1
00:00:01,010 --> 00:00:03,198
Anything less than 40%
and we walk.
2
00:00:03,315 --> 00:00:05,887
Mmm.
Wow, this is good coffee.
3
00:00:05,977 --> 00:00:07,999
Look at you--
stay-at-home dad,
4
00:00:08,083 --> 00:00:09,656
just sit around
on your ass all day
5
00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,223
while your wife works
to support you.
6
00:00:11,324 --> 00:00:13,031
Must be quite a blow
to your manhood.
7
00:00:13,112 --> 00:00:15,136
All this lounging is awful.
I'm miserable.
8
00:00:15,171 --> 00:00:16,938
But you enjoy work today.
9
00:00:16,972 --> 00:00:18,706
You know what you don't realize?
10
00:00:18,741 --> 00:00:21,509
To make me happy, you need to
keep your ass out of my way.
11
00:00:21,544 --> 00:00:24,212
Hoo!
I don't envy that guy.
12
00:00:24,246 --> 00:00:26,114
I'm talking to you now, babe.
13
00:00:26,148 --> 00:00:28,149
- Get your ass out of my chair!
- Oh!
14
00:00:31,287 --> 00:00:34,689
Mmm. Coffee.
15
00:00:34,723 --> 00:00:37,107
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
16
00:00:37,183 --> 00:00:39,588
_
17
00:00:40,029 --> 00:00:42,330
I don't wanna go to court
on this, but I will.
18
00:00:42,365 --> 00:00:45,934
And if I do, you will regret it.
19
00:00:47,370 --> 00:00:48,937
Wine me, dime eyes.
20
00:00:48,971 --> 00:00:50,138
You just waved me off.
21
00:00:50,172 --> 00:00:51,506
Didn't you see the glasses?
22
00:00:51,540 --> 00:00:53,174
That was Work Ellie.
She's all about business.
23
00:00:53,209 --> 00:00:56,644
This is Hang Ellie.
She's all about party time.
24
00:00:56,679 --> 00:00:59,481
You know, I forgot how hectic
a law firm can be.
25
00:00:59,515 --> 00:01:01,015
I'm so glad you never work
26
00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:03,051
so I have someone
to lunch drink with.
27
00:01:03,085 --> 00:01:04,386
Hey, I work.
28
00:01:04,420 --> 00:01:07,155
Like today,
I was swimming in paperwork.
29
00:01:07,189 --> 00:01:10,191
Sounds conveniently nonspecific.
30
00:01:10,226 --> 00:01:11,593
Tell me more.
31
00:01:11,627 --> 00:01:13,628
Hey, dad. Where you going?
32
00:01:13,662 --> 00:01:16,197
Oh, nowhere, really.
I'm just gonna walk downtown.
33
00:01:16,232 --> 00:01:17,599
By yourself?
You want me to come?
34
00:01:17,633 --> 00:01:19,601
We'll get some fro-yo,
maybe see a movie.
35
00:01:19,635 --> 00:01:22,070
Nah. I'm sure you've got
a lot of work to do.
36
00:01:22,104 --> 00:01:24,639
Tons. I'm practically
swimming in paperwork over here.
37
00:01:24,673 --> 00:01:26,174
Shut up.
38
00:01:26,208 --> 00:01:28,376
All right. Well, uh, see ya.
39
00:01:32,511 --> 00:01:34,679
- Does my dad look lonely?
- Yep.
40
00:01:34,714 --> 00:01:37,415
Nope. He sounded like he wanted
to get out of this house.
41
00:01:37,450 --> 00:01:39,017
He's very smart.
42
00:01:39,051 --> 00:01:42,153
Man, this mobile wine business
is stressful.
43
00:01:42,188 --> 00:01:43,521
I just got
a cease and desist letter
44
00:01:43,556 --> 00:01:45,123
from a wine shop owner saying
45
00:01:45,157 --> 00:01:47,459
I'm "Infringing
on the parameters
46
00:01:47,493 --> 00:01:50,495
of established
commercial boundaries"?
47
00:01:52,365 --> 00:01:53,565
All right, let me see.
48
00:01:55,401 --> 00:01:58,203
This is just a scare tactic.
49
00:01:58,237 --> 00:02:01,106
Come on.
I'll destroy this loser.
50
00:02:01,140 --> 00:02:02,307
Great. Thanks.
51
00:02:02,341 --> 00:02:03,708
It's pretty cool
52
00:02:03,743 --> 00:02:05,443
how she can just turn that
on and off like that.
53
00:02:05,478 --> 00:02:07,612
Wow. Wonder if I could.
54
00:02:07,646 --> 00:02:10,115
"I'm regular Jules.
I'm happy."
55
00:02:12,051 --> 00:02:15,620
"Ugh!
I'm swimming in paperwork!"
56
00:02:15,654 --> 00:02:17,322
- Whose glasses are those?
- My dad's.
57
00:02:18,591 --> 00:02:21,259
I can see into the future.
58
00:02:21,293 --> 00:02:23,561
I didn't know you and Stan
came to this park.
59
00:02:23,596 --> 00:02:26,965
Yeah. I need him to burn off
a little extra energy.
60
00:02:26,999 --> 00:02:28,366
You know, for the longest time,
61
00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:30,235
I thought of parks as just
a place people went to get
62
00:02:30,269 --> 00:02:33,104
midnight sandbox b-jammers
and score drugs.
