remember what I told you about brian.
如果他真像你说的是个自私鬼 If he's such a selfish prick,
那你为什么总在他身边绕来绕去? How come you're always following him around?
我没有总在他身边绕来绕去 I'm not always following him around.
我们是最好的朋友 We're best friends.
我们接受彼此的生活方式 We accept each other for who we are,
不评判 没义务 不多问 No judgements, no obligations, no questions asked.
你只是在等他帮你做完(被Debbie打断的那次) You're just waiting for him to finish jerking you off.
- 什么? - 你们没射出来 - What? - You never got off.
那就是为什么你在他身边转了这么多年 That's why you're still hanging
走开 小鸡仔 回你的鸡窝去 And don't go looking for him. It'll just make things worse.
还有别再找他了 那只会让一切越来越遭 And don't go looking for him. It'll just make things worse.
准备好了吗 亲爱的 Ready, sweety?
他走了吗? Did he take off?
那也好 Just as well.
他对你来说太小了 He was a little too young for you.
我要邀请我堂姐Rita吗? Should I invite my cousin Rita?
谁？ Which one's she?
那个有暴牙的 The one with the, uh, overbite
一直不赞成我们在一起的 Who never approved of us
她啊 Oh, her.
想请就请吧 估计请了她也不会来 Might as well. She probably won't come anyway.
哦~好孩子 Oh... that's my good boy.
真是有趣 You know, it's funny.
我曾经见过女人们给孩子喂奶 I used to see these women feeding their kids,
我总是觉得 啊...真让人扫”性“ And I'd think, "ugh, what a turn-off."
但是看着你 But watching you...
真是太美了 It's beautiful.
这种和婴儿之间情感的交流简直难以置信 You can't believe how connected you feel.
晚安 亲爱的 Good night, sweetie.
下次 我们可以一起喂他 Next time, we'll feed him together.
你可以用我的乳房喂他 You can give him my breast.
好丰满啊 It's so full.
我想现在我们只能做到这了 I guess that's all we can do for now.
哦 34个客人可真不少 Oh, 34 guests. that's a lot.
不一定所有人都会来 Not everyone will show.
我希望特别是那个人来不了 Well, let's hope one in particular doesn't.
我希望我们对他不算太刻薄 I hope we weren't too hard on him.
谁? Brian? Who? Brian?
那天关于保险的事 All that talk about the insurance.
听起来好象我们希望他出什么意外一样 It almost sounded like we were hoping something might happen to him.
我们只是比较现实 We're just being practical.
我是说 他是孩子的父亲不是吗? I mean, he's the father, isn't he?
让他儿子成为保险受益人这也没错 It only makes sense that his son should be his beneficiary.
你的鸡巴真的有25cm 还是通过修图加长了？
我只是说 也许我们应该等他缓过神来 I'm just saying maybe we should have waited until he was over the initial shock.
缓什么神？你才是那个生孩子的人 What shock? You're the one who gave birth.
他所做的只是在最后露一下面 All he did was show up with his latest trick.
至少他露面了 At least he showed up.
天哪 你总能让我吃惊… Christ, it never ceases to amaze me.
- 什么？- 你怎么能忍得了他 - What? - The way you put up with his shit.
- 我没有要容忍他 - 才怪! - I don't put up with it. - Like hell.
我能....理解他 I understand it... him.
理解什么? 他只是个比他儿子大点的臭小子? - What? - That he's a bigger infant than his son?
他只是做他自己想做的事 That he does exactly what he wants.
不找借口 从不道歉 No excuses, no apologies.
我一直很羡慕他可以那样 I've always admired him for that.
噢 所以你才能忍得了他 Well, then you can put up with it.
我可没那个必要 I don't have to.
我们还是继续睡觉吧 Come on, let's go back to sleep...
睡一个小时 For an hour.
很好 Yes.
你送我到家以后就要去钓别人吗? So, you going out cruising after you drop me off?
不 他们要我一起去参加通宵派对 No. I've been invited to an all-night orgy.
哇哦~听起来很不错啊 Whoo! Sounds hot.
其实 我是回自己的Gay公寓 If you must know, I am going back to my gay apartment,
脱下我的Gay衣服 Taking off my gay clothes,
然后躺在我的Gay床上 And getting into my gay bed.
你听起来不怎么高兴啊 You're in a mood.
都怪该死的Brian It's goddamn Brian.
他这次又做了什么? What did he do this time?
算了 Never mind.
我不希望他影响到你 I wish you wouldn't let him get to you.
但他总能影响到你 But he always does.
所以我总是希望你能碰上另一半 That's why I keep hoping that you'll meet somebody.
为什么灯都是开的? Why are all the lights on?
Vic肯定出事了 Something must be wrong with Vic.
Vic! Vic!
宝贝? Baby?
你还好吗? Is everything all right?
只是睡不着而已 Just couldn't sleep.
- 嘿 Mikey - Vic叔叔 - Mikey. - Uncle Vic.
你哪里痛吗? Are you in pain?
- 是的 - 哪里? 告诉我 - Yeah. - Where? Tell me.
我的钱包 My wallet.
卧槽! Holy shit!
怎么了? What is it?
这是我们去意大利的...信用卡账单 It's the Master Card bill from our...our trip to Italy.
头等舱机票 First-class airline tickets,
罗马怡东酒店 The Excelsior in Rome,
我在Capri给你买的钻石和珊瑚耳环 The diamond and coral earrings I bought you in Capri.
它们都在这里 They're all here.
问题是 我也在这(还没死) The problem is, so am I.
不要那么说 Don't say that.
你还活着就已经是个奇迹了 It's a miracle you're still alive.
我要是能付清这些也算奇迹了 It's a miracle how I'm gonna pay for all of this.