63
00:02:33,139 --> 00:02:35,206
I totally forgot
they were for kids.
64
00:02:35,241 --> 00:02:37,232
Hey, Stan,
get out of the sandbox!
65
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:39,702
Andy, why are you over
here by yourself?
66
00:02:39,737 --> 00:02:41,344
Why aren't you hanging
with other parents?
67
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,513
It'd be weird.
I don't know anyone.
68
00:02:43,547 --> 00:02:45,415
What about those moms
over there?
69
00:02:45,449 --> 00:02:48,584
Those are the Leahs.
They're all named Leah.
70
00:02:48,619 --> 00:02:51,254
Except for Becca and Lynn.
71
00:02:51,288 --> 00:02:53,890
Oh, man, they got class
and style and buns to die for,
72
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,526
and they do cool stuff
like go to art galleries
73
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,195
and spin class
and drink mojitos.
74
00:02:59,229 --> 00:03:01,664
Someone's got a chub
for the mom club.
75
00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:03,599
Don't be ridicu-Leah.
76
00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:07,437
That is actually a genius name
for a female rapper.
77
00:03:07,471 --> 00:03:09,205
♪ What's up, y'all?
I'm Ridicu-Leah. ♪
78
00:03:09,239 --> 00:03:12,241
♪ I drop more rhymes than... ♪
79
00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:13,843
♪ gonorrhea ♪
80
00:03:13,877 --> 00:03:15,645
I don't know.
Rap is really hard.
81
00:03:15,679 --> 00:03:18,648
Seeing my dad look lonely
makes me realize
82
00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:21,784
how good people are in pairs.
83
00:03:21,819 --> 00:03:23,352
Feels like I'm about to hear
84
00:03:23,387 --> 00:03:24,821
your latest,
totally unnecessary obsession.
85
00:03:24,855 --> 00:03:26,422
My dad needs a best buddy.
86
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:27,924
And there it is.
87
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,226
Look, Jules, not everybody needs
to have people around
88
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:31,894
- all the time.
- Yes, they do.
89
00:03:31,929 --> 00:03:34,864
Everyone does,
except for maybe serial killers.
90
00:03:34,898 --> 00:03:38,267
But they have people around
for a while... till they don't.
91
00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:39,735
But then they find someone new.
92
00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:42,371
- Oh, you get my point.
- That serial killers need pals?
93
00:03:42,406 --> 00:03:44,240
No, that my dad needs
a best buddy.
94
00:03:44,274 --> 00:03:45,708
But it can't be me
95
00:03:45,742 --> 00:03:47,710
because then he'd think
I just feel sorry for him.
96
00:03:47,744 --> 00:03:50,646
It's gotta be a guy, someone--
someone I can trust.
97
00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:53,683
Someone nice, but not too nice.
My dad hates that.
98
00:03:53,717 --> 00:03:57,453
Oh, someone who likes sports
and beer...
99
00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:58,754
Nope.
100
00:03:58,789 --> 00:04:00,490
I'm not gonna be
Chick's best buddy.
101
00:04:00,524 --> 00:04:01,824
I'll be best friends
with your dad.
102
00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:03,693
- My dad's still dead.
- I know a psychic.
103
00:04:03,727 --> 00:04:06,762
Chick is great, okay,
but he's also cranky and gassy
104
00:04:06,797 --> 00:04:08,664
and 74 years old.
105
00:04:08,699 --> 00:04:09,932
And I love him, but we're never
gonna be super pals
106
00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:12,668
who go out for fro-yo
on a tandem bike.
107
00:04:12,703 --> 00:04:13,870
Mm.
108
00:04:13,904 --> 00:04:15,805
You just heard "tandem bike,"
huh?
109
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,007
Ohh, you'd be so cute together.
110
00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,910
Thanks for destroying
that wine shop guy for me.
111
00:04:20,944 --> 00:04:23,880
By the end, he looked so sad
and defeated.
112
00:04:23,914 --> 00:04:26,382
I love making people
look like that.
113
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:30,853
Here's a sentence
I've never said before--
114
00:04:30,888 --> 00:04:32,655
this is a nice van.
115
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,758
I know.
It's comfortable, quiet.
116
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,894
Something about a moving car,
just...
117
00:04:37,928 --> 00:04:40,863
the subtle, repetitive
"bump-bump, bump-bump"
118
00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:44,467
of the road puts me at ease.
119
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:49,105
It's like you could open up
and share anything with anyone.
120
00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:51,641
I'm overly aggressive at work
121
00:04:51,675 --> 00:04:53,509
because secretly
I'm afraid I'll fail.
122
00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,877
I started a business to prove
123
00:04:54,912 --> 00:04:56,579
I can do something
without my mom.
124
00:04:58,515 --> 00:04:59,925
Did you see that?
125
00:04:59,926 --> 00:05:03,539
Leah just made a kale smoothie
with a portable blender. Aw!
126
00:05:03,777 --> 00:05:05,477
If you're so into them,
127
00:05:05,512 --> 00:05:07,780
why don't you just
go hang out with them?
128
00:05:07,814 --> 00:05:11,016
Me. With them. If only.
129
00:05:11,051 --> 00:05:15,788
Just go up and say hi
with energy and confidence
130
00:05:15,822 --> 00:05:17,322
and you show 'em
your big personality.
131
00:05:17,357 --> 00:05:18,624
Come on!
132
00:05:19,959 --> 00:05:21,860
- I can do that. All right.
- Yeah.
133
00:05:21,895 --> 00:05:24,363
- I'm going over.
- Okay.
134
00:05:25,598 --> 00:05:26,832
Hey, guys! How you doing?
My name's Andy.
135
00:05:26,866 --> 00:05:28,333
Uhh!
136
00:05:28,368 --> 00:05:29,735
All right. Oh!
137
00:05:29,769 --> 00:05:31,537
Oh, honey, no.
138
00:05:31,571 --> 00:05:34,473
Sweetie, I'm sorry.
139
00:05:34,507 --> 00:05:36,642
- That was--
- Humiliating.
140
00:05:36,676 --> 00:05:39,712
I tripped and fell
and knocked over their pitcher
141
00:05:39,746 --> 00:05:43,882
of lemon and mint-infused water
that helps reduce belly fat.
142
00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:46,652
It was so, so, so brutal...
143
00:05:46,686 --> 00:05:48,087
until they helped me up
144
00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:50,522
and invited me to go
power shopping with them!
145
00:05:50,557 --> 00:05:52,825
- What's power shopping?
- I don't know, but I'm invited!
146
00:05:52,859 --> 00:05:54,993
- Yay!
- Yay!
147
00:05:55,028 --> 00:05:56,395
Are they watching us now?
148
00:05:56,429 --> 00:05:58,397
Yeah, and they look
a little confused.
149
00:05:58,431 --> 00:06:00,466
Pretend this is part
of our workout. And go!
150
00:06:02,402 --> 00:06:04,470
I'm so glad you're coming
to dinner with us, dad.
151
00:06:04,504 --> 00:06:05,871
If their dessert tray
looks good,
152
00:06:05,905 --> 00:06:07,406
I'm saying it's my birthday.
153
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,641
Play along.
154
00:06:09,676 --> 00:06:11,877
This is nice. I don't mind
three of us going out.
155
00:06:11,911 --> 00:06:15,114
That's great.
Three people is perfect.
156
00:06:15,148 --> 00:06:18,083
Okay, let's see what they got.
157
00:06:20,754 --> 00:06:22,054
Oh! Excuse me.
158
00:06:23,490 --> 00:06:25,924
Yes, hi, this is Jules Cobb.
159
00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,760
Oh, what's that?
160
00:06:27,794 --> 00:06:30,596
A real estate emergency?
161
00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:33,031
- I'm on my way.
- Seriously?
162
00:06:33,066 --> 00:06:34,867
You guys are gonna have to have
an amazing time without me.
163
00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:36,135
Sorry.
164
00:06:36,169 --> 00:06:38,470
Wow. That is an emergency.
165
00:06:38,505 --> 00:06:40,639
Yes, this is gonna take hours
to fix!
166
00:06:40,673 --> 00:06:43,509
Now when the waiters sing
"Happy Birthday" to me,
167
00:06:43,543 --> 00:06:46,078
need you to join in, big.
168
00:06:48,539 --> 00:06:52,107
Uh, oh. When you get nervous
you break out Big Chuck,
169
00:06:52,141 --> 00:06:54,776
but when you get so nervous
you think you might break
170
00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:56,444
Big Chuck, you improvise.
171
00:06:56,446 --> 00:06:59,014
Well, I planned a dinner
for me, Grayson, and my dad.
172
00:06:59,048 --> 00:07:00,782
- Oh, nice.
- But then I faked a work emergency
173
00:07:00,816 --> 00:07:02,951
so they could have a man-date
together.
174
00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:05,453
And I just know Grayson's gonna
be really mad.
175
00:07:05,488 --> 00:07:07,455
Setups never end well.
You should know that.
176
00:07:07,490 --> 00:07:08,757
One time, I tried to set up
177
00:07:08,791 --> 00:07:10,425
my bunkmate
from my first stint in juvie
178
00:07:10,459 --> 00:07:11,826
on a coffee date
179
00:07:11,861 --> 00:07:13,662
with my bunkmate
from my third stint in juvie.
180
00:07:13,696 --> 00:07:15,063
I thought they'd really
get along.
181
00:07:15,097 --> 00:07:18,366
Both from Tampa. Both impulsive.
Both love fire.
182
00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:19,868
Long story short,
183
00:07:19,902 --> 00:07:21,670
that coffee shop no longer exists.
184
00:07:21,704 --> 00:07:24,506
I regret
pulling the birthday stunt
185
00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:26,441
on two different waiters.
186
00:07:26,475 --> 00:07:29,524
That is an excessive amount
of flan.
187
00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,459
Good night.
188
00:07:32,763 --> 00:07:34,129
So how was dinner?
189
00:07:39,069 --> 00:07:41,136
And besides the hat,
it was good?
190
00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:42,771
When you ran out--
191
00:07:42,806 --> 00:07:44,606
on the worst fake phone call
I've ever heard--
192
00:07:44,641 --> 00:07:48,176
I was so mad,
I almost ordered a burrito.
193
00:07:48,211 --> 00:07:50,745
I would never take in that many
carbs unless I was rage eating.
194
00:07:50,781 --> 00:07:51,980
Of course.
195
00:07:52,015 --> 00:07:53,681
Mm, I could not have been
more angry,
196
00:07:53,717 --> 00:07:55,049
but then--
197
00:07:55,085 --> 00:07:56,684
there's a "But then"?