去卖身吧 Hustle?
♪ It's you, you, you again
♪ Dreamy crush with the sun coming up
♪ Glance look stare stake in my heart. OH~
♪ It beats so fast, so fast it stops
♪ I think we jam like jell
♪ Jelly baby
♪ Come on make it happen
♪ Peach malibu
Patrick Swayze太帅了 Patrick swayze is so hot.
♪ Peach malibu
♪ Empty your vessel for me
♪ Cause we travel together on bus 43
我想我们要照顾一下它了 I guess I'll have to take care of that.
♪ Empty your vessel for me
♪ Cause we travel is happen on bus 43
Patrick Swayze太帅了 Patrick swayze is so hot.
《辣身舞》我已经看了五遍了 I've seen "dirty dancing", like, five times.
为了操他我什么都愿意做 What I wouldn't give to fuck him.
别那么说 Brian Don't say that, Brian.
你太可怜了 You're so pathetic.
首先我会拉开他的拉链 First I'd unzip his fly.
掏出他巨大的老二 Then I'd pull out his king-sized boner.
非常缓慢地抚弄它 Play with it, real slow.
OH 是吗? Oh,yeah?
嘿 Mikey Hey, Mikey...
你硬了唉 You have a woodie.
我没有 I do not.
你当然有 You do too.
我们得为它做点什么了 We'll have to do something about that.
♪ Glance look stare stake in my heart. OH~
♪ It beats so fast, so fast it stops
嗨, 宝贝 Hi, babe.
妈! 你就不能先敲门吗！ Ma! Can't you knock?
我忘了告诉你 我要在园子里弄个跳蚤市场 I forgot to tell you we're having a yard sale,
如果你有什么想扔掉的东西... So if you want to throw anything out...
哦~别告诉我你还迷恋他 Oh, don't tell me you still have a crush on him.
谁都想和你做 I'd fuck you.
顶层 上来吧 Top floor. Come on up.
- 天啊! - 对不起 我不是想... - Christ! - I'm sorry. I-I don't want to...
你来之前就不能说一声吗 You can't just drop by unannounced.
我只是想和你谈谈 I just want to talk.
我们没有什么好谈的 There's nothing to talk about.
求你了 我不会待很久的 我... Please? I won't stay long. I...
- 我只是想...可以吗? - 不行 - I'll just... can I? - No.
我靠 Oh, shit.
门就要关了 所以我 The door was about to shut so I...
溜进来 Slipped in.
顶层 不错嘛 Penthouse. Not bad.
- 他是谁? - 谁都不是 - Who's this？-No one.
我想见你一面 I have to see you.
我很忙 I'm busy.
我不介意3P I don't mind a threesome,
虽然他看起来有点小 Although he's kind of young.
他马上就要走了 He's also kind of leaving.
他是谁? Who's he?
对不起 忘了介绍 Forgive me for not introducing you.
Justin 这是“很能干”先生 Justin, this is Mr. Goodfuck.
“很能干”先生 请允许我隆重介绍 Justin Mr. Goodfuk, may I present Justin.
我叫George Name is George.
抱歉 Sorry
乔治 · 很能干 George Goodfuk.
你甚至不认识他 You don't even know him.
我正想认识他 Well, I was hoping to get to.
你为什么不滚回家去? Now why don't you just scamper on home?
他是我的跟踪狂 He's my stalker.
那样不太好吧 That wasn't very kind,
让他那么小的孩子一个人走 Sending him off, a kid that age,
这么晚很危险的 By himself at this time of night.
你是谁? “很能干”神父? Who are you? Father Goodfuk?
啊...行吧 Oh, all right.
你自便 Make yourself comfortable.
还有...别偷东西 And don't... steal anything.
我刚刚把一个完全不认识的人丢在我家里 I just left a complete stranger alone in my apartment
跑过来跟你谈谈 To come and talk to you,
所以你就别跑了 So don't run away from me.
我们要把事情说清楚 We need to get something straight.
你从来不找男朋友 You don't do boyfriends.
哦 看来Mikey已经告诉你了 Oh. Mikey's been talking to you.
你见人就上 You'll fuck anyone.
他那么丑 你甚至对他一无所知 He's ugly. You don't even know him.
- 我...我以为... - Justin - And I... I really thoug... - Justin.
我和你做过了 I've had you.
那是昨天的事 What happened last night...
只是找个乐子而已 It was for fun.
你想要我 而我也想要你 You wanted me and I wanted you.
不过如此 That's all it was.
只是性交? A fuck?
你认为是什么? Well what did you think it was?
听着 我从来不相信什么爱情 Look, I don't believe in love.
我只相信性爱 I believe in fucking.
直接 有效 It's honest. It's efficient.
一进一出就可以获得最大快感 You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure
而且不用废话 And a minimum of bullshit.
爱情是异性恋自欺欺人 Love is something that straight people
不过是为了上床找的借口 Tell themselves they're in so they can get laid,
而最后他们会在相互伤害中结束 And then they end up hurting each other,
因为从一开始就是建立在谎言上的 Because it was all based on lies to begin with.
如果那是你想要的 If that's what you want,
那就去找一个漂亮的小姑娘 Then go and find yourself a pretty, little girl...
然后结婚 And get married.
那不是我想要的 That's not what I want.
我只想要你 I want you.
你不能拥有我 我太老... You can't have me. I'm too o...
你对我来说太小了 You're too young for me.
你才17 我已经28了 You're 17. I'm 28.
29了 29.
好吧 29 All right. 29.
那更没理由在一起了 All the more reason.
现在回家写作业去吧 Now go do your homework.
♪ If I could lay me down now
♪ If I could pray and sleep
♪ The night never ending
♪ My weary soul to keep
♪ If I could lay me down now
♪ In a dream asleep