What's the "But then"?
198
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,086
Chick told a joke
about you being Curious George.
199
00:07:58,121 --> 00:07:59,954
You know, the ears.
200
00:07:59,990 --> 00:08:03,024
Well, then Chick and I laughed
and started to talk and had fun.
201
00:08:03,059 --> 00:08:04,993
We actually made plans
for tomorrow.
202
00:08:05,028 --> 00:08:06,594
They're best friends!
I knew it!
203
00:08:06,630 --> 00:08:07,996
I'm the smartest person
in the world!
204
00:08:08,031 --> 00:08:09,431
I'm the smartest person
in the world!
205
00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:10,865
Aah!
206
00:08:10,901 --> 00:08:12,434
Wasn't Big Chuck.
207
00:08:12,469 --> 00:08:14,569
I really am the smartest person
in the world.
208
00:08:14,604 --> 00:08:17,005
- Hello, Jelly.
- Oh, hi.
209
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,807
Whenever I see you
without your baby,
210
00:08:18,842 --> 00:08:21,476
I feel like it's my duty to
remind you that you have a child
211
00:08:21,511 --> 00:08:24,145
in case you've left it
someplace.
212
00:08:24,181 --> 00:08:25,680
Yes.
213
00:08:25,715 --> 00:08:27,882
He is definitely with Jules.
214
00:08:27,918 --> 00:08:30,485
Oh, hey, Trav. How's it going?
215
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,487
- Ellie, hey.
- Okay, that's weird.
216
00:08:32,522 --> 00:08:36,491
Take a load off, ladies.
I'll take care of the mojitos.
217
00:08:36,526 --> 00:08:38,827
There's my Trophy Wife!
218
00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:40,662
Five mojos, mofo.
219
00:08:40,697 --> 00:08:43,064
These girls know all the gossip
of what's going on in town--
220
00:08:43,099 --> 00:08:44,833
who's hooking up with who,
221
00:08:44,868 --> 00:08:48,837
what well-known t-ball coach
is on the downlow...
222
00:08:48,872 --> 00:08:50,638
Jake Morton.
Can you believe it?!
223
00:08:52,943 --> 00:08:54,542
I'm supposed to be
in court today,
224
00:08:54,578 --> 00:08:56,611
but I got a ride here.
225
00:08:56,646 --> 00:09:00,648
Oh. Well, I can give you a ride.
I mean, if you want.
226
00:09:00,684 --> 00:09:02,817
- Totally. Let's go for it.
- All right, see you, guys.
227
00:09:02,853 --> 00:09:06,554
I'm gonna hang here and watch
Andy turn into a Lulu mom.
228
00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:09,991
I put up walls 'cause I find it
easier than being vulnerable.
229
00:09:10,026 --> 00:09:11,893
The times I act
sarcastic and indifferent
230
00:09:11,928 --> 00:09:15,129
are just when I fear I have
nothing of value to offer.
231
00:09:18,935 --> 00:09:21,102
Okay. Courthouse.
232
00:09:21,137 --> 00:09:23,204
Wait. I got my dates confused.
233
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,707
I actually
don't have court today.
234
00:09:25,742 --> 00:09:28,076
- Really?
- I'm such a goof sometimes.
235
00:09:28,111 --> 00:09:29,511
No, don't worry about it.
236
00:09:29,546 --> 00:09:32,113
I mean, no one is goofier
than me.
237
00:09:34,784 --> 00:09:37,118
Well, I guess I'll just...
take you home?
238
00:09:37,153 --> 00:09:39,120
If it's easier,
I could, you know,
239
00:09:39,155 --> 00:09:42,257
ride around on your work stops
with you.
240
00:09:42,292 --> 00:09:45,126
Great. I mean,
if that's cool with you?
241
00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:46,895
Totally, if it's cool with you.
242
00:09:46,930 --> 00:09:48,630
Yeah.
243
00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:51,966
I sneak butter into Andy's food
244
00:09:52,002 --> 00:09:54,769
because his husky look
turns me on.
245
00:09:56,573 --> 00:09:58,139
Two years ago, I was catfished
246
00:09:58,174 --> 00:09:59,908
by a 47-year-old man
on the internet.
247
00:10:01,311 --> 00:10:02,810
It happens.
248
00:10:02,846 --> 00:10:05,013
Hey.
249
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:08,283
Jules, relax, okay?
250
00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:11,553
You look like a 3-year-old
who has to go to the bathroom.
251
00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:13,988
I'm just excited that
you and my dad are hanging out.
252
00:10:14,024 --> 00:10:15,323
And yes, I also have to pee.
253
00:10:15,358 --> 00:10:17,125
It's no big deal.
We're just going fishing.
254
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,927
My dad hardly ever
takes anyone fishing.
255
00:10:18,962 --> 00:10:21,162
My cousin Grits
once pulled him out of the path
256
00:10:21,197 --> 00:10:23,097
of a speeding car
and saved his life.
257
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:25,967
But did he take him fishing?
Yes, he did.
258
00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:28,002
Ooh, that didn't support
my point.
259
00:10:28,038 --> 00:10:31,606
Okay, son, let's hit the lake.
260
00:10:31,641 --> 00:10:34,342
Jeez, J-Bird,
hit the can already.
261
00:10:34,377 --> 00:10:36,644
I don't wanna miss
you guys leaving!
262
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,646
- Ooh! Let's pose for a picture.
- You don't have a camera.
263
00:10:38,682 --> 00:10:40,348
I'll do it with my eyes.
264
00:10:40,383 --> 00:10:42,917
Ready? And smile.
265
00:10:42,953 --> 00:10:44,752
Ooh, that's a good one.
266
00:10:44,788 --> 00:10:47,055
I really need to stop enabling
stuff like that.
267
00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:48,323
Bye!
268
00:10:48,358 --> 00:10:49,824
Wow!
269
00:10:49,859 --> 00:10:51,259
I am an awesome matchmaker.
270
00:10:51,294 --> 00:10:54,696
Right now, Chick and Grayson
are fishing,
271
00:10:54,731 --> 00:10:58,099
being best buds,
talking about...
272
00:10:58,134 --> 00:10:59,667
Wait. What do guys
talk about?
273
00:10:59,703 --> 00:11:02,236
I think nicknames
for their penises, mostly.
274
00:11:02,272 --> 00:11:03,938
Wow. Guys are stupid.
275
00:11:03,974 --> 00:11:05,840
Ooh! Speaking of
amazing matchmaking skills,
276
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,910
check out my handiwork.
Waabam!
277
00:11:08,945 --> 00:11:11,245
♪ drop it low, low,
drop it low ♪
278
00:11:11,281 --> 00:11:14,282
♪ drop, drop it low,
drop it low ♪
279
00:11:14,317 --> 00:11:17,619
♪ drop it low, low, drop it low,
drop it low ♪
280
00:11:17,654 --> 00:11:20,154
That is some impressive
choreographed walking.
281
00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:22,223
Do you think
they practice that?
282
00:11:22,258 --> 00:11:23,858
Oh, hey, guys.
283
00:11:23,893 --> 00:11:26,995
Just out power shopping,
which, it turns out,
284
00:11:27,030 --> 00:11:29,030
is power walking plus shopping.
285
00:11:29,065 --> 00:11:30,832
Often complemented
with an iced coffee
286
00:11:30,867 --> 00:11:33,067
or frozen kale-based drink.
287
00:11:33,103 --> 00:11:34,902
- That's magnificent.
- Mm-hmm.
288
00:11:34,938 --> 00:11:37,271
Hey, bubble butt!
Pick up the pace!
289
00:11:37,307 --> 00:11:38,773
Coming, Leah!
290
00:11:38,808 --> 00:11:40,375
Did she just call you
"bubble butt"?
291
00:11:40,410 --> 00:11:42,310
Oh, it's a friendly nickname.
292
00:11:42,345 --> 00:11:45,747
And let's face it--
papi's got back!
293
00:11:45,782 --> 00:11:47,281
W--
294
00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:51,219
Oh, I don't like
the looks of this.
295
00:11:51,254 --> 00:11:53,655
Since when can you drink kale?
296
00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:57,792
I just feel like I can't share
anything personal with Andy.
297
00:11:57,827 --> 00:11:59,427
Is that because
he doesn't listen?
298
00:11:59,462 --> 00:12:01,896
Oh, no, he listens hard.
299
00:12:01,931 --> 00:12:03,264
Too hard.
300
00:12:03,299 --> 00:12:06,067
If I say I had a bad day,
sometimes he cries.
301
00:12:06,102 --> 00:12:07,802
For hours.
302
00:12:07,837 --> 00:12:09,771
The only way I can cheer him up
is to have sex with him.
303
00:12:09,806 --> 00:12:11,205
It's not fair.
304
00:12:11,241 --> 00:12:12,807
Yeah, I don't share
personal stuff with Laurie
305
00:12:12,842 --> 00:12:14,776
because she always has a story
to one-up me.
306
00:12:14,811 --> 00:12:17,445
It's easy talking to you. We can
have an actual conversation.
307
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,247
Totally.
308
00:12:19,282 --> 00:12:20,782
I mean, at first, we were
just talking about, you know,
309
00:12:20,817 --> 00:12:22,383
work frustrations or whatever.
310
00:12:22,419 --> 00:12:26,354
But now I feel like I could
talk to you about anything.
311
00:12:26,389 --> 00:12:27,855
Definitely.
312
00:12:27,891 --> 00:12:29,123
- There's a mutual trust here.
- Mm-hmm.
313
00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:30,992
You know, it's just you and me,
314
00:12:31,027 --> 00:12:34,762
opening up about things that
we couldn't say to anyone else,
315
00:12:34,798 --> 00:12:39,300
including the people we're
in actual relationships with.
316
00:12:40,403 --> 00:12:43,337
Oh, my God. We're having
an emotional affair.
317
00:12:43,373 --> 00:12:46,140
Okay, should I get dad
and Grayson BFF necklaces
318
00:12:46,176 --> 00:12:48,976
or best friend t-shirts
with their picture on it?
319
00:12:50,346 --> 00:12:51,879
- Hey, Jules.
- Yeah?
320
00:12:51,915 --> 00:12:54,415
Um, when two guys go fishing,
321
00:12:54,451 --> 00:12:58,219
they normally do that
at, like, water, right?
322
00:12:58,254 --> 00:12:59,754
Bruce Willis was all like...
323
00:13:02,292 --> 00:13:03,458
Hi! What...
324
00:13:03,493 --> 00:13:05,193
What's up?
325
00:13:05,228 --> 00:13:06,761
I thought you and Chick
were fishing.
326
00:13:06,796 --> 00:13:09,130
Oh, hey, did Andy get in
with the Leahs?
327
00:13:09,165 --> 00:13:12,366
Lucky dog.
These gals run this town.
328
00:13:15,535 --> 00:13:17,802
I'm so mad at you,
ditching my dad.
329
00:13:17,837 --> 00:13:20,171
And yeah, I can be mad and eat.
330
00:13:20,206 --> 00:13:22,073
I didn't ditch Chick.
We ditched each other.
331
00:13:22,108 --> 00:13:23,841
It was a mutual ditch.
332
00:13:23,876 --> 00:13:25,209
Okay, so you both lied.
333
00:13:25,245 --> 00:13:26,811
Now he's just wandering
the streets by himself
334
00:13:26,846 --> 00:13:28,846
because you were too selfish
to hang out with him.
335
00:13:28,881 --> 00:13:31,249
Now if he's missing, I'm gonna
have to call the police.
336
00:13:31,284 --> 00:13:33,517
Jules, stop. He's not missing.
337
00:13:33,553 --> 00:13:36,087
He's fine. Come with me.
338
00:13:36,122 --> 00:13:37,388
Oh, I guess our bro-date
to the movies
339
00:13:37,423 --> 00:13:39,023
doesn't mean anything.
340
00:13:39,058 --> 00:13:41,125
And now playing big fat idiot--
Tom.
341
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,894
No. No.
342
00:13:43,930 --> 00:13:45,529
I'm so ashamed.
343
00:13:45,565 --> 00:13:47,832
Don't be so hard on yourself,
okay?
344
00:13:47,867 --> 00:13:49,834
There were two of us
in that van.
345
00:13:49,869 --> 00:13:51,135
I've just been
so stressed lately,
346
00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:54,338
and there you were,
all pale and asexual
347
00:13:54,374 --> 00:13:56,173
and didn't seem
remotely dangerous.
348
00:13:56,209 --> 00:13:57,475
It just happened.
349
00:13:57,510 --> 00:13:59,610
Well, in fairness,
350
00:13:59,646 --> 00:14:03,147
you were the one
who opened up first.
351
00:14:03,182 --> 00:14:04,982
It was unexpected.
It made me lower my guard.
352
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,417
I got sucked in.
353
00:14:06,452 --> 00:14:09,353
Are you saying that
I emotionally seduced you?
354
00:14:09,389 --> 00:14:11,289
I didn't seduce you.
355
00:14:11,324 --> 00:14:13,457
If I seduced you,
you would know it.
356
00:14:13,493 --> 00:14:15,059
Please stop saying "Seduced."
357
00:14:15,094 --> 00:14:17,161
- Hi, guys.
- I didn't do anything!
358
00:14:17,196 --> 00:14:20,031
I'll have, uh, anything
infused with cucumber.
359
00:14:20,066 --> 00:14:21,365
I'm trying to cut back
on my calories.
360
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:24,068
And cucumber is awesome
for your skin.
361
00:14:24,103 --> 00:14:25,436
I love your skin.
362
00:14:25,471 --> 00:14:27,271
I love you. Mwah!
363
00:14:27,307 --> 00:14:29,440
Dial it back.
364
00:14:29,475 --> 00:14:31,008
- Hey, babe.
- I'm a good person.
365
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,343
Okay.
366
00:14:32,378 --> 00:14:36,080
You know, the most horrible girl
I ever knew
367
00:14:36,115 --> 00:14:39,116
was actually named Goodperson.
368
00:14:39,152 --> 00:14:41,285
So this one Halloween, we...
369
00:14:41,321 --> 00:14:43,287
No.
370
00:14:43,323 --> 00:14:44,655
Do not tell
the Angel Goodperson story
371
00:14:44,691 --> 00:14:46,357
anywhere near a child.
372
00:14:46,392 --> 00:14:49,293
Andy, I wanna talk to you
about something really fast.
373
00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:52,630
We have to stop
sharing feelings.
374
00:14:52,665 --> 00:14:55,132
- I can't live with the lies.
- I know.
375
00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:56,901
- It's filthy.
- Shameful.
376
00:14:56,936 --> 00:14:59,570
- I don't want it to stop.
- I'll get the van.
377
00:14:59,605 --> 00:15:01,305
About the mom club...
378
00:15:01,341 --> 00:15:02,573
You want in, right?
379
00:15:02,608 --> 00:15:05,509
Sometimes,
a pack of alpha bitches
380
00:15:05,545 --> 00:15:08,012
will take on a new member.
381
00:15:08,047 --> 00:15:09,680
Sort of... a Patsy.
382
00:15:09,716 --> 00:15:12,083
Andy, you're their Patsy.
383
00:15:12,118 --> 00:15:13,951
I'm... their fall guy?
384
00:15:13,986 --> 00:15:16,153
What? No.
385
00:15:16,189 --> 00:15:18,189
Patsy was
a girl from high school
386
00:15:18,224 --> 00:15:21,125
that my group of alpha bitches
took on as a new member.
387
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,427
We made her do stuff for us--
you know, like our homework
388
00:15:23,463 --> 00:15:25,629
or bitch slap teachers
who were failing us.
389
00:15:25,665 --> 00:15:28,532
You're-- you're crazy.
The Leahs love me.
390
00:15:28,568 --> 00:15:30,301
That's why they let me
carry all their stuff
391
00:15:30,336 --> 00:15:33,137
and call me "bubble butt."
392
00:15:33,172 --> 00:15:35,940
I know
they don't like me, Laurie.
393
00:15:35,975 --> 00:15:37,274
I've always known.
394
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:39,610
Then why do you hang out
with them?
395
00:15:39,645 --> 00:15:41,312
Because I'm new
on the elementary school scene
396
00:15:41,347 --> 00:15:44,281
and I don't have
one parent friend.
397
00:15:44,317 --> 00:15:45,583
And I may be the Patsy
of the group,
398
00:15:45,618 --> 00:15:47,718
but at least I'm in the group,
right?
399
00:15:47,754 --> 00:15:51,122
And to be honest, I think I'm
starting to earn their respect.
400
00:15:51,157 --> 00:15:53,424
Hey, yoga in five.
401
00:15:53,459 --> 00:15:55,226
We need you to carry our mats.
402
00:15:55,261 --> 00:15:57,995
At your service!
403
00:15:59,365 --> 00:16:02,032
Dad, are you here?
404
00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:04,135
Shoot.
I could've sworn he said
405
00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:07,204
he'd be here eating butterscotch
and watching Blue Bloods.
406
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:08,539
Just like you could've sworn
he was at the VFW
407
00:16:08,574 --> 00:16:11,208
or the boot barn
or the hardware store?
408
00:16:11,244 --> 00:16:13,978
You keep taking me places,
and he's not there.
409
00:16:14,013 --> 00:16:15,446
Marlo's! Oh, of course!
410
00:16:15,481 --> 00:16:16,747
This is the time of day
411
00:16:16,783 --> 00:16:18,549
he always gets a hankering
for fro-yo.
412
00:16:18,584 --> 00:16:21,352
Okay, stop it.
I'm calling the police.
413
00:16:21,387 --> 00:16:23,053
Jules, stop.
414
00:16:23,089 --> 00:16:25,456
Your dad's fine,
and I know where he is.
415
00:16:25,491 --> 00:16:26,724
And this time,
I'm not just stalling
416
00:16:26,759 --> 00:16:28,225
or intentionally wasting time
417
00:16:28,261 --> 00:16:30,394
like I have been
for the last two hours.
418
00:16:30,430 --> 00:16:32,596
You've been taking me
on an angry goose chase?
419
00:16:32,632 --> 00:16:35,666
No, I've been taking you
on a wild-goose chase.
420
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:39,003
That's not a thing. Why would
anyone chase a wild goose?
421
00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:41,038
Why would anyone chase
an angry goose?
422
00:16:41,073 --> 00:16:42,406
Because they stole your corn.
423
00:16:42,442 --> 00:16:45,242
Jules, can you just trust me?
424
00:16:48,681 --> 00:16:51,248
Drive. I have a lot
to unload today.
425
00:16:51,284 --> 00:16:53,417
Ellie...
426
00:16:53,453 --> 00:16:55,653
- I can't.
- Can't what?
427
00:16:55,688 --> 00:16:57,621
I can't do this anymore.
428
00:16:57,657 --> 00:16:59,557
After I left the pub,
Laurie called
429
00:16:59,592 --> 00:17:01,792
to finish
the Angel Goodperson story.
430
00:17:01,828 --> 00:17:03,360
If she's sharing things
with me,
431
00:17:03,396 --> 00:17:04,695
how can I share
with someone else?
432
00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:06,497
Don't say it.
433
00:17:06,532 --> 00:17:07,798
It's over.
434
00:17:09,502 --> 00:17:11,469
You don't say it's over.
435
00:17:11,504 --> 00:17:14,638
I will make your whole world
come crashing down.
436
00:17:14,674 --> 00:17:16,474
Why would you wanna do that?
437
00:17:16,509 --> 00:17:18,042
Oh. I'm sorry.
438
00:17:18,077 --> 00:17:20,644
I just find threatening people
relaxing.
439
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,180
You're right. I don't wanna
keep things from Andy,
440
00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:24,648
even if I have to climb
on top of him
441
00:17:24,684 --> 00:17:28,052
to cheer him up when I'm sad.
442
00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:29,520
Yeah.
443
00:17:29,555 --> 00:17:31,589
You know all those deep,
personal things I told you?
444
00:17:31,624 --> 00:17:34,058
I will never forget them.
445
00:17:34,093 --> 00:17:35,559
I was gonna say,
446
00:17:35,595 --> 00:17:37,228
do you know all the deep,
personal things I told you?
447
00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:39,763
Forget them, or so help me God,
448
00:17:39,799 --> 00:17:42,333
I will catfish you again.
449
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,139
That was you?!
450
00:17:49,175 --> 00:17:53,344
Oh, well, well.
If it isn't the alpha bitches.
451
00:17:53,379 --> 00:17:54,745
Go away.
452
00:17:56,282 --> 00:17:59,517
High school me
would've already destroyed you,
453
00:17:59,552 --> 00:18:01,151
dismantling your bitch pack
454
00:18:01,187 --> 00:18:03,487
and claiming your scattered,
newly orphaned bitches
455
00:18:03,523 --> 00:18:04,822
as my own.
456
00:18:04,857 --> 00:18:06,390
Oh, no! Don't kill her, please.
Please.
457
00:18:06,425 --> 00:18:08,692
But I'm a mom now,
458
00:18:08,728 --> 00:18:10,494
and now my baby is old enough
to go outside--
459
00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:13,664
he's gotten his cradle cap
and baby acne under control.
460
00:18:13,699 --> 00:18:17,501
And I'm in the market
for a new mom friend.
461
00:18:19,739 --> 00:18:21,705
You wanna join
our cool yoga group?
462
00:18:21,741 --> 00:18:25,576
No. I'm looking for someone
who's actually cool.
463
00:18:25,611 --> 00:18:28,779
You know, fun, considerate,
464
00:18:28,814 --> 00:18:31,348
and self-confident enough that
they don't need to parade around
465
00:18:31,384 --> 00:18:34,184
like some pompous,
snooty-ass bitch
466
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:36,153
who is so shallow and obnoxious
467
00:18:36,188 --> 00:18:37,655
that it makes me wanna
reach around from behind
468
00:18:37,690 --> 00:18:39,456
and choke her with her own
badly installed implants.
469
00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:43,160
So I'm gonna be over there
doing some yoga'ing
470
00:18:43,195 --> 00:18:46,263
and if anyone fits
that description,
471
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:47,498
come and join me.
472
00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:48,732
Sorry, baby.
473
00:18:48,768 --> 00:18:50,301
She means me.
474
00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:51,635
See ya!
475
00:18:53,806 --> 00:18:56,707
Hey, what do you know?
476
00:18:56,742 --> 00:18:58,876
Vacant spot in the Leahs...
A Tom...
477
00:18:58,911 --> 00:19:00,377
This just makes sense.
478
00:19:02,782 --> 00:19:05,449
Why'd you bring me to the park?
479
00:19:05,484 --> 00:19:07,184
Well, Jules,
you like to be involved
480
00:19:07,219 --> 00:19:09,153
in the lives
of the people you love.
481
00:19:09,188 --> 00:19:12,189
Very, very involved--
like the time you left
482
00:19:12,224 --> 00:19:13,390
step-by-step instructions
for Trav
483
00:19:13,426 --> 00:19:15,459
on the night he lost
his virginity.
484
00:19:15,494 --> 00:19:17,494
I wanted him to feel
I was right there by his side.
485
00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:20,397
Sometimes, when a person
is making a big step,
486
00:19:20,433 --> 00:19:23,267
trying something
a little difficult,
487
00:19:23,302 --> 00:19:25,436
well, sometimes
they're not ready
488
00:19:25,471 --> 00:19:27,605
to share with other people.
489
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,441
♪ there's no hesitation ♪
490
00:19:30,476 --> 00:19:31,709
♪ oh, baby ♪
491
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,447
Why is my dad holding hands
with that stranger?
492
00:19:36,482 --> 00:19:38,515
Is she trying
to steal his watch?
493
00:19:38,551 --> 00:19:41,352
Jules, your dad is on a date.
494
00:19:41,387 --> 00:19:43,354
My dad is on a date?
495
00:19:43,389 --> 00:19:45,489
He's still trying to get to know her.
496
00:19:45,524 --> 00:19:48,258
He wanted to take some time
and work some stuff out, but...
497
00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:50,427
Then you started to pry
and ask questions
498
00:19:50,463 --> 00:19:54,798
and forced us to go
on playdates together, so...
499
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:57,334
Chick and I made a plan
to play along.
500
00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:59,536
You know, you doing all that
for my dad,
501
00:19:59,572 --> 00:20:01,639
making a plan
and having his back...
502
00:20:01,674 --> 00:20:03,440
that's best buddy stuff.
503
00:20:03,476 --> 00:20:05,309
Don't be ridiculous.
Jules, seriously?
504
00:20:05,344 --> 00:20:07,478
I had a cup of coffee
and some wine.
505
00:20:07,513 --> 00:20:08,979
- I'm gonna find you a bathroom.
- No, no, no.
506
00:20:09,015 --> 00:20:11,582
Shh, shh.
I don't wanna miss this.
507
00:20:11,617 --> 00:20:14,251
Okay, maybe I need a bush.
508
00:20:14,286 --> 00:20:15,686
- Or a cup. Get me a cup.
- Okay, I'm gonna walk away.
509
00:20:15,721 --> 00:20:17,554
Yeah, no, get me a cup.
Come back!
510
00:20:18,529 --> 00:20:20,429
Oh. Travis.
511
00:20:20,464 --> 00:20:21,697
Ellie. Hi.
512
00:20:21,732 --> 00:20:22,898
- Hi. What are you up to?
- How are you?
513
00:20:22,933 --> 00:20:24,700
Well...
514
00:20:24,735 --> 00:20:25,968
Oh. I'm well.
515
00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:28,537
Um, getting in the zone
at work.
516
00:20:28,572 --> 00:20:30,505
You know. And you?
517
00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:32,608
The-- the-- the winebulance?
518
00:20:32,643 --> 00:20:35,744
- No complaints.
- I'm just, um...
519
00:20:35,779 --> 00:20:37,946
Here to get, uh... takeout.
520
00:20:37,982 --> 00:20:39,815
It was good to see you.
521
00:20:39,850 --> 00:20:41,984
And you.
522
00:20:42,019 --> 00:20:43,652
Hey, maybe sometime we could...
523
00:20:45,721 --> 00:20:47,285
Don't.
524
00:20:48,376 --> 00:20:50,599
Just-- don't.
525
00:20:55,194 --> 00:20:59,115
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com